Friday 17th April 2026
Blog Page 1466

Freddy the Fresher 2014: Part 5

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‘You know the rules, let’s get started…’

Freddy gulps hard, like a thirsty dog.

He still can’t quite believe the last week. Sex with Bernadette seems to have expunged him of the desire for her, which had gripped him since that sweaty night in Babylove. Exorcising his Benenden demon – though it took a monumental and Shakespearean comedown from the coke to do so – has left in a state of bliss.

And then, two days later, he gets the call that he’s been drafted into the Judas College University Challenge team, because one of the team members was hit by a bicycle and has ungainly tyre marks on her face. It’s Freddy’s time to shine.

So here he is, under the blinding lights of MediaCity Salford, sitting across from none other than Jeremy Fucking Paxman. Anyone who ever doubted that he was going to do great things with his life can suck a dick- Freddy has arrived.

‘Which author, born in 1897, was responsible for works including 1936’s First Term at Malory Towers…’

BAM! Freddy hits his buzzer and his name is shouted around the studio.

‘Enid Blyton,’ he says, confidently. Paxman confirms this and there’s a smattering of applause. He remembers when Bernadette read a passage to him. It was her favourite book from childhood… 

‘Which London road is the site of the headquarters of Channel 4?’

BAM – Freddy – ‘Horseferry Road!’

Correct, of course, it’s Bernadette’s surname after all…

He managed to go through most of the quiz without another Slumdog Millionaire moment. Judas College have moved into a comfortable lead, which means he can slack off a little and his mind starts to wander to images of Bernadette’s bedroom interior. ‘Hadn’t I exorcised you a moment ago?’ he thinks to himself.

With the clock almost ticked away, and Judas all but home and dry, Freddy returns to full-consciousness in order to try and assist the team over the line.

‘Portrayed on television by Melissa Rauch, which sitcom character married her aerospace engineer boyfriend before he launched off for the International Space Station?’

Freddy’s hand hits his buzzer before he has time to compute the cosmic significance of the answer he’s about to give: ‘Bernadette!’

Correct! Of course it’s correct! After all this time he’s spent thinking and worrying and exorcising, Bernadette has been the correct thing all along. His eyes begin to well up with tears. I must get her back, he thinks; I must be a better boyfriend to her.

‘And at the gong it’s Judas College Oxford 260, Teesside University 145. It all seems to have been too much for Judas, as one of the team is actually crying…’

Disgruntled Oxford residents form Tenants’ Union

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On Tuesday, a group of students and Oxford residents came together for the first meeting of the Oxford Tenants’ Union in Oxford Town Hall.

The meeting, organised by Vera Wriedt and her housemates, aimed to bring tenants together in discussion to determine the principal problems facing people in rented accommodation in Oxford.

Those affected by specific issue put forth their stories. In Wriedt’s experience, the most pressing problem was the poor state of accommodation and utilities in Oxford housing.

In her recent article in the Oxford Student, Wriedt discussed of her rented property’s poor state of repair, saying, “For our first showers, we could choose between scolding hot or freezing cold, as a retiring boiler combined with illegal plumbing meant that mixing water into an enjoyable temperature was not possible”.

In addition to this, her housemates faced cold temperatures after a hole formed in an external wall. She told Cherwell, “This left a living room that looked like a construction site and a deep hole through which the winter entered our kitchen”. Her landlord and letting agency’s slow responses to a broken boiler and other issues was also a source of concern.

Wolfson postgraduate Eva Miller shared similar concerns. She spoke of the poor state and uncleanliness of her carpets, commenting, “My property is in disgraceful state: mouldy, drafty, unventilated, old carpets coming up at the edges. When I moved in the property had not been cleaned after the previous tenants and was filthy, and when I’d viewed the property they’d lied about what items came with the house”.

Miller went on to outline the effort and time it took to have issues with the accommodation seen to by the letting agency. “The property manager repeatedly lies outright about when maintenance will be carried out, sending emails saying things like: ‘I’ve arranged someone to come Friday’ when in fact it will take four weeks to get anything fixed. It took two months to get a faulty appliance replaced,” she said.

Miller also felt arbitrary fees were a serious concern for tenants in the Oxford area. She recounted her experience of being forced to professionally clean the property on arrival, despite the fact that the outgoing tenant was obligated to do so.

“In their contracts, they levy hundreds of pounds in ‘cleaning fees’ against tenants who don’t leave the property in a professionally clean state; if they’d charged the previous tenant for these, they’d kept them for themselves instead of using them to clean my place.”

