Friday, May 16, 2025
Blog Page 1831

Having a ball

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Just imagine the scene: a ball dress, floor length, streaming to the ground in waves of silk or chiffon or taffeta; it’s been dry cleaned; the shoes and bag have been meticulously matched; your hair has been teased into flowing curls. And then, some oaf stumbles past, their DJ tacky with the lurid stickiness of VKs, and suddenly your perfect dress is suffering from a large splodge of Mission burrito right on the chest, and your dress, like the rest of your night, is ruined.  Yes, ball season is upon us, but Cherwell have some tips for making the most of the food and drink on offer, while avoiding spending the night in the loos with the hand soap.

It’s unlimited alcohol, so it would be a travesty not to get your money’s worth.  Stick to clear alcohols and mixers – not only will they give you less of a hangover the next day, but gin and tonic, vodka and lemonade and the majority of shots dry quickly and aren’t going to leave a whacking great mark on your clothes.

 Red wine is always going to spell danger for a light coloured dress.  However if you do succumb to the call of a little vin rouge, there are ways to lessen the stain.  Immediately cover the patch in salt to absorb the wine, and washing should do the rest (use cold water, hot water sets stains).  Alternatively, follow the old wives’ tale of dousing yourself in white wine to get rid of the red.  We can’t honestly say whether it works but either way you’re going to stink of wine for the next 7 hours.

There’ will be lots of food on offer to line your stomach: Mission, The Big Bang, Dominos, Noodle Nation, G&D’s etc taste delicious in an inebritated stupor but these greasy delights are a disaster for clothes. Be careful is stupid advice when drunk so, wipe the stain away as quickly as possible, run cold water over it and dab.  If you’ve hired a dress, it might be an idea to bring a stain removing stick or spray as leaving it to dry makes it harder to remove. If, inevitably, you overindulge, the same rules follow for sick as well as food.

Maybe keep some perfume and a few mints to hand.And if your dress can only be salvaged by dry cleaning, the one thing left to do is keep drinking. Having a permanent drink in your hand which you can hold in front of the stain works well, or alternatively, if the situation is really desperate, steal and attach a gaudy decoration to cover it up.

Food and other drugs

In the Bekaa Valley, trays of raisins and cannabis leaves dry together under the sun. The herbal reek of hashish is headily overpowering, as men roll long cigarettes of Red Lebanese, the local speciality, over dishes of mezzeh on a plastic tablecloth. In this village in the Bekaa Valley, cannabis is as much of a time-honoured tradition as the local cuisine. The family of our campsite owner Mohamad lives in the remote outskirts of Dar Al Wasaa village, in the northern Shiite territory of the valley. Their low-walled garden is tucked into rocky hillside, where a rolling plateau of wild lavender shrubs is hemmed in by the snowy folds of Mt Lebanon and the silhouettes of cedar trees. In the wilds of these planes, flat leafed cannabis plants grow. But the cannabis farmed here is not just a commodity; it is an integral part of the area’s cultural identity. It is the valley’s life-blood, and, as Mohamad’s brother puts it, lighting a joint on the barbeque, “Hashish is very special here, it has a special place in Bekaa’s history.” He laughs, and tells me how he spent his boyhood combing local roadsides for the occasional untamed spiky-leaved plant, drying it out on his bedroom windowsill. When I ask why the crop is so important for local business, he responds darkly, “This is Lebanon. Things are more difficult here. I mean, who can make a living by just growing tomatoes?” Until relatively recently, he explains, hashish had value as a kind of social currency. It was used in a system of collective barter and exchange, where it was given in the place of dowries and used to settle debts. One thing is clear, away from the sterile brashness of central Beirut and the seedy glitz of its downtown, the poverty in these remote parts of the Bekaa Valley is real. This community needs to farm hashish to survive. 

