Friday, May 30, 2025
Blog Page 1508

Creaming Spires: Week Four

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Is the sexual frustration that accompanies a long distance relationship all too familiar or can you just not be bothered to trek to your boyfriend/girlfriend’s college for a bit of late night canoodling? Cherwell’s Creaming Spires brings you a play-by-play account of Skype sex; how to do it and how to do it well.

After the Tulisa scandal I have been far too afraid to get my kit off for a partner- what if you become famous and a bad breakup results in a scandalous exposé of you in the form of your young slutty self? But in the name of Cherwell, I swallowed my pride and got my bits out over webcam- something my boyfriend was all too keen to try out.

Initiating Skype sex is incredibly awkward. I’m a confident girl, but even I struggled to seamlessly shift the topic of conversation from my collection marks to my cunt. If I couldn’t do it vocally, I was going to have to use my body language. I ‘accidentally’ slipped a bra strap off my shoulder, at which point my boyfriend raised an all too familiar suggestive eyebrow. From there I jokingly started the strip tease and he followed suit, leaving both of us in the nuddy.

Telling each other what to do was very steamy and really arousing. The only major logistical difficulty was assuming the best/most flattering camera angle. I mean, do you go for a full body shot or a close up? Then there is the worry of someone walking in or overhearing. For some reason, the weirdo on the corridor hearing you Skype sex is much more painfully embarrassing than them hearing you have real sex. There is something quite shameful about the experience, but perhaps that is partly what makes it so exciting and naughty.

I will most definitely be making Skype sex a regular feature of my relationship but with a balaclava to protect my identity when the screen shot activity commences.

En Garde

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CLOTHES  Rebecca wears Arrogant Cat Couture silk and lace dress, Mimco pearls, Ted Baker jersy dress, vintage crystal necklace, Primark tshirt and Primark black trousers. Alice wears Betsey Johnson dress, Topshop necklace, Topshop heels, Miss Selfridge dress, Miss Selfridge beaded crop top (worn with dress), Miss Selfridge pendant, Topshop platform heels, Primark shirt, own black studded trousers.

MODELS Rebecca Heaysman and Alice Ojha
PHOTOGRAPHER Henry Sherman
STYLIST Tamison O’Connor

Review: Savages – Silence Yourself

★★★★★
Five Stars

“I’m 65, how old are you?” The final words to the introductory voice over of opening track ‘Shut Up’ are entirely appropriate considering Savages mission statement released earlier this year. Having been criticised for being a copy-cat band, they retaliated with, “Savages are not trying to give you something you didn’t have already.” Their most recent press release goes further, claiming that “Savages’ intention was to create a sound, indestructible and musically solid, written with enough nuances to provide a wide range of emotions” and on their debut album, Silence Yourself, this mission statement has been successfully implemented. 

Whilst the band are ‘nothing new’; they don’t claim to be, and what they do offer is simply a fantastic album. Savages offer a lot more musical depth than they may first suggest with tracks such as ‘City’s Full’ and ‘Strife’ having an air of the Led Zeppelin to them with Jehnny Beth’s yelps and cries, dramatic guitar sweeps, and an air of loose-pounding rock within the opening drum-break of ‘Strife’ that Bonzo would be proud of.

Lyrically, the four-piece have some interesting moments especially in the aforementioned ‘City’s Full’ with ‘your serious eyes dehumanise’ bringing a sense of depth to the track which is juxtaposed with the chorus telling of how the ‘city’s full of cissy love, yeah’.

Musically, however, is where the main interest of this album remains; with the various stylistic tributes to punk and rock bands of the past coinciding with more experimental tracks, such as ‘Waiting for a Sign’ and ‘Dead Nature’. What stands out in this album is it’s musical depth: both in terms of the audible mix, with the foregrounding of Hassan’s masterful bass; and in their intricate musical refernces. All-in-all, this is a much more satisfying and interesting listen than other ‘guitar bands’ out there like the Vaccines and even the Strokes — who we’re all rather bored of.

