Sunday 13th July 2025
Blog Page 2266

Happily Ever After…

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Dig out your fairy tales and dressing up boxes and let your imagination run wild with silks, sequins and props fit for a princess to make your loveliest dreams come true.

Photographers: Derek Tan and Daniel Rollé
Stylists: Kate Shouesmith, Xaria Cohen and Sam Bradley
Models: Roseanna Frascona, Miranda Gilbert and Eliza Preston

Dress by Coast £125

Cardigan by Zara £39, Scarf by Accessorize £12

Mask by Celebrations £4.99

Dress by Debenhams £50, Skirt (on as cape) Whistles £89

Dress by Monsoon at Bicester £35

 

Gay gay gay

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Gay gay gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Are you listening yet? Are you laughing so hard your ribcage is blasting itself into splinters over passers-by, like a mirthly nailbomb? No? I’ll repeat it. Gay, gay, gay.

 

In a poll taken of 500,000 twats last Wednesday, the word ‘gay’ was voted the funniest thing in all our pungent world.

If I sound bitter, it’s deserved. Next week I’m replaced by a duck, because they’ve taught it to type ‘gay’ for crumbs. Satire’s dead, they said. What people want these days is ‘gay’ in spangled spades. For my new job, I’m reluctantly redubbing Woody Allen’s Manhattan, with every third word as ‘gaylord’ (the other two: ‘you’re a’). Oh, and the Empire State building’s replaced by a whopping great pink cock. In tights. I wrote to Channel 4 with a show idea: I’d come on stage for two hours wearing a tiara, and a sandwich board with ‘GAY’ in foot-high letters. They said thanks, but no thanks. Wonderful idea, they replied, but Alan Carr already does that weekly. Maybe you could add a bra?

A friend leaves themselves logged into Facebook. Ten minutes later, everything about them is ‘gay’. Status: they like bumhole! They’ve founded the ‘I like bumhole’ society! They’ve invited us all to a ‘massive gay orgy’! Because gays like bumholes! And gay is funny, geddit?

I’m not in the business of indiscriminate insults, but sometimes I get angry. So here goes: if you do this, there is literally zero justification for your lives. This is not a joke. You are a walking argument for abortion – not just that, but for extending the time limits to, oh, thirty years? Forty?

Let me make my point now, so then I can berate you further. On a scale of comedy, ‘gay’ is as cutting-edge as a blunt dodo. Irony is no excuse. When you use it, what you’re saying is ‘I’m a gurgling, witless tosser with a pre-natal sense of humour’. I’d give both eyes for a GPS box-cum-suicide-belt that popped when these people entered the postcode. You probably think I’m still joking; I’m not. This column: no joke. Seeing them locked in a coffin full of bees, and cannoned into the sun? I’d laugh.

I’m all in favour of free speech, just like I’m in favour of the freedom to drive a car. But I’m not in favour of the freedom to drive cars into skipping schoolkids. By the same token, freedom of speech ends the moment it’s used by idiots. We need a new system, but IQ tests just won’t do it. So next week: the duck. Gay, gay. Gay, gay, gay. Gay. Laughing yet? Die the fuck off.

The power of 10: Liveblogging Pennsylvania

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02:49 – Popular vote | 42% in and it’s 55-45 Clinton. Lots of
discussion about the popular vote. Due to the way in which delegates
are distributed it is all but impossible for Hillary to catch up with
Obama in the delegate count and so catching up in the popular vote is
her only hope. The problem here is that there is some doubt over which
votes count. Michigan (where Obama wasn’t even on the ballot) and
Florida were both stripped of their delegates for moving their
primaries before February 5, but it is very much in Clinton’s interest
for these votes to count. One point that is worth bearing in mind is
that even if after tonight (and including those 2 heavily disputed
states) Clinton manages to move ahead in the popular vote it will still
be very difficult for her to stay there after the nine remaining
contests.


02:37 – Trust |
In a sign that the Bosnia scandal might have
hurt Senator Clinton more than has really been acknowledged, Fox has
some interesting data on the issue of trustworthiness. Just 56% of
voters polled in today’s primary believe that Clinton is trustworthy.
That’s against Obama’s figure of 68%. On the subject of recent attacks
Fox reports that the majority of Voters blame Clinton for ‘unfair
attacks’ and most of those voted for Obama – no data on that though.
Finally 25% of Democrats who voted for Clinton tonight don’t think she
will be the Democratic nominee. Just 5% of Obama’s supporters don’t
think he will succeed in Denver at the national convention. Hillary is
leading 55-45 with 31% of the vote in.