The fertile flatness of Lebanon’s most productive valley is where two very different traditions of farming grow side by side. Here food and drugs are twin industries, where the rich soil impartially nourishes both vegetable and narcotic alike. Despite the US sponsored crackdown in the mid 90s, where drug fields were ploughed and sprayed with poison, the governmental instability and political traumas of the last five years have meant cultivation has significantly increased. In the valley’s remote northern outreaches, green plantations of cannabis edge into orchards of apples, and opium poppies grow amongst wheat fields. These territories are predominantly Hezbollah strongholds, and while the official party-line condemns drug production, in reality, it more often than not chooses to overlook the cultivation of hashish and heroin refinement which goes on in the area. Mohamad explains that there is actually a certain level of collaboration between the valley’s drug underworld and Hezbollah officials. Drug dealers from the Bekaa are permitted to smuggle cannabis and heroin into Israel as long as they provide Hezbollah with  intelligence on the IDF. Since the Lebanon War in 2006, and the sporadic clashes with Israel since, central government has a weakened grip on Bekaa’s rural localities. The valley is portioned off into powerful mafia kingdoms run by tribal clans. Mohamad tells us that in Dar Al Wasaa, people do not respect the authority of national institutions any more, instead they answer to local drug barons. When I ask who the mafia boss in this village is, a shadow passes across his face. He doesn’t want to talk about it. Closing his eyes in the sunlight, Mohamad finds it hard to put into words the perversions of law and order that regulate life here. As more and more of the country’s soldiers are siphoned off to deal with security commitments elsewhere, the situation in the Bekaa Valley gets progressively worse. Lawlessness is an ideal growing condition for the cannabis plant.  It seems central government is losing control of Lebanon’s wild, wild East. 
Barbecue smoke and hashish mingle. The pungent smelling sacks of cannabis leaves and seeds are heaped up in a breezeblock shed, while in the garden, spatchcocked chickens hiss on hot charcoal. A world away from the corporate drabness of Beirut’s greasy falafel franchises, the traditions of peasant cookery in the Bekaa valley still centre on the principles of seasonality and subsistence. The practice of mouneh is at the heart of village life. This ancient art of food preservation stores the summer harvest for the barren winter months to follow. Mohamad’s mother Fatima produces an extraordinary selection of jams, jellies, syrups, perfumed waters, pickles and oils left over from this year’s mouneh store. The spring sunlight illuminates jewel-like bottles of mulberry and pomegranate molasses, while jars of dark thyme-scented honey are treacly opaque. These dusty pots and containers are an intensely nostalgic memory of childhood for Mohamad. He tells me how he remembers eating dried figs in summertime sitting in the hashish fields. On the table there are dark green bottles of hemp oil, like glossy pond-water, made from crushing the seeds of the cannabis plant. I spread the coral-coloured crush of watermelon jam on thin bread, and glue my fingers together with the syrupy stick of candied pumpkin. Fatima passes around fat kibbeh, flavoured with sumac and smokily rich leeyeh (sheep tail fat), and a large dish of labneh b’toom, mildly acidic yoghurt blended with garlic. Our chicken is accompanied by the fruity sourness of pickled baby aubergines, swollen in grape juice vinegar.  Fatima’s mouneh stash is a storehouse of tradition; preserving more than pickles in the process, she is salvaging a culturally historic art that many have abandoned. 
Old traditions often find new ways of surviving.  As we drive away from rural farmland and onto the dusty stretch of motorway that cuts into the valley, Mohamad points out the bustling roadside clothes markets. He explains how the drug dealers operating in Bekaa have been forced into adopting new, more secretive methods of distribution; where sellers now sew marijuana, cocaine, and heroine into the pockets of jeans. In a valley that is at once a living, breathing symbol of fruition and fertility, there is also a sinister shadow of death and destruction that darkens the Edenic picture. Mohamed, squinting in the sun, gestures with a smoking cigar to the breezeblock buildings that are stencilled with green Hezbollah rifles: he says “in this area, there is no fighting, only killing. When a conflict breaks out, there are no physical fights and no fists are involved, instead people bring out their army machine guns. Imagine… AK47s to settle arguments! It’s a massacre.” Here the houses of normal villagers bristle with military metal, where family homes are loaded with stocks of weaponry and ammunition left over from the war. In this part of town, Mohamad tells me, the window repair business flourishes. 
I spit the pips of a melon as daylight dies in the valley. From the stump of a Roman colonnade in Baalbek, I can make out the entire grassy plateau. It seems obvious that the future of the Bekaa Valley depends on positive UN intervention. Its promises of irrigation projects and alternative crop subsidies never materialised. Until there are changes made, it is certain that the fertile soil of the valley will play host to vegetable and narcotic alike. And for now the political problem of the Bekaa remains un-weeded.

In the Bekaa Valley, trays of raisins and cannabis leaves dry together under the sun. The herbal reek of hashish is headily overpowering, as men roll long cigarettes of Red Lebanese, the local speciality, over dishes of mezzeh on a plastic tablecloth. In this village in the Bekaa Valley, cannabis is as much of a time-honoured tradition as the local cuisine. The family of our campsite owner Mohamad lives in the remote outskirts of Dar Al Wasaa village, in the northern Shiite territory of the valley. Their low-walled garden is tucked into rocky hillside, where a rolling plateau of wild lavender shrubs is hemmed in by the snowy folds of Mt Lebanon and the silhouettes of cedar trees. In the wilds of these planes, flat leafed cannabis plants grow. But the cannabis farmed here is not just a commodity; it is an integral part of the area’s cultural identity. It is the valley’s life-blood, and, as Mohamad’s brother puts it, lighting a joint on the barbeque, “Hashish is very special here, it has a special place in Bekaa’s history.” He laughs, and tells me how he spent his boyhood combing local roadsides for the occasional untamed spiky-leaved plant, drying it out on his bedroom windowsill. When I ask why the crop is so important for local business, he responds darkly, “This is Lebanon. Things are more difficult here. I mean, who can make a living by just growing tomatoes?” Until relatively recently, he explains, hashish had value as a kind of social currency. It was used in a system of collective barter and exchange, where it was given in the place of dowries and used to settle debts. One thing is clear, away from the sterile brashness of central Beirut and the seedy glitz of its downtown, the poverty in these remote parts of the Bekaa Valley is real. This community needs to farm hashish to survive. 

