Proposition – Agnes Arnold-Forster – Cherwell Editor

As someone who is completely physically incapable, watching sport is about watching people do things I can’t. I watch Hollyoaks and feel confident that my acting ability far surpasses that of Claire Cooper and Hollie-Jay Bowes (Michaela and Jacqui MacQueen). I watch The Weakest Link and convince myself that I would come home with the cash.

By its very nature, sport is competitive. People give up their precious time and money to revel in watching the best in the world performing feats we know to be beyond anything us mere mortals could achieve. This slightly loses its impact when watching women run relatively slowly and throw relatively badly.

Women’s sport just isn’t the same spectacle of human prowess.  We lack the strength, the testosterone, and intensity of our male counterparts.

There have been instances where so called ‘Battle of the Sexes’ matches have been contested, most notably in tennis (incidentally the major global sport where the men’s and women’s events are accorded equal status, although we shall leave the equal prize money in relation to playing time debate for now). In the late ‘90s, the Williams sisters claim that they could beat any man ranked outside the top 200 was put to the test by Karsten Braach, ranked 203 and most notable for his habit of smoking a cigarette or two during end changeovers. He dispatched them both, losing a mere three games in the process.

Women’s sport may be exciting, it may be entertaining, and you may occasionally catch a glimpse up Anna Kournikova’s skirt (obviously I’m joking) – but you’re always going to have that nagging feeling that you could be watching the men’s versions, where real limits of human ability are being tested. 

And then there is the very pressing concern of aesthetics. I like men, and I like men playing sport most of all. There are lots of beautiful women in the world: objectified in music videos, cheapened on the pages of magazines and unnecessarily sexualised in films. If you want to look at stunning blondes with stunning bodies, you do not need volleyball. Gender inequalities have left us heterosexual women with a limited number of sources for visual gratification. Sportsmen provide an unlimited supply of eye-candy.

Djokovic, Messi and Dan Carter are the world’s number ones. Women who win will always just be second best to their male counterparts – why do anything if you are not going to be number one (exactly the reason I engage in no physical activity)?

Oh, and the women’s World Cup definitely suffers from having no Beckham and his biceps. 

Opposition – Ellie Swinton – Cherwell sport deputy editor

In mid February of my first year at Oxford, I was in the college bar and one of the boys asked me why I wasn’t drinking. I said it was because Varsity lacrosse was less than two weeks away and our team had undergone a self-enforced drinking ban in the run-up to the game; a standard procedure which no one would even blink at for a men’s sport. 

I got the reply: “A whole two week drinking ban for women’s lacrosse? That is a joke!” I didn’t get angry, I’m used to it by now. Instead I quietly contented myself with the knowledge that this one boy at St Peter’s is increasingly in the minority, and that popularity of women’s sport is growing by the day. 

If there was once a time where women’s sports was not played to the same standard as men’s or when it was nowhere near as highly regarded, that is not the case today: times are changing, and very quickly at that.

Women’s sport at Oxford is in no way irrelevant. Atalanta’s Society was founded in 1992 and its growth in almost 20 years is astonishing. The club brings together Oxford’s leading sportswomen and promotes women’s sport both within and outside of the university. 

In some sports, for example lacrosse, the women’s game was established first, is arguably played at a higher standard and attracts far more supporters at the Varsity match against Cambridge.

The popularity of women’s sport worldwide is also growing everyday. Many people would rather watch the women’s side of the draw at Wimbledon over the men’s; let’s be honest, watching ace after ace frankly just gets boring after a while. 

With less and less net play these days, mixed doubles is arguably the most entertaining game. Women’s football is a more tactical, fun game to watch because of the slower pace and women’s gymnastics at the Olympics, a sport associated with flexibility and grace, has far higher viewer ratings.

Despite all this, there has always been a shockingly poor amount of media coverage for women’s sports. ESPN supposedly stands for Entertainment Sports Programming Network but they may as well have put an “M” for Men’s before the E. 

Besides, it doesn’t make sense that that the USA’s men’s soccer team are ranked around 15th in the world and receive nationwide support, yet the media overlooks the US women, the world’s number one team. 

Women’s sport is NOT irrelevant and if the media would just acknowledge this, popularity for the women’s game would increase exponentially; they have the support and high standard of play but are not given the coverage they deserve.

