Saturday 2nd August 2025
Blog Page 784

Oxford’s obsession with public ‘wokeness’

0

Chances are, if you’re at Oxford, you have at some stage dealt in that most valuable of currencies: ‘wokeness’. When your university is constantly scrutinised for issues of access to BME or working class students, it often becomes a natural response from us, the young and revolutionary, to try transform the privilege of our education into a weapon with which to stick it to the man. These intentions are all very noble, but our obsession with constantly being socially aware, and more to the point, letting everyone know you’re socially aware, has turned activism into a performance more than anything else – ‘wokeness’ has become a commodity.

That’s not to say a sense of social justice is unnecessary – quite the contrary. In an environment as entrenched in colonial history as Oxford, where there is still a lingering association of privilege and exclusivity, individual social awareness is arguably an obligation. But it may be prudent to reevaluate what the motivation behind that social awareness, those activist impulses, actually is.

It doesn’t take a long or deep investigation to stumble upon examples of racism, homophobia, or classism at either institutional or localised levels in the University. Typically, these discoveries are met either with indifference or outrage, and those finding themselves indifferent are ultimately irrelevant to the question of any kind of activism, performative or otherwise.

It is that outrage that ought to be carefully unpicked – for some, this outrage emerges because they themselves have struggled against or find themselves affected by these instances of inequality or disparity. This is a straightforward, entirely justifiable outrage, the one that should be the major motivating factor behind anyone’s outcry.

The response to be wary of is the outrage – usually of those not directly affected by the issues at hand – fuelled by guilt, ego, or some cocktail of the two, an outrage that causes the bearer to look at injustice and disparity and see an opportunity: not to right wrongs or help others, but to play the hero, to demonstrate to the world how just and good you are.

I’m aware that sounds a somewhat harsh judgement. “After all,” you might ask, “isn’t it enough that these people are outraged at all? Shouldn’t you be glad they care enough to do something?” And to this I’d say: let go of the notion that doing ‘anything’ is helpful, that any and every little contribution (regardless of thought behind it) helps. It’s a social movement, and we need to hold ourselves to higher standard if we’re going to try to affect real change. When you’re dealing with an enemy as nebulous and pervasive as the issue of class, race, or otherwise identity-based inequality, you have to employ tactics, and think sensitively and critically about the effect you’re actually having.

The fact is, there are strategies people employ in their quest for ‘wokeness’ that are at best ineffectual, and at worst damaging to the causes they profess to help. Take call-out culture, for one. This is always a delicate one, because like many elements of performative activism, it probably started with good intentions. One of the primary rules of activism is never to remain passive or silent in the face of injustice – if you hear someone using an offensive slur, call them on it.

The problem with call-out culture arises when it descends from being educational into being pedantic, when its purpose shifts from correcting someone to humiliating them. It’s one thing to hear someone say something problematic and pull them aside during a quiet moment to explain to them the implication of their statement and why it ought not to be repeated. It’s quite another thing, however, to stop a group conversation and announce to someone how ignorant they are in front of the whole room.

Unfortunately, the latter seems to be infinitely more common. And the problem with this is that it is, above everything else, usually just unhelpful. It’s very easy, if you’re not directly affected by any of theisms, to forget that for better or for worse, the struggle to change societal norms is as much a political and tactical one as anything else. It may be arduous and unglamorous, but the reality is that for BME people or other minority groups, activism must often take the shape of working carefully to tackle far-spanning issues one facet at a time, incrementally and slowly.

As tempting as it may be, ‘dragging’ someone publicly isn’t going to make them magically more aware and sensitive, it’s not going to spark a sudden breakthrough wherein they suddenly begin to consider the overarching implications of the words they use as they connect to identity politics. More often than not, that kind of public calling out is just going to make them clam up and, to be honest, they’ll just think you’re a bit rude.

If we examine call-out culture further, I think it’s often true that people who jump to public call-outs are more often than not driven by their own desire to show the world how ‘woke’ and switched on they are. In being an activist, your main focus has to be the movement as a whole – you have to see the forest even if it means missing the trees.

Activism is a job, and sometimes it has to be a behind-the-scenes affair. You can’t (and often won’t) receive credit for the true and effective activism you take part in, but credit shouldn’t be your motivation in any case. If you can commit yourself to dedicated and thoughtful work helping to dismantle societally-ingrained structures of discrimination, then you’re exactly the kind of person the world needs.

