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Review: Hide Your Smiling Faces

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★★★★★
Five Stars

People often talk about the emotions a film made them feel, and where they felt them. A film can tug at your heart strings, tie your stomach in knots, make your brain hurt or sit in your gut. Hide Your Smiling Faces, which is beginning its limited release in London this week before expanding to other major cities, settles atop your rib cage, weighing down onto your lungs. It feels mostly like regret, but a little like resignation. And it’s magnificent.

The film is an unconventional coming of age tale that concerns itself with two brothers who live with their parents in a small provincial community that is spread throughout a seemingly endless forest. One of the boys is about to enter adolescence, the other about to leave it. The oldest is disaffected and frustrated, unarticulated rage and resentment lying constantly beneath the surface. The youngest is slowly beginning to lose his wide-eyed naïveté, emulating the eldest without understanding him.

The film feels like the kind that belongs in galleries, told as it is in disconnected vignettes. Its technique is subtle, its director’s hand hidden, so that we feel we are observing a story, rather than being told one.

Another boy from the neighbourhood falls from a viaduct to his death. An argument with a neighbour about the family dog escalates. One of the boys learns to swim. These types of loose narrative threads unfold slowly and insignificantly, adding to the characters’ lack of purpose and invoking the audience’s memories of the claustrophobia and heat of the long summers of childhood. The slow pace both numbs you and makes you restless, and so we come to understand the boys.

The film’s primary theme is the boys’ existential awakening. They are fascinated with the borders of their existence, though the youngest is just beginning to grasp where these lie, whilst the oldest is already tired of them. They observe bugs and lizards crawling across their skin. They wrestle with other neighbourhood boys in secluded fields, they inflict emotional wounds on authority figures to see how far the repercussions extend.

We feel the eldest’s weariness with the borders of his experience in the never ending forest, in the ceaseless evening light, in the constant drone of the ambient score that eventually quietens down to reveal, even worse, monotonous silence.

Some scenes play out in a single take, whilst others cut between intimate closeups and distant long shots. In this way we are invited to observe the same surfaces of places and people that the boys experience, but like them we are also kept at a distance. Our understanding of scenes is only what we bring to them, what memories and feelings we project onto these surfaces. We have to make sense of the film’s environment as much as the boys do.

Part of this discovery of their own existence is the discovery of death, the spectre of which hangs over the whole film. Again, the youngest is just becoming aware of his own mortality whilst the oldest is already well aware of his, perhaps even glad of it. Adults try to deal with the death of the boy who fell, animal carcases litter the woods, their friend tells them he wants to die.

That these ideas simmer quietly without further examination for much of the film reminds us of the boys’ innocence, of their inarticulacy and of their tenuous grasp on the border between life and death. They continue to play on the viaduct, to fight each other, to toy with stolen weapons. They know that actions have consequences, but they think that like the ripples on the surface of their lake, that they only spread outwards from the source. The film shows how much more complicated it can be than that.

A haunting and poetic work with inspired minimalist direction and some of the most naturalist children’s performances ever captured on screen, Hide Your Smiling Faces is a must see film for fans of personal film-making. It is nostalgic not for the transience of childhood, but for the seeming endlessness in which it is experienced. A sensory experience as much as an intellectual one, the film is hypnotic, thematically potent, and my favourite film of the year so far. Seek it out.

Review: Phox — Phox

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Four Stars
★★★★☆

The self-titled album from Wisconsin sextet Phox is a genre-busting magical mystery tour. Blending rock, psychedelia and soul with Caribbean rhythms and banjo riffs, the result is a summery ferment that makes perfect holiday listening.

Due to be released on September 1st, the album follows the success of the band’s recent single ‘Slow Motion’. Describing themselves as “endowed mutants” who “make music that straddles Feist and Monty Python”, their eclectic tastes are immediately apparent.