02:27 – Speeches |
There’s a bit of doubt at the moment as to
who will speak first this evening. Traditionally the loser goes first
but Obama is currently on a plane to Indiana which would make that a
little tricky. Hillary is reportedly scheduled to speak just before
10pm eastern (ie. in time for the evening news).


02:20 – Ending it |
How can Senator Obama win this? That’s the
question the analysts are currently pondering. According to one
Democrat analyst Obama should have been more negative in his attacks on
Hillary: I quote, he should have ‘taken a bat to her head.’ The
problem with negative attacks is that they push up the negatives of
both candidates. The bigger issue is whether this will matter in the
November. Will negative attacks now come back to haunt candidates
later? Essentially no-one is sure though the pundits are tending to
take the view that candidates shouldn’t be too worried about November
in terms of their negatives now.


02:09 – McCain |
According
to Fox News the McCain camp has released lashings of praise on Hillary
for her victory in Pa. Clearly Republicans are happy to see the
Democrats keep going at it, leaving McCain free reign to start his
general election campaign unscathed. There’s no doubt that the long
Democratic primary season has harmed both of the remaining candidates
with slides for both in polls against McCain in a general election
match-up. The recent negative tone of the attacks between the two
canndidates hasn’t helped matters either.

However, it is easy to
read too much into this. There’s no doubt that when the Democratic
Party finally picks a nominee he, or she, will recieve a bounce in the
polls. With the general election so far off at this point projected
match-ups against McCain have limited use and the real cost of this
prolonged nomination contest won’t be clear until general election
campaigning really gets going. For the moment however there is no doubt
that McCain is happy to let the two candidates attack each other.

With 10% of precinct results in Hillary leads 55-45.


02:04 – CNN |
In
a slightly amusing sidenote the rally for Hillary in Pa. has CNN on, a
network which hasn’t yet called the state for Clinton, and so there’s
no celebrating there yet.


01:56 – Tumbling numbers |
With 5% of the raw vote now in Hillary is now leading 53% – 47%. MSNBC have joined Fox News in calling Pa. for Clinton.

Over at Politico.com Ben Smith has posted
an early bit of spin from the Clinton campaign. They’re pushing the
suggestion that Barack should have delivered a knock-out blow given his
financial dominance and delegate lead, and the fact that he hasn’t is
an indication that he would struggle in November in the big states.
This is a line which Hillary surrogates are already pushing on the
cable networks and is something we’re likely to hear more of in the
next few weeks.


01:46 – Fox News calls |
Murdoch’s
network has called for Hillary. Of course it’s the margin that matters
so don’t go to bed just yet. Still less than 1% of the vote in so
the call is on the strength of exit poll numbers.


01:36 – Horse race |
Fox
have relucantly given their top line number – Hillary is leading by 6
points in their exit poll. But, they note, they are ‘very worried’
about the numbers and in the past Barack has done better in exit polls
than in the final numbers. If that’s the case it could be a good night
for Hillary. And finally some raw vote numbers: with less than 1% in
(literally about 2,000 votes) Hillary is winning 67% to 33% for Obama.


01:27 – Top line numbers |
In
an unusual move Fox News are refusing to release the top line numbers
from their exit polls claiming that it would be misleading to viewers.
They certainly have a point. Fox exit polls predicted a Barack victory
way back in New Hampshire and the network was left looking silly by the
end of the night. Drudge continues to report figures of 52-48 to
Clinton. Oh, and I should probably add that John McCain has won the
Republican primary. Of course, everyone else on the ballot dropped out
of the race over a month ago.


01:23
Finance | Still
no results so there’s time to consider one of the big factors that
Hillary will need to address in the next couple of weeks. Money. In the
last month Obama has spent $30m against Hillary’s $20m but the overview
is even worse for Clinton. Her campaign is $10m in debt while Obama has
a larger warchest for future weeks. If she’s going to keep going she’s
going to have to start bringing in more contributions, and fast.


01:12 – Montgomery County |
Bad
news if you were planning on heading to bed early. Officials have said
that Montgomery county, the third largest in the state, will not have
any results until 10 est. (aka. 3am). The networks are going round the
pundits at the moment churning over the exit polls without really
saying anything. Everyone’s waiting for the first results to come
through.


