Friday, April 25, 2025
Blog Page 1919

The week that was: The Browne Review

0

What happened

Oh, you know the drill. Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy becomes Principal of Brasenose. Boy and girl use College expenses money in what, it is alleged, were unauthorised expenditures. It’s an expenses scandal of the classic kind. Principal Roger Cashmore and his wife went to Greece, North America and Pakistan. All the while, the story goes, they were charging BNC fee-payers for upgraded Business Class travel. In one case, according to a Brasenose report, ‘authorisation was expressly denied but the trip went ahead regardless’. Cashmore obviously denies this. He claims that he was not not granted authorisation, if you get my drift. This wily donnish manouevring didn’t work: the governors of Brasenose appear to have sacked Prof. Cashmore in an attempt to restore their credibility. That’s not the line. The line is he’s gone on research leave. It’s research leave which involves taking up two salaried positions, but they don’t want me to tell you that.

What the papers said

Many of the papers focussed on Lib Dem confusion, largely because they hate the Lib Dems. But the general Fleet Street consensus is to raise tuition fees to unlimited levels. The FT thought Browne was brilliant. The Telegraph thought it was brilliant. The Times was a little bit sceptical but, of course, ‘there is no better option on offer’. Even the Guardian and Independent are basically in favour. Remarkably, the Daily Mail is the most opposed- though only because ‘yet again, the middle classes will suffer’. Thoughtful.

What now?

You can splutter with rage all you like, but it’s unlikely to make a difference. If Labour and a solid chunk of Lib Dems vote against- neither a certainty- then the bill can be defeated. But Lib Dems in government are bound to back it, and that might be enough, regardless of what the backbenchers do. But your little brothers and sisters are likely to have to pay through the nose for an education. Arts degrees will be restricted to elite institutions. The humanities may face a serious possibility of destruction. And all the while, many universities will be privatised (the other place is already considering it). It will be pretty dire, and likely undo most of the good access work done by many JCRs and institutions. Of course, there is another problem that lies earlier on, in low-quality schooling and children being brought up in poverty. Butwhile Browne may be symptomatic of a deeper problem in our society, it’s worth standing up against its regressive implications for education.

I was Miliband’s dogsbody

0

It has been said that politics is sex for ugly people or high-functioning sociopaths. On an unrelated note, I volunteered for the Ed Miliband leadership campaign, originally out of curiosity and because two of my friends were doing it. I found myself becoming a passionate supporter of Miliband and someone with great hopes for Labour and all politics, if only every party can tap into the energy and optimism of the student voter.

And this was a campaign, to quote one of the handmade banners, ‘Powered by People’, with ‘Ed’ surrounded by pink paper hearts – to which, various unkind middle aged people said things along the lines of “Remember 1997” and “You’re young, but as you age and wither you’ll become a cold, pessimistic husk.” But those people are over 30 and comment on newspaper websites, so they can be safely ignored. The people behind the Miliband campaign were a mixed bunch, with the volunteer HQ commanded by two redoubtable and supremely able young women, and staffed by a rotating band of even younger volunteers; some just getting A-level results, some just finishing PhDs, some students like us; people of all ages, from young teenagers to Pakistani businessmen to Australian Labor expats. It really was inspiring.

While there was the data entry, and the calling around to shark up audiences for Q&A sessions, the best part of the process was the phone banking. Every time, there would be so many of us that some of us would need to use our own mobiles. We would phone people, Voter ID them, try and convince them, try and wrangle out a second preference, or simply get ranted at. The rants could be the most fun, as many Labour members seem to be retired men with strong opinions – “What’s he going to do about what Thatcher did to the Unions?” or very patient elderly women who would take in the whole pitch and promise you that it hadn’t made any of difference to their opinion and that “they’d read the literature”. I never spoke to anyone who was abusive or unkind– and, if someone calls you and asks “Can I ask how you’ll be voting?” and you say “Yes,” and there’s a silence, and the person asks “So, how are you voting?” it isn’t funny to say “I said you could ask!” Seriously, do you honestly think you’re the first human being to come up with that? But every now and then you would get a firm Ed supporter, or an Andy, Diane or Balls-ite who happily engaged in discussion and promised a second preference. Less often, but most rewarding, were those who didn’t know and who had lost faith in Labour, who would finish the call with a promise to vote Ed and bit more cheerful as well. “I still don’t know,” one woman told me, “But it’s wonderful to hear all you young people are getting involved. You’ve given me a bit more hope in the party.” One word, though, to those who decide to campaign in this way: don’t make ironic and hyperbolic jokes about political parties to people who actually work for them. And make sure you grab several slices of pizza, because collectivism is suspended when eighty hungry social democrats are faced with free Dominos.