The fertile flatness of Lebanon’s most productive valley is where two very different traditions of farming grow side by side. Here food and drugs are twin industries, where the rich soil impartially nourishes both vegetable and narcotic alike. Despite the US sponsored crackdown in the mid 90s, where drug fields were ploughed and sprayed with poison, the governmental instability and political traumas of the last five years have meant cultivation has significantly increased. In the valley’s remote northern outreaches, green plantations of cannabis edge into orchards of apples, and opium poppies grow amongst wheat fields. These territories are predominantly Hezbollah strongholds, and while the official party-line condemns drug production, in reality, it more often than not chooses to overlook the cultivation of hashish and heroin refinement which goes on in the area. Mohamad explains that there is actually a certain level of collaboration between the valley’s drug underworld and Hezbollah officials. Drug dealers from the Bekaa are permitted to smuggle cannabis and heroin into Israel as long as they provide Hezbollah with  intelligence on the IDF. Since the Lebanon War in 2006, and the sporadic clashes with Israel since, central government has a weakened grip on Bekaa’s rural localities. The valley is portioned off into powerful mafia kingdoms run by tribal clans. Mohamad tells us that in Dar Al Wasaa, people do not respect the authority of national institutions any more, instead they answer to local drug barons. When I ask who the mafia boss in this village is, a shadow passes across his face. He doesn’t want to talk about it. Closing his eyes in the sunlight, Mohamad finds it hard to put into words the perversions of law and order that regulate life here. As more and more of the country’s soldiers are siphoned off to deal with security commitments elsewhere, the situation in the Bekaa Valley gets progressively worse. Lawlessness is an ideal growing condition for the cannabis plant.  It seems central government is losing control of Lebanon’s wild, wild East. 
Barbecue smoke and hashish mingle. The pungent smelling sacks of cannabis leaves and seeds are heaped up in a breezeblock shed, while in the garden, spatchcocked chickens hiss on hot charcoal. A world away from the corporate drabness of Beirut’s greasy falafel franchises, the traditions of peasant cookery in the Bekaa valley still centre on the principles of seasonality and subsistence. The practice of mouneh is at the heart of village life. This ancient art of food preservation stores the summer harvest for the barren winter months to follow. Mohamad’s mother Fatima produces an extraordinary selection of jams, jellies, syrups, perfumed waters, pickles and oils left over from this year’s mouneh store. The spring sunlight illuminates jewel-like bottles of mulberry and pomegranate molasses, while jars of dark thyme-scented honey are treacly opaque. These dusty pots and containers are an intensely nostalgic memory of childhood for Mohamad. He tells me how he remembers eating dried figs in summertime sitting in the hashish fields. On the table there are dark green bottles of hemp oil, like glossy pond-water, made from crushing the seeds of the cannabis plant. I spread the coral-coloured crush of watermelon jam on thin bread, and glue my fingers together with the syrupy stick of candied pumpkin. Fatima passes around fat kibbeh, flavoured with sumac and smokily rich leeyeh (sheep tail fat), and a large dish of labneh b’toom, mildly acidic yoghurt blended with garlic. Our chicken is accompanied by the fruity sourness of pickled baby aubergines, swollen in grape juice vinegar.  Fatima’s mouneh stash is a storehouse of tradition; preserving more than pickles in the process, she is salvaging a culturally historic art that many have abandoned. 
Old traditions often find new ways of surviving.  As we drive away from rural farmland and onto the dusty stretch of motorway that cuts into the valley, Mohamad points out the bustling roadside clothes markets. He explains how the drug dealers operating in Bekaa have been forced into adopting new, more secretive methods of distribution; where sellers now sew marijuana, cocaine, and heroine into the pockets of jeans. In a valley that is at once a living, breathing symbol of fruition and fertility, there is also a sinister shadow of death and destruction that darkens the Edenic picture. Mohamed, squinting in the sun, gestures with a smoking cigar to the breezeblock buildings that are stencilled with green Hezbollah rifles: he says “in this area, there is no fighting, only killing. When a conflict breaks out, there are no physical fights and no fists are involved, instead people bring out their army machine guns. Imagine… AK47s to settle arguments! It’s a massacre.” Here the houses of normal villagers bristle with military metal, where family homes are loaded with stocks of weaponry and ammunition left over from the war. In this part of town, Mohamad tells me, the window repair business flourishes. 
I spit the pips of a melon as daylight dies in the valley. From the stump of a Roman colonnade in Baalbek, I can make out the entire grassy plateau. It seems obvious that the future of the Bekaa Valley depends on positive UN intervention. Its promises of irrigation projects and alternative crop subsidies never materialised. Until there are changes made, it is certain that the fertile soil of the valley will play host to vegetable and narcotic alike. And for now the political problem of the Bekaa remains un-weeded.

Max-imum exposure

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The Beatles – arguably the most successful band in the history of popular music. Simon Cowell – a music producer with an estimated net worth of £200 million. Jade Goody – a media personality who was ranked on Channel 4’s 100 Worst Britains, yet also the most mourned individual of 2009. Other than fame, only one thing ties these three together. It may be going a bit far to call this thing an institution, but there is no question about the fact that Max Clifford is a big deal. Clifford left school with no qualifications and was given a leg up by his brother into a job which would train him as a journalist. However, after taking redundancy, he made a move across enemy lines to become a publicist for EMI records. It was here he began to build up what can only be described as an unparalleled CV. With clients ranging from Frank Sinatra to David Beckham, Clifford must be very good at what he does. 

he Beatles – arguably the most successful band in the history of popular music. Simon Cowell – a music producer with an estimated net worth of £200 million. Jade Goody – a media personality who was ranked on Channel 4’s 100 Worst Britains, yet also the most mourned individual of 2009. Other than fame, only one thing ties these three together. It may be going a bit far to call this thing an institution, but there is no question about the fact that Max Clifford is a very big deal. Clifford left school with no qualifications and was given a leg up by his brother into a job which would train him as a journalist. However, after taking redundancy, he made a move across enemy lines to become a publicist for EMI records. It was here he began to build up what can only be described as an unparalleled CV. With clients ranging from Frank Sinatra to David Beckham, Clifford must be very good at what he does. 
Before I met Clifford, he had just spoken at the Union. After an emotive and compelling speech in proposition from Professor Jean Seaton and very “British” rebuttal from Bob Marshall-Andrews QC, Clifford was going to have to do a very good job arguing in favour of the motion “This house fears the Rise of Media Monopolies”. And I’ll be honest, he wasn’t at all how I’d expected. Softly spoken, humble, it wasn’t what you’d imagine from the UK’s greatest PR mogul. However, what he perhaps lacked in presentation, he made up for in conviction and content. His warning of the power of Rupert Murdoch and the influence this man had over David Cameron was delivered in an eerily serious tone, to which even the charismatic and apparently fearless Marshall-Andrews had no response. “When I found out my phone was hacked, I took on News International. None of the other people named would, including cabinet ministers and very powerful people, because they were scared and frightened of News International’s power.” So does Clifford believe that publicists have too much power? “No… I think because of the media generally speaking no. Publicists seek to have too much power, so do journalists. Journalists resent publicists or PRs because they want to have total control themselves. But the journalists, and largely speaking the media, still have the upper hand, although I would like to change that as much as I possibly can, and I do”. 
Having the job of interviewing a PR powerhouse who has just shaken one of the most influential debating chambers in the world can only be described as a bittersweet experience. On the one hand you have a chance to grill this individual on any topic you desire, on the other you’re so nervous that just holding onto the dictaphone is difficult, let alone working out how to use it. After convincing myself that it was unlikely that his tirade against the media held Cherwell specifically in mind (although you never know) we turned towards the topic of super-injunctions. Clifford has been responsible for the majority of kiss-and-tell stories that have splashed the front pages of tabloids, and is currently representing Imogen Thomas, the Big Brother star caught in the centre of the super-injunctions scandal after an alleged affair with a premiership footballer. “Yes, I’ve taken out super injunctions; I’ve got lawyers to take them out on behalf of clients, but they’re wrong because it’s a law for the rich. Ordinary people can’t afford super-injunctions which cost fifty, sixty, seventy thousand pounds from the lawyer, the QCs, the whole process. That alone makes it wrong. Also its been introduced by judges, not by parliament. In a democracy that means it’s wrong.” For a resource which would make any publicist’s job easier, Clifford’s outspoken disdain of super-injunctions is clearly a very powerful message. 
 Clifford has acknowledged the shrewd and calculating nature of the PR industry.  In the past, he has used contacts in high-end brothels to detract attention from his own clients, and he was responsible for one of the most famous, and entirely fictional, tabloid headlines of all time, ‘Freddie Starr ate my hamster’, to garner interest for Starr’s up-coming tour. In 2009, he admitted advising two high-profile gay footballers to stay in the closet to save their careers.   When I asked if Clifford thought there had been any progress made in the standing of gay footballers in recent years he responded, “Sadly, no… I said 10 years ago that hopefully it would change, but in my mind it hasn’t. Hopefully the FA will one day start to do something about it as they promised they would a year or two ago.”
Clifford is now 68, and despite over 40 years in the industry, he shows no sign of retiring. While it would appear that the name of the game has not changed much over the course of his career, the internet has changed almost every aspect of public life: “There is so much out there which is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, the super-injuctions: in the last week or so there have been two or three people named as having taken out super-injuctions who haven’t. But actually the newspapers, magazines, television have far greater impact and influence in my opinion. I’ve had seven people coming out on Facebook pretending they’re Max Clifford who have nothing to do with me at all, but that couldn’t happen in a national newspaper.” 
And yet despite this marathon of a career, it seems that Clifford has few regrets. “Have I made mistakes? Of course. I’ve had things I’ve been involved in and thought, ‘I would have done that differently’. Of course. But I love what I do and I’ve done it my own way. I’ve had far greater freedom than any journalist… by and large I’m happy with the years gone by.”

