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Oriel freshers hold scone sale following party trouble

Oriel College freshers are hosting a charity cream tea sale this Saturday 1st November, as they seek to atone for a drunken party held over matriculation weekend.

In response to a call from the Deans at the College to redeem themselves, a group of students came together to organise the fundraiser, with all proceeds from the sale going to St John’s Ambulance. Cream teas will be sold for £3, and the event will take place in the Oriel College Porter’s lodge from 10.30am until mid-day.

The idea for the fundraiser follows a riotous Matriculation weekend. A group of Oriel freshers hosted a ‘scones and rosé’ party without informing the Deans. When the event got out of hand the College raised concerns.

The Oriel freshers were summoned to meet the Deans and were berated for their actions. They were asked to come up with an idea to apologise for their mistakes, and after careful deliberations, it was agreed a cream tea sale was the perfect response, given the evident popularity of scones.

Determined to give something back to an organisation vital to the Oxford community, they asked the Deans if all proceeds might go to St John’s Ambulance charity.

Annie Hazlitt, co-organiser of ‘The Scones Say Sorry’ event, told Cherwell, “We just couldn’t think of a better charity. Having had personal experience of St John’s Ambulance I know it’s there for every Oxford student. They’re always there to catch us when we fall.”

Some Oriel freshers were particularly remorseful about the party. “We believe we’ve all learnt our lesson now”, Serena Yagoub commented. Tina Moll, a modern languages student, was less sure however, “We would do it again but with less rosé”, she suggested to Cherwell, “maybe even whiskey next time.”

Other students were keen to put the incident behind them and look forward to the charity sale. Max Mccreery, a first year PPE student, remarked, “The scones and rosé was a great idea, but anything for charity — that’s what we’re interested in.” Will Cook, another fresher, was more equivocal, telling Cherwell, “A lot of people have viewed it through rose tinted glasses.”

He went on to say that he was mindful that a bit of perspective was needed given this was Matriculation weekend.

All costs for ‘The Scones Say Sorry’ sale are being covered by the students themselves. Another Oriel fresher involved in the event stated, “It’s really gratifying how everyone’s chipping in. The whole college seems really behind this. I’ve had people coming up to me in the street asking for a room service scone delivery.”

The logistics of the event are complex. Kate Welsh, who will be responsible for brewing over two hundred cups of tea on the day, told Cherwell, “In terms of tea, as I’m not a tea drinker I’m feeling pretty daunted by the task ahead. It’s a personal barrier I’m just going to have to overcome. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’m just doing it to put on my CV.”

Stevan Boljevic secured the much sought after role of Chief Creamer for the event. He claimed, “When I was first offered the position of Chief Creamer I felt somewhat overwhelmed. I’ve never creamed so much in my life on such a tight schedule. However, now that we’ve upped the quantity of cream on offer I’m certain I can cream to everyone’s satisfaction. I’m thrilled to be working with someone as jammy as Isaac Virchis on creating the perfect scone.”

Oriel students were also quick to engage in the age old debate of jam-before-cream, or cream-before-jam on their scones. Cherwell pressed Boljevic on this issue, and was told, “I’d like to stress that following a team meeting we will be catering to all cream preferences and nobody will face discrimination on the grounds of how they want to be creamed —the customer must come first.”

Both the College and JCR President were unavailable for comment.


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