The key to the album’s success lies with the lead singer, Monica Martin. Her voice, powerful but with a husky undertone, is redolent of Lana Del Rey: the listener is immediately drawn in to the subtle rise and fall of the melody.

The second track on the album, the amicable, ska-influenced ‘Leisure’, does what it says on the tin. The perfectly crafted melodies are at once captivating and soporific, and the inclusion of string and clarinet solos keep up the interest.

Adventurous harmonies and hazy nostalgia define ‘Slow Motion’. The hammond organ, banjos, and whistling seem opposed to the Caribbean rhythms, yet it somehow works: the song is one of the album’s catchiest.

‘Laura’, placed towards the middle of the album, is a slow, thoughtful lament lasting over six minutes. Lulling the listener into a trance, Martin’s silky voice floats, disembodied, above guitar, synth and string textures. However, the track feels too long: the interest is lost after four or five minutes.

The weakest track on the album is ‘Kingfisher’, which features endless guitar riffs and a whimsical flute solo. Attempting to straddle the line between the light-hearted and the glib, it comes down decidedly on the side of the latter.

‘In Due Time’ is a welcome acoustic addition, providing respite from the eclectic instrument combinations and allowing Martin to really show off her voice. The Caribbean vibe returns for the closer, ‘Evil’, which, despite the name, is one of the happiest, most up-beat tracks on the album.

Phox’s adventurous combinations of unusual instruments, distinctive harmonies and subtle melodies pay off. An outstanding debut, this group seem destined for great things. 

The Smiths: Then and Now

What is the strange musical organism that flourishes in the canals of Manchester? From Ian Curtis to the Gallaghers, the virus of musical talent seems to have been drunk from its waters by every generation. Thirty years after its first release, self-titled album The Smiths (1984) continues to infect listeners and musicians alike.

However, fans and critics have suggested that the album is far from the band’s best work. True, the raw beauty of Morrissey’s voice and Marr’s trademark ‘jangle’ are unjustifiably restrained. But if the listener is anywhere near being a ‘charming man’, they will have the nous to disregard these technical flaws and marvel in awe at the forms beneath.

From the simpering beauty of the album’s Delaney-inspired opener ‘Reel Around the Fountain’, to Morrissey’s mournful closing elegy to the victims of the Moors Murders ‘Suffer Little Children’, the album has few weaknesses.

I have spent hundreds of hours listening to Morrissey’s drawling warble as I writhe on the floor in a spasm of teenage angst. Thus, I can vouch for the power of the album and can stamp it with the teenage-gloomy-listener seal of approval. 

You need not believe my own reactions in order to understand the album’s magnetic effect on listeners: it has provided consistent inspiration for The Smiths’ successors. Locally, it enthralled the Gallagher brothers, prompting them to produce their own brand of lyrical whining with Morrissey’s lyrics in mind. Bridging both time and distance, Arcade Fire’s admiration is flaunted in their cover of Smiths crowd-pleaser ‘Still Ill’.

The produce of a couple of local lads creating a racket in their bedrooms continues to charm. But why is this so? Morrissey and Marr’s style is the perfect mixture of creation and reinvention, poetically engraving the kitchen-sink drama of working class life onto the grooves of vinyl. T.S. Eliot (that well-known listener of The Smiths) remarked that a good poet makes the mundane “into something better”. What Morrissey and Marr achieved was to encapsulate familiar, normative life and transform it into something more appealing.

‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’ is not entirely a realist self-indulgent mope – it is laced with a carry-on sense of humour. Arguably, it is the diversity of emotions that the album inspires that allows continued pleasure and interest.

Whatever the reason for the continued success of The Smiths, it carries an admirable legacy for an album whose final cut Morrissey said “wasn’t good enough”. Morrissey and Marr’s love-child may have aged thirty years, but its sound continues to inspire as it did upon its first release.

Click here for a review of Morrissey’s latest album.

Review: Morrissey — World Peace is None of Your Business

Four Stars
★★★★☆

After a relatively silent five years for one of music’s most outspoken divas, Morrissey has once again graced the musical world with his warbling tones.