If, however, your interest in activism revolves around the glory that comes from everyone around you knowing just how woke you are, then frankly you’re better off purchasing a ‘this is what a feminist looks like’ t-shirt and posting the selfies to your Tumblr followers while the hard work happens elsewhere.

@merascribbles

Final day of voting in Oxford SU president election

0

Today, the polls will close and the Oxford SU president and their team for the coming year will be announced.

This year sees a three-way race for the presidency, with Ellie Dibben, Hannah Taylor, and Joe Inwood all standing.

Hannah Taylor, an Economics and Management student from St Hugh’s College, was the co-chair of OULC last Trinity term, and has also been the charities representative for St Hugh’s JCR.

Taylor’s policies include the replacement of at least one of the termly Student Council meetings with a general assembly, which will allow non-delegates to attend. She also wishes to restart a partnership with the Brookes Union to have a safety bus to help students return from nights out safely.

Taylor also wants to coordinate action through JCR presidents on the Oxford Living Wage, the Preventing Prevent campaign, and prescription reimbursement.

She used her manifesto to emphasise the need for “solidarity” with University staff pushing for better working conditions.

Taylor told Cherwell: “The student union represents a student body of over 23 thousand students. This makes us potentially very powerful, if we can find a way to organise, come together and get things done.

“Organising like this is what I have spent a lot of my time at university doing. If any member of our union has an issue, we should cut away from the buzzwords and back them, by taking loud, visible action.”

Ellie Dibben, a history student at St Hilda’s, has previously been involved in the organisation of societies and campaigns in Oxford, including the SU’s LGBTQ+ campaign.

Dibben highlights “representation” as a key manifesto goal to act upon through further ‘implicit bias training’ for VPs and a general aim of improving the SU’s actions against hate crime.

Dibben also wishes to make the SU more inclusive for graduate students and to re-establish SU run social events, such as a club night.

They put particular emphasis on access, calling for further resistance to fee rises and the NSS survey, as well as easier access to hardship funds. Their approach to improving mental health-related issues is to undertake a student welfare survey and to create a better quality services for students.

Dibben told Cherwell: “Oxford SU faces a crisis of disengagement despite its amazing work behind the scenes. I’ll change this by offering real support in finding student housing, integrating graduate students’ needs and starting an Oxford SU club night.

“I also want to build on Oxford SU’s extensive work into improving mental health through implementing an annual welfare survey, improve the accessibility of hardship funds, fight fee rises and funding cuts, and seek to make the union more diverse through implicit bias and liberation training.”

Joe Inwood, a history student at Mansfield College, served as the college’s JCR president in 2017. He is also the current chair of the Oxford SU council.

Inwood’s manifesto emphasises making the publicity for mental health support better, and ‘improving the discussion’ about workload and stress in Oxford.

Inwood has emphasised a desire to protect the rights of European Union students as the Brexit process continues, as well as claiming that he would lead the SU in resisting tuition fee rises.

As president of his JCR, Inwood led a student resistance to his college’s approach to Prevent and has championed Mansfield’s access initiative through his time in Oxford.

He told Cherwell: “I’m running to open the SU and make it relevant and accessible to all. My priorities are student mental health, EU students’ rights, and resisting damaging higher education policies.

“I also want to promote student-led access efforts and support new students in their crucial first weeks here. I’m delighted to have received the endorsement of the Class Act campaign, and my aim is to lead an open SU that puts student interests at its heart.”

Online polls close on Friday 9th February at 6pm. The results will be announced during an event held on Friday evening at the Oxford Foundry.

The SU is also running an intercollege voting competition. The college with the highest weighted voter turnout will receive £300.

Bully takes on ticket touts

0

Cowley music venue The Bullingdon have decided to match IDs against the names on event tickets to prevent ‘ticket touts’ reselling them for profit.

Those who are caught re-selling tickets will be banned from the venue permanently.
The Bullingdon said in a statement: “Ticket touts are ruining music for the people who love it.

“The sellers often do not sell all the tickets that they have purchased this means that music lovers are being prevented from getting their hands on a ticket in the first place.”

The Bullingdon have also said that they will make midnight the last guaranteed entry for ticket holders.

