Saturday 12th July 2025
Blog Page 1331

Who do you dress for?

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Who do you dress for? A conversation with a few of my friends the other day led me to ask this question to myself. Some of the group were of the opinion that anyone who takes care in the way they dress is dressing for attention. This is not to say that, for example, we dress to attract a potential mate. We may be dressing for the attention and approval of other fashion-conscious individuals. I was adamant through the whole conversation that I didn’t dress for the attention of anyone else. The thought of picking my outfit motivates me to get up in the morning. I shop to unwind and relax. I get genuine joy out of finding a really special piece. So, I must dress for myself.

But then I took a moment to analyse the reasons why I enjoyed getting ready. Did everything not lead back to how I wanted to be perceived by others? I dress based on the day I’m about to have, and so inevitably, for the people I’m about to interact with. I dress so that my day has a certain tone, presumably this does include the response I get from others. Maybe I’m over-analysing. It is possible to just enjoy the aesthetic of a certain look, and to have fun picking out clothes and accessories to match that. But walking through town, I see different students with so many distinct styles. At Oxford, most of us have one thing in common. We all have pretty strong ideas about who we are, what we’re about and what we want. The way we dress is one way of showing that.

There is no such thing as a “lack of a dress sense”. Even the person who insists they have absolutely no interest in clothes, and will wear whatever, is expressing themselves through their clothing choice. We all use what we wear to portray ourselves in a certain way. The problem arises when others make decisions about how we may portray ourselves; when they think it means that we expect to be treated a certain way.

“SlutWalks”, where women protest the idea that by wearing revealing clothing, women are somehow ‘asking’ for unwanted attention, are happening around the world to raise awareness of this issue. The “still not asking for it” photo that’s been circulating around social media attempts to challenge the sense of entitlement that can arise simply by the way someone is dressed. It’s a huge waste of our time to criticise those who dress for others and it’s completely futile to deny that we don’t. We all do it on one level or another. Instead, we are far better off investing our energy in highlighting how wrong it is to make assumptions about others, and put them in a certain box based on how they are dressed.

Suit and Tie: Summer Trends

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Summer Trends

Floral, monochrome and camouflage will remain in vogue over the coming months and they ought to form your statement looks.

Monochrome
No-one can mess up black and white, but it does look plain. The best way to get that much-needed flair is through some form of pattern – an unbuttoned checked shirt under a black blazer; a monochrome floral works well too, as would a striped jumper. This colour block jumper (Topman, £26) would be a brilliant buy. Monochrome works as well as a base, so don’t fear a bold pop of colour – a light cotton scarf could easily spruce up a simple outfit in the evenings, with minimal effort.

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Topman, £26

Florals
On trend all year, but with a much darker, edgier tone than we would expect from traditional floral prints. You can go loud and colourful or settle for a subdued approach, but focus on the boldness of a dense floral pattern. This floral print shirt (Zara, £29.99) would look great paired with some stone chinos or shorts.

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Zara, £29.99

Camouflage
Camouflage is difficult to wear well as it can come over very easily as too brash. The best camo item you can go for is either an accessory or something above the waist – no camo trousers! This Villain tee (Topman, £36) works well on both fronts offering cooler greys and greens, without being offensive on the eye. Pair with grey or blue shorts, or black skinny jeans, and you’re ready to go.

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Topman, £30

Feminism in Fashion

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Fashion has often been labelled the antithesis of gender equality. Increasingly, women are attacking each other for approaching feminism the ‘wrong’ way: for wanting to be a stay-at-home mother, for being too vocal or not vocal enough about gender issues, and, indeed, for how they look and dress. But is there only one fit of feminism?

Pehaps it’s more important how we think of ourselves and behave towards each other. Recently, an author wrote that she used to be made to think she wasn’t a real feminist because she liked frivolous things like lipsticks and heels. Gloria Steinem, labelled ‘the original’ feminist for redefining feminism to include men, was criticised for “playing on her looks”. Meanwhile, Michelle Obama, who has been a tireless advocate of women’s rights, has been accused of being a “feminist nightmare”. But the idea that being fashionable and sexy is incompatible with being a feminist is wrong. Feminism should not be about judgement and competition, but about maximising women’s choices and their freedom to pursue these choices.

