Tuesday, May 20, 2025
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Old and new fused in ‘Alien: Covenant’

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With the passing of the legendary John Hurt earlier this year, I went back to the original Alien (1979), in which he experiences what is perhaps cinema’s most iconic onscreen death. What I was struck by, having not seen the film in years, is how brilliant Alien is as a character piece.

While Ripley’s presence in the larger series has afforded her an iconic status, the original film is more of an ensemble effort, focusing on the interplay between the whole crew. You grow to love them as a unit, so when people die off it sends emotional shockwaves through the fabric of the film. This was one of the many shortfalls of Prometheus (2012)—its conviction that Elizabeth Shaw was to be ‘The Next Ripley’ led to other characters feeling like mere cannon fodder to be killed off in increasingly gruesome ways.

With its pontifications on gods and monsters, and the frustrating lack of resolution to many of its core questions, many fans felt that Prometheus was a philosophically ponderous lump of celluloid that didn’t cohere with the lean original film. Alien: Covenant attempts to meld the styles of the two films into a cohesive whole, resulting in an intriguing exercise in style and fan service.

Ridley Scott, directing once again, is having fun reconfiguring familiar elements from Alien and Prometheus into new shapes. From small nods like the ship’s computer being called MUTHUR, to the conspicuously Alien-esque title sequence, many elements of Covenant are simply intertextual nods to keep fans happy. Even pivotal story elements, such as the creation of the Xenomorph, are a result of the social media backlash about the lack of the iconic aliens in Prometheus.

But delving into the backstory of the Xenomorph is the kind of fan service that may ultimately prove to be a disservice. The fear of the unknown is much of what made the Xenomorph so scary, so learning more about it, even if it deepens the mythos, will only make it less scary. And, while the callbacks to the previous films are mostly entertaining, they can often highlight how much of the film feels recycled from other Alien movies, pulling you out of the cinematic experience—especially when the final conflict feels like it was lifted straight out of the first two Alien films.

Instead, the film is at its best when carving its own path, especially in its attempts to meld serious philosophical contemplations about God, the act of creation, and the nature of man with schlocky, B-movie thrills, and gross body horror.

The film also repeats some of the mistakes of Prometheus, especially during its first act. The crew of the Alien: Covenant is meant to be made up of brilliant scientists, and yet the plot is predicated on them acting like absolute morons, such as stepping foot on an uncharted planet without spacesuits or scans of the environment, simply assuming there are no highly dangerous aliens or deadly pathogens awaiting them in the wilderness. The film also makes Prometheus’s mistake of clearly marking several characters out as cannon fodder, so their deaths are far more yucky than shocking—but these issues are mostly consigned to the first act, leaving the rest of the film more space to play around in.

More than anything, the film is incredibly handsome to look at, playing to Scott’s strengths as a worldbuilder and a visual stylist. He also draws great performances from Michael Fassbender, Billy Crudup, Katherine Waterstone, and Danny McBride. It proves more than ever that Ridley Scott can direct the hell out of anything, but he can’t make up for the shortfalls in a script. Alien: Covenant is ultimately fun, disposable entertainment and, for all its good qualities, Ridley’s latest experiment in his iconographic toybox might do lasting damage to the rest of the Alien continuity.

Dispatches: Gentrified graffiti on the streets of Stokes Croft

It was a damp, grey morning, the streets oily with recent rain, pregnant clouds overhead threatening more in the coming hours. Still, there were a number of groups toiling the winding road of Stokes Croft, camera phones aloft, guided by eager students. It was freshers’ week at Bristol University and the new arrivals, many from London and the south-east, had come to see art. Not the mediocre collection in the city museum, but instead, graffiti.

People sometimes call them murals, in an attempt to bestow a respectability which graffiti angrily shrugs off. Bristol’s graffiti, or more particularly, Stokes Croft’s graffiti, has become famous: sober students are willing to brave autumnal weather and take photos of Banksy’s ‘The Mild, Mild West’, stencilled across a wall adjoining Hamilton House, a local arts exhibition space. The irony of young, middle class students venturing into what has historically been one of city’s most deprived areas to photograph graffiti, telling their friends ‘I saw a Banksy today!’, and sharing the image on social media, is a testament to gentrification. Or it’s another way of saying that graffiti is not as ‘street’ as it once was. Banksy is in museums these days too.