Zephaniah: rasta against the machine

0

For a guy who spent his teens in and out of ‘approved school’ and prison, Benjamin Zephaniah is almost absurdly respectable these days. The Brummie born 50-year-old rastafarian is now one of Britain’s most prolific black poets, writers and social commentators. In fact, Dr Zephaniah – which his 13 honorary doctorates entitle him to – would be an ideal candidate for Mayor of London. So, why doesn’t he get into politics?

Talking to me from his London office, he laughs at the suggestion. “People always ask me that,” he says. “The problem is: that’s not what I’m about. This may sound a bit wishy washy, but I want to bring the political, the spiritual and the emotional together.” For Zephaniah, poetry is his politics; and more importantly he thinks mainstream government is “bullshit”.

His favourite poem, he tells me, is by Adrian Mitchell and reads, “People ignore most poetry, because most poetry ignores most people.” We could substitute poetry for politics, he explains. “Politics does ignore people. Politicians talk down to you for four years and then come the election they want to be your friend.” He points out that Brown’s ‘bigoted women’ gaffe in Rochdale just goes to show how little the parliamentarian big shots actually care.

“My kind of involvement in politics – demonstrating, standing up and demanding something to be done – people often call being a militant. But we can’t just be political how and when politicians want us to be.”
Zephaniah doesn’t just pay lip service to this ‘fight the machine’ attitude. His actions often speak louder than his words. Refusing an OBE from the Queen in 2003, for instance, was one proverbial bitch-slap of the ruling powers that’s hard to forget. He, of course, objected to the word “Empire” which he associated with slavery and reminded him of “how my foremothers were raped and my forefathers brutalised.” In his poem “Bought and Sold” he was equally disdainful of the poet laureateship: “Don’t take my word, go check the verse / Cause every laureate gets worse.”

He hasn’t halted his protest against the status-quo at the shores of Britain either. In fact he’s just come back from a tour of Kenya. “I’m big there,” he says. He also played a leading role in the anti-apartheid movement in the 80s. “The most moving experience of my involvement was when I met three South African boys that had been arrested for hiring a helicopter and literally just throwing my words and my poems about freeing South Africa out of it. I was completely blown away because it was these middleclass young white kids; I thought it was done by some hardline ANCers; I’ve done poetry all my life and I haven’t done a prison sentence for it.”

But where does he think ‘free’ South Africa stands now? Zephaniah pauses at this, and then concedes, “It’s got some of the highest crime rates in the world; the country has some really deep problems and sometimes people don’t like to talk about it because Nelson Mandela is a hero and they want to see the bright side after everything.” But he explains that things just haven’t worked out: “When the ANC boycotted the government, they told people not to pay tax and most of them did. Now the ANC are in power, most of the people don’t want to pay tax. Many are saying we may have a black government, but we still don’t have electricity and water.”

Zephaniah recalls a “really sad” personal experience that drove home South Africa’s present grim situation. “It was the middle of the night in Durban and I heard a woman being raped. I was on the 8th floor and I could hear her screaming. I went down to the lobby and asked what they were going to do. They told me that if we call the police the men outside would try and get us later in revenge, and if we went out there to do something they’d kill us anyway.”

Despite the problems, Zephaniah thinks that at least racism is no longer a basis for politics in South Africa. But back on home turf he feels such discrimination is still at large. “When you get people like Trevor Phillips, equality chief, saying racism in Britain is over and people are still saying they’re being attacked in their mosques, there’s a real disconnect. Not far from where I live the BNP got into power for a while and there was no massive outcry. I thought it was all over, but it just isn’t. “

Zephaniah remembers a situation only a few weeks ago at a roundabout in London where an “Asian kid with a Muslim name” was getting searched by police. “I stopped after going round three times to see what was going on. They said they were stopping him under the Terrorism Act, and the kid half laughed and said, ‘Hey man, do I look like a terrorist?’ And the police officer went up close to him and half whispered in this ear, ‘I don’t care what you look like, but you smell like one.’ And the kid almost burst into tears. After all that I’ve known and been through, I thought I’d never see that again. But it still happens. You just don’t hear about it in the media.”

