Thursday, May 15, 2025
Blog Page 2375

Tories appeal for Cabinet inquiry into Oxford don

0

A Conservative MP has called for an Oxford don to be investigated by the Cabinet Office after he was accused in a leaked letter of providing direct political support to Gordon Brown.

Professor Iain McLean, a Professor of Politics at Nuffield College, is alleged to have provided political support to the Chancellor’s team after benefiting from Treasury and government contracts.

In a letter sent to Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O’Donnell last Thursday and obtained by Cherwell, Shadow Transport Secretary Chris Grayling raises concerns about McLean’s actions prior to Brown’s campaign for the leadership of the Labour Party.

"My most serious area of concern is that some individuals and organisations who have provided the Chancellor and other Treasury Ministers with pro-bono or discounted support for their political activities have also been beneficiaries of contracts from the Treasury under the Chancellor’s leadership and also from other Government Departments," he wrote.

The call for an inquiry comes after the Electoral Commission revealed that Gordon Brown received over £110,000 in donations for his leadership campaign, many from donors who had been appointed to key government posts.

McLean states in his CV that he was a Specialist Adviser to the House of Commons Treasury Committee from 2002 to 2005. His research into public expenditure allocation was "highly commended by HM Treasury" in Brown’s 2004 Budget report.

In October 2004 McLean attended a meeting of Wakefield City Council where he voiced objections to the Boundary Commission’s proposed changes to constituency sizes. The proposals would have abolished the constituency of Normanton, current seat for Economic Secretary to the Treasury Ed Balls MP.

Before becoming an MP, Balls served as chief economic adviser to the Treasury from 1999 to 2004, a role in which he was once described as the most powerful unelected person in Britain.

In Grayling’s letter to the Cabinet Secretary he questioned McLean’s objections to the proposed boundary changes. "I would like you to investigate whether this also classifies as providing political support to the Chancellor’s team, and investigate whether the correct competitive tendering processes were followed for his government work," he wrote.

"Given the obvious public interest in this issue and the importance of upholding the highest standards of transparency in this leadership campaign, [I am] placing this letter in the public domain and would request that you give this matter your urgent attention."
Grayling attacked what he described as "cronyism" between Brown and his political allies. "Gordon Brown says he wants to put the trust back into British politics. Yet it appears that people close to him politically have been doing paid work for the Treasury and for other Government Departments while he has been Chancellor. If it’s true, this is a completely unacceptable situation, and there needs to be a proper investigation into what has happened," he said.

"Government Ministers have a duty to be entirely impartial when it comes to spending taxpayers’ money, and it is completely unacceptable to put your political friends onto the payroll. It’s obvious that the culture of cronyism that existed under Tony Blair is going to carry on under Gordon Brown. But the Chancellor seems to be taking things to new depths."

Professor McLean denied all of Grayling’s accusations and said they did not constitute political support as he was acting in a professional capacity. "I didn’t provide direct political support to Ed Balls. I was a consultant to Wakefield City Council, as Mr Grayling would have found out if he had consulted them, or me. My financial terms for acting as an expert witness were my standard terms, as agreed with other local authorities in the Fourth and Fifth General Reviews of the Parliamentary Boundary Commission for England.

"All my work for HM Treasury has been unpaid. The only paid contract involving the Treasury was for a report on which I was principal instigator on ‘Investigating the flow of domestic and European public expenditure into the English regions’, which reported in 2003. It was not commissioned by the Treasury but by John Prescott’s department, then called the ODPM. I tendered successfully for it in an open competition," he added.

Andrew Smith, MP for Oxford East, attacked the Conservative Party for encouraging an investigation into Professor McLean without proper consideration. "This is the politics of smear and innuendo," he said. "It shows how desperate the Tories are to try and undermine Gordon Brown. Their attempt to drag Professor McLean’s name through the mud is utterly contemptible and they should apologise to him. This will do the Tories nothing but harm among fair-minded students and academics in Oxford."
A spokesperson for the Cabinet Office said they were unable to confirm whether an investigation would be officially launched.

