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Russian Ambassador returns to Oxford

Oliver Adelson and Cem Kozanoglu
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Russian Ambassador returns to Oxford

The Russian Ambassador to the UK, Andrey Kelin, addressed the Oxford Majlis Society at the Randolph Hotel on 29 November. His talk covered the shift to a multipolar world, the Russian position on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

This was not Kelin’s first time speaking for a student society at Oxford. Last May, the Oxford Russian Club hosted a Q&A with the ambassador, sparking much controversy throughout the University. Ultimately, the May invitation helped spur disaffected Russian students to form the New Russian Society.

It was this newly formed society that organised one of the protests against Kelin’s Majlis Society address. Half an hour before Kelin’s 6 p.m. speech, about forty protestors gathered outside the hotel to demonstrate against the ambassador’s presence at the University. The student society explained their motivations for the protest in a social media post earlier this week, writing: “We believe it is inappropriate to provide a platform for Russian state officials to disseminate their warmongering narratives and justify their brutal invasion of Ukraine. We have already reached out to the organiser society, but they dismissed our concerns.”

Another protest against the Russian ambassador was organised by the Ukrainian Society, which told Cherwell that the invitation “ha[d] nothing to do with freedom of speech, as it only [gave] platform to the dissemination of propaganda and the legitimisation of the aggression against sovereign states.”

When asked about the decision to host the ambassador, one protestor told Cherwell: “He has no business speaking here.” He continued: “It’s not because he’s Russian I’m Russian too.” Instead, the protestor said it was the ambassador’s connection with the Russian government that warranted rescinding his invitation to speak.

Another protestor held a sign that read: “My previous university was banned in Russia. Thank you for securing the freedom of speech for prosecutors [sic] of academic freedom!”

Some protesters brandished the Ukrainian flag and the “white-blue-white” flag, created by anti-war activists to represent opposition to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

The ambassador began his address by saying that he would state his views on the current situation and that he “welcome[d] all sorts of questions as long as they [were] in the form of civilised discussion.”

His first topic of discussion was the shift toward a multipolar world, which he said arose from “new centres being created in Latin America, Africa, and Asia” despite the US’s best efforts to avoid multipolarity through its policy of “divide and rule.”

On the conflict in the Middle East, the ambassador criticised Israel’s policy toward the Palestinians, stating: “In Israel, they were thinking that if they wouldn’t mention Palestinian issues for a period of time, everyone would forget about the Palestinians, and other Arab nations would resume relations with Israel.

“I would like to confirm that we are against all forms of terrorism. Of course what Hamas did on October 7 is in this category…What is being done in Gaza and in Palestine is also unacceptable.”

The ambassador told the audience that Russia’s position since the first day of the crisis in the Middle East has been for the full cessation of hostilities, the protection of civilians, and the opening of humanitarian corridors. He also affirmed his support for a two-state solution based on June ‘67 borders.

The ambassador then drew an analogy between the West’s approach to Israel-Palestine and the West’s approach to Russia-Ukraine: “Western nations forget the history of the crisis…They are trying to say the crisis in the Middle East started on October 7. They are trying to say conflict in Ukraine began on February 24 , 2022. This is not true.”

Before taking questions, the ambassador stated: “My last point is that we are not against Ukrainian sovereignty at all. We would like to have as a neighbour the neutral and prosperous Ukraine.”

One audience member asked the ambassador about Russia’s policy of punishing dissidents, citing cases where non-violent dissidents received harsher sentences than convicted murderers. The ambassador said he was not familiar with the details of specific cases but criticised Western journalistic coverage of dissidents in Russia. He told the audience: “It’s one thing to say you dislike an operation. No one is going to touch you. But if you raise money to send to Ukrainian forces it’s another thing. Or, if you gather information to send to Ukraine, the state has to protect itself.” 

Human Rights Watch has, however, released detailed reports on the Russian government handing down “long prison sentences for ‘offences’ such as referring to the armed conflict in Ukraine as a ‘war,’ criticising the invasion or the conduct of Russian armed forces, and reporting on war crimes by the Russian military or on Ukrainian civilian casualties.”

