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Students join scout higher pay call

Scouts across the University have spoken out about their low pay and poor treatment by colleges.

Many scouts noted that although they enjoyed working at the colleges, they felt that they were not being paid enough and suffered from a lack of respect from college authorities.

One scout from Balliol who wished to remain anonymous said, “the cost of living in Oxford is expensive – house rental especially. Wages don’t reflect this.”

Another scout from Balliol suggested the same. They commented: “[the cost of] accommodation is too high in Oxford. Transport is too high. Food is too high.

“The Oxford City Council tax is going up again and again. I think if our pay could be raised up to £7 per hour we will manage some of the cost of living in Oxford.”

Scouts at other colleges have also voiced concerns about a lack of respect from college dons. A scout from Hertford who did not wish to be named said, “people need to realise that cleaning is hard work.

“Just because we haven’t got great qualifications, it shouldn’t mean that a cleaning job is poorly paid.”

Another added, “we need a greater basic civility between fellows and scouts who pass by each other in quads or outside college daily (e.g. good morning). That means basic good manners and rightful respect of fellows to scouts.”

The petition for higher pay has been backed by students who have set up the Oxford University Living Wage Campaign, part of a wider campaign, involving trade unions and city councillors, to make Oxford a Living Wage City.

The Living Wage campaigns claim current wages fail to reflect the high cost of living in Oxford and the rising costs of global commodities, often forcing scouts to take second jobs to cover costs and leading to many scouts living in poverty.

The Living Wage, which is based on an index of costs of things such as accommodation, transport and food, is calculated using a method developed at York University. It has been estimated at £7 per hour for Oxford, far below current levels of pay for scouts.

Despite the pressure and despite the council recently agreeing to increase its salaries and pay its employees a Living Wage, many colleges are resisting reform, claiming current pay is adequate and above minimum wage levels.

Liam Taylor, who runs the Living Wage Campaign at Balliol, said there was widespread concern among scouts at the college about the level of pay and the rising costs of living in Oxford.

He said, “at Balliol College, scouts (the people who clean student rooms) are currently paid £6.05 an hour, well below the Oxford Living Wage of £7 an hour.

“This puts Balliol in the bottom 15% of all Oxford colleges in terms of how much it pays its staff. Last March, 38 low-paid workers in Balliol signed a petition asking for higher wages.”

Taylor said that despite widespread support from students and the Balliol JCR, which has passed several unanimous motions in favour of a Living Wage, college authorities had rejected the petition without consultation.

“The College Executive Committee last week rejected our proposals to set up a working party on the Living Wage in Balliol College, citing a lack of funds to raise staff wages. They rejected the issue out of hand without attempting to explore compromise solutions.

“There is no forum where workers at Balliol can negotiate for higher wages – the scouts do not even know at which meeting their wages are discussed – and the next staff consultative meeting is not until October,” he added.

Univ JCR President Stefan Baskerville also backed the Living Wage campaign. He said the cost of living in Oxford was close to that of London.

He said, “The University currently employs large numbers of low-paid staff through contracts with cleaning companies, many of whom are migrant workers who are paid at or just above the minimum wage, £5.52 an hour. As a result many cleaners live in poverty and some cleaners work up to fifteen hours a day, for multiple employers, to support themselves and their families.

However, Elizabeth Crawford, the domestic bursar at University College, suggested that hourly rates of pay do not accurately reflect the wages of scouts.

Crawford said, “at Univ the hourly paid staff have free bus travel (an annual season ticket) the value of which varies according to the contracted hours, an annual bonus and additional pay for long service.”

“I am certain that the College’s basic rate is well above that described as the Living Wage, when relevant benefits are considered,” she added.

Coucillor Joe McManners, who introduced the motion in November last year that led to the adoption of the Living Wage by the City Council, said that their was too much inequality in Oxford.

He said, “better pay for the lowest pay enables them to participate more fully in society and also reduced the impact of poverty on public resources.”

Theatrical Thrills

My friend sat me down, and smirked.

‘Tim. You reviewed a play the other night.’

 

It was a Monday. Of course I had reviewed a play the evening before: in the cut-throat world of Oxford drama, that’s what Sunday night is for.  A slightly desperate night of agonising typing, re-typing had followed. I had a finished piece. I had a review.

‘I have a friend in the production’

 

Warning bells begin to sound. Everybody in Oxford knows someone in a play. And Thesps aren’t always overly grateful for critics’ contributions. Some angry phone – calls have taught me that.

