Monday, May 5, 2025
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Being Human: Time to Say Goodbye

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One of Being Human’s great and revealing moments comes in series two, when touchy-feely ghost Annie attempts to hold a house meeting to talk about feelings. Werewolf George has infected and subsequently lost the love of his life, while vampire Mitchell is struggling to hold back a bloodbath of vampiric carnage in the wake of an abstinence attempt. Their solution to these heavy burdens? “We should get really drunk.” The domestic minutiae of their lives is so much more important to them than any supernatural trauma that it isn’t until BBC3 moves The Real Hustle to an unknown time slot that their angst really erupts.

When first conceived, Being Human was rather different in style – the story of a drug addict, agoraphobe and anger-management patient who attempt to overcome their issues by leading normal lives in a house together. Quickly the script was tweaked a little to involve a supernatural element, but Being Human was at its best where you could almost forget it was related to the fantasy genre. Its strength always lay in the little moments: the normal interaction that showed the relationships between the characters whilst demonstrating the inherent absurdity of a vampire, werewolf and ghost sharing a house in the South West. 

Yet as time went on the premise was diluted, and the show became something of a Poundland knock-off of True Blood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with shadowy corporations, prophecies, vampiric elders and messiahs that belied the early days of three people sitting in a house together drinking a hell of a lot of tea. Once initiated, the stakes (no pun intended) had to be raised every year. This didn’t make the show bad, mind you – merely less unique. As each character had their solo adventures, it also became less focused on the group dynamics, and the mythology of the series became less consistent (can vampires drink stored blood? Was werewolf blood always poisonous?) It seemed there was no going back, and once key cast members began leaving it appeared that Being Human was a spent force.

And yet, appropriately enough, the series rose again. Surviving its re-casting remarkably well compared to other shows, the series continued with new vampire-wolf duo Hal and Tom, and eventually replaced Annie with the less insipid Alex. In a house-share, it makes sense for people to move on, and it didn’t feel too tenuous for more supernaturals to join the crew (unlike in Misfits). The new dynamic worked, and the show culminated in a commendable finale with Phil Davis in his element as a devilish Daily Mail reader. It might have lacked the bombast of previous finales, but it emphasised the choice the three characters made to become human, even in their refusal of an easy humanity. The throwback to the previous series was a nice touch too, though perhaps a little too fleeting, and the final shot of the three housemates watching Antiques Roadshow together seemed to end the series on a soft note.

But then that reveal reminded viewers that Being Human always had a dark and unsettling side. The simple reuse of a significant camera angle and the little origami wolf in the final shot left the show on a brave and almost upsetting note of ambiguity: one that could explain some of the less plausible (relatively speaking) departures in the episode’s plot. It wasn’t a perfect end, but Being Human was never a perfect show. Really, this was probably the best way it could have gone out – not dead and buried, but alive and kicking.

Review: Daughter – If You Leave

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★★★★☆
Four Stars

We’ve been eagerly looking forward to Daughter’s debut album ever since the trio’s stunning first EP, His Young Heart was released in April 2011. Elena Tonra’s hauntingly beautiful voice slicing through softly understated guitar quickly caused a media storm; and follow-up EP The Wild Youth only built on that success as stunningly tragic lyrics, married with an almost unbearable sadness evident in Tonra’s voice, found their way into our hearts.

One could have been forgiven for expecting Daughter to come out with an album full of plodding acoustic guitar and uninteresting if pitch-perfect vocals. But throughout If You Leave, the dynamic rises and falls, as Tonra’s voice dances between a powerful cry and a lingering, tentative sound filled with fragility. Despite this, the melancholy in If You Leave can seem somehow repetitive, though still profound. They filled four-track EPs beautifully; but on a full-length album, for all their efforts to find musical variation, Daughter occasionally seem like they’re covering old ground. This is only a rare occurrence though, and for the most part we engage and empathize with Daughter’s message. One moment, crashing cymbals and guitars rapidly gathering speed are threatening to drown out the vocals, such as on ‘Lifeforms’, inspiring feelings of suffocation and helplessness. The next, a single note cuts into our hearts and Tonra cries out through the silence in a voice filled with pain, pleading for an end to her suffering.

‘Youth’ is the only song to re-appear from the EPs, and slots in perfectly, a tragic lament for “lovers that went wrong”. Daughter don’t cheer up either, later pleading “Don’t bring tomorrow/cos I already know I’ll lose you” on ‘Tomorrow’, a highlight. The title If You Leave instantly conjures images of loss and hearbreak, and these are themed carried on throughout, with the music perfectly accompanying the heart-rending lyrics, such as on ‘Human’; every thumping drumbeat is like a shot to the heart and the persistent guitars add desperation to Tonra’s insistence that “despite everything I’m still human”. This is an album that will tug on your heartstrings so hard that they’ll threaten to break.

Travel Blog: Welsh weather meets merciless Mercia

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A few months ago, in the naive cosiness of the end of the Christmas vac, I decided it would be a good idea to hike a long route in Britain. I’ve done numerous long-distance paths in the warmer clime of Spain, my country of origin, but have never attempted similar walks elsewhere, and decided it would be a nice way to end my second term at Oxford. 

Armed with rucksack, one-man tent and sleeping bag, I arranged to walk 285 kilometers along Offa’s Dyke Path in Wales, a route which follows the 8th Century Dyke erected by King Offa of Mercia, roughly mirroring the current Anglo-Welsh border. 

I set off from the northern Welsh seaside town of Prestatyn accompanied by three American visiting students, oblivious to what the weather held in store for us over the next few days. We ascended the steep, grassy incline into the Welsh wilderness, and spent our first day walking along the Clwydian Hills, following green and white acorns marking the way, surrounded by stunning rolling green hills. 

By the time we found somewhere to pitch our tents, we were soaked, and as nightfall approached, the temperature steadily declined, leaving us frozen in our tents, wide awake and numbed with cold. We awoke, shivering, to find the hills and our tents covered in a generous veil of snow. The psychological effect of having slept through a snow blizzard on our first day was considerable; we had expected gentle spring temperatures with plenty of rain, but seemed to be greeted by a second winter. 