Model Karen Elson, as a proud feminist herself, warns that, “If you assume that models […] can’t have strong opinions and beliefs, you’re just falling prey to the popularly held misogynist view that beautiful women are stupid.” More than that, clothes have long had power to facilitate and accompany change. We need only to look at the suffragette movement, the famous flapper dresses and miniskirts that shocked the social order when they first came out, and the more recent Pussy Riot, who used their clothing as a way to send their message out, loud and clear.

Liking fashion does not have to mean ignoring the problems that the industry poses for the feminist cause, through their promotion of a specific body shape (read: super skinny) or the fact that the whole industry exists to tell us how women should dress, while we are perfectly capable of making this choice ourselves.

Feminism and fashion are actually becoming increasingly interlinked. Frida Kahlo, the feminist Mexican artist, is the inspiration behind various SS’14 collections: richly embroidered gowns at Valentino and Dolce & Gabbana, tassels at Dries Van Noten and Oscar de la Renta, as well as a swathe of high street stores. We should move away from criticising lifestyles when gender inequality affects actual lives.

Laura Bates, founder of the Everyday Sexism Project, commented that we are “facing a worldwide crisis of violence against women,” in reaction to the killing spree by Elliott Rodgers in California last month. Many women die every day, around the world, because of FGM, because of imposed social barriers, because of domestic violence – stepping back, we can see how an interest in fashion is not an issue that should be prioritised in the feminist agenda.

Union President will not be charged

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Police and the Crown Prosecution Service will be taking no further action in relation to the accusations of rape and attempted rape made against Oxford Union President Ben Sullivan. This means that Sullivan will not be charged.

Sullivan was arrested on May 7th in relation to allegations made by two undergraduate students, and was bailed without charge until today, 18th June.

A Thames Valley Police spokesperson said, “No further action was taken against the 21-year-old man from Oxford arrested on suspicion of rape and attempted rape.”

A spokesperson for the CPS stated, “Following an investigation by Thames Valley Police, we have decided that there is insufficient evidence to prosecute a 21-year-old man from Oxford who was arrested following a complaint of rape and a complaint of attempted rape made by two women. We will be writing to the complainants to explain our decision in more detail.”

The Union released a statement on Wednesday commenting, “The Union can confirm that the President, Ben Sullivan, was informed by his lawyers at 1550 today that Thames Valley Police would not be pursuing any further action against him.

As far as the Society is concerned, this is the end of the matter. We would like to thank Mr. Sullivan for his work as President under the most difficult of circumstances and wish him well for the future.”

Sullivan has remained in his position as President despite calls for his resignation and avoided facing a vote of No Confidence after members in the chamber voted to not vote on the motion by a margin of 254-101.

 

 

 

Cherwell Festival Guide II- Reading and Leeds

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Reading and Leeds aspire to a swagger they have never quite achieved. Whilst Glastonbury increasingly comes across like a once-hip uncle desperately trying to stay relevant, Reading/Leeds have all the rock-and-roll attitude of a 17-year-old rebel  trying to pick up girls in his mum’s Vauxhall Corsa without getting hair-gel on her seat covers. Catering neither to the heavy rock market, the mainstream pop-rock market, the experimental rock market, Reading/Leeds always feel faintly pointless.

Location ★★☆☆☆

As the name suggests, these festivals are held in Reading and Leeds, which is a shame. At least they’re both quite convenient on the motorway.

Headliners ★★☆☆☆

The Arctic Monkeys are still OK, probably, but in your heart of hearts you’ll know that seeing them now will never compare to seeing them around the time that Favourite Worst Nightmare came out. Quite why anyone bothers booking the execrable Blink-182 in 2014 is a complete mystery, but the ever-reliable Queens of the Stone Age will ensure that the Friday night, at least, is alive with their timeless riff-lead racket. Macklemore is playing too, but never mind.

