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Sunday, July 3, 2022

John Evelyn: MT21 Week 5

As Steve Jobs once said, ‘you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards’. Never have more inspirational words been spoken. 

Michaelmas was always destined to be unpredictable. It took six weeks to sharpen the knife but when the dagger was finally plunged, many were surprised to see The Tobacco Dispenser clutching the weapon – et tu, Mr Flip Flop?  John Evelyn would like to advise The Camera Man to ensure flash is on in future, to avoid such nasty surprises coming out of left field. 

Certainly one of the cleanest slatings in a while, Jevelyn hears The Runner Up was proud to see his old partner in crime, pulling the strings once more. The Merton Mystery and Sgt. Major Gilet were quick to line up also, following the example set by the ghost of the Late Etonian earlier in the week. Interestingly, the final string to the quartet caused a great deal of market turbulence, with the Euro performing remarkably strongly. 

At the time of writing it is unclear whether The Camera Man still has much of a squad to work with. PV13 is probably too busy posting facebook stories to notice the drama, whilst North London’s Demeter has decided to resurrect his short lived acting career. On the bright side, John Evelyn would like to draw The Camera Man’s attention to the week 4 edition, reminding him that he still has his paper speech to look forward to and he now even has an opposition speaker to roast! 

Amongst all the election chatter it would be easy to forget the comical psychodrama unfolding amongst the Secretary’s Committee. Mr Mrs Horvath finds herself at the center of A Fish(er)-y plot to take down Mr. Last Minute Revealed. However, given his exemplary record as a hard worker, she continues to wax lyrical about her favourite seccie to an incredulous (and mildly incensed) committee. Such a committee is also looking for a new chair to pick up the mantle from Mrs Horvath. John Evelyn notes that one candidate is overtly reminiscent of The Overcompensating Seccie Loser. Both blonde, both ineffective hacks and both belong back in the Ocean! I’m sure his Scottish predecessor will be happy to offer tips on how to back the wrong side in an election. 

Alas, eyes back on the Presidential prize. As Oxmas day draws ever closer, perhaps Lincoln will be home to the nativity, as the next Christ Church hack is born. Let’s just hope The House looks more favourably upon their new star, than the prophets who have come before.

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