by Paul Rainford – Blues football CaptainThe situation is no longer quite so simple. The 1-1 draw against Nottingham on Wednesday, in conjunction with Worcester University’s victory against Warwick, ensures that Worcester are now in pole position, requiring only a victory next week against bottom of the table Northampton to be crowned BUSA midlands champions. In isolation the result on Wednesday was highly creditable and once again we displayed an abundance of sprit and dedication that will doubtlessly pay dividends in the long run. Nottingham are a very well organised outfit, with no shortage of technical ability or physical presence. However in terms of the wider picture, and our BUSA league campaign in particular, this was undoubtedly a set back as it now means that we are reliant on favourable results elsewhere if we are to climb back to the top of the league. And yet I am compelled to emphasise the fact that we have fought too hard and for too long to simply concede defeat here and now; Worcester will find that there are different pressures to deal with when you are the team being chased, rather than the team doing the chasing and it will be interesting to see how they adapt, especially in the knowledge that their final game of the season will be against us at Iffley Road. The game against Nottingham was quite a strange affair in itself. Suspicions were raised when the match was moved from the traditional first team pitch to the undoubtedly inferior second team facilities. I have a strong conviction that this was a deliberate ploy to stunt our superior passing game and favour the deployment of overtly physical and direct tactics. One of the greatest obstacles that we, as an Oxford University representative side, have to overcome is the perception that we are in some way soft and can be intimidated and bullied into submission. It is true that we (fortunately) lack some of the nastier and more ungentlemanly tendencies of some of our opponents but we certainly possess more than enough physicality to compete with all opponents under all conditions. Such was the case against Nottingham and we took an early lead when Alex Toogood expertly placed a header into the far corner of the goal with less than twenty minutes gone. This was a lead that we held until the final ten minutes of the match when, after failing to clear the ball from a wide position, a Nottingham midfielder broke free into our box and placed a low drive just out of Nik Baker’s reach into the right hand corner of the goal. It was a bitter blow coming so late on in the game but in truth we should have been coasting by this stage, having missed several glorious chances to increase our lead and destroy any Nottingham hopes of a comeback. The lack of sharpness and the break up in momentum caused by the enforced break over Christmas certainly hindered certain aspects of our play but we shouldn’t seek to make any excuses and we must work harder to raise our level of quality if we are to keep up the pressure on Worcester next week.

Oxford University Swimming Club has just returned from a fantastic training camp in Lignano, which we hope will be a precursor to victory in the Hilary varsity competition. In 2008 we have relocated our training camp to a purpose-built training village in Italy, which incorporated an Olympic sized swimming pool for intensive long course training, a 25 metre pool for short course sprint work, and a state of the art multi-gym and sports hall complex. Swimmers took part in four hours of intensive coached pool training each day, combined with plyometrics, flexibility, and team building exercises, in preparation for what promises to be the most closely fought Varsity Match of the last decade. Many returning swimmers commented on the excellent facilities, which are unrivalled anywhere in England. The pool, which was ten lanes wide, fifty metres long, and built for the 2006 European Youth Championships, was outstanding. We were delighted to have all ten lanes to ourselves on a number of occasions, and when we shared the pool it was with the likes of the Ukrainian national swimming team, the Spanish water polo team, and the Italian synchronised swimming team. Being surrounded by international sportsmen and women certainly spurred the squad on, especially through those gruelling midweek sets when exhaustion had already set in, but the end of the camp was not yet in sight. An afternoon spent in Venice at the halfway point provided a welcome few hours of recovery and, having visited St. Mark’s Square, the Bridge of Sighs, and the Doge’s Palace, we returned to the pool refreshed and ready for more hard training. As usual, training camp was a great success, even more so this year for its superb new location. The squad has returned feeling leaner, meaner, and faster, and ready to take on the Tabs in the forthcoming Varsity Match.by Lorna Wellings

