Friday 3rd April 2026
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Ginvestigative journalism

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Woodstock is only a 20 minute bus ride away from central Oxford, but once you’re there you couldn’t feel further from the slightly horrible, sweaty bustle of the city in summer. The village, also home to Blenheim Palace, is slightly reminiscent of a Midsomer Murders set with its sleepy charm, abundance of pubs and suspicious-looking locals. Yet it was neither the scenery nor the prospect of being murdered by a vengeful vicar with a pitchfork that had brought me and my companion to the village: it was the gin.

Woodstock is home to The Feathers Hotel, which boasts a restaurant and bar specialising in gin. In fact, specialising is a bit of an understatement:  the Feathers bar stocks almost 100 different gins from all over the world, and eight tonics to boot. What’s more, the two of us had signed ourselves up for the ‘Gin Experience’, a five-course meal (although it turned out to be eight), where that finest of spirits features in every course. To someone who considers Gordon’s to be a decadent departure from Tesco’s own-brand, the prospect was rather overwhelming.

I can only apologise in advance for the number of puns one can make using the word gin. Ginteresting, gintense, ginspirational, gintimate – all of these go some way to describing the ‘Experience’. We were first offered quails eggs and pâté (the first unexpected surprise) while we hastily attempted to read the descriptions of the dozens of gins on the menu. Making an informed choice was inevitably impossible, so I opted for a gin beginning with ‘I’, and my companion went for the one with the longest blurb. The two resultant G&Ts were completely different to the taste, thus enabling us to copy our waiter by making a number of pretentious remarks to each other about “notes of juniper” and “rich botanicals”.

Things flowed smoothly on from there, with a slightly strange – but wonderfully rich – celeriac soup in an espresso cup proving another unexpected delight before the meal-proper began. I won’t spoil the surprise by revealing how the gin appeared in each of the courses that followed (mackerel, quail, crab, lamb, sorbet and lemon Bomb Alaska), but among its guises were jelly, a shot of Red Snapper and a flaming sauce in a silver saucepan. The food was delicious and the portions perfect – small enough that we never felt too full for the next one, but never quite that irritating ‘expensive restaurant’ kind of small. My personal favourite was the softshell crab, but the quail’s leg stuffed with black pudding came a very close second.

An added bonus was that, despite clearly being a Very Good and Expensive restaurant, the atmosphere of The Feathers was welcomingly unstuffy. Although we were obviously students, the maître’d was as attentive to us as he was to the very fat businessman on the next table, and once we began to feel the full effects of the gin we didn’t feel that we had to keep our laughter too quiet.

Sadly, the price of the Gin Experience might prove prohibitive for students: coming in at just under £200 (including a bottle of wine and service) the meal was very far from cheap. But for a very special occasion or as a birthday present for a big ginthusiast (my own reason for going), you really couldn’t ask for better. Gincredible.

Review: Snow Patrol – Called Out In The Dark

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Snow Patrol aren’t just any old indie rock band. With hits like Chasing Cars, Run, Open Your Eyes and Signal Fire under their belt already, it’s not surprising that we’ve come to expect nothing short of excellence from the Bangor rock group.

Snow Patrol have been lying low since A Hundred Million Suns was released back in 2008. But now their return is imminent. Called Out In The Dark will be the first comeback single to be released this September from their much anticipated sixth studio album, Fallen Empires. What will the boys unleash this time around? Snow Patrol have suggested that a change of direction away from the group’s rock foundations may be in store for us, taking this new album to exciting unknown waters. The Northern Irish band have been working with Grammy award winning music producer Garret ‘Jacknife’ Lee in Los Angeles to bring a new dimension to their already wide repertoire.