 

‘He says you just sat there and stared. He says you didn’t laugh once, then just left. Like a machine.’

 

Now hang on. I want to tell the unheard story, the one behind the words on these pages. The reviewer’s story. Finally, I’m going to step out from behind the mask (expressionless! I’m… quite… friendly) and pull apart the myths.

 

Reviewers are just people. Most of time, we are people who love the stage as much as the actors and directors, people who read plays and night, and dream of being the new Charles Spencer (without actually having to be Charles Spencer. Urgh).

 

And, I hate to say it. We get things wrong as often as we get them right.

 

When you have come, alone, to a room in a college you’ve never entered, and are sat, next to the director, producer, cast friends and various backstage people, facing a production that is the very sum of their ambitions and dreams, it can get a bit tense.

 

You can feel as tense as any of the actors. Stage reviewer nerves aren’t as widely recognised. And (I’m beginning to warm up now – be grateful I only have limited space, because I CAN go on), we can never get it right. If we give a good review, we don’t get any thanks.

 

Of course it was good, they think, it was our play! If we give a bad review, then it is because we are idiots who fail to understand their vision. Oxonians! Spare your sympathy!

 

I hasten to add that’s it’s far from all bad. You see some of the best plays around, and for free. Indeed people go out of their way to make you comfortable, to be friendly.

 

It’s slightly desperate, but it’s much appreciated. Sometimes you come across an absolute gem, and all the trudging back and forth, the hours and editing your review to fit word lengths and deadlines, are suddenly worth it. Productions like this term’s The Bald Primadonna and Dirty Linen absolutely reaffirm my faith not only in humanity, but in student theatre.

A critic travels all over Oxford, meets incredibly talented people, sees colleges and plays he wouldn’t normally see. I want to end this column on a high.  I want to salute the opportunies of Oxford theatre.

Thesps hoard play profits

An investigation into the funding of stage shows in Oxford has revealed that unaccountable student companies have kept money intended for re-investment in University drama.

Most plays put on in Oxford are underwritten by Cameron Mackintosh, a West End production company that promises to reimburse students for any losses they may incur.

In return, the shows’ organizers must sign a contract agreeing to re-invest any excess profit in future productions.

However there is little formal supervision to ensure this takes place. Oxford University’s Drama Officer, Sam Sampson, acknowledged that he “[is] aware of the problem.”

In response to Cherwell’s allegations, he said: “contractually, producers are obliged to put the money back into the system. Unfortunately, they don’t always do this.”

Sophie Ivatts, a member of the University Drama Society’s committee, said: “there probably does need to be a more accountable framework in place to check how the money is used. If students sign a contract with Cameron Mackintosh, they are using that underwriting facility to cover any potential losses, so they shouldn’t then use the system for personal gain.”

She admitted that “the issue has been raised at committee meetings. However, it only affects a small proportion of plays, since many make a loss – and of those that do not, only those staged at the Playhouse have a chance of turning over more than a couple of hundred pounds.”

Toby Pitts-Tucker, who has been managing a production of The Tempest this term, said: “I think it’s up to the JCRs and other societies to decide what to do with their money. After all, they are free to debate whether the production deserves funding. However, I agree there should be more safeguards and accountability in an ideal world.”

The University Drama Officer told Cherwell: ‘I’ve been making an effort to contact all those finalists who’ve had production companies, to encourage them to re-invest in Oxford drama, or donate to college and University funding bodies.”

Pitts-Tucker, however, suggested that this was not always the case. He said, “I see the drama officer every week, but he doesn’t have much to do with the financing of my play. Though he does provide fantastic and invaluable advice to many other productions.”

He continued: “I think [Sampson] does more to scrutinize the accounts of plays staged at the Playhouse, who have a chance of turning over a large profit.”

However, another second year producer, who did not want to be named, claimed: “there’s plenty of informal oversight of all producers’ actions in Oxford. The Drama Officer is very thorough in following up on people.”

The student continued: “people who want to get into drama have an incentive not to keep hold of the money.

“They want to be trusted and sow the seeds of a future career. Most producers I know have re-invested money in future shows.”

Furthermore, Ivatts pointed out that “students who do not have underwriting are entitled to keep the proportion of any profit they make from their own investment. The problem comes when your company has been set up ‘to further the cause of Oxford Drama.’”

When asked whether there were any producers that he was currently watching, Sampson responded: “I’m not going to name any specific examples, but there are people I’m in contact with. I think it’s a problem student drama has always had, and will probably continue to have.”