As we walked among enveloping, sheep-cropped green hills, we discussed how short human memory of cold can be. Walking at a steady pace among beautiful surroundings, we had warmed up by now, and the cold shivers of the previous night seemed a long way away. 

However, by the end of the day, with the cold night closing in once again, we couldn’t face the prospect of another night in the cold. We were lucky to be invited by a local ex-hippie vicar to stay in his warm house nearby. Incidentally, he had walked the dyke various times himself and was an outdoor enthusiast. Over home brewed beer and pasta that night, we decided that the poor weather meant that we would have to cut our journey short, and decided to travel further south. 

Revitalised by a warm dinner and bed, we set out with good hopes along the Dyke again from Kington, and were met by a bitterly cold snow blizzard which clung to our clothes and froze fingers and noses as we crossed the Hergest ridge. There was something eerie about that day, walking on a knife-edge of cold and sunny spells, juxtaposed with an intense feeling of beauty. 

However, when we reached the bookish haven of Hay on Wye a couple of days later, with no shelter to stay, and a 28 kilometre hike along an exposed ridge with very poor weather conditions the next day, we resolved to return to Oxford. 

Having travelled only a fraction of what we had hoped, without even catching a glimpse of the dyke itself, we vowed eventually to return to complete what is said to be one of the most enthralling walks in Britain. 

 

 

 

 

Is it just a load of Jash?

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Somewhere in the dim recesses of the 200,000 hit videos of YouTube is an advert for a new comedy channel. Launched this week, Jash is the team effort of comedians Michael Cera, Sarah Silverman, Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim and Reggie Watts. It promises, according to Wareheim’s comments in Rolling Stone, to be a ‘bullshit-free experience’. The group got together after Google, the parent company of YouTube, proposed they produce proper comedy for a proper comedy channel on YouTube. Google was finally sick of the spate of viral videos that have dominated the site in recent years.

This is a fair point: if you look at some of the most popular videos of 2012 and 2013 so far, there has been a decline in constructed or performed comedy. The humour is derived from novelty, more often than not. Gangam Style, for example, is inescapable simply because it is a relatively catchy Korean pop song with a silly dance. The same goes for Harlem Shake. And another thing: the South Carolina competitor for the 2007 Miss Teen USA became an overnight YouTube sensation, infamous for her idiocy. When asked why she thought a fifth of American cannot locate themselves on a map, she replied with the immortal words: ‘I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there don’t have maps and some of our education such as South Africa and Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, our education over here in the US, should help South Africa’. Should we laugh at her stupidity and tragic lack of clarity? Yes, fifty seven million other people are. But they aren’t laughing at Sarah Silverman.

In a culture that favours videos of cats attacking printers and dogs on skateboards, is there room for channels like Jash? It is not unheard of for people to maximise YouTube’ viral capacity to increase their coverage. The song ‘Here it goes again’, written by the relatively awful Californian band OK Go, reached over a million YouTube views in the six days following its release in July 2006. Why? Because the video was choreographed on treadmills. They are a relatively dull quartet, and have since sunk back into obscurity, but this video’s viral success won them a Grammy award. It now has over fifty two million hits, making it the 42nd most viewed YouTube video of all time. This is all very well, but can we apply the viral sensation to a constructed comedy channel? This is not what we have come to expect from YouTube, and the risk of failure is high.

Off the back of the promotion videos, I have very little faith in it working. The advert starts with the president of Google walking down an expensive office corridor proclaiming, with his sickening CEO smile, that he is going to delete the entire content of YouTube and replace it with Jash. We then proceed through a series of categorically unfunny scenes: watching the new videos being made, before ending with a song about Jash by a band called Piss Cup, who vaguely resemble the Cure, and not in a good way. An unconvincing start to an unconvincing idea. Ignoring the idiots who have commented below the video that they cannot bear for YouTube to be deleted, the general response is not overwhelming. Most seem at best unimpressed, and at worst actively campaigning for the safety of YouTube.

We can’t by any stretch of the imagination rule out the need for genuine comedy today, performed and produced by comic actors. People like Judd Apatow have championed this to great effect. However, what Jash’s campaign demonstrates is that YouTube’s popular culture thrives off framing people and novelty factor. It isn’t television, it’s an exposition of some of the most awful and brilliant moments of recent years by popular demand. If Jash is going to work, it’s going to have to be really, consistently, pant-wettingly funny.

http://www.youtube.com/user/JashNetwork

Review: David Bowie – The Next Day

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★★★★★
Five Stars

This time last year David Bowie would have been coming to terms with his newly acquired bus pass having spent the last decade in retirement with his family. On the 8th January this year however, we received the incredible news that The Thin White Duke had been busy recording his 27th studio album, The Next Day – his first since 2003. Considering he had turned down the opportunity to play the TwentyTwelve Olympicstm – arguably the biggest one off performance platform Britain has ever seen (so big they gave half of it to Emili Sandé) – it is fair to say that even his most devout fans had come to accept that the career of their idol had come to an end. Therefore the announcement from Bowie’s twitter page on his 66th birthday that he had a surprise installed for us on his website (new single ‘Where Are We Now’ and a new album out soon) was always going to generate an intense volume of excitement. The best part being that, with The Next Day, it was worth it.

The opening track’s refrain of “Here I am, not quite dying” – to the backing of a pulsating, jerking rhythm that only Bowie could ever make work – defiantly announces his return from the start and sets the tone for an album that simultaneously manages to turn back the clock on Bowie’s career whilst still seeming light years ahead of anyone else.

A recurring theme of the album is Bowie revisiting his time in Berlin in the late 1970s, the album’s cover work being the most obvious example and the dirty sax riff on second track ‘Dirty Boys’ sounding at one with his work of the time. ‘The Stars (Are Out Tonight)’, the album’s latest single, swiftly follows with a driving bass rhythm and unnerving vocal style. Singing about the world’s celebrity obsession, it’s hard not to hear Bowie revealing his own frustrations at life in the spotlight; though trying to read too much into Bowie lyrics can quite easily lead you down blind alleys. ‘Love is Lost’ comes next, again featuring driving rhythms but also with an excellent climactic bridge before we come to the album’s first slower song, and also the song that announced this album to the world.