The forthcoming single is a delightful, electronica infused, powerful gem of a song. Beginning with an underlying, steady acoustic guitar riff that runs relentlessly throughout this track, quickly followed by a dancelike drumbeat which boldly kicks in alongside Gary Lightbody’s distinct vocals declaring, ‘it’s like we just can’t help ourselves cause we don’t know how to back down.’ The song builds momentum and reaches a climax with a striking, textured, electronic heavy chorus, ‘we are listening and we are not blind, this is your life, this is your time.’ Lyrically, it’s rather poetic at times: ‘how the heavens, they opened up like arms of dazzling gold, with our rain washed histories, well they do not need to be told.’ The song aptly ends with the repeating, hypnotic guitar riff and its accompanying drum riff. On a happy note, we are left with the notion of hope and ‘magic’, despite adversity, despite all odds, despite the ‘dark.’

Snow Patrol have delivered again and again, and this taster track has certainly whetted my appetite. Such an unveiling promises more goods to come. ‘We are listening.’ 

Review: The Horrors – Skying

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Here’s a thesis: The Horrors have been writing pop songs since they formed, but until now they’ve been doing it so subversively that no-one’s really noticed. Skying changes all that, with a new taste for soaring choruses and anthemic key changes, and a developed enthusiasm for pure melody. At its best, the band’s third album showcases some maturing songcraft. Lead single ‘Still Life’ and the baggy, psychedelic opener ‘Changing the Rain’ have an assured unity to them, as if they’ve emerged fully formed from the Dalston basement where the band wrote, rehearsed, and recorded the album.

In particular, krautgaze juggernaut ‘Moving Further Away’ – a worthy heir to 2009’s ‘Sea Within a Sea’ – rewards repeated listening as swooning noise-rock guitar darts around Tom Cowan’s synthesizers; Faris Badwan’s spectral vocals unite the disparate strands (even the sampled seagull noises make a weird kind of sense) until the whole thing accelerates into a kind of shuddering ecstasy. ‘I Can See Through You’ is smaller, stranger, and comes with a strangely vintage feel, as if Joe Meek had survived to mess around with analogue synths and phasers in the ’80s.

Most satisfyingly, though, The Horrors seem to have finally and fully transcended the ‘record collection rock’ tag that they’ve previously attracted. While previous albums Strange House and Primary Colours were decidedly more than the sum of their parts, those parts were fairly easy to pick out. On Skying, the sheer density of sounds and influences refracted, inverted, and indeed invented mean that it comes much closer to a unified and unique whole.

The greatest achievement of Skying is this unity, the creation and establishment over the course of the album of a swirling, dreamlike sonic world. Subversive elements flicker around the edges of what might otherwise be straight-up pop songs: unsettling, clattering synths meet guitars played backwards, colliding into each other and distorted beyond recognition. Some songs unexpectedly change direction: ‘Endless Blue’ floats like Neu! playing bossa nova for a minute and a half, and then erupts into a snarling interplay between Josh Hayward’s distorted guitar (taking cues from Sonic Youth) and Cowan’s chilly synth lines; while ‘Monica Gems’ pulses between jagged riffing and fluid shoegaze-pop – some near-inaudible backing vocals and trumpet fanfares make it sound like it’s being haunted by the ghost of Sergeant Pepper.

This shifting but cohesive musical atmosphere is the album’s major strength, but it also leads – paradox alert – to one of its weaknesses. Several tracks on the album are weaker than they should be, seeming like mere vehicles for sonic experimentation and falling short of the consummate wholeness achieved elsewhere. Badwan’s vocals are  cryptic, allusive, symbolic; the cynical might say vague, but they’re delivered with subtlety, burning and expanding slowly into the band’s organic sounds. On ‘Wild Eyed’ and ‘Dive In’, and particularly the first five touching but aimless minutes of ‘Oceans Burning’, there’s lots to enjoy but little to remember.

That’s not to say that any of Skying’s tracks are actually bad, just that they fade slightly into the background compared to the more developed material on display. Nonetheless Skying is an immersive and fascinating experience from beginning to end, working – like the best albums – as a coherent whole with several stand-out tracks. It’s certainly a unique sonic artefact, and once The Horrors have written a few more songs as good as the best ones here, they’ll have both the complexity and the tunes to be unstoppable next time around.

