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The Christ Church Picture Gallery review

Image Credit: PDM 1.0 DEED via Collections - GetArchive

Oxford proudly boasts, undoubtedly, one of the best cultural scenes of any city in the United Kingdom. From the Ashmolean to the Natural History Museum there is no shortage of ways to spend an afternoon soaking up centuries of history; all without spending a penny. There is, however, a lesser-known and equally exciting place which few students (or tourists) have yet to discover. 

The Christ Church Picture Gallery has free entry for Oxford students. It offers a chance to view one of the most impressive college art collections, with pieces spanning the 14th to 18th centuries, beautifully displayed in a semi-subterranean gallery designed by Sir Phillip Powell and Hidalgo Moya. Tucked away in the back of the college, it is easy to miss the gallery as visitors must enter through Canterbury Gate, opposite Oriel and, from there, signs guide you to the entrance. 

The gallery comprises three distinct rooms that guide visitors through the spaces, beginning with the earliest works. Some of the most captivating pieces are a number of fragments extracted from Scenes of the Lives of Hermits, a sprawling work of the Tuscan and Florentine Schools created c.1440-1450. Composed of tempera on panel this work is a prime example of the more you look, the more you see. There are countless figures depicted, each illustrating various stories and allegories from the Bible. Amongst them, it is possible to spot monks, saints, and comically reptilian devil figures, which have maintained their brilliant detail and colour despite being almost six hundred years old.  

As you progress through to the second room of the gallery, prepare to be struck by perhaps the most spectacular, and maybe grotesque, painting in the collection at Christ Church, Annibale Carracci’s The Butcher’s Shop (c.1583). The painting is monumental in scale at almost 2×3 metres and it depicts the interior of a butcher’s shop with two butchers, possibly the artist’s brother Agostino Carracci and cousin Ludovico Carracci. The Carracci family were influential in the rejection of the Mannerist style and were crucial in altering the course of Italian art. The importance of direct observation from nature, as stressed by Carracci is reflected in The Butcher’s Shop where he  employs a limited palette of earthen colours instead of the brilliant unnatural hues associated with the prevailing Mannerist style. The painting is also of note for its depiction of tradesmen in a dignified, ceremonious demeanour which is distinguishable from earlier satirical everyday subjects.. The Butcher’s Shop takes pride of place in its current spot in within the gallery, yet for a long time the painting was hung in the college kitchen before it was recognised for its artistic value in the 20th century

Filippino Lippi’s The Wounded Centaur (late 15th century) continues the evolutionary trajectory seen in Renaissance art. Lippi, a close associate of Botticelli, belonged to a cohort of Florentine artists who pioneered innovative approaches to painting. Notably, the painting devotes significant attention to the background, featuring caves and reflections in the sea. This reflects a newfound interest in depicting geological formations, a departure from the typical focus of Renaissance painting on the primary subject. Moreover, Lippi’s rendition of the story diverges from the traditional narrative found in Fasti Book V by Ovid. In Ovid’s telling of the story the centaur Chiron sustains a fatal wound while examining the poisoned arrows of Hercules, tainted by the venom of the mythological Hydra. In Lippi’s version, the centaur is shown inspecting not the arrows of Hercules but the quiver of Cupid, which is perhaps the artist’s warning to the viewer about the dangers of love.

The gallery not only plays host to impressive pieces on canvas but also on paper. Amongst the collection are works by well-known artists such as Albrecht Dürer and Leonardo da Vinci. Few national museums can claim to house works by such giants of Renaissance drawing. For this reason, amongst the many others, it is surprising how few students that I have spoken to have given this hidden gem of a gallery a visit. If you find yourself wondering what to do this Trinity, the Christ Church Picture Gallery is open Thursday to Monday and entrance is completely free for members of the University, where tickets can be booked online.

Coffeesmith – the paw-fect café?

Image credit: Bex Walton/CC by 2.0 via Flickr

I can’t think of many better ways to be welcomed into a café than with a wall of dog photos. Luckily, customers at Coffeesmith are treated to just that. 