The incompetence of letting agencies was the main problem for postgraduate Martin Lester. He spoke of the difficulties he had had in claiming back deposits and about the difficulty caused by the timing of the letting agency’s demands, remarking, “My biggest complaints concern a series of disputes with them (now resolved) about the return of a ‘retainer’ of £300 paid yearly around December to reserve it for renewal the following August.

“Paying the retainer in the first place is concerning, as it obliges me to find new tenants to replace those moving out (or lose the money), but many students do not seek accommodation until April or later”.

All agreed that a lack of awareness among tenants of their rights, and a lack of time to investigate, was a key concern. Miller hoped that the new Tenants’ Union would address this point, as well as provide a support network and helping to act for tenants in difficulty. “I’d like to see an active Union who can stand in the tenant’s corner and redress the imbalance between tenants and far more powerful letting agencies,” she said.

Lester also highlighted students as a group particularly vulnerable to exploitation by landlords or letting agencies, given their quick turnover and constant supply. He recommended a website and the involvement of the council as potential ways of approaching the problem.

“If we had a high-profile website that collected people’s experiences with letting agents, it might help people to avoid the bad ones. If the first result on Google for “Oxford letting agent” was a damning review of an agency, it might convince them to change. If letting agents were forced to register with a regulatory body, that might help”.

Tenants expressed hopes that OUSU, the Council, and local residents would provide continuity in quickly changing student population in order to keep the Union going.

Wriedt stressed the need to work together. “We need increased solidarity with other tenants in the face of rent hikes and letting agencies/landlords who care more about making money than about those who pay it – the tenants.”

Interview: Prince Reza Pahlavi

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When revolution struck Iran in 1979, Prince Reza Pahlavi, then nineteen, saw himself exiled from his home country. His father had been overthrown and the Iranian state was to become an Islamic regime, under Ayatollah Khomeini, which would radically alter the society, culture, and way of life of an entire nation.

The trajectory of how Pahlavi eventually came to be one of the most prominent advocates of freedom and democracy in Iran from that point is not easy to plot. As a student at Williams College and the University of Southern California, as well as during his time in Cairo where his father died in 1980, Pahlavi soon developed strong views on the issues of human rights and democracy, for which he is now fights across the world.

Author of three books, including ‘Winds of Change’, and also spokesman for the Iran National Council for Free Election, Pahlavi now spends his time travelling in the hope of promoting a change of regime in his home country. He is also, under the Persian constitution of 1906, the current heir to the Persian throne.

As a reader of Edward Said’s ‘Reflections on Exile’, I asked Pahlavi how this condition of exilehas shaped the way he has led his life since the revolution.
“It’s a different kind of pain, where you know that you want to be back home but you are prohibited from being there. The life of an exile is not like that of one who decides freely to emigrate and go somewhere else. Ever since my father died in Cairo, Iran has been foremost in my mind, and I have now been, for practically 33 years and counting, in the struggle of the opposition and trying to change things, so it has been the story of my life so far.

“I don’t look at exile necessarily in a negative way, because a lot of what I’ve learnt – being exposed to democratic societies, seeing life from the prism of the average citizen in these countries, interacting with them, understanding their aspirations and pains – there is no way I could possibly have had the experience I have today, which has enriched me in so many ways, had I inherited my father’s position.”

Indeed, despite not having been in Iran for over three decades, Pahlavi claims to speak for the average citizen in Iran, a suggestion many people have found problematic.

“The fact that I’ve been away from my country has not meant that I’ve been detached from what’s happening there, because I’ve always had a strong [line of] communication. I’m in touch with Iranians at home, dissidents, their activities etcetera – the only difference is that I’m not physically there, but it’s not that I’m detached.”

During his talk at the Oxford Union, Pahlavi spoke a lot about the errors of the Iranian regime, the work which needs to be done, and how a change of regime in Iran must come from within, with strong support from the West. However, there is little reference to the Arab Spring, or the possibility of a similar movement taking place in Iran. The role that social media could play in such a takeover intrigues Pahlavi.

“The most utilised tool of defiance and organisation is social media. For instance, every year around this time the Islamic Regime has a whole week dedicated to celebrating the revolution. A month ago, in close collaboration with dissident groups we supported two campaigns that call for an end to capital punishment and the forceful imposition of the veil. This came from inside. I’d never have dreamed of doing the things that we are capable of doing now even 20 years ago. Social media has been a tremendous tool which has been helpful to many civilian and democratic movements across the world – at least as a tool it has been successful in Iran so far.”

Despite his calls for freedom and democracy in Iran, Pahlavi is often criticised for continuing to use the dynastic title which has helped him project his voice around the world. In justifying his use of the royal badge to further his country’s aims, he says, “I am my own man, with my own ideas, and I am the product of my own generation. In that sense I hope that people assess me not on the basis of my inheritance but on the basis of my platform.”

