Tuesday 15th July 2025
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Embryonic ideas

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‘The daughter of Virata…[was] exceedingly afflicted by grief on account of the death of her husband…they all feared that the embryo in her womb might be destroyed.’ – The Mahabharata (~500 BC).

This quote from the Mahabharata, and many other examples from literature, reiterate the sentiment that the emotional state of a mother affects her unborn baby. In more recent times researchers have started to meticulously gather scientific evidence to demonstrate how exactly the growth and development of the foetus is detrimentally affected by a variety of intra-uterine stimuli, particularly maternal anxiety, depression and stress.

A study by Glynn and co-workers of the babies of 29 Californian women who were exposed to an earthquake during their pregnancy showed them to have been born at an early gestation, while another study by Engel and co-workers showed that pregnant women who either lived in close proximity to or escaped from one of the Twin Towers in the September 2001 delivered their infants at later dates than normally expected. Interestingly, these effects of stress during pregnancy are not merely limited to birth outcomes. When babies of rodents and rhesus monkeys were exposed to laboratory-induced stressors during pregnancy, they showed deficits in motor development, learning and exploratory behaviour, and had a reduced ability to cope in stressful situations.

Human inquiries undertaken by a variety of research groups in the USA, UK and the Netherlands initially showed anxiety and depression during pregnancy to be associated with adverse birth outcomes, difficult temperament, emotional and behavioural problems and even attention deficit symptoms in their infants. Impairments in cognition such as learning and language abilities were soon added to the spectrum, and some studies even demonstrated that these effects persist into adolescence. Recently, a study from researchers at Cardiff University and King’s College London showed that adolescent children of mothers who were depressed during pregnancy were six times more likely to commit acts of violence, display antisocial behaviour and be arrested. This was found to be independent of their family and social environment. These are just examples of the many research projects undertaken to investigate the adverse effects of prenatal stress on child development.

Interestingly however, findings from studies conducted by DiPetro and colleagues at Johns Hopkins University, U.S.A have shown that mild to moderate amounts of psychological stress during pregnancy can benefit child development. Though these positive effects observed in infant cognition and behaviour are modest, they are consistent findings. Moreover this study presents a convincing argument against the accepted norm that prenatal psychological distress poses a significant threat to child development.

The ‘thrifty phenotype’ hypothesis proposed by Prof D. J. P. Barker seeks to explain the developmental origins of health and disease. It predicts that restrictions on the growth of the foetus within the womb are responsible for a higher incidence of heart disease and type 2 diabetes. It has been seen that undernutrition during foetal growth results in permanent metabolic and endocrine changes which will be beneficial if nutrition remains scarce after birth—but, if after birth food becomes plentiful, then these changes predispose to obesity and impaired glucose tolerance. Simply put, this response attempts to prepare the developing offspring for the particular environment in which it will find itself after birth.

It is interesting to note however that all these studies on foetal and infant development have originated in the western world, where high levels of nutrition, education and socioeconomic well-being are seen in the study participants and where, more importantly, only 11% of all annual global pregnancies occur. The remaining 89% of global pregnancies occur in the developing world; some 146 million births annually.

To bridge this divide, Dr Michelle Fernandes, a DPhil candidate at the Department of Psychiatry, University of Oxford, designed the Solur Mother and Baby Project. This study was carried out in Solur, a village in rural South India (60 miles from the city of Bangalore) in collaboration with St John’s Medical College Hospital, Bangalore and Snehalaya Hospital, Solur. The study runs in three phases—a prenatal, birth and postnatal phase. With both the nature and magnitude of psychosocial stressors being different from those of the western world, Dr Fernandes is currently investigating foetal heart rate patterns, birth outcomes and infant growth, temperament and stress responsivity.

Studies like these that demonstrate just how much is decided before we are born. And more so, they reveal the urgent need to reduce the incidence of stress and other psychological problems in current populations, not only for the sake of those affected now, but also for the sake of the generations to come.

akshatrathi.wordpress.com

Going Negative

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L’enfer c’est les autres; so wrote Satre in Huis-clos. It’s not clear whether Satre had ever been involved close up with a UK election campaign, but the sentiment is one that will have been shared by many people involved in the political process. Whether it’s the opposition or your own side, it sometimes all gets too much. No more nauseating is the needless tribalism where supporting a party becomes more of a label of belonging than any kind of label that possesses meaning or understanding.