Mid-card ★☆☆☆☆

Pusha T’s sparse raps about coke and death are remorseless and brilliant. We Are Scientists are presumablyproducing the same irreverent post-punk racket they were in 2007, the last time anyone checked. And there’s always a chance that Jake Bugg might be struck by lightning before August. But these are the only real highlights. Acts like Paramore and Enter Shikari rely on the devoted support of an ever-dwindling fanbase, and have little to offer that isn’t overwrought and passé. The likes of Courteeners and Warpaint do not even have the benefit of screaming 15-year-old fangirls to mask the sound of their wallpaper rock music. As increasingly seems to happen at rock festivals, the festival organisers have turned to dance music in a half-hearted attempt to stay relevant, to but to no avail. From the pointless unpleasantness of Borgore to the turgid deep house of Ben Pearce, there is nothing on offer here not available in far more abundance elsewhere.

Hidden gems  ★★☆☆☆

As always there are one or two highlights at the bottom of the pile. These include Gesaffelstein playing murkily abrasive techno, the endlessly inventive noise-pop of The Pains Of Being Pure at Heart, and the uncompromising grime assault of Newham Generals. Unfortunately they are drowned by a pile of slush, from the mopey garage-rock of Drenge to the whiney metalcore of Crossfaith (imagine being in a band that not only aspired to sound like Slipknot, but also failed to do so). One of these two stars is earned by La Dispute, the post-hardcore experimentalists who make screamo with far more intellect, nous and technical ingenuity than half the rest of the bill put together.

USPs ★☆☆☆☆

When a festival proudly announces as a WORLD EXCLUSIVE that My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way is performing his first ever solo show, it’s time to slowly back towards the exit without making any sudden movements.

Should I go? ★★☆☆☆

It could be worse: they’re not T4 on the Beach by any stretch of the imagination. Osfest, the leading music festival in my home county of Shropshire, was last year headlined by JLS, James Arthur, The Enemy and The Pigeon Detectives. At Reading/Leeds, there are a few of decent acts buried amongst the crap. But it hardly seems worth the effort of rooting through reams of clapped-out guitar bands to unearth these nuggets, especially when you’ll be surrounded by 16-year-old knobheads who remind you all too uncomfortably of your slightly younger self.

Cherwell Festival Guide I – Bestival

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Bestival is the late-summer festival on the Isle of Wight with a vaguely hippy leaning, tempered by a light smattering of yummy mummies. Fancy dress is theoretically optional, but in practice this year’s ‘Desert Island Disco’ theme will be enforced with military rigour. Rob Da Bank oversees an eclectic weekend of music in a gorgeous setting, striking a near-perfect balance between DJs and live acts.

Location ★★★★☆

The Isle of Wight is a complete pain in the arse to get to. But once you’re there, it’s almost as painful to leave. As sunsoaked as you can get in September without having to learn the Spanish for “I think Jessie Ware just did a wee in my sangria”.

Headliners ★★★☆☆

Hip-hop fans whose senses are not wholly stupefied by G-Funk rhythms and a surfeit of marijuana will surely all agree that Bestival have gone one up on last year’s Snoop Dogg set by securing Outkast. Andre 3000 and Big Boi purvey a brand of southern-fried, jazz-inflected hip-hop which is mesmerisingly complex. The same cannot be said for the instantly forgettable Chase and Status. Chic and Nile Rodgers aspire to nothing more exciting than Chase and Status do, but where the drum and bass duo’s repertoire grows stale in about 30 seconds, the disco stalwarts still sound as fresh as they did in 1978.

Mid-card ★★★★★

Absolutely stacked. Last year’s album of Daft Punk reworks from Darkside mean that Nicholas Jaar’s darkly funky side project is as close as you’ll get to seeing the helmeted electro duo on British soil this summer. It’s always worth checking in on Skream’s evolution from dubstep poster-boy to mad disco scientist, as it is on the tuneful electro-jazz sketches of Bonobo: both are sure-fire festival highlights. The same can be said of Sven Vath, renowned for drawing mammoth 30-hour sets of gorgeous ambient techno from the battered confines of his SL-1200 turntables. Major Lazer, making their solitary UK festival appearance,are everything Chase and Status want to be but aren’t, while Busta Rhymes is utterly daft but utterly brilliant.