For fans of Morrissey, the scene of his new album is one of familiarity. The immensely successful You Are The Quarry (2004) required a gestation period of ten years. The question is, has Moz’s break provided him with suitable breathing space? Or are the new songs of World Peace Is None Of Your Business merely the burnt remnants of the ageing ex-frontman?

It’s certain that “the passing of time”, to quote his earlier work in The Smiths, has not altered Morrissey’s topics of choice. Topical politics, dead icons, vegetarianism and mild racism are all fused together in just over 54 minutes. The album’s title track makes clear Morrissey’s sarcastic attack on government has not been cooled. Rather, it has been heated further. 

For me, the title track is somewhat cringe-worthy. Morrissey regurgitates the same-old ‘edgy’ critique on democracy, complete with a repeated cliché – “Each time you vote you support the process.”

Yet the next track, ‘Neal Cassidy Drops Dead’, is the perfect mix of humour and sorrow. The song narrates the reaction of Allen Ginsberg to the death of the beat-poet Neal Cassidy, whose “tears shampoo his beard”. At first listen, I couldn’t help chuckle at the comical rendering of the poet as a growling hairdresser. Yet, the image of tears as a beauty product is a thought-provoking image.

The album as a whole is a mixed bag. ‘Kiss Me A Lot’ isn’t awful, but neither is it particularly memorable. And album-closer ‘Oboe Concerto’ is so annoyingly self-indulgent you just want to skip the track entirely.

However, ‘Staircase At The University’ is a song with which all students can sympathise. A light-hearted tune, it humorously details the trials and the tribulations of a student struggling “to get three A’s”. Here, the Morrissey of old returns triumphal in the same strain of lyrics that ensured his Smiths-era fame, complete with joyous sing-along clapping.

And as for the penultimate track ‘Mountjoy’, the combination of lyrics about 19th century squalor laid over acoustic guitar is surprisingly relaxing. Here, the dulcet tones of Morrissey’s voice are allowed to really shine.

In short, Morrissey’s lyrics and his band’s music continue to be successful, despite the long  absence. Listen to it a few times and I’m sure you’ll all be humming and clapping along to such cheering lines as, “If it breaks your legs then don’t come running to me.” I know I am.

Review: Laurence Clark: Moments of Instant Regret

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We all have our inner demons. Or, in Laurence Clark’s case, just the one: a foul-mouthed cartoon monkey called Chip. Chip is projected onto the screen behind him during the show and springs to life to recreate moments when the angry, sweary or just downright obnoxious simian that lurks in us all takes over, advising Laurence (“like an evil Yoda”) to respond to ignorance and incompetence with aggression. Aggression such as, for example, heckling fellow comic Richard Herring with the age-old criticism ‘cunt!’, reducing a waiter to a sobbing wreck, biting a policeman… That sort of thing.

Why Chip? Not, as is pointed out, because he stands for the proverbial chip-on-the-shoulder, the nagging sense of inferiority that makes us all do stupid, self-assertive things from time to time. “He’s called Chip because I like chips,” Laurence says, by way of introduction. “His full name is Chip Lasagne Blowjob.”

But heaven knows Laurence has enough to be chippy about. He’s from Manchester. Married, possibly just for the purposes of our Liverpool venue and audience, to a scouser. Oh, and he has cerebral palsy which confines him to a wheelchair. The kind which prompts a flight-attendant, noting his slurred speech and erratic gestures, to reply “I think you’ve had enough already, sir,” when Laurence asks for his first beer of the journey.

As the act progresses, it becomes clear what Chip is really: he is the arch-nemesis of niceness. The scenarios discussed show the difficulties in knowing how to react in the face of faintly ignorant, patronising behaviour when the perpetrator is actually acting with the best of intentions. You know where you are with nastiness  – good, honest nastiness that doesn’t require a nuanced response of tolerance and tact. To demonstrate, Laurence asks us at the start to say so if we can’t understand what he’s on about and he’ll happily repeat himself. And when he deliberately descends into unintelligible mumbling, do any of us say a word? No – we sit in appalled silence, wondering what’s gone wrong, and are called to account for our kind dishonesty.