Much of Pahlavi’s rhetoric is overly optimistic, plagued by the cultural essentialisms which dominate the West’s attitudes to the Middle East. When asked about the West’s part in contributing to the situation in Iran, the exiled Prince comments,“There are many aspects that are attractive to the average Iranian when he looks at the West holistically. Values, freedoms that they can exercise, which they come and see for themselves. When they come to these countries they have no worries. People seek this culture – and in many ways they want to show, and in many ways they demonstrate – their appreciation and their respect for that.

“It’s much more than a cultural thing, it’s to do with values, it’s recognising the values which are inherent in free societies which is the attraction. Equality is equality.

“Iran is one of the very few countries in the Middle East which had many of these values before the revolution and lost them. There was a time, not long ago, when an Iranian woman could drive at 2 o’clock in the morning, totally alone in her car across an a entire desert and nobody would dare stop her or attack her or intimidate her.”

Pahlavi’s attitude seems too hopeful. Too confident in the existence of “universal” values, in the inherent benevolence of the west, in the possibility of a peaceful revolution. And yet, as an exile, and a high-profile victim of the revolution, this is inspiring. Perhaps the only thing which can drive forward a movement of national liberation is an unwavering sense of hope in the face of all adversity.

Teddy Hall student impaled on fence

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A student from St Edmund Hall is recovering after impaling his leg on the fence around Christ Church Meadow in the early hours of Friday morning.

First year Ruari Clark was returning from a club after a rugby crew date and injured his leg whilst trying to climb over a fence.

Fellow Teddy Hall rugby player Robert Humphries commented, “It was on the night of a rugby crew date. Everyone from the crew date ended up in Bridge together and then, as far as I know, Ruari left the club independently, of his own accord, without anyone from SEHRFC, and appears to have slipped trying to climb a fence into Christ Church Meadow.”

“As I say, beyond that I’m currently unsure of any real details.”

Ruari has only recently been released from hospital and is still in recovery. He was unavailable for comment.

Christopher Lewis from the Deanery at Christ Church told Cherwell, “We are glad to hear that Mr Ruari Clark, a student at St Edmund Hall, is getting better after an injury sustained while trying to climb into the Christ Church Memorial Garden in the early hours of Friday morning.”

Interview: Vijay Mallya

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From Henry Ford, to John D. Rockefeller, to FIAT’s Gianni Agnelli, the 20th century was the century of the archetypal businessman patriarch. Nowadays, however, that kind of character, the public man with the business empire and strong political and social convictions, is far rarer. As such, talking to Vijay Mallya feels like chatting to an older, more understandable face of capitalism.
That’s not to say that the man, who is an Indian MP as well as the entrepreneur in charge of United Breweries, the Kingfisher airline, the Force India Formula 1 team, an Indian Premier League side and a couple of Indian football teams, is not in tune with current issues. Even after thirty years at the head of a multinational conglomerate, for example, he talks about the worrying levels of illiteracy in Indian adults with the eloquent manner of a man whose finger is still firmly “on the pulse”.

I didn’t miss the irony of sitting down to talk to Mallya in a bar. When I point this out to the man occasionally called ‘the Liquor Baron’, the joke takes a second to register, but this is perhaps the only time in our conversation that Mallya misses a beat. He’s a natural orator, clearly used to holding court in powerful circles.
Although he was in Oxford to talk politics, Mallya is primarily known for his business and sporting interests. Having taken over the leadership of the conglomerate United Breweries aged only 28, the Kartanaka-native is now especially relevant as several of the areas in which he operates, such as Indian politics and F1, are undergoing huge changes. In the wake of this altering landscape, I’m intrigued to know how the man defines himself. I put it to him that he is a man of many labels, and his response, that he’s both “a businessman and a man of all trades”, is telling, Mallya is a man who has made a living out of a sort of ‘trial and error’ approach to diversification.
On this note, we begin to talk about his business interests. In recent times, his airline company, Kingfisher Airlines, has been beset by problems, but Mallya puts me in my place somewhat when I comment on this. “You just can’t judge a career on only one thing, especially a sole failure set against a track record of success”.

A few years ago, Captain G R Gopinath, who founded the airline which Mallya bought and re-branded as the now-defunct Kingfisher Red budget carrier, told the BBC that he wondered whether, as successful as Dr. Mallya has been, he might have experienced more success had he not spread himself thinly.
The man himself, perhaps unsurprisingly, disagrees with this assessment. He tells me that, in reality, “the airline was never the core business”, suggesting that my vision of Vijay Mallya as a man who enjoys speculating to accumulate isn’t far from the truth.