Grad pay still lags behind Tabs

The average Oxford graduate will start on a salary nearly four thousand pounds higher than the average university leaver, according to statistics released by the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA).

The latest figures, for the year 2005/2006, show that degree leavers from Oxford earned an average of £22,450 in their first year of employment, compared to the £18,504 average for all higher education leavers.

Despite this large difference, Oxford still falls behind UCL and Cambridge, where graduates earned an average of up to one thousand pounds more than their Oxford counterparts. UCL leavers averaged salaries of £23,614 whilst Cambridge graduates received £22,910.

The statistics, for full-time first degree leavers entering full-time paid employment or self employment, suggest that an Oxford degree is highly valuable to graduates looking for work. OUSU President Martin McCluskey said that the figures were a testament to the quality of the education Oxford provides.

“Oxford graduates are widely recognised by employers as some of the most able and this is clearly reflected in these statistics from HESA. Oxford’s teaching style and the emphasis on independent learning obviously create graduates who are attractive to employers for the depth of their knowledge and sound analytical skills,” he said.

He added that students should be attracted by this high standard of teaching and not the lure of a large pay packet.

“I’d hope that applicants are drawn to Oxford not for expected starting salaries after they graduate, but for the educational experience while they’re here,” he said.

Finalists looking to move in to jobs in the summer may be cheered by the suggestion that their degree will lead to rewards in the world of work.

Thomas Smith, a history and politics student who finished Finals last week, said, “I think the fact that the average starting salary for Oxford graduates is some four thousand pounds higher than the national average does show that an Oxford degree is still a significant asset when going out into the world of work.”

But the extra thousand pounds earned by the average UCL leaver suggests the long hours and numerous essays may not be worth it. Oxford law students work up to 15 hours more each week than those at UCL, according to figures released by the Higher Education Policy Institute, but this is not reflected by graduate salaries.

One finalist at St Peter’s said the University should look to improve its Careers Service to ensure Oxford graduates get the jobs they desire.

“Its obvious that Oxford students have to deal with far higher, even ridiculous, workloads than the majority of other Universities, UCL being one. I think the University needs to do more to help students find the job they want because at the moment it is being out-performed by its competitors,” he said.

Karen Barnard, Head of the UCL Careers Service, said that UCL placed great emphasis on careers advice for students.

“UCL recognises the importance of student employability and provides career development support at all levels from first-year undergraduates to final-year PhD students,” she said.

McCluskey stated that Oxford’s own Careers Service was giving first class advice to students who should take advantage of it.

“The Careers Service provides a great service to students both through the personal service at Banbury Road and through the Careers Fairs they organise regularly. Students need to be aware that they can approach the Careers Service and pop in anytime – even after they graduate,” he said.

A spokesperson for the University also said that Oxford’s own Careers Service was providing students with a valuable service.

“Oxford is keen that students find employment that suits their education and interest. To this end, the University has a well-equipped careers service that provides comprehensive information and impartial guidance.

It is one of the best-resourced and most-used careers services in the country. The Careers Service offers objective information and guidance about a full range of careers, and works proactively to advertise vacancies in all sectors,” she said.

Some Oxford finalists have stated that salaries and bonuses are not important to the average undergraduate, who is more interested in job satisfaction than pay.

Phil Moss, a Physics finalist, said, “I think people who choose a degree course and location based only on starting salary are not looking at the big picture. If people choose a degree for earning potential only, they appear to have a rather depressing outlook on life, if the power, status and satisfaction that comes from the increase in pay is their primary motivation.”

An English finalist at Worcester also stated that earnings were not a key concern.

“For those that want to earn obscene bonuses, Oxford gives them a route into the City, and limitless pocket money in exchange for their difficult degree. For most of us, job satisfaction is a higher priority, and our extra 15 hours of work aren’t being reflected because we don’t want them to be,” she said.

Bird flu strikes Oxfordshire farm

Vets have slaughtered 25,000 chickens after bird flu was discovered at a farm near Banbury.

The outbreak occurred just fifteen miles away from the Gatecrasher music festival, prompting health fears amongst the hundreds of students who attended the event two weeks ago.

Chickens on Eastwood Farm had been infected with the disease for three weeks, before bird flu was suspected and precautions taken.

However, the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra),stressed that the risks of H7 to human health are low.
The birds have been infected with the H7 strain of Avian influenza, rather than the deadly H5N1 strain. However there have been cases in Britain where farm workers have suffered conjunctivitis and flu-like symptoms from it.

