Tuesday 26th August 2025
Blog Page 1701

Oxford Oddities #3 – Univ

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Percy the tortoise, much-loved pet of University College, is aptly named after their greatest and most radical student, Percy Bysshe Shelley. The romantic poet whose frequently quoted verse has echoed through the generations, led a life that was not as aesthetic as his poetry might suggest. Eldest son of parliamentary Whig, Timothy Shelley, Percy whiled away his childhood in aristocratic tranquillity, fishing, hunting and being home-schooled. This sheltered upbringing clearly failed to prepare him for his teenage years at Eton where Percy was bullied by ‘Shelley-baits’ who reduced him each day to a high-pitched, screaming wreck.

Percy the tortoise, much-loved pet of University College, is aptly named after their greatest and most radical student, Percy Bysshe Shelley. The romantic poet whose frequently quoted verse has echoed through the generations, led a life that was not as aesthetic as his poetry might suggest. Eldest son of parliamentary Whig, Timothy Shelley, Percy whiled away his childhood in aristocratic tranquillity, fishing, hunting and being home-schooled. This sheltered upbringing clearly failed to prepare him for his teenage years at Eton where Percy was bullied by ‘Shelley-baits’ who reduced him each day to a high-pitched, screaming wreck.
At Oxford, Shelley only managed to attend one lecture since his time was taken up by sixteen hours of reading a day. He was later expelled for a radical pamphlet which he refused to recant. By this time, he had matured into a fiercely liberal poet whose radical views included public support for the poor and a non-exclusive model of love and marriage.
Shelley’s expulsion was followed swiftly by his passionate affair with Harriet Westbrook. They eloped to Scotland to rescue her from boarding school and from her suicidal depression. But this infatuation did not last long, Shelley began to suspect that she had married him for his money and he grew tired of her lack of intellectualism.
His craving for intellectual female companionship culminated in his falling in love with Mary Godwin. The pair met secretly at the grave of Mary’s famous feminist mother, Mary Wollstonecraft. In Mary, Shelley found the intellectual and artistic companion he had longed for.
Faced with the hostility of Mary’s father and the pregnancy of Harriet, Shelley and Mary ran away to Switzerland together, taking Mary’s younger sister Claire with them because of her French abilities. The trio travelled across Europe reciting aloud the works of literary greats and enjoying a bohemian lifestyle of creative indulgence and appreciation. They repeated a similar trip a few years later when they met the celebrated Byron, with whom Shelly formed an intense poetic friendship and by whom Claire fell pregnant.
But this lifestyle was not without its misfortune. Shelley’s insistence on following the desires of his heart broke the hearts of others. Within two months of each other both Harriet and Mary’s younger sister Fanny committed suicide, after being abandoned by the poet’s artistic trio. Shelley quickly married Mary in the hope of securing the guardianship of his children by Harriet, but was unsuccessful.
Shelley, Mary and their poetic acquaintances continued their bohemian life in Europe until 1822, when a boating accident sent him to a watery grave. At Shelley’s funeral his friend Trelawney, moved deeply by the poet’s death, snatched his heart from the depths of the funeral pyre, unable to bear the thought of such a great heart being reduced to common ashes.

At Oxford, Shelley only managed to attend one lecture since his time was taken up by sixteen hours of reading a day. He was later expelled for a radical pamphlet which he refused to recant, called ‘The Necessity of Atheism’. By this time, he had matured into a fiercely liberal poet whose radical views included public support for the poor and a non-exclusive model of love and marriage.

Shelley’s expulsion was followed swiftly by his passionate affair with Harriet Westbrook. They eloped to Scotland to rescue her from boarding school and from her suicidal depression. But this infatuation did not last long, Shelley began to suspect that she had married him for his money and he grew tired of her lack of intellectualism.

His craving for intellectual female companionship culminated in his falling in love with Mary Godwin. The pair met secretly at the grave of Mary’s famous feminist mother, Mary Wollstonecraft. In Mary, Shelley found the intellectual and artistic companion he had longed for.

