Friday 27th June 2025
Blog Page 1665

The best festivals you’ve never heard of

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1) Burning Man Festival, Black Rock City, Nevada

This is an unconventional one. Each summer close to 50,000 festival-goers gather in the Nevada desert for eight days of hedonism, climaxing in the burning of a giant, Wickermanesque effigy. During those eight days there are no rules, other than the prohibition of any form of cash – instead there exists a barter economy. Those who attend don’t perceive the Burning Man as a festival but as the formation of a desert community. Participants form ‘villages’ and enjoy a ‘contemporary community dedicated to radical self-expression and radical self-reliance’. They can create their own ‘mutant vehicle’ – an adapted street vehicle – yet it must be unrecognisable as one. All those who attend are on an equal footing while at the festival, they even discarded the main stage a few years ago because it created division between the audience and performers. Everyone is welcome to take part.

2) Gathering of the Juggalos, Illinois:

Not one for the faint hearted. A Juggalo is someone ‘who’s down with the clowns ’til they’re dead in the ground.’ AKA, fans of acts such as the Insane Clown Posse – a ‘horror-themed’ rap duo, invariably bedecked in clownish facepaint. Those who call themselves a ‘Juggalo’ (including Charlie Sheen and Vanilla Ice among others) call it a family and the Gathering of the Juggalos is their home. For fans of ICP’s violent rap, the ‘Gathering’ is a “family-fun-times-underground-hardcore-hip-hop” music festival. This strange synthesis of an emphasis on family, violent music, drinking (and in some cases drug taking), has even been documented, well worth a watch: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/27/newdocumentary- sheds-lig_n_984096.html

3) Expecto Patronum:

On a more light-hearted note, this was a Harry Potter-dedicated festival in 2009. Although not strictly musical, they did feature a bunch of Harry Potter-themed Wizard Rock (Wrock) bands: Draco and the Malfoys, The 8th Horcrux, Harry and the Potters, Solitary Snape and Swedish Shortsnouts. Sadly it was only a one-off festival.

4) All Tomorrow’s Parties, East Sussex:

An alternative to the larger UK festivals. ATP is sponsorship-free and all the organisers, artists and fans camp together in the Camber Sands Holiday Camp. The line-up is curated by a different artist each year, and is described by its founder as ‘like an excellent mix tape compiled by your favourite musicians’. ATP is seen by festival-goers as a rare opportunity to take a trip through an artist’s record collection, and thus features all the legends as well as those more obscure artists you could imagine. Past Curators of ATP have included Mogwai, Pavement, Belle & Sebastian, Animal Collective, Mudhoney, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Devendra Banhart, Dinosaur Jr, The Shins, Thurston Moore, Sonic Youth, The Dirty Three and Portishead. ATP has achieved such a level of cult status that a film has even been made about it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0870210/

5) Shambhala Music Festival:

Canada Shambhala began in 1998 when approximately 500 people gathered at the Salmo River Ranch. It has grown into a community built upon ‘Shambhalove’. Today Shambhala is a four-day progressive electronic music festival in British Columbia’s Kootenay Mountainous forests and now features the popular ‘Acid Friday’ – need I say more? The festival is produced by a family of five, takes place on their farm, and does not accept any corporate sponsorship. When not hosting the festival, the 500-acre Salmo River Ranch is a working farm; however, during the festival a crew of 2000 workers and volunteers combined with ten thousand festival-goers makes Shambhala the largest city in the West Kootenays for five days – all of this on a farm without even an electricity hookup.

6) Lost Events, Sydney:

‘Lost Events’ are a group of party organisers who only reveal the location of their parties at the last minute. You buy your ticket not knowing where it will take you. The first event was called ‘Lost on Shark Island’ with everyone dressing up as castaways and catching a ferry to an island. This has since been followed up by other themed getaways, including ‘Lost at the Alter’, ‘Lost in the Badlands’ and ‘Lost in the Blitz’. A recent example was ‘Lost on the Trans Siberian’ in which attendees dressed Cold War themed outfits. ‘Lost Events’ then hired a 500-seater train, packed it full of speakers, and headed for the mountains with their revelers.