A 3km protection zone around the farm and a 10km surveillance zone have been put in place around Eastwood Farm. The laboratory results on some of the dead chickens show that the H7 strain of bird flu is still highly contagious.

Further tests will now take place to try to establish links with previously identified Avian flu viruses and where the disease could have originated. It is suspected that the disease has been spread by wild birds.

The movement of birds and bird products have been banned in the whole of the temporary zone and all kept birds must be isolated from contact with wild birds. Restrictions have also been imposed on people who have contact with wild birds.
Students who attended Gatecrasher two weeks ago expressed concern that their may be health risks.

One Keble undergraduate, who attended the festival, expressed his concern, saying, “I’m quite worried. The chicken farm was really close by as we could all smell it when we were at the festival.”

A St Anne’s third year who also went to Gatecrasher said, “I’m concerned about the whole thing, given that a bird pooed on me and that bird flu is such a big issue in the media at the moment. I haven’t felt ill or anything since the festival on Sunday, so hopefully I’ll be fine.”

However, others were less worried. Jocelyn Corner, a second year student at Pembroke, explained that she was not greatly concerned by the news. She said, “The fact that the disease can only be spread by having close contact with infected chickens means that I don’t feel at any particular risk.
Map of outbreak area
“It’s certainly not going to stop me from eating chicken. If the more deadly H5N1 strain had been discovered then I’d be much more worried that an outbreak had been found so close to Oxford. I do feel bad for the farmer though, and the chickens.”

In a statement a University Press Officer said, “The University has a flu pandemic planning committee which exists to plan for any type of pandemic flu, including bird flu. If there were an outbreak various procedures would kick in depending on central government assessment of the threat level (which right now remains at low).”

The Health Protection Agency has confirmed that the risk to public health remains low. The Food Standards Agency has also confirmed that the disease cannot be contracted by eating food, but can be contracted by close contact with infected birds.

Defra is considering whether any wider measures are needed.


Avian influenza

– Avian influenza (bird flu) is a highly contagious viral disease affecting the respiratory, digestive and/or nervous system of many species of birds.

– H7 is the non-deadly strain of bird flu: the risk it poses to humans remains low.

– H7 infection in humans is rare, but can occur among persons who have direct contact with infected birds.

– Advice from the Food Standards Agency remains that properly cooked poultry and poultry products, including eggs, are safe to eat.

– The H7 virus is destroyed by cooking thoroughly. By contrast, H5N1 is a much more virulent and deadly form of bird flu.

The Zutons – You Can Do Anything

If I were writing this review without having heard the album it’d be pretty easy. Let’s see, a third album from a relatively-successful -but-never-huge indie band who rose on the back of their unique individual sound all the way to a Mercury music prize nomination.

That same band who then really hit the mainstream with their huge radio-slaying hit ‘Valerie’ from their second album. This lot are finished, right?

Well, not quite. This album definitely starts rather well; opener ‘Harder and Harder’ zips into action with typical sax fuelled zest, backed up by those Pulp Fiction-esque reverberating spaghetti western guitars.

In fact, the second song isn’t half bad either, with the tales of a cheating man on ‘Dirty Rat’ sonically reminiscent of the gorgeous ‘Confusion’ from the first album.

Then it all goes a little pear shaped. Upcoming single ‘What’s Your Problem?’ might well fly into action with rather a lot of promise but after thirty seconds of quite annoying warbling from singer Dave McCabe and tired rehashing of the whole, ‘look we’re so cool we’ve got a sax’ I’m considering throwing the CD out of the window.

Then if that tempted me then God knows how I resisted after ‘You Could Make the Four Walls Cry’. It’s got that appalling rhythmic piano backing like something by The Feeling or Take That’s ‘Shine,’ and when the admittedly sexy Abi opens her mouth to sing, it’s not just the CD but the whole damn laptop that’s ready to fly, and I really like my laptop.

Okay, it’s not that bad. There certainly are a few worthwhile tracks and the tale of a granny shagging gigolo on ‘Freak’ – ‘I’m a freak, I get my money through love’ – is both musically and lyrically better than anything else on this album.

Yet that aside, this album is isn’t that great. Lead single ‘Always Right Behind You’ is a prime example. It’s like someone repeatedly tapping you on the shoulder mid-conversation; it’s just plain annoying.

Two stars

Cocaine found at OUSU HQ

Evidence of cocaine use has been discovered in the Oxford Union and OUSU offices.