Track to download: Strife

Review: The Great Gatsby OST

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★★★☆☆
Three Stars

The soundtrack of Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby was never going to have an easy task; it must somehow transmit the ethereality of 1920s American decadence while simultaneously indulging contemporary appetites for extravagence. Luhrmann and Jay Z together have brought in an artistic cast worthy of The Expendables, with heavyweights in every corner. They aren’t allowed to dominate, however, as they are centred on the themes and the plot of The Great Gatsby.

The first track, Jay Z’s new ‘100$ bill’ is written for the film, with “yellow cars” running through the lyrics. Its expertly crafted line “History don’t repeat itself it rhymes, 1929 still” links irrevocably the excesses of the 20s with today’s, while the driving pulse of the track really adds a sense of pace. Lana Del Rey’s ‘Young and Beautiful’ invokes the lurking ruin of this system with her line “Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?”.

Jazz and soul runs through the soundtrack, with will.i.am, Coco O. and Fergie using jazz samples to effectively set the dance scenes in a 20s context. The Bryan Ferry Orchestra backs Emeli Sande well, and then Bryan Ferry himself in the album’s most explicitly period song.

The main complaint is that ‘100$ Bill’ is however by far the heaviest hitting song of the set, a strong start leaving one expecting an engagement and tone that the rest don’t quite live up to, with an entirely forgettable final four songs. The jazz influences seem to be a vague gesture towards previous eras as opposed to any real attempt to bring authenticity.

However it’s an enjoyable soundtrack incapable of causing offense, with Florence and the Machine and The XX in particular providing typically strong singles. Don’t pay too much attention to the soundtrack, it won’t improve your experience of the film; just enjoy the music.

Track to download: 100$ Bill

Interview: Jamie N Commons

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Although you might not have heard of Jamie N Commons yet, you definitely will by the end of the year. 

I caught up with the bluesman ahead of his gig at Jericho Tavern earlier this month to see what he was up to. As an Englishman who’s spent a considerable amount of time in America, Commons injects a unique belnd of influences into his heartfelt blues tracks.

He’s previously cited the Allman Brothers as a major influence; and tells me he has an equal appreciation of the Rolling Stones.

The interesting position of Commons in terms of nationality is arguably reflected by the movements of the Stones in the late 60s, a group that he says “sold blues back to the States”.

Blues, as a genre, has now become a “treasured part of American culture” and one which Commons hopes to latch on to; a lesser appreciation of the form over here is proving difficult.

Commons defines himself as blues-rock “with some back-end of what’s going on now, hip hop stuff etc”. He tells me, though, “It has to be British rock at its core; if it doesn’t work on an acoustic guitar, it’s not happening.”

This can definitely be heard on his latest EP, Rumble and Sway, with there being hip hop influences heard on the title track and ‘Worth Your While’, which definitely grounds his newest offering within the modern age whilst also being influenced by The Doors and “hints at that early 60s go-go lounge type thing”.

On his SoundCloud there are currently various remixes of the aforementioned ‘Rumble and Sway’, of which Commons doesn’t seem too much of a fan.
“That was the label’s decision, I’m not massively into that whole world. But the more promotion, the better.” He’s also not a massive consumer of music nowadays, worried that these influences will force him to go into a different direction. “I prefer a child-like creative place; you feel it rather than steal it”.

Commons definitely wants to be defined on his own terms. “It’s that Beatles thing – making sure that you’ve got that thing about your sound, your voice, delivery, even attitude.” The mission statement: “Nothing less than getting people listening to music in a different way!”

He’s irritated with the “proto-Ibiza thing” but is no longer bitter about it. He is more impressed by how bands have “done well out of it” and amazed at “how simply your sound can be defined”.

Hopefully with Commons there’ll be an opportunity to replace these aging rockers with someone equally credible. He’s the only rock artist to sign to Interscope in 5 years. “They’re happy to have a bunch of guys making music back at the label and stuff, hooking up with songwriters and not stylists.” With Commons comes “modern production that won’t sound alien to people – that’s the mission plan”.

