Wednesday, May 14, 2025
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Creaming Spires: 8th week Trinity

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As the promise of the summer beyond Trinity beckons, to far-fl ung cities or to a City internship, the golden evenings hold more promise than ever. Exams are finished and for a few blissful weeks, Arzoo’s is fully booked almost every night.

There’s only really one ingredient for a great crewdate – an ability to embarrass, and at this tail end of the year, enough data has been gathered to ensure that no one goes unsconced for long.

There’s normally one on every crewdate. The team’s skipper. He knows the true art of throwing a penny, issues shoes with authority and aplomb, and has a lifetime ban from At Thai. He’s loud, he’s brash, he’s probably sexist, but for tonight, he’s bloody good fun. 

Now that he’s caught (dominated?) your attention, how do you end up going home with him? You can always stay quiet, but he may deem you boring and lose all interest. And I just don’t have fun trying to please some guy all night.

Or you can get caught in an overzealous sconce war with him, using embarrassment as a seduction technique. This is my preferred method. You’ll either emasculate him or he will pronounce you his ‘dream woman’ and propose on the spot. (This once happened twice on one crewdate. Big Bang has a lot to answer for…)

Slip away somewhere between the bar and Parkend, because I despise a) queuing and b) the entry fee. Go and ‘explore’ his college instead. I’ve ended up naked in lakes, run amok amongst deer, sighed on bridges, rolled across mounds…the list goes on. The sex is often outdoors, somewhere strange (be safe, kids!), but if there’s an itch that just needs to be scratched…

The worst part is normally the walk home the next morning, as articles of your clothing are often marooned deep inside fl owerbeds and strewn over paths – no one wants to be the girl who has to get dressed between the bedroom and the gate by picking up abandoned tights as you go. And somehow everything seems worse when you still have army stripes faded into your face.

Memories of 1966: How should we treat the legends?

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The memory of 1966 is flagged up every time the World Cup approaches. Images of Bobby Moore in Wembley Stadium are dredged up, the story of Geoff Hurst’s hat trick is mentioned and it is often said that that team was the finest England has ever fielded. This is undoubtedly true but it is interesting and enlightening to learn what happened to these footballers who were supposedly deified by their country.

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It is not a story one would expect. It is a well known complaint of those who lived through the golden age of football that the players in that era received such little pay. The sums received were paltry, just a little more than one would expect to receive from fairly menial labour. As a prize for winning the world cup each player received a £1000 bonus, which, after taxes, was reduced to £600. After playing their last games in the 1970s, the 1966 England team could not expect to retire comfortably. They had to continue working. Many became managers, experiencing some notable success.

While none of them complained about this, it was to be expected, there is a certain pathos in the fact that so many of the former World Cup winners were forced to sell their unique collections of sporting memorabilia. Nobby Stiles announced in 2010 that his World Cup shirt, medals and other items of memorabilia accrued over a highly successful sporting career were to be auctioned so that the former footballer could ‘leave something’ to his three sons. He still lives near the Old Trafford Stadium and accrued almost £300,000 from the sale of these items. Alan Ball had to do the same. His World Cup medal and tournament cap were auctioned to raise money for his family. Since their retirement from football these players have largely been ignored and neglected by a country, which professes to love them. Only two players received a knighthood: Geoff Hurst and Bobby Charlton. They received their KBEs almost thirty years after the final. By contrast Bradley Wiggins was granted one almost immediately in the aftermath of his successes in the 2012 Olympics.

Bobby Moore died with an OBE, the same accolade granted to Gary Barlow, and the other players, were granted MBEs in the late 1990s. The honours that are flung at current sporting successes are notably lacking for these figures. Certainly none of them have vanished entirely from the public eye. Most of the surviving players can be met at Sporting Conventions where they sign memorabilia for devoted fans. However their birthdays pass by without note, their achievements remain criminally unrecognised and it is only as another World Cup draws close that rightful attention is momentarily directed towards them.