After this time, they will sell up to capacity and operate a ‘one in one out policy’ for “those people who stand in the cold and rain for the music.”

Paul Williams, the general manager of the Bullingdon, told Cherwell: “I would like to add that this is not to prevent resales. As we know this happens where you want to go to an event, buy a ticket, then cannot go.

“Platforms such as OxTickets are great for this. What we are doing is purely to stop people buying up tickets then reselling at extortionate prices or sell the same ticket multiple
times. It becomes safe and fair.

“We are not here to stop real fans coming to shows or make it difficult for anyone except the touts.”

Students have expressed their concern at being unable to re-sell tickets if they find that they can’t make an event.

One music lover said: “It’s understandable why the Bully is doing what it is doing but it seems very punitive to suddenly de-legitimise certain platforms.”

Al Wakelin, the Somerville College student who founded Oxtickets, said: “Oxtickets’ only response to the statement by [the] Bullingdon is to encourage people to send their tickets to each other through the official means and to keep prices fair.

“This group was created, first and foremost, to give students and party-goers without tickets a chance to find one. This group was not created to encourage organised ticket touts.”

The Bullingdon have said that if fans are unable to change the name on their ticket, they can contact [email protected] and make an emergency arrangement.

Night Out: Drunk on funk at Cellar

0

ACS, The Isis and Cellar – what more could an Oxford student want to liven up their dismal third week of Hilary?

Having started early at the college bar, my friends and I were already anticipating a good night. We were a few shots down, and the sheer volume of people around us was a clear sign that the evening was going to be a good one.

Unfortunately, we soon realised that half of the drunken crowd populating the JCR were ditching us in favour of the illustrious Park End, because apparently the Oxford clubbing scene favours synthesised pop hits from the noughties to a night of funk and hip-hop. Go figure.

Regardless, we made our way to the club early, despite having already bought tickets, because we knew that the queue would be monumental, and weren’t really up for spending an hour the cold whilst dressed in appropriately edgy (read: skimpy) clothes.

However, having made our way down to the dingy alleyway just off of Cornmarket, we realised that our attempts had been futile. We’d been beaten to the club by at least thirty other Cellar fanatics, as eager for ‘tha funk’ as we were. We waited patiently for our turn, revelling in the body heat of random strangers pressed against us with their scratchy clothes, and definitely did not get shitty with the bouncers who, as I’m sure you know, are the most polite and courteous gentlemen in all of Oxford. Once we got in, however, it was well worth the wait. For some reason or another, the crowd was filled with people I knew, and I wandered from group to group experiencing (and recording) some of my friends’ greatest dance moves.

The dingy setting of the club was lit up by the sheer vivacity of the music, and the crowd were enjoy- ing themselves so much that they seemed to have almost forgotten that they were literally dancing in little more than a dirty base- ment with a bar (no hate – I love the claustrophobic vibes as much as the next person). My personal favourite moment of the night was when I was re-entering the club after a stint in the smoking area, and walked past a girl leaving the club while eating a banana.

Since then, I have decided to bring fresh produce with me to every club night, as a means of sustaining my drunken antics with the nourishment of delicious and nutritious snacks. All in all, it was certainly a night to remember.

LGBTQ+ Soc slams red free speech ranking

2

Oxford’s LGBTQ+ Society has condemned Spiked magazine’s Free Speech University Rankings, after the University received a ‘red’ ranking for a fourth year in a row.

The ‘anti-Stalinist left’ magazine highlighted the University’s inclusion of misgendering in its harassment and bullying procedure as an example of how free speech is restricted at Oxford.

Oxford and Newcastle were named the most “ban-happy” universities in the rankings.

55 per cent of the 115 universities ranked received a ‘red’ rating, which implies an institution has “banned and actively censored ideas on campus”.

The LGBTQ+ Society told Cherwell it would “continue to both encourage the use of the correct pronouns, and to defend our university’s policies on both free speech and on hate speech to ensure an environment that allows all students to succeed.”

“The term ‘free speech’ is frequently misused by the privileged to protect their right to spread hatred,” it said. “The university must uphold a ban on hate speech to abide by national laws.

“If the authors of the piece are referring to the, thankfully false, rumour that the Student Union insisted that all students must use pronouns such as ‘ze’ then they have been misinformed.

