By Max Seddon Samuel Beckett’s influence on Peter Gill is obvious and acknowledged. Beckett as touchstone, in fact, for the drama sans drama is so common in the last thirty years that it goes beyond cliché somewhere, becoming a quasi-religious absolute truth. And yet, this somber little meditation over the kitchen sink from a Welsh slough of despond is more existential and, as far as I’m concerned, more profound than anything the Irishman ever wrote.
Childhood neighbors Vincent and Gerard are looking back to the miserable banality of their and their embittered mothers’ lives in the miry torpor of working-class 1950s Cardiff. Twenty years later, while so much has changed, nothing has happened. This life is so real, and yet so lifeless, the very essence of the dying process itself. With nothing left but their memories, they flit in and out of them in search of a comforting, familiar pain.
Gerard’s mother (Christa Brodie) is uneasy with the ease in which she can tranquilize herself. “When I was your age I had three or four kids,” she repeats to her son, unable and unwilling to come fully to grips with the gulf between them. Her sadness is not that of pain suffered but that of the onlooker to a tragic act, without the experience or the capacity to feel it herself. “I wish I could cry like that,” she says of Vincent’s mother, who in Ellen Buddle’s care undergoes a slow disintegration.
Mrs. Driscoll’s absent husband and wayward son get the better of her resolve, and Buddle looks as angry as she does upset watching the boys from her chair in purgatory. Buddle has one of those strange, captivating faces that can pull off a little boy and a Russian babushka with equal aplomb, and she puts it to excellent use here.
Archie Davies’ auspicious debut also deserves a mention; doubtless a starry future awaits him. But what really makes the play so great is the dull glow that sneaks out of it and creeps over you without your noticing. Like James Salter’s prose, Gill’s dialogue can break your heart without ever being consciously “lyrical” or going for firework language. Norris’ troupe justly never overbear onto the script and spoil the magic.
Of course, they are men, not Gods. Thanks especially to Brodie’s half-on, half-off Oirish drawl, I had no idea where we were until Norris told me afterwards. The symbolism and the gay touches, especially when Vincent and Gerard are looking at the stars, are a smidge obvious sometimes. As the latter, Alex Worsnip’s statements to the audience are laboredly, unsuccessfully poetic, though they are redeemed by the delicate childish sensitivity he shows playing younger ages. And it did take me a while to work out what was going on; it felt like an AA meeting at first.
Yet having seen half the play, in open rehearsal, a week and a half before first performance, I’ve truly been lost for six hundred words. Small Change has an elusive, ethereal blank beauty, rare and precious as a gem. This from a play that brazenly violates every rule in the book, not least by a near total lack of pace, trite, overworked themes, and one cardinal, cardinal sin, the proletarian blackface minstrel act of Oxford students playing salt-of-the-earth types. No small achievement to overcome. This is not to say, now, that anyone involved is a visionary genius. I can’t tell. By its nature this is beauty whose practitioners may not be aware of exactly what makes it so gorgeous and may be unable to repeat it again; in which case all the more reason to see it now. Go.      Dir. Barney Norris
O’Reilly, 7.30pm Weds-Sat
4th Week