Ethical Travel

0

Worried that your cheap summer flights are choking the environment? Ed Parker on getting around the green way.The prospect of over three months without lectures, tutorials, or any other commitments to speak of is certainly an enticing one. Whilst the eager anticipation of reading all seven Harry Potter books back to back may be enough of a thrill for some, the first thing that springs to mind for most of us is that glamorous vision of setting off on a plane to some far off corner of the world with nothing but a backpack and a small pot of marmite. It is an idea, no doubt, which many students will be considering and who would blame them? But in a world in which the welfare of the environment is coming to weigh ever more heavily on our consciences, perhaps there is an alternative approach: one which doesn’t involve flying from place to place without thought for the consequences.Flying seems so cheap and convenient nowadays that it would be easy to ignore the wealth of rewarding travel opportunities right on our doorstep. Perhaps “travelling green” has just as much to offer as jet-setting off to lands afar, not to mention giving you a clean conscience in the process. And even if the idea of “eco-tourism” makes you turn green in an all too literal sense, there is still something to be said for the old-fashioned romance of the Journey. I am not about to suggest that you spend your summer on a rocky beach in Wales. Quite the opposite in fact. Given a moment’s consideration, the range of possible travel experiences that don’t require getting on a plane is simply staggering. From Brighton Pier to the Egyptian Pyramids, there really are no limits to the adventures which you could end up on given half the chance. So why not try something different this summer? Why not replace the artificial gloss of the plane cabin with the charm of a dusty old train carriage? Why not put a green stamp in your passport for a change?So, what to do next. You are ready to take a righteous step towards global welfare, but without the help of budget flights at the click of a button, you find yourself at a loose end. The opportunities are simply endless, but for those who still refuse to take some initiative, here are a few bundles of summer fun that might be worthy of consideration… The Grand Tour  When it comes to traversing the diverse and quirky landscape of Europe, there are plenty of ways you can get around. You could windsurf to Calais, then hitchhike to the Southern coast of Spain and back again. You could regurgitate an old bop costume and pretend to be an attendant on a passenger ferry to Iceland or, like the rest of the world, you could catch the train. The initial cost of getting across the channel isn’t an appealing one however. Even booking well in advance, a return ticket to Paris on the Eurostar will set you back £49 (www.raileurope.co.uk). As a consolation, the carbon dioxide emissions of flying the same distance would be more than ten times as great and, as of 2007, Eurostar have even committed to offsetting the emissions for passengers free of charge, effectively making the journey entirely carbon neutral.Once you arrive on the continent though, things get a whole lot easier. Global Inter-Rail passes start at £115 (www.railpassshop.com) for 5 days of travelling in 10, while £288 will give you a month-long pass. Meanwhile, single country passes start as low as £24, so that with just a minimal planning effort, you could sort out an affordable tour of some of Europe’s finest destinations. Within Italy alone, a single pass could take you through the likes of Venice, Florence, Rome, and Verona without even stopping for breath, and the broad montage of cultural nuggets on offer is simply staggering. From the Rossini Opera festival in Pesaro in August, to the renowned Umbria Jazz festival in Perugia in July, there is something for everyone’s taste. And for any of you not so culturally inclined, the elegant grandeur of the ancient cities, or at the very least the quality of the pizzas, should be enough of an appeal.For those who feel that InterRailing is a little bit too conventional, there is no reason to restrict yourself to the train carriage, comfortable though it may be. You could get a long way in Europe with nothing but a bicycle as your trusty steed, as long as you have the patience and perseverance to spend a lot of time on the open road. France, in particular, is well known for its cycle routes, with an extensive network of secondary road systems taking you past plenty of eccentric villages and a plethora of scenic landscapes. The Loire Valley is a notoriously spectacular cultural vista, with its many historic towns and villages, its opulent chatauex, and an excess of fine wines for the more refined student travellers. If biking isn’t your thing and you are still keen to keep expenditure to a minimum, you don’t need to give up on flightless travel quite yet. Eco-tourism has budget alternatives which rival even the most ludicrous low-cost airline prices. One of the more impressive offers is a single ticket to Holland for only £25 (www.dutchflyer.co.uk). So the green passport stamp doesn’t have to come at too objectionable a cost, even though it does require a couple of trains, a long ferry ride, and the best part of a day for the trouble. Horizons Near and Far  The more thought you give it, the more it becomes apparent that the limits of environmentally friendly tourism are nigh on boundless. Considering the length of the summer holiday, the potential horizons of your travelling experience extend as far as you dare to indulge them. At the most ambitious end of the spectrum, you could book yourself a seat on the Trans-Siberian Railway (www.seat61.com) which, provided you can sustain a train journey extending over an entire week, will take you from Moscow to the heart of China. And having made it that far, why not go the extra yard: Tokyo, Cambodia, Vietnam, and even Singapore are then but a hop skip and a jump away. It would certainly be a story to remember, and a worthy competitor to the most extravagant summer tales recounted by your peers next term.Meanwhile, much closer to home, a rewarding alternative which avoids the extended mileage of a trip to China and back, comes in the form of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. A glorious assortment of cultural variety, the festival offers a feasible and affordable destination to students looking for a less formidable, though equally fulfilling, summer experience. Running from the 5th to the 27th of August, the Fringe features more than 28,000 performances of over 1800 shows, including the pinnacle of the world’s comedy, music, and theatrical scenes. At only a £12.50 train fare away, the festival is yet another contender to add to the ever growing list of potential candidates for your prospective agenda this summer. So before you jump at the idea of a cheap and convenient flight to the other side of the planet, take a moment to consider what you really want from your summer. Perhaps you are fed up of tiresome airport lounges and fancy taking a different and more wholesome approach to travelling. Perhaps you might care to indulge in the steps of a journey rather than just the destination. Perhaps your conscience has taken an environmental turn. Perhaps you might try taking the road less travelled by. And perhaps, just perhaps, it will make all the difference. 
 

