Good morning! Is it? I don’t see why not. Well, you said that yesterday and we all know how that went don’t we? Yes, but – But? Today is a new- A new beginning? Yes, today is a new beginning. And why shouldn’t it be? Well, let me see… I shouldn’t have asked. How did yesterday actually go? Can you even remember? Cast your mind back. Did you leave the house when you planned? No, but that- No ‘buts’! You failed. You set yourself a target and you failed. So what happened then? You have to run to the station and you get all hot and bothered. Actually, let me revise that: you looked bloody awful. Anyway you finally make it into work – God knows how – and lo and behold! A truly, stupendously, cataclysmically awful day.
Do you fancy Danny? Yes. Is he single? Yes. Has Charlotte told you that you should talk to him or – God forbid – ask him out? Yes. Do you think you should? Yes. Did you avoid him all day at all costs, reversing rapidly into the stationery cupboard when he walked past with his friends? Yes. You are an embarrassment. I know. And while we’re on the topic, let’s talk about those friends of his. What about them? They are better than you. Take Lucy as an example. She started working with you what… six months ago? Yes? She started a good year and a half after you and yet she’s already been promoted to team leader! Why haven’t you done anything like that? Well she had all that experience at her old job. And so did you when you joined. I know. And what did you do about it? Nothing. Why didn’t your experience get you promoted to team leader after six months? I don’t know.
That’s half the problem! You don’t seem to know anything. You’re just pathetic. Please don’t bully me. Who’s bullying you? I’m just trying to help. Like now, for instance, you’ve only got ten minutes before you have to get that train and you haven’t even finished getting dressed! Well that’s because I’ve been sitting here listening to you. Today was meant to be a new beginning. I was going to get things done today. I’ve got aims. I’ve got objectives. I can be a better person. I’ve got my appraisal with Nick today and I‘m going to speak to him about possibly getting some more responsibilities, helping Lucy out a bit so I could potentially cover for her when she goes on holiday next week. Also, I know that Danny has to come over to our side this afternoon to discuss the new project and I’ll chat to him then, just casual stuff. Charlotte tells me he quite likes the theatre and I used to do a bit of am dram back in the day.
I have to believe in myself. If I keep letting myself listen to all your negativity and self-loathing I’ll just end up letting life pass me by and I can’t let that happen. Don’t. What? You were going to say something. Was I? Yes. You were going to say that I’ve already let life pass me by. Like you say, I’ve been there for ages compared to Lucy and still I’m in the same position and she’s team leader. Likewise, I’ve been basically in love with Danny for months – I can’t stop thinking about him and my heart almost stops when he walks by – and I haven’t said anything. I hide in stationery cupboards! I’m a grown man and I’m pathetic. And I know all of this. I can see it plainly before my eyes and yet nothing ever happens.
Why can I never change? Maybe this is just it. Maybe this is what life is. But it can’t be! How could human civilisation carry on if everyone felt like this? Lucy doesn’t feel like this. Danny doesn’t feel like this. They have fantastic lives. Lucy has just got married, they have a lovely house, an amazing car, she’s just been promoted and I know Nick thinks she’s great so she’ll probably be moving into the goldfish-bowl before Christmas! How does she manage everything so brilliantly? And as for Danny – he’s funny, he’s intelligent, he’s kind, and he’s utterly gorgeous. How could he ever possibly fancy me? Actually, Charlotte said he might.
And what would Charlotte know? She’s not exactly what one could call an expert in the field of love is she? And anyway she was probably just flattering you so you’d stop going on about it. No, you’re probably right. I’m hopeless, absolutely hopeless. I should just be happy with what I’ve got. But I’m not happy. Other people seem to do so well. Why shouldn’t I? I’m just as deserving as them. I am going to do well. I have decided. I’m going to go into that appraisal, dazzle Nick and get a promotion. And then I’m just going to go for it and ask Danny out on a date. I may as well. I haven’t got anything to lose. All he can say is no. Here we go – my new beginning! Have you seen the time? You’re going to miss that train. Don’t bother running, you’ll never make it. Just call Nick again. How do you think that’ll go down in the appraisal? So much for a new beginning. There’s always tomorrow.