Hidden gems ★★★★☆

Elijah and Skilliam’s blog/record label/club night ‘Butterz’ catalysed the recent explosion in instrumental grime, producing endless reams of bass music that is uncompromising but never unthinking. (Don’t be surprised to hear unannounced live PAs from JME and Skepta, also appearing under their own steam alongside Logan Sama.) tUnE-yArDs knock up drum-loops on the spot that lesser indietronica acts can only dream of in the studio, while Public Service Broadcasting do something similar but more exploratory, adding a fantastically eclectic palette of vocal samples to the mix. The scratch genius DJ Yoda includes visuals to his own even weirder cut-and-stick array, and the glossy electro clattering of Sinjin Hawke is just as full of surprises.  Black Country rockers God Damn snort derisively at all of this, and play their guitars really really loud, pitching themselves somewhere between Black Sabbath and At The Drive-In.

USPs ★★★☆☆

The bonus features at Bestival are by no means limited to ‘Breastival’, a yurt solely dedicated to breast-feeding mothers. Sink The Pink is the most outrageously camp piss-up you’ll find anywhere on the festival circuit this year, with the obvious exception of the feather-boa-clad Scottee who will be overseeing a palace full of cabaret and weirdness. There is always a risk inherent in booking Shit-Faced Shakespeare, who perform the bard’s oeuvre in the desperately inebriated condition their name suggests, but if they keep it together then they could be the funniest thing on the bill- apart, perhaps, from the surreal slapstick stylings of comedy duo Twisted Loaf.

Should I go? ★★★★★

Yep. There are better headline options, but festivals are never defined by the names at the top of the card. Under Rob Da Bank’s curation, Bestival has consistently produced lineups stuffed with next year’s breakout acts and the headliners of 2020, and this year looks to be no exception. Perhaps most importantly, Bestival manages to maintain an alternative atmosphere and cater to niche musical tastes without veering into the cringey posturing that increasingly typifies hippy wankathons like Latitude or End of the Road. Great music with nice people in a beautiful place.

Interview: Plum Sykes

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She was wearing lilac trousers and she told me I looked lovely; I knew early on that I would like Plum Sykes. Mother, owner of a sheep farm, Oxford alumnus, muse and friend of Alexander McQueen, Contributing Editor to American Vogue and author of two (soon to be three) novels; is there anything this woman can’t do?

Coming from a private school education to a degree in History at Worcester during the growth of the rave culture of the late 80s, where swathes of “posh public school boys were suddenly let loose to wear neon t-shirts, yah man”, proved something of a culture shock. After graduating, she realised that the law career she thought she would go into “because that’s what everyone else was doing” wasn’t her style and instead she made the transition to fashion writing. With her twin a stylist, her mother a fashion designer and her grandfather an author and biographer, she thinks that you could say the the Vogue link was “kind of obvious”.

A questionable, yet auspicious start saw her as Chief Filer & Organiser at British Vogue, working for the likes of Issie Blow and Lisa Armstrong. This led to impromptu introductions to the young Bella Freud and Alexander McQueen.

Even once she had the chance to write something of her own, a very English lack of self-confidence still proved an issue and she feared editors simply dismissing her work as rubbish. Mind you, being offered a position as a fashion writer for US Vogue by none other than Anna Wintour herself does something for the self-confidence. No longer in charge of organising someone else’s life, she set herself to the task of her monthly column: “an email conversation between an up-town Park Avenue Princess and a down-town cool girl” – the characters which would later form the base of her debut novel, Bergdorf Blondes.

