I flirt with everything that moves. Exceptions include very creepy people and most animals. But if someone is into light innuendo and mojitos, our conversation will sooner or later enter the dimension of ‘flirty’. It’s inevitable. That’s my natural way of dealing with humanity, especially after a couple of cocktails, and as long as I manage to physically restrain myself in the presence of handsome tutors, all is well.
Except that sometimes it’s not. Occasionally I come across a person who takes my coquettish ways as a sign of genuine intent and the result is often very awkward. Of course, I’m not saying that I am the world’s most desirable woman and boys and girls fall at my feet whenever I flutter my eyelashes, but neither am I unappealing.
The problem I am trying to describe is unintentionally leading someone on, and then not knowing what to do about it. Like when you spend an entire crewdate pennying one pretty guy and laughing at his drunken stories because that’s just what you do, but then at Park End you realise that he’s buying you lots of drinks and all the girls are giggling about your conquest.
Or when you’re dancing with the man in a Batman costume at a bop because you fricking love Batman, and forget that sexy-dancing may send a message you don’t really want to send. Of course, no one should feel entitled to sex just because they bought someone a few vodkas. On the other hand, you can understand how it would make a guy feel like a girl’s into him. No one has ever been nasty or unpleasant to me when I rejected them after hours of apparently not-so-harmless flirting, but the awkwardness is tough.
I’m not going to lie and pretend that having someone’s (non-creepy!) attention isn’t a massive ego boost. Still, the oh-my-god-aren’t-I-the-greatest effect wears off pretty quickly, and you start feeling, as my grandmother would put it, like a tease. I’ve been used in this way before.
A sexy man, usually in a suit, usually from Christ Church, suddenly appears in whatever bar I’m in and after some heavy flirting and my raised expectations, he decides to leave my life forever. Maybe he doesn’t really fancy me. Maybe he just likes to tell women what he’d like to do to them later (it was relevant to the conversation).
Either way, I’ve boosted his ego, served my purpose, and now I’m dismissed. I was played, and didn’t even get to see him naked. Surely, after an experience like that, I should be more sensitive and flirt responsibly? Not constantly lead people on? Like any good resolution, I don’t expect it to last past the next crew date…