‘Where Are We Now’ is the first time we realise that Bowie has aged since 1978. His voice, for once so brittle, asking us “where are we now” whilst referencing times long gone is oddly revealing for an artist of Bowie’s mystique. This is a beautifully emotive song that gets better with each listen (which is lucky considering how much Radio 2 and 6 Music play it).

‘Valentine’s Day’ is lovely pop with a sweet melody and chord changes that manage to surprise and please in equal measure. If not quite reaching the same heights, with its dominating lead guitar line it sounds more reminiscent of 1972’s Ziggy Stardust. We then get sent a further 8 years forward to Scary Monsters with ‘If You Can See Me’; a song that sounds as though it belongs in a sci-fi chase sequence. Bowie’s TARDIS keeps working its magic as the next song, ‘I’d Rather Be High’, has flowing Indian style riffs that could have snuck their way onto the Magical Mystery Tour. The chorus of “I’d rather be high, I’d rather be deaf, than training these guns on those men in the sand” even makes me want to go out and protest against the Vietnam War. ‘I’d Rather Be High’ is brilliantly catchy and goes to show that Bowie’s knack for a great innovative pop song has never left him.

The Next Day’s producer Tony Visconti was the man used for Low and Heroes, and ‘How Does The Grass Grow?’ brings out the similarities most strongly with its opening synths and constant switching of vocal textures. Full of attitude and innovation, it grabs your attention throughout whilst never seeming forced. The penultimate track is a waltz timed ballad, ‘You Feel So Lonely You Could Die’, a name straight out of the Morrissey guidebook. Despite being no ‘Five Years’, in the context of the album it is an important song, breaking away from the rock n’ roll before the final track.

Album closer, ‘Heat’, is awesome. Again, we hear Bowie’s age and experience come out beautifully in his voice but this time to the backing of deep, space-age synths. An ominous song, it would surely get Freud’s pulse racing: “my father and the prison, I could only love you by hating him more”. Gradually it builds with acoustic strumming, bass and haunting strings to a great intensity before fading out to a drone; no one else sounds like this.

The worry leading up to The Next Day’s release was that it would eventually fall into the group of decent if a bit disappointing albums he released before his hiatus; Bowie has done more than enough to ensure that that won’t happen with this album. During Bowie’s peak he went out of his way to write a brilliant album in each of the different popular styles (Space Oddity – Folk; Man Who Sold The World – Rock; Young Americans – Soul etc.), he would always be one step ahead of the pack. The problems started to arise when he continued this approach whilst no longer being so relevant in the 1990s. By trying to make new sounding albums his priority rather than a collection of great songs, however admirable his innovation was, you never continued to listen to the record after the hype had died down. With The Next Day, Bowie hasn’t tried to make an electronic album, a rock album or a funk album but simply a great David Bowie album; that is The Next Day’s greatest success.

 

A View From the Pidge

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It was weird growing up a Liverpool fan in North London. There were, naturally, few others. Few others with whom to rejoice in the glories and, more often, few others with whom to commiserate in defeat. Few others with whom to speculate about whom we would sign in that transfer window and, more often, few others with whom to share concern about how few players Liverpool had signed in that transfer window. Few others who understood the Hillsborough tragedy.

There was a narrative, bubbling under the surface, that the Hillsborough disaster, 24 years ago today, was the Liverpool fans’ fault. Many subscribed to this story. That wasn’t their fault. Had I not been a Liverpool fan, I also wouldn’t have bothered to educate myself.

Nobody buys into that narrative now. The Hillsborough Independent Panel’s report, released on the 12th September last year, exposed a systematic cover-up by the South Yorkshire police force, which sought to shift the blame from itself to the fans. From the culprits to the victims. The details are worth restating, and mulling over: up to 41 lives could have been saved, 164 witness statements were altered, 116 witness statements were removed. The police breathalysed dead children, in an attempt to impugn their reputations. The local MP, Sir Irvine Patnick, passed false information from the police to the press. Most shockingly, it took 24 years for this to be confirmed, and for the prime minister to apologise to the families of the victims.

Every year, on the 15th of April, the names of the 96 innocent people who went to a football match and didn’t come home are read out at a memorial service at Anfield. It always strikes me how long this takes. I struggle to comprehend death of that scale. But I struggle even more with the fact that after one of the UK’s worst individual disasters of the past century, the organs of the state colluded to deny justice and to suppress the truth. It shocks me that they were successful for 24 years. This is not just an issue for Liverpool Football Club, nor just for football fans. This is something that all of society should be repulsed by. H, 15/4/13, 8pm

I think it was Andrew Marr who once wrote something to the effect that Margaret Thatcher performed her every action with a living sense of her own history. She wasn’t one of those people who are granted a posthumous apotheosis by an ululating and hysterical media, but rather one of that far, far rarer breed who create their own legend in the very moment of its happening. To me the most remarkable thing about Baroness Thatcher, that Iron Lady of rural Lincolnshire, was her fidelity to her own values; the values of thrift, hard work and the steadfastness of principle instilled by her father, Alderman Roberts. Regardless of your views of those values (and I’m not for one moment saying she was always, or even often, right) she never conceded an inch to those she considered wrong. The proof of the weight of her legacy is that the tributes, and occasional grotesque jubilations at her passing, that are pouring out from every corner of the globe are of supreme and staggering unimportance; neither a eulogy by one of her friends nor a tasteless comment by the pathetic and odious George Galloway will remotely alter any pre-existing impressions held of her, nor the views held on the rectitude of her actions. By sheer force of intellect, will and dedication, she stamped herself so thoroughly on the globe that the reverberations still echo today. To paraphrase from the Gospel beloved of her devoutly Methodist father, by her fruits shall ye know her; and whilst I could never argue that her premiership was without its rotten moments, I think it’s fair to say that the apple of Margaret Roberts never fell too far from the tree of her father – and that, like it or not, the seeds sown by the might of the Iron Lady will blossom and flourish for many centuries to come. A, 08/04/13, 3.30pm

In the UK, we are too snooty about public service. You can see it in the contempt with which politics is held. You can see it in the difference of tone between The West Wing and The Thick of It. And you can see it in the reaction to the death of Lady Thatcher. 