01:00 – Polls close |
Fox
has some early exit polls and things look really good for the New York
senator. Clinton is winning amongst seniors 2:1 ‘better than normal for
her.’ Clinton has won amongst Union households in a big way – 16 points
vs. the 5 point victory she normally manages. Obama has won 92% of the
black vote and 58% of the under-30s which isn’t as strong as he usually
manages. Obama has two-thirds of urban voters but is struggling with
independents: tonight they are split down the middle but Obama usually
dominates this category.


00:58 – Geography |
Fox
are listing the Obama strongholds. In the east of the county
Pennsylvania county is the big one. The size of turnout there will be
crucial in deciding how much of the vote he can claw back. Clinton will
be picking up big numbers in Pittsburgh in the west and in the rural
areas in the centre.


00:49 – Obama takes off
| 11
minutes till polls close (I’m holding out for some kind of dramatic
sweeping graphics from Fox at that point) and it’s time to answer the
first reader question of the night. Tom asks whether the fact that
Obama has already left Pa. for Indiana signifies that Obama has lost by
more than he expected. That seems unlikely – polls are too confused and
contrasting at this stage for him to really know and it’s simply an
established tradition for candidates to leave a state before polls
close if they know they’re going to lose. The big question tonight
remains how big Hillary’s victory will be. The big question for the
remainder of the nomination period is Indiana but more on that later.

If you’ve got a
question, a comment on the recent wave of attack ads or just feel like
musing on the returns be sure to comment in the box below.


00:45 – Exits |
Drudge
has Hillary 52-48 which would be pretty catastrophic for the Clinton
camp but don’t go to bed just yet. Drudge doesn’t provide any raw data
and exit polls haven’t been great at predicting much of anything thus
far.

On another note, whilst
analysts are talking about Hillary being in trouble if she wins by
fewer than ten points her camp has already sworn to carry on. They have
however admitted that she needs to win Indiana in two weeks time.


00:38 – Game time |
Fox
News have rebranded their ticker for tonight’s fun and games. As I join
them the discussion is focused around Hillary’s comment on Iran. On a
talkshow earlier today Clinton said that (and I’m paraphrasing here)
‘if Iran is foolish enough to attack Israel we will obliterate them.’

Meanwhile exit polls are up on the Drudge Report but there are many floating around with wildly different results.


19:20 –
It’s
been a while but here we are at yet another primary day in the race for
the Democratic nomination – make that the 18th day at the polls to be
precise.

Some 77 days after
Super Tuesday we still find ourselves without a Democratic nominee and
tonight could change that. Pennsylvania’s 188 delegates make up the
largest number held by any of the remaining states and given the
demographics if Hillary fails to win here its game over for the New
York senator. The polls
however suggest this is unlikely – Hillary is anything from 5 to 10
points clear at the moment. The key figure, most commentators seem to
agree, is 10. This is the margin Hillary won be in demographically
similar Ohio on March 4th and if she doesn’t win by this much again
Obama can claim to have fought back in an area which should be prime
Clinton territory. A few weeks ago Senator Obama was 16 points back and
with the notorious unreliability of polling in this election cycle
anything could happen.

Results from Pennsylvania will be in shortly after 1am when polls close and I’ll be back then with all the action.

In the meantime why not post your predictions below and here are some links to tide you over:

One enterprising YouTuber has mashed together debate footage and the Sarah Silverman spoof ‘I’m f-ing Matt Damon’ to create ‘I’m f-ing Obama’

Hillary Clinton has dropped Osama bin Laden into a newly released advert, leading to accusations of fear-mongering:

Hillary’s been in more trouble just this morning by threatening to ‘obliterate’ Iran.

The Guardian cartoonists have had some fun at the candidates’ expense.

And even though the Republican race was settled weeks ago John McCain has been doing his best to keep in the headlines. Today’s New York Times gives
him a headline, but perhaps not the kind he was hoping for. The article
alleges that McCain used his office to help a friend – a wealthy real
estate developer: A Developer, His Deals, and His Ties to McCain

Neighbourhood Watch: DFO

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It’s lunchtime after Wadham’s first bop of Trinity and to be honest we’re all feeling worse for wear, but that doesn’t dampen the enthusiasm Dot’s Funk Odyssey’s leading lights, Michael and Penny, have for their music.

So, who are DFO? ‘We were only founded four years ago just for Wadstock’ explains Michael before moving on to lay out the line-up of this remarkable outfit. This year the band is made up of a massive 15 members and has in the past comprised no fewer than 19. ‘We got banned last year,’ laughs Michael, ‘too much noise! We were probably Oxford’s only undercover funk band.’