This charming independent café is tucked away in the Golden Cross shopping arcade, which is adjacent to the Covered Market and accessible from Cornmarket Street. Its location is ideal: simultaneously tucked away in a quiet area and close to the city centre. 

Its unique selling point? Its dog-friendliness. Although not immediately useful to Oxford students, this did positively influence my opinion of the café before even entering. Customers are first greeted with a wall of polaroids of very cute dogs, labelled with their names, which I confess that I spent an embarrassing amount of time examining. Pets are not only tolerated here, but taken good care of – Coffeesmith offers dog treats.

I was greeted by the friendly baristas and took a seat by the window. There were tables outside in the arcade, which I hope to return and make use of when the weather warms up. I visited at lunchtime, and despite the relatively limited menu – consisting of toast, bagels, and grilled sandwiches – Coffeesmith is one of those places which may have few options, but executes each of them very well. I also caught a glimpse of a wide array of sweet treats at the counter which looked varied and interesting.

I opted for the avocado toast, which cost £8.20, and – trying to convince myself that summer has arrived despite the 12oC forecast – an iced americano, which was rather reasonably priced at £3.30. Though I’m no connoisseur, I was able to recognise that the coffee was great. It’s a goal of mine to visit as many independent cafés as possible in Oxford, and I can confidently say that this coffee ranks highly.

My avocado toast arrived before long; the two pieces of sourdough were topped with a surprisingly generous amount of sliced avocado, and sprinkled with spicy and salty seasoning. I was expecting something akin to the boring, hardly seasoned avocado toast I make for myself at home, but Coffeesmith’s take on that modern classic opened my eyes to its potential. The subtle hint of the olive oil used to toast the bread combined with the seasoning to infuse the well-ripened avocado with flavour, a welcome addition to an ingredient which can be somewhat bland if not prepared well. Overall, I was really pleased and pleasantly surprised with my choice, and I recommend it highly to those both new to and familiar with the dish.

I was also lucky enough to be able to try a bite of another toast option, which was topped with smoked chicken, rocket, sun-dried tomatoes, and – the star of the show – pesto aioli. Once again, this classic combination was taken to new heights and I found the alternative creamier texture for the pesto taste to be a triumph. I would seriously recommend this too – perhaps to those who consider avocado toast too basic a choice.

All in all, I was thoroughly pleased by my visit to Coffeesmith. If I had to find one gripe with it, it would be that my phone was not able to connect to the internet when I was inside, so it may not be the ideal location for your academic work. But for dates, lunches, brunches, or an afternoon coffee, it’s the perfect spot – whether or not you have a dog to bring along.

Christ Church Picture Gallery recovers stolen painting

Image Credit: Daniel Stick

One of the three paintings stolen from Christ Church Picture Gallery during a high-profile heist in March 2020 was returned, according to a joint press conference held by the Christ Church Picture Gallery and Thames Valley Police on 19 April. 

The landscape painting, A Rocky Coast, with Soldiers Studying a Plan by the baroque Italian master Salvator Rosa, is once again on display in its original place in the Gallery. 

Police in Romania were contacted by a man who possessed the painting. The same man also previously sold the other two artworks stolen from the gallery, which are currently understood to be somewhere in Europe. Romanian authorities have not arrested the contact and are treating him as a witness. 

After police recovered the painting, it was temporarily safeguarded in the National Gallery of Art in Bucharest. The official handover of the artwork to the gallery’s curator, Jacqueline Thalmann and Detective Chief Inspector (DCI), James Mather, of Thames Valley Police took place in the Romanian capital on 26 March. 

“We have harvested a large amount of forensic material from the painting when we recovered it in Bucharest”, DCI Mather said in a recent video statement.

“I’m really hopeful that the forensic opportunities combined with the ongoing investigations … provide good opportunity and good line of inquiry in relation to the burglary and the recovery of the further two paintings.” 

No additional information on the exact whereabouts of the other paintings has been released. 

