What's on in the coming week…Friday 22ndFilm
Be Kind Rewind (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
The Big Lebowski (18) Ultimate Picture Palace 2330
The Bucket List (12A) Odeon George St. 1245, 1815
Cloverfield (15) Odeon George St. 1430, 1645, 1900, 2115
Definitely Maybe (12A) Odeon George St. 1415, 1715, 2015
I’m Not There (15) Ultimate Picture Palace 2045
Jumper (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
Juno (12A) Odeon George St 1330, 1600, 1830, 2100 The Kite Runner (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 1800
My Blueberry Nights (12A) Phoenix Picture House 1300, 1500, 1700, 1900, 2110
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (PG) Odeon George St. 1115, 1400, 1700, 2000
No Country for Old Men (15) Odeon Magdalen St. 1400, 1700, 2000
Penelope (U) Odeon George St 1145
Sweeney Todd (18) Odeon George St. 1500, 2045
There Will Be Blood (15) Phoenix 1345, 1700, 2015
The Water Horse (PG) Odeon George St 1200
Music
The 1810 Generation Mendelssohn, Chopin, Schumann, Liszt J du P 2000
Tenebrae Facyae Sunt The Marian Consort New College Chapel 2030
OU String Ensemble Elgar, Mozart, Howells, Dowland Wesley Memorial Church 2000
The Allegri String Quartet Mozart, Britten, Beethoven Holywell Music Room 2000
Nouvelle Vague New Wave Zodiac 1830
Get Cape Wear Cape Fly & Emmy the Great Folk Academy 1830
Fuse featuring Audio Bullys Zodiac 1930
Alvin Roy Swing/jazz Old Orleans Bar 2030
D-Blockers Music Wheatsheaf 2000
South Central Heroes Punk/metal Jericho Tavern 2000
Vatican Cellars Folk/country QI 2000
Stage
Madama Butterfly Puccini New Theatre 1930
The Night of the Iguana O’Reilly, Keble 1930
Now and Only OUDS New Writing Festival Burton Taylor 2130
Patience Gilbert & Sullivan Merton College Chapel 1930
Quills OFS 1930
Spies Frayn Playhouse 2000
Three Sons OUDS New Writing Festival Burton Taylor 1930
‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore Moser Theatre, Wadham 1930
Turn of the Screw Oxford Opera Company Hertford College Chapel 2000
Other
Cockerell’s Ashmolean Lunchtime gallery talk Randolph Gallery, Ashmolean 1315
The Boer War: Letters of a Great Uncle Cecillie Swaisland Okinaga Rm, Wadham 2000