So what do they actually play? “Well, we’re a covers band” explains Penny. “It’s all about the fun.” Michael wholeheartedly agrees. “Yeah; we’re all about playing music people can dance to. As you can imagine, most of our musicians are in other bands of their own so this is a chance to get together and let off some steam.”

Don’t let this make you think that DFO are naught but a lazy bunch of copycats; wander past the basement of Wadham’s JCR on a Monday evening and your ears will be hit with an astoundingly arranged set of covers ranging from Amy Winehouse to James Brown. There are some things however, that they will never do. “If it were up to one of our members, we’d play nothing but Justin Timberlake covers.” Tempted? “Never.”’ Michael firmly replies.

So what of this year’s festival? Anything special planned for their own set? “We’ve got a few surprises up our sleeves,” muses Penny evasively. Don’t miss it.

Stock up on Wadstock

It’s Trinity. But forget punting and Pimms. Instead, picture this: a thousand students lounged on the grass, the sweet melodious sound of some edgy indie band floating across the summer breeze. Its forty years on, but the revolutionary fervour of ‘68 is still in the air.

This isn’t Woodstock; this is Wadstock. After last year’s mosh-pit fuelled fest, Wadstock 2008 promises to be as big as ever – and with a new and exciting line-up, the festival hopes to pull a huge crowd. Expect some of the biggest names from the Oxford indie scene, some of whom are not to be missed.

This year boasts a fully-loaded, twelve-hour stellar set; be sure to get there early so as not to miss Open to Alliances at noon. The two-piece, featuring Wadham’s Jack Flaherty (and his mate from home, who goes by the name of ‘Winks’), are sure to impress the early crowd with their awesome ‘folktronica’ – showcasing the twosome’s superb musicality and Flaherty’s excellent vocals.

Sitting fourth on the bill are four-piece Inlight, perfectly placed on the sunset slot with their beautiful, soaring, accomplished melodies, sure to stretch the sonic capabilities of the speaker system. Expect kissing couples and swaying hands to be washed over by lead singer Charlie Cooke’s powerful towering vocals for one final calm, chilled moment of the day.

Then it’s time to hold onto your picnic rugs for Figment, a band described by Venue magazine as, “The best bits of the Stones, the Stripes and the Stooges…stunning.” For once this is no exaggeration. It’s frantic, edgy, punky rock; you’d need to be earless to genuinely dislike them. It’s big, it’s brash, it’s indisputably tuneful, and if it fails to whip the audience into a mental crowd-surfing frenzy we’ll chew our own arms off.

Completing the whistle stop tour of the local indie scene are the Glitches, the first student band to get a headline slot at the Carling Academy, freshly signed to Hubris records, and ready to rock the socks off Wadstock with their jerky, foot stomping indie. Be sure to reserve whatever energy Figment have left you to dance like a maniac on a pogo stick to the driving bass of the enormous Ben Maling and the frantic, buzzing riffs of Michael O’Neill.

Along with this, take regular summertime favourites such as the Oxford Belles and the headliners DFO, add candy floss, a BBQ and a pretty cool cocktail bar, and you could well see the highlight of your Trinity at the end of first week. So bring along your deckchair and sunglasses, and let’s pray the weather can match the line-up.

If you don’t have a ticket, you’re probably not worth knowing. We’re going to be there. But then, we are Wadhamites.

PCSOs on the beat

 

Police community support officers have begun to patrol Oxford University in an attempt to crack down on rowdy student behaviour.

Four new PCSOs spent their first day on the beat yesterday; they can enter colleges if they are invited to do so.

PC Martin Wizard stated that this was a Thames Valley initiative. He
said, "We are working closely with the university security. We will be
predominantly patrolling the centre of Oxford but will also be
patrolling the university parks."

"The point is to provide a visible police presence to reassure both residents and students."

Wizard said that students were generally well behaved but that around exams they tended to be a bit "excessive".

He continued, "Students can be a bit high-spirited at this time of year
and so the point of the PCSOs is to calm them down and prevent anything
dangerous from happening."

Chairman of the Domestic Bursars’ Committee, Elizabeth Crawford, said:
‘Any initiative that aims to improve the safety of students and staff
and supports security, in both the Colleges and the University, is
wholly welcome.’

Oxford University Spokesperson Maria Coyle was keen to stress that
PCSOs will not enter colleges unless given permission to do so as the
colleges will remain private property.

If the PCSOs are invited in by the colleges then they can issue fines or even arrest students for bad behaviour.