Have you met…Tom Corcoran and Gregor Jotzu?

0

"Gregor Jotzu is one of the finest men I have ever met," says Tom Corcoran of the athlete, aesthete and all-round ‘culture king’. Gregor curates a termly arts event known as The Empty Space. "It’s very open," he explains. He’s not wrong. The Empty Space has featured just about every form of artistic endeavour imaginable, from the relatively conventional – such as photography and poetry – to the more unorthodox. One evening witnessed a young troubadour who had adapted Psalms to blues music; he was followed by an all-singing, all-dancing tribute to Mark Russell, the god-awful American satirist. "It’s for people to present something they wouldn’t want to present in a formal context, or something that’s not in a finalised form."

"The best thing about it is that there’s a lot of time when nothing happens and people talk about the performances. We have all sorts of stuff: a girl playing a banjo, violin and dancing, absurdist comedy." The occasions have a spontaneous feel – one play didn’t have enough actors for the parts, so the director recruited more from the audience. A regular performer at the event is Tom Corcoran. "How do I describe Tom? He’s impossible to sum up," muses Gregor, who once managed to convince Tom that he existed only as a figment of Tom’s imagination.

Tom started out as a guitar-strumming, harmonica-tooting folkie in the Woody Guthrie vein, but has since morphed into a stand-up comedy monster of Godzilla-esqe proportions. His recent performance at The Empty Space, ‘Corcoranism’, was well-received. "It’s like political satire without the politics," he tells me. Part of the performance was his recital of a poem outlining his ideology. "It’s a series of invocations," he says. "Like: let us liberate the homosexuals from the mighty cock of Magdalen, or let us experiment on the animal protesters for our own personal amusement. Or: let us tempt the college chaplains with naked catamites and let us tempt the Catholics with foetal sandwiches. That was quite controversial."
Part of the challenge of The Empty Space is the acts you have to follow. Tom’s performance was preceded by a contemporary dance piece put on by two Ruskin students, which saw the two young women cover each other and the stage in flour, polenta and peaches. "I don’t think they were lesbians," says Tom. "They were just two girls rolling around eating stuff and spitting it out and making… caveman noises. When they left they just crawled out. I was sitting near the entrance and I was worried they were going to throw all this shit on me." Just an occupational hazard.