One woman in the audience told the ambassador that she “felt sorry if Russian speakers had been oppressed in Donbas” before asking what Russian troops were doing in Odesa and Kyiv. Ambassador Kelin interrupted to say that there were no troops in Odesa, which prompted the woman to ask, “Then why are there Russian missiles there?” The ambassador claimed that Russia was only targeting military assets: “This is what every country does.”

Another audience member stated she was from Odesa, Ukraine. She said one of her former students had been killed along with her six-month-old child by a Russian airstrike. She then asked the ambassador what the security guarantees would be for Ukraine if it became a “neutral state” and how the Ukrainians could know that they would be safeguarded against Russian aggression.

The ambassador said that it was unclear whether the strike in Odesa came from an anti-aircraft missile launched by Ukraine or from a weapon launched by Russia. He then claimed that Russia had already proposed security guarantees to Ukraine that were rejected by the US and NATO in December 2021, months before the start of the war. He invoked similar guarantees made in 2009 and 2005, which he said were also rejected.

After the event, several dozen protestors outside chanted “shame” as the ambassador left The Randolph Hotel.

The Ukrainian Society has also told Cherwell that some people were refused entry to the event while carrying Ukrainian flags, which would have allegedly “provoke[d] the ambassador.” They added: “It is interesting how selective in the eyes of the Majlis Society freedom of speech is.”

In response, The Majlis told Cherwell that  “threats of physical violence by members of Ukraine Society” were the reason some had been denied entry. They further stated that they regretted “accusations of selective free speech” and said that they had offered to host a similar type of event for a Ukrainian representative. 

The Ukraine Society has since denied making threats of physical violence. In an extended response to Cherwell, the Society wrote: “We are deeply disturbed by Oxford Majlis Society’s allegations against Oxford University Ukrainian Society, specifically by the patently untrue claim of our members threatening the attendees with physical violence. There have never been any attempts or plans to threaten the community by any of the members of the Oxford University Ukrainian Society. 

“The person who was denied entry to the event was a Ukrainian journalist. Wrapping her shoulders with the Ukrainian flag, she attempted to enter the premises with her child but was rudely banned. Despite having the ticket and presenting her ID, the guards did not provide a reason why they denied her right to enter the event…

“We have some of the recordings of the conversation between our members and the Oxford Majlis representatives that confirm there have not been any threats from our side. Additionally, there have been countless witnesses to every conversation and argument happening. Moreover, the police have been present at the location of the event. The police did not record any threats nor were informed of any threats by members of the Majlis Society.”

This article was updated to include comment from the Ukrainian Society and the Majlis at 23:05 on 6 December 2023. The Majlis have been reached out to for further comment.

Investment in (men’s) sports needs to slow down.

Zoe Abereoje
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Investment in (men’s) sports needs to slow down.

A few weeks ago, listening to Ian Wright’s 60th birthday podcast special I picked up on something very interesting. When asked what he wanted to spend this stage of his life doing he responded, helping grow the women’s game and when asked why he responded, “It’s really pure”. At first, I wasn’t really sure how to interpret this comment but looking at the way the sport interacts with its fans, growth and investment against the men’s side, I feel pretty confident to say I have grasped the distinction.

When investments are made into the women’s game, it is a decision by shareholders and investors to grow the sport in the name of fans, the competitors involved and for the general growth of the sport. When a large investment is made on the men’s side, I’m not sure the intentions are the same. It tends to come down to one thing alone: financial incentive. I’m not trying to paint this incentive as negative, after all, the largest male sports are usually very well established, face very few existential threats and have large followings already, therefore, it would be impossible for me to expect the same intentions for investments across each side. What I find concerning, however, is that seemingly the faster-growing sport is the more established side.

This weekend saw the introduction of the Las Vegas F1 weekend, held on a racing circuit that wound through the lit-up streets of Vegas. With the track featuring a straight that ran alongside the strip of Vegas’ largest and most expensive hotels, a Rolls Royce used as a cooldown room and constant advertising plastered across the newly built Sphere throughout the race, to say money wasn’t the incentive for the weekend would be impossible. The levels of investment seen in F1’s modern era is incredible, with race weekends cropping up from Miami to Riyadh. The sport once considered heavily exclusive to Europe now engages more in races outside of the continent than within it.