“Asking that students use the correct pronouns upon the request of the individual, is an entirely different matter and we fail to see how this is an infringement on free speech.

“Free speech and safe spaces are not mutually exclusive. Using incorrect pronouns is simply incorrect.

“Doing so with malicious intent is of course another issue entirely.”

Spiked also highlighted Oxford SU’s banning of pro-life groups and the decision to stop student publication No Offence being handed out at the 2015 freshers’ fair.

The report also included the introduction of mandatory consent classes, Balliol JCR’s banning of the Christian Union from its internal freshers’ fair, and Queen’s JCR banning students from joining secret dining clubs.

Spiked’s deputy editor, Tom Slater, who coordinates the rankings, told Cherwell: “This is the university that produced the likes of Locke and Hobbes. That its students’ union today spends its time investigating ‘bad-taste bops’ is deeply embarrassing.

“[The University’s harassment and bullying policy] stated that ‘deliberately using the wrong name or pronoun in relation to a transgender person’ was an example of harassment, which might lead to disciplinary procedures.

“Compelling someone to say something, even out of politeness, is deeply corrosive to free speech.

“This policy implies that disagreeing with trans identity, or refusing to pay lip service to it, is a disciplinary offence.

“Whatever your stance on the issue, that’s bad news for students’ freedom of speech and freedom of conscience.”

Spiked uses a traffic-light system to assess and rank each university and students’ union based on policies and actions, and takes an average to determine the overall ranking. Both Oxford University and Oxford SU were ranked ‘red’.

The Student Union told Cherwell: “Oxford SU encourages students to use whichever pronouns they so choose.

“We would agree that any suggestion that use of gender-neutral pronouns restricts free speech is quite ridiculous – and only contributes to creating a more welcoming atmosphere.

“In terms of Oxford’s result on Spiked being red, Oxford SU is proud to be working towards a University space, where all students can fully participate.

“We continue to work closely with Liberation campaigns and other student groups.”

Jewish Soc condemns ‘anti-semitic’ Union speaker

0

The Oxford University Jewish Society (JSoc) has condemned a controversial speaker, accused of anti-semitism.

JSoc said that Yvonne Ridley’s past comments “cause Jewish students to feel targeted and unsafe on campus.”

Ridley, a prominent critic of Israel and former chair of the now defunct Respect Party, has called for “an end to the criticism of those who draw comparisons and parallels between Zionism and Nazism.”

The Oxford Union refused JSoc’s request to rescind her invitation for last night’s debate.
Ridley said that the accusations were “hurtful and unfair” and that “legitimate criticism of Israel” was not anti-semitic.

In a statement on Wednesday, a spokesperson for JSoc said: “Her statements go beyond criticism of Israeli government policy or reasoned debate, instead veering into targeted offensive speech.

“Many of her comments can be reasonably construed as anti-semitic.”

While noting that “free speech is important on campus”, they said the debate format meant that “there was no guarantee of any opportunity to call Ms. Ridley out on her hateful views.”

The JSoc statement continued: “We are thus concerned that, if permitted to speak at the Union, she and her views would be legitimised, and our concerns in turn swept under the carpet.

“The Union should not be hosting those espousing racist views.

“We are thus dismayed that the Union has not rescinded the invitation.”

During Thursday night’s panel event at the Union, a member of JSoc spoke in condemnation of Ridley’s alleged anti-semitism.

Ridley has attracted controversy for her comments on Zionism.

She said in 2009: “the Zionists have tentacles everywhere.”

She has also showed support for Hamas and said in a 2006 Imperial College lecture that “Israel is a vile little state” speaking of its leaders in 2009 as “war criminals”.

Ridley said in 2008 that then Foreign Secretary David Miliband was “a gutless little weasel who lost more than his foreskin when he was circumcised.”

Ms Ridley told Cherwell: “I am both surprised and dismayed at the reaction of the OUJS (sic). I have nothing but huge and profound respect for the great faith of Judaism.

“Legitimate criticism of Israel, including its human rights record and the fact it has ignored and violated more UN Resolutions than any other country in the world today, cannot be regarded as anti-Semitic.

“I find the comments hurtful and unfair. Only recently I have been called both a Zionist and a Nazi; terms which I now try and avoid as they’ve become largely meaningless and are bandied around as general insults.