And with a lot more songs in the pipeline that “can kick the door down”, hopefully he’ll be here to stay.

The Top 12 – 4th Week

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1. The Great Gatsby

In cinemas from Thursday

This is clearly going to be a defining moment for modern cinema. Big stars, a revered source, 3D, hip-hop-swing mashups. This is either going to be incredible or terrible. Then again, why make a film about the most hubristic and wasteful of generations if it’s not equally as ambitious?

 

2. Lead Feathers

@BT Studio, 7:30pm Tuesday 14th

A piece of new writing that actually sounds good? Well, isn’t that a rarity! Set aside those awful two-man shows, those extended speeches on the brilliance of the writer. This production sounds like it may actually be atmospheric, personal and dramatic in a manner which is engaging rather than contrived. Coase and Grant (also responsible for Bluebeard) weave a tale of a family struggling to cope with the aftermath of the Great War.

 

3. Miles Kane

@O2 Academy, 6:30pm Saturday 11th

Miles Kane has finally come out from under the shadow of his friend and occasional collaborator, Alex Turner – his latest album, Don’t Forget Who You Are, looks to be a hit in the making, and his live prowess is legendary. With his “modern-mod”stylings and his sing-along choruses, this will be a gig to remember.

 

4. Brazil

@Magdalen Auditorium, 7:30pm Monday 13th

Terry Gilliam and Tom Stoppard’s classic tragicomic film is showing at the Magdalen Film Society. It’s like Kafka on acid, with Robert De Niro as a freelance ventialtion repairman, Jim Broadbent as a plastic surgeon, and one of the best endings in cinema history.

 

5. She Stoops to Conquer

@Master’s Garden, Univ, 7:30pm Wednesday 15th

This play’s run lasts until Saturday, but why not spend a lazy evening in the gardens at Univ, watching a classic 18th century play? If the spate of sunny weather continues, this celebration of romance, chicanery and class should be unmissable and unbeatable.

 

6. Reginald D Hunter

@New Theatre, 7:30pm Sunday 12th

You’ve seen him on Have I Got News For You, and now it’s time to see him live. The show is called In the Midst of Crackers, which, in Oxford, is both a good pun and a good bet.

 

7. Hay Fever

@Brasenose New Quad, 1pm Saturday 11th

Seduction, conflict, intrigue and charades… Must be Noel Coward! if you fancy an afternoon of witty repartee amongst the elegant upper classes (that only ever appear in fiction), then this is your best bet. We’ve heard good things so far…

 

8. Mahler’s 9th

@St Peter’s College Chapel, Monday 13th

The Oxford Sinfonietta will be performing in the UK premiere of Klaus Simon’s arrangement of Mahler’s 9th Symphony. the performance will be preceded by a lecture, given by Peter Franklin, an eminent Mahler scholar. One for anyone who’s really into their Mahler, or anyone who’s slightly interested in classical music!

 

9. Brookes Degree Show

@The Glass Tank and the Richard Hamilton Building Wednesday 15th

The finest of fine artists from Brookes have put their reputations and their degrees on the line, showcasing their work to the general public. It’s always interesting to see wht young artists have to say for themselves. Who knows, perhaps you may see the first mature work of the next Tracy Emin or Damian Hirst!

 

10. The Barber of Seville

@St. Peter’s College Chapel, 7:30pm Friday 10th

In the intervening years between the composition of Rossini’s comic masterpiece and today, it has lost none of its potency or humour. Catch it if you can.

 

11. Mud

In Cinemas from Friday

This is the latest in Matthew McConaughey’s attempts to be taken seriously as an actor (no more rom coms!). He plays a fugitive who must be protected by two teenagers, as he attempts to reunite with his lost love, Reese Witherspoon. Hopefully it’ll be more palatable than Killer Joe.