Talking of this setback seems to irk Mallya, and he jumps to the defence of his airline – he explains that “Kingfisher Red’s failure was just a symptom of the wider global economic situation. We suffered due to things like high aviation taxation – it’s easy to forget how bleak the picture was five years ago.”
Eager to steer the conversation towards less murky waters, we talk alcohol. “It’s always been the main focus”, Mallya says, and when you realise that this is the man who owns brands ranging from Cobra beer to Vladivar vodka and Isle of Jura whisky, it becomes clear that this is a man who does indeed know an awful lot about enterprise. I suddenly feel rather indebted to him, though it also strikes me that I must have contributed a sizable amount to his, according to Forbes, $750m net worth.

More recently, the 58 year old has turned his hand to politics. Over the past ten years, Dr. Mallya has been elected as an Indian MP twice, running on an independent ticket. He tells me that he started out with the aim of using politics as a platform to give back to India, but throughout our conversation it is clear that Vijay harbours a certain degree of frustration with the current state of Indian politics. “I wanted to help back productive debate in parliament. It was important that I used my maiden speech to focus upon returning the focus to accountability.”

Given we are now firmly ensconced in the run-up to what will be a controversial general election later in the year, I ask him to explain a little more. Isn’t Indian politics improving along with the Indian economy? Mallya tells me I couldn’t be more wrong, explaining, “Indian politics has degenerated considerably over the last ten years.”

He ascribes much of the blame for this to the fractured nature of politics on the sub-continent, and the disconnect between the various state legislatures and the federal government. “It’s easy to underestimate the cultural differences across India, I’m not exaggerating when I say that the task of getting each state to pull together under the federal government will be a difficult one for the next ruling coalition.”

Mallya caused a good deal of controversy amongst the Indian government back in 2009, when the tycoon spent almost $2 million on Gandhi memorabilia at an auction. He acquired items like the Indian national hero’s eyeglasses and the last cup and bowl he drank and ate from. Many argued that the relics should not have been bought by a private collector, but Mallya points the finger of blame squarely at the government. “I had hoped that the then-government would have jumped at the chance to preserve such items but they didn’t seem bothered.”

He went on to say that he had felt obliged to step in, “it would have been sad to see them go somewhere like South Africa – which does equally have its links to him [Gandhi] – ahead of India where he represents so much.” He nods enthusiastically when I ask whether the purchase was motivated by his own strong sense of nationhood.

It’s impossible to talk of Mallya’s patriotism without acknowledging his sporting interests and his 2007 acquisition of Formula One team ‘Force India’ in particular. Although based over the road from Silverstone, Force India are the only de jure national team in the sport.

“It was really important to have an Indian team in F1,” he says. “There are millions of passionate racing fans in India and I wanted to represent them. It doesn’t matter about the drivers so much. Look at Ferrari who rarely have an Italian driving. It’s all about the team’s heart.” Of course, there are other, personal benefits to co-owning a racing team. “I love being there” he tells me. “It’s a fascinating experience.”

Cricket is another unsurprising passion, given the sport’s popularity in southern Asia, and I sense that as both fan, owner, and capitalist, Vijay might have something to say about the recent changes and long term future of the sport. The International Cricket Council (ICC) have just announced a dramatic change in structure which will hand far more power to the English, Australian, and Indian national boards, and Mallya is a big supporter of this. “Sport must be managed by those who generate the necessary revenue; cricket needs to be marketed well by those who have the resources. I don’t think the ICC would make a decision without the sport’s best interests in mind.”

As the owner of Indian Premier League side the Bangalore Royal Challengers, I suspect Mallya may have a vested interest in the ongoing cold war between the modern and traditional forms of cricket. This only proves half true, however. “The thing is” he says, “that you can’t sell a test match as easily as you can a 20/20 game. The 50 over game just isn’t half as commercial. I wonder whether football would be half as popular if the games were six hours long?”

Speaking to the so-called ‘King of the Good Times’ was undoubtedly an education. The man is forthright, gregarious, and able to offer an unique insight into the rise of Indian business.

As I rise to leave and compliment Mallya on his frequently changing sunglasses (seriously, keep an eye out when the Formula One season begins), I can’t escape the feeling that I’m simply the latest in a long line of people to struggle to get much of a handle on Vijay. The fact is that, whichever of his various jobs or hobbies takes precedence next, my bet is on him continuing to resist any labels. He’ll enjoy himself, he may even make a difference, and he will definitely make more money.