As working environments go, Sykes’ descriptions of the US and the UK couldn’t be more different. While the latter is, in some ways “still stuck in the Dark Ages”, the former, (New York in particular) is “an amazing place to work as a woman”. The pressure and the competition associated with US Vogue seems understandably intense, but it clearly works out for the best considering the unrelenting attention to detail which provides a certain sense of “authority”. Even though the novels Plum has written since joining American Vogue are fictional, they’ve certainly benefited from the prioritising of a need for accuracy and care instilled in Editor Anna Wintour’s team.

There’s a lot at stake with each publication, with 12-hour days not unheard of –and that’s just time spent in the office! When you factor in the events that need to be attended and reported on, and the weekend return flights to Paris, finding time for yourself is no mean feat. In fact, Plum even advised those looking to a career like this to “remember to get married and have a child or two.” Maybe she was joking, maybe not.

Even with all of that to deal with in the office, I wonder what sort of pressure she feels under to look or act in a certain way, given her 20-year Vogue background. She laughed and gave the knee-jerk response: talking of having to get weekly manicures in New York, partly to steer clear of Ms. Wintour’s distaste for scruffy nails.

More generally speaking, she talks of a greater pressure in the US to be very well turned-out, and that working for US Vogue, “of course everyone looks at what you’re wearing”, but she says that, in a way, that’s “part of the job”. When interviewing Rihanna for the March issue, for example, she didn’t expect her to turn up in an old pair of jeans and no make-up; instead, the singer arrived wearing 20cm stilettos and talon-like nails along with a full entourage. Interestingly, Plum says that celebrities and their style choices make up the bulk of the “personal style” of girls in the States, who are often more focused on trends and having “next season’s Prada shoe” – though Plum herself favours Mr Blahnik. As such, it’s the individuality of British styling which holds more allure for Plum – that, and the ever-polished, elegant look of French twenty-somethings in Paris.
So all in all, yes, it’s been a lot of hard work. And yes, it’s taken a fair while, but with a third book in the pipeline and a job she loves, it’s fair to say Plum Sykes is pretty inspiring. Not bad for someone who said they “would never have a career in fashion”.

Interview: John Rentoul

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John Rentoul is one of the most experienced and astute political commentators of our age, currently occupying the role of The Independent on Sunday’s chief political commentator. Total Politics gave him what many would consider a backhanded compliment, saying “his column in The Independent on Sunday has become one of the last bastions of pure, unadulterated Blairism”, while at the same time ranking him as the 3rd most important political journalist in Britain. He is perhaps best known for his humorous series of ‘Questions to Which the Answer is No’, which is a collection of absurd and hyperbolic media headlines and includes gems such as “‘Is Spongebob Squarepants the new Che Guevara?” and “ ‘Is this proof the Virgin Queen was an imposter in drag’”. He has continued this as a campaign of sorts against sensationalism in journalism.

But he is most notable as a biographer and chronicler of Tony Blair’s administration. Rentoul professes that so much of his writing has been related to Blair that “when Tony Blair stood down, I thought I was going to be out of a job, because so much of my profession had been made on knowing more about Tony Blair than anyone else!”

We begin by discussing Blair’s early years, as well as how his political style changed while he was in office.

“He matured very fast, matured in opposition as well. Before he became leader he was very good, but he was very inexperienced, you had the sensation soon after he became leader that the wheels are going to fall off this train, he doesn’t have the experience. But he proved to have such a good natural political judgement. He never made the same mistake twice. He learnt and grew amazingly quickly. The Clause 4 debate was one thing where he thought, here’s a big risk we could pull off, and it was spectacularly successful. It was after this that we saw a politician grow to take up virtually all available space in British politics. We forget it now, but there was a period of several years where he was just so dominant.”

Considering the gulf between popular opinion of Tony Blair and Rentoul’s view, I wonder what the most common public misconceptions of the man and his administration are, both at the time and now. “There were so many who projected their personal progressive hopes and expectations onto Blair. Expectations were high and contradictory. Everyone thought they voted for him to do what they wanted. That clearly wasn’t possible. There were people who voted for him because they wanted him to be pro-European and to join the Euro, people who wanted Proportional Representation in voting, people who wanted a rapprochement with Liberals, and all those things were just not going to be realizable. One of the most remarkable things was that he was able to put off the day of reckoning where people were disappointed in him for such a long time.”
But did it come harder once it came? “Yes, because he was able to put off the contradictions for so long that it became quite so vicious.