Cocaine-detecting swabs used to wipe flat surfaces in the toilets in Oxford University Students’ Union’s Bonn Square offices tested positive, as did swabs in five of the eight cubicles tested in the Oxford Union.

The OUSU building is leased by the University and the third floor houses the staff of The Oxford Student and Oxide radio alongside the sabbatical offices of OUSU staff.

The cocaine swabs were used to wipe a ledge by the sink and the back of both toilet cisterns in the third floor bathrooms, revealing traces of the class A drug.

OUSU President Martin McCluskey said he was shocked by the results of the tests, saying “I can’t quite believe it.”

He continued, “I’m surprised. The building is used by hundreds of people each week… There are more people from the OxStu and Oxide here than sabs [OUSU sabbatical officers].”

Hannah Kuchler, editor of the Oxford Student, whose offices share a bathroom with the student union, also argued that the toilets were freely accessible, saying, “Jacari, UCU, the fucking Lecturers’ Union. Anyone could use it.”

McCluskey added, “I can assure you that it wasn’t an OUSU sab. We don’t have a policy towards drug use, but we’re zero tolerance. The security in this building isn’t fantastic, sometimes the doors are open at weekends.”

He emphasised that he trusted OUSU’s sabbatical staff, saying, “we spend a lot of time together and I’m sure they’re not cocaine users.”

The current President suggested that the offices were regularly used by people not involved with the Student Union, saying, “Oxide and the OxStu combined bring in more people than OUSU… We’ve got non-students based here, too.”

McCluskey did not, however, give any indication that OUSU’s security arrangements would change in the near future: “There’s very little we can actually do. This is a University building, not an OUSU building.”

Tests also revealed traces of the illegal drug at the Oxford Union. Swabs turned up positive results in over half of the eight cubicles tested in the Oxford Union, and several students have admitted to using the drug on the premises.

The tests at the Oxford Union were conducted on two separate occasions: after President’s Drinks on a Thursday evening, and on a weekday afternoon.

One Oxford Union member, who preferred to remain anonymous, commented on the results.

He said, “there are certain people, some quite senior, who definitely engage in drug use. I personally really dislike it. I don’t doubt that it happens.”

Another student, who also did not wish to be named, said, “it’s probably one of the best places to do coke in Oxford. The toilet cubicles are massive and there are no bouncers.”

He added, “there were three of us in a cubicle and no one batted an eyelid. I snorted it off the ledge above the toilet.”

Ben Tansey, President of the Oxford Union, described the findings as “really disappointing”.

He defended the security arrangements in place, saying, “we have security on the door. They’re briefed to deal with things like that. We search bags sometimes.”

However Tansey admitted that, “Obviously it’s hard to police the Union toilets 24/7.”

He denied that drug usage was a significant problem, saying, “I’ve never seen anyone do coke in Oxford. I’m quite clearly not in the scene.” Toby Shergold of Thames Valley Police warned that although the tests were positive, the drugs could have been used weeks ago.

He said, “we’ve done swabs in some licensed premises across the county, but it’s important to remember that it’s an indicator of drug use. However it’s not something that a premise should be condemned for. “It takes one person to use drugs in that cubicle, for you to take a positive result, in recent weeks. It can be positive from weeks ago.

He also stressed that swabs don’t reveal that large numbers of people were taking drugs at a given venue. Shergold said, “these swabs are not an accurate indicator of how much drugs have been taken in a licensed premise.

“We have had swabbing operations around the county and if a licensed premise has a positive result, this is a reason to work with them to stop any future drug-taking on their property,” he added.

In 2006 a Cherwell investigation found evidence of cocaine in 11 student venues, including the Union and the Bridge.

Interview: Noah and the Whale

First Mystery Jets, then Johnny Flynn and now with Noah and the Whale. Cherwell’s rumbling route through the indie pop of South London continues. Indeed these acts, along with part time band member Laura Marling, have seen rather a lot of each other over their short careers.

 

‘It’s great,’ notes violinist Tom, ‘we’ve all collaborated together.’ That they certainly have, what with NATW’s Tom and Charlie producing Laura Marling’s album, Johnny’s sister Lilly Flynn appearing live with the band and even sharing the talents of James Copeman with the Mystery Jets to direct some of their sublimely unique videos.

 

Copeman, for the uninitiated, is the man behind Mystery Jets’ awesome ‘Young Love’ video and was equally influential in the creation of the hilarious ‘Shape of my Heart’ video based on the capers of a cartoon comedy Mexican wrestler.