Before I met Clifford, he had just spoken at the Union. After an emotive and compelling speech in proposition from Professor Jean Seaton and a very “British” rebuttal from Bob Marshall-Andrews QC, Clifford was going to have to do a very good job arguing in favour of the motion “This house fears the Rise of Media Monopolies”. And I’ll be honest, he wasn’t at all how I’d expected. Softly spoken, humble, it wasn’t what you’d imagine from the UK’s greatest PR mogul. However, what he perhaps lacked in presentation, he made up for in conviction and content. His warning of the power of Rupert Murdoch and the influence this man had over David Cameron was delivered in an eerily serious tone, to which even the charismatic and apparently fearless Marshall-Andrews had no response. “When I found out my phone was hacked, I took on News International. None of the other people named would, including cabinet ministers and very powerful people, because they were scared and frightened of News International’s power.” So does Clifford believe that publicists have too much power? “No… I think because of the media generally speaking no. Publicists seek to have too much power, so do journalists. Journalists resent publicists or PRs because they want to have total control themselves. But the journalists, and largely speaking the media, still have the upper hand, although I would like to change that as much as I possibly can, and I do”.

 Having the job of interviewing a PR powerhouse who has just shaken one of the most influential debating chambers in the world can only be described as a bittersweet experience. On the one hand you have a chance to grill this individual on any topic you desire, on the other you’re so nervous that just holding onto the dictaphone is difficult, let alone working out how to use it. After convincing myself that it was unlikely that his tirade against the media held Cherwell specifically in mind (although you never know) we turned towards the topic of super-injunctions. Clifford has been responsible for the majority of kiss-and-tell stories that have splashed the front pages of tabloids, and is currently representing Imogen Thomas, the Big Brother star caught in the centre of the super-injunctions scandal after an alleged affair with a premiership footballer. “Yes, I’ve taken out super injunctions; I’ve got lawyers to take them out on behalf of clients, but they’re wrong because it’s a law for the rich. Ordinary people can’t afford super-injunctions which cost fifty, sixty, seventy thousand pounds from the lawyer, the QCs, the whole process. That alone makes it wrong. Also its been introduced by judges, not by parliament. In a democracy that means it’s wrong.” For a resource which would make any publicist’s job easier, Clifford’s outspoken disdain of super-injunctions is clearly a very powerful message. 

Clifford has acknowledged the shrewd and calculating nature of the PR industry.  In the past, he has used contacts in high-end brothels to detract attention from his own clients, and he was responsible for one of the most famous, and entirely fictional, tabloid headlines of all time, ‘Freddie Starr ate my hamster’, to garner interest for Starr’s up-coming tour. In 2009, he admitted advising two high-profile gay footballers to stay in the closet to save their careers.   When I asked if Clifford thought there had been any progress made in the standing of gay footballers in recent years he responded, “Sadly, no… I said 10 years ago that hopefully it would change, but in my mind it hasn’t. Hopefully the FA will one day start to do something about it as they promised they would a year or two ago.”

Clifford is now 68, and despite over 40 years in the industry, he shows no sign of retiring. While it would appear that the name of the game has not changed much over the course of his career, the internet has changed almost every aspect of public life: “There is so much out there which is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, the super-injuctions: in the last week or so there have been two or three people named as having taken out super-injuctions who haven’t. But actually the newspapers, magazines, television have far greater impact and influence in my opinion. I’ve had seven people coming out on Facebook pretending they’re Max Clifford who have nothing to do with me at all, but that couldn’t happen in a national newspaper.”

And yet despite this marathon of a career, it seems that Clifford has few regrets. “Have I made mistakes? Of course. I’ve had things I’ve been involved in and thought, ‘I would have done that differently’. Of course. But I love what I do and I’ve done it my own way. I’ve had far greater freedom than any journalist… by and large I’m happy with the years gone by.”

