Friday 4th July 2025
Blog Page 2180

The Higher They Climb

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The ‘Great Players Who Couldn’t Manage’ First XI would surely prove all conquering, boasting legends such as Graeme Souness, Bobby Charlton, Bryan Robson and, maybe after a plague or two, Steve Claridge. But whilst this Dream Team continues to await its final Alan-Shearer-shaped piece of jigsaw, it has recently welcomed the addition of Paul Ince. From my point of view his dismissal from Blackburn was justified, yet do his allegations yesterday of mistreatment at the hands of his board, and general malaise at the life-span of the Premier League manager, hold any weight?

Top of Ince’s complaints to Sky Sports was the claim that his board had not given him a chance to spend. Yet surely a manager should be able to take a good group of top-flight players – which is what Blackburn had on Ince’s arrival – and prevent a drop into the relegation zone. Ince must have known whether funds were available before arriving and so can’t blame John Williams posthumously, the latter understandably trying to avoid the repercussions that fellow blogger Kristian suggests have haunted Harry Redknapp’s old flames.

The fact is that the league has become an island floating in the clouds; parachute payments remain insufficient to break the fall and revenue differences leave relegation a terrifying prospect for established Premier League sides. Most agree that Rovers would have flirted with the fall had they stuck with Ince and so maybe the ex-[how much time have you got?] midfielder should consider himself lucky to have been given such a high-profile chance at all, following reasonable rather than spectacular spells at Macclesfield and MK Dons. Blackburn did act quickly to replace Ince, but what was their alternative? In a similar position Portsmouth are apparently backing their own former legend, and the difference between these contrasting routes may be highlighted by a difference of division by next season.

Premier League managers do face some of the lowest levels of job security in any industry. Yet this is the result of astronomical investment, in turn providing equivalent wages which surely offset their short-shelf lives. And whilst only a cynic would suggest that Ince was in any way motivated by money during his career (call me a cynic), no argument can counter his claim that ‘it is important you stand by your manager through thick and thin’ better than his own example as a player. Paul Ince has had many a word hurled his way, but ‘loyal’ hasn’t been one of them.

It’s a bit difficult to feel sorry for a top-flight manager when the sack beckons because such casualties soon find another job, a safety net apparently glued to every rung of the managerial ladder. The real concerns are therefore the clubs, as constant manager-swapping will never result in stability or even allow good managers to naturally emerge. In the meantime, the squad of managerially incompetent ex-footballers will continue to strut their terrible stuff up and down, and then back up, the Football League.

 

CHERWELL EXCLUSIVE: Ferguson’s reply to Benitez rant

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After Rafa’s sensational press conference regarding ‘Mr Ferguson’ this afternoon (which you can read more about tonight on Saturday 12:45), Cherwell managed to capture the United manager’s thoughts.

Click here to see the exclusive interview.

Has there even been a more flawed Big Four?

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It has been noted pretty much everywhere that Arsenal aren’t in the best shape. Ravaged by injury, under pressure from Villa, and severely lacking big players in several departments. Arsenal’s problems though, are obvious. It is unsurprising that one member of the elite is so easy to criticise. What is rather more so is that it’s almost as easy to do the same for the rest.

Man United’s league form since drubbing Stoke 5-0 in mid-November may sound impressive when expressed as DWWDWW, but when those four Ws are laboured 1-0 victories over struggling Man City, Sunderland, Stoke and Middlesbrough the picture is decidedly less rosy.

Then the Derby game. ‘Only the Carling Cup’ it may be, but a 1-0 loss to the worst team in Premier League history struggling in the Championship with a line-up including Vidic, Anderson, Scholes, Nani, Tevez and even Rooney and Ronaldo from the bench should certainly raise some eyebrows.

A glance at their squad makes this patchy stretch of results rather more understandable. It is often said that games are won and lost in central midfield, but this it seems is currently United’s weakness. The once promising Anderson has stalled, Hargreaves is crocked and Paul Scholes is a shadow of the player he once was. All of which leaves the not-so-mighty combination of Carrick and Fletcher likely to face Chelsea tomorrow. Hmm…

Adding to this the lack of a first choice right-back and the problems up front should leave Chelsea rubbing their hands with glee. Right? Well, actually, they rather have problems of their own, having lost that air invincibility they were playing with in October. Fortress Stamford Bridge is no more after not unreasonable losses to Liverpool and Arsenal, but it is the draws with West Ham, Everton, Fulham and most bafflingly, Southend, that are most worrying. Games like this would normally be won dismissively.