Oxford 2 -2 Warwick MARTIN Keown is becoming more patient with age.
The newly appointed Blues coach stood calmly on the touchline, despite witnessing a frustrating draw on a cold day at Iffley Road. Although one point was enough to put Oxford at the top of their BUSA league, the home team will no doubt regret defensive errors that prevented them from winning for the second week in a row.
Oxford ran out eventual 4-3 winners at Northampton and made one change from that game, Tom Howell replacing Niko de Walden in the starting line-up.
Against the run of play, Oxford were the team to break the goalless deadlock when Farr’s pinpoint cross found the head of Cameron Knight in the fifteenth minute. The Oriel midfielder made no mistake, timing his jump to precision before placing the ball into the back of the away net, and propelling the Blues into the lead.
Until this point, Warwick were the dominant side, regularly exposing weaknesses in the Oxford defence. Despite a great deal of shouting at both the opposition and themselves, the home side’s back four failed to communicate effectively, allowing the Warwick strikers too much time on the ball in dangerous positions.
As a result, former Fulham youth goalkeeper Nik Baker was unable to prevent two successive goals from Warwick, either side of half time. This double blow appeared to knock the wind out of the home side’s sails, despite rallying cries from 3rd year captain, Paul Rainford.
Fortunately for Oxford, their depression was short lived, courtesy of a fantastic free kick from Homer Sullivan. The midfielder’s 25-yard strike was reminiscent of David Beckham, and it is debateable as to who is playing for the better club at present. From here onwards, Oxford attacked with style and energy, demonstrating that they have the ability to cause havoc, despite lacking great aerial presence. Moments of fast one-touch football delighted a large crowd of shivering spectators, who had come to watch on a day when there were no college matches being played.
Alex Toogood’s pace provided a constant threat for the Blues, enabling him to beat his man on a number of occasions. Despite a small frame, the blonde Worcester college striker was able to compete against Warwick’s tall centre backs as well as running down the left hand flank with gusto. Unfortunately, one of his best opportunities was deemed offside by the Warwick line judge, prompting accusations of bias from the home crowd.
Toogood was later involved in the main talking point of the game, when his penalty claim was turned down in the dying seconds. From fifty yards away, the referee judged the striker to be outside the box when he was tripped, choosing not to consult his linesman for a second opinion.
Although Ruud van Nistelrooy will tell you that Martin Keown is happy to fight over penalty claims, the Blues coach was calm on this occasion, preferring to keep his hands in the pockets of his coat. This was the final point of excitement in the game, with both managers appearing content with a point. It is unlikely that Keown will stay managing in his home town for more than a season, particularly as his playing rivals are battling in the glamorous world of the Premiership. Nonetheless, Oxford continue their title campaign against Worcester University next week, in the knowledge that they have the ultimate hard man to eliminate their defensive problems.

Considered by some to be affectionate horseplay and by others a fairly sinister form of sexual harassment, tickling has long fascinated great thinkers as serious as Plato to Darwin. Gargalesis, as tickling is scientifically known, is actually a highly evolved social behaviour since it evokes giggling only in humans and some primates.
Our squeamish reaction to tickling is most likely a defence mechanism, enabling us to protect vital parts of the body. Why the armpit is so particularly sensitive to tickling is anybody’s guess. However, as a social mechanism, tickling is a vital component of parent-child bonding, and, in a slightly more bizarre way, early sibling relationships.

But if you thought tickling was all good childish fun, think again. Acarophiliacs, tickle fetishists, are hiding only a couple of mouse clicks away. The Tickle Media Foundation, the largest online tickling forum, has over 50,000 members. There you can chat to like-minded ticklaholics and even share tickling porn.

It is the strange pleasure/pain component of tickling which makes it so irresistible to vicious five-year olds and dominatrices alike, since both ‘touch’ and ‘pain’ nerve fibres carry the sensation to the cortex. An element of surprise is required, which accounts for the fact that you cannot tickle yourself. Moreover, it’s thought that a perceived lack of any threat is also necessary for the effect, which is why small children will respond with fright rather than laughter if tickled by someone whom they don’t know.

Interestingly, you don’t have to be touched to feel the sensation of being tickled. Watch how an especially ticklish pal will continue to writhe even after the tickling has stopped, in expectation of another attack.
No one knows why some people are more ticklish than others, but one thing is certain: everybody is ticklish. Some may be prepared to take their secret weakness to the grave but, sooner or later, if you’re persistent, you’ll find the magic spot. Armed with this invaluable knowledge you should be able to get whatever you like: lecture notes, library books, drinks, sexual favours. Just be on your guard against a return attack.
By Hannah Carlin