7) Snowbombing, Austria:

Snowbombing is held at the Austrian Ski Resort Mayrhofen – think Ibiza in the snow (pools and saunas) but with winter sports and traditional Austrian culture (visualise lederhosen, sausages and Oompah bands). Music and events are held in cool locations such as an igloo village, a forest clearing and a remote alpine farmstead. The most exciting part is the Snowbombing Road Trip – a drive from the UK to Mayrhofen through a series of collecting points, pitstops and the arrival procession to open the event. Past acts have included Fatboy Slim, 2manyDJs, Zane Lowe, Dizzee Rascal, Dirty Pretty Things, Grandmaster Flash and Foals.

8) Llangollen International Eisteddfod, Wales:

A slightly different one to round things off with: every year the Welsh town of Llangollen stages a six-day festival of music, dance and song, in which over 4,000 performers from across the globe head to this beautiful little town to partake. In 2005 Luciano Pavarotti added his name to the competition in recognition of his appreciation of the festival and its influence on his career. There are around 25 different competitions, climaxing with the prestigious ‘Choir of the World’ where winning choirs compete for the Pavarotti Trophy.

Smoking marijuana: the key to political success?

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Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Alistair Darling, Nick Clegg, Louise Mensch and now, we discover Chuka Umunna, have all done it. David Cameron has made a point of not telling us whether he has or he hasn’t. Bill Clinton allegedly did so in the beer garden of Oxford’s very own Turf Tavern. David Miliband, on the other hand, has said that he never tried himself because at university he was ‘a bit square’ – mmm, funny that. The topic of discussion? Smoking marijuana, of course.

When it emerged that Bill Clinton had smoked pot in his student days as a Rhodes scholar in Oxford, it almost derailed his presidential campaign. However when Barack Obama confessed to doing the same, hardly anyone batted an eyelid. The black chalkboard propped up against the wall of The Turf, laying claim to be the place where Clinton did or did not first inhale, is now a key attraction, drawing visitors from afar to this historic pub.

In the past decade, views and attitudes towards youthful experiments with cannabis have changed beyond imagination. Across the pond it is whispered that Obama may legalise the drug as his latest big political move. Of course, it’s still a controversial topic to bring to the fore, and the hard facts aren’t available yet to back up any proposed policy. Nonetheless, with drug related violence continuing to increase in America, especially over the border in Mexico, the advocation of marijuana reform is no longer a taboo subject. With a presidential election looming that will probably be closer than most Democrats want to believe, the fact that legalising marijuana could be one of the big policies fronting Obama’s campaign sends out a pretty big statement that perceptions have changed. 

With the expenses controversy, the phone hacking furore, and now the banking scandal in full swing, politicians are desperately trying more than ever to keep ‘in touch’ with the public. Right now, every little bit helps. If that means demonstrating that they were, once at least, just like any other university student, experimenting, trying to fit in with their mates, then so be it. And all that could involve soft drugs. I’m surprised public relations gurus across the land aren’t pushing MPs to come out with it. It won’t be long now before Jacob Rees-Mogg is the next politico to admit that he was ‘rather partial to the odd puff now and again…’

Despite this growing social acceptance, however, we shouldn’t forget that the side effects of smoking marijuana are extremely dangerous. A recent report from the British Lung Foundation shows that there are established scientific links between smoking cannabis and tuberculosis, acute bronchitis and lung cancer. The risk of lung cancer from smoking cannabis is 20 times higher than that from smoking tobacco cigarettes. Smoking cannabis could also expose users to a vastly increased risk of developing a psychotic illness, such as schizophrenia. So despite the growing social acceptance, despite the increasing number of public figures admitting to having smoked cannabis and despite this show of humility, honesty and proof of being ‘in touch’, we shouldn’t just sit back and give them a pat on the back for this achievement – smoking marijuana is dangerous and in the interest of public health deserves to remain a controversial issue. Debate, anyone?

Cinema vs the Olympics

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I really digged (dug?) the Beijing Olympics. I can remember staying up until 4 in the morning in order to catch the results of the show-jumping (you know you’ve got a problem when terms like Hogsback and Piaffe make sense to you) and then sleeping until 3pm the next day in order to maintain my stamina for the sailing events or, best of all, the Keirin. What the fuck even is a Keirin?