The most evident sign of this tribalism was the decision by both parties to go negative this week. The Tories attracted a significant amount of ire with a Tombstone Poster based around a Labour policy that, well… isn’t a Labour policy. Labour retaliated in kind with a pun on Cameron’s name. Seriously witty stuff then.

‘one of the last things we were good at as a country was emotional repression’

The thing is, we’re still an age away from the likely election date of May 6th. If I, a Parliamentary Candidate, am finding the campaign tedious and a turn off I dread to think what the man in the street makes of all this. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Valentine’s day will see the edifying spectacle of the Prime Minister crying on TV. I mean, Christ on stilts, that kind of thing might fly on the continent  but this is Britain; one of the last things we were good at as a country was emotional repression. Yet since Diana died, it seems acceptable for people to air their feelings in public. Well, I’m saying this now; it’s not.

Brown’s blarting has also attracted a fair degree of cynicism. Here we have a man who was previously so guarded about his private life deciding to go on TV and answer questions about whether he’s ever had sex on a plane in the run up to an election he’s expected to lose. That the PM’s loss of a child was not heart-breaking nor his grief genuine is not the issue- whether it will fundamentally affect people’s judgment of Gordon Brown as Prime Minister seems unlikely.

If the campaign didn’t provide excitement enough, this week has seen two text-book examples of barmy policy suggestions. Firstly, ‘The Spirit Level,’ a book about inequality, was reissued. Amongst other things, this is a book that says that rather than being a hierarchical society, like chimpanzees, we should in fact learn from another primate society and ape (sorry) the supportive behavior of bonobos. However, as one reviewer unhelpfully pointed out, bonobos are incredibly stupid animals (vis-à-vis chimps at any rate) that spend a great deal of their time masturbating. As if that wasn’t enough, the New Economics Foundation published a report suggesting we all work a 21 hour week. We wouldn’t get paid any more (in fact, the reality is we’d get paid a whole lot less) so what we’re supposed to do with so much extra time on our hands is unclear; perhaps the bonobos have the right idea after all…

Oh Trinity!

Ball: Exeter

Date: 24th April 2010
Theme: Egyptian
Price: £55
Verdict: Although I’m not sure I like the idea of being “lured to the dancefloor by a snake charmer”, this ball looks like it will be a truly exotic occasion, boasting a bazaar, shisha den, Bucking Camel, mountains of food, and even a coconut shy, all for a very reasonable ticket price. In terms of music, Oxford University Big Band

, Out of the Blue and a silent disco will do the job very nicely. You’ll find me in one of the Bedouin tents.

Ball: Hertford
Date: 24th April 2010
Theme: Gala of the Gods
Price: £55
Verdict:For one night only, you will be transported to Ancient Greece. Well, you probably won’t, but there will be waiters dressed in togas and long false beards to make you believe you have. Hertford’s ball will be held in the Union Gardens, and will feature standard ball fare: a photo booth, Grecian feast, silent disco, and cocktails from “the legendary Hertford Bar”.

Ball: Corpus Christi 
Date: 30th April 2010
Theme: Medieval Ball
Price: £50
Verdict: I am slightly relieved that the Corpus Ball is in fact a black-tie event and does not demand medieval dress, yet it still looks set to provide entertainment in such diverse forms as a ‘Medieval Battle’ and ‘Inflatable Jousting’. For those of you who don’t wish to pose for photos in the stocks, there will be dancing accompanied by period instruments, unlimited medieval-themed cocktails, and a hog-roast to indulge in (although the “vegetarian patties” sound a little less appetising). Most excitingly, sweet treats will be provided by the glorious Patisserie Valerie. Sounds like a good and relatively inexpensive way to spend May Day if you can cope with the naff theme.

