Students at Exeter have voted to pass a motion asking comedian and alumnus of Brasenose College Michael Palin to become an honorary member of the JCR.

It is hoped that the invite will mean Mr Palin’s attendance at Exeter’s Ball Launch Party on the 29th January, with the motion stating that “all JCR members should feel welcome to attend the Orient Express Ball and Ball Launch, including Mr Palin.”

The motion goes on, “Michael Palin is a distinguished man and would be an excellent JCR member. The JCR has the power to appoint Honourary Members according to Section B.5 of the Constitution.”

Matt Slomka, who is amenities officer for the Exeter college ball and proposed the motion, told Cherwell, “Big Mike is a great guy who we’ve always thought would enjoy sampling the delights of the JCR and Ball. Some other suggestions were to invite Anne Hathaway but frankly she would Palin to insignificance beside him.”

It was whilst at Oxford that Palin first got involved with comedy, teaming up with his long-time partner, Terry Jones. He also became a member of the Oxford Revue at this time, then known as ‘the et ceteras’. He graduated from Brasenose in 1965 with a degree in Modern History, before rising to fame as part of the ‘Monty Python’ comedy troupe, with his personal contributions including the fish slapping dance and the (in)famous dead-parrot sketch. Following the end of that comedy series, the former Python made travel documentaries for the BBC, including ‘New Europe’, during which he travels across Central and Eastern Europe.

Edward Nickell, in charge of marketing for the Exeter ball, explained to Cherwell how this led to Palin’s invite: “Adam Baxter, our Orient Express Ball President, met Michael Palin in Blackwells at a book signing. Michael Palin has some great stories about his travels and lots of our JCR members are huge fans not only of his comedy but also his series ‘Around the World in 80 Days’. We’ve been thinking about having Michael Palin as a JCR member for some time now, but we realised that this ball, which is themed as a journey from European opulence through to the exotic luxury of the Orient, was exactly the sort of journey that we know Mr Palin enjoys.”
 
He continued, “I fully expect to see Mr Palin at a JCR meeting this year, in my letter to him I have made the dates of meetings very clear. Perhaps he might be around at a welfare tea too, I’ve told him that as an Honourary JCR member he is welcome to make full use of our vending machines, microwave, television and emergency contraceptive supply.

“The JCR were certainly all in favour of Mr Palin’s attendance of the Ball and his JCR membership, the vote was unanimous! Of course, some members were dismayed that other individuals have not yet been bestowed with the honour of Exeter JCR membership, there was a vocal campaign for Anne Hathaway’s membership. In light of her performance in Les Mis one of our JCR members will certainly be inviting her to the Ball. Though she doesn’t have Twitter, so her invitation will have to come via Russell Crowe.”

Mehdi’s Kebab Van on the High Street had its licence revoked by Oxford City Council on Monday.

The owners, Mehdi Karrouchi and Wadeya Karrouchi, have breached their street trading conditions a number of times over the past year, with complaints over lack of compliance with food safety and fire safety regulations, and over employing non-registered workers.

Despite several notices from council officials and meetings by the Council Licensing & Registration Subcommittee to discuss how to respond to the breaches, the siblings failed to make the required changes.

During the latest visit by council staff, one of the two employees was not registered. Samantha Howell, Licensing Officer, complained about the “dirty” van, especially the floor, which was used to store frozen chips and was covered with cardboard. Lack of protective clothing, the absence of a fire extinguisher and “out of date” first aid equipment were also criticised.

The Karrouchis were censured for storing raw burgers next to drinks cans in the fridge. Officers said there were problems with the “food safety management system, food business registration, fridges and freezers at home, disinfecting water containers, hot water supply, washing vegetables, overclothing, hand washing, chopping boards and waste disposal”.

Huseyin Cacan, who works at Mehdi’s as a chef, disagreed with the council’s findings, showing Cherwell what he claimed were valid working permits for the staff, as well as his cooking qualifications and fire safety equipment.

He stated, “I disagree with the council; I think they’re wrong. I don’t care about Mehdi’s; if this closes, maybe someone won’t give me a job. That’s a problem for me.” He also defended his working practices: “I’m a proper chef, and have been for nearly 12 years. I think it’s a bit wrong. All my customers love me.” 

Mr Karrouchi has been working in the same spot since 1994, and took over the business from his father. The City Council claims that complaints have been going back to 2007.

A spokesperson for Oxford City Council told Cherwell, “A Street Trading Consent can only be issued for up to 12 months. Every March, street traders submit a new application to trade for the forthcoming 12 months.” 