Monika Zak

0

The Swedish journalist who exposed human rights atrocities to the world talks to Iona Bergius about torture, terrorism and life undercover

Monica Zak first travelled to Latin America in 1965 on an old fishing boat. Since then she has travelled extensively across the continent, reporting, writing novels, and producing films about the child soldiers, genocide, drugs cartels, and racism which have blighted much of Latin America’s history. She has risked her life on more than one occasion while researching for her work, convinced of the power the pen can have in making a positive difference in the world.

Of the fifty novels Zak has written to date, one of the best-known deals with the 36-year Guatemalan civil war. The novel centres around the true story of a young girl’s search to find her brother, who was kidnapped by government soldiers for supporting the guerrilla movement. Zak tells me about the long and dangerous journey which led her to write The Puma’s Daughter. In the early 1980s she met Marianela García Villas, a lawyer from El Salvador forced into exile after her defence for human rights had led to her attempted murder. Zak befriended Villas and the two decided to travel to El Salvador – then in the midst of a bitter twelve year civil war – to write a book about the government’s abuse of human rights.

Zak is reluctant to talk about exactly what happened when she first arrived in El Salvador, and skims over the details. "I arrived in the capital and then Marianela and I met up in the countryside. But there was an army invasion and we lost contact. She was captured and tortured to death. I was never able to write the book because all the material was stolen – I returned only with my life." She was forced to flee the country because when the military had captured Villas, she had had a photo and a taped interview with Zak on her person. "I was accused of being an international terrorist with plans to destroy the country. It took me several months to get out of El Salvador under false papers."

Eventually Zak succeeded in escaping from El Salvador and crossed the border into Guatemala. Fearing for her life, she was forced to hide out in the Swedish Embassy. It was there that she learnt about the repression of the indigenous population taking place in the countryside. She tells me her greatest motivation for writing about Guatemala was the dearth of coverage of the people's plight. "The world had no interest in Guatemala. No one wanted to go there. So I felt I had to write about it. I wanted to write this book because no one cared about the horrible things that were happening there. I wanted to tell people what it was like. The purpose of my writing is to try and make a difference," she explains.

Zak returned to Guatemala on two more occasions to research her novel, spending much of her time interviewing survivors of the government-led repression. She explains that some of the things they described were so terrible that she felt they could not be included in the novel, because no one would want to read about such atrocities. "The violence described in my book is all true. For example, the massacre of the villagers of San Francisco took place on 17 July 1982 and is told just as I heard it from the mouths of the survivors, except that I had to leave out some things, because if I had explicitly described the way in which many children were murdered, I think most people would have stopped reading the book."

Her research was fraught with difficulties and dangers. "I wanted to get to the Mayan village of Yalam, but the military forbade anyone from going in. Two American journalists had tried and then they had disappeared. A few years later their bodies were found – they’d been beheaded. I could get in thanks to a letter from my editor in Sweden which claimed I was writing a book on Mayan culture and wanted to look at the Mayan ruins of Yalam. At that time, there were no roads to the village so I had to walk for three days to get there, and to the neighbouring village of San Francisco, where the massacre had taken place." On another occasion, she befriended some Guatemalan nuns who lent her a habit so that she could enter a Mayan village occupied by the military, in order to gather testimonies from the indigenous people. Zak denies that she acted bravely, simply stating, "There’s a magic to not being afraid. I never imagine the bad things that could happen to me."

The Puma’s Daughter was finally published in 1986. The book was well-received in Sweden and abroad, wining several prizes for its commitment to a humanitarian cause. In 1991, Zak returned to Central America to help have her book made into a film. As the war in Guatemala was ongoing, filming had to be done in Mexico. Even so, Monica tells me it was a highly dangerous project. "We expected sabotage from the military in Guatemala because they didn’t want the story to be told. The military had come into Mexico from Guatemala to murder Guatemalan refugees before, so that was a danger. The project was kept very secret and every time a scene was completed, the roll of film was immediately sent away to Denmark."