The Deco centred Plan A was quickly proven too predictable. With such a narrow formation more than one side has realised that putting the brakes on their rampaging full backs would restrict the space. Yet the switch back to the previously successful 4-3-3 is no longer a real option due to a lack of width. I refuse to acknowledge Malouda as a footballer, so that leaves just Joe Cole, hardly a natural wide man anyway. A far cry from the Mourinho side that had Wright-Phillips, Duff, Cole and the wonderful Arjen Robben to choose from. Yet 4-4-2 isn’t an option either without width. Chelsea have suffered from Robinho slipping from their grasp more than they might have imagined.

That leaves Liverpool, top of the league by 3 points, and the hardest of the bunch to criticise. They have easily the most balanced side this season; top goalkeeper, three excellent centre halves, ditto in central midfield and the best striker in the world. This balance even stretches out wide with Riera and Kuyt. Whatever anyone says about the latter as a footballer in general his effectiveness in this Liverpool side is without question.

Yet hardly anyone who doesn’t support them thinks they’ll win it. Current betting indeed still has them third favourites despite their league position. There certainly still seems to be a nagging national thought that this Liverpool team only seems good in terms of the weakness of the others and this was never the case for the best sides of any of their rivals.

The perceived wisdom is that they will crumble and the first evidence comes from the manager. With this bizarre press conference rant, Benitez has bitten Ferguson’s bait. If his team follows suit the league title will be contested between the three poorest sides in recent memory.

Barcelona would obliterate the lot of them on current form. Mind you, it makes the league rather more interesting.

 

You Betcha!

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Me and my missus went to the zoo and she said she wanted to see the zebra. I told her I’d been looking at them since I hooked up with her.

 

I’ve got a four matches for you this week, do with them what you will.

 

Sheffield United v Norwich City (4/6)

People will be worried about United’s recent home but the three losses they suffered were at the hands of Wolves, Reading and Burnley. Norwich do not possess the same quality as those three, especially away from home. They’ve only won twice away from Carrow Road and suffered four straight defeats on the road. Kevin Blackwell has just signed a one-year extension to his Sheffield United contract and expect him to celebrate it with a win.

 

Leeds United v Carlisle United (4/7)

Simon Grayson has had a positive effect on Leeds since he took over at Christmas, snatching a 1-1 at home to Leicester and winning impressively at Edgely Park. Their home form isn’t bad really – the majority of their losses came during McAllister’s lowest ebb in charge. Carlisle have only won one away all season and Danny Graham has been the subject of unsettling bids from Huddersfield. Coupled with Grayson looking to get his first home win, Leeds should win comfortably.

 

Gillingham v Aldershot (21/20)

Gillingham impressed me a lot against Aston Villa last Sunday. Don’t be worried by the fact Gillingham have drawn a lot recently compared to Aldershot winning four out of the last six. Aldershot’s away form is woeful. Before their last two victories against Chester and Barnet (two of the worst teams in the league), they’d lost 7 out of 8 on the road – the only other win coming on the opening day against lowly Accrington Stanley. Gillingham have only lost one at home, so it’s hard to see an Aldershot win.

NB: The match has now been postponed but keep it in mind when it’s re-arranged.

 

Notts County v Exeter City (8/5)

This one is here more for the price and is certainly worth a few cheeky quid. Notts Co are struggling at the bottom of the league – minus pre-season deductions, they’re 5th from bottom. Notts County have won 1 of their last 6 at home and only won two all season. Exeter, on the other hand, have only lost 1 of their last 6 away and are looking good for a surprise playoff place after their promotion from the Conference last season. At 8/5, Exeter can’t be ignored.

 

The fourfold would have paid 13/1 but unfortunately, Gillingham has been postponed. The treble pays just under 6/1 though, and the home double of Sheff Utd and Leeds pays over 6/4 if you’re going for bigger stakes.

Travel: From Petco to Petco

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So I went to New York for a bit last summer. Not for very long, only eight days, and the trip was a hard needle to thread. I wanted to see some of the city, and see my sister, and see a friend out there, as well as engaging in my standard holiday occupation of befriending locals. It was a pipe dream to think this could all be done properly, as I was also occupied by a side-quest; getting pet rats with my sister. I made a face at the idea initially, and sparing you from the week of youtube-based propaganda for the idea I succumbed to, they do actually make cute pets.

