CW: This is a mildly comedic column written by a drag queen agony aunt. It is not for the faint hearted, and contains sensitive topics which may cause distress to some readers.

Your favourite IBS-ridden drag-ony aunt has been giving you life advice all term. Like Nanny McPhee, Aunt Rusty has been here to help with your pillow talk problems, insecurity issues, and debaucherous debacles. She’s been dishing out important life advice five hundred words at a time; all because if you lot end up in the Warneford, no one will come to her shows. You’ve been guaranteed complete anonymity, unless she needed to use your trauma for blackmailing. Happens shockingly often. When you need her but do not want her, she shall be there; but when you want her but do not need her, she will be elbow deep in your father. Go back to your therapist – I know it’s above her paygrade, but she needs something to kill the time.

Rusty Kate will back in Hilary to help you solve your love troubles! If you would want Aunt Rusty’s help, submit your question here.

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