After a disappointing 1-0 loss to Oxford Hawks, Oxford were looking to get back to the form they had showed before Christmas with a trip to Lewes. Missing Richard Bond to injury and with concerns over the fitness of Harry Slater, there were concerns that the Blues might lack some creativity goingforward. This was not to be, however, and, on a perfect playing surface, Oxford quickly seized the initiative. Captain Dave Cresswell had allowed a couple of early opportunities to go begging when he buried his third flick in the bottomleft-hand corner to put his side ahead. The lead was soon doubled, with Cresswell claiming a second from a corner, and, with the defence playing the ball around wall at the back and the front line working tirelessly, openings in the Lewes defence were frequently exploited. Tom Lockton claimed a third and,with the Blues looking strong, a further short corner set-up Cresswell whoflicked hard and high into the net to complete his hattrick with the goal of the day. A mix-up between defenders Chris Sibley and Charlie Duffell saw a corner conceded from which Lewes eventually forced home but the loss of their clean sheet never troubled Oxford and, going in at halftime 4-1 ahead they resolved to experiment in the latter period; going to three at the back with a high attacking man. This created problems defensively but did not prevent the Blues from picking up where they had left off in attack; Martin Pickup claimingtheir fifth from open play. The thinness of the Blues’ defence then told, allowing Lewes to claim a second, but the result was never in doubt and Cresswell claimed a further two goals before the close, bringing his personal tally to five, and securing a fine 7-2 victory for the team.by James Moubray

St Edmund Hall 5 – 0 BrasenoseBrasenose and Teddy Hall lined up on Uni Parks for this Premier League encounter each with something to prove: Brasenose were hoping that a their collection of talented players could reward them with a first win in ten games, and Hall looked to continue their remarkable resurgence and potentially challenge Worcester for the Premier League crown. Both teams’ desire was marked by gritty tackles in the opening exchanges, but it was Brasenose that signalled their intent early on. Driven by a strong midfield and the skill of Elliot-Kelly and de Haes in attack, they dominated possession, and Teddy Hall were reduced to playing counterattack football. De Haes was kept out by a smart save from Ielpo, looking for his third consecutive clean sheet, and Brasenose almost bundled in from the resulting corner as Hall endured a period of nervy moments in the box. Gradually, however, Hall began to demonstrate the kind of fast-passed passing football that has propelled them to the quarterfinals of Cuppers and within realistic reach of the league leaders. As Brasenose became increasingly frustrated at a series of poor final balls, the likes of Hall’s Tim Hoffman and Charlie ‘birthday boy’ Talbot- Smith began to control proceedings. This increasing pressure soon paid off. After Jack Furniss had gone close after good work by Ed Morse, Talbot- Smith released a through ball that left the Brasenose back line staring in wonder as Wilf Frost finished the move, his angled shot was as ice cool as his name would suggest. Hall, based on an everreliable back five, continued to press hard for a second, with the left side – Morse, Talbot-Smith and the impressive Jack Furniss – particularly dangerous as Brasenose’s defensive frailties began to be exposed by the powerful running of Hall’s attacking players. Chances came and went, with Max Clarfelt and Carl Jones going close. Indeed, for all their attacking purpose, such was Brasenose’s lack of defense that there were strong words at half-time and this, together with a few typically eloquent words from Frost, was perhaps the jab in the ribs Hall needed. Certainly, the second half treated the spectators to a brand of inspired football that would make Steve McLaren blush. After a period of pressure of Brasenose pressure where Hall captain Johnny Waldron had to be at his most alert to clear of the line and Ielpo made good use of his considerable stature to pull of a stunning reflex save from de Haes, Hall capitalised on the growing sense of despondency of their opponents and began to cut through the Brasenose defence at will. Hoffman went close on several occasions while Frost and Talbot-Smith were both denied by a very stubborn left post, but they did not have to wait long to celebrate – Talbot-Smith gifted the perfect birthday present, heading in after a defensive mix-up, and Frost’s cross-shot being turned in by a defender as a striker hovered menacingly behind him. Frost capped a formidable performance with two fine finishes – a crisp volley and a header from Jones’s pinpoint cross – to notch up his hattrick and bring his season’s tally to 11 goals in 10 games. This impressive win, surely the best of the season for the Hall and one that leaves Brasenose fighting the everincreasing threat of relegation, will certainly leave Worcester peering over their shoulders as their rival’s challenge gathers momentum. As Talbot- Smith collected his man-of-the match accolade, Waldron was left musing on his side’s prospects for the rest of the season.by Edward Halliday