“A lot of the ‘Blair Rage’ phenomenon that I bang on about was a result of this but”, he pauses; “obviously Iraq was also a very important issue that people felt strongly about.

“I’ve been waiting for Blair revisionism to kick in but he seems to be getting more and more unpopular since he’s left.”

“He behaves in such a way that let people think that he doesn’t particularly care what they think. He swans around the world giving consultancy to what we consider unpopular governments. Also giving vast amounts of money away to charity, and raising money for good cause’s .This is all very un-British and people find it abhorrent that he should have the temerity to do this. Rather he should live on the isles of Scilly and live in sackcloth’s and ashes and do penance for getting the Iraq War wrong
“I’m afraid Iraq has poisoned the well sufficiently that historians will have a hard time looking at his administration objectively.”

We move onto the topic of the most controversial aspect of the Blair years, concerning his interventionist foreign policy and the invasion of Iraq. I ask if early successes, such as in the former Yugoslavia, Sierra Leone or Afghanistan, contributed to a sense of overconfidence in Blair about how easy the invasion of Iraq would be.

“Yes, that is definitely true, Kosovo in particular. It was an extraordinary achievement; people forget how hard it was now to persuade an extremely reluctant POTUS and 18 members of NATO who had to vote with unanimity. You had to persuade Greece and Germany; Germany with its recent history of pacifism, Greece with its problems with Macedonia on the border. And yet Tony Blair managed to do all that, managed to rally the international community behind the idea of interventionism, and it worked so well that within a year Milosevic was deposed in Serbia, so that clearly gave him far too much confidence in his own judgement.

“He should possibly have paid more attention to the fact that people back home gave him no credit for it whatsoever, they were just not interested. People were not interested in their PM swanning around solving the world’s problems.”

After this, Tony Blair’s world view came under a profound shift with the terrorist attacks of September 11. “I don’t agree with Tony Blair regarding the importance of 9/11. I wrote an article for The Independent a week after it happened saying that despite being a great atrocity it didn’t matter very much, and we shouldn’t take Islamic terrorism particularly seriously, which is not Blair’s view.”

He continues, talking about the question of how Blair’s premiership affected Britain’s international standing “The legacy of Iraq certainly had a negative effect on Britain’s international standing, although I still think it was the right decision considering the information we had at the time.”
“As soon as Blair came along he was one of the key players on the international stage in a very short time. But then of course Iraq did quite quickly erode this.”

One major criticism of New Labour was that it was a capitulation to Thatcherism; Blair said that after the 1980s the “battleground of politics is now over efficacy, not ideology” and I put this quote to Rentoul. “That’s one of Tony Blair’s classic phrases where he dresses up something completely banal as some kind of profound insight. He does himself a disservice with this. The idea that Blairism is some kind of continuation of Thatcherism is completely wrong.

“She did do some necessary things in turning around the economy and curtailing the power of the trade unions, but at the cost of huge social divisions. I think New Labour helped to repair those divisions, and towards making Britain a more social democratic country. But she did say the country would be safe in Tony Blair’s hands. Admired him on both a personal and political level. She was very solid on Kosovo for instance, and saw Blair as a necessary reaction to the soft appeasement of the Major government.”

We end by talking about the changing future of media, and I ask him his opinion on those frequently predicting the doom of professional journalism. “Getting paid for journalism is not dying but it is certainly shrinking. The idea of going into journalism as a career where you have a steady job for decades, that’s not really around anymore. The basics haven’t changed. If you’re interested in how things work and communicating that to other people, there is still a job for you somewhere I think Twitter has really transformed journalism in the last 5 years.