I’d be surprised if the entire audience caught every word, but it was less an unwillingness to risk embarrassment than a desire to not disturb the clever, coherent constructions of his comic sequences and to keep their non-stop delight rattling along. After all, aside from its sheer insightfulness, the show is a marvel of creative performance: tables are constantly and thought-provokingly turned on our perception of disability through videos, photos, animation, text and the spoken word. It’s this clever and artfully handled combination of media which Clark excels at, along with more traditional stand-up techniques – the ridiculously satisfying bit of ring-composition which returns us to Richard Herring makes me suppress a snort of laughter just thinking about it.

But don’t say: oh, he’s so brave. So inspirational. Don’t even say: this is a show which everyone should see to expand their empathy and appreciation of the capacities of the human spirit, no matter how true you think that may be. You’ll have missed the point of Moments of Instant Regret if you even remotely exaggerate Laurence’s brilliance on account of his cerebral palsy. Just take it for the dazzling and riotous performance of anger, wisdom and humour that it undoubtedly is.

By-election to be held for Carfax City Council seat

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A by-election to replace a vacant seat on Oxford City Council in Carfax ward has been scheduled for Thursday 4 September 2014. The ward, of which approximately 70% of its residents are students, was previously represented by Labour city councillor Anne-Marie Canning, who announced her resignation from the seat last week citing personal reasons.

Each ward has two representatives on Oxford City Council, with half of the 48 seats in the City Council coming up for election every two years, meaning that councillors are elected on an alternate basis. Canning filled one of two council seats representing Carfax Ward on Oxford City Council, with the other being held by Green councillor Ruthi Brandt, who was elected in the May 2014 city elections.

Oxford City Council is currently Labour controlled, with the Labour group possessing 33 of the 48 seats. The other seats on the Council are held by the Liberal Democrats, who have eight seats, the Greens, who have six seats, and an independent councillor.

The by-election was triggered after a request for an election to fill the vacancy was submitted to Oxford City Council Returning Officer Jeremy Thomas by two local government electors from Carfax. Following the request an election to fill the vacant seat was required within 35 days, in accordance with the Local Government Act 1972.

The ward contains a large proportion of Oxford’s retail centre, as well as many Oxford colleges and Oxford University buildings. The 2011 Census found that Carfax had a total population of 6,361 people of which 4,236 were students living in communal establishments. Overall, the census found that 70% of the residents of Carfax ward were full time students.  

However, the Oxford University term does not begin until Sunday, 12 October, meaning that many students will not be in Oxford when the by-election takes place on 4 September. 

The by-election follows the resignation of Labour Councillor Anne-Marie Canning, which created a vacancy in the ward. Canning told the Oxford Mail that the reason for her resignation was that her job as a head of department at a London university was becoming increasingly demanding. Canning was first elected to Oxford City Council in 2012, taking the seat for Labour from the Liberal Democrats. In that election Canning won the seat by a margin of 53 votes, with 288 votes, while the Green Party’s Adam Ramsay came second with 235 votes.

Canning is the third Labour city councillor to announce her intention to stand down from the City Council in the past two months.

In the May 2014 Oxford City Council election, for the other City Council seat in Carfax ward, Ruthi Brandt of the Green Party replaced incumbent Liberal Democrat councillor Tony Brett. Brandt won the ward by only 35 votes, receiving a total of 483 votes, while Labour Party candidate and former council leader Alex Hollingsworth came in second place with 448 votes.