By Jeremy Cliffe Is there anything anyone doesn’t get off on, whether we admit it or not?” In this pithy question the protagonist of Edward Albee’s The Goat expresses the play’s central dilemma: what do we tolerate, and what is taboo? Martin, the superstar architect at the pinnacle of his trade, sits in the living room, his life in tatters; a suitable ending to a drama Albee subtitles “Notes towards a definition of tragedy”.
The opening scene introduces us to Martin (Will Robertson) and his wife Stevie (Sarah Nerger). The pair launches into a convincing, provocative performance, and we are quickly drawn into the world of the ever-so-slightly bohemian denizens of the East Coast bourgeoisie. Those familiar with the patina of the surreal on Albee’s 1962 masterpiece, Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf? will recognise the style. Yet here the very premise is an absurdity, or at least we would be forgiven for thinking so: Martin is having an affair with a goat named Sylvia. As the play unfolds the animalistic amore is revealed to the audience, his friend Ross (Max Seddon), his wife and his gay son Billy (Tom Coates). Add to the concoction simmering discord and dysfunctional communication, and the result is a Kafkaesque collapse of the superficially harmonious world which we are presented at the outset.
A little way into the play, Ross is distracted by the churning, rushing sounds of the dishwasher. “It’s probably the Eumenides” Martin replies wryly. Indeed, where these mythical deities enforced the prevailing moral order upon the heroes of yore, in Albee’s modern tragedy it is this paradigm of modern domesticity that looms over Martin’s nemesis. But Papa Aristotle would be mighty content with the plot structure. Dramatic unity, a fall from glory, circumstances beyond control, and a suitably cathartic dénouement – the play has it all. Albee creates what the Director Guy Levin describes as “a truly modern tragedy”, suited to our atomised, atheist society through its exploration of where we place the boundaries on love; and bestiality, paedophilia, incest and rape are under the spolight.
Launching on Broadway in 2002, the play reached British audiences in 2004 at Islington’s Almeida Theatre (starring Jonathan Pryce), and in its Oxford première Levin does the work full justice. In the first act Robertson’s dry tone is an excellent counter to the vitality of Nerger’s polished, authoritative but affectionate wife and Seddon’s superbly charismatic television presenter. Robertson maintains a quizzical air, clearly troubled, even alienated. As Ross, camera rolling, introduces his friend on interview, there is a brilliant discord between Martin’s expression of undisguised tedium, lip curled, and Ross’s self-important ramblings (“Some people, I guess, are, well…more extraordinary than others” he contemplates, gazing into middle-distance).
With the revelation of Martin’s capriphiliac dalliances, Nerger comes into her own, lurching manically from incandescent ranting to superior, sarcastic barbs. Meanwhile Coates does well as the slightly affected Billy; between uncomprehending outbursts at his parents he speechlessly grasps at his hair. Robertson tends to be more deadpan than frenetic, more wry than fraught, to the point of occasionally underplaying his role. It’s a point of debate whether this trace of the understated wryness of Robertson’s excellent Berthold Brecht in last Hilary’s Tales from Hollywood restricts his portrayal, but in any case he puts in a fine portrayal of neuroticism and inner sadness.
In all, this is a first-rate set of performances, credible but with subtle hints of caricature that well suit the supercharged reality of the world of the play. It has great success in balancing the absurdity and comic word play with Martin’s tragic inability to reconcile genuine love with absolute social orthodoxy, and as such leaves us wary of taking the validity of such a convention for granted. Dir:  Guy Levin
    OFS: 7.30 Tues-Sat, 2.30 Sat
    Week 4

Oxford 4-9 (21)  –  University of East London 1-7 (10) A COMMANDING second half performance saw the Oxford Gaelic Football men walk away from their first fixture with a comfortable victory in the British Universities Southern Division.
A nervous start saw Oxford fall 4 points behind just 10 minutes into the first half, forcing player-manager Conor O’Kane to bring himself off the bench, where he had been orchestrating proceedings. From then strong performances from key figures down the centre of the pitch afforded a steady supply of possession into a forward line that showed great skill in front of goal.
Having rectified the deficit before half time, the Blues settled confidently into the lead and the London boys would have a tough challenge ahead in their attempt to turn the match around.
In the early stages of its voyage the ship that was the Oxford Gaelic team found itself battered by strong winds and high seas. O’Kane emerged from the galley, strode onto deck calmed the sailors and trimmed the main sail. Stable again, the cannons of the full forwards unleashed a hail of pain on UEL.
In short it was superior quality more than anything else which allowed Oxford to coast to such an impressive result with UEL unable to provide any answer to the sheer class of players such as Shane O’Brien and Dermot Rock.
A defence led by Ronan Fergusson did enough to keep the opposition at bay with Sean McClory punishing loose marking at the opposite end.
This was a promising start to the season from a team showing real signs of potential for the coming year. Spectator Oliver Broomfield said, “I was hoping to see a rugby match but what I witnessed was quite entertaining.”