The lack of media coverage of issues like racism aggrivates Zephaniah. “On three occasions as lately, I’ve had disagreements with the BBC. They’ve approached me to do programs about politics, and every time I’ve said, I don’t want to go on and talk about the differences between the Milibands and whether Blairism is still alive. I want to go talk about things that really matter to people: the anti-war movement, the environment, and racism. But they don’t want to know!”But surely it’s a bit of a cycle where the BBC panders to what their audiences want? Zephaniah agrees, but adds, “I think if you broadened it out, you’d be surprised about the interest and difference it would make to how involved people are with important issues.”
I flag up his poem ‘Rong Radio’ which explores the media’s influence on how we think. He tells me it’s inspired by a Muslim woman who told him she had been listening to the radio while looking in the mirror and began to have a long hard stare at herself, and thought, “maybe I’m not innocent; maybe they’re right; maybe I am a terrorist and I don’t know it.” “That’s the power of the media,” he emphaises. “The can say something that’s not true, but if they say it long enough, people start believing it.”

“I am sick and tired of seeing people on TV and radio claiming to represent me or people like me.” For Benjamin Zephaniah it has always been about just speaking for yourself. “At the end of my poetry readings, even if people don’t agree with me and my ideas, I want them to say at least he got up and said it for himself.”

5 Minute Tute: The US Midterms

0

What are the mid-term elections?

Mid-term elections take place halfway into a president’s four-year term. While presidents serve four-year terms, the law-makers in Congress do not. Members of the House of Representatives must seek re-election every two years. Senators serve six-year terms. The Constitution divided the body of 100 senators into three equally sized ‘classes’; the terms of the classes are staggered so that every two years one-third of the Senate faces its electorate. Therefore, in mid-term elections all 435 Representatives and roughly one-third of Senators will face election. Additionally, leading political officials in the States may also be up for re-election.

How does the president’s party normally fare?

When a president’s party has held control of Congress in the years preceding the mid-term elections, these elections are generally interpreted as a referendum on the dominant party’s performance and the leadership of the incumbent president. Commentators in Washington will draw heavily on the mid-term results as they assess Obama’s first two years and prospects for re-election. If we look at historical patterns, one consistent trend is that the president’s party tends to lose seats in Congress at mid-term elections. Another consistent finding is that the state of the national economy, and in particular the level of unemployment, is a strong predictor of the number of seats that a president’s party loses.

What does this mean for Obama?

The Obama administration presides over stubbornly high unemployment rates. If the trends from previous mid-term elections continue in 2010, then it is likely that the Democratic Party will lose a significant number of seats in Congress. Expert predictions of Democratic losses in the House range from around 20 seats to as high as 50; the higher estimates would mean that the Democrats would lose control of the House. In the Senate the Dems could realistically lose up to 9 seats. So, overall, it is quite possible that President Obama could be forced to deal with a Republican Congress until the next presidential election in 2012.

What about the Tea Party movement?i>

The Tea Party movement has received a large amount of attention because it has backed a number of competitive Republican candidates. It is difficult to characterise the movement because it does not have a central organisational apparatus and its diverse membership emphasises a range of themes and even sometimes endorses different candidates. But one recurring theme is disillusionment about what it perceives to be excessive government spending and involvement in the economy and society. In some states the Tea Party candidate is highly competitive, but in other cases the Tea Party candidate can be easily portrayed as an ‘extremist’ (e.g. Christine O’Donnell in Delaware), which could hinder the Republicans.

Intoxficated

0

Morning all. It’s Friday, and that means one thing: the day’s a write-off. I can picture the scene – you’ve just woken up. You don’t feel that bad actually…oh, it’s 1:15, that’s why. Three chips have mysteriously found their way into your pyjama bottoms. Bemused and slightly horrified, you check your pockets. There’s a broken cigarette, a tattered VIP band that seems to have been stuck together by chewing gum, and finally you find your phone. Not much there – the only photo from last night is of an unknown couple kissing, and you’ve a text message received at 04:27 from the girl you’ve been running away from all night: “im horrijbly driunj.” And at the centre of this scene of destruction, right at its very heart, lies vodka…

OK, I’ll admit it. That was a very tenuous connection. Very tenuous indeed. But give me a break – I’m bound to a word count here, and have instructions not to sound like a Wikipedia article. Anyway – vodka is essentially a mixing drink. There’s no point buying good stuff. I think it’s at its best blended with fruit, or in a vodka and tonic – G & T’s urbane, edgy, left wing cousin.