Saturday 23rd
Film
Be Kind Rewind (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
The Big Lebowski (18) Ultimate Picture Palace 2330
The Bucket List (12A) Odeon George St. 1245, 1815
Cloverfield (15) Odeon George St. 1430, 1645, 1900, 2115
Definitely Maybe (12A) Odeon George St. 1415, 1715, 2015
Future Shorts (12A) Phoenix Picture House 2330
Jumper (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
Juno (12A) Odeon George St 1330, 1600, 1830, 2100 The Kite Runner (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 1545, 2100
My Blueberry Nights (12A) Phoenix Picture House 1515, 1715, 1915, 2125
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (PG) Odeon George St. 1115, 1400, 1700, 2000
No Country for Old Men (15) Odeon Magdalen St. 1400, 1700, 2000
Penelope (U) Odeon George St 1145
Sigur Ros: Heima (15) Phoenix Picture House 1130
Sweeney Todd (18) Odeon George St. 1500, 2045
There Will Be Blood (15) Phoenix 1345, 1700, 2015
The Water Horse (PG) Odeon George St 1200
Music
Queen’s College Recital Queen’s College Chapel 1315
A Concert of 8s with OMO Schubert, Dvorak Sheldonian 2000
Ralph Vaughan Williams OSO High Sheriff of Oxfordshire’s Concert Merton College Chapel 1930
Oxford Music Network Oxford Lieder Holywell Music Room 2000
The Allegri String Quartet Brahms Holywell Music Room 1230
OU Wind Orchestra Maslanka, Whitacre, Tichell University Church of St Mary 2000
Dolittle Music Wheatsheaf 2000
The Long Insiders Pop/rock Jericho Tavern 2030
Dog Show Electro Cellar 2000
Vampire Weekend Indie/afrobeat pioneers Zodiac 1930
The Kooks Sold out (in all senses) Academy 1900
Stage
A Couple of Cold Ones OUDS New Writing Festival Burton Taylor 2130
Madama Butterfly Puccini New Theatre 1930
The Night of the Iguana O’Reilly, Keble 1530, 1930
Now and Only OUDS New Writing Festival Burton Taylor 1630
Patience Gilbert & Sullivan Merton College Chapel 1430, 1930
Quills OFS 1430, 1930
Spies Frayn Playhouse 1430, 2000
Three Sons OUDS New Writing Festival Burton Taylor 1430
‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore Moser Theatre, Wadham 1930
Tom’s a-cold OUDS New Writing Festival Burton Taylor 1930 Sunday 24th Film
Azur & Asmar: The Princes’ Quest (U) Phoenix Picture House 1100, 1430
Be Kind Rewind (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
The Big Lebowski (18) Ultimate Picture Palace 1100
The Bucket List (12A) Odeon George St. 1245, 1815
Cloverfield (15) Odeon George St. 1430, 1645, 1900, 2115
Definitely Maybe (12A) Odeon George St. 1415, 1715, 2015
I’m Not There (15) Ultimate Picture Palace 2015
Jumper (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
Juno (12A) Odeon George St 1330, 1600, 1830, 2100
Kings of the Road (15) Phoenix Picture House 1100
The Kite Runner (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 1730
My Blueberry Nights (12A) Phoenix Picture House 1300, 1500, 1700, 1900, 2110
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (PG) Odeon George St. 1115, 1400, 1700, 2000
No Country for Old Men (15) Odeon Magdalen St. 1400, 1700, 2000
Penelope (U) Odeon George St 1145
Sweeney Todd (18) Odeon George St. 1500, 2045
There Will Be Blood (15) Phoenix 1700, 2015
Three Colours: Red (15) Ultimate Picture Palace 1515
The Water Horse (PG) Odeon George St 1200
Music
Sacconi & Navara String Quartets Brahms, Mendelssohn Holywell Music Room 1115
Electric Six Take me to the… Academy 1900
David Gray Singer/songwriter New Theatre 1900
Go Faster Jericho Tavern 2000
Baby Gravy Alt. Punk Purple Turtle 2100
Stage
The Ministry of Mirth Wheatsheaf 2000
Frühlings Erwachen in German Moser Theatre, Wadham 1700
Other
God: Reality or Delusion? Christian Science Church 1400

Monday 25th

Film
Be Kind Rewind (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
The Big Lebowski (18) Ultimate Picture Palace 2300
The Bucket List (12A) Odeon George St. 1245, 1815
Cloverfield (15) Odeon George St. 1430, 1645, 1900, 2115
Definitely Maybe (12A) Odeon George St. 1415, 1715, 2015
Jumper (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
Juno (12A) Odeon George St 1330, 1600, 1830, 2100
The Kite Runner (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 1600
My Blueberry Nights (12A) Phoenix Picture House 1300, 1500, 1700, 1900, 2110
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (PG) Odeon George St. 1400, 1700, 2000
No Country for Old Men (15) Odeon Magdalen St. 1400, 1700, 2000
Sweeney Todd (18) Odeon George St. 1500, 2045
There Will Be Blood (15) Phoenix 1345, 1700, 2015
Three Colours: Red (15) Ultimate Picture Palace 1900, 2100
Music
The Oxford Gargoyles Fundraising J du P 2000
Klaxons Day-glo annoyance-pop Academy 1930
Stage
The Oxford Imps Improvised comedy. Wheatsheaf 2000
Free Beer Show Norman Lovett Cellar Bar 2115
Spies Frayn Playhouse 1930
La Voix humaine & Le Livre blanc Telephonic opera Merton College Chapel 2030

