Saturday, May 10, 2025
Blog Page 65

Oxford graduates earn more than other universities

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Newly released figures show that University of Oxford graduates earn more than those from other universities. Department for Education figures reveal that Oxford graduates are the highest earners in the South-East, and among the highest nationally. 

Oxford graduates earn on average £46,000 five years after graduating, data from the 2021 to 2022 tax year reveals – significantly higher than the South-East average of £29,600 a year.  

Oxford Law graduates had the highest pay of any course, earning on average £64,600 five years after graduating. On the other hand, the course with the lowest paid graduates is Creative Arts, with £26,300 a year. For comparison, the highest and lowest earning Brookes graduates were paid £45,300 and £19,700 a year on average. 

According to the Oxford University Careers Service told Cherwell, a recent survey by the Careers Service of recruiters at Oxford reported that on all eight measures of employability, Oxford applicants are seen as “better” or “much better” than the average UK applicant. Around 93% of leavers had a “positive outcome”, meaning they are in further study or high-skilled/self-employment – putting Oxford fourth of all universities in the country. 

The data also shows there is a 12% gap between male and female Oxford graduates’ salaries five years after graduating, with male Oxford graduates earning £49,300 and female graduates earning £43,500, on average. As per the Organisation of Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD), the UK gender pay gap was 14.5% in 2022, putting it 12th highest among OECD countries. 

Oxford University Careers Service told Cherwell: “There are gaps in pay: on average, men earn more than women, and BAME earn more than white students; however, this can be an effect of the industry sectors that men and BAME work in, compared with women and white students. The gaps reduce when the effect of the industry sector is included. What the careers Service and university can do… is to encourage all students to explore all sectors.”

Additionally, according to an analysis by the Telegraph, in certain subjects an Oxford or Cambridge degree can boost graduates’ annual salary substantially. The subjects with the ‘Oxbridge premium’ salaries include Computing, Law, Mathematical Sciences, and Economics. According to the Telegraph’s analysis, Oxford graduates earn more than double their peers from other universities in some of these subjects. 

Still, the Tab found that in some subjects non-Russell Group university graduates’ can earn as much as Oxbridge graduates. For instance, medicine graduates from The University of Dundee earn £46,000 five years after graduating, while Oxford graduates earn slightly less at £41,200.

A Eulogy for Tommy

Ea! It’s so cold! I cried from me bed
when I pulled down the coovers an raised up me ed
to see bright rays of sunlight
stream into me room,
and fill it with joy where before there were gloom.

I pocked out a toe an pulled it back oonder
and felt our kid Jack ad made a great bloonder,
cuz outside t’were all glorious
an no cloud were in sight,
but inside t’was bloody freezing
cuz the heating were shite.

In the car, fooking ell, I won’t say it were nice,
with the screen all glazed up with crystalized ice.
We turned on the wipers an one snapped in haff,
if I adn’t ad cried I could ave well laughed.

But the day soon got better an I dried up me tears
when Sam bought a round for the first time in years
in the Old Speckled Hen,
what a fine poob that is,
with a slip of a barmaid named Jolly-Faced Jen.

They ad a warm fire wiv coal an big logs,
and even dead Tommy could bring in is dogs
to sit by the arth
and whimper and whine
til Jolly-Faced Jen would say it were time.

Then we’d get our long coats and Bill with is scarf
wrapped round is thick ed an the dogs by the arth
would look up in blithe ope at the thought of a bone
dead Tommy might nick from a bin by is ome.

Oxford ball-goers first in line for media’s guillotine

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A couple days after attending Brasenose Ball with my friends, I received a surprise notification from a group chat that I had suspected would now lie dormant and untouched. I had assumed that the group chat, used to coordinate plans for the ball and upload photos, would fade into obscurity – a remnant of an unforgettable night now immortalised in both my memory and camera roll. Instead, two days later, a single, unexpected photo appeared on the chat. It came accompanied by a brief message: “You made it to the Daily Mail”.

The photo itself isn’t bad; it’s quite a good photo, in fact, and more flattering than some others in the article. Just after the ball’s denouement at 5am, in a concoction of drunken bliss and delirium as dawn crept in, I took a few photos of a couple of my friends outside of the Rad Cam, seizing the priceless moment of a library devoid of tourists while light suffused over the building. Moments before this, I remember seeing a man with a professional camera, lingering expectantly, but I had merely passed him off as inconsequential, assuming he was a ball photographer.