Stokes Croft has stood apart from other cities like London by actively encouraging graffiti, especially by local business owners. Yet most pieces last only a few months, sometimes even less than that, a new image stencilled over a Banksy, appearing one morning bold and striking, fresh as dew.

Perhaps it’s not quite as egalitarian as the People’s Republic of Stokes Croft would like it to be. After all, Banksy is not quite like every other graffiti artist. His ‘Mobile Lovers’ was deliberately removed from the Broad Plains Boys’ Club to the Bristol Museum & Art Gallery. He has become institutionalised, made acceptable to middle class audiences who in the past would have shirked Stokes Croft or dismissed graffiti as urban detritus. The New Yorker’s Lauren Collins described his work as ‘anti-authoritarian whimsy’, which is perhaps another way of saying Banksy is not quite as threatening to the establishment as we may like to think. It’s not so much Banksy has sold out (his authorised website is defiantly sparse), but that his audience has. And in apparently trying to let his graffiti speak for itself, other voices have chimed in.

One only has to walk down Stokes Croft to see a whole host of divergent images on walls, some political, others amusing or ambiguous. The idea of graffiti as street politics is powerful but restrictive—Banksy is a graffiti artist, not the graffiti artist. The graceful anonymity of some of the graffiti in Stokes Croft resists the co-option of an art world hungry for the next big thing.

Meanwhile, Banksy hurtles further towards the status of international artist provocateur, and young, eager students on damp September mornings come to Stokes Croft to take selfies with Banksy’s work. Perhaps they see—and not just glance at—the other graffiti on the walls around them, and think how versatile it can be as an art form. Banksy’s greatest legacy might not be his own work, but bringing a spotlight to his fellow graffitists. There is more to Stokes Croft than ‘The Mild, Mild West.’

A day in the life of… a stage manager

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There are times when one questions their decision to be on the crew of an Oxford show. Dragging a chaise longue through the midnight February drizzle after your final show, whilst the slightly inebriated cast steam past you riding a trolley and carrying two chairs and a candlestick between them, is one of them.

As a Stage Manager, dressed head to toe in black, you live in the wings, the shadow of the theatre (like the Phantom, but more tone-deaf and a little less angry). You grace the stage in darkness alone and, while the cast go out to meet their adoring fans after the curtain has fallen, you drag the half-broken chairs back into their place and slip out quietly into the night.

Likely to be spotted traipsing the streets with an armful of scythes and a couple of litres of lemonade, a stage manager must abandon all sense of decency and accept that they will spend the next few days whispering, sweating, or carrying unreasonably heavy beds.

You will start show week unknown to the cast, too late to the party to understand the in-jokes and left with only your headset for company until, just before opening night, you will be called upon to locate the most critical prop which has mysteriously vanished and, on finding it, become the backstage hero no one knew they needed.

Should you want speed up this infiltration of the inner circle, here are a few tried and tested techniques to charm the thesps:

1. Frequently arrive at the theatre brandishing copious amounts of food. Bonus points if it is homemade.

2. Offer your house as the location for the after party. (Then apologise to your naïve housemates after a group of half-naked actors climb into the bath at 4AM).

3. Run a tight ship, by all means, but on the last night, turn a blind eye to mischief. Has that cranberry juice turned into red wine? You don’t know, you had nothing to do with it, and you definitely didn’t hide the bottles in the girls’ dressing room.

Follow these steps and you will have gained twenty Facebook friends, a bottle of wine, the title of ‘superwoman’, and an overload of gratitude by the end of the week. You will sleep for a few days, obsessively scour eBay for antique binoculars before realising it’s all over, and confess that you wish you could do it all again.

Then remember you’ve signed up for another show in two weeks, open up Amazon, and get searching for all the fake blood you can possibly find.