Football fans everywhere have been saying that this season’s Premier League has thus far been the best ever. Over the past decade however, in terms of excitement and sheer unpredictability, the Premier League hasn’t even been the best league in England. So what makes this year so different? There hasn’t been a huge glut in goals – at this point last year,only seven fewer goals had been scored. On the other hand, the number of high-scoring, high-profile games has been an exception, and  there are a number of reasons why.

People have lazily branded Chelsea manager Andre Vilas-Boas as the new Jose Mourinho, but tactically he couldn’t be more different. Under Vilas-Boas Chelsea press high all over the pitch, holding a high line to suffocate the opposition – something completely anathema to  Mourinho when he was at Chelsea. Such a high line was one of the main reasons they conceded five at home to Arsenal, where a slow, high defence came up against the pace of Theo Walcott and Gervinho., while even the unglamourous Grant Holt of Norwich caused them problems by often getting in behind the defence. While Chelsea epitomise this trend, Manchester United’s decision not to play a defensive midfielder sitting in front of the defence has also caused them to play higher up the pitch too.

A well-worn cliché used after the thrilling 1-0 victory for QPR over Chelsea several weeks ago was that it was “a brilliant advert for the Premier League”. If a complete lack of discipline on the one hand and a remarkable inability to keep possession on the other is what the League wanted to advertise then Chelsea and QPR respectively did a fairly good job, but what that game did emphasise is the higher number of red cards we have seen this season. The average number of red cards per game over the past five seasons has flirted around 0.15. This season, there have been just over 0.2 red cards a game – and in some of the biggest fixtures too. Liverpool conceded four against Spurs when they were down to nine men, while Manchester United played with ten men for 35 minutes against Manchester City. Both teams were chasing the game, and so inevitably the scoreline boomed.

Coincidentally, it so happens that the top teams in the league have morphed into more potent attacking units, while simultaneously becoming weaker defensively. Also, in the last five years the Premier League has lost managers Rafael Benitez and Jose Mourinho who both based of their approaches on conceding fewer goals than the opposition rather than scoring more. Manchester United’s acquisition of strikers and wingers over the last three years has led to a more open approach – they had conceded the most shots on goal in the league (97) after six weeks in, which is remarkable for the defending champions. Now that Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri have left Arsenal, their focal point of attack is striker Robin van Persie, so they naturally move the ball quicker up the field, resulting in chances being created more at speed for both teams. Roberto Mancini’s evolution of Manchester City is nearly complete, with this season seeing a more potent counter-attacking aspect to their team. All of this has resulted in an incredible 29 goals in the four matches between the Champions League clubs in the league.

People usually learn to ice skate when they’re very young. It could be with their parents, at a birthday party or with a boyfriend or girlfriend. But rather than go for one of those clichés, I thought why not learn how to ice-skate in roughly ten minutes and then use my newfound skill in a game of ice hockey? For some strange reason I spent a large proportion of the evening either falling over or flailing my arms about trying to prevent myself from falling over. Despite these minor setbacks however, it was a thoroughly good night.

ALTS is essentially a form of ice hockey designed for beginners who aren’t interested in the violence or competitive nature of the real thing. This means there is no need for the excessive protective gear because it is non contact (except for the keepers, who wear a face mask and gloves), the puck is a great deal lighter and you are not allowed to lift it off the ground. There was blatant disregard for this last rule however. Because attendances at sessions regularly exceed 150 people, the rink is split up into two or three 6-a-side matches that last three minutes each.

Apart from these small differences, the games are played like a normal game of ice hockey. This is very much a sport for beginners,but more skilled players use this as an excuse to turn up and show off their skills. This pretty much eliminated any contribution newcomers could have, but on the plus side it did provide the determination to keep plugging away and eventually take the experts down. 

To put it another way, I was bitterly jealous because I have never felt so helpless and stranded on a sports arena in my life. Furthermore my former background in hockey did not compensate for my ineptitude; rather, it was a hindrance. With the games as short, high-paced and frantic as they are it means that those who are less capable simply cannot keep up with the play and spend a lot of time on their arses.

Putting aside my personal grievances, by the end of the night I had started to get the hang of things and at that point it became much more enjoyable and I even manged touched the puck a couple of times whilst staying upright. This may sound like a small achievement, but to me, it was a huge moment.

Overall there was a very relaxed atmosphere and the scores of the games seemed completely irrelevant. This made a nice change, but for those who wish to develop their skills there have been Cuppers tournaments in the past two years. This is a great way to spend an evening and even though the sessions are at slightly awkward times, it breaks up the monotony of the weekly visits to Park End or Wahoo and brings out the child in you.