It is a curious fact that Pele is probably more famous in England than the names of Roger Hunt, Jack Charlton, Nobby Stiles, Alan Ball, George Cohen, Martin Peters or Gordon Banks. It is therefore strange that the sun washed image of a triumphant Bobby Moore on his teammates’ shoulders is so reproduced in the run up to the World Cup. When commentators recall the ‘spirit’ of 1966 they neglect the fantastic talents, which made victory on such a spectacular scale possible.

The 1966 World Cup final has been so idealised that it seems to have lost it’s meaning and, along with that, the lessons it could teach today’s footballers. They deserve a great deal more from their country than they have received. No more of them should have to sell their medals and it should be recognised that an almost forty year wait for an MBE is an insult. They are England’s greatest players, humble yet supremely talented, and if we take as much pride in the 1966 victory as we profess to then we should offer them a great deal more appreciation than they have received since their retirement. Gary Lineker, I would say, deserves to be forgotten. These men do not. Either the players who earned England its sole, lonely star should be properly recognised, appreciated and congratulated or pundits should stop mentioning them.

Sporting Rock Stars: Maria Sharapova

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Sharapova is like a tea bag. Put her into hot water and you’ll find out how strong she is.” Judy Murray has never been famed for her similes, but to take hers to its logical conclusion, we can say with some assurance that Maria Sharapova is one strong cup of tea. It seemed apt considering she has just won the 2014 Ladies Singles French Open Title to look back on the career of this tennis goddess.

Maria described her latest victory as the “hardest” she had faced in her 13 year career. Having dispatched Simona Halep of Romania (6-4, 6-7, 6-4) she now looks on to gain her second Wimbledon title.

She was the youngest ever girl to reach the final of the Australian Open Junior tennis championships at 14, and then she burst onto the tennis scene at the tender age of 14 playing in a WTA tournament at the Pacific Life Open in 2002.

Success followed swiftly. She won her first Wimbledon title at just 17, beating Serena Williams in the 2004 final as 13th seed, being the third youngest person to win the title. That same year she won the WTA Tour Championships.

Sharapova’s start to her career was all the more impressive considering the number of strong competitors she had to encounter in the woman’s game; names like the Williams sisters, Justine Henin, Lindsay Davenport, Kim Clijsters, and Amélie Mauresmo. She by no means dominated. When she initially broke to the number 1 spot in the world it was swiftly taken back by Lindsay Davenport after just one week in October 2005.

Despite the early success, rather than im- prove with age and experience, Sharapova seemed to be on the decline. Suffering from a reoccurring shoulder problem, she failed to hold onto the number one spot for a significant amount of time, succumbing to several high profile defeats, most notably in the Wimbledon tournament of 2008, having already relinquished top ranking in the world after the French Open of that year, where she lost to no154 Alla Kurdryavtseva in the 2nd round of the tournament.

Her rotator cuff tear severely damaged her career. In 2009 she was forced to take time out to recover from surgery, and dropped out of the top 100. Since then her serve has no longer had the power it once did, and as a result she has committed a significantly higher number of double faults.

Despite this, true to form, and like the proverbially strong cup of tea that she is, Sharapova returned with aplomb in 2011. She regained her spot in the top ten with a number of important victories on the tour, and came second in both the Wimble- don and Australian Open Championships. Within a year she held both the French and Australian opens. She has now won a career grand slam, and can also include an Olympic silver medal from London 2012 on her CV. Her playing style has been the subject of much praise too. Her highly individual style includes the unconventional use of the re- verse backhand, and the Sharapova “grunt” which apparently reached 101 decibels at the 2005 Wimbledon.

With over 30 tour titles, five grand slams, and innumerable modelling contracts, she’s not just a sporting star, but a style icon too.

2013-2014: The year of watery victories

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It has been a positive season for those representing Oxford across the sporting spectrum. Although there has been the odd spot of despair, much inclement weather, and a few occasions of the two combined, sport in the city of dreaming spires has flourished. Varsity successes have been plentiful – Cambridge’s Vice-Chancellor even admitted that we were better sportspeople than them – and there have even been a couple of national victories to celebrate too.