Oxford develops insect spy machines

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Researchers from Oxford’s Department of Zoology have developed insect-sized aerial machines designed to revolutionise surveillance work.

With wings closely modelled on those of real insects and the incorporation of micro-cameras, the machines are suitable for surveillance operations considered too dangerous for people to carry out as well as more covert operations. 

Dr Richard Bomphrey, leader of the research, said that he aimed to ‘‘explore how human made vehicles could transcend the constraints imposed by nature.” His research has focussed on the evolution of insect wings over the last 350 million years.

Currently the smallest unmanned surveillance device is around a foot wide.The new technology is likely to be used by the defence industry within three to five years, and may be widely deployed within 20 years.

NATO, the US Air Force and the European Office of Aerospace Research and Development have all expressed interest. The machines could be used for a variety of tasks from entering a hostile area or exploring the effects of a chemical spill to enhancing TV coverage of sports events.

Review: Two Gallants at Hoxton Bar

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After a two year hiatus, involving two separate solo albums, a bike accident, and a career-threatening car crash, there was certainly a feeling amongst the packed crowd at Hoxton Bar that we were lucky to be witnessing Two Gallants’ return to the road. Tonight’s gig was the second consecutive sold-out night at the venue, and its intimate setting enhanced this atmosphere of expectation, which was not to be disappointed.

Two Gallants are a two-piece made up of childhood friends Adam Stephens (vocals/guitar/harmonica) and Tyson Vogel (drums/vocals), who play an original, punk- tinged blend of blues and folk. The first thing that hit me when they started playing is just how much noise it is possible for two men and their instruments to make. The second thing was quite how brilliant they are at playing them, with Stephens’ intricate finger picking weaving perfectly around Vogel’s powerful, almost melodic, drumming. It really isn’t surprising to find out that these two have been playing music together since the age of twelve.

The set included songs from all four of their releases, as well as plenty of new material, which went down almost as well as old favourites, something not many bands pull off.  The intensity and emotion powering the whole gig suited the lyrics of many of their songs, which range from tales of heartbreak to narratives about murder and slavery. Whether playing louder numbers such as ‘Las Cruces Jail’ or sharing the microphone for the new, acoustic ‘Broken Eyes’, both were clearly putting everything they had into their performance, demonstrated both by the amount of sweat pouring off them and the way Vogel occasionally collapsed over his drums at the end of a song. The passion and honesty displayed in the performance led to slightly awkward silences as the crowd waited for Stephens to retune his guitar in between songs, but idle chit-chat might have felt anticlimactic in these moments.  Instead, I happily settled for watching a strange love-triangle developing in the second row.

Two Gallants are a band I’d wanted to see for years, and as they finished with a drum-less rendition of ‘Seems Like Home to Me’, my only complaint was that it had to end so soon (but not as early as it did for the jilted boyfriend in the second row, who’d already stormed off). If you don’t know this band, take a punt on iTunes or YouTube, but if you ever get the chance, go and see them perform, where the songs can really come to life.

Emma Watson confirms Oxford rumours

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Emma Watson has confirmed that she will spend the next academic year at Oxford.  She will return to Brown for the fourth and final year of her degree.

The 21 year old has accepted an offer from Worcester College, which she will use to gain credits towards her English Literature major at the Ivy League institution. Brown requires students to complete just four semesters in residence, leaving Watson free to study some of the required 30 courses here.

In response to speculation that she had abandoned her Brown course, Watson gave an interview to ‘The Virginia Pilot,’ stating, “I’m still a student at Brown. It’s just that I’ll spend my third year abroad — at Oxford. Then I’ll return to complete my last year.” This is a relatively common practice for American students, with Worcester alone accepting 15 visiting students each academic year.

The actress will have full access to University resources, including the Bodleian libraries, but it is unclear if she will attend lectures.

