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Pandora extols wisdom, seated upon box

Pandora the cat presents her own coping mechanisms for Oxford life.

With 5th Week Blues nearly behind us, Pandora (Cherwell Life’s omniscient cat) decides to give her own advice on how to deal with the pressures Oxford may still bring…


My tutor still says my collection was poor.

But I had a nice holiday.

Conclusion: he is a fool.


I have a tutorial to prepare for.

But I am awfully stressed.

Conclusion: take nap.


I should probably read some books.

But the bar is open.

Conclusion: wine.


I hear people chat shit about me in the bar.

But I do not care for these people.

Conclusion: do not care.


The tomcat behind the bar winks. He says I should go to Cellar.

But mother would be dubious.

Conclusion: wink back.

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