The Deputy Leader of Oxford City Council Ed Turner said, “It is sad that Anne-Marie has had to resign, as she’s done a fantastic job, especially in campaigning on cuts to homeless services.  It would be completely unacceptable to leave students without a second ward councillor, especially at the crucial start of term period, and delaying the by-election would serve no useful purpose as the electoral register would be massively out of date until March.  It would include last year’s finalists who no longer live in Oxford, but exclude first years.  I would encourage any students keen to participate to apply for a postal vote.”

One student commented, “Students don’t often get to have their voice heard and often suffer as a result, so at opportunities like this – when 70% of the ward is made up of students – it’s really important that our voice is heard so that our needs can be met.”

Applications for postal votes, for the by-election, must reach the Electoral Registration Officer at Oxford Town Hall by 5pm on Tuesday 19 August 2014.

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St. Cross extension gets green light

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St. Cross College has successfully appealed Oxford City Council’s decision to reject the College’s planning application for a new extension. Work on the West Quad – designed to add 50 new bedrooms, three seminar rooms and a lecture theatre – will begin in the near future. 

Sir Mark Jones, Master of St. Cross, revealed, “I am absolutely delighted to hear we now have planning permission for the West Quad.” He added, “We can look forward to completing our 2015 50th Anniversary Campaign for the West Quad, and starting the build. This is wonderful news for St Cross.”

The planning application had earlier been rejected by Oxford City Council amidst objections from local residents. Concerns were voiced over the possible effects building might have on the surrounding area. 

The Oxford Civic Society has also previously registered its discontent at the proposals. The Society exists to, amongst other things, preserve Oxford’s heritage.

It is also believed that some Oxford academics have made objections to the building proposals in the past.

Wybo Wiersma, a current member of the College, told Cherwell he believed the changes would improve college life, but “when the design was chosen there were 3 short-listed contestants, and any of the other two would have fitted in their surroundings much better”.

He added, “the design as such probably has it’s aesthetic merits, but not here, not in the historic surroundings of central Oxford. They could just as well have built a London sky-scraper inside Magdalen main quad.”

Others contributed in a similar vein. Chairman of Oxford’s Victorian Society Peter Howell stated when the plans were first made public that “We object to the proposal to erect a new building on Pusey Street. St Cross College shares the site with Pusey House, which is a building of the highest architectural merit.”

One student told Cherwell, “I can see people’s concerns, but I suppose you’re not really a real Oxford college until you’ve got an ugly modern part of college that you’re ashamed for everyone else to see.”

Review: Utopia

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★★★★★
Five Stars

I must admit, Im not the biggest fan of British TV drama. We make very good literary adaptations, detective series and dress-porn, but we have very little to rival the heavyweight American trinity of The Sopranos, The Wire and Mad Men. A lot of this is not really anybodys fault. Britain will never be able to compete with America budget-wise and series run for only six episodes, giving less space for story development and magnifying imperfections. The need to keep the taxpayer (who partially subsidises not only the BBC but also Channel 4) happy probably also serves to limit the sense of creative freedom — a problem American cable series dont face.

This makes the achievement of the series Im reviewing all the more impressive. A series clearly driven on every level by a strong creative vision that knows exactly how to utilise its medium — a shining beacon of what can be achieved in British TV called, appropriately enough, Utopia. A blend of, among other things, conspiracy thriller, David Lynch movie and moral thought experiment; it manages to seem original and unique in style and content while remaining rigorously well thought out and put together. In fact it’s so good that HBO now want to make an American remake with David Fincher at the helm.

But what exactly is Utopia? Let me give you a brief synopsis — the series’motivating tensions are very real problems that overpopulation will wreak upon our planet and civilisation in the relatively near future. The series conceit is that in the 70s a scientist manufactured a protein which when injected, say as a fake vaccine, would make people completely infertile, bar a random 7 to 8% of the population who would be immune. The scientist later went mad, hiding away all information on how to manufacture the protein and scrawling cryptic drawings related to his experiments, which were later collected in a shady underground comic book. The first series revolved around the protagonists, ordinary, racially-diverse, awkwardly-British people brought together by their interest in the comic book, becoming embroiled in the machinations of the sinister Networkwhich aimed to discover the make up of the protein so it could release it in the fake Russian flu vaccine.