Since then, the incredible risks taken by Monica and many others in completing the novel and film seem to have paid off. In response to the novel, an organisation called Colchaj Nac Luum (A rough translation from the Mayan language would be ‘Saved by land and freedom’) was set up in Sweden to raise money for the Mayan community Zak had written about. Almost all the money collected by the charity has been raised by Swedish school children, and has been spent on new homes, a secondary school and land for the Mayan community. The profits of every copy of The Puma’s Daughter sold in Guatemala also go towards the organisation.

The novel has now become part of the Swedish syllabus and secondary school students across the country study both the novel and the film adaptation. In fact, though her works are read by children and adults alike, the majority of Zak’s novels are aimed more specifically at children and young adults. She explains that she likes to write for younger age groups because they have been so passionate in getting involved in the causes her work deals with. "If you write for grown-ups, it just doesn’t have the same impact," she argues.

Zak is also convinced of the enduring power of novels to effect change. And as far as her own work is concerned, she seems to have a strong case for her argument. In response to her novels, a student organisation called Elevorganisationen (Organisation of the Pupils) was established, which on the 6th of May each year organises Operation Dagsverke (Operation Day-Work). Pupils take the day off school to work, and the money raised is donated to a charity in a different country each year. Zak tells me that with the money they raised for El Salvador, three dozen new schools were built.

Zak is keen to emphasise that despite the often very bleak issues she tackles in her writing, she and her works ultimately remain positive. She recalls in particular the hope she found in the children and young adults she met during her visit to El Salvador, some of whom were child soldiers, others political prisoners at just 11 years old, others orphaned by the war. "I was struck by their tragic and unbelievable lives, but also by their spark, their strength, their humour, their intelligence and their desire to live. They will never leave my memory," she tells me. "I met a boy of fourteen who’d just been let out of prison. He told me about the terrible torture he’d suffered there, and then of his dreams of a future of peace, without torture, or children in prison.

"I’ve written about war and torture, but it will always have some positive twist – it’s not completely black. I’ve found a lot of fantastic people and hope in the world, and I remain an optimistic person." With authors like Monica Zak working to make a difference it seems that this hope is gradually being made reality.

Animal rights group threatens to sue police

0

Animal rights group Speak has threatened to take legal action against Thames Valley Police after a judge ruled last week that they had been unlawfully prevented from demonstrating by officers.

Mel Broughton, co-founder of Speak, attacked police for keeping officers who had been criticised during the trial on duty, and accused the University of attempting to silence anyone who who spoke out against animal testing.

Broughton complained that police officers, who had been condemned by the judge for acting in an unprofessional manner last year towards Speak, had been present at a demonstration last Saturday.

He explained that he had no confidence in the Independent Police Complains Commission (IPCC) and did not believe that the police would take action against their own officers. "I don’t think they’re [Thames Valley Police] going to do anything. We’re going to take our own action through the courts. I don’t think we’ll get anywhere through the IPCC, they’re clearly not interested."

Broughton also claims that the University is attempting to use the courts to limit Speak protests after a 2006 injunction to prevent Speak protesters using megaphones at demonstrations.

The Speak website stated, "It was noted that at least one of the police officers, whose evidence was described as ‘inconceivable’ and who was considered by the judge to be an ‘unreliable witness,’ was on duty, showing that TVP obviously want to continue policing these demonstrations in the way they have always done, with officers who want to wage a dirty war against protesters and who are prepared to lie about it in court. So much for balanced policing."

A spokesperson for Thames Valley Police confirmed that officers who had been involved in the trial were still on duty and that an internal review of the judgment was taking place.

A spokesperson for the University said, "The University of Oxford is committed to the principle of free speech and appreciates that everyone has the right to express their views and participate in lawful and peaceful protests. At the same time, people must be able to go about their everyday business in Oxford’s city centre without feeling intimidated or harassed by protesters."
He stated that the University had not been criticised by the judge during the trial. "It’s an operational matter for the police. It’s not something that we need to comment on. There was no suggestion by the judge of any dodgy dealings."