Health Survey by Caroline Crampton
Last term, Cherwell reported the results of a study into eating disorders amongst Oxford students, and quite frankly, the results were very concerning. 30 per cent of students admitted to having an eating disorder at some point during their time at university, and worse, 40 per cent of sufferers said that life at Oxford had definitely been a contributing factor to their illness. We decided to take this statistic further, and conduct an investigation into the overall impact of an Oxford lifestyle on our health. The findings were staggering in every possible way: we drink too much, smoke too much and take drugs far more than is advisable. We don’t exercise, don’t eat fruit and consider regular, wholesome meals a hindrance to our hectic schedules, rather than an essential part of life. But much more importantly, most of us do all of this in the full knowledge that it is unhealthy – for example, over 50 per cent of participants in the survey said that they were aware of the government guidelines for alcohol consumption, but choose to drink far more than is recommended anyway.It is crucial to note this; we can wring our hands as much as we like, but there is no getting away from the fact that excess is fun, and to take these results too seriously is to completely misunderstand the way in which Oxford functions. To deplore our actions as misguided or misinformed is patronising and condescending – generally, university welfare provision is more than adequate, and students are kept fully informed of the consequences of their actions. Obviously, eating disorders and similar are no laughing matter, but the fundamental truth for the majority of students is that eating and drinking too much is enjoyable, and sleep deprivation is the natural consequence of trying to do an Oxford degree and have a social life at the same time. While these statistics do throw up some worrying (if unsurprising) trends, I believe that it is our attitude to them that is more interesting. As long as we still consider that we have a choice as to how we conduct our lives, there can be no culprit for our health issues other than our own actions. It is only when academic pressure or adverse circumstances beyond our control start to intrude as causes that there is real cause for concern – the rest of the time I implore you to keep a level head, laugh at our general idiocy and appreciate the brightly coloured graphs. What this issue needs, and in fact Oxford itself needs more than anything when looking at itself, is a sense of humour.
 
WEIGHT LOSS: One student feels that the pressure of Oxford drives him to shed weightBeing a boy in a single-sex school, my weight problems were a solitary struggle. Mentioning the word ‘diet’ (even in reference to Coke) raised, at best, an ‘aren’t you kooky’ smirk. By Upper Sixth, I lost my 16lbs of excess weight in the run up to my A-Levels. Now, surely, the daily use of the scales, unconscious calorie-counting and binge/starvation rituals could stop.

Then I came to Oxford. I fitted into this army of bean-poles, which I would not have done one year previously. With this sort of pressure, I had to make sure I maintained my weight. Hearing that students either gain or lose five pounds in their first term, I was determined to be in the latter camp. I reverted to the techniques of my adolescence, eating only one large meal a day in Hall. The social life and hectic work schedule I built around myself in my first year meant that the smoking habit I had when I first came up became a 20-a-day habit which helped to suppress hunger. All-nighters worked my body even harder on less calories and I dropped almost a stone, putting my BMI at the lower end of normal weight.

Living out this year has put me firmly into the underweight category, I see cooking as a distraction that will help with nothing but making me fat. On average I eat about 800-1000 calories a day, significantly below my recommended 2500. My normal pattern includes waking up, drinking Diet Coke to make my stomach feel full, smoking at lunchtime, then waiting until 6 or 7pm before eating a smallish meal. My friends have expressed concern about my weight loss and intellectually I can understand. But emotionally I don’t care. Eating any more will make me fat, unattractive and incapable. Right now, I have only eaten a quarter of an aubergine in the past 24 hours – a good day. Tomorrow, I have promised to meet a friend for lunch and am cooking with one of my housemates: that’s two meals so I will have to compensate for them in the coming week. I must stress I am not an anorexic; I still enjoy eating food and am not trying to lose any more weight. In reality, food is a threatening presence in my life which has to be carefully accounted for and managed so that I do not let my weight get out of control.