Anthony van Dyck’s Soldier on Horseback and Annibale Caracci’s A Boy Drinking were two of the most valuable and significant pieces in the picture gallery’s collections.

Two frames remain hanging empty in the gallery “as a symbol of hope for their return.” The total estimated value of the heist was £10 million and the heist was one of the highest value art thefts in British history. 

DCI Mather stated that the man in Romania who had sold on the remaining stolen artwork, did so “not realizing their significance.”

Following recent developments, Thames Valley Police issued a fresh appeal for any information on the missing works.

EDI report reveals only one in three Oxford academics are women

Image Credit: Daniel Stick

The new University equality and diversity report shows women make up only one in three Oxford academics. The workforce is significantly more diverse in the younger age groups, with growth in both ethnic and gender diversity being notably slower amongst older employees.

The University of Oxford has published its annual Equality, Diversity and Inclusion (EDI) report for 2022-2023. The reports, prepared by the University’s Equality and Diversity Unit (EDU), have been published since 2016, and are rooted in the transparency requirements of the 2010 Equality Act. Data of this sort was first released ten years ago. 

Among its findings, it shows that the proportion of women diminishes as the ranking of academic positions increases. Regarding professors, in 2023, 28% were women, but among less senior positions their share was higher (over a third of Associate Professors). Ten years ago, the share of women across the University’s staff was 49%, however, only one in four of the academic staff were women.

Similar trends follow in ethnic diversity. Change among the University’s lower-level and younger staff is happening faster than at higher levels. Between 2014 and 2023 there has been an increase of only 3% and 4% in the share of black and minority ethnicity (BME) professors and academics respectively. Yet, among researchers, there has been an increase of 10%. It should be noted that, according to the 2023 EDI report, researchers are younger than academics: nearly 40% of researchers are under the age of 40, compared to 21% of academics. 

Oxford University has far more diversity amongst its younger employees. For employees under 30, women made up at least half of the workforce in each department, at some points representing up to two thirds. Yet, when it comes to older age groups, gender inequality grows substantially. Female academics are half of the under-30 group, approximately 40% of academics aged 30-49, approximately 30% of academics aged 50-64, and only 20% of those aged 65 or more. 

Men used to go to war – now they DJ

Why are so many people becoming DJs? This recent obsession has taken the world – and now Oxford – by storm. Love it or hate it, everyone is doing it (or knows someone who is) which begs the question, why?

The term DJ, meaning ‘Disk Jockey’, originates from vinyl mixing on turntables, however with the digitisation of music, DJing now emblematises the act of innovating music in a live setting, connecting tracks and audiences in real time. Technological development means that brand new decks can be bought for as little as £100. Although these are smaller and simpler, as their price would suggest, they still provide decent reward and are vastly more accessible for aspiring DJs.

Technology has also changed the way we listen to music. MTV and YouTube have become relics, replaced by the growth of streaming services such as Spotify and Soundcloud, alongside social media platforms like TikTok combining music and content. This shift away from visual medium has helped broaden the genres we listen to, as the pop music of A-List performers with the highest video production budgets no longer dominate the charts. Eclectic playlists shifting from the giant music studios to more niche scenes have become commonplace and trendy. Independent artists are in the best age to be noticed. People who start off making music from their bedrooms – think PinkPantheress who uses GarageBand – are now selling out venues across the globe. Stories like these become inspirations for a new generation of aspiring musicians, but with this influx to an already oversaturated market, it is easy to fade into a blur of newcomers.

But what if you are in your twenties, passionate about music and keen to get your own content out there, but you lack traditional musical talent? You never learnt to play an instrument and you can’t sing to save your life. Whilst this used to be a huge barrier, you can master Rekordbox and a Pioneer mixer in a fraction of the time and price of an instrument, and work with pre existing tracks to connect your taste to your audience.