Faced with the hostility of Mary’s father and the pregnancy of Harriet, Shelley and Mary ran away to Switzerland together, taking Mary’s younger sister Claire with them because of her French abilities. The trio travelled across Europe reciting aloud the works of literary greats and enjoying a bohemian lifestyle of creative indulgence and appreciation. They repeated a similar trip a few years later when they met the celebrated Byron, with whom Shelly formed an intense poetic friendship and by whom Claire fell pregnant.

But this lifestyle was not without its misfortune. Shelley’s insistence on following the desires of his heart broke the hearts of others. Within two months of each other both Harriet and Mary’s younger sister Fanny committed suicide, after being abandoned by the poet’s artistic trio. Shelley quickly married Mary in the hope of securing the guardianship of his children by Harriet, but was unsuccessful.

Shelley, Mary and their poetic acquaintances continued their bohemian life in Europe until 1822, when a boating accident sent him to a watery grave. At Shelley’s funeral his friend Trelawney, moved deeply by the poet’s death, snatched his heart from the depths of the funeral pyre, unable to bear the thought of such a great heart being reduced to common ashes.

A Bluffers’ Guide to: Anton Chekhov

He’s the Russian guy off Star Trek, right?

No. Not even close. A Russian doctor, born in 1860, who funded his university career by tutoring privately, catching and selling goldfinches, and (happily for us) writing short plays.

I thought we were talking about playwrights here?

He wrote both plays and short stories, though it’s debatable which he did better. He cranked out his first play Ivanov in just ten days; like the rest of his works, it would be critically acclaimed and form a staple of student and professional theatre.

Only ten days? He must have been a pretty prolific writer.

Actually, he only wrote five plays. Four of them are considered masterpieces, which probably gives him one of the highest success rates of any writer. He found his niche by eschewing the melodrama popular at the time, and letting all the dramatic high points occur offstage, simply showing his characters’ reactions.

Didn’t he also own a gun?

‘One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.’ The literary technique that allows the introduction of apparent irrelevancies to make the writer look really clever later on became a favourite trick of Chekhov’s, usually in relation to depressed young Russian men committing suicide.

So, all-in-all, one to know?

Exactly. He never expected to be appreciated after his death in 1904, but he became a favourite of Hemingway, Joyce, and Woolf. The only person who really hated him was fellow 19th Russian literati Tolstoy, who thought he was ‘worse than Shakespeare’ – which, as far as theatrical insults go, is pretty tame.

Catch your interest?

Check-off these plays

Ivanov

The Marriage Proposal

The Seagull

Uncle Vanya

The Cherry Orchard

May the Norse be with you

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Hwæt is the point of Old English? For many of us English students, there’s no point in a discussion – it has to be done, and then after prelims you can either look smugly at Mitchell and Robinson sitting gathering dust on your shelf, or kick-start your second-hand book business.
But what if you chose to do it? (And, technically, in first year you do – most people are simply coerced out of Middle English to save it for later.)
If you have the immense pleasure to be a joint-schools student such as yours truly, you can skip Old English – and then decide in your second year that actually, you’d like to give it a go.
I’ve received many an exclamation of surprise when explaining my choices to others and, to be honest, this twentieth century fanatic has rather surprised herself.
So, what madness drove me to volunteer for something many others gladly leave behind? Well, firstly, I do German, which makes Old English ‘easier’ (only slightly) and secondly, it was… different?
I know, not the most convincing argument in the world. But, by the time I’d reached half-way through second year, there didn’t seem to be much point in turning back.
Faced with your first essay, you’re thrust into an alien world – forced to forfeit your favourite allusions to Nietzschean philosophy or dehumanising mechanisms – you’re feel very disorientated.
So you flick back and forth between The Wanderer and the glossary, you wade through the jumble of letters and muddle of cases, simultaneously scroll desperately through Companion articles, and you pray for some kind of salvation to come.
Eventually though, you hit upon some alliterative emphasis, then some parallelism, and even a pun – you’ve found familiar territory at last.
After that you slip more easily into the content itself; gold twinkles under the spotlight of glorification, and earth-walkers trudge through a pensive landscape of immense scope. They may not have got around to inventing the radio yet, but something about the raw flexibility of thoughts outside of terminology allows Old English poetry to echo through a whole millennium. The ancient words can still reverberate off our own sensitivity to transience and playing with preconceptions through the wit of well-placed words.
It reminds you that words don’t belong in a neatly limited glossary, and can catch you out if they turn out to be a false friend.
So take that, existential crisis! The past is getting its own back on the radical modern mind-boxes, and is reintroducing learned thought to good old-fashioned thinking.