With the group chat now resurrected, reaction varied considerably: amusement towards the notion of us getting papped; immense relief that it was one of the kinder photos that had been featured; skepticism towards whether he had asked us for consent to take the photos and let them be published. (Our somewhat hazy recollections left us confused as to whether he had asked.)

The article itself wasn’t entirely Oxford-centric, instead exploring the various ways that people throughout the UK had spent the bank holiday weekend in Blackpool, Birmingham and Leeds. Nevertheless, subtext wasn’t exactly required to understand the chasm that the writer was emphasising between the “casual looking groups of partygoers eating greasy late-night snacks” elsewhere and the “revellers in Oxford […] making their way home from prestigious balls”. Everything from attire to food was contrasted, depicting Oxford as a swaggering social hub, reminiscent of glittering, Gatsby-esque party scenes in stark contrast to the more raucous and conventional celebrations of pub crawls and clubbing at other locations. This sort of divide was reinforced by the article’s comment section, who seemed eager to stress the “dash of elegance” that tinged Oxford’s events compared to the “kebab noshing on the streets” of Birmingham (when they weren’t making vulgar observations about body types and sizes).

Media depictions like this, setting Oxford at odds with other universities, reinforce stereotypes of Oxford that vastly exaggerate the reality of things. Whilst I’m not denying that going to Oxford offers privileged opportunities, other universities also hold their own black-tie events with similar attire and entertainment. Oxford students are still students and so, for the most part, clubbing, pub crawls and other less sophisticated forms of entertainment remain staples of their university life. We regularly flock to Hussain’s in ritualistic fashion after a night spent at Atik – not the most glam venue in the world.

The media’s narrative that pedestalises Oxford and solely associates it with poshness and prestige is a caricature of the typical experience. It unjustly represents the majority of students who don’t align with these archetypes and broader media depictions surrounding Oxford have only fuelled this fire. Movies such as Saltburn, released in 2023 (and which is set at Brasenose College), have contributed to these unrealistic depictions of Oxford life. Fictional elements from the film may contain kernels of realism, but for the greater part are exaggerated and embellished in order to enhance the plot and drama of the movie. ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ being played at least ten times across the night further attests to this sensationalised vision of Oxford. The media feeds on confining Oxford to this state of unwavering poshness, tying its tradition, reputation and history together to characterise rare occasions like these as routine hallmarks of Oxford life. By doing so, it fails to recognise that most of the students here, are in actual fact, not that dissimilar from those elsewhere.

This isn’t to say that glaring issues shouldn’t be exposed and rectified; Pembroke ball tickets costing nearly £450 means that the ball is inaccessible for the vast majority of students. Exorbitant prices like these alienate students and generate justified outcry, whilst propagating preconceptions of Oxford’s poshness and elitism. Elitist societies of the past, such as the Bullingdon Club, warranted strong condemnation for their discrimination and reprehensible behaviour. However, the media’s current narrative that isolates Oxford students from typical student life by painting them all with the same brush is an inaccurate portrayal of the real Oxford experience for most, where balls and secret societies are few and far between in the academic calendar.

While others may be cringing at the state of some of the less generous photos, I find it amusing how a relatively unremarkable picture of a student taking photos of their friends constitutes the attention of national news. The Daily Mail making a spectacle out of normal students ironises the whole matter really; at the end of the day, at least I know that my own photography skills are clearly worthy of national fascination.

P.G. Wodehouse’s Ukridge at 100

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It is unfortunate that P.G. Wodehouse’s reputation in Oxford takes such a blow from his being a popular favourite among OUCA members. Still, he ought to be more widely read for his indefatigable wit and his gift for plotting, metaphor, and comic characters. Many of his admirers will tell you that they were not born Wodehouse fans, but happened to read one of his books and were so delighted that they went on to plough through the remaining hundred “like a bullet through a cream puff”, and if you read the right Wodehouse books you will see what they mean.