The current series kicked off with a flashback episode (shot on cool 70s era 4:3 celluloid) focusing on the scientist, Philip Carvel. This sounds, of course, a lot like somebodys conspiracy theory — and the jump into pulpy fantasy may come off as unsophisticated to some people — but it allows the creation of an incredibly engaging series that takes you to places unimaginable in a realist narrative. That the villainsin the story really do have a point elevates the moral complexity of the series, injecting difficult questions into what could easily have been a simplistic thrill-ride. If the Networks methods — a host of bizarre Lynchian assassins, including chocolate-raisin loving, dentists-gas wielding psychopath Arby (Neil Maskell) — are uncondonable, its clear they have a point. In fact, by the current series, one of the protagonists, the bizarrely named Wilson Wilson (Adeel Akhtar), has defected to their side- despite having been tortured (with a spoon) at their hands.

Speaking of which the series has drawn a fair amount of criticism for its eye-watering levels of violence. This will, Im sure, be a turnoff for many. For what its worth, the world depicted is so surreal and the violence so stylised, it never feels aversive — at least not to my post-modern, desensitised sensibilities. Theres something deliciously subversive feeling about watching such a high quality series that does not seem to care about being deemed unacceptable by any established arbiters of culture; it’s hard to imagine the forty-something attendees of a stereotypical Islington dinner party waxing lyrical about Utopia the way they would Mad Men.

In this, and many other ways, the series seems closer to graphic novels like Watchmen than any TV series. It shares with Watchmen the ‘rag-tag group of misfits drawn into conflict with shadowy organisation who actually, hang on, maybe have a point after all’ plot and a love of a specific colour I’m going to call ‘Selfridges Yellow’ (which appears everywhere from the title screen to a bag Arby carries around everywhere). Indeed, Utopia feels closer to the feel of that graphic novel than the 2009 film adaptation ever did.

But its also a series which plots its own path. Despite all the dark themes and disturbing goings-on, the series still manages to be very funny, always prepared to point out the absurdity of whats going on or allow for some classic awkward-British-people comedy. Becky (Alexandra Roach) and Ian (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) are normal, not very well coordinated people caught up in a mind bending and absurd conspiracy, and the actors mine this seam for all its comedic potential. Its to their credit (as well as, Dennis Kelly — series creator and writer) that they always convincingly act as a normal person would in their situation, never falling into the po-faced heroics often found in American fantasy series like Heroes or Lost.

If this werent achievement enough, each character also elicits a lot of pathos from the viewer. You are acutely aware of the emotional consequences of the series events, and these are tactfully depicted, never becoming melodramatic. Particularly affecting is Fiona O’Shaughnessy’s portrayal of Jessica Hyde, the slightly Aspergers daughter of Philip Cavell and a woman whose entire life has been spent on the run from the network. Beginning this series in the Networks maximum-security prison complex, where they are trying to extract Cavells secrets from her by any means necessary, she brings to the role a sense of the tragic emptiness of a life lived outside the norms of society.

On almost every level, Utopia is an exquisitely crafted and engaging piece of drama. Its the shining example of what can be achieved in British TV, and raises the bar for future productions.

Seven sporting disasters

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Unless you have been living in a cave you probably heard about that World Cup Semi-Final, you know the one – the most catastrophic World Cup defeat in the history of the competition. Brazil (5 times world champions) were trounced 7-1 in Belo Horizonte by a German team described by leading world experts (aka the BBC’s Match of the Day team) as “a ruthless well oiled machine”. Some described it as a “national humiliation”, others an “unfortunate game of football”. Within seconds of the game ending there were memes, tweets and posts mocking what had been a disaster for Brazilian football. Reports of Christ the Redeemer shaking his fists in rage were unconfirmed.