Last year we made raspberry vodka (and gin): mix a 75cl bottle with about 150g raspberries and about 165g white granulated sugar, and leave for ages. If you make it at the end of this term it will be perfect for 0th week of Trinity, and very potent. Of course, there’s the skittles thing too: buy five bottles of the duttiest vodka imaginable, and five packets of skittles. Infuse each bottle with one colour of skittles (so roughly one pack to each bottle), and leave for 3-5 days, shaking when you can be bothered. The result is sweet, luminescent, and of nuclear strength. Similarly, leave Haribo in a saucer of vodka for a week – they expand to about 10 times their size, and have epic novelty factor.

Sloanes vs Preps

0

Sloanes versus Preppies: the rise of upper middle class cool

Ah the lifestyles of the rich and privileged. Whether it’s The Gossip Girl, pictures of Kate Middleton in Hello! magazine or movie The Social Network ,we cannot resist observing the world of (almost) have-it-alls. Two social groups of upper middle classes have particularly captured the imagination of thousands, prompting the production of numerous books, articles and aspirational clothing. They are the British Sloanes and the American Preppies. Exclusive, wealthy and well-connected, Sloaneys and Preppies may seem superficially similar in their lifestyles. However, scratch the surface and you quickly realize that the conservative and intellectual bunch of Preps is miles away from the “casually cool” set of Sloaneys from Kensington and Chelsea.

First things first – it’s all in the family

So you’d like to become a Sloane? Not so easy, dahling, unless you want to become one of those goddam awful self-created aspiring creatures. The true Sloanes have their status firmly imprinted since birth and they signal it in a suitably cultivated posh drawl. They have incredible self-confidence in themselves and their superior places in the world. Those who have the money live in Chelsea, South Kensington or Notting Hill, and split time between their lovely townhouse and their even lovelier country estate. Though if you really, really did try to join the gang, providing you have enough money and connections, it’s just about possible. Look and learn from Steve Hilton, Cameron’s right-hand man and the son of a Hungarian émigré who from humble beginnings is now a key part of the Notting Hill crew.

In contrast, you do not have to born into prepdom. Yes, having ‘old money’ and living on the East Coast of US definitely does help, but more important is an appropriate lifestyle (and the ability to maintain it). You see, it’s about ease and confidence. It’s about fitting in when you do and even if you don’t. It’s about the ability to tell a story, be the fourth – for tennis or for bridge – or somehow come to the rescue of the social situation. It’s about knowing some literature, some history, some sportsmanship and that a tie will do when you can’t find your belt. It’s about prizing your family as an institution above all. Preps know that family is an accident for birth or luck. And, for that, they are mostly grateful.

Education: that’s where my dad went to school

In both Sloane and Prep worlds, you have to go the right school. No self-respecting Sloaney can even think of going to something like a dreary, old local comprehensive. The £25,000+ price tag for a year of boarding school is totally worth the connections, status and the entry ticket to world’s best Universities. It’s of course Eton, Harrow, Radley for boys and Marlborough, Godolphin and Latymer and Cheltenham Ladies’ for girls. However, the path to academic greatness is definitely not the destiny of all Sloaneys. Yes, some are at Oxbridge, but many more are at Bristol, Brooks or St Andrews. Those that are bright have the attitude of being above it all (you would never speak to a Sloane about their degree. I mean, what degree? Work? Ah, they casually do it in two days when you have to slave away for a week) and usually study History of Art or other humanity subject. Sciences are just not cool. It is worth adding that the ‘gap yah’ is now part of every Sloaney’s ritual. As one of my friends described, “They will have smoked lots of drugs and had lots of sex, almost entirely with their friends from home somewhere in South America and/or Southeast Asia.” Sounds like fun.

