3/51 February What I like about Penelope is the one-eyed midget. It’s a mark of the film’s charm, and central to its message, that his height never carries a joke; not once is he reduced to such a crude stereotype, defined by his physical quirks. No, the character of Lemon (Peter Dinklage) is rounded and, like the movie (for the most part), genuinely engaging.
Penelope is a modern fairytale starring Christina Ricci as a young woman born with the snout of a pig. Her parents are desperately trying to marry her off in order to break the curse. One of the suitors, slimy inheritor Edward Vanderman, forms a secret alliance with a reporter, Lemon, in order to expose Penelope’s face to the world. Together they hire loveable rascal Max (James MacAvoy) to infiltrate the Wilhern household – but he develops a friendship with the mark; things become complicated.
Being a fairytale, there’s a strange mangling of context; the film takes place in a mid-Atlantic nowhereland that’s half London, half Manhattan, modern cars but mechanical typewriters. And, being a fairytale, the plot is mainly predictable; true love blossoms, falters, is triumphant.
Yet the telling is consistently witty, and Leslie Caveny’s script embellishes the story with a zest that keeps the viewer grinning widely and may even make it possible to stomach the inevitable ‘be happy with yourself’ message. The film is crisp, bright and lucid; Reese Witherspoon’s courier and Jason Thornton’s amiable bartender make impressions despite little screen-time. And Dinklage carries it: asked exactly why he’s so obsessed with getting his story, Lemon, straight-faced, diagnoses his own motivation in wilfully surreal tell-don’t-show fashion.
The cast sometimes seems unpleasantly polarised along racial lines: the Yanks are likeable, the English callous toffs. But despite some vaguely untenable American accents from the British roster, Ricci and MacEvoy are both excellent. The third act is rather messy, the tone sometimes confused, but criticism be damned: Penelope may not be a great film but it’s charming enough to get away with it, and isn’t that nice?by Laurence Dodds

Magdalen Bridge will close again on May day this year to prevent people, most of whom are students, from jumping into the river Cherwell despite pleas to reopen it.

This year, members of the Oxford City Council’s East area called for it to be reopened, but John Kelly said that the bridge would remain closed “as was decided three years ago.”

Superintendent Brendan O’Dowda told The Oxford Mail, “Last year the event passed off without incident and I think it is likely that the event will be managed in the same way as it was last year.”

Yet three students from Oxford Brookes still managed to bypass the security and jump into the river last year, prompting doubts over the effectiveness of the closure.However, John Kelly, Oxfordshire’s emergency planning Councillor, voiced his continuing faith in the decision to close Magdalen Bridge.

He said that the decision was part of a “multi-agency agreement following forty injuries three years ago”

“10,000 people descending upon the bridge would be disrupting, whether the bridge is closed or open, the disruption is the same. 

Officially the bridge is closed from 3am until 9am but in reality we only close it from 0530am to 06.45am.“The closure of Magdalen Bridge will make no difference to people as they will congregate under the tower rather than on the bridge itself.”

However, many remain unconvinced of the success of such policies. One first year student from University College described the students who jumped as “foolhardy” but added, “If they want to jump, a few men in yellow jackets won’t stop them.”

Every year the bridge attracts an estimated 10 000 people, who gather there to celebrate May morning and hear the Magdalen College Choir sing the Hymnus Eucharisticus. However, it has become a recent tradition for students to jump off Magdalen Bridge, a dangerous activity that has caused both the police and Oxford City Council a great deal of time and money.

This decision came after mass injuries in 2005 with revellers jumping and subsequently breaking limbs; ten were sent to hospital. Magdalen Bridge is an important connecting road between Cowley and the High Street. Last year, the bridge was closed from 3am until 9am, costing £10,000 and disrupting traffic for most of the day.