We had three transformative, towering leaders in the 20th Century. Not only did they profoundly shape the course of our nation, but they also had an immense impact on international affairs. One was Winston Churchill. One was Tony Blair. The other was Margaret Thatcher. That much is indisputable. (It is certainly disputable whether her legacy is a good one. I think it is very poor, but that is immensely irrelevant.) Most people have realised this, and are mourning Lady Thatcher appropriately. She blazed a trail for female politicians, being elected leader of the Conservative Party when it had just seven (seven!) other female MPs. She led the country through a successful war. Most importantly, she committed herself to a life of public service: we should be utterly in awe of someone who held the burden – for it is in many senses a burden – of being prime minister for over a decade.

Those, mainly on Twitter, mainly from the left, who are instead electing to use her death to spit on her grave, to traduce her as a common villain, to pretend that she had no democratic mandate for her policies, are low-life scumbags. It is unbeffiting of the left, and it is unbefitting of our politics. A particular source of anger is that she is receiving a state funeral. No doubt, the funeral will be an ugly scene, riddled by foolish, self-righteous picketers. She is receiving a state funeral because she dedicated her life to the service of this country, and to me that seems quite appropriate. (In my view, every prime minister should receive a state funeral – we need only look at the reverential tone of Richard Nixon’s funeral to see how lacking we are in this regard. Prime ministers contribute more to this country than the minor, and major, royals who are afforded state funerals.)

We can debate Thatcher’s legacy another day. Personally, I don’t think she made Britain great. But she was undeniably a Great Briton. H, 8/4/13, 2.30pm

The TES has recently conducted a survey of 500 teachers asking them to name their favourite book, and from the results has produced a ‘top ten’ list. Pride and Prejudice comes in at the top, beating To Kill a Mockingbird into second place and the Harry Potter series into third. I have absolutely no issues with the top two – whilst TKaM isn’t really to my taste, I acknowledge it’s a very good book, and despite not so much murdering Pride and Prejudice in school as parading it before the baying crowd, guillotining it on the steps of the Presidential Palace and casting the body into a pit of quicklime, I like it very much. But JKR beating Austen, Orwell, Tolkien et al to secure third place? I loved the Potter books when I was younger, but this isn’t a list of books that children love, nor a list of books that the teachers surveyed think will engaged their pupils – it is, as it says, a list of their favourite titles. And there really is no getting away from the fact that Harry Potter series is for kids. There are some books which really are, to use the saccharine cliché, ‘for all ages,’ but they really are few and far between – their façade usually belying a deep, philosophic underpinning which informs the writing, resulting in repeated new revelations when returned to in later years. For me, classics such as those penned by Lewis and Tolkien fit this bill (so I’m glad to see they appear on the list) as do newer works of utter genius such as Philip Reeve’s blisteringly good Mortal Engines Quartet, a set of books which I can’t imagine ever throwing away – but these are the exception. Harry Potter, for all that it entertained me when I was younger, simply isn’t in this league – it’s a straightforward ‘Hero’s Journey’ narrative set within a Manichean good vs. evil universe., with various imaginative quirks which make it good fun and memorable. But, when read by an adult, does it raise any deeper questions? does it at any point surprise the reader in a way which isn’t, if you think about it, pretty predictable? with the exception of Snape, undoubtedly Rowling’s best character, can one muster anything beyond a vague feeling of goodwill towards the characters of it? For me at least, the answer is no, and that’s why I’m baffled as to why, according to this survey, Harry Potter is counted as a greater and more enjoyable work than some of the most shocking, moving, powerful or otherwise engaging works of literature written in the English language. A, 06/04/2013, 8.15 pm

Ordinarily, the appointment of a manager with no better credentials than winning League 2 to a side battling relegation from the Premier League would raise eyebrows. (If Paolo Di Canio, why not Steve Tilson? Answer: Di Canio scored a good volley for West Ham once, and shoved a referee.) But the appointment of Di Canio as Sunderland manager has sent a lot of eyebrows quite emphatically heavenward, because he self-identifies as a fascist, though – importantly – “not a racist”. Admittedly, there has also been a significant strain of argument suggesting that it is in itself ‘fascist’ to oppose Di Canio’s appointment on account of his political views. Most absurdly, Gabriele Marcotti, who ghostwrote the autobiography in which the offending phrases appear, not only defends him, but also compares Di Canio to Obama – yes, in a positive sense. Really.

As you might have guessed, I have little truck with these defences. Instead, I am utterly enraged by Di Canio’s appointment. Firstly, the supposed distinction between fascism and racism is hardly clear, and, to the extent that it exists, is certainly lost on many of the people of Sunderland, a city with a proud socialist and anti-fascist tradition, but where the BNP has gained ground in recent years. It is certainly not positive for an espouser of similar ideals to be the figurehead of the local football club. David Miliband, as much from family history as his period as Foreign Secretary, understands how dangerous Di Canio’s ideas are, as do the Durham miners, as did the GMB union when Di Canio was at Swindon. It is a cliché, but footballers are role models. If Sunderland enjoy glittering success on the pitch under Di Canio’s stewardship, he will become an icon of the northeast. An icon of the northeast, a self-professed fascist, with Dux tattooed on his bicep. Didn’t we win the war?

Perhaps, though, Di Canio has been simply misunderstood – just as he claims Mussolini was. But nothing he has said or done has shown any sign of recanting, or at the very least explaining, or mitigating, his past statements and actions. Ah yes, his actions. Because the fact remains that Di Canio raised his arm in fascist salute to the Lazio fans, many of whom, we can be sure, are, quite openly ‘fascists but definitely also racists’. Last month, AEK Athens midfielder Giorgos Katidis was given a life ban from all national teams after he did the same. The actions of sportsmen can be profound and their consequences far-reaching. The black power salutes made by Smith and Carlos at the Mexico Olympics of 1968 sent out a clarion call for a better world. Di Canio’s salute did the opposite. But perhaps it was merely a matter of identification with the collective, as we are told. Which no doubt also explains why, when told that some Jews found his salute offensive, Di Canio responded: “If we are in the hand of the Jewish community it’s the end”. Repeat: “a fascist not a racist”.