 

12. Port and Policy

@St Giles Church, 8:30pm Sunday 12th

Okay, so it may be a total cliché. It may be one of the more odious aspects of Oxford life, but surely everyone should experience it at least once. Half the people are only there for the port anyway.

Pie-demonium at Jesus College

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Jesus College has been gripped by a mania of pie-throwing following the announcement of the official start of ‘Pie Week’ by JCR Social Secretary Chris Smith. Suspense has been high since the appearance of an enigmatically-worded event on the termly Jesus College Social Calendar.

The ‘Pie Week’ rules were outlined by Smith in an email sent to the JCR. Participants have to sign a register before being allowed to purchase the pies from the ‘Official Pie Stand’. Pies can only be thrown at those, and by those, who sign the register.

Other rules stated, “If one suspects they are about to be Pie-d they must shout “PIE” at the supposed Pie-er. If the accusation is true and the accused be guilty and has a Pie in hand, the failed Pie-er must self pie to the face. On the second occasion with the same hypothetical Pie-ee and failed Pie-er, the self-pie can be to the crotch (at the Pie-ee’s discretion). Pie-ing is an ancient sport of stealth and this rule ensures only Pie’s (sic) of style are successful; punishing the weak (at pieing).”

The pies cost 50p and consist of tin-foil trays filled with whipped cream. All money raised goes to charity. Chris Smith stated in the email, “This does mean with each pie you launch you are slowly becoming a better person.”

The event has not been uncontroversial. Chris Smith commented, “We were quickly banned from pieing in hall after a student’s aerial pie coated much of a table.”

Emilia Carslaw, a second year Classicist, told Cherwell, “it’s been an ex-cream-ly pie-olent few days in Jesus, full of pie-rannical pie-racy. We have all been living in fear, terri-pie-d of the moment the next attack will occur.”

All money raised goes to the charity Schistosomiasis Control Iniative (SCI).

Jesus charges own JCR to use rooms

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Jesus College has begun charging student groups for the use of its rooms. Both OUSU and Jesus JCR were asked to pay for access to the newly constructed Ship Street Lecture Theatre, despite it not having been booked by any other organisation.

Last week, it was discovered that Jesus JCR’s ‘Everyday Sexism’ talk with Laura Bates was oversubscribed, and a larger room was needed. After negotiation, the Ship Street Lecture Theatre was hired by the JCR at a discounted rate of £100. Similarly, the OUSU Hilary term council was requested to be held there, but College authorities quoted room rental at an undiscounted rate of £300, which OUSU declined to pay.

Jesus JCR President Tom Rogers said “Although college does give us access to most of the meeting rooms for free, it’s a shame that students are being effectively denied the use of one of the best parts of their college, and being charged large sums of money for seemingly very little reason.”

“At the end of the day, students are being treated like just another customer in the conference trade.” Rogers continued “It seems pointless to leave a great venue empty when students want to use it for worthwhile events that show off the best of Jesus College.”

OUSU Academic Affairs Officer David Messling, told Cherwell that “most colleges will allow OUSU Council, for instance, to be held for free, given that all their students are OUSU members.”

OUSU president-elect Tom Rutland commented “Colleges should be welcoming student engagement with groups like ‘Everyday Sexism’ and involvement in their Student Union, not charging them to host these events. When new facilities are built off the back of donations from alumni and sold as ‘great for students’ it’s disappointing that in some colleges, students rarely get a chance to use them.”

He continued “If the rooms aren’t being used for something else at the time, it seems extremely unfair to charge the student body to use them. Jesus College prides itself on its commitment to equality and diversity, so to charge the JCR for an equalities event’s move simply because it was so popular is pretty disappointing.”

Jesus College declined to comment.

OUSU Council divided over gender balancing

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OUSU Council stands divided after Oxford delegates at last month’s NUS conference came under attack on Wednesday. Three NUS delegates received criticism after they voted in support of motion 701 – to introduce gender-balancing quotas – which went directly against the result of an earlier OUSU straw poll.