Hwæt is the point of Old English? For many of us English students, there’s no point in a discussion – it has to be done, and then after prelims you can either look smugly at Mitchell and Robinson sitting gathering dust on your shelf, or kick-start your second-hand book business.

But what if you chose to do it? (And, technically, in first year you do – most people are simply coerced out of Middle English to save it for later.) If you have the immense pleasure to be a joint-schools student such as yours truly, you can skip Old English – and then decide in your second year that actually, you’d like to give it a go.I’ve received many an exclamation of surprise when explaining my choices to others and, to be honest, this twentieth century fanatic has rather surprised herself.

So, what madness drove me to volunteer for something many others gladly leave behind? Well, firstly, I do German, which makes Old English ‘easier’ (only slightly) and secondly, it was… different? I know, not the most convincing argument in the world. But, by the time I’d reached half-way through second year, there didn’t seem to be much point in turning back.

Faced with your first essay, you’re thrust into an alien world – forced to forfeit your favourite allusions to Nietzschean philosophy or dehumanising mechanisms – you feel very disorientated.So you flick back and forth between The Wanderer and the glossary, you wade through the jumble of letters and muddle of cases, simultaneously scroll desperately through Companion articles, and you pray for some kind of salvation to come. Eventually though, you hit upon some alliterative emphasis, then some parallelism, and even a pun – you’ve found familiar territory at last. After that you slip more easily into the content itself; gold twinkles under the spotlight of glorification, and earth-walkers trudge through a pensive landscape of immense scope.

They may not have got around to inventing the radio yet, but something about the raw flexibility of thoughts outside of terminology allows Old English poetry to echo through a whole millennium. The ancient words can still reverberate off our own sensitivity to transience and playing with preconceptions through the wit of well-placed words.It reminds you that words don’t belong in a neatly limited glossary, and can catch you out if they turn out to be a false friend.

So take that, existential crisis! The past is getting its own back on the radical modern mind-boxes, and is reintroducing learned thought to good old-fashioned thinking.

Preview: The Soldier’s Tale

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After a quick pre-preview Goog­le, I discovered to my surprise that The Soldier’s Tale was actu­ally intended by Stravinsky not to be acted, but to be ‘read, played and danced’. My expectations were not disappointed but surpassed, if only in part because I did not know what to expect. But you can expect great things.

The plot itself is based on a Russian folk tale, and certainly retains the moral simplicity of a fable. Joseph is accosted by a devil, to whom he gives his fiddle in exchange for a book that will make him wealthy.

He is then persuaded to stay at the devil’s luxurious abode and teach him how to play the fiddle, thinking only to spend three days there. This turns out to actually last three years and tragedy ensues. For me, though, the story is just the half of it. What makes me really want to buy a ticket is the way the dancers communicate the emotions of their characters through sheer body language. The dialect they have chosen can only be described as a sort of contemporary ballet, as wildly fluid as emotions themselves.

Not being a dance connoisseur, I felt slightly out of place as I sat down for the first scene, in which Joseph the soldier plays his fiddle tempt­ing the spirits of the nearby stream out of their watery home. But as the music began, and the three dancers skipped into action, I was sucked in. I felt myself transported by the quirky grace of the dancers’ movements, a visual echo of the bouncing brass and free-spirited strings. Leaping up, throwing themselves down, sliding and gliding and generally reaching out into every corner of space, they sought to own the stage in a gentle and varied attack.