Oxford 9 – 1 LeicesterAS THE dark clouds of October descended over Iffley Road, it seemed only the glaring pink jerseys of the two umpires could brighten up a gloomy afternoon.
Anyone who witnessed the opening exchanges could be forgiven for agreeing. Both sides managed to string a few passes together only for a poor touch, a foot or good honest defence to see the move break down. Early signs indicated that chances could be few and far between. But the Blues could be excused for not being at their most enthusiastic.
Having to trudge through the depths of the BUSA pyramid can be tedious, especially as games are often an unwelcome distraction from Southern Premier League fixtures that are played at weekends. After a 3-2 loss to Richmond on Saturday, Oxford will face Staines in their next non-BUSA fixture.
The scrappy opening was brought to an abrupt halt by a freak injury. On ten minutes David Cresswell tried to turn in Leicester’s  ‘D’, raising his stick to strike the ball but succeeding only in finding contact with a Leicester player’s head, leading to an ambulance call disrupting the flow of the game.
After the stoppage, the gulf in class between the two sides was suddenly there for all to see. The Leicester goal was now under siege, the Blues surging forward, making darting runs and finally asking a few questions of the Leicester stopper.
Oxford were being kept at bay, but it was only a matter of time until they broke the deadlock. In the nineteenth minute, a cross in front of the Leicester defence wasn’t dealt with properly, leaving Ivey to beat the keeper from eight metres out.
The home side didn’t rest on their laurels and pressed for more, short corner after short corner coming the way of the Blues, only for their efforts to be parried away. But a second was always on the cards, and it came from another short corner.
Cresswell’s shot was stopped by the keeper, but only as far as Molinari, who converted the simple tap in. A third also came from a short corner drilled in by Sibley,  but a well worked set piece by Leicester pulled one back just before the interval, following a rare foray into Oxford’s half.
That goal could have been the catalyst for a Leicester comeback, but it was the Blues who came out of the blocks fastest and reasserted their dominance after the break. Martin Pickup rifled one past the keeper and Mark Kindo tapped another in after successive short corners.
Short corners continued to cause havoc for the Leicester defence, Kindo profiting from one and claiming his second goal of the match. Brad Tucker added a seventh, before a late brace by Cresswell completed the rout.
There can be no doubting the way Oxford approached the game, but the Blues won’t have felt stretched or challenged. For now, the real tests for the hockey players come at the weekend.

Outraged students at Greyfriars have attacked the Hall authorities’ decision to permanently close without consulting any members of the student body.
Greyfriars, one of the University’s seven Permanent Private Halls, is to close next year following a national review of the Capuchin Franciscan Order’s ministries.
Students at the PPH, who first heard the decision on Tuesday, will be transferred to Regent’s Park in October next year to complete their degrees.
In a statement released on Tuesday, the Hall’s governing body explained that the closure was largely motivated by a shortage of friars, as well as considerable financial difficulties. They claimed their decision was not based on a scathing University report published in September that criticised the ethos and practices of PPHs.
“The Hall is already highly subsidised by the Capuchins, and has become a financial burden to their other areas of activity within the UK. It therefore became apparent during the course of our review that there is no long-term future for Greyfriars Hall as a ministry of our Province,” they said.
Former JCR President Ellaine Gelman was highly critical of the PPH’s actions and felt measures to ensure students needs were being met were insufficient.
“Many of the freshers present at Tuesday’s meeting were crying, and the feeling was: why did they accept us if they knew this was going to happen? Some students who don’t want to go to Regent’s Park are now looking into moving to colleges instead. I think Oxford’s losing an important part of itself,” she said.
“They claim that everything they’re doing is in the interests of the students. If this was the case, they should have consulted the JCR president. It’s quite insulting to be kicked out of your own college and community. My personal opinion is that the Capuchins no longer want the students there. If it was just a financial issue then they could have found the money somehow,” she said.
Gelman added that the general feeling among students was one of great sadness at the College’s closure.
“Everyone knows each other’s name at Greyfriars, it’s such a tight-knit community. We feel our sense of identity is being taken away from us. Some of us will be spending our third year in what feels like a foreign institution,” she said.
Greyfriars MCR President Sheridan Taylor agreed, “We’re all in a state of shock. It’s very saddening that part of our family, the friars, are going to be separated from us. I love it here, it’s so vibrant, and adds so much to the diversity of the University as a whole.”
The Hall is to keep its student accommodation operational for two years after students are transferred to Regent’s Park.
Greyfriars JCR President Jonathan Hamill commented, “[We are] understandably disappointed. As a student community it offered a very special place to study with amazing academic and social opportunities. The closure of the Hall, for reasons beyond the student’s control, is an issue that provoked great sadness.”
Staff at the Hall will have their positions reviewed in the coming year, although it is hoped many will continue teaching in conjunction with other colleges.
Communications Officer for the Order Barry Hudd explained, “There is only a handful of staff at the Hall and one permanent staff member. The majority of people working there won’t be affected.”
OUSU President Martin McCluskey said he was impressed with the University’s response to the Hall’s closure. “Given the circumstances, we’re pleased with how the central University are handling the situation and we’re confident that the move to Regent’s Park is in the best interest of Greyfriars students and their academic experience at the University.”
The University has issued a statement, explaining that they are unable to influence the Hall’s decision to close. “The University of Oxford is bound by the decision of the Capuchin Fraciscan Order that their ministry at Greyfriars can no longer continue after the end of this academic year. We regret the loss of Greyfriars as a Permanent Private Hall but respect the Order’s decision.”