To begin with a heartwarming tale from early in the year, November saw University College’s ‘ergathon’ which sought to raise money for the late Olympic medallist Acer Nethercott, who after coxing for the University had gone on to represent Great Britain and win a silver medal, only to sadly pass away over due to a brain tumour during the Summer.

Elsewhere in the University’s sporting bub- ble there were several bruising encounters for the rugby union boys, who were unlucky to lose against both then-Premiership side Worcester Warriors, and the Russian national side. These defeats came after a testing schedule which had included several pre-season ties against top Basque sides. Meanwhile, the women’s Blues made a strong start to the year on the field, and were also part of a fundraising drive off it; a campaign to raise money to floodlight their training pitch involved engaging the men in a series of challenges, and then a naked calendar in aid of the Mind Your Head campaign was a massive success, going viral in the process. The side would then go on to win the varsity game convincingly, a credit to the University in more ways than one.

The Oxford judo club took home an impres- sive silver medal from the BUCS national cham- pionships, and the hockey club’s ‘Infrequents’ put a stunning 20 goals past Worcester in an entertaining – if one-sided – league match. Later in the year, the hockey men would win the BUCS Premier South title in stunning style too. The Varsity Ski Trip went ahead as usual at the beginning of the vacation, although this year’s was notable for a coach crash which left some hungover Oxbridge skiers briefly stranded.

The big engagement over the Christmas vacation was, however, the annual varsity rugby match at Twickenham. A tense opening gave way to Oxford dominance as Matt Janney – the man who was about to become famous as Emma Watson’s boyfriend – along with the indomitable John Carter put the Tabs to the sword. Drama was to ensue though, as last year’s hero Samson Egerton saw himself red- carded – becoming the first player to be sent off in the fixtures long history. This bump in the road barely threatened to derail a dark blue victory though; the Oxford side won in style.

Hilary began with the University’s female footballers putting the noisy neighbours from Headington in their place – with Oxford Brookes ending the match between the two sides on the wrong end of a six-nil thrashing after brilliant performances from the likes of captain Anna Green.

Unfortunately though, the award for Hilary’s outstanding sportsperson has to be given to the weather for the second year running. After the ‘#CherwellGreatStorm’ had threatened to derail Michaelmas, the rain (and floods) returned with a vengeance after Christmas, although both had luckily subsided by the time the college football season reached its climax. A Teddy Hall team which scored for fun won the league, whilst Exeter’s perennial nearly-men finally became Cuppers champions.

As the term continued the Varsity victories came thick and fast, with a fifth successive rugby league victory, a clean sweep in the badminton, netball and lacrosses victories, and yet another swimming success. Unfortunately the women’s footballers were less lucky, going down to two traumatic defeats in a rare disappointment.

The boxing club did an impressive double in the spring, winning the annual ‘Town vs. Gown’ event in February before going on to defeat the Tabs 7-2. ‘Town vs. Gown’ was particu- larly notable for the Dark Blue side’s successful female contingent.

The Easter holidays were packed with sporting treats; a tense varsity football match was followed by Cambridge’s chance for rowing revenge on the Thames, whilst there were goats galore at the subversive ‘Varsity Goat Race’. In the end, the spoils were shared, as Oxford dominated the waterborne event after Cambridge’s boat was subject to a broken oar, whilst the Tab footballers came out on top after a penalty shootout. Earlier in the holidays the women had dominated their own varsity boat race – the last time it will be held separately from the men – as both the main Blue boat and the light-weights took dominant victories at Henley.

Meanwhile, in the Alpine resort of Alpe D’Huez, our skiers slalomed their way to a BUCS silver medal in the last of the season’s snow. With Trinity came a combination of sun, thunder, and as always, cricket, and the stand-out early occasion saw the University’s female cricketers take on a star-studded MCC side which included internationals such as Claire Taylor and Charlotte Edwards. As expected, the MCC came out easy winners. The Oxford side made-up for this though, as they beat the Tabs in the Varsity twenty20 match, before the men’s match was washed out. The rugby season finally finished too, with St. Anne’s and St. John’s defeating Teddy Hall in the final of cuppers.