The homecoming scene really showed Stravinsky’s work and the cast’s skill at its best. Joseph, swing­ing from joyful hope to darkest dis­appointment as quickly as his feet could carry him across the stage, seemed to be both isolated and yet strangely in harmony with his fellow dancers, robotically dead-pan yet ex­pressively supple.

But words are not enough. This piece is not to be read about in a re­view, but to be heard and seen in the flesh. And if that isn’t enough, there’ll be a live orchestra, too.

Not so swinging sixties

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o trace the ‘Swinging Sixties’ is to travel a well-trodden path: you don’t need more than a cursory knowledge to know that The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, free love and conspicuous drug-taking all featured heavily. In his new autobiography, My Cool Sixties: Lennon, Jagger & The Rest, journalist Tony Norman revisits that well-known history and, consequently, much of the book’s content is already familiar.
The title (which promises a lot more than Norman could ever deliver) refers to his meetings with John Lennon and Mick Jagger, although he didn’t exactly hang out with them regularly: the Jagger event was an interview for Top Pops magazine, whilst the interview with Lennon seems to have been conducted alongside several other journalists.
JFK’s assassination is covered, with Norman calling it ‘sad, sadder than sad’ (I think he’s trying to tell us it’s sad); Ursula Andress in Doctor No is ‘absolutely sexily gorgeous’ (another original insight); and the Mods and Rockers, fighting in Brighton, are ‘some blokes [having] a good punch-up’. He desperately tries to prove that he was in the midst of the free love movement when he recounts receiving a blow job from a random woman, yet he somehow misses the whole point when he writes, ‘that gentle, trippy sister of mercy definitely shone the light for free love. Will we meet again? Probably not, but I won’t forget her’.
An autobiography is an intensely personal medium, yet Norman has filled his book with references to events that he had very little to do with. By relating his life vicariously through that which we already know, Norman has stumbled upon one of the most lasting legacies of the Sixties: the faddism of youth culture (although you’d be better off watching Quadrophenia or American Graffiti for more entertaining explorations of this). Things become relatively more interesting when Norman talks about his home life, but this book tells us as much about the reality of that decade as Austin Powers or The Ruttles, and I know as much about Tony Norman the man after finishing this dull read as I did when I started.
Besides the predictable content, Norman’s style also leaves much to be desired: he ‘plecks’ his bass with his ‘pluctrum’ and bands are ‘fabtastic’. Somehow it was deemed advisable to use huge strings of words, so that we are confronted with the ‘oldladynakedinthebathroom’ shock, and adults’ hatred ‘nastynoisyelectricguitarslikethatcrazyrebelBobDylan’.
Tony Norman should have heeded his editor’s advice when he overstepped the mark, asking Jagger about his drug habits:
‘Why did you even go there? I mean drugs, you must have known…’
‘I just… Rolling Stone… wanted to be like Rolling Stone’.
‘I’d stick to being Tony Norman if I were you’.

To trace the ‘Swinging Sixties’ is to travel a well-trodden path: you don’t need more than a cursory knowledge to know that The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, free love and conspicuous drug-taking all featured heavily. In his new autobiography, My Cool Sixties: Lennon, Jagger & The Rest, journalist Tony Norman revisits that well-known history and, consequently, much of the book’s content is already familiar.

The title (which promises a lot more than Norman could ever deliver) refers to his meetings with John Lennon and Mick Jagger, although he didn’t exactly hang out with them regularly: the Jagger event was an interview for Top Pops magazine, whilst the interview with Lennon seems to have been conducted alongside several other journalists.

JFK’s assassination is covered, with Norman calling it ‘sad, sadder than sad’ (I think he’s trying to tell us it’s sad); Ursula Andress in Doctor No is ‘absolutely sexily gorgeous’ (another original insight); and the Mods and Rockers, fighting in Brighton, are ‘some blokes [having] a good punch-up’. He desperately tries to prove that he was in the midst of the free love movement when he recounts receiving a blow job from a random woman, yet he somehow misses the whole point when he writes, ‘that gentle, trippy sister of mercy definitely shone the light for free love. Will we meet again? Probably not, but I won’t forget her’.