Maybe I got my fill four years ago or maybe I just don’t have the enthusiasm for track and field that I once had but, this summer, I’ll be surprised if I watch more than the 100 metres final. London is going to be insufferable; as if it weren’t already sticky enough, smoggy enough or full of incredibly loud Spanish tourists (enough), the entire world is going to be descending onto my doorstep. Not literally, I hope.

It’s lucky for me, therefore, that my dominant passion is going to the cinema, which are like bomb shelters from the incessant hooting of vuvuzelas and the carriages of the Tube, which are liable to feel more and more like clammy coffins or some sick pre-school science experiment involving a family of slugs and a roll of clingfilm.  When I imagine stretching out, preferably alone, in Screen 2 of the Cineworld Haymarket (a cool couple of miles from the Olympic park in Stratford), the cinema’s normally irritating air conditioning blowing my newly shaved hair about, I remember why it is that I prefer sitting in these dark, projector lit rooms to queuing for two hours to see a series of men in leotards straddle a pommel horse.

For many people, the highlight of this summer’s cinematic schedule is this month’s The Dark Knight Rises. Much as I’m looking forward to Christian Bale’s final outing in the Batman costume, there are plenty of other treats about, many of which you’ll only be able to find if you’re willing to poke about whilst everyone else is glued to BBC1. It’s a simple choice: spend your summer gaining an instantly regrettable amount of knowledge about minor sports and the obscure countries that compete in them, or acquire life experience and a meditative sense of calm by heading for the cinemas.

Judging, however, by the amount of Euro 2012 that I’ve spent the last month watching (prelims, what prelims?) my prediction that I’ll manage to evade the long arm of the Olympics for more than a day or two might be proved somewhat premature. All I really want is cool, calm and a half-gallon of Coke. Is that too much to ask for this summer?

Interview: Hazel Blears

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The first thing that strikes you about Hazel is her height – 4ft.10, the ‘motorized munchkin’ of British politics. The second thing I learnt precluded me from mentioning the first; she’s fiery – sugary sweet but not to be crossed. Suggesting a resemblance with Dolores Umbridge of the Harry Potter series would be cruel, but since the thought provokes a chuckle then superficially at least the comparison contains truth.

The daughter of a maintenance fitter, Hazel came into a firmly working-class tradition. She went to grammar school followed by Trent Polytechnic. Practicing law was her unambiguous aspiration; she describes herself then as ‘an angry young woman’ who saw law as a way to ‘stand up for people’. Was it simply a stepping stone into politics? Apparently not, though through emotively recounting the story of a job interview after graduating, it seems to have been on the agenda from the early days. After sending out ‘300 letters without reply’ she’d only been given one interview, and only since her father was doing nuts-and-bolts stuff on the company’s shop floor. ‘Half way through the interview’ however ‘the partner asked what my Dad did for the company. When I told him he was a fitter on the shop floor he closed his folder and said ‘Good Morning, I think I’ve heard enough’ and showed me the door’. This New Labour politician was inducted into the Old Labour world view of class politics at a fragile young age.

‘I realised then that it wasn’t lawyers who changed the world…the people who really change the balance of power between rich and poor are politicians. That really gave me the impetus to go for Parliament’. That wasn’t easy either. Before 1997, she had fought two seats – one ‘unwinnable’ (Tatton, then Neil Hamilton’s fiefdom) and the other (Bury South, where she lost by only 700 votes) distinctly ‘winnable’. Her disappointment over losing in Bury was an experience she coyly describes as ‘character building’. She recounts having to abandon her job and livelihood to stand, and for a while it seemed she would win. In the final week of the campaign however, following Kinnock’s notoriously hubristic Sheffield Rally and a concerted attack by the Murdoch Press, her hard work was undone. You can’t help but feel sympathy for those swing-seat constituency candidates. They must sacrifice almost everything to acheive victory, even though the end result is ultimately the consequence of national mood-swings which, on a local level, appear whimsical and callous.

A tough ride into Parliament meant that once inside she wasn’t afraid of rubbing people up the wrong way. Frank Dobson once expressed his enthusiasm for global warming through a deep aversion to Blears since ‘the rising sea levels would get her first’. Her most theatrical moment came in 2009 when she unsubtly sought to ‘rock the boat’ by resigning from Cabinet. The Labour Party prizes collegial loyalty above all else; such a blatant act of treachery combined with an unreconstructed Blairism and dodgy expenses claims has seen her stock fall among Labour insiders, rendering a return to the front-bench inconceivable. [mm-hide-text]%%IMG%%5658%%[/mm-hide-text]

Yet at 56, in one of the safest seats in the country (Salford, a city ‘deep in my blood’), Hazel’s career is far from over. Like a large number of former New Labour ministers who face backbench renunciation in a Miliband government, Hazel has become a vigorous parliamentarian, campaigning most recently for universally paid internships.