I would draw the line short of those of his admirers who compare him without irony to Shakespeare. Inevitably for one who wrote so much (about a hundred books in a career that lasted from the Edwardian era to the 1970s) Wodehouse produced many duds. The worst of his novels are formulaic and, once you have read more than a handful, the jokes start to repeat themselves. This is even truer of the short stories. Though he wrote dozens of stories about Golf, Mr Mulliner, Bingo Little, and the Drones Club, all of them are more or less the same story repeated again and again. The only one of his memorable characters who breaks the mould, who manages to be funny and unique and thoroughly underrated, is Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge.

Ukridge’s first ten adventures were collected in book form a hundred years ago this week. As a personality he probably owes something to the likeable scoundrels of Dickens’ novels – Jingle, Micawber, and others – although he also owes a great deal to A.J. Raffles, the gentleman thief of E.W. Hornung’s stories. At any rate he is the most unique character within Wodehouse’s own corpus. He is the only memorable one who is not rich and who never gets within signpost distance of a country-house. He is perpetually broke, and it is far more enjoyable to read about the schemes of a down-and-out scoundrel than the worries of an earl or a gentleman of leisure. If he is the most realistic and revisitable of Wodehouse’s characters, that is probably because he was the only one drawn from a specific personality (one Carrington Craxton) instead of from a caricature or a stereotype.

Most of the Ukridge stories concern get-rich-quick schemes, like a dog college (“I don’t see why eventually dog owners shouldn’t send their dogs to me as a regular thing, just as they send their sons to Eton and Winchester”); or an accident syndicate in which his friend fakes a car accident in order to nab the insurance money. All of the schemes end in disaster, but the background to that disaster, where the fatal seeds are planted and how they coalesce into a grand comic finale, is what makes each of the adventures so enjoyable.

Ukridge himself, with his yellow mackintosh and hearty optimism, is such marvellous company, and his relationship with the sarcastic narrator Corky is so charged, that personalities alone make the stories worth reading. The regular supporting characters are equally good fun. There is George Tupper, a schoolfriend at the Foreign Office; Bowles, the landlord who has an inexplicable soft spot for Ukridge; and Aunt Julia, fearsome aunt and popular novelist whose tense presence is never dull.

The few romantic stories featuring Ukridge are different from Wodehouse’s usual fare because they lack his usual sentimentality. Instead Ukridge gets his comeuppance, and everything comes crashing down into disaster. In “No Wedding Bells for Him”, he meets a girl in Clapham and ends up staying so long in her house for the free food that they become engaged; the relationship then ends with a fake heart attack, disinheritance by an aunt, and the return of a long-fought pawnbroker.

Ukridge’s funniest adventure, A Bit of Luck for Mabel (whose title can only be appreciated once you have read the story, and whose opening section contains some of the most crackling banter that the author ever penned) does not actually appear in the original book, and anyone who wants to read it can find it in Eggs, Beans and Crumpets. Otherwise, the ten best outings are those collected in Ukridge (1924), every page of which gleams with the personality of a great man, a manipulator, a visionary, a disaster, an optimist and a scoundrel.

In The Beginning

I was alone with the earth and the sun
before you came along: there was no life, not
then, not even song. My hope had been lost to
the breeze, dreams strung up on imagined pop
lar trees. Before bees, before Ramses. You we
re still nebular then, too embryonic to be captu
red by the tip of my fountain pen so I was left to
despair, to beat hard ground until it yielded love
somewhere. This was before the Lord’s prayer,
before Lord. And I swear I cried gold on the day
the moon broke its mould and released you. Out
of the strata of the rock and the bacteria of yet un
invented livestock, you came forth:
my new sun.

The definitive Oxford smoothie review

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With summer comes smoothie weather, and Oxford offers a plethora of fruity delights. Coming from a place where a small smoothie is twice the price of the most expensive one here, being able to get something cold and fruity from a cafe on a hot day makes even the worst day of exam revision better. Take this article as an ode to the refreshing smoothie, and some of my favourite places to get them. There are definitely more smoothie places that remain unreviewed – go searching around on a hot day, and who knows, maybe you’ll find the smoothie of your dreams. 