“A marathon-style theatrical whirlwind”

Marianne Elliot brings back together the team behind The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time to create pure theatrical magic. For the first time since its world premiere in 1992, Angels in America is back in London’s National Theatre. For the 25th anniversary production of Tony Kushner’s contemporary masterpiece Marianne Elliot directs a stunning cast of stars from both the UK and US, including Nathan Lane, Denise Gough, and Russell Tovey.

Set against the backdrop of the 1980s AIDS crisis, Angels in America follows an intricate love story through the trials of finding one’s identity.

Exploring themes of homosexuality, religion, and societal change, Kushner’s (slightly updated) play features a hotchpotch of characters as they approach the new millennium, concerned with what the future may hold for them and what they represent in society.

There is, with the last lines of Part Two: Perestroika, a beautiful and highly powerful message of an eternal push for progress, whatever that may mean.

At four hours and ten minutes long, during previews, I hope that I may be forgiven for having only watched Part Two: Perestroika which sees the infamous lawyer Roy Cohn (Nathan Lane) meet his match in Ethel Rosenberg (Susan Brown)—the woman who he had executed for treason—and Harper Pitt (Gough) finally come to terms with the reality of her husband’s homosexuality.

At the same time, Louis Ironson (James McArdle) is grappling with the descent into AIDS of his former lover, Prior Walter (played by an impressive Andrew Garfield).

At the climax of the play, Prior ascends to heaven on a bright pink ladder and joins the Angels who look down on earth in despair. Offering a comic yet touching performance as Belize (both Prior’s best friend and Cohn’s nurse), Nathan Stewart-Jarrett is remarkable.

The play’s focus on developing a sense of belonging in an ever-changing America seems well-placed given the current political situation in the US, and there is definitely relevance in the play’s undertones of anxiousness at the future of the America.

Kushner’s skill is visible in the way that his drama about a particular moment of the 1980s lends itself very well to performance in the modern day. Angels in America certainly has as much to say to an audience in London in 2017 as it did to an audience in New York back in 1992.

Possibly symptomatic of the decay that Perestroika tries to deal with more generally in society, this production of Angels in America does not feature a beautiful, graceful Angel flying from the gods to swoop down and warn the characters of their fate.

Instead, Amanda Lawrence appears in a grimy and torn American flag flanked by devilish figures (‘Angel Shadows’) who control her puppet-style wings.

While the set was sometimes clunky, the preparations for changes definitely audible, and the rather annoying appearance of the ‘Angel Shadows’ pre-empted the end of every scene, the overall aesthetic of this groundbreaking production remained unharmed.

Angels comes with a health warning: bring some tissues and get ready for a marathon style theatrical whirlwind. Perestroika brings the fragments of the characters’ rather dysfunctional lives together. This ending leaves the audience with a sense of closure but also one of a refreshing and optimistic beginning, with new opportunities and settled identities.

Part One: Millennium Approaches and Part Two: Perestroika run in repertoire at the Royal National Theatre’s Lyttleton Theatre until 19th August. Though tickets sold out just hours after their initial release, day tickets are available and a monthly ballot is running on the NT’s website (plus check back on the listing to see if there are any returns).

Boris Johnson heckled upon return to Balliol

Balliol alum and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson today visted Balliol College, and was accosted by leftist students who heckled him and unfurled a banner in his path.

Johnson was visiting his almer mater for a “private party”, according to a college source, and students said that he spent some time in the college library.

As can be seen in a video posted on Twitter, students unfurled a banner which read ‘Racist Boris, what dead animals have you fucked?’ and shouted abuse at him.

The heckles included “hands off our free school meals”, “get back to the Bullingdon club” and “do you want to burn £50 in front of a homeless person?”.

Photo: Daily Mail

Boris quickly climbed inside his ministerial Jaguar, parked on Broad Street, and sped away.

Balliol College revealed that although Boris was attending a private party as an alumnus, no other alumni were in attendence. They declined to comment on the full purpose of his visit.

Johnson infamously featured in a Bullingdon Club photo on the steps of Canterbury Quad in Christ Church, during his time at Oxford as an undergraduate, where he read Classics.

The full video is below:

 

Mixed fortunes for OUPSC in tightest-ever Varsity

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Unbeknownst to many, the Cambridge Snooker Centre recently played host to the closest pool and snooker Varsity matches in history, both of which were decided on the very last frame.