Ja-caring for the kids

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So, what do you get up to in your free time at Oxford?” Relatives ask me, probably imagining something along the lines of rowing on the Isis, fine dining at formal hall, singing in the chapel or playing croquet. Quaint, old-fashioned, undeniably Oxbridge things. Though I have to admit, I  do enjoy  some – ok, most – of these things, when I think back on last term, it’s taking a coachload of kids and students on a trip to the Roald Dahl Museum that first springs to mind. 

o, what do you get up to in your free time at Oxford?” Relatives ask me, probably imagining something along the lines of rowing on the Isis, fine dining at formal hall, singing in the chapel or playing croquet. Quaint, old-fashioned, undeniably Oxbridge things. Though I have to admit, I  do enjoy  some – ok, most – of these things, when I think back on last term, it’s taking a coachload of kids and students on a trip to the Roald Dahl Museum that first springs to mind. 
Not exactly sure what I’d expect while trawling   around Freshers’ Fair, I had somehow managed to get involved in organising events for Jacari, a student-run charity providing free after school home teaching for over 200 local children who don’t speak English as their first language and are falling behind at school. As a treat for both the kids and volunteers, whose help can make a huge difference to a child’s self-esteem and school performance, we put on events: bowling trips, trips to see the new Harry Potter film, or, in this case, something a little more educational. It’s my responsibility to make sure they all have a good time.
It can be a stressful role, as I quickly discovered when 25 excited kids piled on to the coach. I’d been slightly apprehensive about the journey, so had games of ‘travel bingo’, a CD of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and a few bags of sweets at hand. Perhaps these all  went down too well: the coach was filled with shrieks every time a yellow car or motorbike went past, and I was soon faced with constant demands for sweets from people who assured me that they were about to puke. When we finally arrived – I don’t think I quite understood before how many times it is possible to fit “Are we there yet?” into an hour long journey – I had my work cut out trying to stop the children from running around the museum. I caught one boy trying to lick chocolate from a remarkably realistic chocolate-bar door, and stopped another from walking off in what was supposedly Roald Dahl’s school uniform. By the time we got back to the coach I was as exhausted as they were.
Still, it was a great chance for those involved in Jacari to get together, and, judging from the grins on the kids’ faces as their teachers were forced to act out Dahl’s version of the Three Little Pigs, I think everyone enjoyed themselves. It was brilliant to see those who struggle so much at school completely throw themselves into a competition for the most imaginative ‘Story Ideas Book’, which all children are given on entrance to the museum. For the volunteers, it was a way to bond with their pupil outside their weekly lesson, as well as a perfect excuse to be a kid for the day – who wouldn’t enjoy writing a rude story in fridge magnets, or dressing up as Willy Wonka? 
But for me, best of all was listening to volunteers and kids share their experiences of Jacari. I met Jean, who had brought four pupils on the trip (most volunteers are allocated one or two but sometimes siblings get jealous!) and told me that every lesson since the ‘Mad Hatter party’, they’d nagged her about when the next event would be.  Another volunteer, Bekah, said that Jacari was “definitely the most interesting ‘outside’ thing” she’d done at Oxford so far. She raved about the chai tea and chapatis that greet her at her pupil Tahira’s house, and made me laugh by recalling a lesson in January when Tahira asked her politely whether she would like to come to her 7th birthday party on August 30th.  Zaza, who has been a Jacari volunteer since 2009, said that almost every week her pupils ask her if she has any children herself, and, refusing to accept she has none, insist that she brings them over next time for them to play with. She added, “I think Jacari is brilliant, it’s so nice for the children to have an older role model to look up to and the rewards of being a tutor are definitely worth it.” 
Jacari only asks its 175 volunteers, from both Oxford and Oxford Brookes Universities, to commit to one hour teaching each week, but many enjoy spending time with their pupil and family so much that they stay longer. Bekah had just come from making gingerbread with Tahira, and another volunteer warned me that he was running late for the trip because he’d been helping his pupil’s father fill in a form he’d had trouble understanding. For some of these families, many of whom are recent arrivals in the UK, having a native English speaker in the house – even if only for an hour or so – can be a real lifeline. 
Of course, the teaching part is crucial: the whole point of Jacari is to try to do something about the fact that educational achievement of pupils who speak English as an additional language is consistently lower than their peers at all ages. The fact that there are over 150 kids on the waiting list speaks for itself: families and teachers really do value that one hour a week. In the words of one local schoolteacher, “The support and guidance the students provide to our pupils is invaluable. Our learners thrive under their support and always, always make better progress in their subjects as a consequence.” 
But Jacari is about much more than just exam results. Families who are new to the area often tell us how much they appreciate simply having a friendly face to visit them each week. And the learning works both ways.  Adrianne, who taught the Kamala family for a year, recalled, “As well as English practice and schoolwork, I taught them a few words of French and they taught me some Somali; I checked their timetables and they showed me how to hold their new baby brother… being a Jacari tutor made me see the real people behind the ‘immigration’ headlines.” Adrianne, like many volunteers, became good friends with the whole family, and found it hard to say goodbye when she left Oxford last year. Some of the friendships formed are lifelong – one Jacari alumni even invited her pupil and family to her wedding.
As for me, I admit that sometimes while in the middle of an essay crisis I don’t especially feel like going to teach a sweet but very stubborn ten year old girl whose homework is often so full of spelling mistakes I don’t know where to start. But when I get there –  when her twelve-year-old sister presents me with a huge plate of onion bhajis and gives me even more to take home with me –  when I am asked to talk to her countless Pakistani relatives on Skype – when I finally get her to understand the point of a full stop – you can guarantee I’ll be smiling. I always leave in a much better mood than I was in an hour before.
The Oxford bubble can be fun, novel and exciting, but at times it is also stifling. Jacari is a chance to escape it for an hour or so and make a very real difference to the lives of families whose experience of Oxford is far from the stereotypes.

Not exactly sure what I’d expect while trawling   around Freshers’ Fair, I had somehow managed to get involved in organising events for Jacari, a student-run charity providing free after school home teaching for over 200 local children who don’t speak English as their first language and are falling behind at school. As a treat for both the kids and volunteers, whose help can make a huge difference to a child’s self-esteem and school performance, we put on events: bowling trips, trips to see the new Harry Potter film, or, in this case, something a little more educational. It’s my responsibility to make sure they all have a good time.