In America, fewer than one percent of the secondary-school population board and they define the meaning of preppy. American private schools such as The Hockaday or the Lakeside School are similar, if not more wealthy, to their English counterparts: they have impressive art galleries, new science centers, vegan meal plans in dining hall and choirs touring around the country. They teach anything from Latin to Contemporary Intellectual History of African America. Mandarin Chinese has replaced German as the hardest language to learn, and it has replaced French as the most popular language to study. Although the Ivies have their share of preppies, the true prep colleges are places such as Colby, Williams or Hampden-Sydney College. In the latter, the 94% white, all-male, mostly protestant student body is given a book called “To Manner Born, To Manners Bred: A Hip-pocket Guide to Etiquette for the Hampden-Sydney Man” and is compelled to take a Rhetoric Exam. Preppies are at heart intellectualists and they are not ashamed to flaunt it.

The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it

Not all Sloaneys are rich, but most tend to be affluent, usually through inheritance or banking wealth. Sloanes do not have any problems with spending money – indeed, the weekly lash at Boujis and neighbouring clubs reveals tendencies to the contrary. Some Sloanes will fancy themselves as hot shot City types, and will generally get there with Daddy’s help. More and more are becoming entrepreneurs, such as Ben Eliot and his uber successful company Quintessentially. But the edgy industries are PR (where David Cameron started off), media (Jemima Khan) and art (e.g. running an art gallery). Sloanes shun anything that relates to science and engineering. Come on, that is all a bore.

It is not for lack funds that preppies hew strongly to the concept of thrift, though it can be. Preppies are proper, nature-loving puritans who enjoy the tradition of passing the used garments down the line. The most preppy of Americans source their wealth from steel, oil, gold and land and give it to charities, their alma maters or hospitals, naming a room, hospital or object after their name. It is worth pointing out that Preppies, more than Sloaneys, realize the society’s need for enterprise. They go to college with an idea of a career planted firmly in their minds and that is why quite a few of them go to Law School. Development Officer, Decorator, Contributing Editor, Real Estate manager are all jobs that get a yes in preppy circles; Computer Scientist, Research Doctor, Sex Worker and Fact-Checker a deeply resounding no.

All work and no play makes Henry a dull boy

For both Sloanes and Preppies, sports and second homes are an integral part of the lifestyle. Sloanes love entertaining in country homes in Suffolk, having lunch dates off King’s Road and play tennis or lacrosse. Kids probably had ponies when they were little (which have since been traded into Mulberry bags). Holiday destinations include Scotland, Cornwall, south of France and Monaco. But what about our own Sloaney Oxonians, congregating in Chch, Magdalen or Brasenose? You’ll find them at Law Soc Champagne and Chocolates, VIP areas of Bridge and Kukui, sports ground of their college, Jericho and occasionally plays, if their friend thinks he’s the next Hugh Grant. And, as one third-year Christ Church student explained, all female sloanes play lax and derive a sense of superiority from it. As she recounts, “It was in the Bridge VIP area. A poor unassuming non-Sloane stands at the bar, she is approached by a Sloane who informs her that she has been at ‘Lacrosse Cocktails’ (lacrosse is a must for the female Sloane). A friend of the Sloan asks the poor non-Sloane ‘And does one play lacrosse’, when hearing the negative response she replied ‘Darling, poor you’, before turning on her (ugged) heal and walking away in disgust without a hint of irony.” Classy.

Don’t look for Preppies in the city on the weekends. They are not there. They go to the country, to their second home to cook, go antiquing, nap, recharge batteries and socialize in country clubs. They are sporty and with a natural competitive streak, but their preferred sports are, well, clubby. Golf, sailing, tennis, squash, polo, biking, fishing are sports preps adore. Preppies are active types who use their free time to bounce around from sport to sport, from lunch to cocktails, from small talk to more small talk. Or to a book club, which is a la mode among preppy moms. You’re likely to see a prep holidaying in Martha’s Vineyard or in Europe (England, France, Italy, Switzerland, just in that order).

Fashion rules

Oh Sloanes are so above fashion. I mean, can’t you see it? For females, the casually coiffed blonde hair with a side parting (bun is also ok), heaps of stash representing the netball/lax/hockey team and strutting around in Jack Wills or pyjama bottoms reveal it all. Men wear open-necked shirts or polos with the collars turned up, flip-flops in whatever the weather, grow curly locks of hair (which they backcomb) and wear traditional coats like Barbour. However, some say that in these times Sloaneys have adopted a post-recessionista chique, opting for ‘Primani’ as their shop of choice (known, for us mere mortals, as Primark).