Ball: LMH
Date:30th April 2010
Theme: Arcadia
Price: £130 (dining) £90 (non-dining)
Verdict: Once you’ve battled through the website for this ball, you’ll find the challenge was worth it – LMH promises a “pastoral utopia”, which will somehow incorporate a Ferris Wheel and some of the UK’s top DJ talent. A three-course meal will be provided for those with a dining ticket, but food ranging from a Hog Roast to oysters will be available for those coming later. Champagne and G&Ts will be the drinks of the evening, followed by hot spiced cider to warm up early-morning revellers.

Ball: St Hilda’s
Date:1st May 2010
Theme: Made in Manhattan
Price: £55 (dining)
Verdict: With the ever-present risk of their ball descending into an overpriced excuse for a jazz evening, Hilda’s will have to be ambitious in order to truly pull of a Manhattan feel. While their website is full of the poetry and cliché about the ‘city that never sleeps’ it will be interesting to see how they recreate the New York ambience come May. If they can pull it off then it will be a classy event but there’s a thin line between glamour and tawdry. However, at £55 including dinner, it may be worth the gamble.

Ball: Teddy Hall
Date:1st May 2010
Theme: The Eastern Promise
Price: £85
Verdict:The Teddy Hall ball hopes to immerse you with an Eastern haze of shisha with all sorts of entertainment on offer, ranging from novelty acts like snake charmers and belly dancers to the headline DJ set by Pendulum. It should be a luxurious evening with Persian rugs to lie upon while either drinking a variety of cocktails or oriental teas in what their website describes as a ‘verdant desert oasis’. Lush.

Ball: Balliol – CANCELLED
Date: 8th May 2010
Theme: Speakeasy
Price: £70
Verdict: One wonders quite how, after last year’s disastrous attempt, Balliol could quite have the stomach to put on yet another ball. Going for a theme nearly identical to Queen’s is a bit of a mistake, but they have managed to bag DJ Yoda. Maybe it is unfair to judge a ball by its predecessor, but given that last year the alcohol ran out at midnight, maybe the prohibition era theme is appropriate. Fingers crossed Balliol can show, this time around, the quirky spirit for which they are famous.

Ball: Keble
Date: 8th May 2010
Theme: The Alchemist’s Ball
Price: £70
Verdict: Gold and eternal youth are the buzz-words of this original theme. Intriguingly titled highlights include a pampering ‘Purification Room’ and a ‘Gold Room’ casino. Check out their seriously impressive website. Live music and comedy are promised, as is a silent disco. Will Keble have the Midas touch? Let’s hope so.

Ball: Lincoln
Date:8th May 2010
Theme: Carnevale di Venezia
Price: £75(non-dining) £110 (dining)
Verdict: Lincoln’s masked ball looks to be a classy occasion. The carnival atmosphere is captured by jugglers, fortune tellers and magicians. Dinner includes a three-course meal in Lincoln’s Hall. Showcasing the best of Italy and served by masked waiters, a pizza, ‘caffe’, and scoopfuls of G and D’s ‘gelato’ complete the night. The ball is also notable for its links with the Venice in Peril Fund, which aims to preserve the magical but environentally unsound city. Money raised from the ball will help them with their vital work.

Ball: Somerville-Jesus
Date: 8th May 2010
Theme: The Paparazzi Ball (holding out for Lady Gaga, are they?)
Price: £95
Verdict: Hoping to live up the success of 2007 when it topped a Cherwell/OxStu Poll, the Somerville-Jesus Ball is allegedly going to be an ultra-glamorous affair, though their website has a little bit too much neon and Vegas imagery for me to believe this. VIP guests remain top secret. Celebrity themed, complete with red carpet, casino and 3D disco, the triennial ball wants to make the A-List of summer balls, but must work hard to avoid being more Now than Tatler.

Ball: St. Hugh’s
Date: 8th May 2010
Theme: The Secret Garden
Price: £85
Verdict: Cleverly using their greatest asset (the enormous gardens) as the ball’s theme, Hugh’s has a lot of room to being doing some fantastic stuff. Billing itself as “a commemoration ball without the price tag” they are planning on going all out with Victorian decadence. So far the website tells of a steam train, a massage parlour and morning tea on the patio, and rumours about alumni Hot Chip playing suggest that this ball could be well worth the visit to North Oxford. Hugh’s also claims to be hosting the first environmentally-conscious ball, which ties in with the garden theme, though the steam train perhaps doesn’t.