AFTER arriving ten minutes after the scheduled kick off time, Coventry must have hoped that it was time for their luck to change. Instead, they found themselves confronted with a Blues side full of enthusiasm and energy for the start of a new BUSA rugby league season.
From the kick off it was evident that the Blues, playing in the unfamiliar grey of their old boys’ kit, were looking to exert their dominance in every way possible. Their defensive line was quick off the mark and gave the visitors no time on the ball, leaving Coventry unable to play with any width. It didn’t take long for the home side to make their mark on the scoreboard. The first score came through winger James Batstone who stormed over the line for the opening try of an eventual hat-trick.
Although Oxford were playing against an obviously weaker side it was important to maintain good shape in attack and to stick to the same game plan and patterns they had begun the game with. As they face three though fixtures in the next three weeks against Staffordshire, Loughborough and Nottingham, the second half was not the time to be taking it easy.
With the half backs leading the side and man of the match Charlie Morris controlling the game from dummy half Oxford started to set about finishing off every opportunity they had. Some poor tackling from the visitors made it easy for the Blues to make their way up the field and a mix of quality and sometimes speculative offloads ensured the tries kept coming.
Scrum half Tom Muir was kept busy in his kicking role scoring an impressive eleven out of twelve conversion attempts. Club President George Smibert summed up the afternoon the visitors had been forced to endure when he put in a massive shoulder charge on one of the Coventry players, leaving his opponent reeling on the floor. Victory insured an impressive start to the season for the Blues but they have a long way to go before recapturing the form that saw them walk away victorious from last year’s Varsity.

SOME flirt with the idea for a few sessions, maybe even a fortnight, but you can spot the reaction in people’s faces: this is hard. When you enter the ring you know that there’s no team to back you up. The guy in the opposite corner has trained for weeks and has dedicated hours of his life to ensure these are the hardest three rounds you’ll ever face. You can’t afford to be weak, you can’t afford not to train hard and you can’t afford to make a mistake.
For the squad the pinnacle of the season is Varsity. But to get there you need bouts, which means a continual cycle of peaking physically for fights throughout the season. No one can afford to be on anything other than top form for a contest, so the training is intense from the word go. Preparations begin before the start of Michaelmas when our nutritional plans kick in and the hard work starts.
 All squad members train 7-10 times per week with the emphasis on building up split second explosive power and technical ability. In a typical session sprints precede circuits on the rope, then sparring. Rounds on the bags are mixed with drills, shadow boxing and more body weight circuits. Track and hill sprint sessions are run two mornings a week, conditioning the body through intervals to reach maximum performance quickly with the fastest recovery time possible. You don’t eat before these! Weight circuits run in the evening focus on explosive movements to build strength and stamina without size, where dedicated sparring sessions focus on building the finished product.
We have a mature squad this year, retaining talent from past Blues and others who have trained with the club before. The female squad has gone from strength to strength, receiving recognition from the Blues’ committee, although not counting towards our Varsity fight. We stand to make it 3 wins in 3 this year at the Town Hall, and the pressure of wanting to achieve is already bearing down on us.