In a remarkable contrast, “Preppies wear classic, long-lasting clothes you can wear forever that never go out of style – nothing trendy or cheap-looking,” explains Alyssa Grossbard a Connecticut-born American studying at Oxford. Thus, Prep’s brands of choice are L.L. Bean, Brooks Brothers or Vineyard Vines. Ralph Lauren or Fred Perry will do as well. Preppies dress conservatively (no underwear showing), generally underdress, own blue blazers and make sure that all clothes are well-tailored and look incredibly chique. Preppies scorn the messy look often worn by Sloanies. As the True Prep handbook states, “Sweat suits are for sweating. You can try to get away with wearing sweats to carpool, to pick up the newspaper, or to drive to the dump, but last time you were at the dump, the drop-dead-attractive widower from Maple Lane was there, too.”

Conclusion

Although both social groups epitomize upper middle class on both sides of the Atlantic, Sloanes and Preppies would not get along. Of course, like in every social group, it is extremely hard to generalise, but one reminds me of an overly spoilt, if sometimes perfectly nice, rich brat that spends most of the time partying or lunching around in the country; whilst the other epitomizes square, White, Anglican, Protestant hard-working values. Preppy boy, please take me to dinner. Sloaney, I’m afraid you’re a bit of a bore.

Brookes just don’t like us. Do we care?

0

You may have read Ralph Turner’s back page report last week in this publication on the Blues’ one-nil loss to Oxford Brookes. This might have jogged your memory slightly, but the chances are, with no disrespect to my editorial colleague, that the report and the match itself didn’t stick long in the memory. A preseason loss at Iffley Road to Brookes in Freshers Week, you say? Sorry mate, I was too busy nursing my hangover, awkwardly socialising, tidying my room, or doing one of the 1,000 other things that rank as more important.

Those who didn’t spend their noughth week valiantly attempting to destroy their short-term memory might also recall that the match had to be played behind closed doors as large numbers Brookes students were planning to crash the game. As it transpired, Iffley’s gates were closed but they still came, sitting on the fence on Iffley Road and watching from there.

The Blues more used to playing in front of an assembled group of WAGS and hangers-on are probably appreciative of all the support they can get, and the lengths that these Brookes students were prepared to go to in order to watch the game reveals something startling: the one-way Oxford rivalry.

While our principal rivals will always be Cambridge, it seems our nearest geographical neighbours are cultivating a rivalry of their own. Whether this stems from an inferiority complex or the prospect of a Varsity trip to Reading seeming particularly unappealing, this author would not like to say. One thing is for sure though: feelings aren’t mutual.

Oxford Brookes’ relationship with its older neighbour is perhaps best likened to a schoolboy crush on the stunning girl in sixth form: cute, but ultimately misguided. The fact of the matter is that no matter how many fans they send down to Iffley in pink T-shirts for the rugby, the sentiment won’t be reciprocated. You won’t find Oxford University students chanting against Brookes, nor will you find them revelling in any sporting victories. In fact I would go as far to say that it’s totally the opposite from our perspective. Most students I have spoken to like Brookes. Those who bother to venture beyond the Cowley Roundabout find a social scene where the girls are pretty, the guys aren’t dull and the venues are both cheaper and bigger than the crushing monotony that is the Oxford clubbing scene. Maybe we should work harder to make them like us? Maybe we should stop arrogantly dismissing this rivalry, start a turf war and invade Milano. Or perhaps we should just let them hate us: it’s always nice to be wanted.

From the player’s mouth

0

JCR Rugby First Division

Teddy Hall 27

Brasenose 5

Another Tuesday, another player controversy, with last minute phone calls to OURFC headquarters checking the eligibility of “the other Brasenose Blues fly-half”. BNC flew out of the blocks, with a well-worked try in the corner almost immediately. However, this was all that would come their way, despite firm control in the midfield for the first quarter. Teddy Hall began to warm up into the game as the first half progressed, with this gradual improvement amounting to a try in the corner due to a solid drive from the pack. The boot of Angus Eames, however, failed to hit the mark for the extras – perhaps due to the presence of his overbearing girlfriend on the touchline? As the half-time whistle grew nearer, the dangerous BNC backs continued to pose a threat to the Hall tryline, but the last-ditch tackling proved enough to keep them out.