Were I a Sunderland fan, I would be asking how I could continue to support my club with good conscience. Only, the brutal truth is that I probably wouldn’t be. Instead, I would be clinging to any novel defence of Di Canio that I could conjure up, just as many Liverpool fans did (including me, quite shamefully, in retrospect) when Luis Suarez was accused of racist abuse, and just as many Sunderland fans are doing now. Too many football fans sacrifice their principles for the sake of their club’s glory. That is surely an overlooked tragedy of the Di Canio case.

Anyway, at least the training will run on time. H, 3/4/13, 4.20pm

 

Apparently Sussex University authorities have obtained powers from the High Court to boot the ‘Occupy Sussex’ protestors, who were complaining about the outsourcing of University jobs, off their property. The protest itself baffles me – it’s easy to cast the University of Sussex management team as the lickspittles of a Thatcherite-Murdochite-Luciferian conspiracy to crush the freeborn sons and daughters of the earth beneath the jackboot of pragmatic financial decisions; fatuously, ludicrously easy but nonetheless fatuous and ludicrous. Sure, I’m not intimately acquainted with the details of the case, but I’d bet my bottom dollar that even the minute cadre within this vanguard of the people’s revolution who are aware of what they’re protesting against (rather than just turning up to smash things and wave signs in response to the buzzword ‘privatisation’) aren’t half as clued-up as the management team who made the decision in the first place. Call me trusting, naïve, benignly ignorant, but I’m firmly of the view that occasionally the top brass make unpopular decisions based on careful evaluation of evidence and a commitment to remit of their jobs, rather than any particularly burning desire to be attacked and reviled as incompetent, mental, blinkered or evil. A, 30/03/13, 1.10pm

Having to move everything out of our rooms at the end of every term is a chore. For Trinity students, this frustration has probably been compounded by the revelation that Christian Concern, a lobby group that supports ‘corrective therapy’ for homosexuals, has been the inhabitant of their quadrangles over the Easter vacation, especially after Exeter College, after hosting Christian Concern last year, was pressured into donating the profits garnered to LGBTQ causes. I’m not so fussed. I disagree profoundly with Christian Concern’s message, but if Oxford weren’t hosting them, some other university or conference venue would be. Let’s be clear: Trinity is not “supporting Christian Concern”, as the Trinity MCR President claimed, but the reverse. Trinity is receiving pecuniary gain from the group, which will then be re-invested in its students. And, personally, I think there’s a delightful irony in a fundamentalist group funding a university that is, on the whole, liberal and tolerant, and which will produce a generation of students who overwhelmingly have no truck with their retrograde philosophy. Let Christian Concern carry on paying for us to be better people than them, I say. H, 28/3/13, 10.40am

First of all, David Miliband’s departure – which has surprised many pundits – is sad for the Labour Party. There is undoubtedly a paucity of talent in the upper echelons of the Parliamentary Labour Party (with vast reserves of talent in the 2010 intake), and so for one of its most distinguished voices to be lost is a great blow. His speech on the Welfare Bill in January evinced his devastating combination of intellectual force, rhetorical skill and cognisance of what the public wants. Far fewer politicians exhibit all three of these characteristics than one might think, and that is why David Miliband would have been such an asset to a future Labour government, just as he was an asset to the last one as foreign secretary. Clearly, David could not bear to serve under his brother, and for familial reasons as well as the loss to the Labour Party, that is sad.

But, more significantly, this is a tragedy for David Miliband. Yes, the job in New York may be great (and yes, there’s amusement in ‘brains’ going to run International Rescue) but this was by no means Miliband’s life goal. He has spent all his life working in politics. And then, when finally in parliament, he spent all his time gearing up to become Prime Minister. He was a minister of state within one year of becoming an MP – an absurdly rapid rise – and a secretary of state within five. Blair, or at the very least ‘close allies’ of his, encouraged Miliband to challenge Gordon Brown for the leadership in 2007. He clearly entertained the prospect of challenging Brown at several points before 2010. Make no mistake: David Miliband was meant to be Prime Minister. It was as close to a political inevitability as you will find in Westminster. But he is never going to be, and his resignation today is an admission of that.

Of course, the failure to become Prime Minister is largely his fault. Much has been made of the trade unions’ role in propelling Ed Miliband to victory in the leadership election of 2010, but the truth is that the sole reason that David Miliband lost was David Miliband. Under Labour’s bizarre electoral college system, David merely needed to accrue the votes of four more MPs in order to win. But David, unlike any of the other candidates, delegated the role of securing the votes of MPs to a plenipotentiary, and MPs (particularly new ones) who should have voted for David voted for Ed. I’m not sure it’s true that he should have run after James Purnell resigned in June 2009: Parliament was in disarray at the time over the Expenses Scandal, and a change of Prime Minister could well have sparked a general election, which Labour – having just come third in the European elections – was in no fit state to fight. Instead, Miliband should have gone over the top in January 2010, on the day of the much-maligned Hoon-Hewitt plot, which actually, as Rawnsley tells us, should be known as the Harman plot, and stood a far better chance of toppling Brown than was clear at the time. But perhaps to be Prime Minister you need a ruthlessness that David Miliband didn’t show.

The requisite ruthlessness was shown by David’s brother Ed, who stood against his brother for the leadership, knowing that if he did not stand, his brother would very probably realise his ambition of being Prime Minister. And his brother’s resignation is very good news for Ed Miliband. Firstly, the Miliband psychodrama is over. There were many in the Labour Party who feared that, having just rid itself of the crippling Blair-Brown rivalry, the Party had replaced it with the same thing, except this time with two brothers as the main actors. This fear has now evaporated, and that is to the benefit of Ed Miliband. David remained in Westminster in the hope that his brother would prove unequipped for the task of leadership. His resignation is a declaration that Ed’s position is secure enough to fight the next election, and that he will win. A double-boon, then, for Ed: he will be Prime Minister, and while he is, the ‘prince across the water’ will literally be across the water.  