And while the levels of investment in F1 are at incredible highs the same really cannot be said for the women’s side. A criticism that has consistently been laid at F1’s feet is the lack of women in the sport, something that the W-series, an all-women’s racing championship, has sought to correct since 2019. While the W series wasn’t perfect, it certainly didn’t deserve its demise as it went into administration this year. My argument isn’t so much to say, that F1 doesn’t deserve to grow, I raise the question of why it is allowed to grow in the face of issues and inequalities that need to be solved.

Even a similar effect can be seen in football. It is easy to assume that inequality between the two games is reducing as more visibility is gained on the women’s side. However, if reducing inequality between the two sides of the sport was ever meant to be a long-term goal, it can never be achieved for as long as the investment trends between the two sports continue. Investment in the men’s game does not seem to be slowing down even though it is unequivocally established as a sport. This is not to say the women’s side hasn’t experienced its fair share of growth too, looking at the UK only, Arsenal WFC smashed the WSL average attendance record last season with 17,501.

While the trajectory of the women’s side does look great, this holds no torch to the financial prospects of the men’s astronomical earnings. With the new Swiss format for the Champions League starting next year and the plans by FIFA to install a new club World Cup, it is clear the money that investors stand to gain from the men’s side of the game could be very lucrative. However, this growth, in my opinion, is entirely unnecessary; the Champions League format was just fine, save from fears from organisations and investors alike that larger teams can currently go out too soon which could risk revenues.

The Swiss format would have made more sense in the women’s side, with big teams like Manchester United and Juventus leaving the women’s Champions League so early. Investment for the good of the game would make sense here yet it hasn’t been seen. In contrast, investment in the men’s game has no signs of stopping, as international competitions develop, so do other leagues like the Saudi Pro League, appearing to have endless sums of money ready to be spent. Despite the strides taken in the women’s game it is difficult to ignore the enormous leaps the men’s side has been making recently.

I would argue that excessive money and investment have always been a tenet of (men’s) sports but recently this has reached new levels. More and more global investors are spending money on sports. American investment in non-American sports surely has never been so high, with F1 charting three separate races in America, its grip on the sport grows, stronger and more influential each year. Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney have a whole documentary detailing their investment from California into Wrexham AFC and if that wasn’t enough they have joined the Otro capital group which is investing in Alpine a French F1 team along with other stars like Trent Alexander Arnold and Micheal B Jordan. Riyadh is the new boxing capital of the world, and it might just be the centre of football in a decade. Despite these sports being enormous already, more money is filtering in from across the world at blinding rates.

Fundamentally international investment sentiment has massively shifted to the point where (men’s) sports appear to be the new blue-chip stock. With established fan bases and competition structures, it seems that eyes are increasingly turning towards sport as the “best bang for your buck”. With all this money being invested in one side of the sport, I would say that this threatens to increase the gendered inequality that only recently people are becoming more aware of. While changes in the Champions League format, new F1 races, new golf competitions and boxing fights promise endless opportunities, one opportunity stands to be lost and that is closing the gap across the genders.

Image Credit: Alex-David Baldi // CC BY 2.0 DEED

Oxford survey finds confidence in the West to be declining

Cherwell News
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Oxford survey finds confidence in the West to be declining

The results of a major global public opinion survey indicate confidence in the West and the stability of its alliances is waning. 

Oxford University’s Europe in a Changing World research project—in partnership with the European Council on Foreign Relations (ECFR)—conducted an opinion poll across 21 nations, asking participants for their views on international alignment, the West, and leadership. 

The survey, conducted in September and October 2023, had about 1,000 respondents from each participating country. However, respondents from China, India, and Russia were not representative of national demographics since they were chosen from exclusively rural areas. 