Ball: The Queen’s College 
Date: 25th June 2010
Theme: ‘Tender is the Night’ – Prohibiton Era
Price: £100
Verdict: As it is, the website is not giving much away, apart from a rather pretentious quote from Keats – a connection to the theme which only English scholars might deduce. However, at the higher end of the price range one should hope for great things. The fact that their 2004 ball was notable for the presence of Chesney Hawkes, however, doesn’t fill us with confidence.

Ball: Wadham Quadricentenary
Date:26th June 2010
Theme: –
Price: £120 Non-dining
Verdict: Unsurprisingly the theme is quadricentenary so there will be plenty of references to Wadham’s history and tradition. Eager to not put on a tacky or faux-posh event, Wadham have gone for a more alternative ball with two stages of live music which will feature DJs, bands and acoustic sets. They will also be embracing the best of traditional British cuisine with pies and bangers and mash both featuring. It looks as though Wadham will be doing everything possible to ensure that this is a successful commemoration, while maintaining a classicly Wadhamite “alternative” twist.

Ball: New College Commemoration Ball
Date: 26th June 2010
Theme: The Cave of the Golden Calf
Price: £195 Dining
Verdict: This is the big one. Unlike Magdalen, who held the Commemoration Ball last year, New have decided to go with a theme. The name is not picked out of the Indiana Jones reject pile, but a reference to an upper class London nightclub of the early twentieth century, suggesting an attempt at Wilde-esque bohemian decadence. Although little to no information has been given out as of yet, and even our spies in New are keep tight-lipped, I think it is fair to say beg, borrow or steal a ticket; it’s going to be huge.

Ball: Green Templeton College
Date: 19th June (Sat of 8th week)
Theme: Diamonds are Forever
Price: £150 (“VIP”) £75 (regular)
Verdict: Bond? A bit of an obvious theme and one that’s resulted in a gun and bullets providing the backgroud to their website (actally quite an informative one), but at least GTC are making a big effort. They’re going to have to work extremly hard to pull off their promise of recreating the romance of all the iconic 007 scenes, from an ice palace to the tropics, and a full casino. I only hope the “Octopussy” circus tent is better than the film. Their License to Kill zone offers laser shooting, racing and a sit-in helicopter simulator – sounds like fun if your attire is sufficiently… practical. I suppose the gorgeous Radcliffe Observatory is worthy of a film theme, and Saturday of 8th week is a good date to party.

Magdalen make LMH Waite in Cuppers

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On a cold Tuesday afternoon, Magdalen took on Lady Margaret Hall in the second round of this year’s College Rugby Cuppers competition. Going into the game Magdalen, who this season narrowly avoided relegation from the college premier division, were narrow favourites against a revitalised LMH team who at the end of the season won promotion to the rugby second division. In the end the pundits were proved right and the strong Magdalen outfit came out on top. The passionate LMH team failing to progress any further in the competition, going down 26-5.

The early exchanges of the match were riddled with errors as both teams created good opportunities but then wasted them with knock-ons or by giving away cheap turnovers. Indeed, with ten minutes gone on the clock, the Magdalen winger Andy Johnson found himself only inches away from opening the scoring but knocked the ball on after a fairly tame tackle against him.
Magdalen then began to pile the pressure on LMH with their fly half, Henry Waite, causing a number of problems for the LMH defence with great kicking and quick passing. Yet the LMH defence seemed to be holding strong, with their forwards definitely winning the physical battle; with strong hand-offs from the number 8 Andrew Joseph frequently giving LMH an attacking platform and with a number of turnovers in the line-outs and scrums going to LMH. After another good scrum by LMH inside their own twenty-two, the Magdalen flanker went for an optimistic run to the try line. With three unlikely missed tackles from the LMH defence, the flanker touched-down for the first try of the game. An excellent conversion by Waite then gave Magdalen a 7-0 lead.