A rosy-enough picture for the Labour Party then? A leading light is lost to the third sector, but only because he thinks the Labour Party is set for government. But as they did with Bevan, Healey, Jenkins and more, the Labour Party will wonder what might have been. H, 27/3/13, 1.40pm

As a result of the Stafford Hospital scandal, ministers have announced that henceforth the NHS will have ‘a legal duty to be honest about mistakes as part of an overhaul of the system.’ The mere fact that this ‘reform’ is being sold as such – and that mendacity is so commonly encountered in the institution as to make honesty an oddity – is atrociously depressing. I ask this rhetorically, but surely suitability for public service is dependent upon basic standards of morality, honesty and reliability? If this isn’t the case, then there’s far wider problem than the recommendations of the government report could possibly hope to deal with, and something that ministers will have to address at some point. A, 26/03/13, 4pm

I’m mostly glad that the St. Hugh’s graduate student brouhaha is over because I’ll no longer feel sad seeing respectable, sensible people using the saga to say “Look, Oxford is BAD” or, in the Daily Mail’s case, “ANTI-POOR“. (Of course, the Daily Mail isn’t really respectable or sensible.) But I don’t feel sad because they’re wrong, but because their anger shouldn’t be directed just at Oxford, but at all universities, and at the government. I can quite easily understand St. Hugh’s rejecting the potential student on the grounds that he didn’t have sufficient funds. But I struggle to understand why he can’t get funding. This is clearly not some jolly to postpone getting a job. Damien Shannon really wanted to study at Oxford: he was prepared to take St. Hugh’s to court, with the risk of bankruptcy if he lost, just to be able to do a master’s. But the most important point is that for every Damien Shannon, there are far more potential students who don’t get in, or don’t even apply, because they don’t have funding. That is the country’s loss. Academia should not just be for the lucky and the rich. H, 24/3/13, 12pm

So Alex Salmond has finally announced the date of the referendum over Scotland’s place within the United Kingdom. It’d be a crying shame to break up what’s been one hell of a 300 year long party, but I suppose it’s their decision to make. Only one thought really – whether they vote to stay or leave, I’d really love to witness the swift and brutal execution of the phrases ‘Westminster government’ and ‘the government at Westminster’ – phrases that denote what is popularly known as ‘the government’. I really wouldn’t mind if these phrases weren’t quite so patently political constructions; so smugly, detestably and self-evidently cooked up by some nationalist policy wonk in order to create a ‘Scottish political identity’ distinct from a British one, so mechanically and incessantly deployed in interviews and speeches by increasingly bovine politicians of the nationalist camp, and so spectacularly redolent of the contempt in which the political classes hold their electors. A, 21/03/13, 5.40 pm

I was planning on writing something about the Budget. About how Osborne is a poor Chancellor, in both senses, perhaps, or about the Evening Standard mistakenly releasing the details of the Budget early. But then I realised that very few people outside of the world of politics actually care. I mean, I obviously knew that nobody cared. I knew that from declining turnout at general elections and from the general apathy in the nation about politics. Not local ‘there are too many potholes on my road, sort it out please Councillor’ politics, but national politics – the Westminster bubble – about which there is considerable apathy, if not downright antagonism. I knew all this. But I’m not sure I fully appreciated it. This evening, I saw an elderly well-dressed man on a relatively prosperous high street scavenging for past-it fruit outside a greengrocer, and it hit me how truly and utterly irrelevant the Budget really is. By this I don’t mean that the economic policy of the government is irrelevant: it is quite the opposite. But Ed Miliband’s response is irrelevant, the early reporting by the Evening Standard is irrelevant, the heckling in the House of Commons is irrelevant, Osborne losing his voice for a little bit and sipping some water like Marco Rubio is irrelevant, despite what politicos on Twitter might have you believe. For once I’m not going to be a politics-obsessive-geek. Instead, I’m going to stick my fingers in my ears and just say ‘not interested in all that’. Because real people in the real world aren’t talking about the Budget, but are grappling with their budget. H, 20/3/13, 11.30pm

You might have seen that St. Hilda’s has sacked a graduate student/librarian who allowed students to film a Harlem Shake video in and amongst the books. To me, the Harlem Shake was a not-that-funny craze that continued to be not-that-funny for far too long (although this and this are glittering exceptions to the rule), and so I’ve struggled valiantly for a way to conjure up an ‘interesting’ or ‘different’ take on this story. But I can’t. [Update, 19/3/13: it turns out my view on this is so mainstream that I’m with the Daily Telegraph. Apologies.] The reports of this could just as accurately, if far less respectably, have been headlined: “College Authorities Have No Sense Of Humour Or Proportion”. Were this video to have been filmed in the throes of finals, or even just in the middle of the day, then I might have a little more sympathy for the college authorities. Even still, the Head Librarian’s ire would have been more suitable if it had been directed solely at the students engaged in the video itself, rather than the graduate student who surely had no ability to stop the ‘shakers’, regardless of whether she had the inclination.

On another note, why does St. Hilda’s employ a librarian in the deepest hours of the night? My college doesn’t, and I’ve found that my essay crises have been distinctly ameliorated by my resultant ability to ingest inordinate numbers of Peperamis and Cadbury’s Mini Rolls as I procrastinate. H, 18/3/13, 10.45pm

The debate over the Leveson report is of course an extremely emotive one – victims of press abuse have every conceivable right to be angry and upset, and to express their feelings in the media. However, due to truly appalling past experience, such people tend to avoid the media spotlight; and into this vacuum step our beloved politicos. The ham-actors who govern us commandeer the well of emotion generated by the scandal for their own use, all as part of their bid to look ‘compassionate’ and ‘human’. One cannot watch a news broadcast at the moment without witnessing an utterly depressing offering from a doe-eyed Cameron/Miller/Miliband/Balls/Harman pledging, their voices tremulous and quivering with outrage (yet steely and steadfast with resolve), to stand ‘side by side’ with the victims, or some similarly Disneyesque stock platitude. As if any of them actually care one jot – it’s saccharine, cynical and utterly revolting. A, 18/03/13, 10.20am

I was struck by John Rentoul’s article in today’s Independent on Sunday, which argues that next week’s budget is irrelevant: it is the last budget’s decision to cut the top rate of tax that counts, or, as Rentoul puts it, “probably made the difference between the Conservatives winning and not winning the next election.” I agree, and think it speaks to a wider truth about Osborne. He is not just the Chancellor, but also the government’s chief strategist. Most importantly, he is lousy at both. David Cameron might think that he is irreversibly wedded to Osborne. They embarked on a mission (now seemingly abandoned) to modernise the Conservative Party together, and their political visions are indistinguishable. But if Cameron wants to give real credence to his claim to be ‘making the tough choices’ for the economy and the country, in addition to fending off the quixotic challenges to his leadership, then he should think seriously about removing Osborne from his top table. H, 17/3/13, 1.30pm