Tuesday 26th

Film
Be Kind Rewind (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
The Bucket List (12A) Odeon George St. 1245, 1815
Cloverfield (15) Odeon George St. 1430, 1645, 1900, 2115
Definitely Maybe (12A) Odeon George St. 1415, 1715, 2015
In the Shadow of the Moon (U) Odeon Magdalen St. 2000
Jumper (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
Juno (12A) Odeon George St 1330, 1600, 1830, 2100
The Kite Runner (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 1800
My Blueberry Nights (12A) Phoenix Picture House 1300, 1500, 1700, 1900, 2110
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (PG) Odeon George St. 1400, 1700, 2000
No Country for Old Men (15) Odeon Magdalen St. 1400, 1700, 2000
Rescue Dawn (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 2100
Sweeney Todd (18) Odeon George St. 1500, 2045
There Will Be Blood (15) Phoenix 1345, 1700, 2015
Music
Reel Big Fish Ska legends Academy 1900
Stage
Debris Burton Taylor 1930
Dolores Wears the Stares Burton Taylor 2130
Frühlings Erwachen in German Moser Theatre, Wadham 1930
Oxford Revue Wheatsheaf 2000
Spies Frayn Playhouse 1930
La Voix humaine & Le Livre blanc Telephonic opera Merton College Chapel 2030
Other
Derek Acorah TV “spirit medium” New Theatre 1930
Clarendon Lectures: Yeats and the Measure of Violence Professor Michael Wood St Cross 1700
Mostly Men Lunchtime Gallery Talks Ashmolean 1315
Freedom From Oil David Sandalow University Museum of Natural History 1700
Celebrating Franco Musically Enrique Sacau-Ferreira Denis Arnold Hall, Music Faculty 1715 Wednesday 27th
Film
Be Kind Rewind (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
The Bucket List (12A) Odeon George St. 1245, 1815
Cloverfield (15) Odeon George St. 1430, 1645, 1900, 2115
Definitely Maybe (12A) Odeon George St. 1415, 1715, 2015
I’m Not There (15) Ultimate Picture Palace 2100
Jumper (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
Juno (12A) Odeon George St 1330, 1600, 1830, 2100
The Kite Runner (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 1800
My Blueberry Nights (12A) Phoenix Picture House 1500, 1700, 1900, 2110
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (PG) Odeon George St. 1400, 1700, 2000
No Country for Old Men (15) Odeon Magdalen St. 1400, 1700, 2000
Sweeney Todd (18) Odeon George St. 1500, 2045
There Will Be Blood (15) Phoenix 1345, 1700, 2015
Music
Queen’s College Organ Recital Queen’s College Chapel 1310
St Hilda’s Music Society Recital Piano J du P 1315
One Night Only ‘Rock’ Zodiac 1900
Montjoys Jacket Acoustic sessions Purple Turtle 1900
Stage
Debris Burton Taylor 1930
Dolores Wears the Stares Burton Taylor 2130
Fanshen O’Reilly, Keble 2000
Spies Frayn Playhouse 1930
Other
Role of the Art School in the 21st Century Panel discussion Modern Art Oxford 1830
Film
Be Kind Rewind (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
The Bank Job (15) Odeon George St. 2045
The Bucket List (12A) Odeon George St. 1245, 1815
Cloverfield (15) Odeon George St. 1430, 1645, 1900, 2115
Definitely Maybe (12A) Odeon George St. 1415, 1715, 2015
Jumper (12A) Odeon Magdalen St. 1300, 1530, 1800, 2030
Juno (12A) Odeon George St 1330, 1600, 1830, 2100
The Kite Runner (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 1800
My Blueberry Nights (12A) Phoenix Picture House 1300, 1500, 1700, 1900, 2110
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (PG) Odeon George St. 1400, 1700, 2000
No Country for Old Men (15) Odeon Magdalen St. 1400, 1700, 2000
Rescue Dawn (12A) Ultimate Picture Palace 2100
Sweeney Todd (18) Odeon George St. 1500
There Will Be Blood (15) Phoenix 1345, 1700, 2015Thursday 28th Music
Queen’s College Choir & London Handel Orchestra Bach Queen’s College Chapel 2015
OU Philharmonia Elgar, Rachmaninoff Sheldonian 1930
Tony Kofi Sax Spin @ The Wheatsheaf 2100
Pama International Ska Academy 1900
Off The Radar Album release party Jericho Tavern 2000
Stage
Debris Burton Taylor 1930
Dolores Wears the Stares Burton Taylor 2130
Fanshen O’Reilly, Keble 2000
Frühlings Erwachen in German Moser Theatre, Wadham 1930
Spies Frayn Playhouse 1430, 1930
Other
The Temptations of form Clarendon Lectures: Yeats and the Measure of Violence, Prof Michael Wood St Cross Building 1700
Islamic persuasions: pathways to change in Islamic norms John R Bowen Exam Schools 1700