The subsequent report, co-authored by Oxford Professor Timothy Garton Ash, political scientist Ivan Krastev, and ECFR director Mark Leonard, concluded that although respondents across the world generally view the Western way of life positively, the West (specifically the EU) lacks the hard power necessary to compete. Instead, a large number of individuals have diagnosed the West as having less stable alliances and a dim future for liberal democracy. 

Central to the report is the finding that alliances are becoming more fluid, with respondents preferring to side with different countries depending on the target issue. This is a significant shift away from bipolar blocs that have traditionally dominated international politics. 

Despite alliance fragmentation, many nations still say they would prefer security cooperation with the US to China, and, when asked what a “good leader” is, most participants chose “seeking international cooperation” as paramount. 

When asked where they would prefer to live (other than their own country) most non-Western respondents said either the US or the EU. Only 5% of non-Western respondents chose China. 

However, although Western standards of living are internationally recognised as preferable, there is surprisingly little trust in the future of Western political clout. Most people surveyed in Russia, China, and Saudi Arabia believe the EU will collapse in the next 20 years. When asked to describe the EU in one word, respondents rarely chose “strong.” 

Moreover, the majority of respondents from China and Saudi Arabia indicated they believed the US would cease to be a democracy in the next 20 years. The grim picture of the West painted by these autocratic countries may be a reflection of a new anti-West posture in these states. 

Additionally, while the West believes in its ability to help Ukraine beat Russia, most of the rest of the world is placing their bets on Russia. 

It is important to note, however, that respondents from some countries might not have been able to share their true opinions. 

The authors of the survey suggest the EU should adopt a policy of “strategic interdependence,” recognizing that while the EU will never be completely self-sufficient, it needs to do much more to make itself a strong geopolitical actor. Additionally, the report suggested the EU broaden its alliances by fortifying relations with newly emerged middle powers such as Turkey, India, Brazil, and South Africa. In response to the weakening perception of the West and its alliances, Professor Garton Ash concludes the solution is investment in military and security to bolster “hard power” in a bid to secure the EU’s role as a geopolitical actor on the world stage. 

The survey, though alarming, doesn’t point to freezing ties between states as much as to shifting attitudes of individuals across different countries. The question of whether popular opinion will influence policy changes is still up for debate.

Three titles shortlisted for Blackwell’s Book of the Year

Selina Chen
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Three titles shortlisted for Blackwell’s Book of the Year

A panel from Oxford institution booksellers Blackwell’s have named Mary Beard’s Emperor of Rome, Martin MacInnes’ In Ascension, and Pari Thomson’s Greenwild as winners of Blackwell’s non-fiction, fiction and children’s Book of the Year respectively. 

The category winners are nominees for Blackwell’s Book of the Year, which will be announced on 28 November.

As the author of international bestseller SPQR on ancient Rome, Beard has changed her recent focus to the emperors that ruled the Roman Empire. Emperor of Rome goes beyond a chronological account of Roman political history, instead “[asking] bigger questions: What power did emperors actually have? Was the Roman palace really so bloodstained?” said Blackwell’s synopsis.

Blackwell’s Oxford bookseller James Orton described the work as “an in depth look at the eccentricities of the emperors that ruled Rome through its most turbulent time in History. A classic example of when fact can be much stranger than fiction.”

In Ascension traverses space instead of time as marine scientist Leigh explores remote locations across the world in search of answers beyond human understanding. Blackwell’s synopsis describes the book as a “compassionate, deeply inquisitive epic that reaches outward to confront the greatest questions of existence [and] looks inward to illuminate the smallest details of the human heart.”

The first of Thomson’s New York Times bestselling fantasy series, Greenwild takes young readers on an enchanting journey with Daisy, a boarding school escapee who discovers a hidden doorway into “a spellbinding world where the wilderness is alive and a deep magic rises from the earth itself,” according to Blackwell’s synopsis.

Founded in 1879, on 50 Broad Street, Oxford, Blackwell’s has since expanded into a chain of 30 bookshops across the UK. Its Norrington Room held for many years the Guinness Record for the single largest room in the world selling books.