Turnbull denies Hell claims

0

Principal of Wycliffe Hall, Dr Richard Turnbull, has reacted against recent accusations of reactionary evangelicalism at his College in an article published in the Guardian.

"I know of no homophobia or misogyny at Wycliffe," he wrote.

Turnbull also argued that his assertion that 95 per cent of Britons are going to Hell had been taken out of context.

"This is a misrepresentation when the rest of my sentence, ‘unless the message of the gospel is brought to them’, is excluded," he said.

The call of the wild

0

Want to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel? Rebecca Fry on the surprising similarities between human and animal behaviour. 

My very first lessons in love came courtesy of eighties rock star Pat Benatar. Educated at an all-girls school from the age of four, I grew up barely aware that there were two genders. Opportunities for experience-based learning were seriously limited. Still, listening to the car radio on my way home from school, one thing was clear: love is a battlefield.

Later on I became a teenager, met boys at Bacardi breezer infused house parties and probably even held their hands. Once or twice. I was growing up, trying new things, experimenting with my sexuality. Or was I? I began to realise that I was heavily influenced by my surroundings. Why was I so sure that sexual relationships involved the opposite sex? What was wrong with experimenting with other girls? Or even with myself? Our society teaches us that some sexual practices are natural, whilst others are considered perverse or even perverted. It was time to look to nature itself for some answers.

Brought up in relatively liberal, post-feminist Britain, which sees women succeeding in almost every walk of life, I still can’t even imagine making the first move. "Don’t act too interested, don’t text him until he texts you, and definitely don’t sleep with him on the first date," is typical of the relationship advice that most girls receive from male and female friends alike. Human dating etiquette dictates that female promiscuity is unnatural while men are genetically programmed to thrive on the so-called thrill of the chase.

In the animal world things are very different. Recent genetic research has revealed that females who mate with several different partners produce healthier offspring, giving them an evolutionary impetus to play the field. Female chimpanzees take this to the extreme, with some on record as having copulated with eight different partners in 15 minutes. Others have racked up an impressive total of 84 sexual assignations in just eight days. Lionesses are also voracious lovers, demanding sex at least once every half hour during their five-day heat. But the sauciest species has to be the female dunnock. These otherwise rather uninspiring birds are known to sneak away from their partners for a quickie in the undergrowth with different, genetically superior specimens. The minxes.

Yet in spite of widespread evidence of animal promiscuity, we humans still subscribe to the view that monogamy isn’t just natural, it’s everything we’ve always wanted. Right? Weaned on a diet of Disney classics, relationships always seemed simple to me. All you had to do was grow up, marry the local prince and live happily ever after. Wrong. With divorce rates at an all time high, forever seems to have become a relative concept. And it’s no different in Oxford. Though the majority of my close friends are in long-term relationships, I’d be hard pushed to name one that hasn’t "slipped up" one drunken night at the Bridge. But though fairy-tale romance eludes most of us, it hasn’t stopped me subscribing to the improbable idea that my soul mate is out there somewhere.

A quick glance around a card shop on Valentine’s Day might easily give the impression that it’s the same for animals. Cuddling bears and cooing love birds abound. But while the love bird itself really is monogamous, it’s one of the very few species that is. Genetic testing tells us that most birds live in pairs but are unfaithful to their partners, flying off to copulate with other birds at the earliest opportunity. Birds aren’t alone in this: studies show that less than 3% of mammals practice true monogamy, probably because it has very few evolutionary benefits.