Mehdi’s had its licence renewed in March despite noise complaints from Oriel College. At the time, the Council also criticised the owners for breaching terms of waste disposal and parking outside its designated space.

Second year History student Russell Newton said, “Mehdi’s being closed will decimate my already dangerously unbalanced diet. I’ll also have to find a whole new queue to lose faith in humanity in.”

THE REMAINS of two human bodies have been found in Wadham College by builders completing renovation work on site. 

Wadham Warden Ken MacDonald sent an email to students, stating, “You may know that skeletal human remains have been uncovered by the contractor excavating an area by the Elephant Gate to complete drainage improvement works. The police were called as standard procedure when human remains are unexpectedly found. As expected, the archaeologist asked to attend the scene confirmed that the skeletal remains are archaeological.”

After initial investigations, Thames Valley Police confirmed that “there were no suspicious circumstances” as it is believed the remains are at least 100 years old. However, if it is revealed that the bodies are under 40 years old then forensic experts will have to begin a criminal investigation. 

A modern bullet case was also found in the same area a day before the first body was unearthed. A contractor took the bullet as a memento, not knowing that the site would turn into a potential crime scene the next day. The bullet was returned and examined, but police have since deemed it as being unconnected to the bodies. 

MacDonald confirmed, “A modern shell casing found by the contractor the day before the skeletal remains were uncovered is not connected with the burials.

“The current view from the archaeologist is that the human remains are two burials, probably from the time when the site was part of the precinct of the medieval Austin Friary. As the contractor has to dig a deeper trench, the archaeologist is excavating, recording and removing the burials over the next few days. The removal of the burials is being undertaken sensitively, in line with archaeological procedures.” 

The first skeleton was found on Wednesday morning lying intact, lengthways, as if it had been buried in a coffin. The discovery of a second body on Thursday has led the investigative team to suspect that the priory site could be bigger than previously supposed.

Glenn Milner, who has been working on the site, told Cherwell that the archaeologists have “put the second body on hold” whilst they ascertain the identity of the first, and therefore aren’t releasing any information about it. They continued, “As the archaeologists find out more about the bodies, they will issue information over the next few days. We know everyone’s very curious to find out what’s been going on.” 

Roseanne Chantiluke, a second-year French and Spanish student at Wadham, said, “It’s quite disconcerting to know I’ve been walking on people’s heads all this time. But the case is also intriguing; it’s all a bit of a mystery.”

Jeremy Stothart, a Wadham PPE student, commented, “It’s left me wondering how many skeletons are down there or if there’s been some sort of atrocity committed in the past which has been covered up.

“Obviously, with the room ballot now going on, people will be very reluctant to choose staircase nine. I’ve also heard from several people that the staircase is haunted.”

Coverage of the protest outside the Union (published 24-1-13)

JULIAN ASSANGE appeared at the Oxford Union via video link on Wednesday night to speak to a packed chamber as part of the Sam Adams Awards. 

Downplaying a protest that had gathered outside the Union, he used his 20-minute talk to criticise The Fifth Estate, Hollywood’s attempt to dramatise the WikiLeaks saga. Claiming that he had acquired a script of the film, which stars Benedict Cumberbatch as its lead, the Australian fugitive branded the film “a propaganda attack against WikiLeaks and my staff.” Its characterisation of the organisation, he told the 400-strong audience, is “a lie upon a lie.” 

A half-hour question and answer session followed the talk. Lizzie Porter, a fourth-year linguist at St John’s, asked Assange how much longer he planned to stay in the Ecuadorian Embassy. “We will see. Who knows?” he said with a smile. The WikiLeaks leader is now into his seventh month inside the embassy, from where he is evading Swedish prosecutors amidst allegations of serious sexual assault. 

Rachel Savage, a PPE finalist at Lincoln, made Assange wince for the first time that evening: “What would you say to the protesters outside who say your appearance tonight diminishes the seriousness of rape and sexual assault?” 

“I heard there was a protest,” he acknowledged, “But we sent our cameras out there before joining you tonight and there were 28 supporters of me and of no one else.” 

However, general sentiment at the protest was critical of Assange. At its peak, 70 protesters gathered on St Michael’s Street outside the Union. They chanted, “Oxford Union you should know, no means no means no means no.” 

However, one student, who lives near the Union and wished to remain anonymous, observed that the protest was “much smaller than expected.” Ciaron O’Reilly, an Australian campaigner and ‘Christian anarchist’ told Cherwell that the protestors were merely “echoing the US government.” 