It can be a stressful role, as I quickly discovered when 25 excited kids piled on to the coach. I’d been slightly apprehensive about the journey, so had games of ‘travel bingo’, a CD of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and a few bags of sweets at hand. Perhaps these all  went down too well: the coach was filled with shrieks every time a yellow car or motorbike went past, and I was soon faced with constant demands for sweets from people who assured me that they were about to puke. When we finally arrived – I don’t think I quite understood before how many times it is possible to fit “Are we there yet?” into an hour long journey – I had my work cut out trying to stop the children from running around the museum. I caught one boy trying to lick chocolate from a remarkably realistic chocolate-bar door, and stopped another from walking off in what was supposedly Roald Dahl’s school uniform. By the time we got back to the coach I was as exhausted as they were.

Still, it was a great chance for those involved in Jacari to get together, and, judging from the grins on the kids’ faces as their teachers were forced to act out Dahl’s version of the Three Little Pigs, I think everyone enjoyed themselves. It was brilliant to see those who struggle so much at school completely throw themselves into a competition for the most imaginative ‘Story Ideas Book’, which all children are given on entrance to the museum. For the volunteers, it was a way to bond with their pupil outside their weekly lesson, as well as a perfect excuse to be a kid for the day – who wouldn’t enjoy writing a rude story in fridge magnets, or dressing up as Willy Wonka? 

But for me, best of all was listening to volunteers and kids share their experiences of Jacari. I met Jean, who had brought four pupils on the trip (most volunteers are allocated one or two but sometimes siblings get jealous!) and told me that every lesson since the ‘Mad Hatter party’, they’d nagged her about when the next event would be.  Another volunteer, Bekah, said that Jacari was “definitely the most interesting ‘outside’ thing” she’d done at Oxford so far. She raved about the chai tea and chapatis that greet her at her pupil Tahira’s house, and made me laugh by recalling a lesson in January when Tahira asked her politely whether she would like to come to her 7th birthday party on August 30th.  Zaza, who has been a Jacari volunteer since 2009, said that almost every week her pupils ask her if she has any children herself, and, refusing to accept she has none, insist that she brings them over next time for them to play with. She added, “I think Jacari is brilliant, it’s so nice for the children to have an older role model to look up to and the rewards of being a tutor are definitely worth it.” 

Jacari only asks its 175 volunteers, from both Oxford and Oxford Brookes Universities, to commit to one hour teaching each week, but many enjoy spending time with their pupil and family so much that they stay longer. Bekah had just come from making gingerbread with Tahira, and another volunteer warned me that he was running late for the trip because he’d been helping his pupil’s father fill in a form he’d had trouble understanding. For some of these families, many of whom are recent arrivals in the UK, having a native English speaker in the house – even if only for an hour or so – can be a real lifeline. 

Of course, the teaching part is crucial: the whole point of Jacari is to try to do something about the fact that educational achievement of pupils who speak English as an additional language is consistently lower than their peers at all ages. The fact that there are over 150 kids on the waiting list speaks for itself: families and teachers really do value that one hour a week. In the words of one local schoolteacher, “The support and guidance the students provide to our pupils is invaluable. Our learners thrive under their support and always, always make better progress in their subjects as a consequence.” 

But Jacari is about much more than just exam results. Families who are new to the area often tell us how much they appreciate simply having a friendly face to visit them each week. And the learning works both ways.  Adrianne, who taught the Kamala family for a year, recalled, “As well as English practice and schoolwork, I taught them a few words of French and they taught me some Somali; I checked their timetables and they showed me how to hold their new baby brother… being a Jacari tutor made me see the real people behind the ‘immigration’ headlines.” Adrianne, like many volunteers, became good friends with the whole family, and found it hard to say goodbye when she left Oxford last year. Some of the friendships formed are lifelong – one Jacari alumni even invited her pupil and family to her wedding. As for me, I admit that sometimes while in the middle of an essay crisis I don’t especially feel like going to teach a sweet but very stubborn ten year old girl whose homework is often so full of spelling mistakes I don’t know where to start. But when I get there –  when her twelve-year-old sister presents me with a huge plate of onion bhajis and gives me even more to take home with me –  when I am asked to talk to her countless Pakistani relatives on Skype – when I finally get her to understand the point of a full stop – you can guarantee I’ll be smiling. I always leave in a much better mood than I was in an hour before.

The Oxford bubble can be fun, novel and exciting, but at times it is also stifling. Jacari is a chance to escape it for an hour or so and make a very real difference to the lives of families whose experience of Oxford is far from the stereotypes.

A right repentant madam

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Not being an expert in minor playwrights of 17th Century England, I had never heard of Philip Massinger nor his comedy The City Madam. So it was with the giddy excitement of a theatre nerd seeing a rare production, mixed with a touch of apprehension, that I entered the Swan theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon. Had I done my research, I would have found that Massinger was a master satirist and social critic with a keen sense for the fun that can be had on the stage when exploring the English social system.

The City Madam follows the fortunes of the inappropriately-named Frugal family. Luke Frugal, destitute and penitent, has frittered away the family fortune, been imprisoned for his debts, and imposed himself on the charity of his brother and his family. Despite the title, Frugal is the enigmatic heart of this play and much of the production’s tension stems from the audience’s awareness that we are never quite sure what he will do next – a fact that Jo Stone-Fewings performance deliciously foregrounds, shifting mercurially under a restrained surface of Christian benevolence. Sir John Frugal, his brother, is the play’s moral compass and he devises a ruse to both unmask his brother and reform his extravagant wife, the City Madam of the title, and his daughters. In this play even the women are camp caricatures and Lady Frugal and her daughters do a wonderful job of maintaining the audience’s sympathies for three rather ugly characters. Meanwhile Christopher Godwin’s performance adds a dignity and intelligence to the play. The stillness that he brings to Sir John reminds us that there is a moral purpose to the action that whirls around him.

Massinger’s play is part-parable, part-pantomime. If you’re expecting the high-flown verse and delicacy of composition that you might find in Shakespeare, look elsewhere. Massinger’s style is robust, witty and satirical and Dominic Hill’s direction conjures a heady vivacity from the text. Indeed, the whole play has a riotous carnival feel to it. Suffused with exoticism, magic and – of all things – puppetry, which surprisingly delivers one of the most touching spectacles of the entire production, the play has a surrealism and immediacy that is vividly brought to life by the Royal Shakespeare Company.