“By mistake The Independent’s people put me on Twitter and they put the blog on Twitter and it sort of exploded from there. If you’re not on Twitter as a journalist you are invisible, you don’t make the connections you need to. When I worked for the New Statesman a few years ago, the editor took someone out for lunch and just said, ‘don’t’. But I think if you want it badly enough; you’ll probably succeed in some form. These days you have to be on Twitter, you have to write and blog for nothing. The great thing is how democratic it is. I’ve seen several young people get into mainstream journalism just through being picked up like that. Talent will always shine through, and the only difference is you can spot it so much more easily now.”

Cherwell’s #1 Summer Playlist

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Summer can be a disappointing season. Dreams of summer lovin’ turn to awkward and disappointing flirtations with the local newsagent, and wild and wonderful holiday plans culminate in a donkey ride to a damp caravan.You may not end up on a beach like this one, but let’s hope that a listen to this playlist can make you imagine that you’re having fun.

Review: Grace of Monaco

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★☆☆☆☆
One Star

Grace of Monaco sees Nicole Kidman play the saintly Grace Kelly, international movie star extraordinaire turned radi­ant princess, as she bravely defends the princi­pality of Monaco on behalf of her unloving hus­band, Prince Rainier III, against the villainous French, led by Charles de Gaulle, who want to annex the tiny state because (gasp!) they don’t pay any taxes. Using all the weapons in her ar­senal – namely good looks, charm and, er, more good looks – our heroine takes it upon herself to single-handedly save her beloved underdog city of billionaire tax-avoiders. After a journey of self-discovery during which she gets drunk and watches her wedding video with a priest (yes, really), Grace “I am Monaco” Kelly makes a stirring speech about love conquering all and warms even the stony heart of de Gaulle, thus preserving the freedom of her adoptive people to gamble forever.

Saccharine doesn’t cover the half of it. Any film in whose title the main character is re­ferred to by first name is in immediate dan­ger of being overly familiar – imagine if Senna had been called “Ayrton” or Man­dela called “Nelson: Long Walk to Free­dom”. Bleurgh. From the opening shot, the adoring gazes of male extras at the divine Kelly set the sentimental, patron­ising tone of the film. Kelly, Rainier and Alfred Hitchcock become Gracey, Ray, and Hitch as the main characters; in one scene, Kelly and Hitchcock indulge in name-dropping so awful and preposterous that it is almost unbearable (“How is Cary?” asks Grace).

Grace of Monaco is a film that doesn’t understand its own irony. The message is clear: poor Grace is just so tired of furs, pearls and those silly velvet gloves she has to wear. Despite her difficult life in the gilt palace, Grace cares about normal people. Grace knows about European geopolitics. Most importantly, Grace flouts those silly Monégasque roy­al customs. Between scenes of horse riding, swimming in the palace gardens and banquets, Grace finds time to complain about how complicated everything is. It would be galling if it wasn’t so astounding.

Rupert Murdoch famously once remarked that his only qualm in funding Titanic was that everyone knew the ending. I would argue that James Cameron’s success represents proof that a historical film can still be good when one knows the outcome. Grace of Monaco is not that film. Anyone who knows that Monaco is still a sovereign nation knows what is going to hap­pen to Grace and Rainier, and so the drama is utterly flaccid as a result. Equally, the film’s emotional moments are cheesy and contrived. Kidman flounders without any substance to work with in the script; by no means is she to blame for the contradictions of her role, but she is the one who suffers for it.

The cast, too, could have delivered some­thing brilliant had anyone other than Kidman and Tim Roth, playing Rainier, been given more than a bit-part. Robert Lindsay, Derek Jacobi and Olivier Rabourdin all tease the viewer with their poten­tial, but are obscured by the over­whelming attention lavished on the titular character. Roth and Frank Lan­gella, who plays a priest close to Kelly, are both decent but again, are given little to work with.

I’m acutely aware that as a twenty-year-old male, I’m perhaps not this movie’s intended viewer. None­theless, I really don’t be­lieve anyone would give a damn about the strug­gles of the unfortunate Princess Grace. Grace of Monaco doesn’t manage to be offensive or even entirely boring, but ul­timately it is impossible to sympathise with Grace Kelly, and even more so via this woefully-written and poorly-executed endeav­our.