A Worcester official refused to comment on the nature of her course. An inside source stated that her fame had not been considered when she was offered a place, and it had been solely a matter of previous academic achievement.

Watson will be a full member of Worcester JCR and has been assigned College Parents.

The gospel according to Joseph

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In a 1993 flight of fancy by Half Man Half Biscuit, singer Nigel Blackwell described the ‘silly visions’ in his mind brought on by a ‘rare disease’:

Gazza in a Mozza mask, goofing by the pool

Eating all the Caramacs, ‘Howay, Cemetry Gates!’

– Half Man Half Biscuit, ‘Numanoid Hang-Glide’, This Leaden Pall (1993)

Ridiculous as it no doubt sounded all those years ago, too busy with your Sega Mega Drive and your Saved by the Bell to pay attention to the ramblings of an obscure Merseyside band’s fourth album, this summer you might have been forgiven for thinking that Nigel’s messianic prophecy had been fulfilled.

The Messiah in question, possessing the violence, racism and midfield dynamism of Paul Gasgoine, Morrissey and the Baby Jesus combined, being Joseph Anthony “Joey” Barton, Newcastle United captain and uncontested bad-boy of the Premier League. And his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). For while one Toon hero is these days content to spend his retirement alcoholically assisting serial killers, another has put on his Mozza mask, and is quickly making himself known as the lord and saviour of English football, popular music, and indeed the world.

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Name-checking indie bands on Twitter, and waving daffodils for Esquire, Joey Barton has fast been making a name for himself as the Morrissey of professional football. On the 28th of May, he declared ‘“There is a light that never goes out………The Smiths! Best song ever written. Thanks marr / mozza for getting me through that drive…’ Every day we find Joey, or perhaps he would prefer ‘Barton’, becoming more and more like his uninomially-nomenclatured hero, a playful poetic Northern pessimism clouding even the sunniest tweet: ‘Sun is shining, with good people, have great friends. What a day to be alive……..’ Then later the same afternoon: ‘Its too hot……….’ (Joey7Barton, 1 June, 2011):

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour,

But heaven knows I’m miserable now.

– Morrissey, The Smiths, ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’, Hatful of Hollow (1984)

The similarity strikes you like assault occasioning actual bodily harm on a teammate.

But was this twice convicted Sweet and Tender Hooligan trying to express something more than a fan’s admiration for another Smiths classic when he went on to tweet:

The Smiths ‘Still Ill’ just gets better with every listen. Morrissey = God………

– Joey7Barton, (28 May, 2011)

Could it be that Barton was not just a Morrissey fan, admirer or imitator, but in fact the Incarnation of our Lord, immaculately conceived of the celibate pop-star, to save us all in this time of great need? Was it possible that Barton’s Twitter account was indeed the new gospel for our times? Could we be United by a Newcastle Testament?

As thousands of pilgrims flocked to Glastonbury in June, everything seemed to fall into place. After his describing a mysterious phone-call, the best of his life, ‘from Morrissey’s personal security man asking if I would like to meet the great man’, a photo surfaced of Barton at the right hand of Moz; a perfect nativity scene complete with Mary(ssey) & Joseph, the holy parents, perhaps, of a new creed for our troubled times:

Sun is burning my legs but its all good in the hood………

– Joey7Barton (7 June, 2011)

With the blessing of His Mozjesty, and sporting a jet-black quiff in pre-season, Joey has shown himself truly to be the Son and the Hair, criminally vulgar though he may appear, to this music God’s kingdom: not just a scorer of goals, but a curer of souls. So remember kids:

Play sports, stay in school, don’t take drugs.

– Joey7Barton, (28 May, 2011)

And yea though the Sun may burn your legs, it shall all be good in the hood.

The woes of work wear

Work experience is usually a whole lot of nothing, but it is one of the first opportunities to test your mettle in the adult world. If the prospect of swapping playsuits for work suits terrifies, read on.