In the past, DJs’ collaborations with pop artists were generally the most significant way of propelling them into the mainstream. Thinking back to the 2010s, DJs like Marshmello and DJ Khaled were collaborating with the most famous names – Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber. Let’s not forget Faded by Alan Walker which was heard on every high street on the planet, featuring the Norwegian singer Iselin Solheim, who is of course a lot more obscure than the previous mentioned – yet the song skyrocketed. This suggests that it was less about the status of who they were collaborating with, and more about the familiarity and trendy structure that a pop singer could provide, pushing a song onto the mainstream radar.

Nowadays, we are seeing more and more DJs reaching fame for their solo projects. DJs are no longer a hoard of middle aged scruffy men, broken up by faceless enigmas like Marshmello, or awkward nerds like Skrillex. TikTok has propelled a less conventional wave of DJs to fame. Peggy Gou, for example, shot to fame with (It Goes Like) Nanana which essentially became the song of summer 2023, and her immersion into the sphere of fashion has also made her a distinguishable and chic personality. Now sporting almost twelve million monthly listeners on Spotify, she is one of the most highly regarded DJs of this year, paving the way for female DJs in this grossly male-dominated sphere. In particular, the jungle-esque soundscapes of Nia Archives revitalised the genre, earning her multiple awards, and Jayda G’s gorgeous house track Both of Us was nominated for a Grammy.

For those interested in music, DJing has become a viable hobby to impress your friends with at house parties or for taking some ostentatious Instagram photos behind the decks (guilty!). As always, with every trend venturing into the mainstream, its popularity is accompanied by its fair share of hate. I am sure we have all joked that ‘men used to go to war, now they DJ’, or vowed to never fall victim to this epidemic, but like it or not – its rise is inescapable, and I don’t think it is close to dying down soon. In fact, I think it is only growing, but rather than being cynical, I am excited for what new music is to come.

Matchstick Cats

Image Credits: "Dr Tugwell and Farmer" by Library of Congress/ dr-tugwell-and-farmer-of-dust-bowl-area-in-texas-panhandle-presidents-report.jpg/ CC BY SA 4.0

Mark and Trev were surrounded on the bed of the truck by old wooden beams and bits of furniture – debris of a life that wasn’t theirs – and had positioned themselves amongst this so that they were looking backwards, watching the road unfurl behind the vehicle. Trev always insisted on facing backwards rather than ahead: he spent most of his life looking backwards, now, spent most of his life reliving old memories, on some subconscious level aware that they were slipping away from him all the time.

Forty miles to California.

As they bounced along the road, whilst Mark stared out at the featureless mountains in the distance, Trev was reliving an event that occurred sixty-four years ago in a kitchen in Oklahoma. He had become again that six-year-old boy smelling freshly baked bread and watching his mum slice a piece off for him to taste. Memories like these would float up from the depths of his mind randomly. He couldn’t control when they came, and the rest of the time he couldn’t access them, like a dark veil had drifted over them, so when they did come, he clung to them and wrung them dry, sucked the marrow from them, took in every detail. With the passage of time, the details of these memories had become worn and faded like an old photo. He focused hard, trying to remember the smell of the bread, the items on the kitchen counter, what was playing on the radio, his mother’s face. He was trying desperately to will himself into the scene –

–and then the sound of the truck bounding over a pothole distracted him from the memory, and he forgot what he was thinking about. As quickly as it had surfaced, the moment was lost again.

He turned to Mark. ‘Where we going to?’

‘California.’

‘Why we going there?’

‘You said there was work there – remember?’

‘Oh, okay.’

‘I don’t know where we’re going after.’

‘What you mean “where after”? There is no “after”. If I said we’re going to California, then we’re going to California. I must have known where we was headed back then.’

‘You said the same thing about Elk City, and we kept going on after that.’ Mark paused. ‘Do you even know where we started from?’

‘Course I do,’ Trev said, ‘Tulsa.’

‘Nah, we didn’t start in Tulsa,’ Mark shook his head. ‘Your memory’s gettin’ worse.’ He looked back out at the hills.

When Mark looked back, he saw that Trev was already lost again in some distant memory. The old man’s clothes hung over him, caked in dust and dirt. 

