Bild (sensationalist red-top) columnist Franz Josef Wagner always writes a letter to a person or  group as his regular newspaper piece. His latest one is one to cut out and keep, or at least to laugh at:

Dear Hillary Clinton,

You are like a bird that rises rejuvenated from the ashes. For the ancient Greeks, the phoenix was the symbol of second chance.

All the TV pundits, the pollsters, CNN, Spiegel Online, the BBC, BILD, me, even Bob Woodward, the legendary Watergate reporter for the Washington Post, were wrong in their analyses.

Hillary Clinton was a casserole fowl [eh?], shattered by everything. And suddenly Hillary Clinton cries in a coffee shop in New Hampshire.

The world media’s failure was not to view the tears as genuine. When a woman cries, no biological secret comes out of her eyes [‘scuse me?]. A woman who cries should be hugged and patted on the back.

Hillary Clinton achieved it with tears.

Warmest regards,

F. J. Wagner

I can’t be bothered to translate any more, so German speakers can check out Wagner’s previous letter, in which he describes Hillary’s marriage to Bill as

a flower pressed inside a poetry anthology.

Cherwell 24 is not responsible for the content of external sites