In this Crucible of Cambridge, hidden away on an unassuming industrial estate beside a railway line, questions were asked pre-match: could the Oxford University Pool and Snooker Club retain their Varsity title after last year’s resounding double victory?

Cambridge had returned in force, looking for revenge after a thorough shoeing in 2016. They made the fight as hard as they could for the Dark Blues.

On 13 May, the pool side made the long trip to ‘the other place’ on the X5, sensing that they held a narrow edge over their opposition.

The first round of singles was a dead heat, with both sides winning 18 frames. Adam Smith and Sam Hale exhibited stand-out performances for the Oxford side, both dispatching their Cambridge opponents 3-0.

A tense doubles round followed, in which the Dark Blues stole a narrow two-frame lead over Cambridge, with further strong performances from Adam and Peter Hill who took their frames 3-0.

Moving into the second and final round of singles it seemed there was all to play for, and the Light Blues fought back to ultimately take four frames back and scrape the overall win: the final score was 46-44.

Sunday saw the Snooker team move in to avenge this defeat.

The format was far simpler that Saturday’s complex affair: eight players were to play one frame against each of their opposite eight. Cambridge took an early lead over the first set of frames but Oxford fought back, determined to clinch a win after the previous day’s defeat.

After a hard-fought battle lasting long into the evening, the final frames were played out with Oxford taking some last-minute wins to clinch the Varsity Snooker title 33-31. Again, honourable mentions go to Adam Smith and Will Meng, both of whom came away with six hard-fought victories from eight frames, as well as Scott England and Michael Platt who followed closely with five from eight.

After a truly stellar effort from all of those involved, it is only left to say well done to Cambridge on stealing away half of Oxford’s double Varsity title. However, the Light Blues will know that next year OUPSC will be back and hot on their heels ready to take it away again.

2016/17 has been an excellent season for the club and a competitive Varsity match—ignoring the loss—was the perfect way to round off the season, following wins in the local Snooker leagues and strong showings in all other tournaments.

Indeed, it is easy to write pool and snooker off as mere bar sports, but at a university level, this could hardly be further from the truth.

At the end of Hilary Term, for example, two Oxford teams made the trip up to Leeds for the BUCS Snooker event. Despite a mixed set of results, it was an exceptional effort to send two full teams up to Yorkshire, and with plenty of Fresher representation, the club is in safe hands ahead of next season.

PakSoc beaten by rivals OIS

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The rivalry between India and Pakistan is without doubt the fiercest in world cricket.

988 million viewers watched the pair’s World Cup semi-final contest in 2011, which made it the most-watched clash in history, and the ICC has admitted to fixing draws so that the two play in a lucrative fixture against each other.

Last Sunday, Oxford saw the clash played out in a microcosm of the usual fixture, with Oxford India Society (OIS) playing Oxford Pakistan Society (PakSoc) in their annual 40-over match.

The preceding week had threatened to ruin the day, with several college games called off due to torrential downpours, but under clear skies and in twenty-degree heat, the University Club ground on Mansfield Road could hardly have looked more picturesque.

Bharat Ramanathan’s men in blue lost the toss and PakSoc, victorious in the previous two encounters, chose to bat first, a decision that would come under scrutiny later in the day. Prashant Pandey’s spell of 8-2-14-4 proved to be the outstanding performance of the day as OIS produced a tight bowling display to rip through the PakSoc top order.

However, the experience and class of PakSoc’s number three Rafiullah Kakar showed in a very impressive knock of 85 on a slow pitch. He displayed great match awareness, knowing when to attack without much support from the other end.

Lucky Bandhu and Jacob Mathew then picked up several wickets each, leaving PakSoc bowled out for a modest 144.

OIS began their reply strongly, only suffering the loss of opener Ishan Kapur, with Sameer Pathak and Vijay Kumar building a composed partnership. The latter took advantage of being dropped twice to progress to a fifty that included several massive sixes down the ground.

PakSoc’s bowling was assured and some tight off-spin delayed India’s march to victory—they were rewarded with the dismissal of both set batsmen.