Taylor’s, 8/10

I’ve don’t think I’ve had a smoothie at Taylor’s since MT22 and don’t remember whether I liked the ones I had, but the Deputy Editor for Food, Gracie (shoutout), loves their passionfruit smoothie because it has no banana in it; the Tesco smoothies (which I feel look a little too powdery to seem appetising), a former love of hers, do contain banana. Important information for those no longer able to eat banana. The options at Taylor’s are certainly decent, and the price is not outrageous for a decent smoothie. 

Joe and the Juice, 5/10

Joe and the Juice is a throwback to my NYC smoothie era. It certainly sells smoothies, but it is extremely expensive and not worth the price. Go somewhere else instead. Who goes to Westgate for a smoothie anyway?

Oxford Brunch Bar, 6/10

I had a smoothie here at my very first brunch, and it was fine. Just a normal berry smoothie. A bit too much blueberry to strawberry, and £4.90 really is a lot for a small mug of smoothie. You may as well get two bags of frozen fruit and blend it yourself for the same price.

Art Cafe, 6/10

Art Cafe doesn’t have bad smoothies; their mango, passion fruit, and banana smoothie taste pretty good. I’ve also heard good things about their kale smoothie, though I’ve never had it. But note: they are expensive, at £5.95. For a similar price, you could buy their açaí bowl instead – a decent portion size, and it’ll actually fill you up!

Moo-Moo’s, 9/10

Moo-Moo’s is an essential stop when getting food in the Covered Market. Covered with filled-up loyalty cards and packed to the brim, you have the option to make a smoothie with quite literally anything you’d like. I like the Annabelle special (just over £4 for a large) with apple juice and mango, but have somehow only ever requested the watermelon smoothie when they’re sold out – try it if you can! 

Cafe Crème, 10/10

I love Cafe Crème. It is seriously the best place for smoothies in Oxford. They have a mango pear smoothie (my fave), an açaí berry smoothie, and even their strawberry banana smoothie doesn’t feel too bad. Their green and fruity smoothies (combined with a good price, just £3 with a student discount) pairs amazingly with a cheap sandwich at lunchtime. And Cafe Crème has loyalty cards – I’ve filled up at least two. I can think of nothing wrong with this place, except that they have not yet given me a lifetime supply of free smoothies (but there’s always time).

Honourable mentions: college cafes

St Anne’s Coffee Shop, 8/10. I recently visited to try the mango banana smoothie. For less than £2, I got a decently sized drink, refreshing at a sip and with a taste that was not too sweet, but not too sour. Although I could still taste chunks of banana, it wasn’t an issue for me. My thoughts? Underrated – and good for my chronic smoothie addiction.

Kendrew Cafe, St John’s College, 7.5/10. I’ve only been a few times, but I always enjoy the coconut and mint smoothie. Their berry smoothies are nice and sweet, but the portion sizes are too small for £2.35. Still, as a college cafe, it’s much cheaper than the scary outside world (and you get a decent drink)!

Thames Water pay nearly £5 million for sewage clean up in Oxfordshire this year

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Thames Water, the UK’s largest waste and wastewater company, has revealed that they have spent £4.7 million in Oxfordshire to clean up sewage overflows in the past financial year. In response to an Environmental Information Regulations request submitted by the Liberal Democrats, the organisation also revealed that across its network, the total cost of clean up came up to £30 million. 

The Cassington and Witney sewage treatment works located upstream of Port Meadow have been the site of clean-up efforts by the company. Expenditure is focused on the use of tankers which clean spills caused by burst pipes, broken pumps, and overwhelmed sewage systems. A spokesperson from Thames Water said: “while all discharges are unacceptable, the sewage system was historically designed in this way, to relieve pressure and prevent overflow into people’s homes.”

Concerns about wastewater treatment and discharge have led to persistent criticisms of Thames Water’s management approach. Studies by the Oxford Rivers Improvement Campaign in 2022, found that 46 of the 90 sewage treatment works across the Upper Thames lacked the appropriate capacity, with over 85 billion litres of discharge being pumped into the river since 2020. Residents have suffered from these infrastructural issues, with those living in Lower Radley experiencing blocked drains for the past three years which overflow with sewage during heavy rains.