Control is, I believe, the linking factor between my unhealthy eating and Oxford. Whilst vanity is certainly a part of my fear around gaining weight, the slim culture of Oxford has not peer-pressured me into my current eating habits. One of my sharper-tongued friends remarked ‘people in Oxford are motivated and fat people are lazy.’ In an environment where one is no longer the best academically, as at school, able to last longest in the library or constantly keep ahead of work, eating is a means of control, body-image is a supplement for one’s academic pressures and insecurities.

Obesity is prevalent in a lower socio-economic stratum than the one most people at Oxford come from, so fat is an immediate marker of difference from others in Oxford which signifies that, maybe, you don’t really belong here. If you can control your food you are seemingly managing your life and therefore have the idealised ‘driven’ mentality that is integral to success.

For me, skipping a meal makes up for a shoddy essay. Whilst Oxford is not the cause of my issues with food, it has been an environment which has fostered their development by means of its academically competitive hierarchy and constant pressures.
 
Cerys Oakes on dealing with OCD at OxfordI have suffered with OCD since I was ten years old, when I developed complex, lengthy hand-washing routines. These rituals were designed to prevent any germs from ‘infecting’ those around me – something I believed was a very real danger. My OCD changes form every two years or so, and I spent my teenage years suffering with one form or another of the condition. During my A-levels I suffered with Tourette’s Syndrome, which is related to OCD and is characterised by repeated movements or sounds, or ‘tics’; in my case the compulsion to blink repeatedly and trouble with swallowing and breathing. This made it difficult for me to read and affected my studies. My friends had noticed and were supportive, but the condition can be difficult for non-sufferers to understand.

Now in my second year here, I am currently suffering with a type of Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder called pure obsessional, or pure ‘O’. Pure ‘O’ involves the same intrusive thoughts or mental rituals, but there are no outward behavioural routines. Suffering with pure ‘O’, as opposed to the form of OCD with behavioural compulsions, has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, you can’t tell I have OCD to look at me, and so I am no longer self-conscious. However, it also means that it is much harder for people to understand my OCD, and to convince people that I really do have a condition and am not just seeking attention. My OCD becomes particularly bad when I am feeling stressed or anxious, and consequently my mum was really concerned about the impact on my health of coming to Oxford. While here I have found it difficult coping: when I’m suffering the obsessions kind of ‘cloud’ my mind and I find it really difficult to concentrate on anything else. I find exams particularly difficult because I panic at the large numbers of people and my OCD can go into overload and I really struggle to focus on what I am doing. Sometimes juggling a hectic social life, extra-curricular activities, my degree and OCD can leave me drained and vulnerable to depression. My friends at Oxford have been really good, but I wish there were a university support group I could join. However, while OCD- like an unwelcome relative- often manifests itself at the least opportune times, I have been determined never to let it affect me achieving my goals and I hope that it never does.
 
Roland Singer-Kingsmith has an epiphany at the gymI have always defended my Aristotelian belief that the body is only the medium through which the soul travels and that it is the ignorant man who regards the physical body as the Self. An opinion hardly conducive to three sets of twenty reps of bicep curls. I’m also heartily opposed to running without destination, floor to ceiling vanity mirrors, ball-shrinking muscles on display and the anorexic girl at the front desk.

So last week, for the first time in my life, I joined the LA Fitness just around the corner from Pembroke.
To those artistes who think that breaking a sweat doing anything other than making (Romantic) love à la Byron is utterly vulgar, I’d like to say, I am with you all the way. Theoretically. In practice a Gap year, foreign cigarettes and Sainsbury’s basics have ravaged my body. By contrast, the majority of my fellow Pembrokians are healthier than is decent and leave the average student looking like Jabba the Hut.