Thomas Barrett interviews Dev Hynes aka Lightspeed Champion 'Who?' seemed to be the general reaction from my friends when I told them that I’d be interviewing Lightspeed Champion. Even less people know his actual name, Dev Hynes. Yet here is someone who’s had a massive effect on modern British music. At the age of 17 he was the guitarist of the Test Icicles, generally thought to be the band that started nu-rave. After developing a strong following, the band decided that they didn’t actually like their own music and split up. I suppose you can’t really have a better reason, can you? Perhaps, without Dev there’s be no Klaxons, no “rah-ve”, and none of those god awful pink “Save The Rave” T-shirts in Primark. In spite of all that, you’ve got to love him. How many people do you know who can carry off big furry hats with such abandon? Now, to general surprise, he has reappeared under the guise of Lightspeed Champion, this time with a folksy, Americana-style tilt to his music.When I meet him, Dev seems uncomfortable with his return to fame. He fidgets slightly as he tells me, ‘I really didn’t think this album would get any attention. It’s got me questioning myself’. What surprised me most is how modest and self-deprecating he is. Given that he’s spent years as a performing musician, I thought he would ooze self-confidence. But he says, ‘I’ve always found playing live a weird concept … something I’ve had battles with over the last few years’. For him it seems that music is a personal thing. While he find playing live awkward, his attitude to music itself is vastly different, ‘I love music, it’s natural, like breathing. I just do it’. He adds, ‘I feel like I can write a song whenever I want to’.Inevitably, the Test Icicles come up. I ask if he sees the whole experience as a good thing. He thinks and then says ‘I don’t regret anything I ever do … I see everything as a learning experience’. But Dev is surprisingly unwilling to take any credit for his band’s influence. He says: ‘I never want to admit that I had an influence on something’. We move on to Lightspeed Champion. It is, he says, ‘just me by myself. I wouldn’t want to call it my name, because then people would assume it’s the real me.’ But then he comments that ‘it’ll always exist, unless I die.’ He surprises me by adding ‘but then it would probably be better’. Lordy.Dev’s apparent lack of faith in his abilities disappears on stage. After performing bass duties for support act Semifinalists, he confidently takes to the stage. He plays brilliantly, engaging well with the crowd and delivering a great set. Dev always seems to be several years ahead of himself – the next album is already written. He plays several of these new songs, showing that we have much to look forward to in the future.

 When announcing its sudden closure last year the Capuchin Order stated that it was shutting Greyfriars due to a lack of friars and financial problems. In a statement, Brother James Boner said, “We have had to consider the implications of the reduced number of Friars available to be involved in the work of the Hall and also, as with every area of our ministry, future financial obligations.”

But the most recent accounts, which have not been made public, show that the Capuchin Order was taking in more money from Greyfriars than it was spending, making a surplus of around £80,000 in 2005, and £20,000 in 2006.

Hudd said that the Capuchins hadn’t accounted for the 2007 financial year when the decision to close the Hall was made, but that the Order expected to make a loss, and that the figures in the accounts did not take into consideration other costs incurred to the Order, including maintaining student accommodation. “There was a very high level of hidden subsidy,” he said, and adding that “the decision to close was essentially due to dwindling numbers of friars.”

There has also been anger at how the friars revealed the Hall was to close. Last October, they announced their decision to a joint meeting of undergraduates, graduates and fellows. “It’s completely absurd that the fellows should find out at the same time as the undergraduates,” David Cochrane said. “It’s pretty underhand that this was done without the knowledge of the fellows.”