 Cloverfield3/51 February There were two words I repeated throughout the duration of Cloverfield, neither of which are friendly for print. The best way to describe the film is ‘intense’, as you will quite possibly leave the cinema short of breath. Many will be frustrated by the lack of answers, but the experience provides an adrenaline rush that makes the experience worthwhile. Cloverfield, which was produced by J.J. Abrams of Lost fame, is about a monster that terrorizes New York City. The chaos is viewed through a handheld camera of one of the characters. At times the film feels like another instalment of The Blair Witch Project, only this time it involves a giant monster and its minions of spider-like henchmen. Yet the camera action quickly transforms from being nauseating to emphasizing the action of the film.
Rob’s going away party consumes the first twenty minutes of the film. Rob is a typical ambitious ‘yuppie,’ but he appears to be having a quarter-life crisis. He has accepted a job in Japan and will be leaving the next day. Obviously, that does not happen. As Hud, his best friend states, ‘Looks like you should have left town a little bit earlier.’
Once the action starts, it literally does not stop until the credits end. Rob and three friends embark on a mission to save the woman Rob loves, abandoning any rational plan of escaping Manhattan. This is one of the most annoying parts of the film, however it is necessary for the story to continue. The goodbye tape that Hud was supposed to be recording thus turns into a documentation of a city being destroyed by a very scary monster.
There is no real hero in Cloverfield, as we are meant to be witnessing real people trapped in a situation that goes beyond reason. Consequently, it has been accused of capitalizing on the tragedy of September 11th. The images of terrified people breaking through clouds of dust from a collapsed building are far too familiar. But this makes the events of the film all the more terrifying. There is no one to save the day and no one to explain what is going on.
This is the sort of film that sticks in your mind for days. Aiding the search for answers are a slew of websites dedicated to the film, including fake Myspace pages for the characters. However, the film is not entirely horrifying, it does have its truly funny moments, most involving Hud.
Cloverfield is a ridiculously scary film experience. I left the cinema shaking and contemplating how I would escape Manhattan if faced with a similar situation. While the film is not for everyone, given its definite ability to thrill it is a risk that is worth taking. 

A complaints tribunal has called for the results of Lady Margaret Hall’s JCR by-election to be annulled after the reliability of the online voting system used was called into question.

According to the tribunal’s report, several undergraduates complained to the Returning Officer during last Thursday’s election that there were “insufficient protections against electoral fraud” and that the ballot “lacked due secrecy”. 

Other students reported that their anti-virus software prevented them from accessing the voting page.There was also confusion on election day after it emerged that the online system allowed voters to mark the same candidate as their first and second choice. 

Many thought that doing this would increase the sway of their vote, when in fact it spoilt their ballot.Ashley Thompson, the JCR’s IT representative, sent an email to students just after midday on polling day to advise voters against placing the same candidate as their first and second choice.

However in the same email, he wrote, “You can’t put down a first choice for VP and then leave the remaining options blank.”

The preferential voting system used by LMH does not require all choices to be used, and Thompson was forced to issue a further correction later in the day.Some students expressed concern that the system did not adequately protect the privacy of individual votes after discovering that individually identifiable results were amalgamated in one spreadsheet.

Thompson claims that he protected the confidentiality of individual votes. He explained, “I had the votes in a spreadsheet with e-mail addresses, voting pins and actual votes in separate columns. 

While I was validating e-mail addresses I had the voting columns hidden, and before I started counting votes I deleted the e-mail address/voting pin columns.”

However Returning Officer Nathalie Higgs decided not to release the results of the by-election when polling closed, and forwarded the complaints she received to a tribunal formed of three former JCR officers.

The complaints tribunal released its report on Wednesday, in which ex-JCR President David Tan criticises the current JCR Executive for not ensuring an effective system was in place.

“The planning for this online election smacks of being naive at best, and inept at worst,” he wrote.

It is the first time that LMH has held an election online. Tan suggests that the JCR Executive’s decision not to use a more traditional method was based on “saving themselves from having to sit for an hour at the ballot box.”

“It is surprising that at no point did the JCR Exec think to consult the JCR as a whole as to their views concerning online voting,” he continued.

Asked if he felt anyone should resign following the incident, Tan said, “You may very well think that. I couldn’t possibly comment.”JCR President Marlene Cayoun said that the vote was held online to make it more accessible.

“We wanted to make it easier for people who live out, who sometimes find it hard to come into college to vote,” she said. “It’s a shame that it didn’t work out, but our motives was [sic] sound.”

Higgs agreed that the move was based on good intentions. “We wanted to try and increase the turnout of voters. In the previous elections only 160 people voted out of an electorate of 400.”

The College’s JCR will meet on Sunday night to decide whether to accept the tribunal’s recommendation that a “by-by-election” be held. The debacle means that the JCR is still without a Vice-President or OUSU Officer.

Both positions were left vacant when the winners of the College’s Michaelmas elections resigned before taking up their roles.Alasdair Craig, who won the election for VP in Michaelmas, was forced to resign when College authorities objected to election posters that depicted him holding a carrot in his trouser flies.

Georgina Day resigned as the College’s OUSU representative earlier this term, saying her position had become “awkward.”Charlotte Dyke, one of the candidates for Vice-President in the by-election, said, “Problems that arose could not have been foreseen before the election took place. It was evident that a lot of research had gone into the online system in order for it to work.”