Cherwell’s correspondent asked Tom Fingar, the award’s recipient, whether he had any warm words for Assange. In his speech he had offered the former US State Department official words of praise, but Fingar only wished Assange “good luck.” Fingar has previously sought to “disassociate” himself from Wikileaks. In an email to the protest’s organiser Simone Webb last week, Fingar ex plained, “I am appalled by the theft and distribution of US government documents because it violates the law, personal obligations, and professional ethics.” 

Fingar continued, “Moreover, the charges against him are serious and the evidence apparently sufficiently compelling to persuade judicial officials in two countries that he should answer them.” 

The award recognises intelligence professionals or ‘whistleblowers’ willing to take risks to honour the public’s need to know, and is judged by the Sam Adams Associates for Integrity in Intelligence, a group of retired CIA officers. 

This week, more college JCRs passed motions expressing their opposition to the Union’s decision to host Assange. 

Following a debate, the president of Corpus Christi College JCR, Patricia Stephenson, wrote a letter to the Union, saying that “Corpuscles feel that by allowing Assange to speak at the Union it suggests that the institution in itself does not condemn those who are fleeing criminal charges and refusing to face trial for a criminal offence.” She added that to host Mr Assange suggested that the Union did not respect the criminal justice system. 

She went on to say, “Given the mistaken perception that the Oxford Union is affiliated with Oxford University as a whole, the Union’s invitation to Assange has the potential to negatively impact the public perception of all students at Oxford.” 

Balliol College JCR also supported OUSU’s motion condemning the Union’s decision to give Assange a platform. All three of its OUSU delegate votes went in favour of the motion condemning the invitation. 

Reports recently released by the Higher Education Statistics Agency show the number of firsts and upper-second-class degrees awarded have substantially risen in all universities except Oxford and Cambridge.

The number of firsts awarded between 1999 and 2012 trebled from 20,700 to 61,605. The rise in firsts achieved in Oxford has been disproportionate to the national figures, with 20% being awarded in 2000 and rising to only 29% in 2011. The increase has been even smaller in Cambridge, rising from 21% to 24% over the same period.

Bahram Bekhradnia, director of the Higher Education Policy Institute in Oxford, said, “We do not know why more students have been getting firsts. It could be that they are working harder or it could be that they are better taught than in the past. It could be that, as the nature of assessment has changed with a greater emphasis on coursework and less on a single summative exam, it has allowed harder working students to do better. Or it could be that marking is less rigorous. I suspect it is probably a combination of these factors.”

Professor Joseph Farrell, formerly of the University of Strathclyde, commented, “It used to be that any Honours degree was of value, including a third. Now virtually no one gets a third, since it is as welcome as a diagnosis of the plague. The 2:2 is going the same way. Many employers will only engage people with a 2:1 or above. A 2:2 is now regarded as of little value.

“The fundamental point is how to interpret the rise in the number…does this rise represent an improvement in quality in student knowledge and understanding, or does it represent a fall in marking standards? There is an optimistic answer and a pessimistic answer. I see no reason for optimism.”

Universities control their courses and the awarding of degrees. A spokesperson for the Quality Assurance Agency for Higher Education said, “Higher education institutions are responsible for ensuring that policies – including those that guide grading and award classification – are fair. Our review teams check how they meet their responsibilities, but do not second-guess decisions made about the achievements of individual students.”

One Oxford student, who achieved a first at Prelims, commented, “Because Oxford still sticks by its approach of evaluating essays as individual points of views as opposed to a checklist of right answers, it makes it harder to know for sure how one can get a First. A lot is therefore left as guesswork and luck, which is hard for any student to prepare for.”

A student at Jesus College claimed the slower rise in the number of firsts is reflective of the increased difficulty of attending Oxford and Cambridge. “I went home exhausted, and told my parents I was scraping a 2:1 despite working harder than I ever had,” he said.

“My sister on the other hand returned home bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and declared she was working at a first quite easily, while still having more free time than she could productively fill. She spent the vac socialising and occasionally revising for multiple choice exams.”

In his blog for the Telegraph, Toby Young commented: “In the end it’s today’s best students I feel sorry for… their firsts can only be worth half as much to them as mine was to me since they’re now twice as easy to get. The problem with the all-must-win-prizes philosophy is that no prize is worth winning.”

A spokesperson for Oxford University stated, “The pursuit of academic excellence is one of the key aims of the University of Oxford and this is reflected in the standards expected of the University’s staff and the students.”

Half of the UK’s top universities took on fewer students last year following the government’s decision to raise undergraduate fees to a potential £9,000. 

Recently published data by UCAS reveals that ten out of 24 Russell Group institutions had fewer accepted applicants in 2012. 

The statistics also show that a number of other universities saw a dramatic drop in student numbers, including London Metropolitan University, which experienced a shortfall of more than 3,000 applications in the past year compared with previous years. Likewise, Cumbria has seen an 18 per cent reduction in the number of full-time students because of fewer applications. 