Investigation: Animal Testing

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Every Thursday lunchtime, a small contingent of protestors from the animal rights advocacy group, SPEAK, assembles outside the Biomedical Sciences Building to protest against the use of animals in scientific research at Oxford University. They stand holding signs with pictures of bloody, mauled monkeys, rats and mice, urging passers-by to sign petitions to end the use of animals in medical research in Oxford.
This week, following a video report in which the BBC showed footage from within the Biomedical Sciences Building for the first time, Cherwell decided to dig deeper into the issues surrounding animal testing.

Protests against animal testing in Oxford are frequent. In November 2006, Mel Broughton targeted the University with petrol bombs to protest against animal testing in Oxford, and was subsequently convicted to 10 years of jail. Demonstrations in Oxford are frequent, and often gather hundreds of people to protest against the University’s stance on an issue which has wide-reaching national connotations.

Following numerous threats, the contractor in charge of the construction of the Biomedical Sciences building was forced to paralyse the works in 2004, but the construction was resumed eighteen months later, and in 2009, the building became fully operational.

50,000 mice and 23 macaque monkeys are currently held in the Biomedical Sciences Building. Primates account for 0.5% of the animals kept in Oxford University labs. As part of medical research, surgery – or what campaigners refer to as ‘vivisection’ – is performed on many of these animals in order to test for a number of diseases and potential cures. Oxford does not carry out pharmaceutical or cosmetic testing, which was banned by the European Union in 2009. The issue of whether these tests carried out on animals are essential for the advancement of science and medicine lies at the heart of what is a very delicate national debate.

At the centre of the debate is a question of morals and ethics – and whether it is justifiable to inflict a degree of pain on animals if the medical benefits are considerable. The law, outlined by the Animals (Scientific Procedures) Act 1986 and enforced through strict guidelines by the Home Office, allows for the assumption that a limited amount of animal testing can benefit scientific research, although the degree of pain and the number of animals which institutions are allowed to test is strictly supervised. Animal rights campaigners, however, call for a change in this law.

Oxford is one of 40 institutions in the UK which has a license to perform animal tests according to these guidelines. Much of the research carried out in Oxford is supported by the Wellcome Trust, which provides grants and support for academics engaged in animal research.
A freedom of information request carried out by C+ revealed that, in 2012, Oxford University used 192,000 rodents, 6,120 animals classified as Fish/Amphibians/Reptiles, 155 birds, 3,074 rats, and 29 non-human primates.

The Home Office previously required all animal testing license holders to break down the number of scientific procedures according to the level of pain inflicted on the animal being tested. The same Freedom of Information request revealed that the majority (60%) of procedures carried out by Oxford University are classified as inflicting “moderate” pain on the animal, whilst 33% of these were “mild”, 4% “substantial” and 3% unclassified.

A spokesperson for SPEAK told C+ that, “SPEAK has lost count of the number of people who have said ‘thank goodness you are still here’, and SPEAK will continue to be there on South Parks Road every Thursday afternoon until Oxford University moves into the 21st century and adopts the numerous, scientific, forward-thinking humane methods for medical advancement which do not involve the use of animals.”

Tom Holder, a spokesperson for pressure group Speaking of Research, outlined his organisation’s advocacy of animal testing. “Speaking of Research aims to provide information on the vital role of animals in the development of modern medical and veterinary treatments.”

He continued, “Born out of the Oxford-based Pro-Test student movement we aim to dispel the misinformation surrounding this issue. It is hard to deny the important role of animals in research when we consider modern treatments like Herceptin, a humanised mouse protein – impossible to develop without animal research – which has contributed to a 20% rise in 5-year survival rates for breast cancer in the past two decades.”

An Oxford University spokesperson also described the university’s commitment to medical research. “The University’s medical research is devoted to identifying the causes of disease, improving diagnosis and prevention, and developing effective treatments and cures. Diseases where millions of lives can be saved – such as cancer, stroke, malaria and HIV – are of particular interest. Oxford also has world-leading research programmes in heart disease, musculoskeletal disorders such as arthritis and osteoporosis, and neurological disorders such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.”

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Nevertheless, Michelle Thew, CEO of the British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection (BUAV), condemned the extent of Oxford’s animal research. “The BUAV fully supports the need for scientific research, not least into finding cures for human illness and diseases. However, this should not be achieved by deliberately inflicting suffering on animals in experiments. Our objection to animal testing is primarily ethical, but there is also a large and growing body of evidence about the scientific unreliability of animal experiments.

“As long as animals are used in experiments, we will continue to argue for greater openness about what goes on in laboratories. FOI gives us the right to ask any public sector organisation for all the recorded information they have on any subject. Let’s make sure we keep it that way and work for greater transparency.”