Excluding black vultures, termites and prairie voles, it’s fair to say that most species sleep around. But it’s not just for fun. New research conducted by the University of British Columbia in Vancouver concludes that monogamy is in fact a risk factor for extinction. Apparently species that live in pairs or small harems are more likely to die out than those that live in large harems. In the Ghanaian nature reserves, studied colobus monkey species, which have few mates, died out an average of 18 years after the reserves were established. Green monkeys and baboons, which tend to live in large harems, are both thriving in the reserves. Similarly, monogamous duiker antelopes were eradicated after just 10 years in reserves where the more promiscuous buffalo continues to prosper. In the natural world, monogamy isn’t just difficult; it’s bad for your health.

While monogamy is rare, more contentious sexual practices such as homosexuality, masturbation, and even paedophilia are common to animal interactions. Once again, the animal world turns human stereotypes upside down. Though we’ve come a long, long way since Victorian times, the fact remains that most forms of sexual expression that don’t fit into the boy-meets-girl box are still regarded with some suspicion. In spite of the efforts of Oxford’s LGBT Soc, not one of my gay friends feels comfortable enough to kiss their partner in public. And though Friday night TV shows like Sex and the City may give the impression that we’re all happy to discuss vibrators, anal sex and X-rated fantasies over brunch, the reality is very different. Most of us tend to giggle and look the other way, retreating behind our menus before the discussion even gets off the ground. It’s a far cry from the criminal charges faced by practising homosexuals as recently as 1967, or the mandatory hospitalisation of those suffering from the "social plague" of masturbation in the 1700s. Still, with influential leaders like Archbishop of York John Sentamu supporting the 1998 Lambeth Resolution which rejects homosexuality as "incompatible with scripture", sexual freedom remains an aspiration rather than an actuality.

Animals seem much more comfortable with sexual experimentation. Dolphins in particular have discovered the secrets (and the pleasures) of free love. The mammals have been recorded trying to mate with seals, sharks, turtles, eels and even humans. They also engage in homosexual activity, rather amusingly involving blow hole penetration, and, if all else fails, will masturbate. Masturbation is in fact very common in the natural world. As Peter Boeckman of the Norwegian Natural History Museum points out, "masturbation is the simplest method of self pleasure. We have a Darwinist mentality that all animals only have sex to procreate. But masturbation has been observed among primates, deer, killer whales and penguins, and we’re talking about both males and females."

Homosexuality is also widespread. There are male ostriches that only court ostriches of the same gender, pairs of male flamingos that build nests, mate and even foster unwanted chicks, and same-sex chinstrap penguins who form long-term partnerships. Homosexual contact can also serve a bonding function. According to Mr Soeli, organiser of a recent exhibition on homosexuality in the animal kingdom at Oslo Natural History Museum, male big horn sheep will have sex with other males just to be accepted. The social relationships they form will later allow them closer access to the females of the flock. Closer to home, the bonobo ape, which shares 99% of our genetic makeup, will often choose same-sex action over offers from the opposite sex. Research suggests that 75% of bonobo sex is non-reproductive and that nearly all bonobos are bisexual. Devotees of sexual experimentation, these primates will use sex as way to relieve stress, regardless of prejudices or gender barriers. Perhaps slightly more worryingly, they will also attempt to mate with sexually immature apes, as will smaller seal bulls who have haven’t had much luck with the more well developed ladies.
Though the home truths brought out by scientific research into sexuality have provoked widespread controversy, they represent an important step towards the realisation that, in the animal kingdom at least, almost anything goes. The taboos that pervade human society just don’t seem to matter. Whether you’re male, female, gay, straight, faithful, promiscuous, it’s all good, and it’s certainly all natural. Perhaps my early learning with Pat Benatar was wrong after all. It’s society’s expectations and conceptions of sexuality that are the real battlefield. Love? Well, that’s another story.

Uni scientists find ancient relics

0

Oxford scientists in Morocco have uncovered the earliest examples of human jewellery ever found.

The 82,000 year-old artefacts were found by a team in Taforalt, Northern Morocco, under the direction of Professor Nick Barton of Oxford’s Archaeological Institute.

Professor Barton said, "We’ve recently confirmed the date of these very ancient objects. The jewellery is 40,000 years older than the earliest examples of jewellery previously uncovered in Europe.

Where did it all go wrong for… Oxford’s toilets?