Only thing he remembers clearly now is the road, Mark thought. An endless road. The place names blur together for him. He doesn’t remember the journey beginning. He probably can’t imagine it ending neither. His world’s a reel of road, endlessly unfurling in front of his eyes, never stopping.

I could ditch him at the next town, he thought. They’d been all over the country. Tulsa. St Louis. Atlantic city. Santa Fe. Pueblo. 

Can’t stay on the road much longer, he thought. No person can live like this, constantly shifting from one place to another, all in the hope that they’d find work. Even work picking cotton, that would have been enough. But they never did find anything. Yes, Mark thought, I could bow out at the next city, settle down, find something. Won’t be much, but there’ll be something. Trev’ll continue on, probably, and he’ll be fine.

But then when he looked back, he noticed Trev’s overcoat had come undone at the top and was beginning to slip down over his shoulders. Trev had fallen asleep, completely oblivious. 

Mark leant over and buttoned the coat back up. Only after it was done up did he return to staring out over the side of the truck at the unspooling road.

Biology department equality displays repeatedly defaced

Image Credit: George Hodan via public domain

The Biology department’s EDI (Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion) noticeboard and flags have been repeatedly defaced, according to emails sent by the department heads. An incident in early March targeting the Progress and Pride flags in the Zoology Research and Administration Building was followed by further instances in mid-April.

The initial email stated that the department was trying to identify the perpetrators, to whom the department promised disciplinary action. The second email described this behaviour as “frustrating and upsetting” and outlines a two-pronged plan in response.

Firstly, the department said that it will offer those responsible a confidential meeting “to try and understand their motives and to offer support”. Since “it may be possible that those responsible do not realise how hurtful and harmful their behaviour is.”

However, if those responsible did not volunteer themselves for a confidential mediation, the department warned that an investigation to identify them would be underway.

Defacing the EDI noticeboards is unacceptable because it is a form of harassment, according to the email. It further stated: “The university has wide-ranging powers to act against those who are found guilty of it, and we will follow university policy and procedures. In extreme cases, the university can decide to discontinue students from their course of study or terminate the employment of staff, with lesser punishments including removing responsibilities and formal warnings.”


A University spokesperson told Cherwell: “The University is committed to freedom of speech and is clear that within the bounds set by law, all voices or views which any member of our community considers relevant should be given the chance of a hearing. As stated in our Equality Policy, we are also committed to a culture of inclusion in which all members are valued, listened to and empowered to participate fully in the life of the University.”

Oxford Union believes populism is a threat to democracy

On Thursday night, the Oxford Union voted in favour of the motion “This House Believes that Populism is a Threat to Democracy.” The final count had 177 members voting for the motion and 68 members voting against. 

Speaking in favour of the motion were Nancy Pelosi, the first female Speaker of the House, and Oli Dugmore, editor of PoliticsJOE. Secretary Rachel Haddad of Balliol College also spoke in favour of the motion. 

British musician, podcaster and former lead guitarist of Mumford & Sons, Winston Marshall, as well as Union committee members Sultan Kokhar (Chair of Consultative Committee) and Oscar Whittle (Director of Research) spoke against the motion.

Rachel Haddad opened the debate for the proposition, explaining that populism is a force which slowly chips away at the foundations of democracy, naming Trump and Modi as key perpetrators. She continued by suggesting that populism also sows divisions in many areas of society, giving Trump’s ‘muslim ban’ as a key example. Her opening speech was also peppered with jovial remarks and digs at opposition speaker, Sultan Khokhar, commenting on his various attempts at assuming office in a number of different student societies – and even in his own JCR.

Responding to Haddad and speaking first for the opposition was Sultan Khokhar. He claimed that opposition to populism amounts to “slander and denigration” of the average man’s intelligence. 