The costuming is flawless as you would expect from the RSC – I particularly enjoyed the incongruous purple satin bows on Mr. Plenty’s attire, a lapse in taste that only a self-made man could make. Hill described The City Madam as participating in the same heightened reality as a Hogarth cartoon or a Dickens novel and it is a sentiment I can strongly agree with, all three delighting in the absurdity and extremity of human life. Yet the play’s thematic interest in the parvenu, old money and materialism adds a depth and intellectual resonance to the present day that manages to stimulate thinking whilst not spoiling the fun.

And with the free RSC Key scheme making it possible for students to see RSC productions for only £5, this is fun that won’t break the bank – and if Massinger is preaching anything it is surely that pleasure in moderation is the best pleasure of all.

Review: Smother

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When Wild Beasts gave us Limbo, Panto in 2008, its earnest theatricality immediately set the Kendal quartet apart from their indie rock contemporaries. Deploying the contrast of two vocalists (Hayden Thorpe’s coarse falsetto and Tom Fleming’s more standard register) and drawing from the vaudeville and the picaresque, Limbo, Panto described life (and sex) in the North-West with characteristically flamboyant panache. Thorpe crooned in ‘Woebegone Wanderers’: ‘Unstable stands a-flush with fans, pilfered piles and pints in wobbly hands,’ while whispering on ‘She Purred, while I Grrred’ that ‘her fruit was ripe, I bit, I’m nothing more than a humble mongrel, whipped cast, rash and unabashed.’ Follow-up Two Dancers upheld this lyrical ingenuity, but toned down the melodramatic excesses of its predecessor to great critical accolade, including a Mercury Prize nomination. But in so doing – to this reviewer at least – it showed signs of losing the singular aesthetic of the debut.

Smother, I fear, continues this trend. Wild Beasts’ fascinating exploration of fragile masculinity is still present, but the lyricism is far more conventional – no more depictions of the bar fights as ‘bovver boot ballets’. The record features cleaner production, and sparser instrumentation, but ultimately this allows for a far more atmospheric record, and leaves greater room for Thorpe’s still striking vocal ability. Smother is the product of a greater maturity, and the grooves, though darker, are often just as undeniable.

‘Lion’s Share’ couples Thorpe’s haunting voice with a sinister piano backing, while the masterful ‘Bed of Nails’ conveys a sense of unfulfilled lust with stalking bass and shuffling drums. In ‘Burning’, Fleming’s shaky, despairing vocals gradually sink into the mix until they are enveloped by a growing wall of sound. Whether or not one applauds the jettisoning of youthful extravagance for greater sobriety, Smother must be commended as another excellent release from the ever-impressive Wild Beasts.

Papa Loach… and son

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British cinema is a peculiar and unhealthy species of film that is considered by many to be lacking its own identity when it is not either an adaptation of 18th century literature or starring Hugh Grant as, well, himself. Ken Loach however goes against all of this: his films depict a vision that is not based on any romanticized notion of Britishness (Loach is one of the truly honoured few to have shunned the offer of an OBE out of distaste) but a realistic and working class vision that trailblazed the gritty kitchen sink drama. His most influential work is undoubtedly his made-for-TV film Cathy Come Home in 1966.

The film tells the harrowing story of Cathy, a mother in the 1960s who through the inflexibility of the embryonic British welfare system finds her family homeless after her husband’s redundancy. The complete dismantling of her family in the final scenes cuts through viewers like very few films can, leaving only the steeliest of Thatcherites dry-eyed.

Watched by one quarter of the British population at the time, the film highlighted the plight of the homeless in a way that had never been done before and led to the widespread establishment of the charity Shelter.

Formerly a law undergrad from St. Peters, Loach moved on to direct his first feature film, the critically acclaimed Kes (1969), which provides an equally bleak but insightful outlook on British working class life from the perspective of a young boy, challenging the audience not to look away.

Throughout his career, Loach has continued to depict the struggles of those who often do not have a voice, directing such recent hits as Sweet Sixteen (2002) and A Fond Kiss (2004). Loach himself has attracted controversy through his vocally anti-Israeli stance, his advocation of the Chechen Republic and his support of Julian Assange (founder of WikiLeaks) throughout his incarceration.

His new film Route Irish is being shown in the Ultimate Picture Palace in Cowley this month and looks at the lies told with regard to the Iraq War and the impact on the soldiers who fought there. Although not deviating from his formula of challenging unvoiced criticisms of the government and society through fictional accounts, the high octane action involved in this recent release has been criticised by many as a reflection of an unwanted big budget influence on his films.

Loach’s film has, however, proved to be a hit with critics and audiences alike, with the strength of his movies not being based in their budget (be it large or small) but in the way that Loach unflinchingly tackles controversial political topics. With Loach secured as one of Britain’s greatest directors of all time, the focus now turns to his son Jim, who makes his directorial film debut this year. His film Oranges and Sunshine deals with the covered up issue of British children in care that were sent permanently to Australia. Between 1947 and 1967 over 10,000 children were sent to live a life overseas of hard labour and abuse, with many of their parents being told that the children had been adopted into new families in the United Kingdom and the children being told that they were orphans. The influence of his father is strikingly clear – Oranges and Sunshine would comfortably fit as another addition to Ken’s long filmography.  

Jim denies he is just following his father into a career laid out for him; in his defence, Jim has worked his way up, even directing episodes of Coronation Street. There is a pattern however: Ken’s other child, Emma, makes frank and unflinching documentaries. With Jim’s new film receiving excellent reviews thus far and in late 2009 (once Oranges and Sunshine was already in production) both the British and Australian government apologised to the child migrants for the first time – the film is creating ripples for all the right reasons and firmly in its own right. Although I’m sure all of the Loaches would be repulsed at the idea of their name buying them a career – can the British film fan really complain?