In the end it was fitting to see OIS’ captain Ramanathan at the crease as the winning runs were hit within 29 overs. Pandey was deservedly awarded man of the match for his game changing opening spell as both sides came together at the post-match presentation.

Overall, this was a fantastic and lively event that involved live commentary, music and a barbecue—long may the tradition continue.

Oxford Women beat Cambridge Men in Triathlon Varsity

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A Varsity win is always likely to be a special occasion, but for the Women’s Triathlon Blues, their part in the 5-0 trouncing of Cambridge at Emberton Park, Milton Keynes was particularly memorable.

This was not simply because this was one of the first times that all of the Women’s squad had had the opportunity to race together, nor was it the huge winning margin that Oxford managed against the Tabs’ Women’s team.

Rather, the most remarkable feat achieved was that the Oxford Women’s team triumphed against the odds to record better times than the Cambridge Men. This was not only an unprecedented result in Varsity Triathlon, but it is an extremely rare occurrence past the age group level of competition.

Speaking to Cherwell, Lucy Farquhar, the club’s Women’s captain who came second in the Women’s event to team-mate Sophia Saller, said: “It’s pretty much unheard of for this to happen, so it was an amazing thing to have been a part of.

“We knew we had done well, and there weren’t any Cambridge women anywhere near any of us, but we only found out about beating the Cambridge men later in the day.”

Farquhar, a second-year Engineer, was quick to point out the extent to which the sport has grown in Oxford: “OUTriC [Oxford University Triathlon Club] has come a long way in recent years and our result was definitely one of [the club’s] biggest successes.

“But it’s also only half the story: there were ridiculously many girls racing for OUTriC, which…shows that we have strength in numbers, as well as some top-performing girls.”

Indeed, in 2013, only ten women competed in the Varsity Triathlon event compared to some 26 this year: the club’s rapid growth is a credit to those who run it.

However, this was an important result not just for the Triathlon Club, but for women’s sport at Oxford in general.

Great strides have recently been made to try to bridge the gap in funding and importance between Men’s and Women’s Varsity matches. This year’s Varsity football fixtures saw the Men’s and Women’s matches played in a double-header for the first time, similarly to rugby and rowing—it is often the case that the Women’s fixtures play second fiddle, starting at an inconvenient time earlier in the day and playing the role of curtain-raiser ahead of the ‘main event’.

Therefore, results like this one must be highlighted as much as possible.

“All of us are massive advocates for encouraging women [at Oxford] to take part in any sport, not just triathlon,” said Farquhar. “We feel incredibly excited to be playing our part in bringing Women’s sport at Oxford the attention and recognition it deserves.”

Upon speaking to Farquhar and finding out more about the top handful of Blues athletes, it strikes me just how impressive a feat it is to fit their training schedule and their frequent competitions into their packed degree schedules.

“It really is a massive undertaking,” she continued. “We train an insane amount, and I don’t think anyone could disagree with that.”

She tells me that whilst the level of training between her, Saller, and current President Laura Fenwick differs from day to day depending on other commitments, they all manage a minimum of two sessions a day, “but usually more than that is the norm for us.”

With three different disciplines—running, swimming and cycling—to prepare for, there is an exceptional amount of work to do, especially when gym work, injury prevention sessions and physio time are considered.

“We train together as much as possible, and push each other to get great results. We also train a lot with the guys in our club to push ourselves that bit harder.

“The training environment here at Oxford couldn’t be any better, and it’s great to be able to show that academics and high-level sport is a combination that works.”

As in the majority of Oxford sports, Varsity is the pinnacle for triathletes, and the success at Milton Keynes will probably be remembered as the highlight of the 2016/17 season. However, that is not to say that the season is over. Indeed, the British Elite National Championships take place in a couple of weeks’ time, and the competition schedule is relentless: the Bundesliga, European and World Cups, and WTS races—among others—provide a constant cycle of near-future aims.

But, it is notable how much the top three competitors in particular love the sport and everything that goes with it. Farquhar refers often to the fun of training with her teammates and close friends, and when asked what the best thing about competition is, she is unequivocal in her response that it is “how much fun we have together.”

