‘The Game’ is probably the most interesting thing you’ll find in the biography section in Blackwells. Sure, you’ve got your politician’s autobiographies, and your Billy Shakespeare, and sure, they’ve done some pretty inspiring things. But they’re not going to teach you how to get laid.And that’s what Neil Strauss (alias ‘Style’) claims to do. But do these sure-fire seduction techniques themselves translate geographically? The differences between LA and its glamorous nightlife seem a world away from Oxford, sheltering from the rain in this quaint, antiquated bookshop. Surely techniques that work on a woman in LA cannot and will not work in Oxford University – home of a more ‘discerning’ breed of romantic; the sexually frustrated and overly intellectualised.
A Boy’s Take
The more I explored Strauss’ book (not the greatest paragon of literary achievement, I’ll admit) I realised I was already familiar with much of its advice. Pick up terminology such as ‘wingman’ and ‘cockblock’ are now firmly established into the popular consciousness of our generation. I do not consider myself a ‘ladies man’ by any stretch of the imagination, but much of it was also common sense. When has winning over a girl’s friends first to get her approval ever been a secret? Playing hard to get, which is at the core of much of Strauss’ views on seduction, I learnt aged seven in the playground during kiss-chase. Appearing unavailable, but also flirty, whether boy or girl, can clearly only add to your attractiveness.
Everybody knows that anything worth having is a challenge to get. Strauss believes that even if you don’t think that you are worth having, at least try to come across like you are. Confidence is everything; another thing that you don’t need to have read ‘The Game’ to have worked out.
With Strauss’ book, socializing and seduction are reduced to quasi-scientific jargon. Nothing to do with seduction is intangible or spontaneous. Absolutely everything can be broken down to logical steps to achieve a predetermined goal. Actually, the main character trait which Style and his buddies MPUAs betray is just extreme nerdiness. When he receives a phone call from one of his partners, you can’t help thinking this it’s more World of Warcraft than Sunset Boulevard: “I was in a two set and I was trying to neg the target but I got IOIs [Indicators Of Interest] from the obstacle, should I have DLV-ed [Demonstration of Lower Value] or DHV-ed [Demonstration of Higher Value], assuming that she was a SHB 11 [Super Hot Babe, on a scale of 1-10]?”
Though, at times you might pity the obsessive behaviour of Style et al., you can’t lie that they get extraordinary results, batting far and away beyond their average. Strauss, himself a skinny, balding, self-proclaimed geek managed to get Britney Spears’ phone number (back in the days when I assume she was considered attractive)
But should we feel bad consciously manipulating girls through Strauss’ techniques? It’s certainly different from how I’ve considered relationships with the fairer sex and dating in general thus far.
Whether through nature or nurture, I’ve grown up firmly believing that the best way for boys to attract girls is through being chivalrous and nice; genuine and honest. The right kind of girl would appreciate the subtleties of these qualities, I thought.
Wrong, according to Strauss. I had to rewire all my preconceived views on socialising and go out of my comfort-zone and against my instincts.
First off, I had to compete with AMOGs (Alpha Male of the Group) and indulge in ‘negging’ and ‘peacocking’, the two bastions of his routines. Where better than a Thursday night Bridge, the pinaccle of Oxford nightlife?
Strauss defines ‘negging’ as “actively demonstrating a lack of interest in a beautiful woman by making an ambiguous statement, insulting her in a way that appears accidental, or offering constructive criticism.” Set piece lines such as “You’d totally be my type if I wasn’t gay” or “I like your nails, are they fake?” apparently work wonders. Simple enough concept? I tried it out. Approaching a very pretty, curvy blonde girl with the line: “Hey, I like your jumper, is it meant to be that tight?” I would love to tell you that she completely bought it and we immediately started getting off, but all I received was an expletive directed and the sight of her back as she walked away. That’ll be awkward when we run into each other on Cornmarket.
‘Peacocking’ is another technique that Strauss lives by, defined as “to dress in loud clothing or with flashy accoutrements in order to get attention from women.” Staples in any self-respecting MPUA’s [Master Pick Up Artist] wardrobe must include: leather trousers, feather bowers and ostentatious dangling ear rings akin to Andre Agassi circa 1983. So a pink sequined cowboy hat and I’m in business? Excellent.
Sadly, dressing in ridiculous clothing to attract attention to yourself is nothing new to our university city. Everyone seems to be doing it already. I recently wore a cowboy hat out to a bar and rather than attracting girls’ attention, more than one person asked me which bop I’d just come from. ‘Peacocking’ was a resounding failure in Oxford where outlandish (fancy) dress is just an everyday occurrence. University towns are the places where strangers don’t bat an eyelid if you walked around the city 24/7 in black tie.
In the battle of the sexes, says Strauss, knowledge is power. If you can show somebody that you have them sussed out with your greater understanding of human behaviour to be able to read their personality like a book, then you can have them eating out of the palm of your hand. But do these techniques work? I couldn’t say. Perhaps sometimes in some situations with some girls they do. Another line of thinking would be that Strauss is in fact overthinking everything, he should just have gone to Fuzzy Ducks on a Wednesday night…
A Girl’s Take
Every wannabe lad worth his rock salt has read ‘The Game’. I’ve been explained the basic rules many a time, usually accompanied by reams of success stories, “I totally picked up this girl using this line from the Game and then we slept together.” Er, very unlikely. In fact, I’d say nigh on impossible in Oxford. Very few girls are going to go for ‘I’m gay’ followed by lunge, or listen to a half-hour long spiel of neg-isolate-kiss-close – I’ve just handed in an essay and I want to dance on the cheese floor with my girlfriends.
However, in the spirit of emancipation, liberation and all things feminist, I’m prepared to try out these moves myself. If they (supposedly) work for boys, then maybe they’re worth a try for me.
9.30 am, ready to set off to the Rad Cam with Shakespeare and Macbook in hand, I add a cheeky pair of high heels and a beret. Naturally, I bought it for a bop, but I thought as an act of peacocking it’s simple. But getting to an empty desk was embarrassing rather than a confidence boost, and I’m pretty sure that the looks I was getting were disdainful for the clip-clop noise my heels were making on the floor. Approaching two boys whispering by the photocopying machine, I tried out a literature-related neg on one of them. (Strauss rates his targets on a 1-10 scale, I’d say the two I had in front on me were a 5 and 5.5. Not great, but its slim pickings out there, and no amount of flirting is going to solve that.) Pointing to the Cambridge Companion to Hamlet, “Ah, wise move to start with the easy stuff.” After an initial quizzical look at my heels, conversation was facilitated, and email addresses were exchanged (we’re doing the same special author dontcha know?) although it was more along the lines of how far had I got in the faculty reading list than shall we go back to my room and have sex.
Encouraged by my small success I gave it a go in the Bridge that evening. I had little trouble with peacocking in this situation, my make-up and short skirt routine were surely the definition of it to begin with. But when I got into the Bridge, all psyched up and ready to get my game on, I realized that none of this was necessary for me. Because the brutal truth is, that with the majority of unattached boys (I won’t say every) a simple lunge works wonders. Seduction techniques are fundamentally unnecessary. Sure, Strauss’ rules will work, but a flirty neg and memorized opener won’t work any better than anything else – they may be clever, but these boys aren’t the hardest challenge to crack.