After introducing the proposition speakers, Khokhar argued that populism only arises when ordinary citizens decide that enough is enough, and that the existing system has failed them. He conceded that it was understandable that many people have a disdain for populism; right-wing populists often promise the world before failing to deliver meaningful change. However, he went on to argue that populists are democratically elected, and that it is not the populists themselves that we should blame for developments like Roe v. Wade. He instead blamed the weak checks and balances present in many political systems for such losses of freedom. He finished his speech with the assertion that populism is the purest form of democracy and that we should reclaim it, not abandon it altogether. 

Oli Dugmore, head of news and politics at JOE Media, opened the proposition’s first rebuttal, reminding the audience not to fall for the ploy that populism is not as much a threat to democracy as other issues.

He continued by joking that he had only just spoken at the Cambridge Union in a debate entitled “This House Believes Modern Technology Will Destroy Liberal Democracy” this past Hilary Term. In a swift change of tone, Dugmore produced a .223 Remington bullet, drawing reference to the January 6th Capitol riots, stating: “[they] did the right thing for the wrong reasons.” He took the time to take a point of information from the audience, joke about his podcast on LBC with Pelosi, and even managed to exclaim “bless you” to someone as their sneeze interrupted the concluding moments of his time at the despatch box. Dugmore finished his speech by stating that populism is the greatest challenge of our times.

Speaking second for the opposition was Director of Research Oscar Whittle, a first year at St. John’s College. Whittle began his speech with the concession that, as a student of politics and a listener of The Rest is Politics, he had – before preparing for his speech – taken for granted that populism is an evil. 

However, he noted that what had made populism the subject of disdain was not the consequences of the ideology in itself, but the politicians who had used it as a manipulative strategy. Populists politicians on both sides of the spectrum make undeliverable and outlandish promises to the electorates which, once in office, they cannot deliver. His solution to this was similar to Khokar’s: we ought to reclaim populism, because ordinary people ought to be represented by their governments. He finished with the argument that democracy is sick, and that the only way to save it is to “make populism great again”.

Following Whittle’s speech, the debate was opened to the rest of the chamber. Of the evening’s two floor speakers, one was ex-President Charlie Mackintosh. He likened populist sentiments to Martin Luther’s condemnation of the Catholic church’s failure to keep up with the needs of his followers. He went on to quote Luther’s famous line “hier stehe ich” numerous times, including in his final remarks.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi was last to speak for the proposition and – following a long day of engagements – she began her speech by accusing modern populism of upholding “Ethno-nationalism”. She 

contrasted this with the populism of 200 years ago under Andrew Jackson, who is known as the founding father of populism. Her main case revolved around the fact that political arguments of 200 years ago shouldn’t necessarily be upheld as ones we use today. Eight points of information were raised during Pelosi’s speech – none of which were entertained by the ex-Speaker of the House. Her closing remarks took issue with one of the points repeatedly raised by the opposition: that a rejection of populism questions ordinary voters’ knowledge of their own interests. She argued that populism on the ground in its current form (emphasis added by Cherwell) is a threat to democracy. 

Winston Marshall spoke last and closed the debate for the opposition. He began his speech with the remark that when he was younger “the word ‘woman’ meant someone who doesn’t have a cock”. The most notable aspect of his speech was his back and forth with Pelosi, who took issue with his argument equating the January 6th Capitol riots with progressives’ 2020 attack on the federal courthouse in Oregon. Later in his speech he attacked Pelosi’s claim that the 2016 presidential election had been hijacked, to which she plainly responded: “it was”.

Throughout his speech, Marshall attacked a number of groups who he argued were in cahoots with political actors around the world. He accused Big Pharma, Big Tech, Davos, Brussels, and large corporations (among others) of undermining democratic processes. Finally, he closed the debate with a list of headlines by media outlets, many of which cited democracy or voters as being “the problem”. He used these as evidence that media elites, too, disdain the views of ordinary people. 

In the Members’ bar, President Louis Wilson announced that the Ayes had swept the debate 177–68 in favour of the motion.