I find New York hard to pin down, and growing up in London, that is all I have to compare it to. What I love about London is that even with all the different, disparate bits of it, they all retain a sort of London vibe. It is hard for me to properly verbalize this, so maybe an example is a little clearer. A wander round London can start with the (currently) stressed out City Boys and Girls in the financial district, reach St Paul’s and then take you round my favourite bit of London, the South Bank, before reaching the West End, and ending up buying random nonsense around Oxford Street. Whilst there is an obvious demarcation between areas, they all share a common atmosphere, or at least I feel they do. We talk about London universities, as if they themselves contain a little bit of the city in them, and the students are, largely, acutely aware that studying in London is a little different from studying anywhere else in the country, for better or worse.

New York isn’t like that. Walking round Columbia University, which is 20 minutes away from downtown (i.e. in the movies) Manhattan, you would never know that close by buzzes the busiest city in the USA. Only NYU, literally in the middle of downtown Manhattan, genuinely feels like a New York University. The meandering walk I took around Manhattan, going from Wall Street, to Chinatown, to Little Italy, and then to Soho, illustrated how sharp the distinctions are between different areas of the city. The common thread that I have found wandering around London doesn’t exist in New York. Chinatown and Little Italy bear no resemblance to the financial district, despite the short distance between them.
Another thing to think about is the sheer size of New York. I think the mythical status of New York City abroad is actually just the mythical status of Manhattan. Whilst it would be long, it is possible to get a sense of most areas of central London on a single, lengthy walk. New York is five boroughs, four of which are, shock horror, not Manhattan. Queens, the Bronx, and Brooklyn, are basically small cities in themselves. It is all too easy to forget that New York City is not just Manhattan, and if you are a tourist with limited time, there is little reason to leave Manhattan, unless you really, really like baseball, and can’t work out how to get ESPN from amongst the gazillion channels.

Treating New York rather crudely as a microcosm of modern America, what I’ve learned is that American’s fetishise convenience and consumer choice. The things we Brits often mock them for is what many Americans love about their country.

I have been amused in the past by Chinese take-away menus, whereby every permutation of meat+sauce has its own entry, leading to a menu numbered Item 1 to Item 368; Chicken and black-bean sauce, chicken and peanut sauce, beef and black-bean sauce, beef and peanut sauce, etc. This ethos is very prevalent in New York. Nobody who has money doesn’t have the right to call the shots at the shops. Being illogically averse to lots of foods I have no real reason to dislike, I am often to be found asking if I can swap item x for item y on a restaurant menu, and subsequently, servers are often found to be rolling their eyes at me, or acting like I was asking a major favour, such as the donation of their kidney, as opposed to just asking for bacon instead of a sauteed kidney. My normally timorous voice when making such grave requests was unnecessary in America, as I was never made to feel like I was asking too much. Although tipping is a bigger thing over there, the difference in the quality of the service between the UK and the US is greater than the increased prevalence of tipping.

The other side of my claim is related to the admittedly ridiculous title I chose for this article. It’s not so much that you can get anything in New York; you can pretty much do that here. In New York, you can get anything, anywhere. My sister’s allergenically ill-fated quest to get pet rats lead to many a trip to Petco, a chain of pet stores to get, I swear to God, an item called the Rat Mansion, (although it was out of stock on Manhattan Island, and we settled for the Rat Manor). This niche item aside, these shops sold largely the same stuff. Within ten minutes journey from each other. Damn, I forget to get that thing from the place; its fine, we’ll just get it at the next place.

New York is less romantic but more functional as a city. It is, quite literally, a grid. One does not meander around Manhattan, one walks in a straight line, and makes 90 degree turns. Which are, let’s face it, more convenient. But much, much, much less fun.

 

Harry Redknapp: Misunderstood

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Kristian writes about how Harry Redknapp has overseen the decline of football clubs then jumped ship – http://www.cherwell.org/content/8249. Certainly, Harry left Pompey at a good time. The financial situation at the south-coast club is disastrous, and will, unless Gaydamak sells or prioritises the club over his other businesses, end up relegating the F.A cup holders. You simply cannot sell Lassana Diarra and hope Richard Hughes will fill his boots.

However, Kristian seems to skip over several large portions of Redknapps illustrious career. In recent years he had spent a lot of money at Portsmouth, but not without delivering the F.A cup, and several top ten finishes. He also, it is important to remember, brought them up from near the bottom of the second tier to the Premiership, playing attractive football, and scoring for fun. Mandaric helped, but how often have we seen teams scrap their way out of the Championship only to collapse in the Premiership (if not in their first season, then definitely in their second). Harry created a stable Premiership football club, who played attacking, pacey football. Every side, including the top four, did not enjoy visits to Fratton Park. It is also important not to forget the miraculous relegation survival when he rejoined the club from Southampton. It really did seem an impossible challenge. But title-winning form towards the back end of the season meant a poor Portsmouth side stayed up.