Five-a-side, tennis and cricket cuppers, and then summer eights, provided a fitting end to the college sporting year. A Trinity football side including two Blues players dominated the small-sided football tournament, then a combined New/St. Hilda’s side won the cricket competition, before Wadham and Oriel became the respective heads of the river on an overcast Saturday of 5th week.

It would also be remiss to forget to mention the all-conquering darts team who won the national title up in far-off Newcastle, or the go-karting team who successfully shoed the Tabs again.

All in all, it has been an encouraging year for this University’s sports teams, and after outgoing Sports Federation President Made- leine Sava told Cherwell back in October that a “huge aim of mine is to see an overall Varsity victory”, Cherwell Sport would contend that Sava can hand over to successor Thomas Carver with a clear conscience.

As such, although this article is ever-so-slightly premature given that most of the tennis and cricket varsity contests are still to come, we can look back on an uplifting year for Oxford sport. We might have fallen slightly in the overall BUCS rankings, but a strong varsity showing and a few stunning successes – let’s not forget BUCS darts glory, victory in the Athletics varsity, a or successful swimming, lacrosse, and netball seasons – bode well for next year.

Conflict of interest: Supporting England and Man United

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“Go on, Tony.” I couldn’t help it. He was supposed to be the enemy. The big rough opposition captain, trying to strangle England’s latest darling. But at that moment, for me, the match ceased to be between England and Ecuador. I’d spent the game diligently supporting my country, but suddenly things changed: this was United’s Antonio Valencia against Liverpool’s Raheem Sterling. This was a nasty Scouser trying to scythe down Our Tony. Gooner Jack then piles in, acting like a goon. Manchester United against the world. Go on, Tony.

The higher one’s team is in the football pyramid, the more likely one is to face this conflict of interests when watching international foot- ball. Not only might you spot a hero in the opposition ranks (as Wigan, Hull and Stoke fans did in the Honduras game), but you might be pitted against an enemy in your own. Even Liverpool fans, currently the impeccable patriots, given the tendency to see this England team as having been created in their team’s image, will face tribulations at the World Cup. No self-respecting Red will be able to resist taking some pleasure from the sight of Luis Suárez dancing around Everton’s Baines and Jagielka, Chelsea’s Cahill, and, possibly (if Glen Johnson gets injured or continues to play like a muppet), United’s Jones or Smalling, in São Paolo.

The partisan nature of club football renders this inevitable, to a degree. We spend all year in a frenzy in which it’s seemingly acceptable to hate some men because they play for a foot- ball team we don’t like. As a United fan, I cannot stand Steven Gerrard. He’s the captain of Liverpool, he understands that that job entails fighting with United players, he has an annoying demeanour and self-obsession, and, most grating of all, he has managed to cultivate a myth of himself as the modern embodiment of the nearly extinct quality of loyalty (despite having submitted a transfer request to join Chelsea).

In real life, these aren’t acceptable reasons to vehemently dislike someone that you’ve never met. But I do. The fact that this man captains England makes the most instinctive impulse for a football fan – supporting one’s country – more complex, more of an exercise in introspection, than it should be.

Gerrard, though, has at least managed to achieve the support of most fans of rival clubs when on international duty (including, of course, myself, once the proper matches begin). Rooney has had no such luck. For a brief period, the fans who scream “You fat bastard” at him from August to May will crush him with their ‘support’ in Brazil. And then, as he inevitably underperforms, it will dawn on those supporters that this is the Wayne Rooney they hate for most of the year. Back come the death threats.