Surely this closeness leads to misconceptions and accusations of a scene? ‘This man knows the score!’ laughs lead singer Charlie as I offer the term twee as just one that has been thrust upon them, ‘it’s always just a term,’ Charlie continues, ‘In fact, it’s what I dislike about modern music, not the music itself, but how its treated. Bands get pigeonholed really early.’

Yet the band hardly seems worried that they have been labelled. And why should they? They certainly have enough to make them stand out from the crowd. Take the band name for example, Noah and the Whale, sounds almost biblical right? Charlie shakes his head, ‘people always think that, it’s actually taken from a quote from a movie.’

 

Apparently not, then, but try as I might the precise source of their title is something the band want to keep to themselves. They are distinctly more forthcoming about another defining feature in their choice of record label, the tiny Young and Lost Club.

 

‘It’s great the way they work,’ Charlie notes appraisingly, ‘just two girls out of a flat.’ Moreover ‘Young and Lost’ are not just the record label, they’re also the promoters and the band’s choice of such a unique team showcases just how they think and work.

Daisy Johnson commented last week that Johnny Flynn was a little bit of a looker, and judging by the enraptured look on the face of my partner in crime for the afternoon, Vikki Stephens, this lot aren’t bad either; ‘are you always this cool,’ she asks, seemingly awestruck, ‘or do you have to work at it?’

 

The band laugh and direct attention towards Urby, described by Charlie as, ‘the Liberachi of the band’ and this evidently is no exaggeration. Today he’s sporting a delightful leopard skin jacket and the sort of brash confidence typical of a rising star.

This confidence clearly transfers well to the stage and an exuberant, expectant young crowd are not left disappointed. Some bands featuring a violin, a ukulele and an accordion could be seen as gimmicky but not these guys. Tonight they come across as less of a joke and more like a miniature version of Arcade Fire, but with songs about love and sunshine rather than death and politics.

 

The individual parts might well be simple, but put it together and well, it’s just gorgeous. This is nowhere more true than on single ‘Five Years Time’, a perfect pop ditty that has the entire mesmerized audience happily jigging and dancing around in circles tipsy on the sheer joy of the music.

One last question come from my sidekick: if the band were stuck in a whale, who would they bring with them? ‘Ray Mears for survival’ bursta Charlie. ‘No! It’s got to be Jonah,’ surmises Tom, ‘he’s been there all before.’

 

Too right, but to be frank this band need no escape artist or divine intervention. They’re on the up and judging by both their charm and tonight’s performance things can only get better for them.

Desert Island Dons

Baroness Susan Greenfield
Pharmocology, Lincoln
Leading Alzheimer’s researcher

What would be the three essential possessions that you would take with you and why?
If they had to be inanimate objects then I’d bring a take away curry, my MP3 player, and The Leopard by Lampedusa.

How much would you miss academia?
On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not missing it at all and 10 being unable to live without it, I would say 5.

In what way could you use your years of academic experience to help you survive?
I think it would be an advantage to be able to think philosophically and to think things through slowly and clearly. That can be very useful in tough circumstances.

You’ve run out of firewood, but have the complete works of Shakespeare at your disposal – what do you do?
If there was any sort of other fuel, then I wouldn’t burn it. But if it was freezing, and there was no other fuel, then obviously there would be no choice. But I would start with my least favourite plays and leave my favourite till the last.

If you had one person that you could take with you, from any period of history, other than a family member or loved one, who would it be and why?
Elizabeth I – I admire her hugely; she was multi-faceted and very intriguing. I would love to be able to talk to her.

You can take one album, one book, and one film with you; which would you choose and why?

Music: Blonde on Blonde – Bob Dylan
Book: The Leopard – Lampedusa
Film: The Seventh Seal – Ingmar Bergman

You can have an unlimited supply of chocolate, beer, or books; which do you choose?
Books. It would be hard to survive the boredom without books to read.


Ian Goldin
Economics, Balliol
Former Vice-President, World Bank

What would be the three essential possessions that you would take with you and why?
ipod – Music is the food of love. Food – For my love of life. Wine – To remember civilisation.

How much would you miss academia?
I would miss friends, including some academics.

In what way could you use your years of academic experience to help you survive?
My teaching as an economist would be vital. We are taught to assume – I would assume a rescue and whatever else I needed.

