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Review: Goon

Doug Glatt is a goon, in more ways than one. The font of all knowledge that is Wikipedia tells us that a goon is ‘a personal bodyguard or a ruffian who is kept on staff to intimidate or batter people’. Doug does all of these things, and more. Somewhat ostracised by his brainy family, he is eventually signed to a Canadian ice-hockey team as in ‘enforcer’, which means he is to beat up anyone who gets in his team’s way. Because, you know, ice-hockey is the only professional sport where, not only does fighting occur an awful lot, but it seems to be actively encouraged.

This may seem like a new and unique plot, but actually, it’s been done before. And it will be done again. Slap Shot (1977) followed pretty much exactly this premise, and did remarkably well at box office, as well as being praised as the greatest hockey film of time, beating out stiff competition such as The Mighty Ducks, and, er, …(?) Whilst Goon was actually based on a true story, it plays out very similar to a song by Warren Zevon called ‘Hit Somebody’, and so the success of this movie must have been particularly tedious for filmmaker Kevin Smith, who is also in the process of making a hockey film based on that same song. Ouch.

The eponymous Goon is played by Seann William Scott, who surprises everyone but not simply reprising Stifler, but by playing a character who is somehow much, much dumber. However, he is good-natured at heart and his ridiculous bumbling lines and physical actions are really what make this film what it is: a laugh out loud comedy. It appears that director Michael Dowse really doesn’t give a puck when it comes to gratituous violence. The blood and gore in this movie makes the Canadian seal hunt look tame in comparison.

Starring alongside Scott are Liev Schreiber as Ross Rhea, the infamous enforcer of a rival team who Glatt will inevitably face at some point, and Alison Pill as Eva, a promiscuous local girl with whom Glatt falls in love. All in all, this film isn’t smart, nor does it try to be. It comes out, fists a-blazing, and doesn’t let up till the final buzzer, and it’s not just the laughter that’ll have you in stitches.

2 STARS

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