The current arrangement, whereby new graduates in competitive industries must submit to years of slave labour before maybe getting a paid contract, is tough to argue for. Having Hazel as the opponent makes it all the more difficult. I had thought I was fairly clued up on the issue, insecure in the knowledge that I’ll shortly be entering the rat race. Yet my ignorance of the law, and Blears’ expertise in it opened up a fruitful discussion. ‘Unpaid internships are illegal. Under National Minimum Wage legislation, if a person has set hours and set tasks, then they are legally an employee, entitled to the [NMW]’. Indeed the concept of an ‘intern’ has no definition in British law; as Hazel describes it’s a wholly ‘American import’. If you are not an employee, you are a volunteer. Interns – with their concrete working shifts and very real workloads – very much fall into the former. Try taking a day off work as an intern and see what happens.

The point is that no new legislation is needed; the government simply ‘needs to enforce what’s already on the Statute’. However a quick scan of the popular w4mp website, where most parliamentary internships are advertised, shows how Parliament flouts the law it approved itself fourteen years ago. Martin Vickers, a Tory MP, has recently advertised a 6 month unpaid internship. When I contacted his office, his parliamentary aide was quick to reply pointing out that, having himself worked as an unpaid intern, ‘[he] benefited immeasurably from the experience and was [subsequently] successful in securing paid employment in a career I love’. In the past some interns had been paid, ‘depending on their individual circumstances and the availability of funds’ in the office.

I put it to Blears that the good intentions of the campaign betray its naivety. If the problem is a deficit of working-class people in politics, then isn’t the requirement for MPs’ offices to pay them a salary – making it more costly to offer internships – counter-productive? In the murky world of upper-middle class patronage, the few remaining ones will be doled out by MPs to personal contacts and family friends. She’s not persuaded, recounting Tory scaremongering over the NMW, which despite concerns about youth unemployment substantially raising living standards in the bottom decile with no extra unemployment. I suspect the two cases are less than analogous. Indeed it simply is not credible that salaried internships will lead to anything other than their intense scarcity, especially given how sensitive politicians like Vickers are to be seen to provide taxpayer value. But this misses the point, which is that the number of internships available does nothing for social mobility if they are all occupied by rich kids. In other words, fewer overall internships are a fair price to pay for a more equitable distribution of the opportunities entailed by them.

As she rightly notes, it’s not just young people who have a stake in this; ‘the country as whole loses out [in terms of] talent and creativity’. Indeed by allowing internships to be captured by the wealthy we are hugely restricting the talent pool from which to dram tomorrow’s leaders. If Roy Hodgson, the England Manager, decided to only pick players with rich parents, there would be uproar. Not just because of the unfairness – debasing an honour (playing for ones country) by discriminating on income as opposed to merit – but because the team would be pants. The decision would rightly be seen as a massive, self-inflicted own-goal (to exhaust the metaphor).

Leaving Portcullis House I speak with Kay, Hazel’s intern, about her experience. She’d previously nurtured vague political aspirations but hadn’t realised, until now, how getting ahead in the Westminster village ‘is all about the connections’ which she’s tentatively started making. Gazing around the central atrium Kay is a refreshing contrast to the other floppy-haired, self-assured SPADs I observe busying about. If more parliamentarians adopted intern-pay, if we had more Kays, I daresay the next generation’s political leaders would seem considerably less odious.

Review: Henry V

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Closing the Globe to Globe festival, which saw 38 of Shakespeare’s plays performed in as many languages (a Korean A Midsummer Night’s Dream and a signed Love’s Labour’s Lost among the 38), and opening the Globe’s own season, Dominic Dromgoole’s production of Henry V could not seemingly be more aptly timed. The history of the English victory over the French at Agincourt contains Shakespeare’s most renowned battle-eve speeches and has, in the past, been used to glorify British imperialism or re-enliven a faltering patriotism during war. Set against the bunting-strewn backdrop of the Queen’s Jubilee and the imminent prospect of the London Olympics, you’d be forgiven for thinking audiences might be left a chorus of Jerusalem away from hurling themselves into an angry pit of corgis.