Oxford University Hospitals fail to meet A&E wait-time standards

Elizabeth Waters
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Oxford University Hospitals fail to meet A&E wait-time standards

In October, only 62% of patients at A&E departments at Oxford University Hospitals were seen within four hours, falling short of the usual NHS standard of 95% and the revised 2024 NHS standard of 76%.

Plans to reassess target wait times in A&E departments were announced by the NHS in 2019 but subsequently halted by the COVID-19 pandemic. Since the pandemic, wait times have increased significantly and the NHS has been forced to return to the issue. 

While previous standards aimed to have 95% of patients admitted, transferred or discharged within four hours, hospitals are now striving to see 76% of cases within four hours by 2024. This is a significant decrease from previous goals but would mark an improvement upon the record nationwide low of 65% of cases handled within four hours in December of 2022. With only 70% of cases seen within four hours this October, however, it is unlikely the NHS will meet their new goal.  

Oxford is expected to have particular difficulty meeting the revised NHS goals. This October, only 62% of patients at A&E departments in Oxford University Hospitals were taken care of within four hours. 

A first-year student at Pembroke, Mali Wood, spent eight hours at the John Radcliffe Hospital Emergency Department with a sprained ankle. She told Cherwell that, despite the staff’s best efforts, “it felt like no one was being seen.” Mali was seen by a nurse within two hours and had an X-ray taken, but to receive the results for that X-ray, she had to wait six hours. Surrounded by helpful friends and able to work on her essay despite mild pain, Mali managed to endure her all-night hospital visit. Unfortunately, some of the children and older patients did not find the wait as easy. 

The average wait time before being seen at the John Radcliffe Hospital is four hours, while the Horton General Hospital in Banbury has an average wait time of three hours. Wait times for ambulances are similarly long. Three Oxford students who called an ambulance for a patient with alcohol poisoning near St Hilda’s report having to monitor the patient for 30 minutes before an ambulance could arrive. Oxford East MP and Labour Party chairwoman Anneliese Dodds says she regularly hears from constituents “who are scared that in an emergency there’s no guarantee an ambulance will arrive on time, if at all.” 

In nearby Banbury, Conservative MP Victoria Prentis encourages patients to help reduce wait times: “It is important that people follow NHS guidance in using A&E for genuine life-threatening emergencies.” She believes wait times are moving in the right direction. Oxford West and Abingdon MP Layla Moran does not agree, maintaining that “the Tory government has failed to tackle the crisis in our NHS and is putting patients’ lives at risk.” Moran finds these wait times evidence that the NHS is beyond the “breaking point” and “splitting at the seams.” 

When approached for comment, Sara Randall, Chief Operating Officer at Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust told Cherwell, “We make every effort to try and reduce the length of time that patients have to wait to be seen in our Emergency Departments. 

“Patients will always be seen in the order of clinical priority, with the sickest patients being seen first. We have worked hard to successfully reduce the longest waits in our Emergency Departments. I would like to apologise to any patient who has still experienced a long waiting time. Our Emergency Departments do have busier times, such as in the late evenings, and waits can be longer then.”

Oxford Robotics Institute wins Queen’s Anniversary Prize

Cem Kozanoglu
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Oxford Robotics Institute wins Queen’s Anniversary Prize

The Oxford Robotics Institute (ORI), a subsidiary of the Department of Engineering Science, was among the 22 UK educational institutions that were awarded the Queen’s Anniversary Prize in 2023. ORI was recognised for supporting future sustainability and delivering fundamental advances in autonomous robotics technology, including RobotCar, the first autonomous vehicle allowed on UK roads.

The prize is awarded every two years by the Royal Anniversary Trust, which was established to mark and celebrate Queen Elizabeth’s 40th year on the throne. The charity aims to “recognise and promote innovation by UK colleges and universities that benefits wider society.”

Sir Damon Buffini, Chair of The Royal Anniversary Trust said: “The Queen’s Anniversary Prizes for Higher and Further Education are an integral part of our national Honours system, shining a light on the ground-breaking work taking place in universities and colleges across the UK.”

