Emma Leech (Second year, French & Italian, St. Anne’s)
Nicky tried to impress me from the off with talk about her upcoming ‘movement audition’ but her moves on this date left a lot to be desired. We treated ourselves to the local liquor of Balliol bar which proved only slightly more colourful than her language (see: “we need to work, bitch”). Our conversation flowed well, as we did a detailed character assassination of every other Cherwell staff member, proving true the old tale that Cherwell people are, in fact, very boring in conversation. The date was interrupted halfway through by a visit from her friend. I’m a modern girl, but the unsolicited addition of a third person to our date frankly put me on edge. The date was unceremoniously cut short with the proclamation of, “I was hoping you’d be gone by eleven thirty,” and her retrieval of her laptop so she could apply for an internship. And so I was ejected, drunk and alone, onto Broad Street. Lovely.
Out of 10? 3.6
Looks? Increasingly fuzzy with time
Personality? Funnier in print
2nd date? Like a Balliol Blue, this was fun but never again
Nicola Dwornik (Second year, AMH, Balliol)
Emma was one of those ‘I’ll drink my cider with a straw’ kind of gals. I suppose I should have expected such animalistic behaviour given that she’d just expressed an overt desire to order a Balliol Blue—something Emma liked to call a ‘cocktail’. Yet, despite wearing edgy sky blue creps, letting a crisp topple from her mouth (only to later eat it from her lap) and spilling her drink twice, Emma definitely surpassed my initial expectations. Her conversational topics proved impressively varied, spanning from bitching about Cherwell staff, to bitching about Cherwell staff some more. But, with time catching up with us, and sparks still flying, I quickly realised I had to make my sentiments known. Living out of college, I expressed a deep regret at the impossibility of showing her a Balliol room. This disappointment was overcome quickly though—with half-price vodka shots.
Out of 10? A solid 5
Looks? Like she should learn table manners
Personality? Funnier than in print
2nd date? Perhaps if her taste in alcohol improves