However, the actuality of the text, whose nuances are drawn out by Dromgoole’s production, is one that is focused is on the depravity of  war as much as on the glory of a nation; a far cry from the rallying nationalism of Laurence Olivier’s 1944 film version. Stirring sentiment is interrupted by the lewdly drunken exchanges between Bardolph, Nym and Sam Cox‘s Fagin-like Pistol; Archbishops strategise while taking turns on the loo with the opening Chorus “O for a muse of fire…” delivered by Brid Brennan as their toilet attendant. While on occasion the roughness of this humour jarred too strongly with scenes that might have been more sincere, it is in this crude undercurrent where the strength of the production lies; sentimentality is undercut and tempered by the bathos of the comedy.

Similarly, Jamie Parker as Henry does not allow the King’s rousing calls-to-arms to veer into jingoist territory. His Harry is one wearied and horrified by the pity of war; news of victory is not greeted with celebration but with pained relief, and tears. Audiences may recognise Parker as the young Prince Hal in Dromgoole’s 2010 productions of Henry IV (or as the one who plays the piano in The History Boys film, for those of us who didn’t make it). His older, reformed Henry still retains a slight boyishness that hints at his wilder past, yet also engenders the poignant revelation of the sacrifice of a king and of an innocence lost to war. The ruthless politician who sentences traitors to death also cries at his friends’ betrayal; while “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more” is impassioned and inciting, only a quiet thread of pride is allowed to run through his delivery of “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers”. His courtship of Olivia Ross’ Katherine is tender in its awkwardness and characteristic of Parker’s ability to tap into the humanity of the text, that empirical humanity being the touching keynote of this exceptional production.

Shakespeare’s Henry V at The Globe Theatre runs until August 26th.

East End Classics Centre to launch

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The East End Classics Centre in Hackney was opened on the 27th June. The Centre will offer A-Level courses in Classical Civilisation beginning in Autumn 2012, and intends to offer Latin and Greek A-Levels from Autumn 2014. The project was launched by the BSix Academy (a sixth-form college) in collaboration with Oxford University and Birkbeck.

A ‘Garden of the Ancient World’ has also been built, complete with busts of ancient politicians, thinkers and gods, A ‘Library of the Ancient World’ will enable Classics students and members of the community to borrow Classics books at every level.

The project is part of the BSix’s collaborative effort with Oxford academics to prepare state school students for higher education. The Centre’s brochure states that “above all, the Centre would like to nurture lifelong emotional connections to the ancient world; with students, parents and guardians taking an interest by attending a play, a lecture or visiting an exhibition”. The courses offered will be available to students at all schools and colleges in the East End.

Dr Peter Claus, Senior Research Fellow in History at Pembroke College, has been facilitating the collaboration between BSix and Oxford University. He said that the Centre aimed to challenge the “perception that Classics is irrelevant or even somehow ‘off limits’ to all but a very small group of people”.

Claus emphasised the wide range of options made available by the Centre. “With educational sessions to be held in the British Museum, trips organized to Greece and Italy, plays organized by the Iris Project and with a commitment to building a dedicated Library of the Ancient World, we hope that Classics will become a viable choice for all potential undergraduates”.

Dr Armand D’Angour, Classics Fellow at Jesus College, featured as a guest speaker at the opening gala of the Centre. Dr D’Angour spoke enthusiastically about the “marvelous project with which I shall be involved for years”.

“The Principal Ken Warman is a very inspirational educator”, D’Angour commented. “He gave a speech at the opening in which he laid out his vision for education as something that broadens the mind, imparts life skills, and inspires the imagination, not simply that equips students for jobs (that may not exist in the future).’

“The Classics Garden at BSix has history boards about ancient Greece and Rome, but also about ancient India and other civilisations, emphasising the multicultural nature of world history and achievement to a student body that comprises dozens of different ethnic backgrounds with different linguistic expressions.”

