Somerville: 3, Keble: 2

Somerville continued their push for an unlikely promotion place this season with a hard fought win over Keble, surviving a late Keble fight back to take the three points in an entertaining game. Their victory keeps alive hopes of reaching the JCR Premier Division next season.

The welcome spring sunshine and a pitch in good condition encouraged the two teams to play some neat and attractive football in the opening exchanges, but a cutting edge was lacking and neither goalkeeper was required to make a save.

However, Somerville broke the deadlock midway through the first half, Joe Lane meeting Jake Richards corner with a firm header into the top corner. It was an impressive finish from the Somerville striker, seeing as he was near the edge of the penalty box when he met the outswinging ball, but still powered it past the Keble keeper.

The goal gave Somerville a lift and they ended the half unquestionably the better side. Captain Richards was beginning to pull the strings in midfield and his superb through ball was met by hard working left winger Tom Deegan, who couldn’t quite place his shot inside the post. Keble would have been happy to hear the half time whistle, having tested Somerville goalkeeper Rhys Bevan only once during the whole half.

Keble used the half time break to regroup and started the second half at a much quicker tempo. This impressive start was rewarded with an equaliser a few minutes after the restart. A long ball was flicked to Patrick Smith who evaded the challenges of two Somerville defenders before placing a smart finish into the top corner. Keble’s resurgence did not last long however, and Somerville were back in front less than five minutes later thanks to another goal from a corner. This time Ralph Turner met Pete Stewart’s in-swinging cross with a diving header at the near post.

Once more the goal galvanised Somerville and they scored again soon after from yet another set piece. This time a long throw was cleverly flicked on by Alex Portz to his central midfield partner Jig Plowright who powered a header into the bottom corner. At this stage it appeared that Somerville might run away with the game as every attack produced a goalscoring opportunity. Second half substitute Nathaniel Jowitt was unlucky to hit the cross bar twice in as many minutes from two well struck shots. The frame of the Keble goal was again tested soon after as Turner’s long range shot bounced on the bar twice down before falling safely into the Keble goalkeeper’s hands.

Keble responded well to this good fortune and ended the game much stronger, beginning to threaten what had previously looked like it was going to be a routine three points for Somerville. They pulled one goal back as midfielder Alan Willies took advantage of some poor Somerville defending to emphatically head home from a corner, setting up a very interesting final ten minutes.

Despite being driven forward by captain Will Tane, Keble were unable to break through thanks to a combination of impressive Somerville defending and a lack of composure in front of goal.

The result was probably fair given the balance of play, but Somerville will be wary of how their dominance faded towards the end of the game. They will certainly have to play better if they are to pull off the victories against Worcester and St Johns they need to maintain their promotion push over the season’s final few weeks. Somerville have proven themselves a good football team this year; aside from their form in the league, they knocked Premier Division champions-elect Christ Church out of Cuppers, one of the competition’s biggest shocks.

For Keble, another defeat means they are still firmly in a relegation battle and desperately need to gain some points from their remaining games.

Andy Murray may have lost the Australian Open final last month, and despite Australia’s attempts to mock his tears, it appears that they are in keeping with a recent trend that transcends almost every sporting arena.

Tears have forever, it seems, pervaded the theatre of world sport and characterized the careers of players and teams throughout their long histories. Who can forget Paul Gascoigne’s reaction to that yellow card in Turin, Jana Novotna at Wimbledon, or perhaps most touchingly the myth that Donald Bradman failed to pick Hollies’ googly at the Oval due to the lack of a hankerchief?

Such outbursts of emotion were initially one-offs. Forever remembered for their rarity as much as for their release of emotion and intensity. How times have changed. More and more it has become the trend to launch the team lifeboat as soon as defeat (or victory) is upon the melodramatic stars. Whether or not the RNLI has been drafted in to sit alongside the St John’s Ambulance men at international rugby fixtures is one thing, but perhaps more interesting is to find a reason as to why such a reaction to grief and relief has become increasingly acceptable of the field of professional sports.

Until the start of the 1990s, blubbing sports stars didn’t exist. If a player wanted to cry he or she would stoically leave the field of play, march to the dressing room before, only then, balling one’s eyes out into the nearest sweaty towel. ‘Gazza’ made such an impact purely because such a spontaneous outburst of emotion was unprecedented. A footballer crying? Surely not.