Partisan club support exists everywhere, but there is also something particular about the English club game that gives greater impetus to the internal conflict that international football induces in fans. We often like to think that the Premier League is the best league in the world. It isn’t. What it can boast though is a more global array of talent than any other league. According to the latest figures (which constantly change, given player withdrawals), 124 players from English clubs have been named in World Cup squads, compared to 66 from Spain’s La Liga. A fan of an English club is more likely than a fan of a club in any other country to feel a tug on his heartstrings as a hero lines up for the opposition at the World Cup.

Clearly, there would be less of a problem here if club sides were forced to play more English players. This seems unlikely. The forthcoming Nations League may have a more subtle effect: if we see England play more regularly in actual competition, the feeling of supporting Gerrard, or Rooney, whoever the opposition, will become more natural.

For the time being, though, it’s simply something to which I (and many others) must quick- ly acclimatise, so that when Gary Cahill stops Chicharito from scoring a last minute winner in the quarter-final, I will collapse in genuine relief. Nevertheless, I can only hope that when England do win the tournament in Rio, it is Danny Welbeck, captain, who collects the trophy. The people’s choice. Well, my people’s choice.

College cricket scene set for an exciting finale

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This week sees the final games of the 2014 inter-college cricket league take place, and there is still a lot to play for across all divisions.

Worcester are leading the top division with 110 points after having played six games. They are followed closely by St. Catz with 95 points, which makes the last games of the season ever more important. However, last week saw the top of the table clash washed out, with both teams taking 11 points after rain stopped play. In fact, all matches in 6th week were cancelled due to rain; a striking similarity to last year’s cricket season.

Third and fourth place are not far behind the top two, with Balliol and Keble both on 92 points. St. John’s are fifth with 82 points, leaving a 28-point gap between themselves and sixth place Christ Church. As such, tight points margins at the top are ensuring an exciting end to the season.

New and Queens line the relegation zone though, with New on 43 points and Queens on 34 points, after five games each. New College have had a disappointing run in the league this season, but more than made up for it by beating Brasenose in the Cuppers final back in 6th week. New partnered with St. Hilda’s for the Cuppers tournament, and sent a star studded side into the competition. The Cuppers tournament is usually much more competitive than the league as the college teams manage to put out all of their cricketing blues. In the final, New/St. Hilda’s set a target of 179, despite a shaky start in which both of the opening batsmen were dismissed for just 60 runs after 20 overs. They managed to pull it back in the second 20 overs though, and pushed the game just out of reach of a strong Brasenose side that couldn’t quite chase down the total.

Merton shares the leadership of Division Two with Pembroke, with both teams on 99 points from six games. The two teams are set to clash on 16th June (8th week), in what is likely to be the title decider. Cuppers finalists Brasenose reside in third place on 77 points after five games, which means they are still in with a chance of promotion.

Hertford and Teddy Hall, tied on 88 points from five matches, top Division Three. Wadham follow closely, on 83 points. Although the bottom dvision, it is home to a plethora of strong teams, with Hertford boasting three university players.

As far as the strongest sporting colleges go, Worcester is one of the only colleges to see its reputation reflected in its position in the league. The cricketing talent is spread fairly evenly between the top and bottom divisions. This is not the case for many of the other inter-college sports, such as football, where the qual- ity of football varies much more amongst the divisions. The strength of individual colleges changes each year as new players move in and finalists begin revision in Trinity term.

The Cuppers tournament showed how teams from any division can succeed; Division Two colleges have size as their advantage, with a much higher chance of fielding University level sportsmen and sportswomen in their teams. Hertford is thus an anomaly in this sense. The key to a successful Cuppers run is to encourage the top players to contribute to their college team, as most tend to focus on University training and the BUCS leagues during the term.

To turn to the reserves, the larger colleges, and a host of MCR sides, dominate the second XI leagues. Wolfson-St. Cross lead division one, taking 66 points from four games. Worcester are second with 62 points from four games.