‘With LMH dropping their heads, Magdalen put the result beyond doubt’

This was how the score stayed for the rest of the first half, but the half-time team talks both captains must have been talking of victory and battling to a hard earned place in the next round. After only one minute of the second half, however, LMH found themselves 14-0 down. After a good kick-off, the LMH number 8 Joseph, dropped his attempted catch and, from the resulting Magdalen scrum, Waite played an excellent pass to give his side an overlap out wide. This left the centre Charles Bailey to touch down in the corner and extend his team’s lead. Then, forced to drop kick his conversions due to the lack of a kicking tee, Waite sublimely secured the extra two points with a fantastic drop kick through the middle of the sticks.

With LMH dropping their heads, Magdalen then began to pile on the pressure and put the result beyond doubt. After another good kick from Waite pinned LMH in their own twenty-two the pressure mounted; three lineouts in quick succession meant Magdalen threatened to once again break through the LMH defence. This they did, when the large lock Nick Jacques battered his way through two tackles to score his team’s third try despite a big hit from LMH hooker Ibbetson- Price on the try line. Waite then extended his side’s lead with another great drop kick conversion, making it 21-0.

With victory for Magdalen seemingly a foregone conclusion, their standard of rugby went up a level and they began to punish their opponents. After a great kick from Waite actually hit the corner flag, Magdalen pinned LMH in their twenty-two again. From a good turnover by the Magdalen forwards, the backs then spread the ball wide with a lovely move, allowing the winger Johnson to score a fourth try. So with only twenty minutes gone in the second half, Magdalen had assured their place in the quarter finals of cuppers.

However, determined to avoid a whitewash, LMH began pushing their opponents back in search of some sort of consolation. This consolation came with the last move of the game when their huge lock Chris Sandom thundered through the Magdalen defence to score. It was nothing less than LMH deserved and it was fitting that it was a forward who got the try, for the LMH pack had worked tirelessly all game and often seemed superior to their opposite numbers. In the end, however, the superior talent in the Magdalen backs proved decisive and sent Magdalen through to the quarter finals.

A sporting charity

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Right To Play (RTP) is one of the largest children’s charities in the world. Its mission is to improve children’s lives in some of the most disadvantaged areas of the world by using the power of sport. The charity as a whole was founded as part of the Albertville Winter Olympics in 1992, originally called Olympic Aid, but Oxford’s Right To Play (ORTP) was set up at the end of Trinity 2009 with the aim of raising funds and awareness for RTP within the University. It has since grown to become an official university student society.

RTP trains local community leaders as coaches to use sport and play as learning tools in four specific areas: RTP’s sport and play programmes foster child development and teach important values and life skills; the programmes are used to educate and mobilise communities around health and disease issues, such as HIV, malaria and the importance of immunisation; conflict resolution and reintegration is managed by participation of divided communities and, finally, infrastructure is developed in partnership with local organisations.

So far ORTP have organised the Night To Play mass crew date, and another is planned for next term. This term Right To Play are also working with another Oxford student society, Running Across Borders, to organise a fun run/sports day aimed at schoolchildren from across Oxfordshire. Furthermore, in 8th week, ORTP will be supporting the OU Cross Country Club’s annual Teddy Hall Relays. With the relay changeovers taking place on the historic Roger Bannister Track at Iffley road (home of the first sub-four minute mile), and along a scenic 3.6 mile course that winds though Christ Church meadows and down the river.

‘RTP’s programmes teach important values and life skills’

Teddy Hall Relays is an event going from strength to strength every year. Last year there were over one thousand competitors representing universities nationwide as well as teams from university and college sports clubs, boat clubs, university departments and simply college friends. Whilst competition at the front is always fierce, for many years the Teddy Hall Relay has been a race that can be enjoyed by all.

The 2010 race takes place on Wednesday of 8th week and RTP will be assisting in the organisation by providing marshals and helpers on the day. RTP teams from Oxford and other RTP groups across the country will also be battling it out on the course. Supporting the Teddy Hall Relays, especially by volunteering to be a RTP marshal for a couple of hours is a simple way to help out the charity and contribute to a great cause (while you can still compete).