“I am deeply hooured to be speaking in Oxford on Thursday and while I recognise the right of this group to free speech including criticism of me, it would be more helpful if they based their criticism on facts and stop reading hateful blogs which only serve to try and divide instead of unite.

“I wish this vicious witch hunt would stop. I am sorry if they have been targeted and feel unsafe on campus; everyone has a right to express their views… even me.”

The Chaplain at the University Jewish Chaplaincy, Rabbi Michael Rosenfeld-Schueler, told Cherwell: “Yvonne Ridley’s well documented statements are inflammatory and encourage hatred and violence.

“Understandably, many Jewish students feel deeply uncomfortable, angry and frustrated that she has been invited.

“An invitiation to a prestigious society like the Oxford Union confers a legitimacy on her views that are so clearly at odds with British and Jewish values.

“We stand with the Jewish society in its statement”.

Richard Swinburne, Emeritus Professor of Philsophy at Oxford, also spoke at the event.

Swinburne told Cherwell: “I had not heard about Ms Ridley’s views and the way in which she expresses them.

“It is very important to uphold the right of universities and their student societies to host controversial speakers, and only in a totally exceptional case would a society be justified in withdrawing an invitation to a speaker in a debate on one subject because of the way she express her views on another subject.

“I’d need to know a lot more about Ms Ridley’s views…before concluding that this is such a ‘totally exceptional case’.

“Needless to say, I do not agree with Ms Ridley’s views; and I think that if she were to express such views in the debate, it would turn students against her and those views.”

Speaking for the opposition against Ms Ridley was David Silverman, President of the American Athiests.

In a statement, the organisation told Cherwell: “Those views must be vigorously condemned and combated at every opportunity.”

JSoc also took issue with the Union’s advertising of Ridley’s appearance, where there was no reference to her past comments.

Ridley’s appearance at the Union comes in the week of the Oxford SU Annual Elections. All three presidential candidates, Hannah Taylor, Joe Inwood and Ellie Dibben, issued a joint statement.

They said: “Yvonne Ridley has clearly abhorrent views and we support JSoc in challenging her invitation to the Oxford Union. Anti-Semitism can never be allowed to go unchallenged or be legitimised on campus.

“We stand together in opposition to Yvonne Ridley and anything that makes Jewish students feel targeted and unsafe at our university.”

Speakers at the Union debate considered the motion ‘This House Believes We Cannot Thrive Without Religion.’

President of the Union, Laali Vadlamani, said: “The Union does appreciate JSoc’s concerns, and view of some of Ms Ridley’s past comments. It is certainly not the Union’s intent to make Jewish students on campus feel unsafe.

“Her invitation to speak on Thursday’s motion, are not a platform for Ms Ridley to talk about Zionism or the topic of Israel – we do think that her views on these topics are less relevant.

Higher suspension rates for state students revealed

2

More than twice as many state-educated undergraduates than private schooled students have suspended their studies since 2006, Cherwell can reveal.

Students from the state sector have made up on average 56 per cent of undergraduates since 2006, but 69 per cent of all suspended students, according to a Freedom of Information (FOI) request sent by Cherwell.

The course with the most suspensions has been Oriental studies. Since 2006, 30 per cent of undergraduates in the department have suspended.

Archaeology and Anthropology is the second highest, with a 16 per cent suspension rate, and Physics and Philosophy is third with 14 per cent of students taking a year out – either voluntarily or involuntarily.

Human Sciences, Philosophy and Theology, Law, and Material Science also had high rates of suspensions, which were all over 12 per cent.

The course with lowest number of suspensions was Earth Science, with only one student out of the 349 undergraduates since 2006 having put their education on hold for a year.

Psychology, Philosophy and Linguistics (PPL), Geography, Medicine, History, Computer Science and Maths were the other subjects with low suspension rates, which were all under seven per cent.

Over 2200 undergraduates from the public sector and 1010 undergraduates from the private sector suspended their course since 2006.

Kir West-Hunter, St Anne’s equality representative, told Cherwell: “Let’s be honest – Oxford at times seems like a continuation of private school. The buildings effectively look the same, if you were a boarding student you’ve already experienced time away from home and the type of education a private school student received has, more often than not, prepared them for a degree at Oxbridge.”