An autobiography is an intensely personal medium, yet Norman has filled his book with references to events that he had very little to do with. By relating his life vicariously through that which we already know, Norman has stumbled upon one of the most lasting legacies of the Sixties: the faddism of youth culture (although you’d be better off watching Quadrophenia or American Graffiti for more entertaining explorations of this). Things become relatively more interesting when Norman talks about his home life, but this book tells us as much about the reality of that decade as Austin Powers or The Ruttles, and I know as much about Tony Norman the man after finishing this dull read as I did when I started.

Besides the predictable content, Norman’s style also leaves much to be desired: he ‘plecks’ his bass with his ‘pluctrum’ and bands are ‘fabtastic’. Somehow it was deemed advisable to use huge strings of words, so that we are confronted with the ‘oldladynakedinthebathroom’ shock, and adults’ hatred ‘nastynoisyelectricguitarslikethatcrazyrebelBobDylan’.

Tony Norman should have heeded his editor’s advice when he overstepped the mark, asking Jagger about his drug habits:

‘Why did you even go there? I mean drugs, you must have known…’

‘I just… Rolling Stone… wanted to be like Rolling Stone’.

‘I’d stick to being Tony Norman if I were you’.

 

Preview: Tamings

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Alex Brinkman-Young has bitten off rather a lot in this ambi­tious production. When this is good, it is very, very good – and, con­versely, when it is bad, it is horrid.

‘Set in the radical cultural shifts between the 50s and 60s’ (or so says the flyer), this show, on at the O’Reilly next week, is an adaptation of Shake­speare’s Taming of the Shrew, closely followed by the little-performed The Tamer Tamed. As a concept, it is not uninteresting, yet there is much to be ironed out for it to really succeed. Especially in a show that encompass­es over two hours and more than twenty actors.

Such a juxtaposition, and tem­poral setting, certainly sets out to ‘provoke thought’. And yet, these ‘radical’ times seem represented in only a very tokenistic way, by means of rockabilly hairstyles and clinging high-waisted trousers. Unfortunate­ly, this doesn’t really help us to real­ize any intrinsic truths either about the play or the era. This was true to a certain extent of some of the act­ing, which, at its worst, seemed more like parody, with actors playing ad­jectives (think ‘shouty’, ‘aggressive’, ‘sassy’) rather than characters.

On the other hand, some genu­inely brilliant talent is showcased: Ben Cohen’s Petruchio is engaging and thoughtful, while Olivia Arigho Stiles’ gender-bending Tranio is one of the strongest bits to this patchy production. Will Bond’s Gremio is also superb, providing much of the limited comic relief sadly absent from this ‘comedy’. Also regrettably lacking is sexual tension – unusual in a play that is so much about gen­der (and features, largely, quite a ‘fit’ cast).

Directorial touches, when they appeared, are sometimes quite inspired: some well-orchestrated scuffles break up the tedium of con­versation, while one scene in which Baptista (Alex Stutt) agrees a match between Kate (Annecy Attlee) and Petruchio is particularly strong. I would have liked to have seen more of these moments elsewhere in the production; enough such scenes could lift this play from mediocrity to excellence. The large cast work well within the space available, and I have high hopes for how they intend to integrate the balcony and aisle. The O’Reilly can be a difficult stage; I have every expectation that they will make the most of this, and that fur­ther rehearsals will no doubt make for a more compelling final piece.

Report: Oxford Council Elections

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Elections for Oxford City Council on 3rd May 2012 saw Labour increase its existing majority by three: Labour now holds 29 of 48 seats. The Green party succeeded in maintaining its total of five seats, including the Holywell ward where students make up the vast majority of voters. Sam Hollick of Christ Church College was elected Green Councillor for Holywell, gaining 356 of 902 votes cast.

The Liberal Democrats, however, have lost three seats in comparison with their previous total, a trend that looks set to be reflected nationwide. One independent candidate was also elected to Oxford City Council: Mick Hanes in Marston Ward, who took the seat from Labour with 877 votes to their 636. 