The second half proved much the same, and BNC became frustrated. Number 10 Charlie Millar and the pack started to gain a firm grip on the match, forcing errors from BNC who were running out of ideas. As usual, Roland McFall proved a crucial influence on the Hall win, often battering his way through the first line of defence to set up his outside backs. There was bad news though, as crucial Hall player Rich Collins had to leave the field with a nasty shoulder injury. Injuries had mounted steadily throughout the game and BNC were left with no Number 8 for the last half an hour. This one-man deficit proved crucial as Hall turned the screw, with Eames on the end of a well-worked overlap for another try on the hour, just after Captain Tom Sanders had added to his own personal tally. With the score at 20-5, Hall looked firmly in control. With one last drive in the corner they made yards quickly and Number 9 Henry Dunn found himself over the line on top of the ball.

With a score of 27-5, Teddy Hall once again ran out confident winners, taking a bonus point with them to firmly mark their place at the top of Oxford Premiership Rugby.

Henry Dunn

JCR Rugby Second Division

Christ Church 7

St Peters 0

Christ Church continued their winning start to the season with a determined display at home against St Peter’s this Tuesday. The House started brightly, earning a penalty within the first few minutes but were unable to capitalise with regular kicker Ben Anderson unable to take on the kicking duties. Christ Church were starved of possession and the number of tackles was beginning to take its toll, with Robbie ‘relegation’ Douglas taking a 10 minute blood-sub with a bloody nail. Sam Martin also came off with what he described as a “sore bottom” and this led to a cameo role for JCR President and officially retired player Matt Barrett.

When Christ Church got some ball their forwards were making good yards, with ‘Crippo’ in particular making some strong runs from the base of the scrum. After a period of good possession, winger Timothy Hoolahan, who himself was returning to rugby after trying out for the Golf and Netball teams, eventually went over in the corner, Oliver Birch adding the conversion to give Christ Church a 7-0 lead. There were no points scored in a nervous second half, with St Peter’s applying good pressure to the Christ Church defence, despite the abuse of Tom Morris. The House ground out another victory and continue their push for promotion back to the top division under the guidance of Director-of-Rugby Bradshaw.

Chris Whitehouse

JCR Football Reserves Second Division

Somerville II 2

LMH II 1

Let it not be said that the Cherwell sport section only focuses on the glamorous side of sport in Oxford. Of course there is a focus on the Blues playing Wasps and the excitement of the Octopush society, but there is still space to cover the drama of the JCR Reserve Second Division. On a cold but clear afternoon, not quite the best that Somerville could offer faced up against not quite the best LMH could offer.

As soon as 11 players from each team had managed to find their way to the pitch the game kicked off. During the tentative opening exchanges Somerville gradually took control of the game – marshalled in the centre of midfield by the experienced presence of Jig Plowright, who performed well despite controversy over whether he was in fact a member of the JCR. Somerville’s dominance was soon rewarded as Andy Ormerod-Cloke curled a delightful shot in off the crossbar to put his side one up. Somerville continued to press and should have scored a second after some strong work from the industrious Sam Newton presented Bruno Bainsfair with an open goal just six yards out. To the disbelief of everyone, however, Bainsfair, a veteran of the Somerville second team, contrived to completely miss the ball with a wild swing, tumble dejectedly into the net and watch as the ball was cleared away to safety.

LMH gained confidence from this let-off and were soon level, capitalising on some hesitancy in the Somerville back line to score. In the second half LMH continued to press but were unable to create many clear cut chances, largely due to some erratic and not at all biased refereeing. However, against the run of play Somerville broke to score the winner. Tom Varley lifted over an inviting cross at which the much maligned Bainsfair made a desperate leap. To the surprise of everyone, no doubt including himself, he managed to direct a superb, looping header over the LMH keeper and into the far corner. Somerville captain, the self-titled Nathaniel ‘Nate Dogg’ Jowitt, made sure his team kept their defensive discipline over the last few nervy minutes, ensuring an excellent victory.

