A selection of our favourites…
“M9 – Wadham tonite 7:30… be there yeh”
“Dear Sir or Madam,
We would like to extend our warmest invitation to the hallowed halls of ‘the house’ (Christ Church, Oxford). We would be delighted to see you (if you can, it’s to your convenience of course), not half an hour after evensong this Tuesday in two weeks time. We hope to presume upon your correspondence. Bring a tie.”
“HEYA!!!!!
So like we have the most amazzzzzballzzzz show happening at the BT in a few hours and we like, oh by the way my name is lottie, haha- hahahah sorry lol should have said. Anyway it’s like at the BT in two hours so like if you could do a preview, write it up put it on the website that is totally what we’re entitled to. “
“To whomever believes they own the meaning of their words,
Death/////
Life//////
Light/////
Darkness//
Inter-textuality///////////
Language, and movement, and meaning
and life and… silence…and preview… please? (no complementary ticket)”
“Hello,
I am currently writing a thesis on the representation of representation as represented in the seventeenth-century representations of theatre. I have decided to stage a production in light of my findings. I do not yet know what the play will be or when or where but I assure you it promises to be thrilling. Could I count on your presence?”
“Right, you fucker. Not once have you shown up to my previews or plays. I am writing to inform you that OUDS has set up a designated hit squad for negligent reviewers. You monster. We are going to sue you for gross professional misconduct – have you any idea the serious damage you have caused me after not receiving my twice-termly self-affirmation from reviews? “