You’ve run out of firewood, but have the complete works of Shakespeare at your disposal – what do you do?
Read, and then, if I need to, burn the covers and some of my least loved plays.

If you had one person that you could take with you, from any period of history, other than a family member or loved one, who would it be and why?
Cleopatra – She was apparently good with men, would have plenty of stories to entertain me with, and the means to buy or build a boat.

You can take one album, one book, and one film with you; which would you choose and why?
Music: Miles Davis – Complete Works – To hear a jazz genius.
Book: Shakespeare – Complete Works – To enchant and entertain.
Film: Monty Python – I’d need something to make me laugh.

You can have an unlimited supply of chocolate, beer, or books; which do you choose?

Books…..including the How To books of chocolate and beer making.

Peter Atkins
Chemistry, Lincoln
Atheism Activist

What would the three essential possessions that you would take with you be and why?
A razor, a laptop, and a telescope. The razor to ensure that I do not have an excuse to lower my standards, the laptop because I cannot imagine life without it, and the telescope to provide something inexhaustible to look at.

How much would you miss academia?
For stimulation a great deal, for the carapace of bureaucracy, not at all. I retired last September, and working from home is like being banished to a desert island, so I know this to be true.

How could you use your years of academic experience to help you survive?
An academic life develops the life of the mind; so although my physical environment will decay, I shall have the pleasure of time to think.

You’ve run out of firewood, but have the complete works of Shakespeare at your disposal – what do you do?
Burning a book would be a short term solution to an ongoing problem, so I would sit and shiver. But if there was a real emergency then I would burn the better known plays, Hamlet, Macbeth, etc, which would force me, after the ship had blindly passed, to come to terms with the lesser known.

If you had one person that you could take with you, from any period of history, other than a family member or loved one, who would it be and why?

Aristotle. It would be good to have the company of such an enquiring mind, and a joy to try to put him right on almost everything.

You can take one album, one book, and one film with you; which would you choose and why?
The Goldberg Variations, as a source of everlasting delight, the Handbook of Mathematical Functions, to give me sustenance when my laptop battery expired, and The Life of Brian, to remind me hilariously of human folly.

You can have an unlimited supply of chocolate, beer, or books; which do you choose?

Beer presumably comes in casks, which could be fuel or used to build a raft; books could also be used as fuel and to build a shelter, but not chocolate, as it would make my teeth fall out.

Bernard O’Donoghue
English, Wadham
Contemporary poet

What would the three essential possessions that you would take with you be and why?
Three essential possessions. Do I already have a Bose CD player (for the music)? If not, that; secondly, a perpetual watch/clock – I am obsessed with the time which I find a matter of endless interest. Thirdly (this is really boring) binoculars so I could crack the night sky at last and work out the references in Chaucer. (Alternatively, I could take David Edwards, the Engineer from Wadham, who knows everything, including Astronomy).

How much would you miss academia?
I would miss students a lot – but I suppose I would miss people generally on a desert island. There would be so much to miss that I don’t think ‘academia’ (I’m not sure what it is as a whole) would be the main thing. I suppose I’d miss academia, in the sense of a group of people who between them can answer anything, like astronomy.

In what way could you use your years of academic experience to help you survive?
This is the hardest question which I left and returned to. Academic life makes you heroically self-centred and self-important, which might mean you’d put up with your own company better than most.

You’ve run out of firewood, but have the complete works of Shakespeare at your disposal – what do you do?
Shakespeare: this depends. If it is a full set in separate volumes, you start by burning Henry VI Part III and keep going until you finally have to burn King Lear. If it’s a single volume, you proceed in the same sequence, but of course you have to pull the book apart and make pretty small fires.

If you had one person that you could take with you, from any period of history, other than a family member or loved one, who would it be and why?
Favourite companion: a bit of a leading question. I might take Seamus Heaney because he has a perfect and capacious memory, he has a great and wicked sense of humour, and he is a brilliant mimic. He is also obsessed with Ireland, like I am, so we could talk about it ad nauseam.

You can take one album, one book, and one film with you; which would you choose and why?

One album: Bach cello suites (boring again), played by Pierre Fournier. One book: an illustrated handbook of Astronomy. One film: Dr Strangelove.

Marcus DuSautoy
Mathematics, Wadham
Presenter, Mind Games

What would be the three essential possessions that you would take with you and why?
Yellow legal pads and pencils: for some reason, mathematics and the colour yellow are inextricably linked for me. I’d also take an espresso machine. As the mathematician Paul Erdos once said, a mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.
It’s a tough call for the last one: My guitar or a football. I suppose I could kill an animal and make a football from its bladder or something, so perhaps I’ll go for taking my guitar.