ORI’s recent achievements include validating the safety and capability of robotics technologies in over 380 field trials in locations as diverse as Icelandic volcanoes, the Atacama Desert, Loch Ness, mine sites in the UK and US, and the surroundings of the JET fusion reactor. It was also instrumental in the adoption of safer, cleaner nuclear energy strategies for Sellafield and the UK Atomic Energy Authority.

The institute has published over 900 papers and gathered £40 million in funding and their research has generated 22 patents, 70 intellectual property licences and 4 startups. Their teaching programme has trained over 120 PhDs, 40 postdoctoral researchers, and at least 60 Masters students.

Professor Irene Tracey, Vice-Chancellor of the University of Oxford wished “[c]ongratulations to all those involved”, stating that “[ORI’s] work is a fantastic example of our researchers collaborating with industry to come up with cutting-edge solutions to the world’s challenges, from supporting sustainability in agriculture to improving safety in manufacturing.”

The winners will be presented with a medal and certificate at a formal Honours ceremony in February 2024.

Oxford-led consortium secures £18 million in funding for doctoral studentships

Cayman Osei-Bonsu
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Oxford-led consortium secures £18 million in funding for doctoral studentships

A new award will back an innovative training programme and external engagement for students to become modern leaders in impactful social science research. Funding from the Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC) will support 31 five-year studentships through the Grand Union Doctoral Training Partnership (DTP). The DTP brings together Oxford, The Open University, and Brunel University London. 

The extra funding by the universities and Oxford colleges means the Grand Union DTP from October 2024 will likely increase studentships to 45 per year, 38 based in Oxford.

DTPs assemble a consortium of research organisations, offering tailored training for doctoral research students in interdisciplinary or subject-specific areas in the social sciences. 

It will include data, big data, behavioral science, AI and machine learning skills. It will incorporate professional development skills: leadership, project management, communication and enterprise. Once piloted via the DTP, the courses will become more accessible to other research students.

Notably, the funding supports a “research-in-practise” element, enabling DTP students to practice their skills with external partners, both academic and non-academic. Studentships will be funded for 3.5 years, where all students will engage in a placement or internship in academia, policy, business, or a third-sector body. 

The ESRC Executive Chair, Stian Westlake, stated the new opportunity will “enhance the experience for PhD students and boost the UK’s capability.” It will “develop globally competitive social science researchers” across a range of sectors with a “diversity of backgrounds and experiences.”

Associate Head of the Social Sciences Division and the Grand Union DTP Director, Rebecca Surender, said it was a “fabulous result for Oxford and its DTP partners.” Oxford will pioneer “enhanced methods training, external internships, and widening participation”. Additionally, she was delighted to have a strong basis to build the new DTP phase and looks “forward to helping to advance the next generation of social science leaders.”

Is the minority still the majority?

Violet Aitchison
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Is the minority still the majority?

It has been years since infamous private member societies such as ‘The Bullingdon Club’ or ‘The Piers Gaveston Society’ have reigned supreme at Oxford; the university and students alike condemning their behaviour. It has also been around twenty years since the proportion of state school-educated students surpassed that of privately educated students. On paper, it looks like the tables have turned on those educated at the most elite schools in the country, but as a state school-educated member of the university it doesn’t always feel that way. 

I was lucky enough to attend an extremely high-performing state comprehensive. In 2021, when I won a place, so too did fifty-one other students from my college to attend either Oxford or Cambridge. This is an extremely impressive number for a nonselective school. However, when you take into account that there were one-thousand six hundred students in my year group, that’s actually only 3.25% of the student body. In the same year, St Paul’s Girls School, one of the top-performing private girls’ schools in the country, had a staggering 46.9% success rate. 

But facts have never made good news stories. Since the proportion of state school students at Oxford has risen, so has the number of screaming headlines in the national press. Papers such as The Times love to shout about private school students who’ve ‘lost out’ on their chances in the name of equality. ‘Private pupils shunned by Oxbridge are being ‘driven overseas’, ‘Going private is putting our children’s Oxbridge chances at risk, parents fear’, and ‘White private school boys are the new disadvantaged, says Cambridge academic’ are just a few real article headlines which have been published in the past couple years.  