If you want to get involved with a charity during your time at Oxford, and are passionate about sport, Right To Play is well worth a look. All the members of the committee are RTP ‘student ambassadors’ and receive plenty of support from RTP UK’s university partnership team. Alternatively, nominate Right to Play to receive RAG funds from your college.

Unsung Hero: Sports Fed President

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The president of the OU Sports Federation represents a hugely important role, but one which too few people seem to know very much about. Nominations for the next president will close on Tuesday, when candidates who have acquired 10 signatures of approval will begin their campaigns for the prestigious position. As incumbent Ruth Holmes explains, ‘the president is always a recent graduate; the process is similar to the OUSU presidency, except the electorate is comprised of people only from Oxford’s sporting community.’

The position is predominantly ambassadorial, providing an important link between the university’s governing body and its students: ‘My responsibilities are varied; I’m in control of some very serious issues, such as deciding how the annual block grant is divided among our registered sports clubs. There are also some interesting things that you might not expect; for example, I ensure that our sports kit deal with Canterbury is maintained, and I organise the distribution of cheap tickets to sports students for Wednesday night Park End.’

Holmes has thoroughly enjoyed her time in the post so far, a tenure that runs from June 2009 to June 2010. ‘I sit on lots of committees, and it’s great to be so involved with improving sport at Oxford and providing a voice for such a vibrant and talented athletic community.’ Other duties include overseeing the publication of the sports Annual Review, (a recap of the year that is distributed to over 20,000 alumni) and organising the Varsity Games, a series of 20 indoor sports that will take place at Iffley Road this year.

Holmes is a former physiology student from Catz; she plays Blues hockey, something which her sabbatical stint as president has allowed her to continue. She says that any eligible sportsperson should consider applying; the elections provide no platform for hacking, and are not popularity contests: ‘All nominees are invited to speak before a selection committee and an audience of around 200 students and coaches involved in Oxford University sport. This will take place on Thursday of 6th week, one week after nominations close.’

Based upon her own success and enjoyment, Ruth Holmes encourages anyone to apply for the position of Sports Fed President for 2010/11.

The Pro: Amy Ellis-Thompson

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It is said that every person has the right to choose which path they take through life. For Amy Ellis-Thompson, she has chosen to take “The Way of Gentleness.”

Ellis-Thompson, a black belt and soon to be a Blue in Judo, wants to alter the common perception of a sport that requires the same level of dedication, training and fitness as any other. Training four to five times a week not only reflects her dedication but underlines her love for a sport which she first embraced at the age of 10. A first-year at St. Peter’s, she is one of only a few undergraduates in what is a group predominantly made up of post-graduates, students from Oxford Brookes and the city. Furthermore, she is unique in being the only member of the team to study a humanity – English – while the rest of the side, interestingly, specialise in science-based subjects.

It is clear to see that Ellis-Thompson has embraced the principles laid down by the founding father of Judo, Jigoro Kano: that of a means for governing and improving oneself physically, mentally, emotionally and morally. The world of Judo has not only given her a renewed sense of determination but confidence which stems from the fantastic support base around her. The Oxford Judo Club was nominated for Club of the Year in 2008, she cites the “great team atmosphere” that holds the team together as a crucial factor in helping to instil a belief in each and every fighter – a belief which they can take with them to every fight.

Ellis-Thompson begrudgingly admits that Judo does not sustain a high profile in England like it does in a host of other European countries. When reflecting upon her recent participation in a Judo event staged in Paris, she talks of “the great atmosphere” and the thrill of competing in front of hundreds of people who have found a great deal of affection for this sport. It may have been a nerve-racking experience for her but one which will live long in her memory.

As for the immediate future, her focus is very much on the Varsity Match on 27th February in the Oxford Town Hall, a competition which Oxford has won for a remarkable eight years on the trot. With passionate people like Ellis-Thompson in the world of Judo, the sport can only be heading in a positive direction and if she sticks by her pledge to “do it as long as I’m a pensioner,” we’ll be sure to hear a lot more about her in years to come.

Dodge, duck, dip, dive…

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If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. No words could sum up the OUSU Dodgeball tournament better. Dodgeball isn’t a mainstream sport, I’m sure most people have never even seen a proper dodgeball match beyond the legendary setting of Average Joes’ Gym. But it’s a game of skill, tactics, composure, and downright determination. You have to dodge, duck, dip and dive your way to victory. And thanks to excellent organisation by Daniel Laue, plenty of money was raised for charity.

