Aidan Balfe
2nd Year, PPE
Balliol
Ellie turned up wearing a shirt that was almost identical to mine, I didn’t know whether that was a good sign or not. Much of the entertainment for the first twenty minutes was provided by a very loud Brookes student eagerly recounting his summer sexual exploits, including an enthusiastic mime of an aggressive sexual manoeuvre. Nice. Ellie also told me about her summer: the time she punched a Chinese schoolboy, and getting angry at a child on a train who tried to talk to her. If I did learn one thing, it’s that Ellie really hates kids. I also learnt about her two greyhounds, because she just loves them so much. I did learn how to tell apart Irish and English racing greyhounds based on how many of their ears are tattooed, which is quite cool, in a way. Ellie has an interesting relationship with her twin sister. They’re like greyhounds.
Out of 10? 7
Looks? A very good looking girl
Personality? Misanthropic
2nd date? Will probably meet because of many mutual friends
Ellie Lee
2nd Year, English
Mansfield
Aidan was good at keeping the conversation going, which meant there weren’t any of those dreaded awkward silences that make you want to crawl inside yourself. However, as with almost all things in life quantity isn’t always the same as quality. One of the highlights of the night was the in-depth biography of his dog, whose history I now know more of than I do one of my housemates. His table manners were lacking somewhat, even putting his feet on the table. At one point he conspired to steal someone’s hat, which was a bit rude. Especially since it would have clashed with his immaculately composed outfit (but unfortunately for him his shirt was not as good as mine). It turned out we’d been to some of the same parties—including the Brookes boy’s rowdy birthday we were apparently crashing in the bar—I hope this doesn’t happen again. And if he does I hope he remembers I’m called Ellie. And not Emily.
Out of 10? A safe 7.5
Looks? A tamer Wadhamite
Personality? Enthusiastic
2nd date? Only if I get to meet his dog