Ralph Turner

Tales from the deep

0

Octopush is also known as “Underwater Hockey”, but forget any thoughts of very long sticks and swimming around on the surface: we really mean it when we say “underwater”. Players wear snorkelling gear, take a breath and dive down to tackle, push and flick the heavy puck across the bottom of the pool. The rules are similar to hockey though.

Unfortunately it’s not much of a spectator sport, so you’d better come and get in the water! What you can see from the surface tends to resemble piranhas feeding on some hapless Bond film goon. Sound isn’t much better – players keep position by watching out for each other, but a level of communication can be established. Utterances through the snorkels might go something like “Um om!” (Come on!), “Orr! O! O!” (Please score the goal now), “Aarrrr s**t!” (Oops, I appear to have been tackled).

Our club is a great way to meet (or become!) people with a wide range of interests, from many different academic backgrounds. We tend not to take things too seriously, but we were very pleased with our comfortably-far-from-last-place 2nd in the 2nd Division of the Student Nationals 2010. Our rampant exercise in the pool is often kept under control by a healthy pizza party, curry or visit to the pub after the session. So come along and get involved!

Blues stung by angry Wasps

0

Although rumours of an appearance by legendary France flanker Serge Betsen proved to be unfounded, Iffley sports ground was still buzzing with excitement as a bumper crowd anticipated the first high profile fixture of the Blues season against a Wasps side lacking any real household names.

The Blues, playing in their change strip of white shirts, blue shorts and red socks were slow to start and seemed to struggle against some crisp passing from a confident Wasps side. The first real cheer from the crowd came after only five minutes when a scuffle involving a couple of players from either side resulted in Blues forward Stuart Greef having to change his shirt, which had been torn almost to shreds in the commotion.

However, this small break in play provided little respite for the seemingly overwhelmed Blues as some powerful Wasps midfield play released the impressive Jacob Wilson, who went over to score in the corner. Wasps 13 Elliot Daly missed the resulting conversion.
The Blues replied almost instantly to register their first points of the match, as Charlie Marr began what was to be an impeccable evening with the boot scoring a long-range penalty. The huge roar from the crowd which greeted the sight of the ball sailing over the posts seemed to breathe new life into what had thus far been a lethargic Blues performance. However it was not long before a dominant Wasps scrum and further powerful midfield play began to pile the pressure on a Blues backline, which was aided only by some impressive last ditch tackling.

One of the key differences between the two sides was the quality of pass: Wasps assured and confident, Oxford nervous and fumbling. It was from a loose ball in midfield that Wasps were to score their second try. Some quick work following an interception released the ever-dangerous Wilson who was stopped on the line only for Jonah Holmes to force his way through. At this stage Wasps were running riot.

This score was followed up by more panicky play with the Blues defence parting like the red sea as Holmes slipped in to score a quick second. The omens were not looking good for Blues and it seemed that Wasps would soon disappear over the horizon.

If Blues were to get back into the match then it seemed that a score before half time was essential, and the biggest cheer of the night came when Oxford full back James Crozier finished off after some good work in the corner. Marr kept up his 100% record by guiding over a conversion from what seemed a near impossible angle. The impetus now seemed to be with Blues, who trailed 29-10 at half time.

Any hopes of a stunning second-half revival were effectively ended merely seconds into the second half, as Wasps’ Will Matthews intercepted in midfield to score with relative ease. Unfortunately Elliot Daly did not fair quite so well with the boot as he could only hit the post with his attempted conversion. He more than made up for that miss by scoring what proved to be the try of the night. Just as it looked as though Oxford pressure on the Wasps line might result in a try for the Blues, Daly seized on a loose pass before running the length of the field to score. His effort merely emphasized the superior fitness and anticipation of an experienced Wasps team.

A late rally from the Blues saw them reduce the deficit to a respectable 29-53 in what proved to be an enjoyable game of rugby.

Whilst the difference in fitness of the two teams was evident throughout the game, it must be remembered that this was the Blues’ first home outing of the season and it will take a while to integrate the new players into the team and ensure that they are on top of their game.

The result marks the first in a series of high-profile matches for Oxford who face Cardiff Blues in two weeks’ time and then enjoy visits from other Premiership sides Saracens and Sale later on this term. Details of all fixtures can be found on the OURFC website.