Now in his seventies, who knows how many more films Ken is actually interested in directing. If his children have inherited his talent for film making (which all accounts suggest they have) then it is a fantastic opportunity that the legacy of this terrific filmmaker will continue to challenge our views and change our politics long into the future.

US First Lady to visit Oxford

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U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama is set to visit Oxford next Wednesday. She will come to Christ Church College to talk to girls from a North London comprehensive about going to university.

The White House yesterday announced that Mrs Obama would make her trip to the University as part of her continuing “commitment to engage young people around the world, support educational opportunity and promote youth mentoring”.

Christopher Lewis, Dean of Christ Church, sent an email to students informing them that Mrs Obama would be “at Christ Church during the afternoon to speak to some girls from a London school about their aspirations in general and their hopes for their university education in particular”.

Revd Lewis warned that the event would cause “disruption” and “restrictions on movement in the Tom Quad area”, but  urged students to see that it will be “of benefit” to the College and University as a whole.

The lucky 35 students all come from the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson School, a language college for girls in Islington. They will have a day-long university “immersion experience”, involving tours, career discussions and talks with Oxford students, before attending a question and answer session with Mrs Obama. The aim is to encourage the girls to pursue higher education.

One third-year English student at Christ Church, said, “I’m so excited about Michelle Obama’s visit to Christ Church, this has made my finals revision this week pale into insignificance!”

University of Oxford Vice-Chancellor, Professor Andrew Hamilton, said, “We look forward immensely to welcoming the First Lady to the University and to sharing with her and the EGA students something of what makes Oxford and the education it offers so special.

“We are determined to make that education available to the brightest students from all backgrounds, and our outreach programme comprises 1500 events every year, from days like this one to residential summer schools.

“A deep commitment to the transformative potential of education lies at the heart of Oxford’s mission as a world-leading place of learning.”

The First Lady will arrive with her husband in London on Tuesday for a three day trip which will also see the couple stay with the Queen in Buckingham Palace. Security has been stepped up for the event, amid fears of a retaliatory terrorist attack in the wake of Osama bin Laden’s 

Outrage over students ‘handpicked’ for chalet

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The revelation that holidays in a college-funded chalet are being used to reward “favourite students”, has sparked outrage among Balliol undergraduates.

Although the college funds the chalet at a cost of around £5000 a year, students are selected by college trustees, based on criteria that is unknown to the JCR, and there is no open application process. Up until a few months ago, this panel of trustees included the Dean.

A motion was passed this week by Balliol JCR which said, “The college should not be subsidising an Alpine chalet for the Dean and his favourite students.”

The motion called for access to the chalet should be opened up to all students ‘based on a system of random allocation of places (e.g. in groups of 1-4).”

One Balliol undergraduate expressed his opinion that, “The Dean basically picks his favourites, or, less provocatively, choir people and perhaps rowers”.

Balliol JCR President Stephen Dempsey told Cherwell, “Places are selected by the academic administrator in conjunction with particular tutors who make use of the chalet. They obviously choose the people they want to go on holiday with.”

During the Balliol JCR meeting on Sunday night, Chris Gross bought forward a motion that questioned the selection procedure for the chalet.
The motion was passed with an overwhelming majority.

Despite Balliol’s precarious financial situation, which earlier this year led to a proposed £500 blanket charge to all incoming students, JCR members were in general supportive of the college’s commitment to the chalet.

A student at Balliol present at the JCR meeting said, “We decided to support the college’s continued involvement with the chalet, as long as allocaton of places is done on a transparent, random basis.

“This is because it doesn’t cost much to subsidise and it could be a really nice institution to be proud of going forward”.

Dempsey described the motion as “fantastic”.

He added, “The passing of the motion is much more in keeping with the egalitarian principles that we have”.

When contacted by Cherwell, the Dean was unavailable to comment on the matter.

The 1909 Chalet des Anglais is situated in the French Alps opposite Mont Blanc. The chalet is administered by Balliol jointly with two other Oxford colleges, New and University.
Each summer the three colleges take turns in allowing parties of around 14 students to spend a week-long reading and walking holiday in the electricity-free chalet.

At New College, places are filled on a first come first served basis following an email sent out to all JCR and MCR members. University College has a similarly open selection method and any student can apply to go on the trip.

New College student Joey D’Urso who is going to the chalet this summer, said, “I think the chalet is an amazing opportunity and I’m really looking forward to it.

The University Press Office declined to make a statement, explaining that it was a matter for colleges rather than the University. The trustees of the chalet were not available for comment.

Review: The Rover

The Rover is set in the grandiose setting of New College gardens. As you enter the park you will instantly be surrounded by a carnival of beautiful roses, wisterias and daffodils – all there to welcome you to the world of The Rover. The play was written by author Aphra Behn, a dramatist born in 1640, famous for being the first professional female writer in England.  Virginia Woolf said of her: ‘All women together ought to let flowers fall upon the grave of Aphra Behn… for it was she who earned them the right to speak their minds.’

And her reputation is well-founded as the audience hears one of the actresses expounding on the subject of women’s rights within the play. The Rover follows the adventures of a group of English cavaliers; Belvile, Wilmore, Frederick and their female counterparts, sisters Florinda and Hellena. The plot centres on Florinda and Hellena’s decision to escape their brother’s wedding plans and come to Naples to experience real love.

Jack Powell, who plays Willmore the titular rover, is convincing as the dandy in the pursuit of pleasure. He has a great foil in Hellena, played by Eleanor Hardy, who deserves a mention for bringing such great energy to the stage. Of course, playing in an open stage entails some difficulties, the actors’ voices might not be heard equally well in the back rows, and the wonderful open space could arguably be used for more action. Nonetheless, the orchestra delights the audience with some well-chosen music and the large group of actors brings energy and thrust to what is quite a lengthy play.

So if you love all the ingredients that make a story entertaining; love, miss matches, sword fights, weddings – The Rover is your kind of play. And what better way to spend a quiet summer evening then witnessing the unravelling of love and desire? Just make sure you bring a scarf with you: the beauties of a Neapolitan carnival won’t protect you from the chills of an English evening.