A spokesperson for Understanding Animal Research also pointed out that since 1986 it has been illegal to use an animal for research if there is an alternative, noting the fact that animals are tested “is testament to the absence of practicable alternatives.”

Oxford is one of a total of forty institutions across the country to rely on animal testing for scientific research. Imperial College London last month attracted controversy when a report by a panel of independent scientists identified a lack of “adequate operational, leadership, management, training, supervisory and ethical review systems” at the university. The report followed an undercover investigation last April by the animal rights group British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection (BUAV). Professor Steve Brown, from the MRC Mammalian Genetics Unit, who chaired the report, said the report includes lessons to be learned by all researchers who utilise animal testing: “While our focus has been on Imperial College, the committee’s recommendations should serve as a useful framework for other institutions to review their policies and practices.”

One of the main recent developments in animal testing regards the increased use of genetically modified animals – a trend which, according to Marcel Leist, Doerenkamp-Zbinden Chair of Alternatives to Animal Experimentation at the University of Konstanz, extends across Europe. He told Cherwell that although “there is a general trend for reduced numbers of traditional animals, the situation is different for transgenic animals. Their use is skyrocketing.

“They make up about a third of all animals used in Germany, and they compensate or overcompensate the reduced use of animals in all other areas. There is good success in reducing the number of test animals in many areas, but other areas (especially basic research) are increasing instead.”

This rise in the use of genetically modified animals is reflected in recent stats from the Home Office relating to scientific procedures on animals in Great Britain. Their data shows that there were 4.11 million scientific procedures on animals started in 2012, an increase 8% on 2011.
The rise was mainly attributable to an increase of 363,100 (+22%) in the breeding of genetically modified animals and harmful mutants.

Fresher taken back to college by the police

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An Exeter Fresher was handcuffed and put into a police car last Thursday night after being thrown out of The Bridge and getting into an altercation with one of the club’s bouncers.

The student, who asked to remain anonymous, was forcefully ejected from the nightclub late on Thursday evening, after engaging in rowdy behaviour. Consequently, he got involved in a scuffle with the doorman, at which point the police were called in to drive him back to college.

Phil Davidson, owner of The Bridge, explained, “If a student had been behaving badly in the club he would have been asked to leave. Police are often in attendance on Hythe Bridge St. and will assist our door staff with any problem.”

He continued, “In this case there was no physical damage suffered and it would seem that the police took the view that for this student’s own safety they ought to escort him back to his college.”

The student, who was immediately handcuffed, was reportedly abusive towards the officers, shouting “fuck the police” while detained in the police car.
Looking back on the incident, he told Cherwell, “I have no recollection of the event whatsoever: I only realised what happened when, looking for my Bod Card in my pocket to go to brunch the next day (I misakenly thought it was Saturday), I found a note from the police instead describing me as ‘disorderly, intoxicated and argumentative’… At least I knew that they got the right guy.”

An Exeter first year, who was an eyewitness to the events, said, “That’s a pretty handy way of getting back to college! If only it had been after the night out.”

Likewise, another eyewitness from St Benet’s said, “Can’t believe he got put in handcuffs: sign of a good night. Though it’s never a good idea to go head-to-head with a bouncer.”

The student’s Thursday night antics were also met with acclaim from some Oxford graduates. A fresher from St Cross stated, “This almost rivals the Daily Mail story of the Odham teen waking up in Paris. I guess Oxford undergraduates really know how to party.”

A Keble second year, who frequents The Bridge, thought the student’s behaviour was “reprehensible”. She told Cherwell, “I think it’s ridiculous how rowdy students get on nights out. Bouncers have loads to put up with.”

Similarly, a student from Wolfson remarked, “My Thursday nights involve long bouts of solitude churning out page after page of dissertation material. Obviously, something went wrong somewhere along the line. Perhaps I should start coming to Exeter more.”

The Exeter student confirmed, “To be honest, it seems to be becoming quite standard for fresher classicists at Exeter to get arrested after the arrest at Freud’s in Freshers’ Week: only a few more of us to go now.”

He went on, “Thankfully I didn’t get a criminal record, though I might have to give Bridge a miss for the next couple of weeks, and maybe give some of the more sketchy clubs a try instead.”

“Foolish and dangerous” drinking craze continues

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Oxford University, OUSU, and college deans have condemned the drinking craze NekNominate, after the number of students participating increased.

a University spokesperson said of NekNominate, “The University encourages students who consume alcohol to do so responsibly. It is difficult to imagine that drinking large quantities of alcohol in such a short space of time could fall within any definition of responsible drinking.”