“Despite how seriously we all take our training, enjoyment and a love of the sport is the most important reason to compete.”

It perhaps is the case that many sports have a lot to learn from these athletes—their high level of performance is truly matched with a love for their sport. Things really are going swimmingly for OUTriC.

Woody Harrelson, lost in Oxford

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If last week you caught sight of a Woody Harrelson wandering around Oxford, or attempting to get into the Radcliffe Camera, your eyes were not deceiving you. Woody descended on Oxford and was taken on a tour by members of the Oxford Guild before showing his new film Lost in London at the Andrew Wiles building.

For an A-List celebrity who had spent his day walking around the most stress-filled university in the country, he was incredibly relaxed. A little too relaxed. Woody remained friendly, and joked away throughout the interview, but as he answered our questions, his laid-back, slightly distracted attitude was a little unnerving.

Maybe this calm manner was really due to how awestruck he’d been by our beautiful city after his tour from members of the Oxford Guild: “I saw a lot of beautiful buildings, it’s great to be in these places that have been around for literally hundreds of years, the vibe is strong, it’s fantastic.” Woody’s new film, Lost in London, has this same sense of the excitement on discovering a city.

The plot follows Woody on a “terrible drastic night” out in London: his wife is on the edge of leaving him, he is taken clubbing by an Iranian Prince, he gets into a fight with his best friend (Owen Wilson), knocks over a disabled man and spends the night in jail for breaking the ashtray of a taxi. At times the film may seem slightly self-indulgent, in simply tracking Woody’s own life, but he assured us of the more meaningful element behind it.

“There’s something of merit to the story which is really a guy who has it all but doesn’t realise until he’s threatened with losing it all, and then he’s give a shot at redemption… at least thematically it is like It’s A Wonderful Life—that’s the kind of message that’s in it”

Yet, what has really grabbed media attention is the added layer of interest that Lost in London is the first live-streamed film to be created. It was shot in real time with one camera for 99 minutes and creates this sensation of following Woody around on his night out.

Surprisingly the shooting itself remains extremely slick, and Woody emphasises how it brings together the immediacy of the stage with the medium of the camera lens: “I was always a big fan of theatre, and then film, and I thought it was a good way to merge the two…This was definitely the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. It was like theatre but there were a lot of elements I didn’t have control of.”

The start of the film opens with a short explanation of the process of making the work, and it was clearly a difficult task which created numerous technical difficulties. Woody jokes, “boy, I regretted having that idea sometimes, but now I’m happy”. The audience was clearly happy too judging by their laughs throughout the screening.

Laughs is what Woody is famous for due to his acting in comedies such as Kingpin and Zombie Land. Lost in London too, is also extremely funny as we follow Woody’s mishaps and run ins. He explains how comedy like this, is still the most important thing for him: “That’s my favourite thing, making people laugh…I have other movies that I want to direct and they’re all comedies.”

During Lost in London he jokingly berates that fact that he keeps on getting roped into acting in dramas or other genres, and in the interview he reiterated his frustration with acting in more serious productions:

“The last play I did was on the West End and it was brutal. It was Tennessee Williams and it was heavy and if you did everything right as an audience member you’d feel like you’d be punched in the gut, and that’s if you do everything right… Why do you want that? I’d rather people laugh for 80/90 minutes and then let’s hit the pub!” Woody’s carefree jovial attitude is apparent as he jokes around with us, mocking our English accents and batting off more pressing questions about politics with a grin.

When pressed further on what makes something funny, and how he views comedy in general, Woody continued explaining that for him “comedy is born out of tragedy, or some kind of conflict or difficulty or dramatic thing. What is it they say, comedy is tragedy gone wrong, and tragedy is comedy gone wrong, something like that…”

Perhaps? We’ll let the English students among us decide that. Either way, it is clear that comedies is where he wants to remain for the foreseeable future.  He talked to us about his new screen play The Misfortunes of Mr Fitz, which sounds extremely exciting: “It takes place in Ireland…all in the space of 24 hours. I like slapstick, really kind of believable slapstick.” We’ll certainly look forward to seeing how another UK based film turns out.