Dr Jonathan Katz of St Anne’s College, who is involved in the ‘Classics Academy’ scheme which teaches Latin and Greek up to A Level standard, and is a governor at Toby Young’s West London Free School, stressed the importance of teaching the ancient languages, rather than just Classical Civilisation.

“What we’ve found is that there are benefits also beyond the subjects themselves, as the pupils have had to do quite a lot of homework, including rigorous written exercises and plenty of learning by heart”.

“The most exciting thing for me [at the West London Free School] is to see that children in a pretty full ability range are getting something good and exciting and worth-while out of their Latin and Classics lessons. It’s not only the super-‘bright’ children who stand to gain”.

Although Dr Katz especially emphasised his hope that the language classes would prove to be successful, he was still positive about the initial teaching of Classical Civilisation.

“My reaction to the East End Classics Centre announcement is that it could easily do a lot to inspire school pupils with a new interest that will challenge them and give them a sense of achievement. The Classical Civilisation syllabus covers ground that they won’t see in Latin alone, and that can be valuable for them whether or not they go on to study the languages and literatures”.

Reaction from students has also been positive. First year Classicist Leah Lazar said, “I think that the new East End Classics Centre is a great example by which to encourage the teaching of Classics in the wider school system. The study of Classics should not be the reserve of the privileged; this new centre will hopefully help to bring Classics back into the mainstream.”

Mischa Frankl-Duval, an English Literature student at New College, expressed a similar sentiment. “It’s pretty ridiculous that one of the largest faculties in Oxford is more or less inaccessible to the vast majority of students; the East End Classics Centre seems like a great initiative.”

Light at Night

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A merry-go-round glowing in the dark

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A firework becomes red lightning as the camera struggles to capture the falling light

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The screaming teens on a fairground ride are blurred out, moving too fast,

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Recognise this New York landmark? The Empire State Building seen from a Brooklyn rooftop

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The beginnings of a wickerman bloom in a dark November night in Oxford.

Tom Maynard: A Life Too Short

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A week is a long time in sport. In life, however, a week is simply taken for granted and often forgotten over a lifetime. It has now been two weeks since Tom Maynard tragically passed away, and that means two weeks that he has not had the chance to experience. 

The tragic death of Tom last Monday hit home hard; a young cricketer of prodigious talent and huge prospects, his exciting future was prematurely ended in just a few fatal minutes.

 
Although his cricketing talent is what most will remember Tom by, the outpouring of emotion and grief from childhood friends, school friends, team-mates and many more bare testament to the engaging and likeable young man that Tom was. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; if anyone truly embraced the ethos of carpe diem, it was Tom.
 
In the days following Tom’s death, his popularity won by his infectious personality has been validated by the  scores of people expressing their sorrow at his death.
 
At Millfield School, Tom was one of those superstars: a sporting hero with a hint of mischief. He was someone who lived life to its fullest extent and I don’t think I’d be the only one to admit that he epitomised both who and where we wanted to be in life.
 
To me, just starting out on the cricket scene at one of the biggest and most daunting sporting institutions in the country, he was a sign of what could be achieved. Too often the sporting superstars, or ‘jocks’, as we used to call them, at schools across the country carry about them an air of arrogance and superiority as a result of their talents.

Not Tom. Confident of course – he had every right to be – but coupled with that was an approachability and warmth rarely seen among the sporting elite and these things truly set him apart.
 
Tom’s death is a tragedy and it may seem churlish to try and seek any good that has resulted from such sorrow. But it only seems right, for both Tom and for his family, that we should acknowledge that the last few days have brought everyone that knew Tom – be it through his time at Millfield School, or simply through being part of the greater cricket community – closer together, united by the strength of the bond that was and is Tom.
 
I only crossed paths with Tom through our cricketing circles at school, but in sharing many mutual friends, it is clear that he was both admired and adored by those of us lucky enough to have met him. It is for these qualities through which he must be remembered.  A life lost is always a great tragedy, but of one so young, so affable and with such sheer potential is a tragedy beyond compare. 

Going Down on Grey

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There’s nothing I like more than reading a book which doesn’t feature on my prescribed reading list. And after weeks of furious cramming I’ve had enough of Beowulf, Shakespeare, and I hate to say it, even George (Eliot and Orwell). This summer, I thought, was the time to see what the nation is reading and to dabble in some popular literature.

