Cherwell

Tan-talising times at Jesus

Jesus College JCR has moved to revive its tanning team, gaining unanimous support from the JCR for over £50 worth of funding for fake tan and equipment.

Fraser Myers (a.k.a. Tan-Solo) proposed the motion, which read, “The JCR notes that the Jesus College Tanning Team (JCTT) had a terrible 2012 season due to a price spike in Primark’s Sunkissed range and a lack of support and recognition from the JCR.”

Former JCR President and OUSU President- Elect Tom Rutland successfully proposed a second amendment, which mandated the tanning team to research the possibility of a charity JCTT calendar.

JCTT membership is open to all, regardless of gender, skin colour, or quantities of tan applied, and recently the Team have been in desperate need of funds after being bankrupted by a fine from college for hiding a sunbed in Jesus library.

Men’s Captain of the JCTT, Alex Russman, commented, “Jesus has a disproportionate share of Oxford’s tanning talent and I could not be prouder in my role to ensure the JCTT head to Thursday morning tutes and lectures sporting a healthy orange glow.”

In the run up to Tanning Cuppers 2013, the JCTT have self-confessedly been “hitting the crew dating scene hard” in order to make their presence felt outside of college. They have attained crew-date acclaim, as Myers boasts: “we are currently the number one men’s crew dating team on the crewdater. com website.”

A review given by the Christ Church Spritzers’ social secretary Talulah Lemerle reads: “We wish we had brought sunglasses to shield our eyes from these dazzling gents. A very TANtalising night – chat was on fire, sconces were sizzling and rumour has it more than one of our ladies enjoyed the heat all night long. Tantastic time!”