Dizzying levels of wittering have surrounded the new pontiff’s choice of name – Vatican officials and kindly journalists inform us that Pope Francis’ decision was inspired by his saintly namesake’s devotion to the poor. All cracking stuff, but such speculation confirms the enduring power of ‘the name,’ (papal, regnal or otherwise.) Names and titles clearly have connotations – you may have noted that the truly heinous (yet suitably catchy) pun Henry and I painfully contrived as a title for this blog is based on A View from the Bridge, a play filled with (and connoting) dodgy family relations, deceit and misery. These are things that I hope our blog will avoid. So whilst wishing His Holiness all good luck in fulfilling the values that his name signifies, let’s hope that any relationship between name and action is incidental rather than divinely ordained, or this blog could make some pretty grim reading. A

Once, I was mired in an interminable queue for drinks at Bridge, when a besuited man in front of me turned to his friend and asked his opinion on the government’s decision to abolish the 50% top rate of tax. Oxford is full of these instances: discussion, sometimes self-important and usually drunken, of current affairs. Our aim in this blog is to give our perspectives on these discussions, and hopefully (though probably not) without the self-importance and drunkenness. We will talk about Oxford-centric issues, as well as those things that allegedly happen outside of the dreaming spires. Our opinions should diverge, though we shall endeavour, unlike Eddie and Marco in the play from which our witless title is derived, not to stab each other. Of that, at the very least, you can be sure. H

Jon Culshaw stars in Oxford educational animation

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Culshaw, star of the BBC’s Dead Ringers, features in ‘Rogue Planet’, an animation exploring the early history of the solar system. He voices ‘Sol i’, a hypothetical planet ejected 3.8 billion years ago.

Culshaw said in a statement, “At over five times the size of the Earth, Sol i is certainly the biggest character I’ve ever taken on. I liked the idea that the animation could turn an ancient world into a real character who could take us on a tour of our solar system’s past and the strange planets online volunteers are helping us to discover today.”

‘Rogue Planet’ is the fifth animation produced by Oxford Sparks, a web portal aimed at enabling public access and involvement with science at Oxford University.  Previous animations have covered topics such as the Large Hadron Collider and DNA.

Annabel Cook, Science Communications Officer at the University, told Cherwell, “The idea with all of the animations is that they focus on an area of science that’s very Oxford specific.”

She added, “As well as being generally appealing to the public and putting across quite simply an area of Oxford science, they can be used in schools as lesson starters.”

Oxford astrophysicist Dr Chris Lintott served as lead scientific advisor for ‘Rogue Planet’, stating, “I think the animation shows a possible past in a very accessible and amusing way, and we also hope it’ll inspire people to go to Planethunters.org and make more spectacular discoveries.”

Planet Hunters is a citizen science project supported by Oxford University, which encourages participants to help sort data from the NASA Kepler space mission.

A spokesperson for Oxford University said, “Oxford Sparks is one of many activities that the University undertakes to get the message out to everyone that science can be fun, and to tell them about some of the amazing research going on at Oxford. Other examples include the Pi Day Live interactive online event with Marcus du Sautoy on 14 March, the Oxford London Lecture, and the Oxford University Science Roadshow taking our scientists out to local schools for Science Week.

The spokesperson continued, “Science is vital to solving global problems, inventing new technologies, and helping our economy to grow, so encouraging tomorrow’s scientists should matter to everyone.”

Not the Oxford Literary Festival

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Term is at an end. But believe it or not, some things actually happen during the vacation. The Oxford Literary Festival is one of the more famous, but Not the Oxford Literary Festival, featuring the poet Adelle Stripe, will also take place.

Beginning in 2010 with just one event, Not the Oxford Literary Festival – an Albion Beatnik affair – will hold four this year. Its genesis was “one of those back of the envelope moments,” according to Dan Holloway, the organiser. “I was talking with Dennis, who runs the Albion Beatnik Bookstore, and we were lamenting the fact that all festivals seem to have the same speakers talking about the same things for large ticket prices, and we wanted to give space to the amazing local talent… and to types of literature that are traditionally ignored at festivals.”

The Oxford Literary Festival is a much grander event. Patronised by The Sunday Times, it features names like Seamus Heaney, Philip Pullman and Anthony Horowitz. “To be honest, I didn’t think the Festival knew about us, but last year we had some pleasant exchanges – we do very different things so there’s space for both,” continued Holloway. “It’s important to keep the difference, though. It’s not so much a rivalry as saying to people, ‘there’s more to Oxford culture’.”

Adelle Stripe herself, as well as reading for a PhD, is an up-and-coming contemporary poet: her third collection, Dark Corners of the Land, has recently been published to critical acclaim. She lives with her partner Benjamin Myers, a novelist and journalist. “We are both completely broke and have a house that is caving under the weight of dusty tomes,” says Stripe. I did read somewhere that writers end up with writers because nobody else will put up with them. That makes sense to me. We’re anti-social buggers.”

Back in 2006, along with Myers and Tony O’Neill, a musician and writer, Stripe founded the poetry school ‘Brutalism’. “The Brutalists see ourselves as a band who have put down their instruments and picked up their pens and scalpels instead. The only maxim we adhere to is an old punk belief, which we have bastardised for our own means. Here’s a laptop. Here’s a spell-check. Now write a book,” reads part of their manifesto.

The idea was to be honest and raw, something that modern writing perhaps lacks. “I have real issues with contemporary poetry in the UK,” Stripe claims. “Most poetry I have come across in recent anthologies has a peculiar corpse-like quality to it. It’s as though you have walked into an art gallery, and under glass boxes, on whitewashed plinths, sit a collection of porcelain roses. They are elegant to observe, immaculately rendered, objects of refined beauty, but they don’t smell of roses.”

Yet for all that Stripe strives after honesty in poetry, literary precedent is crucial to her too. In our brief interview, she mentioned more than a dozen writers who are influences on her own writing, though none of them could be called a household name. Modernist poets were particularly conspicuous. “It feels like I was born in the wrong era,” she said.

