Captain’s Cocktails Carnage

The “Captain’s Cocktails” event, themed “Emergency Services”, required assistance from the real deal when an ambulance had to be called to the venue last Saturday. 

The “Captain’s Cocktails” event, themed “Emergency Services”, required assistance from the real deal when an ambulance had to be called to the venue last Saturday. 

On the 19th the Oxford University Rugby Club hosted Captain’s Cocktails at the Iffley Sports Ground. The occasion ran from 6 — 11pm and promised unlimited cocktails for the night. Tickets were £10 in advance, or £15 on the door, and were distributed through colleges by various reps in the week preceding the event. Its Facebook event page advertised that there would be £5,000 of alcohol on the night. 

One attendee, who preferred not to be named, stated, “I was the person who had to use the emergency services on Saturday night but the incident wasn’t really alcohol related. I tripped off the curb and split my chin open; it was a result of my stupidity and a general lapse in concentration rather than being intoxicated.”

A student from his college who wished to remain anonymous disputed this fact saying, “He seemed pretty wasted. It’s a big coincidence if, when you’re that drunk, your “trip and fall” (requiring an ambulance and numerous stitches) has nothing to do with the alcohol coursing through your veins.” 

The Crown Committee, who organised the event confirmed, “this year one ambulance was called to attend to a single individual who drank slightly too much.” 

They defended themselves, saying, “It is an open bar format, but in no way do we promote it as an “unlimited” drinking event, and the overwhelming majority of people attending are responsible in their intake of alcohol. In addition, we have put in place all the precautions necessary to ensure that the evening is safe and secure for all attendees.  The event ends promptly at 11pm, and everyone is quickly escorted off the premises.”

One student questioned the wisdom of dispelling large numbers of very drunk students onto the streets. Kirsty Borthwick, Welfare Officer elect for Regent’s Park told Cherwell, “The organisers of such events do of course have the right to ask people to leave promptly at the end of the night, but they do also have a responsibility to their guests. Recent reports of attacks in the Cowley/Iffley area beg the question as to why guests, and in particular female students, were allowed to stagger away from the event, in the dark, drunk and vulnerable.”

The Crown Committee stated, “As after every event, we will be reviewing the format for next year.  If we feel that the open bar format is no longer suitable, we will change it.”

One student confirmed that nights involving unlimited alcohol result in some having a less than ideal evening. The attendee admitted, “I feel the cocktails defeated me: in future perhaps I should add the word “moderation” to my dictionary. It was absolute carnage. Apparently I was staggering around knocking into people and blowing a whistle at them. I then proceeded to lose all my belongings including my phone and ID, before falling into the paddling pool.”

The struggling party goer then added,  “The following day I was so hungover I could barely see.” 

Some attendees claimed there were girls passed out beneath the scoreboard on the rugby pitch who were not found for a few hours.Celia Smith, the Female Welfare Officer at Hertford College, expressed her opinion that, “I’d say unlimited booze seems to lead to excessive drinking (many people simply getting value for money, if nothing else) so in practice it is a dangerous thing to allow. However, students should be taking responsibility for their own alcohol intake; I am less concerned by the provision of unlimited amounts of substance rather than the fact that lots of us often don’t exercise self-discipline over it.”

The person for whom one of the ambulances was called reinforced Smith’s statement. They said, “The event was attended by adults who are responsible for the amount of alcohol they consume. At the ended of the day it is up to each individual to know their own limits.”