What books are currently on your bedside table?

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon; Just Like Mother Used to Make by Tom Norrington-Davis; Little Women by Louisa May Alcott; A People’s History of Britain by Rebecca Fraser.

“Hefner never believed Playboy was an art magazine”. As surprising revelations go, this is more 32AA than 36DD. Yet this is the introductory eyeopener to the 50th anniversary photo selection from the famous lads’ mag. The magazine’s enduring subtitle says it all: “Entertainment for Men”.Playboy is, above all else, the promiscuous pimp daddy of soft-core porn and furtive puerile joys. Or is it? The more I guiltily ogle the astounding selection offered by this book, the more I become convinced that Hugh Hefner, king of dirty old men, is mistaken. Could Playboyreally be an art magazine? The commentary’s pretentious hype aside (“The rules were simple: there were no rules”), this volume is actually packed tighter than Jordan’s bra with remarkable photography. I know the women are selected for their tremendous beauty (from Marilyn Monroe to Cindy Crawford, Hefner certainly knows a nice pair when he sees one), but it’s impossible to deny the photographic skill. A nude Naomi Campbell sprawled among assorted fruits is an unusual piece of art, but it is only one of many centrefolds which provoke a reaction more art-critic than pervy-teenager. The commentary is, for once, correct: “In these pictures, special women become extraordinary”. This compendium tastefully brings Playboy down from the top shelf.
Chronicle Books,
28th November 2003,
Hardback, £29.99
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Short stories are funny things. I had never read any Byatt before and was, I confess, dubious about reviewing her new collection for the worthy readers of Cherwell.My suspicions were unfounded. The first story tells of two middleaged women retracing childhood steps to confront their demons, as fact and memory merge. Prosthetics are used in her next tale, an examination of artistic morality, as well as a perfectly judged investigation into human relationships. The third story follows a woman’s metamorphosis from grief-stricken mourner to creature of stonesand gems. The fourth presents itself as a meditation on the act of writing, throughout which Byatt’s ideas are sustained by an effortless style. The final tale, aptly, looks at human decline into senility, and includes the unprecedented appearance of the Teletubbies and the Aeneid on the same page. The ongoing theme in all five stories is what is left behind, a concept that Byatt uses to draw in questions of memory and to examine the artistic process. Byatt uses words expertly, with sharp images and lyrical turns of phrase – take, for example, “One morning pain struck her like a sudden beak.”The only flaw I can suggest is a minor one of vocabulary. Does anyone really say “bust” any more? Likewise, “sex” (as in “her hands on his sex,”) sounds rather too DH Lawrence for my liking. But these are churlish comments. Byatt’s writing is marvellous. Her tone is graceful (think Angela Carter without the excess) and strikes a perfect balance between narrative and description. Each story stands out as original and refreshing, fitting together just enough to generate atmosphere while avoiding co-dependence. As the title suggests, each one is deliciously dark. The writing is masterful. It really is that simple. Chatto and Windus,
6th November 2003
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Blues Rugby captain John Allen surveyed the past term and declared “This was the year to become more expansive”. The MMC Trophy may have narrowly eluded Allen’s squad, but the Australian pronounced Michaelmas a resounding success and sees an exciting future for Oxford rugby at a time when the sport needs to capitalise on its increasing profile.

Allen believes that the draw at Twickenham, in which the Blues outshone Cambridge with their handling but ran up against a dogged defence, may have pointed the way towards an era of open, entertaining Varsity rugby. “This season we implemented a new attacking style, which broke with trend. All of the players bought into that, and it’s a style which suits the players and resources which we have. There is a real belief in the club that to be successful you need to be expansive”.

The aftermath of the Twickenham encounter saw the Light Blues criticised in some quarters for their early-kicking, defensive approach. Allen was quick to point out that Oxford’s opponents had not enjoyed the ideal preparation: “They were disrupted early in the season with injuries and had to make the best of what they had, and that’s what they did. Hopefully the Varsity match will evolve so that both teams throw the ball around, but with desire to win. It’s vital that the public see an entertaining spectacle”.

The Blues’ flowing, technical brand of rugby was not confined merely to the Varsity match. Victories over London Irish and Bath served as evidence of the team’s ability. Allen was delighted with the side’s build-up and saw the pre-season tour of Argentina as a time at which many things began to fall together. “We learned a lot. Our set-pieces and lineouts were strong and dominant and this carried on into the term. Our scrum was outstanding and took that form all the way into the Varsity”. 

Allen’s optimism for the future was especially evident when he cast his eye over the Under 21 side, who defeated their Cambridge counterparts by adhering to exactly the style that is rapidly becoming the culture within the club as a whole. “There are many who can make the step up. They have been playing an open brand of rugby for some time and there is a lot of great potential there”.

Some of the younger players should get the chance to stake their claim this term, in a fixture list which includes matches scheduled against the Army, RAF and Navy as well as sides from Ireland, Japan and South Africa.

As the Blues look to build upon the rapid strides which proved evident at Twickenham, their progress should be well worth following as rugby continues to make an unprecedented impact in the national headlines following England’s World Cup victory.