The Hall’s first years had been at Greyfriars for less than a month when it was announced that they would have to leave.

Many students have been left unhappy about having to join Regent’s Park, which is a Baptist institution, having applied to Greyfriars due to its Catholic traditions. Ellaine Gelman, a second-year law student and former JCR President, said, “A lot of people are angry about this, they’re not going to take this lying down.”
Letter from Rupert Abbott,  Deputy Director of the Greyfriars Society to the Hall's studentsDear all,I write further to my email of 30 October, to provide an update about the decision to close Greyfriars.After updating you and receiving your messages of support, I wrote to the Capuchin Order and University on behalf of the Greyfriars Society to express the alumni’s dissatisfaction with the way in which the decision to close Greyfriars was made without consultation with Fellows, students or alumni. The Order has stated that it has no obligation to consult. The University has blamed time constraints and a lack of access to alumni lists for its failure to consult (I have rejected these excuses), though states that it was the Order and not the University that made the decision. […] The only way that Greyfriars can continue is if the Order retains its licence, though I understand that their involvement in a new Greyfriars would only need to be minimal.The reason for my lack of correspondence since my last email is that the Order agreed to consider a proposal which is in place to save Greyfriars and secure a wonderful future. This proposal includes significant investment, a relocation to the former site of Greyfriars, and a focus on providing opportunities to the underprivileged. However, in hindsight it seems that the Order’s assurances were a stalling tactic. The Order led the Fellows to believe that the alternative proposal to closure would be considered, and then disregarded these assurances to the extent of denying that they had ever been made.Last weekend, the Order was given an ultimatum, on behalf of students, Fellows and alumni, which gave it until last Tuesday to reverse its decision and provide time for consultation and consideration of alternative proposals to ensure that the decision on Greyfriars’ future is made properly.The Order has agreed (again) to consider the alternative proposal at a meeting of the Difinitory on 10-12 December. The Order’s assurances may of course be another stalling tactic.[…]Students, Fellows and alumni I have spoken to are united in their desire to fight the Order’s decision to close Greyfriars. We have sought the assistance of influential contacts to put pressure on the Order and University. Please note that if the Order fails to reverse its decision, legal action will be brought (in the form of an application for judicial review of the way in which the decision to close was made). The media will then be told of everything that has happened (recently and in the past) and of the wonderful opportunity which has been ignored.I am sure that many of you will be amazed at how the Order has behaved. On this note, I must inform you that there is much opposition to the decision from within the Order itself. One influential member refers to the “scandal”, and another blesses the proposed action outlined above. I understand that one member is considering leaving the Order due to the events of the last few weeks.I must also inform you that the Greyfriars Secretary and law tutor Maggie Faulkner, who has done so much for the students of Greyfriars over the last few years and who helped to organise the wonderful 50th Anniversary Celebrations, has resigned over this matter.[…]Kind regards as ever,
Rupertby David Matthews, Deputy Editor

A government initiative to curb freshers’ week drinking has been met with scepticism by Oxford JCRs.

After taking part in a Downing Street seminar on the levels of binge drinking among British students, Gordon Brown and his policy team are investigating whether the Higher Education Funding Council can use its powers to ban universities from encouraging excessive drinking on their campuses. Freshers’ weeks across Oxford could be affected if the government pushes through plans universities on the matter.

Professor Oliver James, a liver disease specialist and head of the medical faculty at Newcastle University, told Gordon Brown about the levels of excessive drinking he had seen at his own campus.

He said, “I was concerned and appalled by the level of drinking which goes on in Freshers’ Week, not just at Newcastle but at every university in the country. This kind of thing just gratifies the binge drinking culture. The induction period is no longer just a week too, at many universities it can last for two or even three weeks.”

However, both JCR presidents and other groups in Oxford expressed their doubts as to whether such bans would be effective. In response to the news Louise Randall, OUSU Vice President for Welfare, said, “Many students choose to celebrate their new found freedom with a few drinks in Fresher’s week. However, many also make the choice not to drink, either because they choose not to, or because they cannot.

“Any attempt to actively discourage drinking during Fresher’s week will simply lead to student drinking being pushed underground, with potentially dangerous consequences.”

