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Word policing

In 2008 Oxford University researchers, presumably on a break from solving the world’s problems, compiled a list of the top ten most irritating phrases in circulation. These were included in the book Damp Squid, reflecting the error of confusing a sea creature with a firework which is apparently common. If you’re reading this and had been saying squid all your life, what exactly did you think was the significance of an underwater invertebrate being a bit wet?

One of the biggest tragedies of the financial crisis is that this incredible contribution to modern scholarship has had no sequel, with funding likely switching to stopping disease or world hunger or some other folly. Luckily here at Cherwell we don’t have to worry about the ethics of apportioning money to research (since we have none) and so can help out by giving an up-to-date perspective on those phrases that we just can’t stand.

The original list ranged from the meaningless ‘fairly unique’ to the grammatically frustrating ‘shouldn’t of.’ Also included were the tautological phrases ‘at this moment in time’ and ‘I personally’, with John Humphries describing the latter as “the linguistic equivalent of having chips with rice.”

At number one was ‘at the end of the day’, a hackneyed phrase used by footballers to mean ‘ultimately’ or ‘finally’, leaving you questioning why they didn’t just take the quicker option instead and avoid the tired cliché.

Three years on, rather than tracking the changing uses of words and phrases through a database of modern media (that all sounds rather complex), Cherwell has chosen the traditional method of ‘asking some people’ and was surprised at the number who checked their Nexus mid-August.

Andrew Grey, a Mansfield third year, suggested ‘ironically’ when used to describe mere coincidence as his pet hate, adding that the sporting expression ‘on form’ was “ridiculous, meaningless and irritating.” Nupur Takwale, an editor of Cherwell News, found ‘obviously’ even more annoying, especially when used for things that are “evidently not obvious.” Takwale hinted that her fellow opinionated PPEists were often guilty of annoying her in this way.

We also asked which phrase from the original list particularly riled students, and over half said that they found ‘shouldn’t of’ most annoying, even those who normally scorned grammatical conventions. Sarah Connolly, a Material Scientist in love with ellipses, commented, “Only ‘shouldn’t of’ annoys me… I say the rest… Is that bad?”

Well Sarah, all our evidence seems to suggest that you’re very annoying, so it may be a cause for concern. However Hattie Soper, studying English at Corpus, defends you and all those who have ever uttered ‘At the end of day’ or wasted our valuable time telling us ‘At this moment in time the current situation is…’ Soper told Cherwell, “It’s stupid to blame people for these little verbal tics; everyone has them. You can’t try to stem the way language is changing. Down with the Word Police.”

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