David Willetts dines at Keble High Table

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Students across Oxford expressed their outrage after Universities Minister David Willetts dined at Keble’s High Table on Tuesday.

Willetts, who was invited to dine by a Fellow of the College, has been a controversial figure in Oxford since he announced his higher education reforms last year. In June, Oxford formally passed a near-unanimous vote of no confidence in Willetts, with 283 votes to 5.

A spokesperson for Keble’s Warden Sir Jonathan Phillips said, ‘Willetts was invited to dine by a College Fellow, and it would have been extremely discourteous not to welcome him as a guest.’

However, many students believed that hosting Willetts undermines the University’s decision to oppose his policies.

Queen’s JCR President Sean Robinson, who was present at the dinner, told Cherwell, ‘I was shocked that Willetts was invited to dine at the institution that recently condemned him. Congregation voted that they have no confidence in the minister; the decision to host Willetts shows contradicts that decision.

“The fellow who invited him may have just thought he was inviting a friend to dinner but he wasn’t. He invited to supper the man who was in charge of bypassing parliament in order to undemocratically sneak through the privatisation of the higher education system – and thus deny to thousands the educational opportunities that he, and everyone else dining in that hall, have received. By inviting the minister he signals that he is okay with the Con-Dem government’s unopular policies on higher education.’

Keble student Edward Knight commented, ‘Inviting David Willetts to Keble’s high table undermines the University’s voice on and opposition to the government’s higher education policy, which it has openly condemned and voted no confidence in by a vast majority.’

Another student, also at Keble, added, ‘Many of us were surprised that Willets had been invited to High Table given that the fellows had passed a historic vote of no confidence in the minister for higher education last summer and OUSU has also campaigned against him and his policies.’

However, some felt it was less of a political issue. Basil Vincent, Keble’s JCR President, commented, ‘Although I appreciate that David Willetts’ presence might have appeared controversial given the University’s feelings towards the Minister, I reject the idea that inviting an alumnus of the University to High Table at Keble is tantamount to unequivocally endorsing their political opinions.’

Similarly, St Anne’s medic Andrew Mawer acknowledged, “As much as I disagree with David Willett’s policies and as unlikely as I am to invite him to dinner myself, I see nothing wrong with him dining with a friend, who happens to go to Keble college, in his own free time.’

One anonymous Keble student agreed, telling Cherwell “I’m no fan of Willets but I don’t think decrying fellows’ dinner guests is a particularly productive or edifying use of anyone’s time. Let Two Brains have his three courses.”

Oxford University declined to comment, as the invitation was to a private dinner.

The motion against Willets, that “Congregation instructs council to communicate to the government that the university has no confidence in the policies of the Minister of Higher Education” was passed by Oxford academics on June 7th 2011.

Keble crackdown on library noise

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Students at Keble College have been reminded about the need for silence in their college library in a sharply written notice from the Senior Dean, Dr Simon Hunt.

The notice, which has been displayed in the lodge for over a week and was emailed to all Keble students in a response to ‘consistent complaints’, stated, “It is mainly just chit-chat by people who don’t take the trouble to converse outside the library…[but] there are other inconsiderate noises such as noises in earbuds and crinkling wrappers.”

It warned that “on library etiquette there are no grey areas” and that “the deans and librarians would show no leniency” when dealing with disturbances. Hunt also added that they wished students to “exert peer pressure to alter the culture so that making a noise becomes simply unacceptable.”

The Dean reminded students, “that this term in particular, with exams and revision already ongoing, it’s essential for all students to observe proper silence in the Library at all times”, and wrote that the “Dean Team” would be making “random visits”. The Dean added that the college “would not hesitate to fine those making a disturbance’, warning students that there would be no ‘second offences”.

This new enforcement of library etiquette has met with mixed reactions from students. One fresher, who did not wish to be identified, said, “It is very distracting when people leave their phones out buzzing really loudly and whispering to each other, but I think the email did go a bit far.”