Yet now it is commonplace to see men and women from tennis players to footballers to golfers whimper and sniff through acceptance speeches worldwide. When Roger Federer won his second Wimbledon title he very generously contributed to Centre Court a downpour of such magnitude that, had it occurred ten minutes earlier would surely have sent the ball boys running for the covers and Cliff Richard.

Another case of overusing the lacrimal glands, under different circumstances admittedly, was when John Terry missed a penalty to win the Champions League in Moscow. He too opened the flood gates and had to be consoled by a fortunately already drenched Frank Lampard (and possibly later Mrs Wayne Bridge). This to add to the multitude of blubbers turned portable sprinklers who sit and litter the pitches with their bodies come final whistle in the knockout rounds of any international soccer tournament.

For some this is a genuine display of emotion for others it’s an unfortunate product of the players trying their utmost to ‘show commitment’ to their cause. In other words, if you don’t turn on the waterworks, then your heart was never really in it.

Football has been grateful to accept the image of the weeping hero more than any other sport. In part this is due to the number of supporters on the last day of the season who shed more than a tear when their team is relegated. A great deal of empathy is created when they see their favourites pledging allegiance to the doomed club by joining in the shared bawling. When local boy Alan Smith did exactly that at Bolton in May 2004 he was embraced by the Leeds fans a ‘class act’ and was lauded for his dedication to the cause whilst Mark Viduka, who had simply shrugged his shoulders, was lambasted as an underachieving mercenary. Some watery eyes at a convenient juncture can, nowadays, make or break a career in the eyes of the fans.

Even cricket has caught the crying bug. The Ashes of both 2005 and 2009 were fortunately bereft of tears, but not so the podium at last year’s women’s World Cup. After England had defeated New Zealand in the Final, the ‘White Ferns’ captain Haidee Tiffen fronted the post match interview visibly welling up and exited tearful. Serial sniffler Federer behaved in an almost identical manner when defeated at the Australian Open in 2009 after Rafael Nadal got the better of him. Here once again the tears were of the loser, those now ubiquitous tears that polarize audiences; either you sympathize with the defeated or laugh at their childish and public display of emotion. In the case of Federer one has seen them so often, that whether he is conqueror or conquered he is seen with a crumpled face of unbridled emotion.

Making grown men cry is something that only sport can conjure on a truly public front. The spontaneous release of emotion is something that connects the star to his fans and allows someone as masterful as Federer to finally appear human. The true tears do show the passion and desire that draws so many people to watch and enjoy sport in the first place, though the more we as an audience see such antics, the more the act is diluted by the very watery teardrops that fall. There is obviously no way that such an act can be controlled, but the day the lifeboats arrive at Twickenham is the day that surely crying has taken too great a hold on what was originally the macho world of men’s sport.

On Saturday 13th February, in the Examination schools, the Dark Blues lined up against the Powder Blues in the 103rd Fencing Varsity Match. Earlier in the day, Oxford’s Women Blues had valiantly fallen to the Tabs, adding to the weight of expectation on the Oxford Men. Cambridge probably had to be considered favourites, being unbeaten since March 2008, but the last time these two teams had met, the Light Blues only triumphed on the final hit. Before the fencing began, the National Anthem rang out, reminding fencers and spectators alike of the importance of the occasion.

The match began with sabre, traditionally Cambridge’s strongest weapon. However, under the guidance of this year’s captain Alex Crutchett (Balliol), Oxford sabre fencing has undergone a mini-Renaissance. Competing alongside Crutchett were Mike Coombes (Exeter), Dom Kerr (Magdalen), and Oxford’s American import Matt Kolasa (Kellogg). All produced some excellent fencing, with captain Crutchett setting the standard with an opening 5-1 victory against Felix Wood. Unfortunately, however, the Oxford sabreurs also became frustrated by differences of opinion with the referee. Consequently, they failed to build on this early lead, going into the final sabre bout trailing 40-38.

In this bout, Alex Crutchett faced his elder brother, Anthony. Alex took the opportunity to give Anthony a few reasons to regret his choice of university, with some excellent hits. However, Anthony is a veteran of three previous Varsity matches, and did enough for the Cambridge sabre team to edge a 45-43 victory.

Oxford had hoped to establish a morale-boosting lead in the sabre. Instead, they went into the foil 2 hits down. Cambridge won the foil relatively easily in both the BUCS league matches this season, and so a special performance was needed from the Oxford foil team. In particular, hopes centred on top Dark Blue foilist, Mat ‘Ginger Ninja’ Shearman (Lincoln). Shearman did not disappoint, with his performances involving a lot of fist pumping and shouting. He upset the Tabs’ mentality with his exuberance, aided by some deftly executed attacks.