With all to play for, college cricket teams enter the last two weeks of the season. 7th week has seen the Authentics (Oxford University 2nd XI) travel to Cambridge to compete in their T20 Varsity match, as well as the historic Turl Street clash of the titans between Jesus and Exeter. Going into the game, Jesus are sitting in 6th place in Division Two, on 60 points, followed by Exeter in 7th place and with 58 points. Both teams had played six matches prior to the fixture, which gave each team even more to play for. Hopefully the sun will stay out then, and we will see the title decided on the pitch.

Review: Othello

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In Othello, Shakespeare took on a topic which had been growing in the minds of his Elizabethan contemporaries. The play was written during a period of extensive negotiations between Morocco and England, with a prominent Moroccan ambassador present in London. Yet it is notable for coming out strongly against the racism and indeed sexism of Shakespeare’s time, portraying a strong black character in Othello who is eloquent, powerful and respected. 

Oluwafemi Nylander pulls off this aspect of Othello’s character with ease. From the instant he sets foot on stage, there is a certain quality to his presence that asserts itself over the other characters. His early dialogue is self-assured and confident.Meanwhile, Barney Fishwick’s Iago starts out, as the character ought to, inconspicuously. 

We’re not quite sure what to make of him in his early exchange with Roderigo who, as it happens, plays the fool brilliantly. While Othello is on stage, Iago is subdued. The audience can’t quite keep their eyes off him as they wait for him to betray some sense of his evil, but he is every inch the perfect ensign.

When Iago is left alone on stage, Fishwick’s talent really shines. Filled with confused and misdirected emotion, we are immediately confronted with the problem of Iago’s motivation. As he plots his revenge against Othello, we can’t help but wonder why. He moans that Othello “between the sheets/ has done my office” and complains that he is a better man than Cassio, and deserves the lieutenancy, but none of these reasons quite satisfy.

For the first half of the play, Fishwick continues in fine form. It is an oft-quoted claim about this play that, due to a script which gives the villain vastly more time on stage, Iago tends to outshine his Othello. This is certainly true in the famous 1995 film, in which Kenneth Brannagh’s scheming ensign blows Laurence Fishburne (an actor of no inconsiderable talent) out of the water. So too in this production, our attention is drawn away from the titular character. By Iago’s third soliloquy, the audience is even starting to take his side, revelling in his evil.

However, in the second half of the play, Nylander shows why he is one of the most sought-after young actors in Oxford. As Othello’s mind fragments, he really rises to the challenge, owning the script rather than allowing the script to own him. Even the notorious fit scene is done well, with Nylander falling to the ground and writhing in a wholly convincing manner; this is a scene that even the most famous productions have struggled with. The final scene is also handled expertly. Othello mysteriously recovers his former majesty shortly before murdering his wife, and the wonderful speeches, in particular “I heard besides that in Aleppo once” at the climax, are delivered with aplomb.

It would be remiss of me not to mention the excellent staging. Christ Church Cathedral gardens are wonderfully picturesque, and the College building itself is used at the start to great effect when Brabantio appears at a first floor window. Throughout the play, the stage is split in two, with most of the action taking place on the main stage, and a solitary bed placed on the right side. The effect of this is a terrifying foreshadowing of the murder to come, and a reminder of the savage ending to the play.

It is in this ending that the third star of the play comes forth. Amelia Cherry’s Emilia is magnificent in the later parts of the play. The ‘Willow’ scene is one of my favourites. Desdemona, whose singing voice is beautiful even if she is occasionally inaudible at times, intones a mournful melody while Roderigo poignantly sharpens his sword, scraping after every line of the song. After this, Emilia’s storming speech on the nature of male-female relations took my breath away. The literal separation on stage of violent men with swords and vulnerable women in a bedroom is a clever piece of stag- ing, and emphasizes the danger faced by the largely helpless Desdemona.

This is a very traditional representation of Othello, right down to the costumes. Few risks are taken with the interpretation, but this is not to the detriment of what is overall an extremely fine production. 

Review: Back To The Excellent Hot Tub Time Machine

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In the penultimate sketch of the show, one of the four funny-men, Tom Dowling, gives the audience a few tips on how they should best respond to the show. He concludes that it’s safest to say that it was “hit and miss”, so that you can adapt to the responses of your companion. This meta-sketch was not only amusing, but rather accurate. The show was a series of hits and misses, eliciting, by turn, awkward titters and unbridled guffaws.