Reading political autobiographies, so you don’t have to

Image credits: U.K. Prime Minister / OGL 3 via Wikimedia Commons

Publishing a book has long been a trend for those leaving government in the UK. Memoirs and autobiographies are naturally intriguing, offering us the promise of a peek behind a curtain. We understand that our perception of characters and events is being managed or ‘spun’, yet we crave authenticity, because we know it’s in short supply. This gives politicians an opportunity to sell us their perspectives and narratives on their time in office. In my hastily scribbled notes the names Blair, Cameron, Hancock, Truss & Johnson leap out. When I consider the legacies of this collection, the emotional cocktail is complicated. The adjective “breathtaking” emerges, begging for unprintable collocations.

In the slow-motion car crash of British politics, how do we feel about politicians profiting from their efforts at self-justification? Tony Blair neatly sidestepped this criticism by donating the profits from A Journey to the armed services’ charity the Royal British Legion, who presumably appreciated the money all the more after Afghanistan and Iraq. It seems unlikely that Blair wrote the book for his critics, given the strength of feeling among them. I suspect it was written for his supporters, and himself. If any of you are wondering, it turns out that Blair thinks he did quite well in the circumstances, actually.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, so does Cameron. Dave would have us believe that the Brexit referendum was a political inevitability. What’s most interesting about his effort For the Record is that he is very aware of the impact of the errors of his leadership. Disappointingly, he has forgiven himself rather more quickly and easily than the country has. For the record, For the Record is an astonishingly naive title. Sorry Dave, your record definitely speaks for itself. Similarly, Matt Hancock’s Pandemic Diaries are not, in fact, diaries because diaries are written at the same time as the events they describe, and he is quite clear in his book that it wasn’t. With what he probably believes is bravery, Hancock is emphatic that he makes no apologies for his handling of the pandemic. This begs the question of whether anyone else thinks he ‘handled’ the pandemic.

Liz Truss’ tenure (“term” would be stretching things) has been mainly known for its brevity and severe damage to the economy. The title of her account Ten Years to Save the West completely turns these defining characteristics upside down. Are we to believe that if Liz were elected President of the Western World with ten years of grace it would somehow go well? Much has been made of her husband’s prediction that “it would all end in tears”, Liz mainly seems to attribute her troubles to saboteurs inside her party, the civil service, the Bank of England, and possibly even the nature of reality itself. There’s an old saying that Liz may need to hear, when you point a finger, you generally find three pointing back. In defiance of constitutional convention, she reveals details of the last confidential audience she had with Queen Elizabeth II shortly before the latter’s death (almost certainly completely unrelated). After hearing an outline of Truss’ economic ideas, the most experienced diplomat on planet Earth cautioned her PM to “pace yourself”, we are told. The vignette ends with: “Maybe I should have listened.” ‘Maybe?’ said everyone else under their breath.

This admittedly cherry-picked selection of the modern British political memoir strongly suggests a tendency to the self-serving. As an optimist, I feel sure that the efforts to ignore the critics and rewrite history are unsuccessful. I wonder how many of the people who would ‘rather go for a pint with Boris’ will not only buy the as-yet unpublished memoir but also go along with the picture it paints. I also wonder what a psychologist would make of this literary genre. I’m willing to go out on a limb and make some predictions. BJ’s book will probably justify his reportedly seven-figure advance payment, and will certainly attempt to justify the choices its author made in power. The title will be grandiose. The portrait will be of an embattled and misunderstood lone wolf, doing their best against impossible odds and going down fighting. It is always thus. There will be enough inflammatory and previously unseen detail to capture our interest briefly, but the book will misfire, and will not quite manage to achieve its true goal of shielding the ego and record of its author from the implacable weight of history.

These books are too often a magic mirror for their true audience, the author, reflecting a parallel reality that lets them off the hook. It used to be a cliché that all political careers end in failure, politicians were expected to accept their blunders and personal lapses. In contrast, many ex-PMs and ministers today display a kind of narcissistic defensiveness, focused on obscuring, excusing and positioning themselves. I prefer the millennial tendency towards emotional intelligence, the understanding that mistakes need to be owned and genuine apologies are not qualified in the same breath they are made. Ultimately, these autobiographies all reveal and confirm plenty about the people who write them, just not necessarily the things they would prefer us to know.