And they’re off…

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It’s that time of year again: the annual scramble to see who Rupert and his cronies will pick to be one of the chosen Murdoch scholars (PDF).

The scheme has an illustrious set of alumni. Well, not really, but a few of the recent scholars are in pretty decent meedjya jobs these days.

Last year saw four Cherwellites, two OxStuds, one from someting called Oxide (?) and some randomer that no one knew head off to Wapping, but in previous years it’s been weighted in the OxStu’s favour. They tend to only pick newsy types, and those with lashings of work experience, but anyone with a hanful of decent news cuts is in with a good chance. Maybe the wide-eyed young hopefuls would like to send Saint Aldate their CVs so we can sort out some odds: [email protected]

So the question is, who’s going for it this year? All the current editors (Kenber, Cox Jensen and Kuchler) are having a go. So’s Lolhouse, who spends so much time on the OxStu front page that he’s applied for citizenship. Maybe Cal Flyn is having a whack? Cherwell dog of old James Rogers was spotted at the pre-application talk last term.

Who else is in the running? In the words of the Stu, tell us what you know.  Except we won’t make it up if you don’t.

Colleges hit out at council

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All Souls and University Colleges, and Steve Howell, Head of Transport for
Oxfordshire County Council, have publicly taken swipes at each other over the
issue of signage and buses on Oxford’s High Street.

News that the Council wished to site more bus stops on the High Street,
including one possibly in front of All Souls main gateway, has prompted a
scathing attack on the Council’s "vandalism" of the street, with All Souls
bursar Thomas Seaman deriding the Council as being more concerned with bus
passengers than they are with the environment or those organisations situated
on the High Street. The Warden of All Souls, Dr. John Davis also expressed
concern over the pollution control monitor at the front of the college, that he
says the Council said was only temporary.

Howell’s reply cites the improvement in paving and road surfaces, and a claimed
de-cluttering of signage as evidence of the Council’s commitment to the welfare
of the High Street, and cites the reduction in Government funding as a reason
for the slow progress of improvements to the central part of the street. He has
also called on those opposed to the plans to offer more constructive feedback.

Union may cancel Langham talk

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Oxford Union President Ben Tansey

 

Oxford Union president Ben Tansey might cancel the debating society’s invitation to disgraced television actor Chris Langham following adverse publicity.

"I have literally spoken to about a hundred people to gauge their thoughts on Chris Langham speaking at the Union and am seriously thinking about cancelling the invite," said Tansey. "I’ll reach a decision by the end of today."

The Oxford Union invited Chris Langham, the BAFTA-winning comedy actor who had been jailed for downloading child pornography, to come to Frewin Court on May 29, to talk about his "vilification" in the media.

The actor, best known for his award-winning performances in BBC Four comedy The Thick of It was jailed for 10 months at Maidstone Crown Court last September after being convicted of 15 counts of downloading images of children.

Leading child protection charity Kidscape criticised the Union through the national press, calling the invitation a "publicity stunt" and "very disappointing."

Tansey said he has been receiving been both congratulation and condemnation for the invite.  Some have accused him of providing Langham platform to "justify his crimes," with others, while acknowledging the need for such a debate, concerned about the message the invitation was going to send.

Founder of Kidscape Michele Elliot told BBC News, "We are not calling for Chris Langham to be banned, because we believe in free speech, but we are very disappointed the Union has invited someone with this type of conviction."

The Union President said Chris Langham was invited not for publicity but genuine debate.  He explained it will be more a question of the judicial system and how the debating society feels about it.

"At what point do we turn around and say [to criminals who have served their time], ‘Yes, you are member of society again’?…The debate itself and the reasons for the invite are valid and I think people do recognise that."

But Tansey says he is worried about the message this debate might send to victims of child abuse.

"Having looked at Luke [Tryl]’s term in Michaelmas, we have learned that not all PR is good PR. We obviously did think about the message this invitation was going to send and I’m having to rethink our reasons for inviting him," he said. "The committee has worked very hard for an exciting term and I don’t want this to take over the term."

Chris Langham could not be reached for comment and his agent had refused to comment on the matter.

 


See also:

VIDEO: Protests against Union’s free speech forum in Michaelmas

VIDEO: Luke Tryl speaks about free speech forum

Fashion shootout

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While this saint wishes no animosity between our esteemed University and lesser other institutions, is the OXFORD Student not pushing its luck slightly with this week’s photoshoot?

 

It’s just that the photographer seems to be at Bristol , while one of the models goes to Loughborough.

 

(We know, we know, it’s all about the fashion darling.)