Layla Moran, parliamentary candidate for Oxford West and Abingdon commented: “This staggering figure shows just how misguided Thames Water’s investment strategy is… they are leaving sewage to overflow and then spending millions of pounds to clean up their own mess.”

Overflow and sewage discharge has also had significant impacts on recreation areas and facilities used by students. In January 2022, 350 protesters gathered in Port Meadow to call for an end to Thames Water’s dumping of sewage in local rivers and waterways. The #EndSewagePollution campaigns launched by these organisers led to an application by the City Council to give Oxford designated bathing water status.

The application was approved in April 2022 on the condition that its water quality is considered “fit to swim in” within five years. At this time, levels of E. coli in the waters were found by Professor Peter Hammond, former Professor of Computational Biology at UCL, to be at twice the healthy limit, primarily due to sewage discharge and overflow. In both 2022 and 2023, the area has been classified as having “poor” water quality in government reports

Thames Waters’ have pledged to increase investment in order to improve their facilities. From 2020 to 2025, they committed £1.25 billion to maintaining and improving operational sites, including the rivers across the Thames Valley in Oxfordshire, promising £15 million in upgrades to the Witney facility and aiming for a 50% reduction of Thames Valley discharges by 2030. 

St Antony’s GCR suspends alumni privileges of Columbia University President

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The Graduate Common Room (GCR) of Oxford University’s St Antony’s College voted to suspend the alumni privileges of Dame Baroness Minouche Shafik, the current Columbia University president who called the police on her students. Shafik earned a DPhil at St Antony’s, an all-graduate college of Oxford. 

The motion notes that Shafik’s reactions to Columbia students’ protests has been “widely criticised as appalling.” One of its citations includes a video where “the NYPD can be seen throwing the body of a student down a flight of stone steps.” The police made over 200 arrests in Columbia University.

St Antony’s GCR motion states: “Minouche Shafik’s handling of the student protests is contrary to the values of free speech, human rights, and ethical leadership that our University upholds. Our college community has a responsibility to take a stand against actions by alumni that undermine these fundamental principles.”

The motion, passed on May 30th, will formally request that St Antony’s College suspend the alumni privileges of Shafik, which includes a yearly free high table dinner, and forbid her from visiting college premises, speaking at college events, and attending alumni events.

A spokesperson of St Antony’s College told Cherwell that the motion will be discussed in the Governing Body, so the College cannot comment on it at this moment. The spokesperson said: “At present, our main concern is with the welfare of our students, both those who are engaged in protest and those who are not, particularly those who are immersed in their academic work at the end of the year.”

Columbia Students for Justice in Palestine told Cherwell: “We stand in solidarity with the students at Oxford and across the globe calling for divestment from genocide and apartheid, and we welcome the motion to suspend the alumni privileges of the Baroness [Shafik].”

“Even prior to her brutal treatment of peaceful protestors, she had threatened academic freedom to an unprecedented degree, opting to fire professors for speaking about settler-colonialism in Palestine and objective history but overlook prolonged, pervasive stalking and harassment by Zionist professors. Someone who chooses to invest in the destruction of every University in Gaza, as well as import violence and authoritarianism onto her own campus, has absolutely no place in academia.”

Israr Khan wins Oxford Union presidency

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Israr Khan has been elected Oxford Union President for Hilary Term 2025 with 617 first preferences against opponent Izzy Horrocks-Taylor’s 393 first preferences. The margin is significantly wider than in the Union’s previous two elections, when the top two candidates only differ by a handful of votes. 

Rachel Haddad Moskalenko, Moosa Harraj, and Siddhant Nagrath won the elections for Librarian, Treasurer, and Secretary respectively.

The Union faced significant controversy this week after the disqualification of previous President-elect Ebrahim Osman-Mowafy caused allegations against the Union’s tribunal process for disproportionally “targeting diverse representatives.”

Khan’s campaign focused on combating “institutional racism” within the Union, while Horrocks-Taylor’s campaign emphasised “female representation on committees and in our term cards.”

Subsequently, three of the Union’s committees – the Standing Committee, Secretary’s Committee, and Consultative Committee – all declared the Oxford Union “institutionally racist”. During Thursday’s debate, 17 Union Committee members threatened to resign as part of a protest in favour of Osman-Mowafy’s reinstatement. 