How much would you miss academia?
The great thing about mathematics is that you can do it anywhere. But I would miss sitting around the academic campfire telling my stories to the mathematical tribe.

How could you use your years of academic experience to help you survive?

Mathematics is a very lonely pursuit. It can be a harsh place to navigate and you need determination to fight your way to a solution. The trouble is that the mathematics I do is very abstract so I would probably be useless when it comes to the practical stuff.

You’ve run out of firewood, but have the complete works of Shakespeare at your disposal – what do you do?

Lose myself in the wonderful stories and forget the cold. I loved performing Shakespeare when I was a student in Oxford so I’d probably leap around reciting King Lear to keep myself warm.

If you had one person that you could take with you, from any period of history, other than a family member or loved one, who would it be and why?
The nineteenth century mathematician and revolutionary Evariste Galois who is the protagonist of my new book Finding Moonshine. Galois invented the language for symmetry that I use every day, before being killed mysteriously in a duel at the age of 20. I would love to meet him to ask what happened… and also to talk some maths.

You can take one album, one book, and one film with you; which would you choose and why?

Wagner’s Parsifal, Herman Hesse’s The Glass Bead Game and Disney’s Mulan. Parsifal always sends shivers down my spine. I read the The Glass Bead Game when I was an undergraduate in Oxford. It describes a game where the player must combine mathematics, science, music and art which I have been trying to play ever since. I did a tour in China with the British Council a few years ago when my twin girls were three, and when I got back they wanted to know where I’d been, so I put Mulan on. The girls insisted on watching ‘China’ over and over again, and I never got tired of it.

You can have an unlimited supply of chocolate, beer, or books; which do you choose?

My immediate reaction was chocolate. But it always totally depresses me when I calculate how many books I am actually likely to read in a lifetime. Time on a desert island would be perfect for getting through piles of books. So I’d choose Books.

Peter Bowden

Don’t you hate it when great entertainment ends? The first show I ever heard on Oxide Radio was a one-man current affairs phone-in; except the one man had a stutter rattling through every word, and the phone was broken.

He didn’t even know the phone was broken, so the first twenty minutes were solid, abject begging for someone – anyone – to please, please, talk to him.

This failing, he spent half an hour jabbering on about the um-um-um-conomy, to himself. Then he gave up and went home.

It was the single most tragic hour of anything I’d ever heard, anywhere, ever – the kind of entertainment you just don’t get on Radio 4. That’s why I miss Oxide.

Oxide’s gone now, because someone wants money for every song they play. A lot about this surprises me.

Did you know there’s a ‘music industry’ now? In the olden days we’d just smother musicians with praise and affection without a thought – but now, it seems, they want something in return.

Every time a song goes over the wireless, a few pence goes to an organisation who’ll divide it between the best of British talent.

The guy who wrote the lyrics to ‘Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’? He gets it. Scouting for Girls? They get it, and if you can’t afford to support these people, get outta the radio kitchen.

If we don’t pay up, they tell us, all British music will collapse in on itself. Just like that time in the ’80s when home taping killed music, and we had to spend the next decade staring at doorknobs and chewing our toenails until S Club brought it back.

It’s not just money they want – professionalism, too, lest anyone ever associate the name of Babyshambles with half-arsed schlock.

What they’ve forgotten is that for students, professionalism ruins everything. Oxide did ineptitude, and it did it well.

Listening to most ‘professional’ radio is like putting your ears to a cheese grater: ‘Hey, demographic! Here’s another wacky fact!

Need credit for double-glazing that’s not your fault? Call! Here’s Bloc Party. Here’s Bloc Party. Here’s Bloc Party. Here’s Bloc Party.’ I’ll take Oxide any day.

On a tangent: kill Scott Mills. Seriously, there’s no joke there. Kill him. You think there’s some ironic twist; no. Kill Scott Mills. Kill him, and burn his irritating Loaded tit-joke schtick. Hang the blessed DJ.

There’s never been professionalism in student papers, and that’s how I hope it stays. If there was professionalism, I’d be long gone: but in reality, all the editors do is filter out my frequent Holocaust jokes.

If you want to read the originals, just end every sentence with ‘in Auschwitz!’ – it almost makes me sound harsh on Scott Mills. I’m off now, though. Don’t you hate it when great entertainment ends?