Whenever a celebrity marries, gives birth or dies, a slew of seemingly hastily written biographies seem to appear on the shelves of Waterstones or WHSmith, ready to tap into the rising interest. The recent developments in the life of Kate Middleton (marriage and subsequent baby, for those who had their head in the sand over the last couple of years) are no exception to that particular rule.
But how does this sort of thing stand up at this point in time, when the hot air and guff that had given a little lift to the subject of the future monarchy has faded into the mists of 24 hour news reports past? Does a work like Marcia Moody’s Kate: A Biography stand up on its own? Well, no, of course not.
The impetus behind this fawning book is rotten and exploitative, for the life of Kate Middleton is not one that, if we’re being honest, merits a biography. I don’t say that as an ardent republican, but as someone who bothered to read Moody’s brownnosed ramblings, which essentially amount to a list of events Kate attended, and clothes she wore whilst attending them. This is the life of Kate Middleton as things stand.
There’s not a lot more in her early life that makes for a decent biography either. Kate hasn’t struggled – she’s the daughter of a successful businessman. It’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise, and completely unnecessary. Diana was as blue-blooded as they come, totally over-privileged, but is almost certainly biography worthy. She lived a bizarre, crazy and tragic life. We’ll come back to her in a second.
In the meantime, it is important to emphasise that you’re not underprivileged just because you weren’t a boarder, or you take yourself shopping down the local Kensington Waitrose. I’m pretty sure daughter of a multimillionaire counts as privileged, and besides the secure family and close friends she’s enjoyed her whole life (and I don’t begrudge her them) don’t really make for a life of emotional struggle or complexity.
Princess Diana remains the archetypal royal celebrity. We all know that she lived and died in the media’s spotlight, the highs and lows of a turbulent life played out before the country. And there is a craving for more. The media’s coverage of the Windsor clan’s younger members consists of incessant attempts to prophesise their futures through Diana’s life. One doesn’t have to look far to find articles floating around, prophesying the parenting technique of the Duke and Duchess as clearly being derived from the ex-Princess of Wales.
Lurking in the review section of the Amazon page for Moody’s book is ‘Gallia’s’ contribution (four stars, in case you were wondering), which is headed by the line ‘Interesting summary of a (so far) fortunate life’. Hmm, slightly ominous, don’t you think, Gallia? Maybe I’m reading too much into this – maybe Gallia is just exercising a judicious reluctance to predict an absolutely idyllic future for the young duchess and her progeny. But I don’t think it’s unreasonable to read into royal coverage a desire to find traces of Diana in the fortunes of her offspring.
A biography like this one, after all the fuss and bother has died down, just can’t stand up on its own. It is designed to tap into the hype and puff of the royal euphoria that grips the country from time to time. But what this amounts to is a series of OK! articles, strung together to resemble a book, peppered with interviews with people that really have little to do with the major moments of her life (does the guy who taught her to shoot count?).
The best bit is the reaction of snooty courtiers to her mother the former air hostess. The ‘vinegary’ Buckingham Palace attendants would apparently mock Caroline Middleton by making snide comments of “doors to manual” in reference to her mother’s former career every time she walked past. I know we’re not meant to laugh at this horribly snobbish comment, but it is also funny, in a bitchy kind of way.
Moody is determined to present Kate as the commoner, who through a sense of duty sustained by love for her husband can burst through the pressures and expectations from the media and establishment, meeting the traditional role of a princess with a touch of modernity. The reality is that Kate has had a life that seems to have consisted mainly of gap-year style trips to South America and Africa, and outings with aristocratic pals to the fashionable nightclub Boujis, where they would down ‘crackbabies’ in test-tubes (that being a drink, apparently, that was also served at Will and Kate’s wedding reception).
She may lack blue blood, but the woman who emerges from this book is (not through Moody’s intention, but the pure facts of the case) highly privileged and slightly dull. Kate may be pleasant, and charming, but these qualities alone do not warrant a biography, Ms. Moody.
Kate: A Biography is published by Michael O’Mara and is available here.