Tom Rutland, the current OUSU President, was similarly negative about the proliferation of NekNominate videos, commenting that, “‘The NekNominate craze is foolish and dangerous. Downing a pint or more of spirits, as just one example of the videos I’ve seen, is extremely dangerous and has lead to serious harm and even deaths. I think that the vast majority of Oxford students recognise the idiocy of the craze and I’ve seen a couple of amusing, ironic takes on it.”

Various students pre-eminent in Oxford societies have also been drawn into the craze. Union president-elect Ben Sullivan uploaded a video of himself downing a pint of beer and port on to Facebook, and former LMH JCR President Fergus Imrie also polished off a pint of beer in rapid time for his video.

Over the past two weeks, NekNominate stunts around Oxford have escalated. One student who wishes to remain anonymous recorded himself finishing a pint whilst defecating on the Quad of Downing College Cambridge; another third year student stripped to his boxers and drank a pint outside the Radcliffe Camera. One student who did not wish to drink alcohol drank his own semen when fulfilling his NekNomination.

In Keble College, NekNominations took place in the college library and chapel. The Dean of Keble College told Cherwell, “The college is very concerned about the potential for physical harm resulting from NekNomination, in particular because of the coercion to consume alcohol. This behaviour is very strongly discouraged and both the JCR and MCR have been helping to spread the word about the dangers associated with this trend.”

Likewise, Jamie Wells, the OUSU Health and Welfare rep, stressed his condemnation of the trend and encouraged students who had been nominated to think carefully before partaking, “‘We realise the potentially harmful effect of viral crazes like neknominate and encourage all students to act responsibly in their consumption of alcohol. There is no harm in ignoring a ‘nomination’, as many people already do, and students should not feel under pressure to make one of these videos.”

George Greenwood, a third year at Christ Church who took part in the craze, took a more positive approach: “I think that generally NekNomination is an entertaining form of fun among friends, if treated sensibly. However, as we have seen in some tragic cases, social pressure and laddish one-upmanship can encourage some to dangerously abuse alcohol, and Tom is right to raise this issue. The best NekNomination that I have seen does not involve alcohol at all, consisting of one of my friends failing miserably to down a litre of sparkling water. Quite frankly, watching someone drink a pint of vodka and then throw up in an underpass is a bit grim.”

One student at Christ Church who was filmed downing a pint of wine at the top of St Mary’s, said, “I really think NekNominations are pretty harmless compared to the vast majority of drinking games. Unlike most drinking games, your nomination is only over the internet, so there is far less immediate peer pressure than there is if you are at a party/crewdate and asked to down shot after shot. You also have 24 hours to decide whether you want to participate or not, so you’ve got plenty of time to think it over.

Recent days have seen a new trend based on NekNominate emerge, where people are nominated to do a random act of kindness. Known as RAKNominate, it has proved a popular alternative. Acts vary from giving scouts a bunch of flowers to giving food to homeless people on the streets of Oxford. Megan, a first year student at Regent’s Park said of RAK Nominate, “It’s a force for good in a world ruined by laddish culture and binge drinking, epitomised by NekNominate.”

Morgan Harries, a first year English student, agreed with criticism of the fad. She told Cherwell, “I think NekNominate is kind of lame. Drinking over the recommended weekly allowance is kind of lame.”

Merton JCR bans The Sun from common room

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Merton College JCR has voted to ban The Sun from its common room in protest against Page 3.

The motion, which passed at the JCR meeting last Sunday, was proposed by Merton’s Equal Opportunities Officer Hamish Forbes and seconded by OUSU’s Rent and Accommodation Officer Sophie Terrett.

27 members voted in favour of the motion, with 13 opposing it. There were only two recorded abstentions in what the JCR Vice-President Liz Milne described as a “high turnout”.

Forbes said the idea was to send a message to the Sun, as well as to show solidarity with the national ‘No More Page 3’ movement. He explained, “It’s important that we passed this motion in order to demonstrate to the Sun’s editors that we as a leading educational institution are opposed to Page Three in its current form”.

He went on to stress that the initiative gained strength from the number of members. “Every added organisation or institution to the list of those supporting the campaign is important”, he said.

The decision was not an easy one for all members of the JCR to take. PPE student Jonas Müller voiced opposition, warning that banning one newspaper would “lead to a slippery slope”. He added that “banning things for moral reasons is concerning,” and that if the nudity was the source of people’s worries the motion was pointless, as “12 year olds can watch porn online anyway”.

LGBTQ Rep Alex Beecham made the argument that the motion should be a protest about the objectification of women and not about nudity. Other speakers at the meeting concurred. Forbes agreed too and an amendment was made in order to clarify this point.