I wasn’t peer pressured into signing up to my idea of hell per se, but it’s true that, of my five closest Oxford friends, all are avid anti-smokers, two are blues players, two Pembroke rowers and one has the biggest guns in college. Compare this with my five closest friends back home in Brighton who would only be found near a gym if the pub they were in didn’t have a smoking area and the bus stop across the road just happened to be outside an Esporta.

On my first trip I noticed that, despite housing the fittest of both sexes and having more hormones buzzing than calories being burned, the gyme is a castratingly sterile place. What I thought of as an ideal location for coquetry turns out to be a completely un-social environment. It is probably the only venue in town where legions of panting women, bobbing up and down, are not chatted up by a similar number of heaving, hulking blokes. Everybody is just too busy looking at themselves.

However the undeniable truth is that, behind the Narcissistic self-consciousness, the gym’s clientele are doing themselves a huge amount of good. The good for me personally is twofold: my curse that I believe I could always do better means I exercise efficiently, and I am addicted to the feeling afterwards. I am no scientist of endorphins but man it’s good shit. And it makes me as productive after lunch and into the evening as I am in the morning. In fact, I’ve started to think that I may not write as good an essay, or concentrate as well in a tutorial, or be so convivial at dinner if I haven’t been to the gym.

Take this Damascene moment on the treadmill: I had been running at increased gradient at about 6km/hr for about 15mins (it’s not that geeky, I just remember the machine display). Up on the big screens in front of me was Sky sports, Eastenders and Ferry Corsten’s new track, none of which was particularly inspirational. I looked down to see that I only had five minutes more to go and realised that the day before I had been really struggling at this point. I was then overcome by this sudden swell, not of energy but (brace yourselves) of passion.

It was an incredible sensation. I felt an unexpected surge; the same accelerated heartbeat I get from hearing Henry V’s ‘band of brothers’ speech, the same prick behind the eyes I get every time I re-read the ‘Kite Runner’. But this was just 15 minutes on a treadmill. Talk about a quick fix.

That was when it all made sense; I understood why so many people at Oxford go to those places and why they go so often. It’s about receiving physical reward for mental determination. I had experienced my first gym high, soul and body momentarily united. I’ll only have to push that little bit harder for my next one.

Defeated, but not disheartened, the Blues Lacrosse team returned home from Cambridge with only one thing on their minds: vengeance at Varsity. After a friendly match against Loughborough was washed out the previous week, the Blues hadn’t yet managed to step foot on the pitch in 2008, with practices moved from the waterlogged pitches to the athletics track seriously impeding preparations. With a 10-1 defeat to their Varsity rivals in the Parks last term, the away match looked a tough prospect. From the first whistle both teams showed hunger for the ball, but it was the Light Blue aggression that paid off. The ball was turned over and a quick succession of tidy passes saw the ball in the back of the Oxford goal. Not to be intimidated, however, the Dark Blue attacks responded quickly and Oli Valner beat her defender in a one-on-one, darting into the fan to slot the ball past Cambridge’s imposing goalkeeper. However, after this quick retaliation Oxford struggled to maintain pressure and some sloppy marking resulted in soft goals for the home team. With key players able to convert even an inch of free room into a swift goal, Cambridge only needed to hold a solid defence and move the ball quickly to keep the visitors out of the game – which they did. Despite committed defence from Rosie Price and determined man-on-man marking by Claire Strauss, the Oxford goal was peppered with shots. After a time-out was called, the Dark Blues attacked the centre draw more decisively, but each time an attack looked promising, the ball was turned over. At half-time the Blues had a significant deficit to pull back, with the score at 7-1. In the second half, captain and goalkeeper Els Sobczyk was showered with yet more shots from Cambridge. Despite the hard work done by Emma Readman and Alex Carruthers to bring the ball up into the midfield, the Light Blues were vigilant in defence, and continued to convert opportunities. Doing all she could to lead from the back, the scoreline would surely have resulted in a far wider margin had Sobczyk not stood up to the occasion as she did. Leah Templeman also shone, working hard at both ends of the pitch and managing to place a second shot in the Cambridge goal. The last quarter of the match saw the same mistakes and faltering play that Oxford had shown in the first half. Despite competing hard on all around the pitch, each attack ended with Cambridge in possession. When Cambridge bizarrely called a time-out with a 15-2 lead and just one minute left to play, the 16 girls in dark blue did not need a team talk to realise that serious work would need to be done before the Varsity match in 7th week. But, with absolutely nothing more to be lost it was in the final minute of the match that a glimmer of hope tentatively shone on Oxford’s horizon. After refusing to accept passive defeat, Sobczyk rallied the team and urged a final burst of energy to prove a point. Though irrelevant in the context of the game, when the attacks cut through the fan, allowing Valner to charge past her defender and score the final goal of the match, the Dark Blues had proved to themselves that giving up was not an option. With the cumulative score from the two BUSA matches reaching 25-4 to Cambridge, the Oxford Lacrosse girls will undoubtedly need to pull out all stops in training in the next five weeks to ensure that the crowds at Varsity will have something to cheer for.by Stephanie Hardwick