The Marketing and Communications Manager of the University of Cumbria Student Union said, “Some people have been deterred by the higher fees, and the economic climate may also have deterred people. With the fees and the graduate jobs situation the way it is, I think some people may be asking whether it is worthwhile going to university. Judging by the figures, some may decide it would be better to study part-time while working as well.” 

The UCAS data expose that among the Russell Group universities, Birmingham, Imperial College London, Leeds, Liverpool, Manchester, Nottingham, Queen Mary, Sheffield, Southampton and Warwick all accepted fewer students last autumn, compared with 2011. 

Sheffield saw a seven per cent fall in applications in 2012, but the applications for 2013 look more promising with an application increase of 13 per cent. More applications have been made than before the Government overhaul. 

A representative of Sheffield Admissions said, “The university’s current position is also more positive than the national admissions picture.” 

She continued, “We believe this reflects an increasing recognition of the value of a degree from an excellent research-led university such as Sheffield.” 

Despite the national fall of 50,000 applications in England alone, Oxford student places have remained consistent throughout. According to University statistics, Oxford has had almost the same number of places available each year for undergraduates (around 3,200) while applications have remained steady at around 17,000 applications over the past three years. 

A spokesman from the University Press Office commented, “While numbers fluctuate slightly from year to year, the University has not been expanding, nor is it planning to expand its undergraduate student numbers. 

“We believe applicants recognise the world-class education Oxford provides and the great benefits of the collegiate system. We believe that the steady applications over the last two rounds reflect an understanding that, in the new fees regime, Oxford is outstanding value, is no more expensive than any other university, and offers an exceptionally generous financial support package for lower-income students.” 

A second-year historian agreed with this, commenting, “University education has been turned into a commodity; the calibre of education people associate with Oxford means that more young people are opting for an education they expect to be better value for money.” 

The financial package Oxford offers for low-income students is the most generous of any other university in the country, and includes both fee waivers and bursaries for living costs. 

Currently one in ten of Oxford’s UK undergraduates comes from households with incomes below £16,000, the threshold for Free School Meals eligibility and for Oxford’s most generous financial assistance. 

One college access representative said, “Oxford has long been known for its substantial support packages, and I think now more than ever this has become a key consideration for students making applications.”

RESEARCH PUBLISHED last Thursday has revealed a new breakthrough in the early treatment of the HIV infection. 

The study shows that when taken in the early stages of infection, a 48-week course of antiretroviral medication slows damage to the immune system and delays the need for long-term treatment. 

The research also suggests that the treatment lowers the amount of virus in the blood for up to 60 weeks after it is stopped, potentially reducing the risk of onward transmission. The scientists found no evidence that treatment within the first six months of infection led to an increased virus resistance, or damage to the immune system. 

Professor Rodney Phillips said, “Analysis of this material, coordinated by Dr John Frater, has yielded highly novel insights into the interaction between HIV, the human immune system and anti-HIV drugs.” 

The randomised controlled trial, the largest of its kind, took place over five years, and involved 366 adults. The research into early treatment of HIV began in Oxford in the late 1990s, headed by Professor Phillips. He then coordinated with researchers Imperial College London and the Medical Research Council’s Clinical Trials Unit, and gained funding from the Wellcome Trust. 

A second year Medic said, “This research highlights how vital early recognition of HIV is, and the importance of regular sexual health check ups. Any development at all in the fight against the infection is brilliant, and it’s great to see Oxford’s involvement.” 

A “joke” motion, in which two students asked for the provision of lube, was passed in a Pembroke JCR meeting last Sunday. The motion was recognised by its proposers to be moot, as lube is already provided for free at Pembroke. However, the request for lube seems to have been made solely in order that the proposers could include a plethora of scatological puns.

The meeting at which the motion aired was the first of term, and also on the agenda were eight charity motions, self-defence classes for women and constitutional reform. The girlfriend and boyfriend team, Jessica Kempner and Michael Smith, who respectively proposed and seconded the motion, asked to have lube “readily available at all times via the contraception box.” The motion then went on to imply that the lube being asked for would be needed for anal sex through the use of puns. Cherwell has counted at least 10 anus-related puns in total in the motion.

According to the proposition, lube should be provided ‘by the back door’ of Pembroke JCR. ‘Without being too anal’ it continues ‘this JCR should be bending over backwards to get to the bottom of why the needs of some of its more adventurous members have not been consistently accommodated for.’