Don’t believe the equal opportunities manifesto. What you look like matters – why else would there be a dress code? First impressions count, and decent clothing will a) make you feel sexy and b) make everyone else think you’re professional.

A word to the wise, however. It turns out that when it comes to sophisticated workwear, less is more. Not skinwise – keep skirts knee length, because they’ll actually be thigh high when you’re sitting in an office chair all day anyway. This season’s re-invention of the midi is a blessing, but avoid patterns unless you want to remind new colleagues of Peggy from Mad Men. Ever notice how the higher she rose through the ranks, the better she dressed?

Keep it simple, not skimpy. It may be summer, but chances are your City building will be frostily air conditioned. Uncluttered necklines (if your hair is long enough to interfere with a collar, put it up) are a must.

High heels are one of the evils of patriarchy. I succumbed by buying new wedgy contraptions (they scared me less than towering stilettos) but soon found out that whatever the heel, it’s still hard to keep up with the walking pace of any man in the vicinity. My instep was screaming by 9.30am Monday – suffice to say Tuesday saw their swift replacement with gladiator sandals. Note I said sandals, not pumps.

Don’t even get me started on the trouser suit. Yes, we can equal men in the work place, but it doesn’t mean we have to dress like them. Suits on women? They’re not supposed to work: they’re supposed to make you look like your mum. Avoid at all costs.

Take advantage of the fact that you don’t actually have to adhere to dress codes just yet by wearing colours; bright blouses are perfect smart casual. Nothing says consummate adult woman like sleek, shiny silk – if you can afford it, Paul Smith, and if not, 50% nylon from River Island or Topshop.

If you really, really must do sexy intern, then go for the classic: white blouse, black bra. Preferably sleeveless and with a pussy bow.

Forget the networking, CV points and genuine work experience – one of the most important things you’ll learn from a summer internship is that business attire is not designed for young women. Toeing the line between clothes which suddenly make you age 20 years and clothes which make you look like you’re trying too hard is a job in itself. Good luck.

 

Beth McKernan

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Women are not supposed to be sexy in the work place. This is not what we want our success to be based on. I’m sure you worked very hard, or at least called into play some very impressive Friends in High Places, to get this internship. That being said, I am a choice feminist. And it is my choice to look damn good every damn day.

Fashion does not have to be neglected just because you’re filing. Every major Spring/Summer 2011 trend can be channelled – breasts out or breasts bound, it is entirely possible to put your best fashion foot forward and prepare yourself, mentally and physically, for the working day ahead. For me at least, dressing is the beginning of a psychological journey. One that starts, absolutely petrified – doing a lap of the Circle line rather than getting off and trying to find your office – and ends, pencil skirted – a Real Life Adult.

Summer is all about the colour. All our favourite fashion houses embraced bright hues, from Aquilano.Rimondi to Jil Sander. Professionalism comes from the cut. Straight lines, boxy frames. Avoid frills. They’re distracting, and frankly irritating. This is a trend that requires a bit of drama. Coral ballet flats to act as your ‘colour POP!’ (single most irritating phrase in fashion journalism) is more New! magazine than Numéro. Pink pleated maxi skirt and a crisp white button down shirt. And this way you don’t need to wear heels.

The thing about fashion is that it has a way of fixating, acquiring a bizarre tunnel vision, focusing on one item, in one particular style. This season its objet d’art is the ‘midi’, an affectionate pet name for a skirt that falls just below the knee. You have some leverage here: fit ‘n’ flare, or tight. Fashion is, of course, all about freedom of expression… It is though, perfect for this internship of yours. It shows you are Serious, Conscientious and even Punctual (clothes say so much about a person you see).

And then there’s the trouser suit. The dreaded trouser suit. Polyester from Primark looks horrible on everyone. Honestly, it isn’t just you. Polyester from M&S is also not going to look great. Silk is the Holy Grail. If you’re really made of money go for Derek Lam or 3.1 Phillip Lim – your bum will be forever grateful. Alternatively, stick with Zara. Sleek European women began their relationships with tailored trousers in utero, they know how to do it best.