So that got Cherwell Sport to thinking; was this really the most embarrassing sporting defeat ever? Or have there been worse disasters? In our infinite wisdom, through meticulous research and debate, we have compiled a list of some of the most embarrassing sporting shocks.

1. Lindsey Jacobellis, Winter Olympics 2006.

The name may not be familiar. The incident probably is. Lindsey was cruising the final of the snowboard cross at the 2006 Turin Winter Olympics, with a 3 second, 47 meter lead over her opponent. The US competitor, in approaching the second jump decided to indulge in a bit of showboating. Attempting a celebratory “method grab” Lindsey managed to unbalance herself and fall, letting her opponent pass her, which meant she had to settle for a silver medal. Embarrassing? Yes. A national humiliation? You decide.

2. Rafael Nadal v Lukas Rosol/ Steve Darcis, Wimbledon 2012 & 2013

Tennis stars frequently lose. With 4 grand slams, a WTP championships and sometimes a bonus Olympic Games to play for, it is truly rare to find someone who wins everything each year. But nobody seems to know how to slip up quite as well as Rafael Nadal. In 2012, Nadal lost to someone who had not advanced beyond the first qualifying round of Wimbledon in 5 years. Lukas Rosol, ranked 100 in the world, dispatched the 14 time grand slam champion in a five set thriller. Reports that tendinitis had affected Nadal’s performance were unconfirmed (although the injury did make him pull out of the London Olympics later that summer). One year later he repeated the feat by losing in the 2013 version of Wimbledon to No 135 Steve Darcis, but this time in straight sets.  

3. England v Australia, 2013-14 Ashes series  

2013-14 was an odd time for English cricket. Managing to become the number one test team in the world in 2011 and having beaten Australia in the summer of 2013 3-0 at home, everyone was looking forward to another classic winter series. The Aussies had failed to win the ashes since 2007. What followed was not ideal. England lost the series 5-0, only the third Ashes clean sweep in history. The aftermath of the series saw a revamp of the England team – Swann retired, Pietersen was forced out- and now England have dropped to 5th in the world test rankings.

4. Garry Kasparov v Deep Blue, 1997

For those of you who are frightened of a post-apocalyptic society run by robots – this must have seemed like a bit of a watershed moment. Garry Kasparov was the world champion of chess, Deep Blue a supercomputer designed by boffins at IBM. A first game was played in Philedelphia in 1996 which Kasperov won 4-2. In a rematch the next year the computer won 3.5-2.5 although the game was tainted by Kasperov’s claim that the computer cheated. To the amazement of all Kasperov, considered the greatest chess player of all time, had lost to a machine.

5. Man City 6 v 1 Man Utd

If the World Cup has taught us anything, it is that we like to laugh at successful teams losing. Luckily for them, Brazil can take solace in the fact that this has happened before. Take the Premier League’s 2011 match between Man United and Man City. Nothing could have symbolised the rise of City over their historically successful rivals than a 6-1 thrashing at Old Trafford which signalled the beginning of the end of the Fergie era. Other Football shocks include the 2004 European Championships where a little known country called Greece managed to beat Portugal in their own tournament 1-0 to win the final- causing a 140-1 shock that will hopefully be repeated by England at the next tournament. Brazil have also been there before. In 1950, before Brazil had won a tournament, they lost 2-1 in the final to Uruguay in Rio, where only a draw would have seen them win the world cup.

6. Germany v Austria, 1982 World Cup

National humiliations come in all shapes and sizes. This one was embarrassing from an ethical perspective. Algeria had been the surprise of the tournament, beating Germany in the first game, and earning 6 points. They had beaten Chile earlier in the day. A win by one or two goals from Germany would see both them and Austria through. What followed was a national disgrace. Amid strong accusations of collusion- after Germany scored 1 goal within ten minutes neither side made any attempt to try to play football and instead opted for a boring version of keep ball for 80 minutes. Algerian fans were rightly outraged, throwing money onto the pitch. This year when they got their chance for revenge in the World Cup’s second round against the Germans. Algeria lost 2-1, but only after a heroic display that took them into extra time.    