Information and Returning Officer Joe Hackett was worried about increasing the effect of the ‘Oxford Bubble’, noting that Merton JCR does not subscribe to the Daily Mail, and thus by banning The Sun would have no access to Britain’s first and second most popular newspaper. Finalist Chris McCabe worried that the lack of the Sun would lead to a lack of working class representation in the JCR’s media subscriptions.

The ‘No More Page 3’ campaign has gathered pace in recent weeks, gaining the backing of several well-known institutions and individuals. Edinburgh, Durham, UCL, Manchester and Oxford Brookes are just some of the 27 universities to have stopped stocking the paper. On top of this the campaign has received backing from politicians, unions, charities and celebrities. 151 MPs signed a letter asking for the Sun to end the feature, and Russell Brand published a photo of him wearing a No More Page 3 T-shirt.

“I’m surprised it took so long to happen,” said one first-year of the motion. “And even more surprised that some people voted against it. “Although I can understand maybe why they thought it was a bit unclear”.

One JCR member maintained, “A lot of people seemed unsure about how effective the whole thing was. I mean I get the idea that we’ll achieve more as part of a wider movement, but how much pressure will The Sun really be feeling as a result?”

Another Mertonian was concerned about how lightly some of the undergraduates were taking the new rulings. They explained that some older students, having discovered that it is impossible to appeal a motion within two years of its passing, were “talking about simply buying the Daily Sport instead”. This would “totally defeat the purpose of the motion”, they claimed.
Merton joins a host of other colleges in banning the paper. Brasenose, St Hugh’s, New, University and Teddy Hall have all outlawed the tabloid in recent times. New College student Verity Bell commended Merton’s decision commenting, “I’m glad that Oxford undergraduates are tackling the everyday objectification of women in the tabloid press directly.”

One Brasenose student said, “Taking these sorts of decisions has a positive direct effect; but the largest impact comes from the publicity generated in doing so. When Merton become another addition to the colleges that have taken a stand against The Sun, the message will gain further traction and hopefully be considered at a higher level.”

The No More Page 3 campaign acknowledged Merton’s efforts by retweeting Hamish Forbes declaration of success.

Magdalen bed bugs cause chaos

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A bed bug infestation led to freshers being evacuated from Magdalen accommodation last week.

The infestation spread through the ground floor of the Waynflete Building, part of the first years’ accommodation over Magdalen Bridge. Alongside the continued flooding of the toilets on the corridor, this has resulted in the exodus of all nine residents on the floor.

One of the students affected by the infestation told Cherwell, “The issue started when I came back after the Christmas holidays. I first noticed something was wrong when I developed a rash on my arm, as I’m mildly allergic to insect bites. Later I found an insect in my room and went to speak to the Waynflete Dean. Despite them cleaning my room again, a week (and several more bites) later I found another insect.”

“Fortunately there have been no issues in my new room, but the whole experience was very unpleasant and not what I was expecting to have to deal with on returning to college after the holidays. 

“I have to say, if it was true that they knew there was a bug problem over the holidays then I’m very disappointed with the college for not sorting it out. It may only be student accommodation, but we are still paying ‘customers’ and I’d expect better than that.

“Although, I wouldn’t be entirely surprised; the whole of the ground floor of the Waynflete have been moved out because the toilets kept flooding the bathroom and the corridor, which was also very unpleasant, and has been happening continuously for over a year, (four times this term alone!). The college are now fixing this issue, and are replacing all the carpets and beds on ground floor. However, it has been a lot of hassle that I would rather not have had to deal with.”

Indeed, one student on the affected corridor told Cherwell, “I wasn’t actually personally affected by the bed bugs on my corridor- despite the fact that I still had to move into temporary accommodation, although this was more as a result of the flooding toilets.”

The accommodation is now being overhauled, with the floors being taken up and all the affected rooms being stripped. It is believed that the rooms will be uninhabitable for the rest of the academic year.

One graduate student at Magdalen expressed their concern. They said, “The fact that this infestation had gone unrecognised for as long as it took for it to spread to multiple rooms is more than worrying for the rest of Magdalen accommodation.”

One St. Anne’s third year expressed his surprise at the way that the situation had been dealt with.He said, “Lord al-mite-y! It really bugs me that colleges think they can get away with these ant-ics. They’d bed-er get their act together to ensure this doesn’t happen again.

“I suppose if it came to choosing between living with bed bugs and sleeping rough, it’d be the lesser of two weevils. I used to have an insect in my room, but I got rid of it. Shame really, it was my pest de resistance. Magdalen should certainly follow suit. For a wealthy college, this is really taking the pest.”

When contacted by Cherwell on Thursday, a spokesperson for Magdalen was unavailable for comment.