Like being surrounded by bourgeois elderly ladies? Enjoy flaunting your hefty student grant by treating your friends to extortionate brunches? If so, then Vaults & Garden Cafe is the place for you.
Set in the tiny (read: cramped), Grade I-listed University Church of St Mary the Virgin, Vaults & Garden is what it says on the tin. Indoors, there is a café with fan-vaulted ceiling, serving food cafeteria style. Outdoors, there is a quaint garden with flowers and aromatic herbs, complete with a spectacular view of the Rad Cam.
Breakfast is usually a quiet and less claustrophobic affair. There is a wide selection of offerings, from a Full English to a vegetarian Mediterranean Breakfast. The Full English is far removed from your traditional greasy spoon offerings; modest in size, it is comprised of one decent sausage (if a bit dry), a disappointing slice of bacon, a sprinkling of mushrooms, and some average fried eggs. One star, however, shines from the plate: the café’s homemade alternative to baked beans. ‘Giant beans’, satisfyingly large butterbeans in a rich tomato sauce, are a pleasant surprise and much better than anything from a tin. However, the beans do not make up for the rest of the sub-standard breakfast, and the lack of fresh fruit juices and cold food alternatives is notable.
The general impression is a lacklustre one, especially considering the price. You would be well advised to save your money and go somewhere else. I’d recommend the Tick-Tock café on Cowley Road for a greasy fry-up, or Bill’s on St. Michael’s Street for a classier affair including freshly squeezed orange juice and some of the best porridge and pancakes around.
Lunch is quite a different experience, and one I’d be more willing to recommend. Initially, the packed café can be quite imposing, and some days it can be nigh on impossible to get a table. While sitting in the cold garden was not a viable alternative in Hilary, in warmer weather the outside seating area is rather pleasant, and the perfect setting for lunch or afternoon tea during Trinity. You may find that you need the calm of the garden after the ordeal of queueing up and finding a table without being pulverized by people trying to manoeuvre themselves around the tables that fill most of the café.
Vaults and Garden seem to pride themselves on a wide selection of food but for vegetarians the choice is unfortunately limited, though this is the case with most establishments in Oxford. The food was all very tasty, and (mostly) homemade using fresh, good quality, local ingredients, sourced from around Oxfordshire. However, much like breakfast, it was all rather average for the price. The major flaw here, again, is the cafeteria-style service, which sometimes results in sloppy presentation and cold food. For the same price, you can get a freshly-cooked hot meal in much more relaxed and pleasant surroundings in Oxford.
Though perhaps satisfactory for the odd outing for lunch with family or high school friends, I will not be frequenting the Vaults & Garden. I certainly wouldn’t recommend that you do either.