Tom Callard, JCR President at Oriel College, said, “We are always careful not to bias the Freshers’ timetable in favour of drinkers and there are always plenty of non-alcoholic activities. On our timetable we actually have no scheduled club nights – we organize things like bus tours, paint-ball and films, and if  people want to go out in the evenings then it is up to them.” He pointed out, “I don’t think we’d have to change anything if this new legislation came in – we already abide by it.”

The proposal for a clampdown will be discussed at Downing Street in spring with contributions from organisations such as the Portman Group, which promote responsible drinking. by Katherine Hall, Deputy News Editor

 Tough Panel favours idea to benefit hospital hygieneTwo Oxford teams have been awarded £4,500 each after jointly winning Ideal Idol, the Oxford Entrepreneurs competition for business innovation.

On Tuesday night six teams of Oxford students battled it out to impress a panel of ruthless and business-savvy judges, including millionaire Deborah Meaden, a frequent panellist on the BBC’s Dragon’s Den.

Alex Oshmyansky, a 23 year-old St Cross DPhil student, and Dan Nicolau, a DPhil student from Balliol, made up a pair that won both the £4,500 first prize and the People’s Choice award for a further £500, which was decided by the audience on the night.

Their winning idea was a proposition to combat the spread of infections in hospitals. They came up with a design for door handles that release antiseptic onto the hands of people who use them. By increasing the number of times hospital workers and visitors disinfect their hands, they hope that their invention will reduce the numbers hospital-acquired infections, including the superbug MRSA.

“Twelve people in this room will die from hospital-acquired infections,” began Alex Oshmyansky, addressing a 300-strong audience on Tuesday night. He went on to say that 120,000 people die each year in the UK and USA from hospital-acquired infections and in the UK alone they cost the NHS one billion pounds annually.

Oshymyansky said, “Use of our product will dramatically lower transmission rates and save and improve lives, while tapping into an enormous and unexplored market.”

Sebastian Grigg, a senior investment banker at Credit Suisse and one of the competition judges, was full of praise for the idea. He said, “This was an exceptionally well-presented idea, and had a transparent social benefit.”

The other winner was Alistair Hann, a DPhil student at New, who also went home with a cheque for £4,500. His idea was Zoombu, an internet-based travel search engine that will search every permutation of coach, rail, air, sea and car travel between two locations in Europe.

The judges queried whether he would actually be able to design a computer program to do this. Hann replied with confidence, “I’m a smart guy. I know other smart guys and I’ll have a good team around me.”

All of the six finalists were male. Jenny Tsim, who coordinated the event, said that the quality of the ideas was more important than the gender of the inventors. She said, “When we got down to the last few candidates to make the final we had to ask: do you choose a girl to go through as a token girl, or do you go on the quality of the idea? The competition is about ideas, so we chose the best ones.”

But Reshma Sohoni, another judge, said that the male dominance of entrepreneurship is a trend that needs to change. “It’s a problem that’s rife, particularly in Europe. We just need to encourage more women,” she said.
In last year’s competition the judges decided to invest their own money, giving the winning idea an effectively blank cheque, marked ‘whatever it takes.’ This year, however, no judge was willing to take such a gamble. Deborah Meaden said, “I came here thinking that I could have done, but none of the businesses in the final were in an area that I have a speciality in.”

However, she would nonetheless advise the winners of the competition to seek expert advice. “I think anybody starting up should seek guidance and assistance,” she said.

She added, “They shouldn’t be afraid of seeking it out. After all, I still need help.”by Jack Farchy, Deputy News Editor

