Love Oxland: ‘I was surprised when Fred turned on a puppy and aggressively kicked it’

Izzy Agerbak

Second Year, PPE

Worcester

Naïve young Izzy expected a wholesome afternoon in the pub, sipping on cider, with good chat flowing. Alas, this was not the case. After a pleasant greeting and a few minutes chatting, I was taken by surprise when my date turned on a puppy and aggressively kicked it. Obviously, I was horrified (should have called the RSPCA on reflection). After this, I started feeling a bit weird about the vibes and began downing drinks to numb the trauma. To end a nightmarish afternoon, I expelled the contents of my stomach all over my date, who had to call paramedics, although honestly I was just glad that it cut short my conversation with Mr Animal-Beater.

What was your first impression?

Smiley but a teensy bit vanilla

Personality?

He helped me concoct the above tale, so obviously pretty darn witty

Any awkward moments?

Dog-kicking aside, we are very smooth, cool individuals, so really no awkwardness at all

As I stood on the street outside the pub, smelling the acrid whiffs from many years of beer disposal, I wondered whether this was the right setting for romance. But de- spite some confusion about where we were meeting, I was quickly able to escape the stink. After buying beers, we went to one of the tables and rapidly broke through the strangeness of our Cherwell- sponsored love lives. We chatted about our upbringings, Oxford ste- reotypes, and even formulated an artificial date to put in the paper. Perhaps a more exciting date than the reality, but I am glad that we did not have to experience our fake date and instead had a lovely chat together.

What was your first impression?

I didn’t get stood up!

Personality?

Sweet, kind, with strong humour

Any awkward moments?

A sweaty mutual friend arriving at the end of the date and insisting on taking photos of us