St Catz C team came out on top this year, breaking the previous stronghold of the dodgeball champions Teddy Hall. C team by name only, a technical flaw in the proceedings meant the team that entered first was the A team even though they weren’t their best players. The early group stages were dominated by quick one sided games as the seeded teams took out the wildcards without losing players, a result that is often referred to in the dodgeball arena as a ‘whitewash’. The group stages ended with little controversy as the big sides progressed to the business end of the day, though it wasn’t without its spectacular moments. An unknown lone player pulled out a spectacular double dodge, splitting the two incoming missiles like unwashed and unconditioned hair, to pick up the dodge of the day award.

So the quarters progressed, and a series of strong performances by men with handlebar moustaches meant St Catz took away the victory, and restored pride to the college. But it was the Christ Church teams that initially broke up the Teddy Hall contingency. Christ Church A took out the Teddy Hall C team in the pools, but lost in a quarter final rematch. The House B team made it all the way to the final with some excellent tactical dodgeball, spearheaded by new boy Mark Rambotinitowski.

Initially it was Teddy Hall B ousted in the quarter final courtesy of an outrageously athletic diving catch by Ben Anderson, and then it was farewell to Teddy Hall A after a thrilling and controversial semi final ended in a one vs. one final showdown. It’s a metaphor, but that actually happened. However, St Catz, after sweeping past St John’s and Teddy Hall C in the quarters and semis respectively, took them down at the final hurdle, turning around the loss inflicted on them by the same team in the earlier group stages.

The final came down to the wire, with early initial tame exchanges. But slowly both teams were worn down to 2 apiece, and with Catz making an excellent catch it was suddenly 3 on 1. Christ Church Man of the Match Bob Hector needed to make a vital catch against 3 opponents to keep their hopes alive. He dodged the first, then went for it. It stuck in his giant mitts, it was back to 2 on 2, and Christ Church smelled victory in the air. Another successful catch would have swung it beyond reach for either side, and Christ Church made the first move. A dive to the side for a fast swerving ball, but it was too good. Bob once again had to save the match, but twice was too much. Catz teamed up and sent in 2 bullets to knock the big man down and to knock Christ Church out.

Christ Church B captain Tom Morris comments ‘At the end of the day, we beat Teddy Hall. Pub?’ The wooden spoon went to Brasenose; it really was like watching ‘a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.’ (The film’s words, not mine!) Patches O’Hoolahan was not available for comment.

Ch-Champions in the making

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In the Premier Division’s most important fixture of the season so far, dominant Christ Church breezed past Catz, 4-1, to move 6 points clear at the top of the table. The leaders began the game at a furiously ruthless pace, never allowing 2nd placed Catz a foothold in the contest. Before kick-off, only 3 points had separated the teams, and Catz, playing at home, hoped to get their claws back into the title race here.

But ChCh had other ideas from the first minutes of the clash; their defenders won every early ball, and the midfield took control of the game within the opening quarter of an hour. It was their devastating attack, though, led by league top-scorer Mark Michaelides (who now has 10 goals from 11 games) and his strike partner Alec Ward, that tormented Catz all afternoon. Michaelides scored after 10 minutes, arrowing a low volley into the corner of the net: Catz were stunned to fall behind so quickly, and it took them some time before they rediscovered their usual rhythm and measured passing approach.

‘Before the game, only 3 points separated the teams’

The away side’s celebrations underlined their intent; they knew that victory on the pitch of their closest rivals would be huge in the wider context of the Premier Division championship.

Christ Church settled into the game much more comfortably, spraying the ball around and threatening the Catz defence with almost every possession. The second goal was thoroughly deserved: a dangerous inswinging corner caused all sorts of confusion in the box- the ball eventually cannoned off the head of an unfortunate Catz defender, flying past his rooted goalkeeper and doubling ChCh’s lead.