Archive: 0th week HT 2004

Labour MPs, members of the Opposition, and opponents of topup fees all come in for withering criticism in an ex-Pembroke Master’s recently published treatise on higher education, ‘University to Uni’.Estelle Morris, Former Education Secretary, is seen as “a sweet but ineffective former comprehensive school teacher, with little understanding of, or interest in, universities”. Author Robert Stevens also
suggests that Gordon Brown lacks sufficient charisma to replace Tony Blair, while he calls Margaret Hodge “a former member of the loony left”. Speaking to Cherwell, Stevens stood by his comments, adding that Hodge “used to fly the red flag over Islington town hall”.Nor do the Tories escape the onslaught. Stevens argues that Michael Howard’s opposition to topup fees is a cynical ploy to gain votes, “bribing the affluent members of society and the middle-classes” and is inconsistent with Conservative policies. He also accuses the Tories of crippling universities by having failed to provide sufficient funds.Stevens argues that defeat for Blair over top-up fees would be disastrous for Oxford in particular, “If you want serious universities, you have to put in the money,” he told Cherwell. Without funds from students themselves, he warns, Oxford risks “dumbing down”, losing its best academics to the United States, cutting courses, and being forced to recruit foreign students in place of Britons. He argued that if student opponents of top-up fees get its way, Oxford “will become an even bigger joke than German and French universities”.
Archive: 0th week HT 2004

 Blues footballers enjoyed a tour of Prague as they looked to limber up for the second half of the BUSA season. Arran Yentob’s side put a total of ten goals without reply past their two Czech opponents, who could have suffered much further had impressive build-up play not been marred by wasteful finishing.

The first game saw a youthful FC Umbro, who were dispatched 6–0. Nat Armstrong notched his first Blues hat-trick and Paul Hackwell, Sam Aylott and Craig Adams were also on the mark against opponents who were dwarved in size as well as technique. The next day saw a 4–0 victory over a physically stronger FC Ave.

In the BUSA league, the Blues lie in the relegation zone, although their work last term was hardly aided by a spate of injuries. With the defence performing creditably, Yentob will be most concerned by the fact that his forwards have only notched seven goals to date, and will hope that the scoring spree on tour will have boosted confidence.

Hilary opens with a fixture against Nottingham Trent which is followed by a home match with De Montfort.

Archive: 0th Week HT 2004

Oxford 11

Cambridge 11In the 72nd minute, Cambridge winger and fresher, Charlie Desmond, lived up to his billing as the “speedster” and “bolter” of the side with the try that retained the MMC Trophy in the 14th draw in Varsity Match history. However, though Cambridge settled early on, Oxford were utterly dominant for the majority of the second half
and will rue their failure to put the game beyond the Light Blues when they had the chance. As Director of Rugby Steve Hill said afterwards, “One team came to play today, but fair play to the other, they certainly defended
well.”After a nervy first minute in which Oxford nearly scored, Cambridge found their rhythm and, holding a solid line upfield, began to punish Oxford’s forwards who were too slow to the breakdown. Two rucks, in the 6th and 18th minutes, both led to penalties which Daffyd Lewis duly converted. Perhaps even more worryingly for Oxford, Graham Barr, a scrum half by trade, was forced to fill in for the unfortunate John Fennell at fly-half after the latter tore a hip flexor muscle. However, by the end of the half, Oxford had gained an 8–6 lead, and appeared to be shading the game overall. Until the 34th minute, Cambridge’s defence held firm and infuriated Oxford in a physical, attritional battle. Then,
however, the pressure finally told, as John Bradshaw made a minibreak on the left and laid inside to
captain John Allen. Allen passed back to Ryan O’Mahoney who in turn fed prop Henry Nwume a few
yards from the left touchline.Nwume still had plenty of work to o but shrugged off a challenge and burst, bloody-minded, for the line, touching down through one final desperate Cambridge body. The Dark Blues’ lead arrived through an injury-time penalty
from O’Mahoney, after left-winger Adam Slade had superbly outpaced 3 defenders and broken into a desperate Cambridge’s twentytwo. However, at half-time Cambridge had a right to feel aggrieved, as moments earlier the
touch judge had failed to spot the fact that a Lewis drop-goal attempt had clearly passed between the posts. For the first 30 minutes of the second half, Oxford were completely dominant in terms of territory and possession. “The fact that they didn’t get out of their half was testament to our game plan,” said Allen. However, Cambridge refused to give an inch, particularly in the tackle. The Dark Blue forwards kept hold of the ball, with
Canadian international Kevin Tkachuk notably outstanding, while the backs were patient; at times they were enterprising, with Barr working hard to fill Fennell’s boots. Allen and Bradshaw both came agonisingly close to the line before a magnificent break by tough-tackling Man of the Match Adam Magro through the centre
nearly laid in Matt Street for a try.Though there was a suspicion of a forward pass, Cambridge gave away a penalty in the ensuing desperate
scramble under the posts, and O’Mahoney extended Oxford’s lead from the kick.  After Allen, nearing the line,
knocked on in the 67th minute, Cambridge gained some respite, and after a well-run loose ball was fed to Desmond, he dodged a tackle with brutal speed to finish in the corner. In the last minutes Oxford were generally on the back foot, but a wayward drop-goal attempt was the closest the Light Blues came to winning outright.Archive: 0th Week HT 2004