As for the pattern of financial instability that Redknapp has apparently left behind at clubs, people should not overestimate the role of the manager. It seems somewhat unlikely that Gaydamak, a Russian billionaire who made his money in the murky business world of Russia, and who has an arrest warrant from him in connection with illegal arms-dealing and tax evasion, would be forced into transfer dealings that could not be afforded by good old Harry Redknapp. Harry is a charming cockney, but not that charming.

The only criticism that does seem to stand against Harry, is that he does leave when the going gets tough. Portsmouth were in for a long hard season when he joined spurs, and he left Southampton half-way down the championship. Hopefully, it will never come to this at Spurs. And if he keeps making tactical and motivational decisions like he did on Tuesday against Burnley, then Harry should have a long, successful career in North London.

 

Clough’s Derby impress

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I’ll admit scoffing loudly when Adam Pearson described picking Nigel Clough as Derby manager as ‘definitely not a sentimental appointment.’ After all, Nigel’s father Brian was unambiguously Derby County’s greatest ever manager – winning their two top flight titles in 1971/72 and 1974/75.

So when Nigel Clough replaced Paul Jewell I presumed it was a weak sop to Derby fans, done for all the wrong reasons. But in the first game since the appointment – albeit with David Lowe managing from the dug out – they were fantastic.

They outran and outpassed a very strong Manchester United side – Vidić, Scholes, Anderson, Tévez and Nani all started, Ronaldo, Rooney and Carrick came on – and deserved at least their 1-0 win.

Derby are still back in eighteenth place, with just 29 points from 26 games. But if they keep on playing like this, and keep hold of Kris Commons and Giles Barnes, we could well see them back in the top flight before too long.

London Laughs

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Four stars

It’s weird seeing an Oxford Revue performance above a London pub: everything seems familiar but slightly different. The Bridge House’s green-painted bar and sign offering Pimm’s Winter Warmer make you feel like you’re in the KA (as does bumping into a string of friends you didn’t know were coming) and the theatre doesn’t feel too far removed from the Wheatsheaf, but outside are white-painted houses, a canal lock and a tube station.
The performances were good; those sketches I’d seen before seemed tightened up, with slightly more focused acting (a highlight being a magnificently creepy school caretaker uncomfortably similar to the one from my first school) and some very neatly judged music between and within sketches. And the material was excellent: agreeably surreal and often going off in surprising directions. A straw poll of the friends I was with suggested that they too enjoyed themselves.
A good evening out, then, but I have two reservations. At forty minutes the performance seemed uncomfortably short for a £6.50 ticket : if I hadn’t been told in advance I would have assumed that the end was an interval. Also, I would have welcomed more topical sketches: there’s a lot of interesting stuff going on in the world right now and it would have been nice to have had a few riffs on this. Even so, I enjoyed myself and this bodes well for performances in Hilary.

At The Canal Café Theatre, Delamere Terrace, at 19:30 until the 9th January.

 

-1st Week: Not the Future Music

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Every music website under the sun is stuffed with ‘Ones to Watch’ for the coming year. Some are great. You know about Florence and the Machine. Empire Of The Sun promise to fill your MGMT-shaped hole. The Big Pink are shoe-gaze-new-gaze goodness and Little Boots is that indie-girl pin up you’ve been sold for years, but better. Lots better.

On the other hand, some are tripe. And dripping. So, before we get back to the round of weekly singles (back in 0th week), I thought it best to warn you off a few potential mistakes.

The Virgins – NME, who really never learn, are drooling over this unintelligent and unprepossessing bunch who sing about cocaine brunches and rich girls in tortured teen drawls. Some cynical marketing exec. has clearly engineered this group by combining the very worst parts of The Kooks, RHCP and Jamiroquai…

White Lies – That bassline. That superhigh, singlenote synth. That voice. Those military stabs of guitar. Heard it before somewhere? Er, Grand National/Interpol/Killers/Editors/JoyfuckingDivision much?

The Soft Pack – the future voice of garage punk? Or just really, really mediocre and unoriginal?

The Chapman Family – OK, they may be the real thing, but the real thing takes itself laughably seriously for a band of such average talent. Hints of Kaiser Chiefs lurking too.

Red Light Company – Their myspace is beautiful, their songs are exultant, their production immense. Yet none of this can save the whining voice, the underlying lack of new ideas, or the uncomfortable closeness to the worst bombastic excesses of Brandon Flowers.

I predict success for all of them. Just don’t get embarrassed in twelve months’ time. Until next week…