That all being said. My particular internship has been in one hundred degree heat New York City.

I’m just sweating my way through sack dresses.

 

 Agnes Arnold-Forster

Review: Autre Ne Veut – Body EP

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“Never judge a book by its cover.” I’m sure you’ve all heard this phrase countless times and, to some extent, agree with its simple sentiment of searching for true identity behind an outward appearance. However, as New York based avant-R&B artist Autre Ne Veut’s latest EP proves, there are exceptions to every rule. The moist folds of pink flesh adorning Body’s front cover are a perfect embodiment of the music contained within, and any listeners struck by the vulgarity of the photo are likely to react with a similar level of repulsion when listening to this EP.

Opening with a lone undulating synth line, lead single ‘Sweetheart’ starts Body off on a particularly queasy note. Cluttered with cheap sounding keys and an oppressively rasping beat, the song submerges its catchy vocal melody beneath such layers of sticky sleaze that it almost fails to register at all. Sadly, the rest of Body follows suit. With the production throughout this EP, just as on the album artwork, Autre Ne Veut appears to be aiming for an ice-cool seductiveness but instead finds himself falling into crass excess.

What is most disappointing about this record, even for those attracted to the production style, is that Body is completely lacking in substance beneath its surface. Autre Ne Veut’s songwriting throughout the EP is formulaic at best and, at times, downright lazy; that ‘Not The One’ passes by in little over two minutes is no bad thing: its grating pitch shifted vocals refusing to develop at all throughout the song. Any personality that might exist in Autre Ne Veut’s songwriting has been suppressed by his obsession with maintaining his ultra-hip facade, ultimately leaving his music hollow. Released on the much buzzed about Hippos In Tanks label, Body will undoubtedly appeal to the label’s hoards of obsessive followers, but for the rest of us this EP is so devoid of heart, so slathered in sleaze that it is unlikely to connect during its brief twelve minute runtime. 

Review: Theophilus London – Timez Are Weird These Days

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Brooklyn pop-rapper Theophilus London made a noticeable splash in recent months with his sugary, stylised hip hop, especially as featured in February’s breakthrough debut EP, Lover’s Holiday. A somewhat overly-laid-back flow aside, the production was lush, spacious, and effortlessly catchy, combining a keen pop sensibility with elements of more conventional hip hop, à la early LL Cool J. The attractive mix was typified by his pulsating, seductive collaboration with Solange Knowles, ‘Flying Overseas’, fleshed out with copious bass, a tense high hat shuffle, and sung hooks courtesy of both artists.

Lover’s Holiday and its associated singles rightly generated a large dose of hype for Timez Are Weird These Days, London’s first full-length effort. The essentials of the formula remain the same, but London missteps somewhat, borrowing not only the candied synths of radio pop but also its vacuous lyricism. The quintessential cocksure tropes of brazen hip hop are all here – girls, money, cars – but sound even emptier when boiled down into simplistic pop hooks. We are subjected to a full twelve lines of “Last name London, the first name Theophilus, Theophilus, Theophilus” in ‘Last Name London’: that’s thirty-six Theophiluses. He continues to repeat the obvious on ‘Love is Real’, itself complete with auto-tune and an absurdly melodramatic bridge: “Try to make the most of this. Don’t throw it all away. She had to change her number twice, and no time to count the days.” Oh dear.

Ultimately, the best material on Timez is lifted from the EP: ‘Flying Overseas’ regrettably doesn’t appear, but Timez does include the well-crafted ‘Why Even Try’ (an excellent example of London’s casual flow at its best), and the glitch-hop single ‘Girls Girls $’, which successfully (and hilariously) reduces hip hop’s chief obsessions to mere shouted slogans. Those not blessed with as much imagined cash as London, then, might do well to avoid the filler of Timez, and opt instead for this year’s far sleeker Lover’s Holiday EP.