Night porters: Student safety jeopardised at University College

Image credits: Txllxt TxllxT / CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons

Your college matters. It can define everything – from the state of your accommodation to the quality of your tutoring. At University College, it also determines how safe you are. We remain one of the only colleges not to have Porters in our Lodge at night. This presents a very real and present danger to the safety, security and welfare of our College community. 

Objections have been raised multiple times over. We’ve had a series of JCR motions, challenged College, and, as you may even remember, published a Cherwell article in October. Each of these attempts has clearly failed, but I am trying one last time to make it known to the student population just how indefensible this current situation is. 

I was inspired to write this article by a project I undertook over the Easter vacation. I got in contact with my fellow Welfare Reps at as many colleges as I could in order to find out how Night Porters have helped their students. The number of submissions was substantial, and I’m grateful to everyone who contributed. While each of the over 30 statements represented a ringing endorsement of the necessity of Night Porters, a few stood out in particular. One student stated how the porters were substantially helpful, even going so far as to find them a room for the night, after a friend made them feel extremely uncomfortable while staying overnight. Another student, having experienced a serious medical emergency, noted that they would have risked significantly more severe illness, or even death, had the Night Porters not assisted. Finally, one response recalled someone who was being chased down the street by an attacker and was only kept safe due to the Night Porters’ intervention. 

The message of this report, which I will also be delivering to College shortly, is clear and unequivocal. It is certain that incidents across Oxford have occurred,and will continue to occur, where Night Porters were essential to providing first aid, welfare support, and generally protecting the safety of students. If any one of these incidents had taken place at University College between the hours of 11pm and 7am, the outcome could have been significantly (or even fatally) worse. 

Most strikingly, the college defibrillator remains in the Lodge overnight, and is thus inaccessible at short notice. However, I should note that we’re hoping to make some progress on this in the coming weeks. 

My deep fear is that our college is simply hoping that nothing will happen. I’m confident that almost every student at University College would agree that the current system—simply phoning the Oxford University Security Services in case of emergency—is both inefficient and often unhelpful. Most importantly, it doesn’t come close to providing the service that Night Porters at other colleges consistently do. 

To me, this whole situation only suggests that University College are not giving sufficient consideration to student welfare. Unfortunately, my suspicion is that the failure to implement Night Porters is the result of their unwillingness to spend the necessary funds. I know that this saga has already begun to harm the College’s reputation, and to be honest, long may it continue. I hope, if anything, that through this article it becomes clear to the student population that ours is a College that doesn’t show appropriate care for the safety of its community. 

My message to College is simple – stop hoping something won’t happen, and take real action to ensure that it doesn’t.

When asked to comment, a spokesperson for University College told Cherwell

“University College has two resident caretakers and three resident Junior Deans at its main High Street site. It has one resident caretaker and two resident Junior Deans at its annexe. Caretakers and Junior Deans are on-call overnight.

“Overnight, the Lodge phones divert to OUSS, which manages all calls and contacts on-duty resident staff who respond as appropriate.

“OUSS will assist any student who has locked themselves out of their room overnight.

“Should a fire alarm activate, college caretakers and OUSS staff are alerted immediately. Between 2200 and 0800 the Fire and Rescue Service are also alerted automatically and will attend the College.

“First aid kits and the AED are accessible to on-duty resident caretakers 24 hours a day, who will support students appropriately. In the event of a medical or other emergency then, as under previous arrangements, students should call 999. Then, if asking emergency services to attend college premises, students may ring OUSS so that a resident caretaker or other member of college or university staff can provide any assistance that the emergency services may require.

“All students have been made aware of these arrangements, and the College has agreed with the JCR ad MCR that it will review them at the end of the academic year.

“Univ remains committed to the safety and wellbeing of its students and staff.”