Naturally, the best place to start would be with the book impressively dubbed fastest selling paperback of all time: E.L James’ Fifty Shades of Grey (if you haven’t already heard of it, you’re taking the Oxford bubble too seriously). It’s the baby of the digital download revolution, the raunchy result of a public too modest to show off their erotic library on the tube. Because let’s face it, revealing you know the correct knot required to tie someone up could be seen as socially daunting. But even then, if you happen to own a tangible copy, the cover art is deliciously elusive. Taking a glance at the cover, you’d have no idea that the silver-patterned tie illustrates a volume containing the phrase: “Come, I want to show you my playroom.”  Walking into Waterstones, I carelessly picked up the bestseller prepared for its erotic content. What I wasn’t prepared for was my subsequent lack of faith in Britain’s literate population.

Ok, so that last comment probably sounds a bit harsh. But I did encounter Fifty Shades with an open mind, I really did. I just find it incredible that a book which is written with mediocre skill (at best), has trumped any and every Orange prize winner with its ‘oh my’s and casual references to riding crops. Reading Fifty Shades it’s easy to see its origins as a Twilight Fanfiction as James makes the parallels between characters easy to identify. Readers have their beloved Bella in the guise of technologically challenged Anastasia Steele (at 22 she has yet to discover email), and the vampire in the guise of vampish but still very much alive, Christian Grey. However, my disappointment with this piece of literature (the term is used loosely), is not in its blatant parallels to Twilight, but more so in the fact that nothing really happens. At all. Ever. Christian Grey, “dominant” and perhaps the biggest control freak in fiction, desires Anastasia Steele to be “submissive”. She complies then decides that, actually no, she’d rather not. Spoiler alert – oh wait – that was the whole plot.

So, why is the world reading this book? Possibly not for its comedic value, which admittedly was my incentive following the phrase: “He’s my very own Christian Grey flavour Popsicle”. What some readers may class as erotic, I found to be delightfully humorous.  But perhaps this is due to my robotic English student analysis, which picked up an array of amusing literary features. For example, we have the motif of the “foil packet” which makes a continued appearance, Grey apparently possessing at least twelve condoms on his person at any given time, just in case. We have repetition of the phrase “my inner goddess” every other line, and a great deal of “lip biting” which appears in juxtaposition to Grey’s growing erection. James also includes many an intersexual, sorry, intertextual reference to Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Anastasia likening both herself and her relationship to Hardy’s classic. But perhaps most worryingly of all is the voice of our heroine. I could almost overlook the fact she orgasms multiple times (on demand) if it wasn’t for the regrettable truth that she sounds like a juvenile. Ana constantly refers to “down there” and is prone to the occasional outburst of “holy hell!” or “holy Moses” when something particularly shocking occurs. Usually when Grey gets naked.

Fifty Shades of Grey is as far as I could get from Beowulf without resorting to actual porn, and in that sense it certainly achieved its purpose. And I must confess, I did actually enjoy the book, and read aloud it made for glorious entertainment at a £4.09 steal. It may not be great literature, or deserving a 17 week reign in the charts, but it’s worth knowing what all the fuss is about. Even if you’re not completely whipped. 

2 STARS

Is Oxford selling out?

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Tom Beardsworth: Why it’s time to get big-money out of university education.

Cherwell reported last week on the extent to which Oxford continues to rely on large donations from wealthy individuals. There is no doubt that universities rely on philanthropy; this will become ever more the case as central government slashes higher education budgets. As students we benefit from the facilities and teaching that donations allow. The Said Business School, founded with £23 million seed money from Wafic Said, and the Blavatnik School of Government, which with a £75 million gift from the Russian billionaire, will take its inaugural class this year, both enhance the educational opportunities that Oxford offers in competition with other global leaders.

Why then would we wish to restrict big-money donations? Most donors have been well-regarded philanthropists but others, it must be said, have made their money in a less-than-scrupulous fashion. Said made his fortune courtesy of the Saudi Royal family, and achieved notoriety for the Al Yamamah defence contract between BAE and the Saudi Air Force which later led to charges of corruption in a US court. Another benefactor of the school, the Italian industrial giant ENI, has fallen victim to charges of institutional bribery. The dirty money trail has brought the university into disrepute, feeding the perception that Oxford’s dreaming spires are the playthings of oligarchs and klepotocrats.