First year Classical Archaeology and Ancient History student Justyna Ladosz commented, “Even though it is really annoying when people make a noise in the library, I don’t think that the ‘Dean Team’ are nearly scary enough to make any difference.”

The email was also met by rather bemused reactions. First year linguist, Ben Haveron, told Cherwell, “The phrase, ‘there will be no second offences’ sounds like they’re going to kill you” but still advised that “at 4am you can make all the noise you want and there’s no one to get annoyed.”

Second year student, Owen Campbell-Moore, commented, “The email was pretty hilarious”, and remarked that people were already being stricter in the library, adding, “last week I whispered something quickly to my girlfriend next to me and someone told me to shush.”

Another first year, who did not want to be named, commented on the harsh nature of the email, saying that sticking to the new etiquette “will be difficult, I’m not a quiet person.”

They added, “People are people, you’ll see someone you know and talk, but I will try to help keep a good working environment now.”

Keble College librarian, Ms Yvonne Murphy, told Cherwell, “We are trying to make the library a good place for everyone, the restrictions haven’t changed – there’s nothing different, they’re just being re-enforced.”

Christ Church statue dressed in Chelsea colours

Two Christ Church students have been fined £175 each for adorning the Mercury statue with Chelsea paraphernalia, following their team’s qualification for the Champions League Final on Tuesday.

In the early hours of Wednesday morning, in response to Chelsea’s victory, undergraduates Theo Oulton and James Ware jumped into the pond surrounding the famous Mercury fountain in Tom Quad. They waded up to the figure, and wreathed it with a Chelsea football team flag. They then proceeded to add a woolly Chelsea hat to the 84 year old statue.

When asked to explain his actions, Oulton told Cherwell how he and Ware “proudly…front-crawled into the middle [of the pond] holding aloft the mighty blue. [We] climbed up, covered ourselves in cuts in the process [as] the Chelsea boys would have done, no less, and crowned Fernando’s shrine.”

The two were eventually identified by Oulton’s wallet, which was left at the scene. The disciplinary action that followed was swift, and has been deemed “harsh” by many students.

The Junior Censor at Christ Church, David Nowell, defended the action taken by the college, citing the possible peril which the boys might have brought upon both themselves and the statue.

He stated that “the statue concerned is fragile and potentially dangerous to access”, and refuted claims that the pair had been punished for what was called by some an essentially “harmless act”.

The celebrated Mercury fountain is also home to a large koi carp, donated by the Empress of Japan and reported to be worth a small fortune, the safety of which may also have been a cause of concern. Oulton commented that he had to overcome his “chronic fear of fish” in order to carry out the feat.

Nowell added that “the ‘adornment’ of the statue was only one of a number of disciplinary matters taken into consideration” when a suitable punishment was being decided upon.

Oulton and Ware received receipts detailing the breakdown of their £175 fines. They were each charged £75 for the actual stunt, and £25 for each offence of being drunk, failing to respond to the fire alarm, “causing a disturbance/playing music at 5am,” and being “not suitably dressed” in public.

The overwhelming reaction from students has been one of amusement at their actions and sympathy for the boys. Tyler Alabanza-Béhard, a first year student at Christ Church, remarked, “Everyone knows that Mercury is a massive Chelsea fan, so it was great at last to see some pride on his part.”

Another Christ Church fresher commented, “My morning walk across the prestigious Tom Quad in the rain was somewhat improved by the sight of Mercury showing his support for Chelsea’s victory, much to the confusion of several hundred Chinese tourists”.

Oulton expressed no regret for his actions, commenting simply that, “The lads deserved nothing less. Torrrrreeeeeeees!!!”. Ware stated that he was “still too ecstatic to comment”.

Sam Cato, a student at New College, similarly judged it “the perfect way to celebrate Chelsea’s win”, and a St Catherine’s fresher was likewise impressed, commenting, “LOL top banter!”

However, not everyone was as sympathetic. A fresher at Lady Margaret Hall commented, “Whilst their endeavour and commitment merits respect, I cannot help but express disappointment that they failed to realise that the only team’s flag worthy of adorning such a venerated statue is Everton’s. Huzzah!”