Jack Orlick reports on the recent spate of bands reunited.Music, they say, is like a chicken. It can be particularly bland when served with the wrong sauces. So you head to the old rack in the corner of the room – cumin, tarragon, ginger, baby, sporty, posh and scary. Funny – the last five were full the other day. Now they’re empty. Break down in tears – the world is once again Spiceless.It was reported last month that the Spice Girls have split again, apparently down to the argumentative nature of five such unpalatable flavours. Mels B and C are said to have stated simply, ‘We’ve had enough’, while Victoria Beckham has cited her ever-growing presence in the fashion world. This news may have been on the cards for a while (news of trouble and strife has been pervading Heat for months), and it not only spells the crushing of dreams by those fans in South Africa, Australia and China, but also, following the disappearances of both East 17 and All Saints, an end to the spate of reunion tours to have cut hot (or rather fairly lukewarm) inroads through the musical world in the last year or so.The real musical rooster roasters have been not the 90s pop bands, who have in fact come rather late to the scene, but the older rock bands. The Rolling Stones seem to have had so many ‘very last’ tours, and ‘very very last’ concerts it’s likely that they’ll have to force Mick Jagger into the grave, chomping and spasming in that special way of his before we’ve seen the end of them. Last November, Led Zeppelin saw 20,000 greased up, aged up, air-guitar masters sliding through the aisles of the O2 arena in London, each paying £125 a ticket. In the last year, nostalgic fans have had the opportunity to experience The Police, Genesis, Van Halen, Smashing Pumpkins and even Crowed House stumble undead across the earths many stages.Why, we ask, have such bands taken it upon themselves to rise again? Cash, of course, would be the cynics answer, yet with such musical luminaries as the Stones and The Police, this just doesn’t hold up: their records still sell like Hassan’s/Hussein’s/Ahmed’s cheesy chips on a Friday night. What’s more likely (and I’m romanticising) is that these bands are made up of people who have a bloody need to perform – junkies of the stage. Their fans, rather than being fellow addicts, are the dealers of their drug: anyone who’s been to see Harmar Superstar (shame on you!) will know that an ‘artist’ is less than nothing without its audience.But exceptions follow every rule, and this is where we return to our 90’s cut-and-paste pop. Various members of Take That have been trying, and failing, to make it as solo acts for years – the same goes for the Spice Girls. Here we see a combination of performance desperation and the drip-drip of money down the drains of Chanel and Louis Vuitton. Attempting to regain the fame and glory of their former lives, they reform – in the case of the Spice Girls, only to once again fall apart. Take That, on the other hand, have been raking in both new fans and sterling coinage- rather than surfing the diminishing wake of their prior success, they’ve managed to identify exactly what it is that mainstream pop is today: a strange combination of classic Beatlesque, rock and, almost, funk. The cohorts of teenage girls who paid their way the first-time-around have grown up, and so, accordingly, has their music. ‘Beautiful World’ has now sold around 202,202,300 in the UK alone, reaching number 1 and going seven times platinum. Worldwide, they’d sold more than three million copies by December 2006. Take That have proven particularly innovative and successful, probably much to the annoyance of their counterparts. They’ve proven that given a good old shake, those tired flavours can still produce a mighty spicy singing sauce. And when reformed bands allow both re-discovery of certain musical styles, while simultaneously re-lighting the hearts of their middle-aged followers, how can we complain? Drab tribute bands just can’t provide the true experience of watching a gang of sexagenarians hop and hobble across the boards. We’ll just have to wait and see, though, if the many personalities of Britney can ever reunite…

Lady Margaret Hall’s JCR has passed a motion in support of a college porter asked to step down against his wishes.Having reached the retirement age of 65 Terry Greenwood, a night porter at the College, has been asked to resign, but the JCR has passed a motion calling for the college to extend its employment of him.The motion stated, “This JCR notes that Terry has been a friendly, hospitable and helpful presence in LMH who has made our time here far more pleasant. The JCR believes Terry is a credit to the College and its student body and is fully capable of performing his duties until he himself believes it is time to retire. “The JCR therefore resolves to declare its support for Terry Greenwood and expresses its hope that he can continue to serve LMH and its student body as a Porter for as long as he is willing to continue.”
It was concluded that the JCR president, Marlene Cayoun, would write a letter of support for Mr Greenwood to Bart Ashton, the Domestic Bursar, and Lawrence le Carré, the Head Porter, in collaboration with the MCR president.Commenting on the motion, the JCR president said, “Terry is a wonderful and well-loved member of the college, who is extremely competent at his job. He’s not in any way impaired by his age. We would all be very sorry to see him go, especially as he hasn’t expressed any desire to leave.”Other students spoke of their anger at the College’s decision to dismiss the porter. Third year student Matthew Henshall, said, “There is a lot of anger amongst students here. Terry Greenwood is the best porter in college by far. All of the porters here are good but he is a class apart. He is both caring and compassionate.” Henshall went on to add that Mr Greenwood was “perfectly fit for the job”, attended the LMH gym and that he was very much in support of him.The Domestic Bursar and the Head Porter were unavailable to comment on the situation.
According to employment laws introduced in 2006, although there is a default retirement age of 65, workers have the right to ask their employers to let them stay on at work. In order to prevent retirement being used as cover for an unjustified sacking, bosses must give at least six months’ notice of an individual’s retirement date. by Katherine Hall