7. USSR v USA, 1972 Olympic basketball, and 1980 Olympic ice hockey

There is nothing more embarrassing than when you lose to your superpower rival in the middle of a geo-political superpower conflict. The US had never lost an Olympic basketball game, the USSR were not really that well known for basketball. So when, during the 1972 Munich Summer Olympics the USSR won a last minute 81-80 victory, amid accusations of foul-play, there was national embarrassment aplenty. Fast-forward 8 year to New York- the cold war took another turn- this time in favour of the US. The “Miracle on Ice” (dubbed by the US media) saw a US team made up of amateur and collegiate players, defeat the USSR who had won 6 out of the last 7 winter Olympic ice hockey events. Both sides tried to take as much political capital as they could out of their respective victories.

Dawkins rape comments condemned

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Oxford feminists have attacked tweets made by Richard Dawkins, in which he said that “stranger rape at knifepoint” was worse than “date rape”. He later tweeted similar comments comparing “mild date rape” and “violent date rape”.

He had earlier made tweets comparing the relative immorality of “mild paedophilia” and “violent pedophilia”.

Dawkins, a fellow of New College, and an internationally-renowned proponent of atheism, claimed to be attempting to illustrate a logical point on morality; namely, that by saying an action is worse than another, one does not automatically advocate the alternative action.

Oxford student and feminist campaigner Alice Nutting told Cherwell, “Dawkins’ tweets reveal his failure to grasp the severity of sexual violence. His abstract comparisons of ‘mild date rape’ to ‘violent date rape’ and ‘date rape’ to ‘stranger rape at knifepoint’ perpetuate myths about some forms of rape being worse than others.”

She continued, “The fact that he was making logical syllogisms does not absolve him of responsibility to approach these issues sensibly and sensitively; it was grossly insensitive and his refusal to recognise that is worrying.”

Likewise, former Wadham Students’ Union President Anya Metzer commented, “Dawkins’ decision to illustrate a point of logic with flippant and unnecessary references to ‘mild’ and ‘violent’ rape suggests he has more interest in garnering notoriety than teaching a lesson in argumentation. The idea of ranking forms of rape and the arbitrary and sweeping manner in which this was conducted belie a mind devoted for decades to scientific rigour.

“The deeply unsettling and provocative nature of his comments were clearly designed to bait the twitter audience and thus excite some attention around his frankly pedestrian point. It is greatly disheartening to see public figures and indeed scholars of our university contribute to the glib and insensitive treatment of rape found so commonly in the media.” 

Following widespread online criticism of his comments, Richard Dawkins has defended the tweets. Writing on his website, he said, “Actually, it’s rather plausible that some people might find date rape worse than being raped by a stranger – let’s leave the ‘at knifepoint’ out of it. Think of the disillusionment, the betrayal of trust in someone you thought was a friend. 

“But my logical point remains unchanged. It applies to any hypothetical X and Y, which could be reversed. Thus: ‘Being raped by a stranger is bad. Being raped by a formerly trusted friend is worse.’ If you think that hypothetical quotation is an endorsement of rape by strangers, go away and learn how to think.”

He added, “I wasn’t even saying it is right to rank one kind of rape as worse than another (that caused an immense amount of agony and a scarcely creditable level of vitriolic abuse in the Twittosphere). You may be one of those who thinks all forms of rape are equally bad, and should  not, in principle be ranked at all, ever.

“In that case my logical point won’t be relevant to you and you don’t need to take offence – although you might have trouble being a judge who is expected to give heavier sentences for worse versions of the same crime. All I was saying is that if you are one of those who is prepared to say that one kind of rape is worse than another (whichever particular kinds those might be), this doesn’t imply that you approve of the less bad one. It is still bad. Just not as bad.”