Why does it matter where the money comes from, as long as it goes to good use? Well we have to recognise that other factors should be considered alongside, and occasionally trump, the amount of money that is being given. Most importantly the University should think about its integrity, which it too often neglects. Philanthropy to renowned educational institutions like Oxford is a classic way for businessmen to legitimise their wealth if its source would otherwise be condemned. If the University takes money from an arms deal then it, and by extension we, wholeheartedly endorse the practice. It’s the same argument that Exeter College provoked earlier this year, when it profited from Christian Concern, a bigoted anti-gay group, using college accommodation over the vacation. The income would have benefitted students, but ultimately they did not want to pay the price of association entailed by accepting the money. The college latterly donated the money to charity. Aren’t the University’s vetting procedures sufficient to filter out dodgy donors and keep the well-intentioned ones? I’d argue that they aren’t, as the Said case shows. When big-money is offered, dollar signs inevitably float about the administrators’ heads, prejudicing the Board’s decision. But the case for a cap is more fundamental. It’s about the character of the institutions we participate in.

Where will it end? If the ‘British Petroleum Oxford Ecological Institute’ and the ‘Roman Abromovich Centre for Management’ taste bitter to you, then it’s because what we value about quality education – its intrinsic merits – are debased by the rotten foundations which underpin them. In the long-term Oxford will be fine, with good facilities and dynamic teaching. What is in danger is our reputation, which can rapidly evaporate. The University is fortunate in its wealth of successful alumni. We should therefore aim for a plurality of small to medium sized donations, allowing us to cap the big ones. Small is beautiful. Let’s make it that way.

Isabelle Westbury: Capping donations is severing a much needed lifeline for our universities

On discussing the topic of wealthy donations to educational institutions, the most immediate concerns that may spring to mind are the occasional less-than-legitimate methods by which some donors acquire their vast fortunes – a topic the popular media love to publicise. However, the most immediate issue here is not the source of these donations, through unscrupulous means or otherwise, but more the amount and whether this should have a limit imposed upon it.

Of course, on receiving donations, the source, reputation and background of that donor should always be taken into account. It will always be a fine line which divides the necessity for donated funds and the morality of the donor contributing said funds. Don’t be misled in believing that this is a matter taken lightly, however. Notwithstanding any unwanted temporary negative publicity, it is firmly in the interest of any university to judge wisely on the donations they receive; not only are the finances at stake, but the reputation and morality of said university also come under scrutiny and can leave a lasting mark – much more damaging than any one-off cash boost. Oxford University has a policy in place whereby they will only “…consider gifts from that donor if the behaviour which led to the donor’s reputation being tarnished has clearly ceased.” Oxford also has many more specific guidelines in place; donations from those “actively working in the tobacco industry”, for example, are not accepted. Few donations towards institutions the world over will be found without their controversies; we must trust that it is in the interests of the university that they have both the integrity and common sense to make the sensible decision.

Back to the real issue, however – the cap. Cuts to higher education dominated last year’s press, with swathes of students protesting against the rise in university fees. Less attention, however, was paid to the reason behind these rises – that universities simply haven’t got the funds to sustain the vital service that they provide. The government’s proposal to curb tax breaks on charitable donations – which encompasses universities – is one of grave concern. The Vice-Chancellors of both Oxford and Cambridge have already written private letters to George Osborne urging him to reconsider his decision, highlighting the extent to which universities rely on large financial donations. The fact that the issue is being handled this far up the ladder at the two leading universities in the UK is a reflection of the gravity of this issue. Of course, the government’s proposals are there for a reason – charitable giving is an effective form of tax avoidance for the wealthy – another issue popular in the current media with the likes of Jimmy Carr’s tax arrangements recently in the spotlight – but it doesn’t mean that this is the right way to go. In the long term, sufficient university funding and development is what will matter to the UK – without it, economic growth will stagnate, and for what reason? For a few rotten-but-incredibly-rich scoundrels to stop avoiding tax by donating to charity, only to use their personally hired accountants to exploit another tax loophole? If it’s not through charitable gifts, there will be new ways found – mark my word.

The culture of university philanthropy and the simple fact that universities now rely on charitable donations far outweighs the need to stop tax avoidance through this one avenue. If it were a trade-off between the two, I know which choice I’d make.