Sessions are 2330 – 0115 on Wednesdays and 2345 – 0100 on Fridays and I cannot recommend them enough.

On Wednesday afternoon, Christ Church Regatta – the climax of the Michaelmas boatie journey – began in earnest on the waters of the Isis. Christ Church regatta is unique in the Oxford rowing season as it is solely a competition for those new to the sport, pitting the as-yet untested racecraft of novice coxes with the muscle of novice rowers. Throw in thousands of pounds worth of rowing equipment and maybe a swan or two, and understandably, carnage ensues.

It really can be a recipe for disaster. As St Anne’s Boat Club Mens Captain Eddie Rolls informed me, “anything can happen”, and although head-to-head racing lacks the obvious crashing intention that bumps provides, this prediction proved remarkably accurate. Boats designed to be aerodynamic and elegant careered down the river like drunken spiders. Crabs were caught, hulls were scratched and pulses were raised as the next generation of college rowers battled their way through the first round, desperate to avoid the ignominy of the repechage.  

That said, in the wider context of novice Regattas Wednesday was a relatively tame affair. There was none of the tempestuous weather that has charged the atmosphere of previous years (when it hasn’t forced the whole thing to be postponed, curtailed or even called off). There was little carnage or the spilling of blood. I even caught the fine men and women of the St John’s Ambulance stifling their yawns.

Wind, rain and strong currents have prematurely ended three of the last four regattas, but clear skies and sunshine greeted the competitors and spectators on Wednesday. The 500m expanse of water looked like a sheet of glass, at least before the invasion of boat after boat of panicked oarsmen and women. The only other interruption to this halcyon scene were the intermittent cries of a motivational homeless man – complete with Tesco’s finest cider and a cigar – as he urged on helpless women’s boats to “work it”. This man single-handedly spurred on rowers more than any amount of expensive coaching could.

Christ Church regatta is the ultimate arena for the hundreds of novice rowers who have spent the last eight weeks training. All the sweat, lycra and incessant rowing chat comes down to the next few days. Unsurprisingly, therefore, the  dawning of Wednesday saw a hotly contested competition. Out of a total of sixty-two races, at least fifteen finished with a winning margin of less than a length between boats. 

Indeed, a photo finish was required to separate the likes of Keble WA and Exeter WA, who finished a matter of inches apart. At the other end of the spectrum, Hertford MA, Somerville MA and Trinity WA all looked to have strong crews, each victorious by two lengths or more. Although it is tricky to say at this early stage, New College’s fresher intake looks to have particular potential with all three of their mens crews finishing on top, with special mention to their MC who dispatched Oriel MA (traditionally the powerhouses of college rowing) by three lengths.

Despite being a smaller college, Lincoln also looked promising, with all four crews winning their races. Miranda Kent, Head of Lincoln Women’s Lower Boats, cited WA as ones to watch after their progress through to the semi finals of the Nepthys regatta last weekend.

A total of four klaxons over the day does hint at some instances of drama often associated with the rowing of novices. The first came after 20 minutes of racing when Univ MA prematurely landed on their own jetty, just ten meters into the 500 metre course. There were no fatalities.

An honourable mention must also go to the St Anne’s women’s crew who decided to take the blades out of their boat before climbing out themselves, thus resulting in a capsize with all of them on board. The capsize is an extremely rare event in rowing so congratulations are in order for the cold and bedraggled crew, who looked appropriately freezing.

All crews have a reason to look forward. For the first round losers the repechage and a shot at redemption beckons. Wednesday’s victors have earnt a days rest and can now dare to dream of progress deep into the competition.

Onlookers will also be interested to see which colleges appear to have a particularly strong crop, as a good intake of new rowers has a direct impact on future performance in the ongoing Isis dramas of Torpids and Summer Eights in Hilary and Trinity respectively, while those with no talent appearing will be looking forward with trepidation.

Be sure to cover yourself in college stash and bike down to the river this weekend. It promises to be dramatic and entertaining. The best thing about novice rowing is its unpredictability: Each boat is one crab away from despair, and races are often decided by the crew who makes the fewest mistakes, but this means the chance of glory is within reach of everyone. So come on down, enjoy the madness of both the rowing, and the inevitable after parties, where drinking bans will be broken and at least some people will make it to Escape. This is one of the most ‘Oxford’ of events, and it would be a shame to miss it.