If you read last week’s article, those glorious hats
should now be adorning your rain-drenched hair. Do not think,
however, that just because it is cold, and you have a big bright
hat on, you can hide away from having a suitable top. Tops are one of the hardest things to get right. The colours,
the shapes, the sizes – there is so much that can go wrong
– and so little that ever goes completely right. Boys: It is important not to assume that
every t-shirt that looks like your size is your size. Having
found the appropriate chest size, look at the length. With your
arms in the air, the t-shirt should just reach the top of your
waistband (assuming you aren’t wearing your trousers half
way down your bum, or around your rib cage). The colour really can be anything you like, but originality is
key, so try your best. As it is chilly, a nice jumper always
looks good. Preferably vnecked, and non-stripey. Stripes are
everywhere, as Gap goes on sale. Shirts look good, but I am not a fan of the ‘I look smart
casual, because I have a smart shirt but haven’t tucked it
in’. I think there is definite evidence to show that tucked
in shirts, pulled out (so it doesn’t look like a skin tight
body warmer) look very good. With rolled up sleeves, they
definitely suit those of you with boatie hats, or fedoras (I like
to think I can advise the minority too). Girls: Watch out for the size. Your breasts,
and for that matter your bra, are very important here. If you are
going to wear a tight top, don’t wear a ruffled bra, and
make sure your bra fits – no one wants to see back spillage.
If you have big breasts DO NOT be overly summery, i.e., avoid too
much ornamentation and busy patterns. Halter necks can look good,
but if you have big breasts, do some damage limitation. If you are less well-endowed in the chest area, then you can
get away with anything – I think loose tie halter necks look
especially good. Colour, shape, design – paying more
definitely means getting more. Even if two t-shirts look the
same, always get the more expensive one – it will have
subtle tailoring that makes the top look like it fits. Beware of
the mass produced t-shirts – vintage style is only vintage
if it isn’t worn by anybody else. I also offer a caveat about strapless bras. They have a
tendency to pre-occupy the wearer, causing them to
‘hoist’ at every opportunity. Also, they tend to pull
your breasts down, making them look saggy. Two essential
accessories: double-sided sellotape – keep those boob tubes
over your breasts. And duct tape: keep those breasts in check (I
have not tested the duct tape advice – it seems intrusive
and painful. I just stick to bras). And if you are going to wear spaghetti tops, white bras with
black tops are not attractive. Be subtle – yes, the boys do
look at your breasts, regardless of what you wear, or how you
wear it.ARCHIVE: 2nd week TT 2004 

For Cherwell, maintaining editorial independence is vital. We are run entirely by and for students. To ensure independence, we receive no funding from the University and are reliant on obtaining other income, such as advertisements. Due to the current global situation, such sources are being limited significantly and we anticipate a tough time ahead – for us and fellow student journalists across the country.

So, if you can, please consider donating. We really appreciate any support you’re able to provide; it’ll all go towards helping with our running costs. Even if you can't support us monetarily, please consider sharing articles with friends, families, colleagues - it all helps!

Thank you!