The results of the vote, conducted on the 20th of March, were seventeen in favour, forty four against, and eleven abstentions. OUSU President David J. Townsend said, at the time, that the “motion was deliberately phrased so as to have a discussion rather than end in a formally binding vote”, whilst VP for Access & Academic Affairs David Messling stated that the straw poll was conducted so that “when delegates attend they will take this into consideration.”

Townsend told Cherwell, “Questions were asked of those delegates who had voted against the wishes of OUSU Council, which represents the views of the common room presidents and others who comprise it.”

One member of the OUSU executive described how the participants in the discussion “went on and repeatedly expressed that they were disappointed in them, whilst others said that they were angry.” Helena Dollimore, one of the under fire delegates, described their reception as “hostile”.

NUS delegates Tom Rutland, Aled Jones and Helena Dollimore were criticised by the council at Wednesday’s meeting. Rutland, who is President elect of OUSU, defended his decision to vote in support of motion 701 by stating that, “At the Council where this was discussed it was made clear by David Townsend, the current OUSU President, that a ‘discussion’ took place rather than a ‘formally binding vote’ because such a vote would ‘render our delegates incapable of listening and taking into account arguments made at the conference itself’”.

Despite the informality of the straw poll, OUSU VPs David Messling and Chris Gray were outspoken in their condemnation of the delegates. Messling told Cherwell that the debate arose from a belief that it is “important that when Oxford’s students make a decision, their representatives listen to them.” 
Messling stated that “it’s now apparent that some delegates did not weigh Common Rooms’ views as seriously as was generally expected.”

Jack Matthews – who was Head Agent for TeamWestbury in Michaelmas’ OUSU elections – said that the delegates ought to be “disappointed in themselves”, and that it was simply “one line of procedure, which the delegates themselves neglected to add to the motion, that prevented this being a binding mandate. The students of Oxford have been let down.”

Jones and Dollimore were also keen to defend their position on the subject. Jones, who, along with Dollimore, is co-chair elect of OULC, issued a statement to be read at OUSU council. Jones said that he understood that “this vote was not a binding one upon delegates and not one which mandated us to vote in a certain direction”, and that he had been “elected by the students of this university and it is they who I feel most accountable to, the autonomy of our NUS delegates is something that I see as extremely important, specifically on motions that delegates feel strongly about.” Dollimore’s statement concurred with Jones’s.

The protocol for binding delegates to the results of the straw poll came under fire. Queen’s JCR Pres Jane Cahill spoke at the meeting and told Cherwell, “If the person who brought the discussion about gender quotas wanted to bind the NUS delegates then they should have had the courage to table it as a vote.”

Questions have been raised over whether the response from members of council was proportionate to the alleged transgressions of the delegates. A member of the OUSU executive, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “It was clear that many in the room felt strongly about how they’d failed to represent Oxford students. The discussion went on for a while and the world ‘scandalous’ was used.”

Jane Cahill confirmed this atmosphere, saying that there was a degree of “hounding the NUS delegates for their mistake”, but conceded that it “was not the case that everyone at OUSU Council was out for them.”

Despite this, Dollimore was particularly critical of the atmosphere at Wednesday’s council meeting, saying that the “borderline aggressive reaction of some members of council isn’t productive for OUSU and doesn’t help its reputation. It could be argued that kind of environment is exactly what keeps women out of student politics in the first place.”

To prevent a similar occurrence in the future, Rutland has said that “for next year, so that there is no confusion, any motions taken to Council will be ‘mandate’ motions rather than discussion ones which should ensure clarity both for Council and NUS delegates.”

Townsend confirmed that he has “proposed that a set of guidelines should be drawn up on exactly when OUSU Council has and hasn’t formally bound Oxford’s delegates, and that is what I will submit to the next meeting of OUSU Council for their approval.”

Messling, reacting to this news, said, “It’s encouraging that Council has decided to clear this up for the future, so that Oxford’s delegates will always travel to NUS Conference to represent the opinions of thousands of Oxford students, and not just their own.”