The reality of the situation is, of course, a little more complex. Only seven percent of the population attends private school and yet they make up around 30% of Oxford students. However, the crux of the issue isn’t so much about the weight of the name of your school in relation to your success, but about the things you’ve learned there which give you an advantage.  In my experience Oxford is still very tailored towards the culture of these schools; before these pupils even attend Oxford or Cambridge, they know the secrets. And it’s this that really makes it feel as if, despite statistics, state school-educated pupils are still in the minority.  

Before I went to Oxford I had never really been asked where I went to school. The question at first surprised me. Why would anyone know of my school and what relevance would it have to our possible friendship? However, I quickly learned that for attendees of those top London private schools, it held a meaning, a sort of secret code. It provided an instant bond, an opportunity to discuss mutual friends and experiences only available to those who attended those types of schools. Which also, for those of us who were not a part of it, unknowingly created a divide. Subconsciously, these initial alliances create a feeling that there is a ‘group’ you could never be a part of, or rather one that you would have to work to understand. And indeed, you do. Never have I known the names of so many independent schools in and around London, nor been able to add to a conversation by adding an anecdote of another friend at the university who attended the same place.  

But the issue is not just in the where-did-you-go-to-school conversations. There are so many other traditions which new students have to familiarise themselves with. Before coming to Oxford, I wonder how many of you had heard of matriculation, formal hall, or sub fusc. For each of these things, I felt words like this made me feel completely in the dark. What was the dress code, and how should you behave? Luckily for me, I had a friend from school who went a year earlier than myself who told me I needed to get hold of some ‘black tie’ wear for formal. Black tie was not a concept I was familiar with, and only after some research was I able to look online for a formal dress that would be appropriate. My only experience with ‘formal’ dress before coming to Oxford was prom in year eleven or the occasional wedding. Despite being assured that many others were in the same position as me, my lack of knowledge made me feel stupid. Surely by nineteen, I should have known how to do something as easy as get dressed in the right clothes.  

Of course, though, these traditions are not something you have to buy into, and it’s not as if you’ll be penalized for not taking part. Wadham is a shining example of a college that rejects them by replacing balls with ‘Wadstock’ and scrapping formals altogether. Wadham might prove that things have shifted, and that the University is taking steps to move away from the focus on private school culture. But the very fact that Wadham has chosen to reject these traditions is very telling. Surely we only need to reject the things that impact our lives. Wadham’s rejection in fact shows just how entrenched the rest of Oxford is in these old-school traditions. All of which fits nicely in with what students from private schools have spent years preparing for. 

Inevitably, these feelings also slip into the academic life of Oxford. As someone who is used to classes of thirty-plus pupils, tiny tutorials at first felt uncomfortable and exposing to me. In the first few weeks, I held back ideas and stumbled nervously over my words. Private schools by contrast pride themselves on small class numbers and much more individual-focused learning, which I can assure you is something I wish I had had more experience of in that first tutorial. I had never envied the private school experience before an Oxford tutorial, but I had to learn quickly how to build up the confidence to effectively communicate my ideas. This was a confidence that had been instilled into my counterparts for at least five years. It didn’t take long for me to get a handle on this, but there were certainly many awkward silences and cringe-worthy moments in the first few weeks which made the process feel more difficult. 

Eventually, putting on ‘black tie’ becomes as easy as putting on your pyjamas, and a one-on-one tutorial is simply part of your weekly routine. However, that doesn’t shake the feeling that you’re often playing catch up with this culture. And the onus is on the state school students to adapt, learn the codes, and build up our confidence to a private school level. Not all of this is bad, but it is different. The media can keep on saying that the system has changed to favour state school pupils, but the truth is that I spent my first year striving to adapt to the lifestyle at Oxford. This isn’t to say that I didn’t also have a great time – it has in fact been one of the best years of my life so far. But it’s also undeniable that many of my privately educated peers didn’t have to waste time thinking about this, feeling comfortable from their very first day.  

