We Hughsies are a boring lot, or at least so it would seem. When I went down to our lodge last week to get some entertaining anecdotes from our college porters I was sure that fourteen years of working in college must have yielded some funny stories. After all, we are students, aren’t we? This is supposed to be the time of our lives when we do crazy things just because we can. Sadly we seem to be somewhat lacking on the wild front.
Still, at least one fellow student seems to have got the idea. Apparently, in the not so distant past, the porters rushed to one particular building when the fire alarm went off. When they arrived however, they were met by the smell of sizzling burgers. By all accounts they had a hard time convincing the inhabitant of said smoke-filled room that using portable barbeques indoors was not a good idea.
Fire alarms seem to be a bit of a theme, actually. Another recent mishap involved a student dropping his cigarette during a covert smoke in the bathroom, thereby setting fire to a towel. Despite having unlimited water close at hand said student decided to run away. After all, who would want to put out the fire and miss out on the glory of such a magnificently stupid act?
After these two gems, however, the well of porter gossip I had been tapping seemed to dry up. Apparently, within the porter’s circuit, St. Hugh’s is not known for its outlandish pranks. Perhaps its because we’re all so tired by the time we’ve made it all the way back from town that we can’t be bothered to create mischief and mayhem (yes, we are in a different parish to the rest of the University…). On the other hand, I hear from our morning porter that Teddy Hall have a book in the lodge recording all the entertaining incidents that have happened there over the years.
I’m not willing to let this drop though – surely Hughsies must have been entertaining enough to rival Teddy Hall in the past? I ask whether any post-club fondling is ever caught on our many CCTV cameras? The porter seems offended. thinking I’ve implied that one would only take a job at the lodge to get access to free porn that we provide. He does catch other entertaining acts on tape though. In my defence, they shouldn’t leave the trolley for wheeling suitcases to people’s rooms lying around if they don’t want me joy riding it down the disabled ramp after one too many sambukas at Ponana.