Alongside Shearman, the old man of the team, Matt Baker (Exeter) was also fencing foil. An epeeist by trade, he had been humiliated 9-2 by Cambridge’s Dan Summerbell earlier in the season. However, he was determined not to let Cambridge’s abrasive foil leader get the better of him again. Wearing a foil jacket from days when Baker was undoubtedly slimmer, he managed to manoeuvre around Summerbell and the other Tab foilists, and bemused them by scoring some fine hits. The hard work of the fight – and celebrating the hits he was scoring – left Baker dizzy and in need of an extended breather.

Oxford had also planned to use American sabreur Matt Kolasa in the foil. However, Oxford captain Alex Crutchett substituted himself, unable to face being idle during a Tab-bashing. He showed he had the talent to match his bravado. The speed of his footwork and bladework rattled the Cambridge foil team, and led to some important points being scored.

Despite these heroic efforts, the Oxford foilists still fell behind to a well-drilled Cambridge team. Nevertheless, the 45-33 scoreline was far tighter than the Tabs would have expected, and gave a glimmer of hope to the Oxford team.

The final weapon, epee, is notoriously hard to chase hits in. Many Dark Blues’ supporters felt that victory was beyond Oxford’s grasp, as they needed to win by 15 points. But the naysayers had not counted on the determination of the Oxford epeeists. In particular, they were unprepared for the magnificent performance of Luxembourger Phil Birget (St Peters). In what could well be Luxembourg’s greatest ever military success, Birget butchered the Tabs with no mercy.

Opening the epee was Matt Baker, back to fencing his weapon of choice. Baker was 1-0 up before he even fenced, as Cambridge received a red card for faulty equipment. Baker then got the crowd pumped, beating his French opponent Valentin Dalibard 5-2. Next to step up for the Dark Blues was the towering 2 metre figure of Nick Wareham (Univ). Wareham fenced sensibly to hold Phil West to 4-4. The Tabs then received another red card for further faulty equipment, before Birget the Butcher destroyed his first opponent Gasparetti 5-0, leaving the score at 15-6.

Inside the Dark Blue camp there was a feeling that something special might be about to happen. Oxford had planned to use Rupert Paines (Regent’s Park) for Wareham’s remaining epee bouts. But, inspired by Wareham’s performance in the first bout, and aware that the Cambridge’s Dalibard struggled with fencing left-handers, Paines suggested Wareham stay on for the next fight. Baker agreed with this admirable display of humility, and backed Wareham to fight again. Wareham went on to fence a solid bout against Dalibard, winning 5-4. Baker then returned to fence Anthony Crutchett and put the crowd to sleep with a 2-1 victory leaving the score at 22-11.

While the crowd might have been uncertain at what was going on, Oxford’s strategic plan was taking shape. The masterpiece was unveiled when Birget ‘the Butcher’ returned to the piste. He carved strips off the Tab hulk at will, attacking quickly and with determination. He was jumping for joy, indicating to the crowd where he had hit his opponent.

When Birget had sated his appetite, Paines came on to fence Anthony Crutchett. Never has a 0-0 draw been executed with such control, patience, and overall skill. It is not easy to hold a fencer off, and Paines did so with inspiring calm. A devastating airhorn blast from Baker let the Cambridge team know that holding Crutchett to nothing was a victory for the Oxford team. Why? Because Birget the Butcher had one last fight. Given space to score even more points, Birget went in and destroyed the Tabs’ last hope, Dalibard. As the noise from the crowd increased in intensity, the Butcher revelled in the massacre. Every hit made an Oxford victory seem more and more inevitable.

The final bout saw Baker lining up against Phil West. The crowd seemed confident in Baker’s ability, possibly remembering how he had clawed back 6 hits for victory two years ago. However, he himself was less certain, being all too aware of his faltering ability to focus. Still, as chants of “BAKER! BAKER! BAKER!” filled the Examination Schools, Baker began to sense the abject terror that was filling his opponent, and knew victory was in sight. He held it together and wrapped up a 45-25 epee victory. Oxford had won the Varsity Match again, and the deafening roar of a packed Exam Schools sent the Tabs on their way. They had learnt to their cost that, to Dark Blue fencers, the Examination Schools is hallowed ground.