We’re all aware of the stereotypes surrounding Valentine’s Day for the Single Girl. In theory we should have all been at home drunkenly beating a love-shaped piñata. Or sticking pins into the voodoo-dolls of our previous romantic failings.
In practice though, of course we weren’t even considering doing anything so tragic and lame.
You probably won’t believe me when I say I don’t actually mind Valentine’s Day, I just find it a little bit materialistic, unoriginal and boring… I mean if you’re going to make the person you love feel special, why all do it on the same day?
Maybe that does sound a bit bitter… Let’s move on shall we? So, V-day was going to be a plan-free day, or at least I had hoped it would be. But on Tuesday last week I was bullied (I promise I was bullied) into doing a charity ‘Take Me Out’. So like a true hero, if I’m going down, I like to take a friend with me…
We spent the entire journey to Destination Hell arguing about who had forced who into the ordeal and why would we agree to do something so stupid and cringing?!
Guess which two girls walked away with the first dates?
Admittedly my date didn’t get much choice in the matter; it was more of a default situation. He’d walked out on to the stage and barely thirty seconds into his video about him, every girl had popped her balloon.
It was awful.
But not awful enough to warrant me sticking up my hand to shout about how I’d popped my balloon by mistake.
I’m going to justify my undignified behaviour by saying I felt bad for him.
Esmeralda’s performance was a lot stronger than mine – some would even say a little too strong.
When asked which kind of dog she would be, the crowd were left shocked and stunned (but not as shocked and stunned as she was) by her “I’d be a very dirty bitch!” The other girls didn’t really stand a chance after that bombshell.
It may not be the most orthodox route to a Valentine’s Date but the main thing is, we both got one! Esmeralda may have had a lot of explaining to do and mine may have not even wanted to be there but…
The piñata lives on (for another year at least).