“Rich and original”: ‘Parables, Fables, Nightmares’ Review

Rufus Jones
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“Rich and original”: ‘Parables, Fables, Nightmares’ Review

Parables, Fables, Nightmares is the first short story collection published by Malachi McIntosh. A short traditional story collection can be likened to a gallery of sameness – great pictures with a few stylistic differences – essentially stories varying only in content rather than in style.

The uniformity often found in such collections can put people off, since they appear less exciting. But insipid sameness is nowhere to be found in McIntosh’s work.

The collection is a unique one compared to others I’ve read recently – like Raymond Carver or Ernest Hemingway say – as it is not exclusively made up of pieces structured as typical short stories. For instance, one is a list (White Wedding), one is a two-page piece, one is without a title. McIntosh uses the tried-and-tested short story format as a starting point and goes from there. This experimentation is not done purely for novelty’s sake, however. If a story’s format is unique, it serves a clear purpose: to enhance the reading experience in a way a conventional structure cannot; whether to make a joke funnier or a sad moment sadder or heart-warming moment more uplifting.

Even if the diverse range of formats all land, as they do here, they are wasted if the writing itself is bad. There is no need for such concern here. McIntosh’s prose more than carries its weight: outlandish, funny, moving and ingeniously fresh. The phrase ‘a way with words’, though trite, is an apt description of McIntosh’s style. His prose fits perfectly into the mould of each of his stories which vary wildly in voice and circumstances; he has a way with each of these that makes them a delight to read for entirely unique reasons. The voices of his characters, whether a dedicated but neurotic mother trying to prove the world’s opinion of her child wrong (Examination) or a well-meaning but crabby father who discovers his adult son no longer resembles the child he knew (Mirrors), sound idiosyncratic and genuine. To write in a number of distinct voices with confidence and ease is no easy thing.

McIntosh’s uncanny and inexhaustible ability to write astonishingly rich and original descriptions is clear throughout. Two of my favourites are from the story White Wedding: the first is the description of a sexually-frustrated fiancé who resolutely abstains from masturbation for a month, purportedly to make his honeymoon more passionate. Consequently, his penis becomes ‘some wild Grecian deity in his jeans, storming at every mild provocation and threatening to enter the world of men and set things right’. After caving and spending hours shamefully but intensely masturbating, his erection does not subside. His unabating member looks like a ‘hitchhiker’s thumb forever thrusting out below his waistband’. My prim readers should note they are not all as ribald as this. They are equally as humorous, though.

As with every short story collection, the great ones cast a long and uncompromising shadow which make the more flawed stories stand out. Hemingway is one example; The Snows of Kilimanjaro and Big Two-Hearted River are such exquisite stories that his others in any collection don’t look as good nor deliver the same oomph. I was not unimpressed with the vast majority in this collection; it is just that the exceptional ones made me hungry for what I found in them and when the other stories did not deliver as much, I was disappointed.

As a reader, instead of trying to fit a conventional story-shaped hole into the lock of each piece, it is tempting to use the mediums listed in the title instead. To discount them would be a mistake but to rigidly sort each story into either a parable, fable or nightmare misses the point. McIntosh’s clear vision of the short story’s capabilities and his skilful manipulation of them ultimately makes the vivid and multivarious ways a short story can turn out appear obvious.

Parables, Fables, Nightmares by Malachi McIntosh is available to purchase from The Emma Press.

Genetics

Kiaya Phillips
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Genetics

What beauty is there
In the anger that spills from your lips?
After every kiss
A fight
Uneven ground
I’ve become so good at telling lies
The droplets fall; I wipe them
Away
Without a thought
You used to brush them from my cheeks
With tentative hands and shaking fingers
Now I turn away,

I really am my mother’s child
But I have my father’s rage
Pent up inside
My brother just has his eyes
From which, I turn away
Though I love my brother dearly
All the pain
And the exercises
And yet he grabs my hand, still
Pleads with those eyes
That belong to a different face
One much less kind.

I could run
But my fate would find me
As it travels through my veins
Filing through my DNA
I was born to wear this broken crown
Genetically programmed
This damaged commodity.


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