0

In 1379 New College built a cesspit of such epic proportions that it took 300 years worth of students’ waste to fill it. Yet since then the history of Oxford’s sewage has been less… well, just less. Despite the eminent men and women who have frequented Oxford’s facilities over the years, the toilet has not even a footnote in the twisted and tangled history of the town.

Oxford’s toilets have served as humble thrones, not only for the cream of British academia, but also for royalty. Yet many a blue plaque adorns the places where Charles I must have relieved himself or where Queen Victoria was probably unamused. Indeed, the toilet which was most recently marked out for royal buttocks, a nice little cubicle done up by Univ in 2004 in preparation for a visit from the Queen and labeled the ‘Queen’s toilet’ (apparently we don’t go in for subtlety much round here), is a rather unassuming specimen. It now serves as the vomiting hole for victims of that ever salubrious game, Edward Ciderhands. It seems that, as the most accessible from the quad, it is also the one easiest to stumble into. Certainly a proud legacy.

Perhaps it is unsurprising that Oxford’s toilets are so unsung. What have they really got to recommend them? They’re not old and charming like the buildings, since, let’s be honest, wood panelled plumbing to go along with your wood panelled room would seriously damage its retail value. So what we are stuck with is the bog standard. No-one has to muck out 300 years’ worth of waste anymore, but no-one’s writing home about it either. Has the flush stopped our toilets from leaving their mark in the history books? Or maybe it’s just that there’s no academic eccentric enough to dedicate their life to researching latrines when, let’s face it, bar the odd over-proportioned one, they’re all pretty much the same.

But hang on a moment. Why on earth should toilets have any recognition? They’re not exactly novel, they serve a universal and timeless purpose. In fact, they’re not all that interesting; they have a prescribed function and appearance and aside from the odd death from dysentery, illicit and tawdry meeting, or accidental drug overdose, what of interest could happen behind these closed doors?

But let’s not digress. This is about toilets, not sex and drugs. I’ve even managed too avoid shit jokes, so no lowering the tone now. Perhaps the odd scandal does occur in Oxford’s toilets; certainly gossip is recorded there, thanks to the all knowing bog sheet. Even this, however, is a dying trend as colleges crack down on these toilet tabloids, labelling them as anti-semitic bullying forums. No great loss for literature; indeed the reading material in Oxford’s toilets leaves a lot to be desired, however intellectual those who graffiti the walls of the English faculty loos think they are.

Still, let’s be fair and give our toilets their dues. They’re not all modernized and boring. In the Turf you still have to trek to an outhouse to relieve yourself. It’s a charming design feature I’m sure, but in my opinion it just goes to show how much we would really appreciate it if we did still have historic toilets to match our historic surroundings. I personally refused to pee in the Turf until desperation drove me to it on the third visit. That may just have been me. Nonetheless, it is perhaps better for us all that Oxford’s toilets have remained unimportant in history and thus unimportant to conservation projects.
The real truth is that Oxford’s toilets have been marginalized, not because they are unimportant (any social anthropologist will tell you that human patterns of waste disposal are integral to an understanding of their way of life) but because although the British love a good poo joke, they quickly lose their sense of humour when the joke is on them. Oxford’s toilets may have seen the buttocks of many a great man and woman, but few want their activities in these lowly outhouses recorded. Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford during the reign of Elizabeth I, exiled himself for seven years out of sheer embarrassment after he farted in front of the queen. Imagine his chagrin had he been caught with his trousers down on the loo. So Oxford’s toilets are the victim of a very different British character trait: the struggle for propriety. Some things just shouldn’t be mentioned.

Beatles cover launched online

0

The Oxford Dictionary of National Biography (ODNB) is launching an online exhibition to mark the 40th anniversary of the Beatles’ Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album.

The exhibition features the lives of over 40 people who appear on the album cover. The iconic cover includes famous individuals such as Karl Marx, Marilyn Monroe and Lewis Carroll.

The collection of biographies is available throughout June and July, alongside around 56,000 articles on influential figures in British history.