Two of the Union’s last three president-elects were ultimately disqualified before assuming office. In the third election, the candidate, Hannah Edwards, ran unopposed.

Following his victory, Khan told Cherwell: “I am incredibly grateful to the members of the Oxford Union for placing their trust in me by electing me as President and to my team for believing in me. This election was crucial, especially during such challenging times. There is a significant amount of work ahead, and I am committed to leading the Union on a more inclusive path and restoring its relevance. Thank you for your support, and together, we will make a meaningful difference.”

Candidates elected to the Standing Committee, in order of most votes to least, are: Anya Trofimova, Sarah Rana, Hamza Hussain, George Abaraonye, Ben Murphy, and Raza Nazar. Candidates elected to the Secretary’s Committee are: Tobe Onyia, Veer Sangha, Akshay Nagpal, Boldi Paladi-Kovacs, Zarin Fariha, Michael Leslie, Katherine Yang, Makkunda Sharma, Benjamin Masters, Sophia Giblett, and Jennifer Yang.

This term’s election saw 1187 valid votes cast, a small increase from last election, which saw 1158 cast. It continues a trend of increasing turnout: 987 were cast in MT23 and 590 in TT23. 

Israr Khan will be the third Pakistani President of the Oxford Union and the first to come from the Balochostin province. He was congratulated on his election win by Pakistani Prime Minister, Shehbaz Sharif, on X. Sharif said: “I join the people of Pakistan in extending heartiest congratulations to Israr Khan for being elected President of Oxford Union for Hiliary Term 2025… You have made the entire nation proud!” In response, Khan expressed his gratitude for the “overwhelming support and kind words” and assured that he “will make sure to use this platform for good.” 

The Oxford Imps Game Show (Live) review: ‘If improv is risky, here you’re in safe hands’

Bad improv makes me nervous. Nervous that the performer will drop the ball, lose their train of thought, or say something outright unfunny. And the Imps (Oxford’s “premiere improvised comedy group”) certainly set the stakes high, incorporating a huge amount of variables and audience participation into their game show format, itself a tribute to the excitement of the bygone era of The Generation Game and Wheel of Fortune. Luckily, they delivered a hilarious and at times wacky show that kept the audience engaged throughout. 

The show featured a contest between two audience members chosen at random to win a ‘bag of favours’ to which each audience member had contributed at the door. Favours included everything from baking tips to mediocre sex, so there was a lot to play for. The two contestants (one of whom was my friend who was shattered from cycling 60 kilometres earlier in the day) were subjected to a range of comedic tasks, including pretending to be a bin, limboing under an invisible bar, and guessing the flavours of soups that had been mixed together. Too bad that the final challenge – a spin on the wheel of fortune – yielded the wrong result and so the bag of favours (surreally and inexplicably) had to be destroyed by a blender in the show’s closing action. 

The two hosts (Billy Morton and Fuaad Coovadia) manage to capture something of the loud, moustachioed, 70s television man – from asking contestants banal opening questions to making wry remarks on their progress through the show. The improvised, melodramatic disagreement between the two in the show’s ‘ad break’ was especially amusing and gave the show something of an underlying narrative. They were supported by Lili Herbert, who provides ironic musical backing (and cutting sarcastic asides), contributing contestants’ challenges of her own and improvising songs from a title of their choosing. Theo Breakspear’s lighting and sound invite the audience to immerse themselves in the atmosphere of the game show studio in all its emphatic, overcooked glory. 

But the stars of the show are the Imps who represent each contestant in a serious of ridiculous ‘minigames’. Sol Woodroffe, Leonard Ho, Basakran Sripathmanathan, and Sali Adams try to outdo each other in their level of sheer ad-lib silliness and quick-thinking bravado. They variously create diss tracks of the contestants (some of which managed to actually rhyme), try to woo a retired civil servant picked from the audience, and also create pun-filled impromptu adverts for another audience member’s marketing business. There is so much that can go wrong – and they’re not always left with a lot to work with – and so the ability to consistently make people laugh on the spot is remarkable. The cast’s sense of professionalism – a fine line of managing the chaos and unpredictability – testifies to the high standards they keep. If improv is risky, here you’re in safe hands.