However if you’re worried that Woody is swapping the screen for a notepad then fear not. As he assures us: “I’m going to keep acting, you know, until they put me out. I’ll keep doing it. I love it.”

Despite his humorous side however, Woody does have more serious attitude to certain important things. He has been a life-long environmental activist, speaking out about global warming, drug legalisation and veganism. We asked what drives his work – “I guess I’m driven by the fact that I can see we’re a bunch of lemmings heading off a cliff…. I remember when I first understood global warming it was in 1987, and I was just like this is a major problem. Back then they said we have 15 years to deal with this, or there’s no turning back from the cataclysm…we’re still not dealing with it.”

He takes a staunch line against corporations who are not doing anything to help the environment and talks with real feeling on the subject: “Some people are doing something, but the people who need to change, for example the fossil fuel industry, they don’t want to change. Maybe they have a department that are making solar panels or something, but they’re doing everything they can to get every last drop…these giant industries aren’t really thinking about anything but profit.”

When asked about his attitude towards drugs, we are again met with a very different kind of Woody who takes the question far more seriously. He has previously spoken very publicly in favour of recreational marjuna usage and continues to support the case for freedom of action: “I think that in a free country you should be free to do what you want, unless you’re hurting someone else or hurting their property.  So that’s not just drugs, it’s drugs, gambling anything – I call them victimless crimes or consensual crimes.”

Recently however, he announced that he had given up smoking pot. When we pressed him about this he was keen to explain that this is because he was abusing the substance, not because he is against weed: “I haven’t changed my attitude towards ‘erb’ I think it’s a great thing. My problem was that I was abusing it I ju st think the abuse of its probably not smart …I was literally in a perpetual cloud, not when I worked, I didn’t smoke when I worked, but as soon as I wrapped I smoked, and if I wasn’t working I would smoke, so I was either in a San Francisco fog, or a London fog…I don’t think that was really serving me, and I certainly couldn’t have done this movie if I had been foggy, I had to be really clear.” It is clear though that for Woody, it remains a ‘sacred plant’ – he jokily mentions how much he misses it.

Finally, as his assistant began to make motions for him to go and see his film, we quickly asked him about his experience of being a student at Hanover College and he provides advice that I’m sure many finalists would love to hear:  “I feel like if I went back and did college over again, first of all I wouldn’t stress so hard about my grades because you get out of college and nobody’s cares what your grades were when you go for a job… It’s like the merit of who you are in the room.”

Woody certainly does have a presence in the room, and maybe this is because he is such a daring figure, constantly getting involved in new things: “I do like to scare myself at least once a day, doing something a little bit scary, climb up on something, jump off something.” This feels somewhat to believe when staring at a man so subdued he was 15 minutes late to his own screening. But, his wild side and element of craziness (or idiocy maybe) is unmistakable. His sage wisdom and advice then, was a plea for us stressed students to be as light-hearted and happy-go-lucky as he is.

Cliché of the week: “Without troubling the scorers”

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After his duck at Headingley against Sri Lanka last summer, Joe Root was, as has been commonplace for years within the game, said to have departed “without troubling the scorers”.

But this mindless phrase shows a complete lack of appreciation for those who tirelessly partake in an oft-forgotten role.

In fact, an early dismissal is the stuff of nightmares for a scorer. Unless the majority of the cricketing world has managed to avoid playing at a low-level, they should know the pain of being handed a scorebook after being shunted down the bottom of the batting order.

A string of single-figure scores has left you with no choice but to fill in every run, every extra, every dot ball and, most importantly, every wicket, in a book that looks about as nonsensical as Sanskrit to the average person.

Just as you start to get the hang of it—filling in two different boxes and crossing out a number when even a single run is scored—a wicket falls.

Panic ensues. The person on your team who knows what he is doing looks over your shoulder as you struggle manically to work out the not out batsman’s total, the partnership, and a whole host of seemingly useless statistics. You are barely halfway through the detail when the new man walks to the crease.

Is it really the case then, that another wicket now will not trouble the scorers?

Indeed, a first-ball duck is about as worrying a phenomenon as is imaginable for the pencil-bearing ‘volunteers’. It is time their efforts are recognised, and we consign this phrase to history.