See pictures here!Hertford…
…or Teddy Hall?

Stress, pressure, frenzy – who needs them? It’s time that Oxford entered the hippy-happy chillout zone…man. So grow out your beard, put on your ‘righteous rags’, hop on your Harley D and follow me. For too long in Oxford the words ‘exams’, ‘collections’, and even that most bloodcurdling of ‘f’ words, ‘finals’ have loomed large and terrifying in our vocabulary. Silent libraries, wrinkle-inducing pages of unread books, and the books themselves, sadistically smirking up at you in the darkness, have all played their part in producing the Climate of Terror. Bring on the revolution. If Oxford entered ‘The Zone’, there could be an end to all this, as ‘chillaxation’ would become the guiding principle of a Bohemian Renaissance. Herbal tea would be handed out on Cornmarket and Broad Street, and as you entered the Bodleian, faint jazz would welcome you to your seat, or perhaps a Beatles ballad, while an automatic back massager slipped into gear. A new oxcabulary would of course be necessary; uninvitingly titled ‘problem sheets’ would become ‘sheets of benefit and self-development’ while the equally galling ‘Exam Schools’ would become the ‘pad of liberal expressionism.’ Tutorials would be replaced by ‘knowledge sharing’ and ‘gatherings for introspection’ in the University Parks. And should the birds, fresh air and space be insufficient to summon one’s inner vibe, hippie lettuce would be readily available to aid one in that crucial quest for inner light and the beauty of being. When philosophical self-discovery finally got too much, one could simply slip from the ceaseless reality of the natural world into a blissful unconsciousness.To best promote the new harmony it would be necessary to eradicate social distinctions and barriers. Individual colleges would therefore be replaced by brotherhoods living in large communes. Since another important element in this philosophy of calm would be getting in touch with nature, communes would lay emphasis on ‘going back to the land’ with brotherhoods trained in the art of digging and vegetable growing. Shared boathouses would become shared greenhouses and inkpens would be more fondly replaced with the shovel and spade. Oxford would pioneer the Organic Revolution. And men would walk barefoot to town so as to attune them to their natural surroundings and remind them of their birth from the flower of nature.Standards of dress and grooming would also have to be tailored to reflect the new liberties. Suppressed Oxford students who had formerly been confined to using the bop as their only opportunity for self expression, under the pretext of fancy dress, could now prance unrestrained in psychedelic bell bottoms and tie-dye. No longer would the male yearning for long-beaded necklaces and long hair need to be explained away with: ‘I had a gap year.’But of course we would never condescend to call ourselves mere hippies, as that would suggest turning the Oxford clocks back rather than forward. For ours would be a New Knowledge. We would instead be living the post-post modernist dream, man: the ironical approach to the Twenty First century.

by Katherine Dreyfus