‘Chch settled into the game much more comfortably’

The game was becoming increasingly one-sided, but Catz showed some signs of making it a real contest, particularly in the second half. The hard work of Carl Assmundson went largely unrewarded, though the centre-forward ran tirelessly and had some excellent moments of skill on the ball. Catz have scored plenty of goals this season, but few defences are as resilient and uncompromising as the Christ Church back four: Catz were rarely penetrating from open play, and never managed to engineer a genuine chance to score, instead being restricted to a few speculative shots from long-range.
3-0 came before the break: Alec Ward picked up the ball midway into the Catz half, striding forwards, unchallenged, before unleashing a crisp left-footed strike into the bottom corner.

The half-time whistle could not come soon enough for Catz: the first period of such a crucial match had been painful watching for the throngs of home fans lining the field. The team responded positively to their difficult deficit, however, dominating the opening exchanges of the second half.

Catz deserved their goal, though it arrived fortuitously: Alan MacNaughton’s long, looping free-kick from 40 yards out dropped awkwardly in the Christ Church box: the keeper failed to clear, and a waiting pair of Catz pounced upon the loose ball inside the 6-yard box.

At 3-1, Catz had given themselves a glimmer of hope: even a draw would have suited Christ Church much more favourably, but the home side were forced to press forwards in search of vital goals. As has been the case all season, Christ Church’s midfield protected their defence staunchly; Richard Bath and Ben White broke up attacks again and again, frustrating a rejuvenated Catz offense.

The hammer blow was delivered with 15 minutes remaining: a wonderful free-flowing move culminated in Ward’s pinpoint cross, which was met by the rocket-header of Michaelides. The final ten minutes were easily seen out by the league leaders. Catz, led by their captain Peter Kiln, cannot be counted out of the hunt just yet though.

Christ Church captain Kamran Adle was delighted with his team’s performance: ‘All 11 men were great, as we have been all season long. We deserve to be in this position, challenging for the title. It is ours to throw away now.’
With 5 games remaining and a 6 point lead, Christ Church still face some difficult games: they must play 3rd placed Teddy Hall away from home, and Magdalen are one of the league’s most erratic and enigmatic teams. Barring collapse, ChCh can claim the college’s first football championship in over two decades: with this impressive result, they are in touching distance of the trophy.

 

Analysis: Binge Oxford

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What is it that is most wrong with Oxford? To many, the image of Cameron and Johnson in Bullingdon tails springs to mind. It tells of a place where people can do and act how they please, simply because they can get away with it. Yet why is that group in particular given pariah status? At least they have the decency to sing a cheque for damages at the end.

Look into the future a few years, and it is not hard to imagine that everyone running for a position of power will be confronted with some “falling-out-of-a-club-lol-lmao-rofl-xoxo-;)-nice one!” photo floating around the public domain thanks to various social networking sights (cue: major hack detagging session). Whilst mildly embarrassing, I am sure that it will shrugged off – and successfully at that – with the excuse of youth. But although I can believe that age and a desire for a night in Park End are inversely proportional, other characteristics displayed by students in their drunken antics are ones that are far more unpleasant, and far harder to shake off with age.

One that is particularly noticeable is the immense drunken selfishness displayed by students. The coffers of the local NHS trust are far from unlimited, and yet there seems the assumption that because it is free and available one should make use of it; a friend of mine, after a sly alcohol/mephedrone binge, feeling heart palpitations, got an ambulance from St Giles because he couldn’t be bothered to explain to the paramedics how to get to his college. Some emergency, and he’s not even a UK taxpayer.

Also, without wanting to sound horrendously snobby, you have to think of our reputation as one of the world’s leading universities. Whilst not wanting to argue that having fun and eventually becoming a world leader in some field have to be mutually exclusive, often it really isn’t fun that is being had. Alcohol related violence and sexual assault seem to occur far too often for comfort amongst us, some of the most educated and, more importantly, privileged members of society.

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend that went as follows (and I promise my conversations aren’t always this inane), “Would you rather kill your parents or blow up Bridge on a Thursday night” “Blow up Bridge, obv.” “So you’d be happy to deprive the world of some of its most able?” “Hmmm…” Well, from my experience clubbing last night, I’d blow up Bridge (myself included) every single time.