The show started badly with a rambling voice-over, which was meant to be one side of a phone conversation between the actors and their manager, but which fell a bit flat. After this, though, the sketches went from strength to strength, culminating in the hilariously obscene anthem to Rachel Riley. “Your blue eyes make my penis smile” crooned one of the boys to the countdown queen, while a tributary slideshow of her in her famously microscopic dresses was projected onto a screen behind.

The sketches came in various forms: spoofs of Oxford students, contemporary satire, absurdist humour, and, of course, that crucial splash of meta-comedy. The Oxford-based gags were the weakest. For example, the boys acted out a condensed episode of ‘Shark Tales’. At the start the ‘presenter’ announces that he is “posh, wears glasses and will show you that drunk people are pricks”. The issue is that the presenters of the real show are fully self-aware and that is part of their charm. Making a parody sketch of something that is already a self-parody seems a bit pointless.

Somewhat less obvious jokes came with the spoofs of contemporary TV shows. Josh Dolphin gave a wonderful monologue in the role of Alan Bennett auditioning for a “gritty Northern adaptation of Breaking Bad” and the idea that “Top Gear’s’ tagline is ‘Not racist – just banter!’” is horribly accurate. Oli Johnson Munday’s creepy guitar-playing Spaniard added some nice slapstick to the show in an absurd scene about two young Welshmen on holiday in Spain.

Bizarrely, some of the funniest sketches were those without talking. Perhaps the highlight of the whole show was a brief sketch in which Tom Dowling sits alone at a table with a pint to the backing of Sixpence None the Richer’s cheesy ‘Kiss Me’ and then all of a sudden, violently chunders into his glass. Understated, but hilarious. Similarly comic was the recurring sketch in which Dan Byam Shaw mimes the very emotionally fraught cutting and distributing of a cake.

It may be a little hit and miss at the moment, but with a few tweaks and some work, this could be an hour-long barrel of laughs. 

Live Review: Drenge

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Drenge are two loud, angsty youths who have taken the UK’s grottiest music venues by storm. Their serving of harsh, wailing vocals and thrashing guitar has been at the forefront of 2013/14’s replacement of shoegaze electro snorepop (or whatever Pitchfork was touting in 2011) with gritty, basic garage rock. Their performance at last year’s Glastonbury was enough to catch the attention of Labour MP Tom Watson, going on to name drop them to Ed Miliband in his resignation letter. The debut album was yet another success for the young band, with critics and fans falling for their brand of modern two-piece grunge.  

But it would seem the drive has somewhat grinded to a halt, due to exhaustion from excessive touring, an inability to generate much original invention beyond the band’s debut last year, and an almost absurd need to enact the grunge persona. Drummer Rory’s hair is now so long and positioned around his face to make him look more than passably like Cousin Itt from The Addams Family. The gig upstairs in the Oxford O2 Academy was so lacking in energy and enthusiasm that watching the poor geezer in front of me try to work out whether or not he was going to chunder was at times far more entertaining.

That’s not to say Drenge weren’t trying; singer and guitarist Eoin Loveless is wailing with the very best vigour he can manage, but with the crumbling drums and the guitar overdriving so hard it sounds like an amp having an aneurism, it blends into a messy, grimy soundscape of gloop, rather like musical treacle. But treacle, although delicious at the start, but soon your mouth sticks together and you get a tummy ache. Quite a severe one for the poor bugger in front. Even the extensive mosh pit, which began with such violent passion, has to accept defeat in the mucky moments, and the individuals involved stand and sway slightly bewilderedly. I, meanwhile, am looking at my watch.

Here was an hour’s long example of why you can have too much of a good thing. Whilst the rough sound of Drenge is what brought them fame, they need to respect, refine and develop it for a clearer, more original and faster paced live performance.