But if Modernism is an influence on Stripe, it is not conspicuous in her choice of subjects. “I have written at length about being a teenager, the 1990s, working-class culture, death, the wilderness, animals, love, violence, and loss,” she says.

The common theme to all of these, seemingly disparate, topics is that they engage with a personal experience of the past. “I write a poem to try and clarify an event that happened, or to capture an image before it gets buried in my subconscious,” Stripe explains.

Oxford, however, is not a world that Stripe is familiar with. “To me Oxford is the land of the élite. It’s Sebastian and Aloysius wandering through the streets vin Bullingdon tuxedos, drinking champagne and laughing at their ‘bedders’. It’s a life I have never known, and one I’ve always been secretly quite jealous of. I would have loved to have gone to Oxford, but sadly I was too busy getting drunk, flunking my exams, causing trouble and surviving on a steady diet of nothing.” Not that she ought to have been put off; getting drunk and flunking exams were what Brideshead was all about.

But it turns out the way to live the Brideshead dream is not through a literary career; even Waugh was forever struggling with money. Stripe’s advice for budding writers is: “Do it because if you don’t, you’ll explode. I heard a figure that something like 4% of writers make the minimum wage from writing; the others make much less. If you have a trust fund to fall back on, or a chest full of gold bullion, you’ll be fine.”

She concludes, “One more thing: don’t be frightened to experiment. Try and write something that has never been written before. Insist on defining your own culture.”

Review: Parks and Recreation

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At long last, Parks and Recreation has found its way onto British television. This graduate of the NBC comedy school – which counts 30 Rock, Community and The Office USA among its alumni – is already in its fifth season in America, enjoying critical acclaim and winning loyal fans.

The show is set in the Parks and Recreation Department in Pawnee, a small town in Indiana. Its troubled past is depicted in its murals, which feature an alarming number of atrocities against native Americans. Its residents resist change with vehemence, often by throwing objects at government employees during public forums. The town’s biggest celebrity is a miniature pony called Lil’ Sebastian.

Moustachioed Head of Department Ron Swanson despises bureaucracy, and leaves it to his deputy, Leslie Knope, to run the show. Leslie is hyperorganised and relentlessly optimistic. An avid reader of presidential biographies and passionate about getting more women into politics, middle-level government is Leslie’s raison d’être.

The first series focuses on Leslie’s determination to make an abandoned pit into a new park, after local resident Andy Dwyer falls in and breaks both his legs. But this is not a show you watch because you care about the pitfalls of planning permission. It is the characters which keep you coming back for more. And now it’s the turn of BBC Four viewers to get acquainted with the lively and lovable faces of Parks and Rec.

Among the staff is Tom Haverford: a young, ambitious Jay-Z wannabe. He loves girls but can’t get them, his walk-in-closet is his world and his favourite pastimes include abbreviating words. Much-maligned employee Jerry Gergich is mercilessly teased by his colleagues. April Ludgate is an unpaid intern whose sole aim in life is to be bored. Andy is a lazy man-child who fronts a rock band which can’t decide if it should be called ‘Mouse Rat’ or ‘ThreeSkin’ (formerly ‘FourSkin’ until one member left).

As a devoted fan of Parks and Rec, it has been strange for me to rewatch these early episodes. It’s like finding a photo album of your parents when they were in their twenties: you recognise them, but they aren’t quite the same people that you’ve come to know and love. Ron has not yet acquired his resolute majesty. Sassy, gossip-mad Donna is absent. April’s formidable misanthropic humour is not shining through. Leslie errs on the side of irritating rather than endearing. Moreover, terrifyingly chirpy state auditor Chris Traeger and his cute, nerdy assistant Ben have yet to make an appearance.

Whatever your thoughts on the first few episodes, I implore you to persevere with Parks and Rec. It is an utter joy of a show, with a first-class ensemble cast. At some point during the second season, you stop feeling like a work experience student and become a real member of the office, with deep affection for your co-workers. Give Parks and Rec a fair chance and it will pay dividends. 

Philip Pullman condemns Port Meadow buildings

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The author Philip Pullman has condemned Oxford University’s new Port Meadow accommodation, boosting the campaign against its construction.

Pullman, writer of the His Dark Materials trilogy and an Oxford resident, told the Daily Telegraph the new structures are “destructive, brutal, ugly vandalism”. He opined, “I don’t think they would have been approved if it had been known they would be this tall.”

The author’s comments come after months of protest by the Campaign to Protect Port Meadow from Oxford University (CPPMOU). Campaigners say the new graduate accommodation blocks historic views of the Oxford city skyline and have asked for the top floors of the buildings to be knocked down.

A spokesperson for the campaign told Cherwell, “Pullman’s support will help to extend the campaign’s reach. We would like to think that such a well-known voice would be heeded by the City Council and University leaders.”

Yet, they continued, “It seems unlikely that any voluntary solution will be offered. Therefore we are preparing to launch a legal challenge to the planning permission. Sadly, it would seem the only way to get Oxford City Council and Oxford University to the table is by force.”

The campaign’s petition against the accommodation had amassed over 2800 signatures. Oxford City Council has reportedly asked the University whether it would consider demolishing the top two floors of the buildings “voluntarily”, with the Head of City Development on the Council still in negotiation with the University.

An Oxford University spokesperson said, “The University has acted in good faith throughout this process, in line with all the proper procedures. A review conducted by Oxford City Council planning officers confirmed this and agreed that the University acted properly when securing planning permission.”

The spokesperson continued, “The Castle Mill buildings will provide accommodation for hundreds of students, reducing pressure on Oxford’s constricted rental housing market – an important issue for local people.”

In February, the university agreed to re-enter discussions with the council over the impact of the building work. A spokesperson said, “We recognise that the development has aroused some strong feelings and that these have every right to be heard. Concerns about the view of the buildings from Port Meadow have been and continue to be reflected in discussions with planning officers.”

Oxford resident Laura King commented, “I was on Port Meadow last week and these blocks are not just ugly, they are an horrific example of brutalism at its worst ruining a skyline unspoilt for centuries. And the shame of it is we don’t even need any more student accommodation as both universities have been ordered to reduce their numbers.”