Let’s face it, we’re all addicted to Facebook. I’m sure I’m not alone in checking my notifications just after I get up and just before I go to bed. Lord knows how many ‘quick breaks’ I’ll take from the old essays to have another sneaky peak. At the end of the day, it’s a convenient way to balance staying social with the latest (potentially all engulfing) essay crisis. Not everyone is such a fan though. A friend recently committed Facebook suicide by deleting her profile and denouncing the networking ‘cult.’ She categorically stated that anyone who considered themselves her real friends knew they could make the effort to call her. She is by no means alone in this. Whatever happened to those romantic days of letter writing and personal phone calls? As much as receiving wall posts is nice, when you realise that you’re one of ten recipients in a friend’s latest ‘Facebook sesh’,  it’s not quite so special.
So why don’t we all abandon it? Well, for starters there’s that minor issue of money, something we students tend to be quite reluctant to part with – let’s face it, calling all our friends would knock up a huge bill and sad though it might seem, we just wouldn’t do it. And then there’s the problem of time – a precious but irritatingly sparse commodity. At Oxford I barely feel that I have enough time to eat or wash; making individual calls to all my friends back home, again, even with the best intentions, probably wouldn’t happen.
So what about the dark ages before Facebook even existed? When my mother (Facebook’s biggest critic) was dating my dad at university, their communication consisted of a scheduled public phone box call once a week. In the world before the internet or mobiles, that was the way a couple at university kept in touch – one conversation a week. Waiting in the cold for a phone to ring seems bad enough to talk to a boyfriend; I highly doubt she would have done it for 20 odd friends as well. So were friendships and relationships really of a better quality before social networking?  Using it as a solitary means of communication would of course be destructive, not to mention downright unhealthy, but in reality that’s not what it’s about. Of course we all love receiving calls from friends back home, but who can deny that a little Super-Wall here and there keeps us topped up with a healthy dose of socialising to keep us going in the mean time.by Helen Smith

A vote on Krishna Omkar’s proposals to change Union rules has been delayed until Thursday. If passed, the rule changes will overturn lifetime bans from running in Union elections. Omkar is currently subject to such a ban.The vote was originally going to take place yesterday but President Emily Partington proposed for it to be “requisitioned” until fifth week to “enable the general membership of the Union to have a chance to make their mind up about the changes.”However as Omkar will be in Delhi during fifth and sixth weeks for personal reasons, a compromise of fourth week has been reached.Minutes of the Emergency Standing Committee that voted on the delay show that Omkar criticised the move as being “for the political self-interests of Committee members.”He was referring to the elections due to take place at the end of this term, in which several members of the current Standing Committee are expected to contest the Union’s presidency.  Omkar believes that those members do not wish to stand against him in an election. Emily Partington admitted that the delay “could easily be construed as political”, but insisted that it was in the best interests of the society.“There is nothing detrimental to leaving it for a week,” she said.  “What would be worse would be looking back and saying we’ve rushed it through the chamber.”

Student residents in Jericho have been battling with rodent problems and have complained of negligent landlords, despite high demand for housing there.One third year student, who preferred to remain anonymous, said, “The rats have been there all year but the landlord has only just come with traps.” Seven students, each paying £330 per month, share the Cardigan Street address with three rats that have apparently been terrorising the flatmate living in the basement, even plaguing his dreams in which he thinks they have bitten him.The housemates initially contacted their landlord and the letting agency Homefinders but discovered that the former was responsible once the contract has been signed.  One housemate said, “He’s been slow throughout the whole thing because he can get away with it.”After delays at the Council, who took two weeks to bring traps that did not work, the housemates resorted to an internet-advertised rat catcher. After being charged £100 and still facing a rodent problem at the end of it, the landlord eventually provided the housemates with working traps. The students, however, were burdened with this bill.The student added, “We may consider not paying next month’s rent.”by Sarah Fleming 

The New College room ballot system has been labelled “ridiculous” after many students were mistakenly told that they would have to find rooms outside of College.

An email sent out on 28 November last year demanded that students reply before 6 December if they wanted to be included on the room ballot. When a number of students, believed to be between ten and 15, missed the deadline they were omitted from the ballot, provoking fierce complaints.

Caroline Thomas, New College Home Bursar who composed the email, defended the College’s actions. She explained, “There is a convention at New College that students should reply to emails within 24 hours… The header makes it clear that it is very important that [students reply] if they want a room for next year (‘VERY important information about rooms for next year- please read carefully’).” She also noted that the opening lines of the email stated, “If you disregard any instruction you will prejudice your chances in the ballot.”