Oluwatobi Olaitan, equalities officer for Exeter College, told Cherwell: “This statistic highlights once again the disparities in our society with respects to how our education system simply doesn’t provide equal opportunities to those from socioeconomically disadvantaged backgrounds in comparison to their counterparts.

“More work has to be done in terms of providing emotional and financial support to level the playing fields and to allow all to achieve their true potentials.”

The Equal Opportunities rep. at Hertford, Grace Davis, said: “The disproportionate number of state school students rusticating just goes to show how much of an impact schooling backgrounds can have on the difficulty of adjusting to life at Oxford.”

A spokesperson for Oxford SU told Cherwell: “We believe that access does not stop at the admissions process, and that the collegiate University needs to work harder to improve support for applicants from disadvantaged backgrounds and underrepresented groups while they are here.”

One Oriental studies first year student suggested that the difficulty of the course could be a factor in its very high number of suspensions: “It’s definitely a very high intensity course with many contact hours, because a lot of time is spent on language and learning, the time we have alone to finish essays like other students is much less.”

She added: “I would maybe wonder that those who have rusticated under Oriental Studies may have struggled with the breadth of the course?

“We are often having to finish many different types of tasks at once – and so you’re not just focusing on one job after the other.”

Undergraduates studying Archaeology and Anthropology and Physics and Philosophy said
the dual nature of the courses could have influenced students to suspend their studies.

A second-year arch and anth student told Cherwell: ”I think the course is notably disorganised.

“Unlike other courses that have all of their lectures filmed or at least the lecture slides online, in this course it’s at the lecturer’s discretion whether or not they want it up, so it’s incredibly easy to fall behind and feel like you can’t really get it back – and lectures are compulsory and you need the material for finals.

“The two departments also don’t really communicate that well and there’s very little support in general.”

A second-year student who switched in their first year from PhysPhil to Music told Cherwell last term: “One of the major things was that I found that not all, but a lot of my tutors were not supportive and made me feel really stupid.

“One of my tutors told me to ‘treat problem sheets as if it was a life or death situation’.

A University spokesperson told Cherwell: “This data really can’t be interpreted meaningfully in an aggregated form, at this scale. Every case is different, so Cherwell can’t really draw any useful conclusions.

“The range of reasons for suspension of study is extremely broad. Suspension can relate to academic progress, financial circumstances, personal health, developments within families, and proposals to break study for countless other situations.

“In all cases undergraduates at Oxford will have been be in very close liaison with their college and will have enjoyed high levels of support.

“Since we have significantly more students from non-fee-paying schools the different figures are to be expected.

“It should also be noted these numbers do not relate solely to ‘disciplinary’ cases, which are unusual and infrequent. Most of the cases captured in these numbers will have been voluntary, and mutually agreed, rather than disciplinary.”

Booze cruise: Corpus Christi Beer Cellar

Located under the grounds of the prestigious college, down a gloomy staircase, is the humble Corpus Christi Beer Cellar. With its low ceilings, well-stocked bar and lively regulars, the space feels like it has ancestry in prohibition America. From its comfortable purple booths situated in spacious alcoves perfect for social drinking to its iconic IKEA red stools in the welcoming bar area to its copious shelving to place a pint on whilst you throw a dart or pocket a pool ball, there are many ways to enjoy a drink in this fabled establishment. So let’s talk about those drinks.

The Pelican! Named after our college mascot, the majestic fish-eating bird is concocted from a shot of vodka, another of Bacardi rum, half a Hooch, Blue Curacao and a dash of grenadine. Traditionally served in a plastic pint cup, this drink comes to you in a vibrant blue-red blend which quickly becomes a disturbingly grey haze. In fact, it tastes as grey as it becomes, a worryingly unnatural colour. At £5 it is perfectly serviceable for pres, potentially too sweet but does incredible work as a mid-bop pick me up. A huge shout-out goes to the Classics fellow at Corpus who invented it during his undergraduate years here.

The Tortoise is much the same, but green. Produced with a dash of lime, 2 shots of vodka, Midori melon liqueur, topped up with lemonade and a dash of Aftershock, the greenish colour reminds one of the urine of a man that hasn’t had water for a week. The avor would best be described as indistinct apple – it tastes like a slushy that’s been left out in the sun. It’s safe to say, neither of these drinks is winning any awards for avour but the high alcohol content and verve with which they’re served makes them well worth the money you pay for them.