St John's… …or Univ?

St. Edmund Hall 2 – 2 Lady Margaret Hall (St. Edmund Hall won on penalties)
St. Catherine's 0 – 5 Worcester Talismanic goalkeeper Nicola Ielpo once again took Teddy Hall to victory as they sneaked into the Cuppers final, courtesy of a penalty shoot-out victory against LMH on Friday. LMH will certainly feel hard done by after outplaying Hall for large chunks of this absorbing encounter. In a game that at times lacked quality, they acquitted themselves admirably, twice taking the lead against Hall, only to be pegged back both times, with defensive lapses costing them dear. The dogged Hall side, who have won three out of their last four Cuppers matches on penalty shoot-outs, will now face top of the table Worcester at Iffley road in Cuppers Final in 8th week. LMH entered the game at the top of Division 1, but with the addition of several University players, they looked more than capable of causing an upset to a Teddy Hall side that has gone from strength to strength in the JCR premiership, unbeaten in all competitions since November. It was LMH who made all the early running, taking a deserved lead after twenty minutes of unrelenting pressure. Their giant centre-back rose unmarked at a corner to clatter a header against the bar, and striker Wheeler reacted fastest to nod the ball into the net. Hall’s response was immediate; a slip from the LMH left-back let in Talbot-Smith who took the keeper by surprise, arrowing in off the far post. Despite these two early goals, both sides struggled to settle, with misplaced passes and snatched half chances epitomising the rest of the first half. Talbot-Smith again found room in the LMH penalty area, but his snapshot clipped the post on its way wide; while LMH’s dominance at set pieces was yielding results as Ielpo was kept on his toes throughout. In the second half Tom Wherry’s dominance in the air for LMH, coupled with the tricky wingplay of McCrickerd and Allchin, meant that Teddy Hall at times found themselves penned in their own half, with Wilfred Frost looking increasingly isolated up front. A goal seemed imminent and the right foot of Allchin provided it. His composed finish with twenty minutes remaining would have killed off most sides, but Captain John Waldron has instilled a ‘never say die’ attitude in this Hall team, and yet again, when asked the question, their response was swift. Mike Sopp’s through-ball released Talbot-Smith marauding down the right hand side. His cross looked to be too close to goalkeeper Di Capite, but Wilfred Frost’s ‘old fashioned’ challenge caused havoc and in the ensuing melee Frost bundled it over the line to draw the teams level once more. The game was now thrown wide open. Heroic last ditch tackling from Waldron and Lefanu kept the LMH front line at bay, while at the other end a deflected cross from the mercurial Mike Sopp trickled agonisingly wide, with the keeper beaten as time expired. 120 minutes could not separate the sides, and so it went to the agony of a penalty shoot-out. Italian ex-Serie C keeper Nicola Ielpo has an outstanding record in penalty shootouts, and despite picking up an injury in the second half, he saved two LMH spot kicks, to the relief of Hall captain Waldron after his pathetic excuse for a penalty. The enigmatic Talbot-Smith then stepped up to nonchalantly stroke the decisive penalty home, to send Teddy Hall into the final. In the other semi-final, Premiership title contenders Worcester had a comfortable 5-0 victory over St Catz. Blues striker Niko de Walden had effectivley guaranteed the victory for the Premier Division giants within the first twenty minutes with two goals. Kunal Desai added a third on the stroke of half time. Two second half goals from Tim Grady and Danny Plaxton added further gloss to the scoreline, but a young Catz side will be all the better for the experience of competing at such a level as they seek to build for next season in the Premier Division.by Ben Cossey