However one second-year, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “Some of us don’t check our emails every day. Since when do they make people homeless for not sending an email? That is a pretty harsh fine, especially with a ridiculous deadline. It was a ridiculous three thousand word email, especially as students don’t have the longest attention spans.”

Ben Karlin, JCR President, defended the College authorities. He said, “I certainly would not come down hard on the College…I think it was a series of slightly unfortunate events. People should have been more organised. The JCR and the College can learn from it and make changes for the future.”

William Cowell de Gruchy, Editor of the New College paper, The Newt, echoed Karlin’s sentiments. “As far as I’m concerned the situation arose more from undergrad laziness than a fault in the system, though given that many of our undergrads seem to be incapable of reading long emails, perhaps they should be spoon fed such stuff in future?”

Ginny Howells, the New College JCR Accommodation officer, explained that, “I pushed for the deadline to be extended for everyone…So the deadline was extended, and the people who were late for the first deadline are now back on the ballot.”by Rob Pomfret 

So what’s it to be: baggy or bootcut, flared or straight-leg, high-waisted or low-rise, relaxed fit or slouch fit? Buying a new pair of jeans is no easy feat these days, what with the immountable piles of different styles, shades and fits which populate every clothes-shop. Choose from a £3 Tesco pair, or skip up through the high-street offers on Cornmarket, or perhaps even to the never – will – afford – on – this – student – loan – designer styles, from the old classics of Jordache and Calvin Klein to the new, rising brands VB and Sass & Bide. Screw the essay – this is a challenge. Boyfriend jeans? Just nick a pair from a Teddy Hall boy getting naked on a crew date. Skinny jeans? Honestly, how did a fashion that only serves to accentuate the hips and the thighs ever become so popular and, apparently, a wardrobe stable – now available in pink, turquoise or red.
Gone are the days of old, when overalls made out of a strong, practical blue material called denim were made for factory workers in Western America. Supplied by a Mr Levi-Strauss, the men’s jeans would have the zipper, as it is now, down the front, whereas women’s had the zipper down the right-hand side. Flattering. In the 1930s, Western films took America by storm and as cinema-goers were enraptured by the hardened, authentic cowboys on screen, with them came their jeans. They henceforth became the symbol of all things rugged, virile and independent, moving away from association with labourers and obtaining, by the 1950s, a popular fashion status. The original Levian, John Wayne, was soon replaced by James Dean – rebellious, smouldering, and devastatingly sexy in denim.
Fast forward several decades and every American, on average, owns seven pairs. Inspired to buy yourself some more now, in the hope of reaching a Rebel Without a Cause level of seduction? Button up that coat, and check out the myriad on offer. But be warned: thou shalt be careful in thy purchase, and thou must avoid anything which will transform your perfect denims into a devastating tragedy. No diamanté studding (so no River Island, then), no excessive bleaching which suggests you’ve had an accident in the Scout’s cupboard, and absolutely NO over-the-top, obviously-fake, perfectly-square ‘rips’ and ‘tears’. So with all these guidelines, it’s back to the changing-room…

by Gini Sharvill

 Kate McGettigan
Oxford University Quiz Society 
Who does OUQS represent and why should we sign up?
We exist to promote and organising academic quizzes in Oxford. You should sign up if you like quizzes, want to practise for your 15 minutes of fame on University Challenge, or just want to show off what a smart arse you are!

Why do you think OUQS is important?
It allows students to stretch their intelligence beyond their subject, and provides healthy competition outside of conventional sports. Also, we’ve never lost a Varsity Match, so we are very good at maintaining the glory of Oxford.

As a member of OUQS, what has been your most memorable experience so far?
Watching our A team beat Cambridge in the Varsity Match was definitely a highlight. I really hope we can do the same this year – I don’t want to be the first captain to lose the trophy.

What does OUQS have planned for 2008?
The Inter-Collegiate Quiz is just beginning, which is the big event for 2008 and takes about three weeks in total. Next term will be the Varsity Match, which is being held in Oxford and will be very exciting for all concerned.

Tell us something you didn’t / couldn’t say at fresher’s fair?
We have Strip Buzzers. We get them out after we’ve had a few drinks.

When do you meet and how can we get involved?
We hold quizzes on an ad hoc basis a couple of times a term – to be added to the mailing list e-mail [email protected]. Squad Trials are held in Michaelmas of each academic year.
 Interview by Louise Collins