This brings us on to the main event: Lance the barman. Lance hails all the way from South Africa and he comes with the same accent, charm and hospitality. He truly is the highlight of any evening spent in the Beer Cellar. With a decent sound system, the background noise of profanity as another pot is missed in pool can be drowned out by the indie tunes curated by local DJ talent, Tom Hopper. In conclusion, the cheapest pints available are £2.10 each: what more could you ask for?

@caleblebster

A healthy pick and mix

0

Don’t your colleges provide meals for you anyway? It is the insufferable question, constantly posed towards me and, more than likely, other Oxford students. But when you’re having a busy week with a crammed schedule, and you constantly miss the lunch window, a grab-and-go meal is the perfect option. This is especially true if you’re a scientist and have only a quick and in exible break to grab lunch before powering through an afternoon of labs.

My solution would be to spend some time preparing large quantities of different foods, then assembling a ‘pick and mix’ in the morning or even on a Sunday evening. Healthy options and fast food aren’t normally associated, but the combination is by no means unobtainable.

For example, cook a whole pot of quinoa and box it up in Tupperware. Then, chop up two heads of lettuce, a pack of tomatoes, spinach, one cucumber and two bell peppers. Store this salad in this in a separate box of Tupperware. Then, make your protein. This can be some beans or meat. Try marinating some chopped up chicken breasts in a dressing of your choice, and keep it in a zip-locked bag overnight or for one hour in the fridge. Pan fry this, and put it in a third Tupperware box. With all these options, in the morning it is then easy to assemble the meal you fancy that day. Usually I pack a salad at lunch, and will heat up chicken with a carb or grain that I make that evening. If I get hungry between meals, I buy a pot of humous, and eat it with leftover peppers or cucumber from my salad, reducing food waste.

The range of options available with this strategy means that you don’t have to eat the same meal that you whipped up on Sunday night every day of that week, and you can still be healthy. Prepping in advance also turns out to be a lot cheaper and, of course, less time-consuming than cooking a new meal each day; perfect for anyone trying to keep to their New Year’s resolutions and juggling essay deadlines!

A well-stocked student pantry

0

John Waters once said not to sleep with anyone who doesn’t own books. I have a similar adage concerning balsamic vinegar. There’s something revelatory about the snapshot of a strangers’ tastes given by the pantry-staple pantheon.

I’m not above judging other people for their choices. Mixed herbs? I’m not at a point in my culinary journey where thyme is all that different to rosemary, but I have the good grace not to flaunt my ignorance so brazenly. Siracha will always win my admiration, with its vibrant colour and promise to zhoosh up any meal, while the use of malt vinegar for anything but cleaning lets me know where I’m not welcome.

On my list of essentials, there’s paprika, because the smoky flavour reminds me of chorizo-filled family holidays to Spain. Soy sauce, because it’s a takeaway in a bottle, making fried rice and peas feel kingly. Chilli flakes, because I’m not a coward.

The dream, hazy and yet unrealised, is to scan an Ottolenghi and realise I already have everything I need. Like a neatly made bed or a Solo account with no pending returns, a well-stocked pantry goes a long way towards a general sense of wellbeing.

Perhaps this is unrealistic when shelf space is as scarce as fixed-rent property in London. In student kitchens, everything must have a purpose. A bag of dessicated coconut left over from a new dal recipe needs to find another life, because it’s taking up space usually reserved for pasta. So it goes into the cabbage I’m frying, with ginger and lime juice, and I’m not disappointed. Perhaps there’s a bright side to this nomadic lifestyle, where the rush to use everything up before the end of term spurs on the most creative dishes.

In lieu of a freezer or even much fridge room, the pantry comprises a backbone from which miracles can be wrought. Baked beans are ripe for experimentation, infinitely more interesting spiked with crushed garlic, barbeque sauce and a handful of kale. Tinned soup can be bulked out with chickpeas and chopped tomatoes, with a few herbs or spices chucked in to up the flavour.

And couscous! I could write an ode to couscous. It’ll forgive any strange assortment of vegetables, especially when dressed with salt, olive oil and vinegar. It asks no special treatment and takes up no more space than it needs – it just sits there, ready to fluff into life within ten minutes of putting the kettle on. This is the best kind of cooking: exploratory, gentle on mistakes, and endlessly adaptable.