‘This JCR resolves to not turn the other cheek butt be certain that no other member of this JCR need ever have reason to ars-ke themselves why their needs have not rear-ly been addressed. And to the naysayers this JCR says, poo poo!’

The motion was sent out in a pre-meeting email containing proposed motions by JCR secretary, Ella St George Carey. Following the listing of the motion, Carey told Pembroke “There are no words”. However, a lack of verbosity didn’t seem to be an issue the girlfriend-boyfriend team faced, as they flaunted both their flair for the literary conceit and sexual proclivities in the flatulently pun-tastic motion.

Jessica Kempner and Michael Smith told Cherwell: “…one night last week we found ourselves in a dark, dark hole, bummed out to discover a scary lack of lube in the college contraceptive box. Not wanting to beat around the bush, we turned to the only man we knew might be able to help – Kris Blake, Welfare Rep extraordinaire…The motion we proposed was to prevent future sexual visionaries from having their efforts thwarted by finding Kris either absent from his room, or worse, having used all the lube himself.”

During the JCR meeting, the Kempner admitted that it was not a serious request:  minutes from the meeting record her saying “Basically, we’ve since come to realise that the situation has been rectified, we just wanted a funny email.” The motion passed nonetheless.

However, not everyone was amused. The only “no vote” came from Jack Kinnersley, who commented “I am strongly against this kind of “joke” motion…. [which] threatens to undermine the serious job that the JCR provides in representing students, and believe these kind of joke motions distract from the real issues. I did not find the motion funny, instead I found it predictable and immature. I would also wish for the 2 students who proposed the motion to exercise their egos elsewhere in the future.”

He also added: “On the title of the motion I do not believe that every hole should be considered a goal, although I do not wish to be drawn in on which specific holes can be considered goals.”

Kris Blake and Annie Smith, the JCR Welfare Officers at Pembroke, commented “…clearly Pembroke is just an adventurous college. Overall it was a light-hearted motion that got a fair few laughs.” They also added that the motion “didn’t leave a (w)hole lot up to the imagination..”

David White, Pembroke JCR President, when asked his opinion of ‘joke’ motions, remarked “‘Joke’ motions are fine in moderation, although if they are discussed too regularly they can become a bit of a pain-in-the-arse.”

An inanimate carbon rod has announced its candidacy for the presidency of the National Union of Students.

The Rod appears to have been inspired to run for office after the success of another inanimate carbon rod in a recent episode of The Simpsons in which, among other achievements, the Rod beats Homer to the position of Worker of the Week.

The Rod’s online manifesto page declares “as President, I will represent all students, regardless of politics, and without sarcasm or aggression or inaccessible language and behaviour, because as an inanimate rod, I am incapable of having or displaying emotions.”

“Place your trust in Rod, and I believe, together, we can build a student movement, and a workers bomb to define a generation.”

The Carbon Rod is also running with the more radical policy of building a bomb to destroy “the parasitic classes that are destroying our society and our Student Union.”

It argues that “only through dynamic and efficient construction of this bomb can we return control of Student Unions to their students, and workplaces to their workers.”

David J Townsend, OUSU President, told Cherwell “I think I.C. Rod has a lot going for him: strong, hardy, reliable, a hero of the Space Programme and a prominent guest star on The Simpsons.

“Truth be told, I see a lot of myself in him: it’s a little known fact that I’m 18% carbon by mass.  In these crazy silicon chip times, it’s nice to see a candidate that brings us back to good old fashioned carbon-based values- ROD 2013!”

He denied that the Rod’s candidacy is a criticism of student unions: “it’s a sign that students, even in the far remove of the NUS, have a sense of humour about themselves.

“Oxford is unusual in not having more jest and zest in its student union elections: at most universities you would at the very least have someone in a gorilla suit running to be president.”

However, Oxford undergraduates were more critical of the role played by the Students Union in Oxford.

Shirley Halse, a second year English student commented “the only thing they’re useful for is discounts; they’re like the union but not quite as bad.”

Raph Torrance told the paper “an inanimate carbon rod has more personality than the average NUS candidate.”

Michael Zhang, a physicist from Lincoln, expressed his support for the Rod: “I think the Carbon Rod will make a big difference, it would be a lot better than the other guys.”

The TV series Endeavour was being filmed at various locations across Oxford earlier this week. 

An Inspector Morse prequel, Endeavour is set in the mid-1960s, with Shaun Evans playing the lead role. 

Filming took place at Keble College on Sunday and Monday, at Holywell Street and New College Lane on Tuesday, and around the Radcliffe Camera and Hertford on Wednesday. 

Roger Boden, the Bursar of Keble College, said, “The episode will, I believe, be the first time Keble has featured in the Morse saga.”